Outlet
Outlet
by PZ
Title: Outlet
Author: PZ
Email: pzstories@hotmail.com
Category: POV
Season: Season 5
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary: There are times where you just have to to get away from work. Sam's POV.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
OUTLET
No day on the mountain is 'just another day'. Sometimes I can see the hypnotic beauty of an 'everyday' kind of day. Sometimes I dream of just an ordinary day. Things just get a little too hectic sometimes, even by the extraordinary standards of the SGC. In the last three months, I've had concussion twice, been abducted by Ba'al's Jaffa once, lost my memory once, yada, yada... do I have to continue?
What's wrong with a day's shopping; doing a spot of painting; weeding the yard; fixing the car? Things that ordinary people do, things I'd like to do once in a while.
I need to get out of here. I need to pretend that I live an ordinary life, see what happens outside this damn mountain. Sometimes the weight of the stone above my head feels like it's crushing the life out of me.
The trouble is, I don't think the rest of my team would agree. All three of them live for this life. I suppose I do too, but right now I need a way out of here, at least for one day.
I was heading down the corridor for yet another briefing. How many damn briefing's can you have? A voice snapped me out of my reverie.
'Carter, anybody home?' said Colonel Jack O'Neill in those drawling vowels he uses, a smirk right across his face.
I wasn't in the mood for jocularity, and he really managed to jangle my nerves.
'Yes, sir,' I snapped back without slowing down my progress.
He had caught up with me and he was jogging backwards in front, his long limbs easily keeping pace. I couldn't miss the raised eyebrow and slight pout of his lips.
'Wrong time of the month, Carter?' he quipped.
Sometimes, just sometimes, my CO's inability to say anything without making a joke, quip, gag or whatever, really gets on my nerves. But I didn't let him have it full blast, I just continued the cool, efficient approach. I just knew that it would get to him more. He loves to get into a full blown fight and there was no way I was going to give him the satisfaction.
'No, sir'.
... and I speeded up my walk until he couldn't continue his ridiculous backwards trot without serious danger of tripping flat on his ass. The picture made me smile internally though I didn't show it on the outside.
By the time he'd caught up with me again, we had reached the briefing room. Daniel and Teal'c were already sat at the large polished table and as we entered I just caught sight of Colonel O'Neill raise an eyebrow at them, nod in my direction and grimace. I gathered enough of Daniel's reaction to know that he understood the warning and I saw him grimace back. I think that was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. Me being the proverbial camel. I whirled round on my heels so fast that the Colonel all but walked smack into me.
'Have you got a problem, Colonel? I saw the snide little look between you and Daniel. If you have something to say, say it to my face, or are you afraid that you might not like the response?' I snapped in voice that dripped acid.
Ok, ok, I know that I went just a little too far, well maybe a lot too far, but I just couldn't stop it before it slipped out of my mouth.
I saw Colonel O'Neill's eyes open just a little wider in surprise before I heard a cough behind me.
'Major Carter; Is there a problem here that I should know about?' said General Hammond.
Damn, Damn, triple Damn!!. I hadn't seen him hidden behind the open door of a large cupboard!
I decided I had better fix things, quick!
'No, sir. Sorry. It's nothing. Just personal', I stammered, sounding even less convincing.
I saw his eyes narrow as he contemplated my answer, but then with a faint shrug he turned to Daniel and asked him to start the brief. I'll bet he wrote the whole scene off as a female thing!
The briefing washed over me. The mission was purely archaeological and we weren't expecting to find anything of any scientific or military interest at all, so I just switched off and let Daniel's words flow over my slightly conscious mind. When I finally snapped out of my daydream, I noticed that the Colonel was watching me, chin resting on hand. If I didn't know better, I'd say there was even a flicker of concern in those liquid brown eyes. He flicked an eyebrow up when he noticed I had surfaced, but I just looked down and shuffled my papers so that when Daniel finished I was ready to make a fast getaway.
I expected to get accosted in the corridor outside the room, but to my relief I managed to get back to my lab without seeing anyone.
It was a little later in the morning when a familiar face appeared at the window of the lab door. It was Doctor Janet Fraiser. I guessed that someone had reported my behaviour to her so she'd come for a little chat. She popped her head round the door and I sighed with resignation.
'Hey, Sam. How are you?' she said.
'I'm fine Janet, so you don't have to start quizzing me. Did Colonel O'Neill report me to you?' I asked tetchily.
'He only said that you were a little out of sorts', said Janet kindly.
'Well, I'm not! And I wish people would stop telling me how I feel. It is not 'the time of the month', nor is it the weather, sunspots or my age.' I ranted, 'Can't a person get a little bit fed up round here without everyone getting on their back?'
'Are you?' asked Janet.
'What?' I snapped.
'Are you fed up?' she said.
All the energy suddenly drained out of me and to my utter disgust, I felt tears pricking at the back of my eyelids. All that rock above my head suddenly seemed very heavy. I felt Janet's arm snake round my shoulders.
'Sam, you've had a really hard time over the last few months and I think a break would do you good. I think it would be a good idea if I checked you out first. Why don't you come down to the infirmary?' she said.
The kindness in her voice was my undoing. Although I'd liked to have snapped back, instead I simply nodded and let her lead me out of my lab and down to the infirmary.
She did all the usual checks and then came and sat next to me as I perched on the edge of the bed.
'There's nothing really wrong, Sam. You are a bit anaemic, but I can give you some iron tablets for that. Your responses are sluggish though and you show all the classic symptoms of exhaustion. How do you feel in yourself?' she said.
I decided it was time to give up fighting how I felt and so I told her. Told her how I felt oppressed by this place, how I needed to do the kind of things ordinary people do. Her hand patted mine comfortingly and when I'd finished, I felt that I had to apologise.
'I'm sorry, Janet. You must think I'm a real whiner,' I said with a sigh.
'No I don't,' she said firmly, 'I do think that you're tired and that you've put up with more these last few months than most people have to deal with in a lifetime. I'm going to recommend to General Hammond that you have a break.'
She stopped me before I had time to protest, but I had to have my say.
'I feel pathetic, Janet. The rest of the guys don't seem to be affected. I don't want Colonel O'Neill to see me as the weak link in the team,' I said, 'They've all been through the same as me, but they seem to be coping fine'.
'And how do you know it's not affecting them?' she asked.
I looked at her doubtfully. 'Well they all seem just the same as normal', I said.
'Would it help you to know that another member of SG1 has been to me because they can't sleep. I've been helping them for a couple of weeks,' she said cryptically.
I looked at her amazed.
'Who?' I asked.
Janet shook her head.
'You know better than that. I can't say. Patient confidentiality! Just be aware that you weren't the first to need my help,' she said.
I felt a sigh escape me as though a relief valve had been opened. I've always had this thing about not being the weakest link in a chain. Guess it goes with the territory when you're a woman in the male dominated military world. Perhaps being brought up by an air force General also has something to do with it.
'What about Colonel O'Neill?' I asked.
'I'll tell him. Now, I want you to go home straight away. Burn off a little of that excess adrenaline and then put your feet up. Watch a daytime soap. And, I don't want you back on base for a week. I'll see you after that and we'll re-evaluate the situation.' she said.
As I walked back to my lab to get my coat, I felt that strange kind of tingly numbness in my fingers and toes that goes with real bone aching tiredness. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and I wondered if I ought to call a cab instead of driving home. My head was just plain refusing to work anymore. It was as though being given permission to feel like this was enough to open the floodgates. I was so engrossed that I didn't see the Colonel until I walked right into him as he hovered outside the door of my lab. His hands were thrust in his pockets and he had to yank one of them out to balance himself against to wall as I careered into him.
'Hey, Carter,' he said, 'Whatcha' doin'?'
I blinked at him a couple of times. My earlier animosity had dissipated in Janet's infirmary.
'Sorry, sir,' I said calmly, 'And I'm sorry for how I addressed you earlier in the briefing. I was completely out of order'.
'Already forgotten,' he said dismissively, 'Where ya' goin'?'
'Home, Colonel,' I said, 'Doctor's orders'.
He looked concerned and his voice dropped a tone.
'Nothing serious, Major?' he asked.
'No, sir. Janet says I need a rest.'
I caught myself blinking just a little faster than normal and after an involuntary swipe across my eyes, I sagged against the lab door.
'Sorry, sir. I don't know why. Things just seem to be getting on top of me recently', I said quietly.
'Yeah. It's been a tough couple of months'; he surprised me by saying.
'Need a lift home?' he asked, surprising me again.
It had been a while since the whole Zay'tarc thing and that time we spent as Jonah and Thera. We'd never talked about it and I had buried as much as I could at the back of my mind. We'd resumed the jovial CO/2IC relationship that we'd had for a long time, but it was hard to forget that raised eyebrow when I'd called him 'sir' and put the barriers back up as our memories returned under that planet.
That damned eyebrow had asked me a thousand questions with one subtle flutter, and I'd made sure that I'd answered all the questions as I nodded in the affirmative. 'Yes, it is ; sir! Yes, we do have to return to our officially accepted relationship. No, I'm not Thera and you're not Jonah, those people don't exist any more. I'm Major Carter and you're Colonel O'Neill and that's how it has to stay.' He'd accepted it without a word, just a tightening of his shoulders. It's amazing how much you can say with one flicker of an eyebrow and one nod of the head.
Since that time, he had been meticulous in our interaction. Oh, sure, there was the little bit of flirting that went on in all mixed sex teams, but he'd never put him or me in a position where we were alone together. Not once, that I could remember, since that time had the subject been raised again. Janet has told me that it was hard on him when I was infected by that computer based life form and he had to shoot me, but I don't remember that and afterwards he was even more circumspect, if possible.
So, him asking me if I wanted a lift home was a surprise. We would be alone in the car and he would be invading the personal space of my house (the last time he'd done that was when Orin visited)!
Having thought all that, like I said before, I didn't know if I was capable of driving, so I just nodded dumbly, picked up my jacket and stood waiting in the corridor as he went back for his keys.
The feeling of shellshock was increasing and I didn't even see him as he returned and taking my elbow firmly steered me towards the elevator.
The rest of the morning was a blur and only later did I piece it together. He'd put me in his car, driven me home and then made me lie down on the couch. When I woke up, there was a smell of fresh coffee and small sounds coming from the kitchen. I sat up, dazed and disorientated for a short while and then pushing back the blanket that covered me, I headed for those sound of life.
Colonel O'Neill was stood in the kitchen preparing a tray. There was a high vitamin fresh fruit drink and a small but delicious looking chicken salad in a bowl.
'I could kill for a coffee'; I said making him jump.
'Jeez, Carter. You shouldn't sneak up on a soldier like that. You're liable to get shot', he said.
'Sorry, sir,' I said contritely.
He grinned at me and waved towards the table.
'Take a seat, madam. Lunch is ready,' he said and put the tray onto the table with a flourish.
'That looks great,' I said, 'but I could kill for a coffee'.
'Juice first, and then you can have a coffee. Janet said lots of vitamins and minimal stimulants', he said firmly.
'Yes, sir', I said solemnly, my mind taking in that fact that he'd obviously talked to Janet about me but now knowing what to make of it.
He grinned again and pulled out a chair for me. I took the seat and as I sat down, he turned another chair back to front and straddled it, his arms resting on the chair back. I noticed that he'd changed into civilian clothes at some time and he was wearing a plain white tee shirt, chinos and a soft leather jacket.
'So!', he said.
'So?' I questioned.
'So, what do you want to do?' he completed.
I was surprised again and I looked at him speechless, until I finally muttered pathetically, 'I don't understand'.
'We've got a week to get back into fighting fit form', he said succinctly.
Boy, my brain must have been running on half power because I said, 'But you're on a mission tomorrow, sir'.
'Was, Carter. Was!' he said and then looked a little shamefacedly down as though he was studying the floor tiles.
'Doc's put me on a week's leave too. I've been having trouble sleeping for a while, and I need to get back into a normal pattern. So it's SG1 time out,' he looked up at me again, 'We have orders to find some kinda' outlet from that damned mountain'.
'But, Colonel. I thought you loved it,' I said.
'Sure I do, Carter, and so do you. It just gets on top of you sometimes, that's all. Same happens whether you work in an office, play hockey or whatever. Too much of a good thing can spoil it. Doc says we have to vent a bit of energy and do anything that doesn't involve snakes, weird stuff, rocks etc., so I thought we could go to a match this afternoon, then do some fishing, then......'.
'Hold it there. What about doing some shopping or gardening,' I said laughing.
'Ya gotta be kiddin',' he cried.
'Tell you what. We'll have lunch, then we can go to the gym and I'll kick your six in the martial arts room. Winner gets to pick what we do this afternoon.' I said.
And that's how I had the considerable pleasure of seeing my CO stood outside the changing room of a certain smart local shop, clutching a pale blue blouse and blue suede pumps. He looked mortified, but I was already feeling better. We'd pummelled hell out of the punch bags at the gym and then I'd managed to down him in a best of three in unarmed combat on the mat. I mentally thanked dad for all that judo training he'd made me do when I was young and we were travelling from base to base. The colour of my belt was my little secret and the look of astonishment on the Colonel's face as I flipped him on his back was the best tonic I could have had. We'd agreed earlier on no punching and no illegal moves, so really he didn't have a chance!
I'd already booked us seats for the night-time hockey match, not that I'd told him!
He was right, I do love my job, but sometimes you need to get out and live, just a little.
The End.
If you enjoyed this story,please send feedback to PZ
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Outlet
by PZSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis