It's all in the Name
by Jena Bartley
TITLE: It's all in the Name
AUTHOR: Jena Bartley
EMAIL: js_bartley@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Humour
SPOILERS: None
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: M
CONTENT WARNINGS: Sexual Innuendo
SUMMARY: A simple discussion of drinks.
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, Heliopolis. Other sites, please ask permission.
DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM, World Gekko Corp., and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not indented by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was in a very silly mood when I wrote this. Combine that with the discussion last week about drinks on the samandjack list and you get this.
"Daniel Jackson, why would you name a drink, Love in a Hot Tub?"
Daniel choked on his coffee as he looked at Teal'c. "What?"
Teal'c tilted his head, a puzzled look on his face as he looked up from the drinks menu he was studying. The two of them sat waiting for Jack and Sam to arrive. They had decided to leave the base and eat out for a change. The local tap and grill offered excellent service and a quiet setting.
"Many of the drinks listed here seem to involve sex of some kind while others have some very unusual names, like Lava Lamp or Jamaican Ten Speed."
Daniel coughed, trying hard not to laugh at the Jaffa. Oh boy, how did he explain this one?
"I think Jack is more knowledgeable about this than I am. I don't drink much."
"I'll say." Colonel O'Neill sauntered over to them, his hands shoved in his jeans pockets. "Two beers and you're out for the night. Anyway, what am I supposed to be more knowledgeable about?"
"Why are some drinks named the way they are." Daniel grinned at him. "More specifically, why do some many refer to sex." He sat back in his chair, looking at him.
Jack looked from Daniel to Teal'c then sighed. He pulled out a chair and sat down. "Probably because the creator of the drinks wanted everyone to remember them."
"Or it's because they were all men with sex on the brain," a cheerful voice said behind him.
"Ouch, Carter. That hurt." O'Neill frowned at her as she sat down across from him. Like him, she wore jeans and a t-shirt. She grinned merrily at him.
"Well, women would never name drinks, Silk Panties or Between the Sheets."
"I suppose you prefer names like Intimate Encounter or Warm Fuzzy Feeling?" Jack shot back, his dark eyes flashing as they gazed into Sam's twinkling blue eyes.
"How about Woman's Revenge or, my personal favourite, a Virgin Jack."
Daniel couldn't help snickering as he watched his two friends. They were totally focussed on each other, ignoring Teal'c and him. Their usual flirting was more obvious tonight in the relaxed atmosphere of the bar. Glancing at Teal'c, he could see that the Jaffa also enjoyed the banter.
"Names like that sound like drinks for people who can't hold their liquor. Probably isn't much alcohol in them anyway."
"I beg to differ, Sir. A Warm Fuzzy Feeling is more potent then an Orgasm."
"But not as much fun." The words hung between them as they stared at one another.
The arrival of the waitress broke the spell that had been created. Teal'c and Daniel ordered first, letting the other two time to regain their equilibrium. As the waitress wrote down her order, Sam glanced slyly at Jack. "I'll also have a Sex on the Beach."
"We have several versions of that", the waitress said, not comprehending why the older man was chuckling. "You can have it with peach or raspberry schnapps or have a melon liqueur instead of the usual vodka. Then there is Sex on the Beach NYC Style."
"What does that involve?" Daniel asked innocently, ignoring the dirty looks from Jack and Sam. The waitress smiled at him.
"It's basically the same as Sex on the Beach, but also has orange juice and cranberry juice in it. Would you like to try it?"
"Sure. I'm always open to trying different things."
"Then I'll have a Sex on the Pool Table." Jack said, glancing at Carter, daring her to say something. She only grinned.
"We're out of blueberry schnapps," their waitress said apologetically. Her eyes flickered to Daniel's before returning to O'Neill. "However we do have several others in this family. There is Sex in the Desert...."
"Too gritty and gets into everything," Sam muttered under her breath. Jack caught the comment, and snickered.
"Sex on the First Date."
"Never." Jack's grin widened at Carter's remark.
"And then there is Sex on the Dance Floor."
"The logistics of that could be very interesting." Everyone looked at Jack. Teal'c going as far as arching his eyebrows.
"What?" He looked back at them, trying to look innocent. Turning to the waitress, he said, "I'll just have a beer."
After she left with their orders, Daniel steered the conversation away from sex and drinks. The looks Sam and Jack exchanged had the temperature rising fast. Slowly, they focussed on the rest of the team, eagerly joining in the discussion, but Daniel was aware of the covert glances they kept sneaking at each other. Teal'c noticed them as well, but remained silent. Dinner came and the rest of the evening passed in a haze of good food, laughter, and warm companionship.
As the night grew later, Daniel left with Teal'c, taking the Jaffa back to his place for the night. Sam and Jack stayed behind, a comfortable silence falling between them. Gazing at his companion, O'Neill couldn't help noticing how her t-shirt hugged her breasts, unlike her fatigues. Glancing at his watch to distract himself, he noticed how late it had become.
"I think it's time to leave. We have a mission tomorrow."
Sam nodded, watching as he stood up. Her mouth went dry as she noticed how his worn jeans hugged his hips. Bending to reach for his jacket, the jeans went taunt over his firm buttocks and Sam closed her eyes, trying to ignore her racing pulse. She stood up as well.
Outside, the air was cool and crisp. He walked her to her car and waited for her to unlock it and climb in. Before she could close the door, he leaned down, resting one hand on the car roof. She looked up at him in question.
"Regarding our earlier conversation, the best drink has to be a Slow Comfortable Screw Against A Wall."
Sam felt her breath catching at the image his words evoked. A hard wall against her back, his warm body against her front, his jeans riding low on his hips, unfastened. Her hands clutching his back as he slowly thrust into her. Taking his time, drawing out both their pleasure.
Jack watched her blue eyes darkened, knowing exactly what she was thinking. Her tongue licked her dry lips and he felt himself harden. Then she blinked and looked at him, a slight smile curving her lips.
"And what goes better with that than a Screaming Orgasm." Before he could respond, she slammed the door shut, started the, car and took off. He gazed after her, in mild shock. A grin spread across his face, and he started laughing as he headed for his own car.
END
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