The Invisible Worm
It was good to see General Hammond back in his familiar position in the control room as my team and I entered the Stargate. I knew that we were leaving the Base in good hands.
Yes – it was back to normal for General Jack and his team of Goa’uld kickers.
Back to the routine.
I got to go on off world missions and my paperwork was only the size of a small hill instead of the large mountain that it had been before Hammond’s return to duty. My new position as mission coordinator of the SGC let me do what I was best at – look after my people. I was even beginning to enjoy the interminable meetings in Washington, the strategic planning and the mission objectives. With all of that, plus my duties as 2IC, I had my hands full.
Sure I’d had a few set backs over the past few months – courtesy of Ba’al, but that was over. I was back and back with a vengeance.
Nothing was going to stop me this time.
“Oh for cryin’ out loud!”
Carter sniggered. She sniggered. At me – her CO. The General.
I picked myself up and glared accusingly at the large piece of marble under my foot.
Yes things were definitely back to normal.
“Something amusing you, Major?”
“No, Sir”. She did an admirable job of looking contrite. I wasn’t fooled.
“Are you alright, O’Neill?” At least Teal’c seemed genuinely concerned. Or at least he wasn’t laughing.
“I’m fine thanks, T. Nice of you to ask.”
My pointed remark went right over the head of Daniel. He was staring up into the sky with a distracted look on his face.
“Wow, guys - will you look at that!”
I must admit that it was a spectacular sight. The three moons seemed almost close enough to touch. They gave the whole scene an eerie multicolored glow. It all looked very alien.
Which, of course, it was.
I tried for the nonchalant tone.
“Okay. Let’s stop gawping at the sky and get set up.” I’m not sure if I succeeded, even I felt a little awed and that wasn’t a feeling that I had experienced much lately.
We had come to PY78-B12 for the very purpose of staring up at the moons, but we were going to do it using sophisticated astronomical equipment, not the naked eye, and the instruments had to be got ready to give us plenty of observation time before dawn. For some reason, the scientists back on Earth had decided that this was one exciting night sky and wanted us to record it in its entirety.
We were scheduled to spend three days on the planet, so we all got to work setting up the camp.
I had just lit the fire when I heard muttered grumbling coming from the direction of the main telescope.
“What’s up, Major?” I sauntered over to find Carter fiddling with the settings.
“I can’t get this aligned properly, Sir. I think that it may have been damaged when we came through the wormhole.”
I bent forward. “Let me have a look. You take a break. I’ve just made coffee”
After a few minutes I called her back from the fire.
“Try that.”
Putting her mug down, Carter bent to check out the various adjustments that I had made. She turned back towards me, obviously trying to keep the surprise from her voice.
“Perfect, Sir. How did you do it?”
I looked away from her, towards the distant trees. “You thought that I just had that telescope up on my roof for staring at the neighbours, Carter?”
“No, Sir. Not at all.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “But it takes more than a casual interest in the stars to understand the settings on this equipment.”
I kept my eyes resolutely focused on the distance. Time to drop another one of those little gems of information. “Yeah – well, it helps to have a doctorate in astronomy.”
“You have a doctorate in astronomy! Why didn’t you say anything?”
I enjoyed keeping Carter off balance. It didn’t hurt her to have to take a slightly different look at things.
I turned back towards her slightly, so that she could see my smile. “So you stopped looking when you found the Masters, eh Carter? I took astronomy because it seemed like a good idea at the time. I wasn’t sure where my career was heading and I thought that it could come in handy. Seems that I was right. Why do you think that I assigned this mission to SG-1?”
With that, I went and poured myself a coffee and settled down for a night of moon gazing.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
There’s nothing like the sound of birds to wake you up in the morning. And this was nothing like. This was the sound of…? Well, I wasn’t sure, but it sure as hell wasn’t birds. Pigs? Large flying buffalo? Aerial oxen? Oh well – whatever it was, it certainly woke us up and got us out of our tents.
Daniel had taken last watch, but he seemed as startled as we had been by the noise. We turned in every direction as the sound faded away into the distance, but could see nothing.
Whatever the creatures had been, they served to remind us that we shouldn’t take anything for granted. We were on an alien planet thousands of light years from home and we would always do well to remember that.
The day passed slowly. I entered the calculations from the equipment into the computer, taking perverse delight in seeing Daniel doing the normal perimeter watches that I normally undertook. Carter and I worked silently for most part, concentrating on the complicated permutations.
It was late afternoon that Teal’c returned to camp from scouting out the surrounding area.
“I have found a small village several kilometres to the west of us, O’Neill. There appear to be approximately one hundred and fifty residents.”
I could see the look of eager anticipation on Daniel’s face.
Here we go again.
Without much persuasion, I agreed to allow some time to observe the villagers tomorrow. I contacted Hammond and told him of our change of plans and we settled down for another night of observations.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
My dreams were never pleasant, but the ones that I just woke up from would beat the others in a nightmare contest hands down.
I could remember most of them.
The pain that overwhelmed every sense.
The total despair.
The loss.
The emptiness.
And the darkness.
Feelings that I have lived with now for months.
Struggling every second to act as normal.
Now it is only in my dreams that I let the feelings win.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
So here we were, once again attempting to extend the hand of friendship to a new race.
We walked into the village to the usual sounds of excited calls and children hurrying to get their parents. I let Daniel take the lead and took a position at the rear of our little troop, watching every movement. I knew that Teal’c would be guarding our back and that Carter would be searching for signs of technology – anything that could help us in our battle against the Goa’uld.
The villagers were the average run of the mill alien planet types, nothing too exceptional in appearance. They looked reasonably happy and healthy at first glance, their clothes indicating that they had reached about the medieval level of culture.
Daniel stepped forward and did his usual “Take me to your leader” speech. Okay – it was the “Hi, we’re peaceful travellers” one, but same difference, and sure enough, out of the crowd popped the standard group of elders with their leader in the middle.
Don’t get the idea that I’m a bit jaded here.
Really.
Every new planet is a new exciting experience for me.
Alright – maybe just a little jaded.
I stood silently, waiting for the Goa’uld to jump out from the shadows or the fanatics to pick up their pitch forks.
Nada.
Perhaps this time we might actually get to just talk, have a meal and make friends.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
The evening seems to be going well for my team. We’re sitting around a large table, surrounded by laughing happy people.
Or at least, my team is.
There are empty seats on either side of me and no one appears willing to fill them. Each time that I turn to speak to one of the elders, they begin an animated conversation with someone else.
I would say that they wouldn’t even meet my eyes, but I can’t because I haven’t tried that yet.
I don’t really try that with anyone anymore.
So I’m sitting here watching the others, sort of divorced from the proceedings.
I notice other things too.
That all the children had been taken from the room when I arrived.
That whenever I catch a glimpse of a villager out of the corner of my eye they are staring at me.
That…
“Hey, Daniel.” I bent across the table and nudged the elbow of my expert in arcane symbolism.
He turned away from the men next to him with a brief apology.
“Yes, Jack?”
“What’s this mean?” I held my fingers in the convoluted manner that I had noticed
He gave me a weird look. “Why, Jack?”
“Because every time I look at one of these people, they’re doing that.”
“It looks like a variation of an ancient warding sign. For warding off evil.” He looked a bit spooked and took a quick look around the room. “I’m sure that you’re wrong, Jack. I can’t see anyone doing anything like that. You’re probably imaging it.”
I gave him a smile and a nod of reassurance and he turned back to his conversation.
Yeah sure, Daniel. I’m imagining it. And those big flying buffalo just came through the window.
Warding off evil.
Sounds about right.
I made my excuses and went to sit outside.
Watch the pretty moons.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
Now this is so not right.
Just for once I would like to visit a planet and not get whomped. Is it too much to ask? Just once?
Where the hell am I now?
Not sitting outside looking at the night sky, that’s for sure.
Nope – I’d say inside, lying in the dark with a thunderously huge headache.
Way to go, General – you did this to yourself. Got all black funk and let your guard down. Went into one of those sudden empty spaces that jump out at you from where they are hiding. Got distracted.
Not good.
I can hear a soft scrapping sound. A small patch of almost light appears near the floor and I barely have time to sit up before it is gone again.
There is someone in the room with me.
I can hear them breathing.
Hands grab me and hold me tight, yanking my arms painfully behind me.
I stand, helpless, as a candle is lit in the corner. The sudden light makes my eyes water and I quickly look away.
“What the hell is going on here?”
“Do not speak.” The voice that answered me was familiar and with an effort of concentration, I remember. It’s that skinny guy that always stood at the leader’s left shoulder.
“What do...” I didn’t get far with my next question. Skinny Guy punched me hard in the stomach and I needed all my breath to – well, breathe.
His unseen helpers pulled me roughly across the room and flung me down onto a hard surface. Straps are wrapped around me and I find that I can’t move even an inch. Except for my head.
I lift my head and glare straight into Skinny Guy’s eyes. Then with a voice that would have got me a job in any horror movie, I intone, “Release me.”
General Jack’s number one rule – If you got a talent, use it.
Didn’t work.
All it got me this time were gasps from the men around me and a solid whack across the head with a club.
Crap.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
Waking up to find that you are tied to a table is not a good thing at all.
I can’t have been out for long, because Skinny Guy is sitting patiently next to me.
“Do not look at me again.”
“Okay, sure. Not looking”
The pain of the club pounding into my stomach was almost as bad as it had been on my head.
“Don’t speak. I will explain why you are here.”
Oh goody. But I think that I have a pretty good idea. Those fancy finger movements weren’t just the local way of waving hello.
Right again, Jack.
They had just hidden the pitchforks.
“When you entered our village, I looked into your eyes and saw the darkness. Your companions are good people, They have clear, bright hearts. You walk amongst them unsuspecting. I will not allow you to endanger them or anyone else. I will release the bad humours from your body and take away the darkness. You will be cleansed.”
“Oh for cryin..”
Okay – I got the idea. Don’t speak.
But if I can’t speak how can I tell them just how wrong they are.
I wouldn’t harm my friends.
There is nothing bad inside me.
That problem is that there is nothing inside.
I need to be filled, not emptied.
And exactly what did he mean by releasing the humours?
This does not sound good.
Skinny Guy has taken a short blade from his tunic and is now standing over me. One of his men releases the strap binding my left wrist and pulls my arm to rest over the edge of the table.
I can only watch as the blade rips into the vein on the inside of my elbow.
I can only watch as the blood flows out.
It runs steadily down and I can hear the soft drips as they are collected in some sort of container under the table.
Maybe this is right.
Maybe it had to happen.
I can feel my life flowing out.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
“Jack? Come on, Jack. You’ve got to wake up.”
I can hear Daniel’s voice calling me in the distance, but I’m much too tired to answer.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
I can feel myself being dragged along, my arms looped over the shoulders of a person on each side of me. With an effort, I open my eyes, only to see nothing but the brown dirt under my dangling feet.
I need to lift my head.
I’m much too tired.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
“Sir, wake up.”
I’m not moving any more. The air feels cool and I shiver. Warmth is wrapped around me, but it isn’t enough. I can feel myself getting colder by the minute.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
Someone is shaking me. I am so tired. They keep shaking and I open my eyes to see what the matter is. Why won’t they let me go back to sleep? Their faces are above me – Carter, Teal’c, Daniel - hovering over me.
“Jack?”
I don’t know what Daniel wants.
“What?” The effort of that one small word exhausts me and I start to fall asleep again, ignoring them.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
I dream of machines of torture filling my head with sounds and lights and pain and hurt and crying and screams and emptiness and darkness and oblivion.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
The next time that I wake, I’m in the infirmary.
Now I really am tired - of this repetitive cycle of hurt.
Stop the world – I want to get off.
Trouble is that I get off the world all the time and that’s what seems to be the problem.
The Doc is here now, doing her Doc like stuff, but this time a little more gently than usual.
“Hi, Sir. How are you feeling?”
Like an elephant just sat on my head, Doc. I think that the word that springs to mind is smushed.
Yeap – smushed.
“A bit tired, Doc.”
“That’s to be expected, General.” She was smiling. My answer had made her happy. Strange woman. “You lost a lot of blood. Do you remember what happened?”
I nod. Oh yeah, I remember.
Every last moment, until I drifted away into my dreams.
Somehow, my team has materialized at my bedside. I have decided that they must now have Nirti’s stealth technology.
The puzzled look on my face must have given me away.
‘You fell asleep, Sir. It’s been a few hours.”
I manage a nod.
Daniel presses a hand to my arm and gives me a shaky smile.
“You had us really worried there, Jack.”
I can see that by their faces.
“How did I get home?” I need to know, but I think that I may have to go back to sleep soon.
Carter launched into the explanation. When they had noticed that I was gone, they had asked the elders if they had seen me leave. Everyone had denied knowing anything about my disappearance, so they had gone searching. They had even gone back to our campsite by the gate.
By morning they were seriously worried.
Teal’c had returned to the village and “persuaded” one of the elders to talk. That’s how they found out about my alter ego “Spawn of Satan”
Daniel took up the story.
It seems that we had stumbled upon a society still practising medieval medicine. All ills could be traced to the imbalance of the four humours in the body. By bleeding me they had genuinely thought that they would release the evil that they saw in me and save my soul.
I can tell you right now that it hadn’t worked.
By the time that my team found me I had almost bled out. Skinny Guy had been waiting for my blood to run black to show that the badness had been removed. Unfortunately for me, that hadn’t happened.
It seems that it had been touch and go for a while there, until they got me back into the hands of Janet.
I don’t think that I will be visiting that planet again in a hurry. I was probably lucky that they hadn’t had a stake handy to burn me at.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
General Hammond came to see me soon after I woke. Talk about a guilt trip. The look on his face was enough to start me apologising profusely.
I’ve caused the poor man enough worries over the last few months to last a lifetime. Or in my case, several.
I don’t think that he’s going to let me off world again in a hurry.
Double crap.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
The machines dig and eat.
They devour.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
I woke up with the world’s most excruciating headache. It must have been the middle of the night, because the lights were dimmed and there was no activity in the surrounding ward.
I lay, grasping at the last wisps of the memory of a dream.
There was something that I needed to remember.
It was within reach.
I sat up and groped for the robe at the foot of the bed. With very little fumbling, I put it on and began my slow walk out of the infirmary.
Generals do not fall down in their own corridors.
Generals are strong and brave.
Generals know what they want and go get it.
Yeah – right.
With the help of the corridors walls, I reached my goal.
My knock was asked by a surprised “Come”
George stared at me in amazement as I entered his office.
“Jack, what in God’s name are you doing out of the infirmary?” He hurried around the desk and grabbed my arm. “Sit down before you fall down.”
I have to admit that the chair felt mighty good. I shut my eyes for a moment and took a shaky breath.
“I’ve remembered something, Sir. About Ba’al.”
He stayed perched on his desk beside me. “What, Son? What have you remembered?”
“Maybe it was the crack on the head that I got on that planet. Maybe I just needed time to remember. I knew that there was something that I was missing, George.” I looked up and into his eyes. “I’ve been missing something since I came home. Something important. And I thought that I knew what it was.” I paused before continuing. I could see the extra lines around his mouth and wondered how many of them I’d been responsible for.
“I thought that I’d lost my soul, George. That Ba’al had taken it from me.”
I heard the sudden intake of breath, but I held his gaze – unflinching.
“I was wrong. I remember now. Ba’al had a machine that he hooked me up to. I think that it was some sort of experimental thing. He hooked me up to it and I could feel it suck at my mind. Perhaps it was meant to record my memories or something, but it never seemed to work properly.” I shut my eyes for a moment in an effort to dredge up the elusive memories. “Something happened. It did something. I could feel it pulling at me, like water going down the drain. It’s all jumbled up in my mind and I’m not sure what’s real anymore and what I’m just dreaming.”
“Take your time. Son.” I jumped slightly. I had almost forgotten that he was there.
“After a few hours, Ba’al gave up on the machine and went back to his normal techniques. I remember being in agony, as if my head was going to break into tiny pieces.” I snapped my eyes open again. “But I remember now. The machine did take something from me. I could feel it going. I could feel myself emptying. It didn’t take my memories, George. It took my essence, the things that make me who I am. I can remember what has happened to me before Ba’al’s ship, but I can’t feel it. I have the memories of the experience but no emotions. I can’t even remember what I felt when my own son died. Ba’al took it all from me.”
I got to my shaky feet.
“And I want it back.”
The End
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