drunk5
Drunken Thoughts --Sam
by Nikki.H.
TITLE: Drunken Thoughts --Sam
AUTHOR: Nikki.H.
EMAIL: scc@theplanet.net.au
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: 100 days, Shades of Grey
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 3, Sequel to Drunken Thoughts - Daniel amd Jack
RATING: PG-15
CONTENT WARNINGS: m/f
SUMMARY: Sam's thoughts when SG1 goes out one night.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Tonight was meant to be my 'living life to the full' night. Turns out be careful what you wish for and more importantly be carefull you wish for the right person. Tonight was meant to be fun, a night out with the guys, a night out with Jack, showing him I wasn't just some other solider.
But some times fate has a way of dealing with things. We went, I was all geared up, choosing to dress in a skirt instead of the reugular jeans and a low cut top. I was determined to show Jack, just how feminie I was. It worked in more ways then one.
Timmy MacGee was there. My academy crush. He was everything when I was in the squad, every female soilder loved him, the guys thought he was the coolest thing and everyone looked up to him. He was the kind of guy your mum loved,the kinda guy that your dad dragged out the back to talk football and male macho things. Timmy MacGee was in my eyes a God, one that i'd do anything for. That is before I was old and sensiable enough to see through.
Yeah, well that's what I told myself when I found out he was married.
SO naturally when he was there at the bar, I felt the old butterflies come back into my stomach. I thought maybe I had finally gotten over Jack and now that Timmy was now a single man I could find myself someone to love. How was I to know that he was using me?
How was I know that everytime he ran his hands up and down my body he was really only doing it for a cheap kick? He wanted sex, there and now, just so that the hole in his heart that his wife had left, could be filled for one brief moment.
But like I said as he was the kinda guy you'd do anything for. SO I fell for his charm, revelling in the touches I had long forgotten, danced in the sudecutive dance of promise and just the general fact that for that little moment I was the single most important person in the world and that I was sexy.
I didn't understand why Jack went storming out or why Janet told me I was selfish, or why my best friends in the world couldn't understand that I just wanted to forget about saving the world and being miss perfect for just one night. I wanted to be dark, mysterious and sexy. Not a geeky scientist, not a little good soilder that had a crush on her CO.
Now I see that they where only trying to save me from what was to come, but even they didn't see what was to really come, nor could they understand it. So when they left the bar I felt disapointed, but I was kissing a man a had wanted for years when I was in the academy and I believed all the promises and sweet things he said.
So when he pulled me towards his car I didn't think about the reality of the situation. I was going to go with a stranger, his agenda clear that he wanted to do more than talk, but being doppey and giggly, drunk and feeling sexy I climbed in his car and we drove.
Where we ended up I did not know. But it was cold and dark and there was a forest behind us. Perhaps it was the alchol or the fact that I felt wanted that made me let go, but I know it was when he threw my Jacket at me and called it a night that reality hit me. Hard.
"Don't call me, It'll just make things ackward."
He had said and had almost but kicked me out of the car and drove off, leaving me to feel cold and alone in the middle of a freeway with only my jacket and torn skirt to protect me from the winter wind.
I don't know how long I walk or how far but when I finally found a pay phone I was in tears. I had made the biggest most irrisponisble mistake in my life and not me or anyone else could fix that. So I ran Daniel, hopping he would be home and didn't hate me as much as I hated myself, and I broke down over his answermechine phone. A tough, supossedly smart woman was crying into a pay phone sounding like a teenager in the middle of a dark desperted forest.
I eventally stopped crying and rang Jack, feeling stupid and ashamed, but feeling like he was all I had left. Teal'c had answered the phone and I was relieved, but I could hear Jack in the backround.
"Tell her to screw herself."
And I knew at that instant I was alone. I had ruined everything I had and hurt the man I thought I had loved for 4 years. I hung up, ashamed and wanting to just run away from everyone and disapear.
Once again. Be careful what you wish for.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Nikki H.
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