Sharing the Past
Sharing the Past
by Jez
TITLE: Sharing the Past
AUTHOR: Jez
EMAIL: jez80@ozemail.com.au
CATEGORY:
SPOILERS: Kinda for The First Commandment
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: While in Washington, Sam runs into someone from her past who dredges up old memories.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know there's some speculation as to whether Sam was a pilot or not. I always thought that she was (from that scene in CotG) so for this fic she was a pilot. Big thanks to Kes for beta'ing this for me!
~~o0o~~
"So that was a Presidential lunch huh?" Daniel said to his team mates as they walked down the steps of the White House. "I told you they were pretty boring Daniel. I went to so many of these when I was at the Pentagon" Sam replied. "Oh come on. Free food, rubbing shoulders with the brass. Don't tell me that doesn't get your blood rushing Carter" Jack teased her. "Sorry Sir. Try an F-16 at 8G's and you'd be getting pretty close" she replied with a grin. Jack grinned back at her. He loved the sparring that went on between them. "If you loved flying so much how come you left huh?"
Pain flickered across Sam's face momentarily but she quickly controlled it. "Because I love science too. Besides, I was working to get the Stargate Program up and running remember?" "Ah, how could I forget that?" Jack was sure he'd seen something cross Sam's face but she'd hidden it so quickly he couldn't be sure. She seemed to be her usual, bubbly self as she joked with Daniel.
They walked along, laughing and Sam didn't notice the roller blader until he had almost hit her. Jack pulled her towards him but the blader had already swerved to avoid her and hit another pedestrian. Jack held onto Sam for a minute longer, enjoying having her in his arms. Sam disentangled herself from her CO and went to check on the other pedestrian. "Are you okay?" She asked as she helped the elderly woman to her feet. The woman looked up and Sam gasped. "Debbie." "Hello Samantha."
Jack, Daniel and Teal'c looked on. Not only surprised that Sam knew this woman but surprised at the hatred that radiated from the older woman's eyes. "It's been a while" Sam said politely, but it was obvious that she was uncomfortable. "Not long enough as far as I'm concerned!" Debbie almost spat. Sam sighed and turned to walk away but Debbie had other ideas. She grabbed Sam's arm. "So does your boyfriend here know what you did to my son?" She turned to a very confused Jack. "Did she tell you that she was responsible for my son's death?" Sam pulled the woman's hand off her arm. "I am *not* responsible for what happened to Jonas!"
It suddenly dawned on Jack who this woman was. Jonas Hanson's mother. He grabbed Sam's arm and started leading her away but not before they all heard Debbie's final words. "You killed his daughter and then left him! How can you not be responsible?"
Jack could feel Sam shaking as he led her away. Looking at her face he could see her struggling to control her emotions. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly. "I'm fine" she replied, pulling away from his grasp. "I'm going back to the hotel. I'll see you later." She walked away before either Jack or Daniel could say another word. "What in the hell was that about Jack?" Daniel asked as they watched her retreating figure. "I don't know Daniel, but she was upset. She was shaking." "What do you think Hanson's mother meant by 'you killed his daughter'?" Jack sighed. "I have no idea Daniel. I'll give her some time to calm down and then I'll go and talk to her."
Daniel nodded, agreeing with Jack. Ever since Sam had been infected by Jolinar, Jack and Sam had gotten a lot closer. Daniel was sure they weren't involved but he also knew they cared very deeply for each other. It was something that made them so good as a team, being able to read each other's thoughts. Right now, Daniel could see that Jack was really worried about Sam. He was still staring in the direction she'd walked off in, even though she was no longer visible. "Let's go and get a coffee Jack."
About an hour later, Jack walked up to the door of Sam's hotel room. He knocked tentatively and waited for her to answer. When she did, he could tell that she had been crying. "Hi" he said quietly. "Hi" she replied, moving aside to let him in. "I was wondering when you were going to come." "I couldn't just ignore the fact that you were upset before. You know I couldn't." "Yeah, I know." She walked over to the bar fridge. "Do you want a beer?" 'Yeah, why not." He took the beer she offered and watched as she made herself a vodka and orange. "So... you wanna talk about it?" He asked casually, sitting down on the bed.
Sam sat down next to him. "I wasn't exactly truthful when you asked why I stopped flying." She took a deep breath. "I transferred because I was pregnant." To Jack's credit he didn't choke on his beer. "What happened?" He asked quietly. "I went into labour at six months. It was a girl, we called her Ebony. She lived for five hours in an incubator." The tears slipped down her cheeks as she remembered her little girl. "And they blamed you." She nodded. "Debbie did. She was always on at me because I wanted to stay fit and keep working. I mean I'd checked everything with my doctor but she thought that I should be lying at home with my feet up for the whole nine months. So first she was on about that. Then it was my fault because I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was two months, and of course I'd been flying for all that time. I mean I was feeling guilty enough without her going on about it." "Did you find out why it happened?" "Apparently I had a weak cervix. The doctor's didn't pick it up." "Then it wasn't your fault" Jack said emphatically, making sure she believed it. "I know that now, but at the time I wondered and of course she didn't help."
Jack nodded his understanding. "What about Jonas?" He hated to think about those two together but he could tell that Sam really needed to talk. "Oh he just forgot all about Ebony. About a month later he was talking about trying for another baby. That's when all the fights started. He would tell me what I could and couldn't do, just in case I got pregnant. All he ever talked about was having kids. Here I was still grieving and he wanted me to get pregnant again. He lost it when he found out I'd gone back on the pill. I had a black eye for a week. That's when I broke off the engagement."
Jack enveloped Sam in a hug and they sat silently for a few minutes until Sam spoke again. "You know sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if Ebony had lived. I wonder what she would have been like, whether I would have been a good mother." Jack gave her a squeeze. "You would have been an excellent mother. I've seen it when you're with Cassie. You have a real maternal instinct." "Thanks" she whispered. She looked at him for a few moments. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to." "Try me" he replied. "Do you ever think about having another child?"
"Gotta find a woman before I worry about that" he joked, not sure if he could answer that question. Sam understood his reluctance and didn't press him for an answer. "You see every time I've ever thought about having another baby, all I can think of is the pain that I went through and I know that I couldn't handle that twice." "Yeah, I know what you mean Sam, but then you think of someone who you really want to be with and that will change. You'll start imagining what it would be like to have a family, what your children would look like and the pain eases just a little bit. It starts to feel like it's worth the risk." As he spoke he pictured a blond haired, blue eyed little girl. She'd be as smart as her mom with her daddy's twisted sense of humour. She'd be perfect.
Sam thought about his words and an image came to mind. A brown haired, brown eyed little boy with his daddy's cheeky grin and wicked sense of humour. A small smile formed on her face that didn't go unnoticed by Jack. "What's the grin for?" Sam blushed and wouldn't meet his gaze. "Nothing, just thought of something." "Come on, tell me" he pressed, leaning over to start tickling her. "No! Please stop!" She squealed. "Not until you tell me." He moved over her further, stopping her from escaping. "Stop Jack!" She screamed and they both stopped suddenly when they realised what she'd said.
Sam sat apprehensively, afraid that she'd overstepped her boundaries. "Sorry. Just slipped out." "That's okay Sam, in fact I'd like you to call me Jack. I never said anything because I didn't want you to be uncomfortable." Sam sighed. "It wouldn't make me uncomfortable. It's just that..." "What?" Jack prompted. "Calling you Colonel or Sir keeps everything straight in my head. It reminds me that you're my CO and can't be anything else."
Jack sat there staring at her for a few seconds. Did she want there to be more between them? Jack had to admit that he would love for them to take their relationship further, but had never imagined that Sam could have feelings for him beyond friendship. Right now though, she refused to look at him and her face was a deep shade of red. He reached out and turned her head to look at him. "I'd really like it if you called me Jack. I'd also really like to be more than your CO. I know that the regs prohibit fraternization but I also know that I've never been real big on regs."
Sam stared at him, mouth open. She said nothing and the silence was making Jack nervous. "What?" He asked quietly. "What are you thinking?" Sam swallowed. "I'm thinking I really want to kiss you." Jack let out the breath he'd been holding and smiled. "I think that sounds like a really good idea." They closed the distance between them and with the joining of their lips came a whole new beginning and the chance that, maybe one day, the blue eyed little girl and brown eyed little boy would become a reality.
THE END
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