When You Wake
by Nikki H
TITLE: When You Wake
AUTHOR: Nikki H
EMAIL: scc@theplanet.net.au
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: Shades of Grey
SEASON / SEQUEL: Sequel to Drunken thoughts and Morning After
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: m/f
SUMMARY: Just what did happen on that night?
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Daniel
As soon as I had gotten off the phone with Janet I was conshumed with worry. I rang Sams mobile until my ear hurt, I paged her endlessly and I even rang her at the base. No one had seen her since last night.
Giving up on pacing I went and had a shower, hoping that all the nights bad memories would wash away and my troubles go with it. Guess I didn't scrub hard enough. Becasue when I came back into the lounge room, 4 hours later after having tossed and turned for 3 hours, I saw the mechine blinking again.
Diving for the phone, I had hoped it to be Sam or any news of her. In a perfect world she would be at Jacks, having talked everything out, then we would all be invited for dinner at Jacks house. Or maybe she had come to her senses and fallen asleep at Janet's house, not knowing that Janet was at her house, or maybe she fell asleep at Timmys house and all they had shared was coffee??? I didn't care as long as Sam was OK.
"Daniel Jackson, this is Teal'c. You must get to the hospital as soon as possiable. It is Major Carter. The accident this morning? I think It is best if you come straight away."
I stared unmoving at the mechine as it blinked and switched off. What? I couldn't fathom it. I pinched myself hoping I was dreaming, a horriable, sick twisted dream and that when I woke up Sam would be here and she would laugh and tossle my hair.
But I wasn't dreaming and as I raced to the hospital I was almost a reck. I couldn't believe what had happend. These kinda things only happened on soapy shows and on movies, not real life. Not to people I know. Not to my best friend that I turned away last night.
Seeing Jack holding his head between his hand and bloodshot eyes made it all that much more realistic and as I looked at Janet, I saw tears in her eyes. Teal'c was standing over them, his own face showing discomfort and remorse. I could feel my lip quivering as I got closer and gently touched Janets shoulder. Janet turned slowly and for the first time I saw not the strong doctor, not the caring, sesitive friend, but a woman who was scared and I wrapped my arms around her.
The doctor arrived and started to tell us about Sam's condition. The whole time he talked I felt like jumping up and down screaming 'that's my best friend your talking about. She's not some other bimbo that just got hit by a car'. But I bit my lip and watched Jack as he started to argue about her condition. It was as if Jack thought the more he yelled the more the doctor would spring to life and say 'alright, you've proved your case, I'll just go wave my wand and she'll be cured'.
Teal'c calmed Jack down, or rather threatend to beat the 'Spacnatar' out of him. Jack looked rather confused at Teal'cs slip of language, but nodded, seeing the glare in his eye and sat down, wringing his hand together and muttering to himself.
I felt Janet tremble as the doctor assesed that he didn't think she had much chance of survival and the hit had been severe. But I closed my hands around Janets and she looked at me relieved. The doctor left us to go in and see her alone and I stood still, not wanting to go in and see her. It would make it real then and I wasn't ready for it.
"Sam?"
Jack had squeaked and we all held our breaths as we looked at her through the window of the ICU room. She would of been as pale as the sheets if she wasn't covered in bruises and bandages and cuts. Tubes and wires spewed from her face and the sound of the heart moniture made me shudder.
"Will she die?"
I asked, sitting down oppisite Jack and being carefull not to touch any of the tubes. I felt sick as Jack watched her, and I saw the tears well in the older mans eyes. Her lips looked a deathly shade of purple and I closed my eyes as every now and then the heart moniture would beep faster before returning back to normal speed.
It was as if her body was getting ready for an eternal sleep. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. She was my best friend and I swore to myself that I would always hold the people dearest to me tightly, so that nothing happened to them. But I had failed her, and in one night when I gave up on her, I lost her.
"She's not going to die Daniel."
I heard Jack say sharply. I opened my eyes at the forgotten question and saw him glaring at me. He would be the last person in the world to give up on her, and he looked at me as if to say 'how dare you give up'. I nodded and watched as his finger found hers and he delicatly kissed her fingers.
I felt the lump in my throat well as he looked at her, still nursing her hand gently in his hand and pulled back a blood soaked lock of hair. Why her? I wondered. Why did this have to happen to her? Now I only see that she wasn't in the wrong last night, and it hurts that because we where too stubbourn we had to find out like this. But there wasn't anything any of us could do. Even as the days started to turn into nights, each of us began to realise the more she was asleep, the more chance that she might never come out of it. I knew Jack was hurting, that he blamed himself and was retreating further and further into a dark place inside himself. I could tell by the way he refused to leave her side, and the nurses gave up a long time ago asking him to leave, instead they let him sleep in the bed beside her. I could also tell that he was blaming himself, because at night, when he thought we had all left, he would pray and tell her everything was going to be ok and that he was going to make it up to her.
It wasn't until the day that General Hammond requested our assitance with a Tollan exchange that we realised that Sam might never wake up. It had been 3 weeks since that night, and no matter how long we stayed with her, it wasn't going to make her wake up any faster.
So we agreed. Although after a 3 hour debate between the General and Jack, he finally gave in. But he demanded that he would not be gone any longer that 2 days. So it was arranged. We would go to the Tollan home world to organise an exchange and be back in 48 hours. Jack also put up a protest when the General assinged a new scientists to take Sam's place. Not that she could do that, no one could fill Sam's shoes. But SG-1 was one short and we did need a forth, so Anna Whitehall would join us for the one mission.
I can't describe the feeling of loss that we all felt as we suited up for the mission. Jack refused to talk unless absolute nessarry and walked around with a scowl on his face, his eyes empty. I kept looking around, expecting Sam to run through the door and apologise for being late, and even Teal'c looked miserable. So when we stepped through the gate we pushed past the empty feelings and focused on the job at hand.
We wern't to know what would happen when we left.
Jack.
I don't know how long I sat there. But as Daniel came in I knew it had been a long time. I acknowledged him with a single nod of my head before I turned back to look at Sam's motionless body.
It wasn't fair. Am I some kind of jinx. Why is it that all of the people I love, yes love, have to leave me? Is it me? I must be, becasue anyone I cared deeply about something bad happens to them. Charlie wasn't the first and to my regret, wasn't the last to leave me feeling like I died with them.
But Sam. Even though I had tried so damn hard not to get close. Tried to think of her as just another soldier with a pretty face, but she was so much more than that and as the years grew by, the closer I got to her and the more I fell in love with her. That's why I used to get so angry at her, becasue I didn't want to love her, I knew deep down that It was wrong and that some one as special as Sam deserved better, deserved a life that I could not give her, deserved the chance to live a long and happy life. I swear I must of been evil in my last life to deserve this Karma.
It's been 3 weeks and I don't know how much longer I can sit here and try and hold it together. I can feel the tears burning in my eyes, tears that needed to be shed. But I couldn't and I wouldn't. Sam needed me to be strong for her, it was the last thing I could do. I was the only thing I knew how to do. To lock It all up and make it all go away. If only she could just give me a sign that she was still there, that I wasn't depending on a false hope.
My eyes roam her body. Cut's and bruises blanketed her body, her face a ghostly pale and her once red lips, a purply blue tinge to them. I felt the lump rise as I remember the smile on her face before I stormed out of the bar acting like a spoilt child. I was so stupid! As much as It hurt to see her with another guy, It hurt a thousand times worse than seeing her lying comatose.
Please wake up. I pled. Please, I swear I will make it right, I will look after you, I will watch over your every move, I will give up my own life if it meant you would just open your eyes, smile at me and say i'd be Ok.
But she hasn't moved. Not at all. I made sure I didn't miss anything, not a flinch, not a flutter of an eyelid, nothing. And although my own eyes beg to close, I wont. I wont make another mistake ever again.Well......not intentionly.
"Sam, I want you to know that I know your tierd, and I know that we've been the biggest bunch of dickheads, but please. I promise I will do everything in my power if you just open them eyes and say hello. Please?"
But my words fall on deaf ears and I am left to watch her sleep. The days turn again, until one day General Hammond almost but ordered me to go to the Tollan world. I didn't give a rats ass about an exchange, I didn't care If it was the end of the world. I was not going to move unless Sam was up and coming with us.
But after 3 hours I lost the debate and I was made to go. I couldn't believe they where shipping me off on some stupid mission that hardly required my assistance, and to add the insult, they give me a replacement. I don't want some brunette telling me that Major Carter was going to be Ok. Didn't want some other Major telling me the technobable that was supposed to be spewing from Sam's mouth. She wasn't Sam and no one else, no matter how alternate they where, was going to replace her. No now, not ever.
But I couldn't do anything. Choiceless, that what I was. So I went, was ever the good little solider, did my duty and demanded I would be back in 48 hours. I didn't care if there was no stargate, I would litterally walk back to earth if I had too.
So what happens the minute I leave? Fate it seem's, has a knack of pissing me off!
* * * * * * *
Janet
So much for seizing the day. If anyone ever says that too you, run. Run away, or send them a dirty look. Never take adivce from some one. I shake my head as I do the rounds in the infirmary. I couldn't take my mind of Sam. I had spent all of the last 3 weeks going inbetween the hospital, home and the infirmary. Each time I saw her I felt guilt in my cheast. It hit me when I saw Jack sitting by her side, holding her hand and watching her like a hawk. It even hit me as I would cheak her medical file and see 'no change'.
I'm not stupid, I know what happens when a pacient has spent 3 weeks in a coma, seen injurys half the size of hers kill someone. I knew the costs of what was happening to her. But it didn't stop me from hoping against all hope that she would be ok. This was Sam, she was a trooper, she could survive anything.
>From the day I walked into the room and saw her there, to yesterday when Cassie visted her, I felt like I was losing a part of me. It killed me that she felt like she wasn't need and that she was alone, when almost everyone who knew her was suffering in their own small way. >From Jack, to the General to even the airmen and techinicans at the base. Everyone missed her.
I just wish she could see what she's missing. Wish she could wake up and see what everyone else saw. But she can't, nor will she if she dosn't find some way back to us. I look at my watch to see how long SG-1 been gone. I can't help but worry that one of them is going to tumble through the gate looking like a rag doll.
"Dr, Do you mind if I step out for a breather?" I turn to one of the nurses and nod, egnoring the sympathising look she's giving me. I'm so sick to death of people looking at me like that. Don't they realises that it makes it worse when someone is giving you a 'oh, too bad' look. It only surves in irritating me. "Dr, are you alright?" She querries.
I watch the nurse go and turn to my desk. Well it used to be until I lost sight of it with all the paper work that's piled ontop of it. I see a frame of SG-1 sitting in a red frame that Cassie had made me. The 4 of them had their hands wound around each other and where all smiling and laughing. Even Teal'c was smiling, his dark eyes dancing as they did when he told a jaffa joke. Sam eyes where also dancing with laughter as where Daniel's and Jacks, the backround displaying a christmas tree.
I don't know what's going to happen if Sam never wakes up. I have put off the dealing with the fact that she'll never wake up till now. I already can feel a pang in my cheast that I felt the day I saw her in the ICU room. It was so errie how quite it was, how that the only sound that could be heart was her heart moniture and that we all stood entraced like it was some kind of spell.
A week had gone by with no change, than two and then three. It's now bordering on four and I don't know how much longer we can sit around hoping she'll wake up. Maybe we shouldn't anymore. Maybe we should just acpet that one of our dearest, most loved best friend has died and there's nothing, not the tokra nor the Tollan can do to bring her back.
I let out a sob and burry my head in my arms. It's not fair. Why her? You'd think after everything she'd done, everything she gave, she would at least be allowed to live a long and happy life. Not one where every breath she took was the only thing that held her to this earth, and every breath she missed brung her closer to deaths door.
"Excuse me, Dr Fraiser?" I sit up straight as I suddenly hear a airmen knocking on the door. I wipe the tears from my face angrily and walk out of my office, feeling slightly mad that I didn't even get 5 mintues alone to grieve. "Dr.....It's Major Carter." He gasped. His face was white, and his cheast rose and fell as if he'd been running for miles. I looked at him curiously and he waved me to come with him straight away.
Maybe that fatefull day had come.......
<><><><><><<<><
Sam
"Captain Carter reporting for duty, Sir!"
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"It was a hounour serving with you Sir."
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"Sir, are you Ok?"
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"Welcome home Sir."
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"Is this a promblem?"
"No."
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"You love him Samantha."
"Martouf-"
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"Is there some one else?"
"Narim, It's complicated..."
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"Tell her to screw herself!"
"NO!"
Sam gasped as her eyes flew open and she gulped in fresh air. Her heat beat widly against her cheast and she felt a pain roar through her leg. A loud sound rang through her ears and her eyes began to focus on a beeping moniture. Gulping, Sam ripped the heat moniture cord from her cheast and threw it down.
The needle conected to her arm began to pulse and throb and Sam pulled at it, bitting her lip as she renched it out. She looked around the dark hospital room. The curtains where drawn tight and the only source of light was the flickering over head light by the door. Suddenly a airmen opened the door and walked in. Seeing Sam sitting up and trying to get out of bed, he dropped his newspaper and ran over to her.
"Your awake." He said surprised.
"I am." Sam said feeling anger boil in her viens. She looked around confused. "Where is everyone?" She asked, feeling alone and slightly angry that she didn't have anyone vist her other than the airmen. "Why am I here?" She demanded.
The airmen rose his hands in protest. "Everyone?" He asked, almost surprised by the question and he looked around nervously. "Who? I havn't seen anyone since I came on Shift." He answered. "As for why your here.....maybe I should get a doctor for your qestions."
"No. Tell me how long have I been here?" Sam asked looking around and running a bandaged hand through her hair. She looked down at her body seeing the bandages and bruised skin.
The airmen back up slightly. "I'm not sure miss. I only came on yesterday. They told me you'd been in a coma, so probably a couple of weeks."
"Weeks?" Sam squealed. She closed her eyes as a dizzy spell ran through her and she shook her head. The airmen back up to door and mumbled that he would find help. But Sam was listening. Feeling the urge to get away from this cramped room, she slid onto the cold marble. The cold stung her feet as she made her way across the floor, pulling out wires and attachment from her body. "Have to get away." She mumbled and went to a closet. It was empty, did they think she would never wake up? Sam thought angrily.
The anger made her blood rush faster and she felt engery rise from with in her. Opening the door she saw a pregnant woman leaving the room opposite her, waddling as she rocked from side to side with the large stomach. Sam looked around the corridor and on seeing no one she ducked into the room and towards the closet.
A bag of oversized clothes hung from the closet and Sam quickly but gently dressed in a large dress, dumping her hosptial gown to the side. Her arms and legs ached as she worked and Sam quickly stuffed a pillow under the dress and then put a jacket over the top to cover her bruised arms.
Stepping out of the corridor she saw the Doctor and the airman racing up the hallway and she turned around, hidding her face and waddling like the woman had before.
"Excuse me Ma'am." The doctor said gently walking around her. Sam nodded and hid her face, before waddling back down the hall. As soon as she reached the elevator she let out a breath.
Looking in the mirror she saw how ghostly her face looked. She felt tears prick her eyes. How could they forget me? How could they just go off and leave me? I thought I was at least something. Sam thought miserably. The elevator doors clinked open and she walked towards the door. A young man opened the door for her and she smiled at him and left the hospital.
As soon as she reached the car park, she was aloss at what to do. She didn't have a car or any money. Where was she going to go. Suddenly she remembered that her brother was going away for 3 months and had left her the house keys incase she needed anything.
"Woah Missy, what are you doing out here?"
Sam spun around as a tall blonde headed man stood behind her. Sam smiled and patted her stomach. "Oh, just a false alarm. My husband was meant to be here....but you know." She said looking about as if she was searching for him.
"What a basdard." Then man said crossly."Here, why don't a give you a lift, a woman in your condistion shouldn't be about like this. Here." He said extending his hand. "My girlfriend is one of the nurses and she is working back late, so I have some time to kill."He guided her towards a car and opened it up. "It's ok, I wont try anything on you." He said assuringly smiling at her.
Sam smiled and took his hand as he helped her up. She bit her lip as she sat down and her ribs began to hurt, reajusting her postion she tried again. THe man looked at her and smiled before climbing into the car. He smiled and told her that he had 4 sisters that had all been pregnant, so he was used to playing 'taxi driver'. Sam smiled and gave him her address, thinking how nice it was to finally meet some one that was so nice, without expecting anything in return.
Teal'c
As soon as We stepped onto the Tollan world I felt something in my stomach unsettle, and it wasn't just my simbiot. We greeted the Tollan people and where soon told to come and share a feast of freindship with them.
Several times Narim would look at the new replacement for Sam and would question her with his eyes, but then said nothing. It wasn't until after dinner that the Tollan questioned Jack on Sam's wareabouts. This did not turn out how we expected. Jack threw his cup down and stormed out of the room, startling all of the guest at the table and Daniel had to explain to the Tollan what had happened to Sam and why Jack was so upset. Of course he left out certain details and cut corners, but soon everyone was nodding their heads understandingly and telling us that they hopped Sam would return to full health again.
It wasn't much longer after that, that Jack and 'the replacement' as she'd been labled, got into a fight. She questioned Jack's motives and said that Sam had clouded his judement and that not matter how good Sam was, he should get over it becasue she was dead and there was nothing he could do.
I have seen many fights and I have seen Jack slay many serpant Gaurds and as O'Neill eyes narrowed on her, both Daniel and I sprung into action and pulled Jack away before he killed Captin Whitehall. We knew he was capable of it and she only taughted him as we dragged him away, egnoring his cursing and promise for revenge.
All went well in the exchange department and we left the Tollan world, pruposly keeping Jack in front and I inbetween the two. But as soon as we stepped back onto earth I got the unsettling feeling again. Captin Whitehall emidently went off to tell the General about Jack's behaviour, but to our surprise the minute she opened her mouth the General told her to shut it.
"SG-1. I have.....some news."
"What's wrong with Sam?" Jack asked straight away, dumping his gear to the side and looking at Janet who refused to meet either of our eyes. I readied myself for the new that Major Carter had died while we where gone and prepared myself for however O'Neill might react. But What I wasn't prepared for was this.
"She's Awake."
Jack smiled and grinned. "That's great. See Danny I told you she'd be fine. Can we see her?" Jack asked, looking like an excitted child in a candy store. But the General's face fell remained unemtional and he looked to Jannet.
Janet stepped up and gulped. "But she's gone missing."
"Missing? How can she go missing?" Daniel asked looking at Janet as if she had grown two heads.
"We cannot understand it ourselves. The airmen on duty said he walked in to find her awake, sitting up. He said she was rather upset and wanted to know where everyone was and he said he'd go get the doctor."Janet paused and then looked up again, her eyes red raw as if she'd been crying. "He came back to find her gone and all her money and clothes are gone from her apartment."
Jack stepped forward, a frown on his face. "How can a woman, who's been in a coma for 3 weeks get up and walk out of a hospital without ANYONE noticing!!" Jack yelled pacing back and forth. "We shouldn't have left, we should of stayed there and waited."
"There's more." The General said fimrly. "I got a letter with all her clerance cards, I.D and a letter of regisgnation. She is no longer apart of the airforce, there for we have no legal juristiction to grab her and drag her back.She's now a civillian."
"Juristiction my ass!" Jack yelled. "I don't give a damn, When I find her she'll come back, so don't give me any of that legal crap!" Jack finished and stormed out of the room. THe General called after him, but Jack egnored it and ran off. Daniel and I dropped our gear and without word, went and chased after him.
But we didn't even know where to start looking.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Nikki H