Entity Prologue - Jack's POV
Entity Prologue - Jack's POV
by Queen Annae
Title: Entity Prologue - Jack's POV
Author: Queen Annae
Email: QueenAn_nae@hotmail.com
Category: Angst, MissingScene/Epilogue, POV, Thoughts
Episode related: 420 Entity
Season: Season 4
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: violence
Summary: Jack knows that Daniel and Sam can get into a lot of trouble on their own and even more together. Now he has to deal with what he did during Entity and why.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
How many times have I said that Daniel and Sam together are dangerous? It's not so much that they are dangerous to others but to themselves and each other.
They live for discovery, each in their own way willing to risk everything present and future for a chance to gain knowledge.
I have to play dumb. Granted, compared to Daniel in his fields and Carter in hers, I am dumb. That's not to say that I don't know more than I let on. One thing my training has taught me is never to let anyone know how much you know or how resourceful or how intelligent you are.
It isn't always a case of winning the war but a case of not losing it that gets the job done. Better to let the other guys die for their cause than to lose some of ours trying to be the biggest, baddest, bad boy on the block.
Teal'c and I balance Carter and Daniel. While they are brains, I guess that makes us the brawn of the team so to speak. I can deal with that. I just sometimes wish that Carter would give me a little more credit. Some times she gives up on me so fast when she is trying to take an advanced astrophysics theory and bring it down to the level of a guy that barely has a masters degree. OOPS. She doesn't know that. Heck, almost no one knows that. It's not as if they were going to assign some dummy to the original Stargate project. Not that I understand much of what she says but a lot more than she thinks I do.
I am as curious as anyone about what's waiting for us on the other side of the wormhole but I just approach it more from a paranoid military prospective rather than the Mr. Rogers one. Too many years in the military have taught me that you don't act until you assess the situation. It also means that you cut and run when the big boys come out blazing.
Sometimes I just have to take control. They are my responsibility. It's my responsibility to bring them home alive. Now it seems, I am responsible for keeping them alive on Earth, too. No place is safe anymore. Not that I ever really believed that Earth was all that safe. Too many people walking around that are willing to do anything to get what they want for me to believe that.
Carter is so wrapped up in her work. It would be cute if it wasn't so damn dangerous. She would have let her hand go untreated if I hadn't backed up Doc Frazier. Well, actually Janet would have forced her eventually, but my chiming sent Carter off to be treated a bit sooner.
I hate seeing anyone in pain, especially Carter. Untreated burns can get nasty. I know that from first hand experience. Still, I could have avoided another personal trip to Janet's room of pain by just being quiet. Well...maybe. Somehow, that woman always finds a way to stick me with a needle.
By the time I got to the Infirmary, Carter and Daniel were gone. Teal'c was just finishing up. I figured that Carter and Daniel were in a lab somewhere pouring over any information they could find.
I hate when the lights go out. Carter and General Hammond are use to my silliness and my putting myself between them and whatever. Watch and learn. That's what it was doing to us and what I was doing to it. Where we went it followed. I moved. It moved. I had hoped that it would keep focused on me. Mostly I wanted to keep it occupied while Carter and Daniel did what they do best.
I tried to stay close to them. As I said, Carter and Danny-boy feed off each other's enthusiasm and intelligence. It's like watching a ping pong game. Sometimes they miss the obvious. Sometimes knowledge comes with too high a price.
Offworld I lead. I command, decide and try to keep us from being killed. At SGC, I may be second in command but it's sort of an impotent position unless something happens to General Hammond or shit happens. Most of the time I fall into the background. My job, my responsibility is to protect. I protect Earth, SGC/SG-1 and myself in that order.
Carter and Sgt. Siler headed straight to the MALP room. I had to hustle to catch up with them. Siler and Carter should have known better. Just the two of them might not have been enough. Like I said, Carter thinks with her brain, not her instincts. Siler like Simmons and half the men on this base just follow her lead. Yes, she has the rank but not the instincts. Not yet, but she will. She's a good soldier and she'll learn. That's assuming she stays alive long enough to hone those instincts we all have but just don't use.
I caught them just as they started down the corridor to the MALP room. Again, I put myself between them and whatever. Half the time I don't even realize I am doing it.
The door wouldn't open and it was hot. It wasn't a big deal to figure out that it had been welded shut. It was easy when I leaned forward...the smell. The lack of scorch marks on the outside proved that it was an "inside" job.
While Siler went to get the torch, Teal'c and Daniel had time to join us. Teal'c and I hit the weapons locker. I wanted to be prepared for whatever we found once Siler got us into the MALP room. We moved back into military mode when Siler cut us a door. Carter entered after me, Daniel protectively sandwiched between her and Teal'c with his Zat gun.
I just stood there for an instant. It was all wires and stuff. A MALP was connected to a monitor and a keyboard. I wasn't sure where the external power source was that had kept it going. The MALP batteries had to have given out long ago if all this was running on MALP power.
I didn't know what I was looking at. I sure hoped that Carter did. It worries me when Carter admits she doesn't know what something is. Nevertheless, as always, she got her brain in gear and figured it out. Teal'c tracked the power source.
Cut the cord and destroy it. Simple, almost neat and we can go back to business as usual. I sure hope the General locks out those coordinates from the dialing computer.
Nah....not again. NO. This is not a play toy. This is something dangerous. I can't believe them. My best hope was the General. I understand why they want to do what they want to do and even why Hammond agreed. I'm just not happy about it. I just couldn't believe that a career military man like Hammond wouldn't just blow the thing up.
Carter took the lead. Smart girl...talked to me, just let Hammond overhear her argument and decide for himself. She did the brief, logical speech and she did believe it would be safe.
I did the only thing I could do. I got ready to sever the power source. What I should have done was anticipated its next move. I should have noticed the shift in the focus of the camera from Sam to me. I should have seen that it knew what I was up to with the cutters.
I couldn't see what was happening. Hammond called her name. No response. I called her name. Again no response. I cut the cord. That should have made it power down. However, it's never that simple-never for SG-1; never for me.
I walked into the infirmary, staying out of Doc's way. I melted into the background, not wanting to be sent away. Silent prayers ran through my head. When Janet called me forward I said, "What? What is it?" I knew I didn't want to know the answer.
Carter's my 2IC, my friend and more. The thought of that, that whatever in her, controlling her, filled me with anger, rage, and even fear. I shoved it down deep. I pushed it where I keep those other feelings about Sam that I don't deal with or talk about.
I stayed with her. Daniel and General Hammond and Teal'c, they met with the Doc. I needed the time to wrestle in my feelings. I watched her lying there. She was breathing but she was infested with some alien life form. God, why you Carter? Why again have they taken you?
I just stood there looking at her, my hands jammed in my pockets to keep me from reaching out and taking her hand, reaching out and touching her. The guards arriving snapped me from my self-pity. I knew that Teal'c had done what I had done by second nature. Had her watched, not as Sam but as an alien invader.
Her eyes opened. It wasn't Carter. I know every look Carter has and this isn't anywhere close to one of hers. She mimicked the mock salute I had made in the briefing room. It wanted me to know whom it was, just in case we hadn't figured it out. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Those eyes, blue pools of deep understanding, kindness and intelligence, now cold, just staring at me, burning holes in my soul.
I can't believe that Janet wanted to talk to it. What is it with women and talking?
All I wanted was it out of SAM...and I wanted it out NOW.
God, I had forgotten how close Janet and Sam are. How could I have not seen that it was tearing her apart? Her voice broke as she told me that she didn't know how to get it out of Sam.
I turned to the General in the observation area. I asked the question that had to be asked even thought I knew the answer. There would be no help from our allies. Still I asked.
Later, Sgt. Siler, good man, gave us some answers. At least we knew now how it had gotten into Sam.
I didn't want to blame Daniel. Ultimately, it's my responsibility and my fault. I knew that he knew what part he had played in it all. Though, General Hammond was probably blaming himself for not letting me blow the MALP nest. I should have argued, made a better case. Still.... Daniel. Teal'c said what I couldn't say.
Poor Daniel, the guilt, the pain. We all cared for Sam, each in our own way. Daniel's love for Sam was evident by his pain. He needed time and solitude to come to terms. So did I but I didn't have the luxury of seeking it now.
The voice from the synthesizer was so artificial.
Memories of me, I wonder which? I was incensed. I didn't want some alien digging through Carter's mind.
It wasn't Sam. My anger got the best of me. IT WASN'T SAM. We won't go down that road. I had to see things clearly. This was an alien talking to me, not Sam.
Even Doc knew the truth.
The entity played on my feelings for Carter. Something it found in Carter's brain. Something seen but not noticed by others. The pieces were falling into place. Carter was chosen to stop me from destroying it.
It knew I'd pulled the switches in the gateroom. I was the one that wanted to destroy it in the MALP room. I was the one to cut the cord. I was the threat to its existence. I was the one it had to stop.
The challenge was there.
Would I kill it if it meant destroying what was left of Sam?
Some briefings are harder than others are. This was one of the hardest. I had already decided what had to be done. I had decided that if Sam's body had to die-to kill the entity-I would be the one to do it. If she died, so would I. The guilt of being the one to do it had to be mine.
No one else should have to carry that.
Her death would be just one more guilt to add to what I felt for her being chosen in order to stop me. I was just sitting there. Doc spoke, then Hammond, Teal'c, then Daniel.
I fidgeted rubbing my eyes. The emotions were coming at me in waves. I knew that Hammond could see what was happening. He let me choose when and if I wanted to participate. I gathered those emotions and shoved them deeper and deeper until I had some sense of control.
I remember Hammond cutting off one of Daniel's ideas. Got to give it to Daniel. He never gives up. He wanted to give it one more try. He wanted to try to talk it into leaving Sam. Why not? Why not give him some sense of trying to save her?
They all left. I saw Hammond looking at me, moving closer. I knew what he was going to say. I was just barely in control. He knew that, too. I gave the only answers that I could, the correct military ones.
I figured out long ago that he'd realized I felt more for Carter than I should. His concern for me was genuine. He understood why I said what I did and why I would do what I had to do.
I slapped the folder against my leg as I left trying to feel something, anything. A man that cannot feel cannot decide the fate of others. A friend told me that once and I believe her.
Daniel was going to talk to the entity. I wasn't sure what it would do. Teal'c brought me a Zat gun. I slide it under my jacket and into the waistband of my fatigues. The guards resumed their positions.
I stayed in the background as Daniel spoke. I t looked at me when it talked about us not being able to extract it. It knew that I was its counterpart-it's opposite number.
It offered Daniel a deal, information in exchange for a chance to continue. Daniel wanted Sam back too. No information was more valuable than Sam was. A lesson he was learning at a very high price.
I grew a bit restless. I knew this was going nowhere. I also knew that Daniel needed to try. If I did have to destroy Sam's body to kill this thing, his healing would be easier knowing he had done everything he could to save her.
Daniel struggled with what had happened when we sent the MALP through. I realized that I was dealing with a soldier on a suicide mission.
I spoke out.
Daniel didn't understand.
Hammond would.
This was soldier to soldier now.
I'd found out what was valued as it had found what I valued. The preservation of its world was worth its individual existence. My mouth and brain engaged simultaneously.
My emotions welled up. Anger, pain, I wanted it to feel loss like I was feeling.
"LEAVE HER"
Leave my Carter or I'll destroy your world. I will wreck havoc there as you can't imagine if you don't.
It knew me, my file. It knew what I'd done, what I was capable of doing.
It had taken Sam, used her as a hostage. This was personal. It had miscalculated.
I was measured in my tones.
Hammond backed me up.
The continued existence of its world for Carter.
When it bolted, I had to give it an opportunity to act.
"STAND DOWN." I didn't want the entity hurting the guards or them shooting it.
If it came down to that, well, that was my responsibility.
I shot Carter once. We'd all taken Zat shots before. I prayed it would be enough.
The anger, the hatred in Carter's eyes. It was not Carter. I kept telling myself it was NOT CARTER. It's not the woman you love.
Again I shot. Carter's body slumped to the floor.
Doc and I moved towards her.
Doc's eyes looked up at me. There was nothing I could do. There was nothing I could say. I had just killed Sam; my love, and her best friend.
I sat on the stool and played with a pencil. Sam's body was on life support. The monitors measuring vital signs created by machines.
I couldn't even look at her. She had so much to live for. There was so much I wanted to tell her.
"Living will." We all had them. Each of ours was a bit different. I knew why Janet was there. I heard her voice breaking, her heart breaking. I wasn't ready to let Sam go. I needed more time. I wasn't sure why, just that I did.
I did know that each of us would need time to say goodbye before Janet turned everything off. I knew at that moment that I would spare her that. When the time came, I would shut it down. If it had to be done, I'd be the one to do it. I had already killed her. Turning off the machines would just be the final act of what I had started when I Zatted her the second time.
Daniel and Teal'c had been waiting until Doc talked to me. I couldn't concentrate on what Daniel was saying. I just wasn't ready to say goodbye with so much left unsaid.
"SG1 TO THE MALP ROOM!"
It cut through everything I was thinking and feeling.
How dare it survive and Sam not!
I wanted to kill. "Let's blow it!"
Daniel was grasping at air. I knew I'd shot her twice. I knew she was gone. Daniel didn't give up until I saw what he was showing me, telling me. I struggled to comprehend. Sometimes I can be pretty dense.
I'd threatened its world. It was all I could think to do. Hurt it as it had hurt me. Take from it something it loved for having taken Sam.
This was a decision I needed help with; Hammond was at least somewhat more removed from the emotion of this than I was.
"Get me Hammond!"
After checking the wave in the MALP room and detecting it was Sam, Doc rigged up a circuit.
Nest to Sam?
It was up to Sam to use it.
Teal'c, as always, remained in control and ready with his Zat gun.
Hammond looked at me. I was at a lost, too much was happening. Teal'c was right. We had been deceived several times. As for this "procedure", might as well try. What the hell, nothing could be worse that doing nothing.
I couldn't watch Sam in convulsions.
I looked elsewhere, anywhere but at Sam.
Then it was over.
She moaned. I let out the breath I had been holding.
Doc smiled.
I moved towards her.
No guarantees scared that I would find less than my Carter. I was scared that the Carter that we knew was gone.
She was there. She knew me. Our eyes met, looks speaking more than words could. Feelings raged to the surface in me. I wanted so much to reach out and touch her. I couldn't.
"I was shouting for you to hear."
"We heard."
Well, Daniel heard. Hammond had. I had to have it spelled out to me. Part of that is that I lack the level of intelligence of Daniel. Part of it was because we had been fooled before and part because of the thought of Sam caught in a memory mainframe was too much for me to handle.
I touched the bed, tapped it.
It was the only contact I dare make for fear of pulling her into my arms and never letting her go.
Again, someone I loved suffered because of his or her association with me. Carter was chosen in an attempt to control me.
People I get close to get hurt.
Some things never change.
Later, much later as Carter was laying in the Infirmary recovering, we talked. Or rather, Carter talked while I just felt a weird mix of elation about her surviving and guilt that I could bring myself to have killed her.
She had been there, seen all, heard all.
She understood. How? I don't know. I surely didn't, not all of it.
She'd tried to communicate with her eyes; let me know that she understood. She had wanted me to know that she had agreed with what I had to do.
She said she was screaming her forgiveness knowing that I would blame myself.
In the MALP room, she was screaming again for me, for SG-1, for us to help her and we did. Well, Daniel did.
One of the reasons that SG-1 works so well is how we work as a Team. Teal'c traced the power source in the MALP room. Daniel gleamed that she was in the memory mainframe nest. Carter hung in there and survived until we could get out act together...no thanks to me.
Me? I, well, I followed my instincts. Find the enemies weakness and exploit it.
It had worked this time. I had been able to turn the tables on it...bringing to the table something it valued more than I valued Carter; I am ashamed to say.
But what was the cost?
What long-term effects is this going to have on Sam? To myself? To whatever Carter and I might someday decide to pursue?
If you enjoyed this story,please send feedback to Queen Annae
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Entity Prologue - Jack's POV
by Queen AnnaeSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis