The Woman In Sam
by Mor
TITLE: The Woman In Sam
AUTHOR: Mor
EMAIL: mor_ag2001@msn.com
CATEGORY: Romance, Angst
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SPOILERS: none
SEASON / SEQUEL: any
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: adult themes
SUMMARY: Sam reflects on her inner self and her feelings for Jack.
STATUS: Story Revision
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of Fan Fiction and is not intended to infringe upon the character copyrights of Showtime, MGM-UA, Gekko Film Corp. or any other affiliated partnerships. The story is written solely for entertainment and the absolute amusement, not to mention the out-and-out distraction of the author who should be doing her homework instead of writing this stuff! All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author and may not be reproduced without written permission from the author. Money would never be accepted in exchange for this written work... only American Express!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks much to my beta readers, Irene, an AF officer who set me straight on the myths of military olive drab underwear, and to Jane, who's reaction to the story was way cool!
SG1 exited the Stargate headfirst and came to a tumbling halt at the end of the ramp, sprawled in a heap at the feet of General Hammond.
"Welcome back SG1," he smiled, looking down at the mud-covered group, "A hasty retreat I presume?"
"Yup...and thanks to Carter we got our asses out of there just in time," grinned O'Neill picking himself up and slapping Sam heartily on the back as she dragged herself to her feet. "You guys okay?" he added, offering an arm to Daniel, pulling him to his feet.
"Thanks," Daniel replied, pushing his glasses up from their precarious perch at the end of his nose.
"I am unharmed O'Neill," responded Teal'c, brushing some leaves and twigs from the front of his fatigue jacket.
"I think we need to hit the showers General," advised Jack indicating their muddy and disheveled appearance, "Then maybe a beer or two over a hockey game to wind down.... you guys in?" he turned to address the other three members of the team.
"Sure," replied Daniel, "...but no bourbon chasers." Swallowing hard at the memory of their boys' night out to 'The Jell-O Bowl' (Chronicle Record #34).
The boys headed off down the hallway.
Sam lingered, cradling her P-90, watching them plod away. She was covered in mud from head to toe and could feel the bruise on her right hip, a souvenir from hitting the ramp at a diving roll. She was tired of being thought of as one of the guys... just once, she wanted to be treated like a woman... have someone remember that she was a woman... have someone help her to her feet.
~Why hadn't the Colonel offered his hand to me? ~ The thought stung and a tear formed in the corner of her eye.
She walked slowly down the hallway, clenching her teeth to swallow the unexpected swell of emotions, catching a glimpse of her appearance in the glass partition of a door. She was wearing the usual baggy, camouflage green fatigues, a black ammo utility vest and a military style baseball cap... all completely covered in slimy mud. Her hair was cut boyishly short and plastered against her mud splattered, makeup-less face. She stopped and peered at herself, not quite believing the amorphous image looking back at her.
~How come guys can look so permissibly cute covered in mud and we look like... This? No wonder he doesn't see me as a woman... who would be interested in someone in shapeless military fatigues, carrying an assault weapon as a fashion accessory and smelling like a pig farm reject. ~ Her thoughts betrayed her burgeoning emotions as disappointment and despair swept uncontrollably over her face... reflecting a pain that she held inside.
"Hey Carter...let's go," yelled Jack, as 'the boys' entered the elevator.
Sam turned, but waved them on, "I'll catch up," she mouthed, not able to speak aloud for fear her voice would break. She quickly sidestepped into the sanctuary of the control room doorway to deflect any protests they might throw her way.
The elevator doors closed and she sank against the wall, closing her eyes as a sudden flood of emotion overwhelmed her. Unable to face them as she choked back a sob that painfully constricted her throat... her heart threatening to stop with every intake of breath.
She slipped into her base quarters and locked the door behind her, stripping off her wet clothes as she crossed the floor, leaving them in a trail as she headed for the bathroom and a long soothing soak in a hot bubble bath. The rush of hot water quickly filled the small room with a cloud of steam, which permeated the air with the pleasant fragrance of exotic oils, a forbidden contraband that she had brought back from a previous off world mission. The scent was hypnotic.
Sam padded lightly into the living area, at ease with her nakedness in the dim security of her quarters. She stood, slightly chilled, before her open fridge... reaching in for an open bottle of imported Chardonnay. The phone interrupted the gurgle of the pouring wine... but she chose to ignore it, knowing full well that it was probably Daniel calling to let her know that 'the boys' were ready to go.
Instead, she quickly returned to the beckoning warmth of the fragrant mist... closing the bathroom door with a gentle nudge of her hip, she slipped lazily into the frothy cushion of liquid. Sam took a deep breath and sank back into the bubbles... closing her eyes and feeling the heat begin to sooth away her physical and emotional aches.
....ring....ring!!! The phone startled her from her sleepy comfort and she chose to ignore it once more... hoping that they would just leave her alone and go off by themselves to their usual beer and hockey hunting ground... O' Malley's Bar and Grill. But as she slipped further down into the suds she heard a knock at her door.
"Hey Sam, it's Daniel...you ready to go?"
Sam closed her eyes for a moment then called out, "I'll catch up... you go on ahead." She could hear Daniel repeat her message to the Colonel and Teal'c... the muffled sounds of their conversation diminishing as they obviously headed off down the hallway.
Just once, she thought, she'd like someone, besides Martouf or her father, to call her Samantha. Her thoughts drifted to Colonel Jack O' Neill, her immediate superior officer and so far off-limits on a personal level that she felt embarrassed even within the confines of her own mind.
Why couldn't she be attracted to Daniel... plenty of women were... more than even he realized (The Fan-Napping of Dr Daniel Jackson, Chronicle Record #43) ...but he was just like a baby brother... not like Jack. No!... definitely not like Jack.
"Jack" she spoke his name softly and looked around the room self-consciously, as though she might be overheard. It just wasn't fair that her heart should be captured by someone she could not become involved with... unless... unless she was willing to give up her military career and... possibly even leave SGC.
Her mind wandered, in jealous emotion, as she remembered the civilian 'Dr Samantha Carter' who had come to them briefly from the alternate reality... she, who had been lucky enough to be married to Jack. Sam flushed at the memory of her jealousy then... at the realization of her jealousy now.
And what of Laira, the beautiful Edoran with whom Jack had spent several months, trapped on her world... while she, Sam, had worked feverously to find a way to bring him home. Only to feel the absolute desolation as she watched him embrace Laira tenderly during their parting moments... her heart breaking with the realization that something special had developed between them. Feeling an almost overwhelming sense of grief... that they were sharing what she, Sam, wished for with all her heart but just couldn't have.... not with him.
How could she hope to compete with the allure offered to him by other women when she was forced to constantly place her femininity aside in favor of her career? One by one the tears began to trickle down her cheek. Perhaps there was only one option for her; perhaps maybe someday she would have to choose between love and career.
Her heart ached.
Each mission had become more difficult as she found herself distracted by his nearness. Sometimes she would stare at him longingly before he would bring her thoughts sharply back to the reality of their situation with a 'Carter!'... causing her to snap back into her mandatory 'emotionally-detached' mode of military operation and remember who and where she was... and why she could not have what her passion desired.
She smiled softly through her tears, reliving the memories of the few times when 'Jack' had inadvertently touched her... a brush of the hand in passing... a moment of uncertainty when their eyes met and no words were spoken. She could still feel the hot spark of that electricity now as she languished in the flush of remembrance.
Sam took a long deep breath and exhaled slowly.... she had to go to O'Malley' s. Regardless of how painful it was to be in his presence and not be able to tell him how she felt, it was even more painful to just not see him at all.
Sam dressed slowly, taking her time.... choosing her clothes carefully and deliberately. She stood before the long mirror, casually wiping the steam from the reflective surface to admire her choice of provocative black lace underwear, seductively outlined beneath a silky slip that caressed her body in waves of motion as she swayed rhythmically to the dreamy music that was flowing through her mind.
She smiled as she recalled her 'girls trip', with Janet, to shop at Victoria Secrets... how they had conspiratorially enjoyed the fantasy of buying ultra lacy sensually provocative underwear. A pleasant diversion for Sam, that had outwardly appeared to be a completely unconscious decision at the time but was in reality a very conscious desire to someday be able to reveal these ultra feminine things to someone... to someone very special.
She hummed quietly, slipping into a knee length, slim fitting, simple black skirt... swiveling to stand sideways as she eased the zipper to closure, her slender form an enticingly obvious, but curvaceous, silhouette hidden beneath the smooth lines of the fabric. Turning to her bureau, she reached for a cherry-red, delicately knit sweater, sufficiently low-cut to ensure a teasing hint of black silk at her cleavage. She slowly closed each lace-covered button with deliciously tempting thoughts of Jack flooding her mind, feeling her temperature rise as a flush of excitement rippled through her femininity and brought a sudden redness to her cheeks.
Her long tanned legs required no hose and she slipped into a pair of high-heeled Gucci sandals, which were designed purely to accentuate the curve of her attractively long lean legs and intentionally add that inevitable swivel of the hips to her walk. She assessed her appearance, playfully cupping her breasts to momentarily accentuate her cleavage... blushing as she imagined Jack's hands replacing hers... the virtual sensations almost too unbearable for her mind and her body to linger over for more than a breathless second.
She closed her eyes and allowed the sensation to continue a moment longer... her imagination guiding her hands as they slowly drifted down across the fluttering in her stomach... coming to rest protectively over that part of her body defined by the flooding warmth of her femininity.
The sound of her own sudden intake of breath brought her back from the edge, "Not yet," she whispered as the warm glow of her inner excitement threatened to consume her. "Later," she promised herself and smiled inwardly as she leaned into the mirror to carefully apply a minimum of makeup but yet allowing an extravagance of rich red lipstick to outline her perfect lips in luscious invitation. The tip of her tongue slowly caressed the red oval, leaving a glistening wetness in its wake as she pursed her lips to form a breathless kiss.
Raking her fingers through her boyish haircut she tousled the strands into soft curls, which accentuated the highlights of her natural blondeness. A pair of small pearl earrings adorned her ear lobes and a matching pearl choker added a favorable touch of elegance to her overall appearance.
A light spray of Dolce & GabbanaTM perfume at the well of her throat and the hot points of her wrists imbued a subtle intimation of fragrance. ~ Not to overwhelm but to gently entice, ~ she thought, as she mischievously spritzed a little behind each knee.
Sam looked at herself in the mirror and was pleased with her transformation... the warrior had been vanquished for the moment.
These necessary excursions into her 'womanhood' were essential to maintaining her sanity in the male dominated world that she both worked and lived in.
A simple black purse completed the ensemble and she picked up the keys to her car and headed out the door.
O'Malley's was marginally crowded. A typical sports bar, sectioned conveniently for those who came to drink and watch sporting events on the many large screened TV' s. Other areas were partitioned off with pool tables, a restaurant and a small, rarely used, dance floor, which was tucked away in the recesses of a dark corner.
Jack, Daniel and Teal'c sat at the bar, talking... nursing beers and a coke while a hockey game played out on the screen overhead.
"It's late," yawned Daniel, stretching, " I'm heading home."
"It is indeed late," Teal'c rose to leave, "Do you intend to stay longer O'Neill?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'll hang out... see if Carter shows," he said looking towards the door expectantly, "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He watched as they left, then turned his attention back to the game and ordered another beer.
In the background, music flowed softly from a 50's style jukebox; the words to the classic song 'Lady' playing gently above the low murmur of the sparse crowd.
~~Oh Lady...let me take a look at you now... ~~
Jack glanced in the mirror, which hung on the wall behind the bar, and his mouth dropped open as he slowly turned to watch Major Samantha Carter glide across the room towards him. She moved effortlessly... long slow strides... hips swiveling ever so slightly in time to the music; a vision in slow motion, as with every deliberate step, male heads turned and watched her walk by. Jack sat, mouth agape, unable to blink as she crossed the floor to stop directly in front of him.
~~There on the dance floor wanting you how...~~
"Colonel... Jack?" she spoke his name with a sultry tone to her voice.
"A little informal Major?" he managed to choke out, the subtle fragrances of her perfume making him feel more than a little light-headed.
~~Oh Lady...there's only one thing I can say to you...~~
"Please don't say anything... Jack...just dance with me?" she smiled quietly as she leaned in close and slipped her hand into his, pulling him easily to his feet... leading him off to the quiet darkness of the secluded dance floor.
~~Don't be thinking that I don't want you 'cause Lady I do... ~~
As they moved onto the dance floor, Jack tenderly placed his hand at the small of her back and guided her closer until her body was leaning against his... both swaying gently to the rhythm of the music. Sam responded to the pressure of his hand willingly... eagerly... sliding her fingers slowly over his chest and up across his shoulder into the soft hair at the nape of his neck. She could feel her heart pounding against her ribs, a loud thunderous roar filling her ears as the blood in her veins throbbed ... drowning out the music as her breath quickened to the pace of her soaring pulse.
~~Don't be thinking that I don't want you 'cause Lady I do... ~~
"Samantha...." Jack whispered hoarsely... and she looked up, smiling as he lowered his lips gently to hers... consummating her passion.
.... ring....ring!! Sam dropped the wine glass and opened her eyes; startled by the sound of the phone... knowing that it was probably Daniel wondering if she was ready...
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