Going Back, Moving Forward
This was the absolute last place Sam wanted to be.
The thing was, Edora was quite a nice place. The weather wasnice. The scenery was nice. The people were nice. Laira was nice.
Sam really hated it here.
She particularly hated Laira.
So what if she and the Colonel had a relationship while he was stranded here? So what if Sam had spent three of the most hellish months of her life rewriting the laws of physics to get him backhome? So what if the Colonel had barely even glanced at her, let alone fallen at her feet in undying gratitude when they had come through the gate after him, instead going to Laira and asking her to come with him? So what if Laira had been standing front and center with the group waiting to greet them when they escorted the diplomats through the Stargate for the treaty signing?
None of these was a reason to hate the woman. Sam had given this a lot of thought over the course of the afternoon and she knew exactly why she hated Laira.
She hated Laira because she had spent the entire afternoon finding excuses to smile at him, or touch him. Putting her hand on his shoulder to pull him down to say something in his ear. Taking his hand to lead him over to show him some new addition to the village. Laying her hand on his arm while she pointed something out to him. Sam hated her because she was right this very minute standing so close to him that Sam couldn't even see daylight between them.
And boy was she looking.
But that didn't mean that Sam was going to march over there and rip every hair out of the woman's head or anything. Of course not. She was a grown woman, not some jealous, lovesick teenager. She was a soldier. She could kill the woman with her bare hands. Sam shook her head to clear it. No, no, no. Can't do that. She was a major in the United States Air Force. She had a freaking Ph.D!
"I swear if she doesn't get that hand off him I'm gong to rip it off and beat her with it," Sam muttered under her breath. Not expecting to be overheard, since she had made a point of staying onthe outer fringes of the celebration currently going on in the center of the village, actually, she was as far away from any other people as she could get and still be considered present, Sam was surprised to hear Teal'c's voice beside her.
"Major Carter, you do not appear to be enjoying yourself."
She jumped slightly and turned, hoping that her voice sounded somewhat normal.
"Teal'c, I didn't see you there."
"You seemed to be concentrating most intently on the actions of Colonel O'Neill."
"I'm just watching the party. Everyone seems to be having a good time."
"Indeed. Why do you not join the festivities?"
"I'm just not in much of a party mood."
"I understand. If it is any consolation, O'Neill does not seem to be actively encouraging Laira's attentions."
"That doesn't seem to be slowing her down."
Teal'c glanced over to where Laira had again leaned close to the Colonel to direct his attention to something. "It does not."
"It doesn't matter, Teal'c."
"You have feelings for one another."
Sam also hated Anise and her damned Z'atarc machine.
"But we're not supposed to. And we can't do anything about them, not while he's my Commanding Officer. And there are a lot more important things going on."
"Your current situation will not last forever."
Sam gave him a small smile. Teal'c left her side to return to the celebration."
It was dark now, and Jack walked outside Laira's house, where SG-1 had been invited to spend the night, to find Carter sitting several yards away from the house. It was late Autumn on Edora,and although the weather was quite pleasant this time of year, what had been a crisp, sunny fall day had turned decidedly cool once the sun had gone down. Jack felt the chill as soon as he walked outside. Carter had been sitting out here since they had returned from the village celebration several hours earlier.
"Carter."
"Yes, Sir." She turned to look at him from where she sat on the ground, her back against a fence post.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Nothing, Sir."
"Oh. Okay. Everyone's getting ready to turn in for the night."
Sam glanced back towards the house. Laira's house. The house where the Colonel had lived for three months with...her... "I'm notreally ready to fall asleep yet, Sir. I'm just going to stay out here a little bit longer."
O'Neill stood looking down at his Second in Command for a moment, then he sighed and leaned against the fence, crossing his arms over his chest. "Okay, Carter. What's the problem?"
"Problem, Sir?"
"Don't do that."
"Do what, Sir?"
"Carter, don't try to out-dense me." His tone clearly conveyed his impatience.
"Sorry, Sir." Sam looked away.
After a moment Jack realized that no information was forthcoming. He knew she was hoping that he would just drop it.
"Is there some particular reason why you don't want to come into the house?"
"I just like it out here, Sir. It's ...peaceful."
"It's also cold. And you've been out here for hours now. Can you even feel your ears anymore?"
"I'm perfectly fine, Sir." The effectiveness of her answer was promptly ruined by her sudden sneeze.
Jack said nothing, he just looked at her with his eyebrows raised.
"Okay. So maybe I'm a little cold," she admitted grudgingly.
Jack just gave a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes as he removed his jacket and dropped it around her shoulders. Sam promptly burrowed deeper into its folds, savoring the warmth itheld from his body.
Jack moved an overturned bucket directly in front of Carter and sat down on it so he was closer to her eye level, since it didn't seem like she was going to look up at him, let alone get up off the ground unless he physically moved her.
"Carter, why don't you want to go in the house?"
Carter didn't answer, she just kept looking down at her feet. She looked...cornered."
"Is it because of Laira?" She didn't look up at him.
"Yes...No...Maybe. I don't know."
Jack nodded. "Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up."
She said nothing else.
Jack finally lost his patience. He reached out and grabbed her hands, pulling her up with him as he stood. "Would you please talk to me! Stop making me drag this out of you!"
"There's nothing to...," she stopped, suddenly unable to keep inside everything that had been building up since they had arrived onthis stupid planet. "Fine! You're right! I don't want to go in that house! I don't want to go into that house with that ...perfectly nice...woman who I can't seem to help hating! It's ridiculous! It's irrational! I've been sitting out here freezing my ass off for the past six hours trying to tell myself that but I'm still out here so I guess you can figure out how that's going!"
He had that surprised/confused look on his face, and he opened his mouth like he was going to say something then shut it again.
"Carter, I..."
"Never mind, Sir. I'm sorry. It's not like I have any right...It's not like..." Sam gave up and started to turn away, but he caught her hand, stopping her.
"Carter, you know how I..."
She still wasn't looking at him. "I know, Sir."
God, he hated when she called him that. They were standing here having, or not having, since neither of them seemed to be able to finish a sentence, probably the most important conversation of there relationship and they couldn't even use each other's first names.
"Look. Right now we can't make each other promises about the future."
"What we do is important."
"Yes," he replied. "But we aren't going to do it forever. Sooner or later, we're going to have to let someone else take over and trust that they can get the job done. Eventually, I'm going to retire."
"This is a dangerous job."
"Yeah, but I'm to planning on dying anytime soon."
She looked up at him, eyebrows raised.
"Not permanently." He was rewarded with a small smile.
He still had to get her into the house, though.
"When I was here before..."
Sam started to turn away again, not wanting to hear what he was going to say. "You don't owe me an explanation."
He put his hand under her chin and forced her to look up at him. "But I want you to know, Carter. I want you to understand."
He took a deep breath. "I gave up. I guess that was before I figured out that you were stubborn enough to rewrite the laws of physics if they didn't suit your purposes. Laira was...here. And she was sweet and supportive and what I had with her was...nice. It was... comforting."
Sam was looking down at her boots again. Jack placed is hands on her cheeks again until she looked up at him, then he lowered his head slowly, giving her plenty of time to back away. Or tell him to stop. Or punch him. But she did none of those things, she simply waited until his lips touched hers. Her mouth opened under the gentle pressure of his, allowing his tongue to slip just inside. After a few endless moments that weren't nearly long enough, he pulled away. He took both her hands in his and placed them on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding unevenly. Her eyes were wide and slightly dazed as she looked up into his. "She never did that."
She smiled and moved her hands up until they were around his neck, pressing her body against his and burying her face in the curve of his neck. His arms came up around her waist and he held her tightly. Sam could still feel the strong beat of his pulse under her lips.
After a few moments they separated. "Are you ready to come inside now?"
She smiled at him. "Yes, Sir."
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