Just Because
by Nutty1
TITLE: Just Because
AUTHOR: Nutty1
EMAIL: mezzy34@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: SJR, Drama, POV
SPOILERS: none
SEASON / SEQUEL: none
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: male/female relationship/little language if you like/angst
SUMMARY: A precarious situation, and desperate times call for desperate measures, with a devastating outcome.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything yadda, yadda
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Constructive criticism wanted, as always.
Pulling on his roller blades, he skated out to an empty section of the car park. Gliding out with the Hockey stick in hand and puck on the ground, he stopped and whacked the puck hard along to ground toward the empty space of wall he stood about fifteen meters back from. Hitting the wall at a great velocity, it boomeranged back to him. Trapping it by the hockey stick he swung it again and the puck repeated the path it had taken only seconds before, only this time a little faster than the last. He continued the same pattern over and over while his mind reeled through the many things it had cooped up in it. So many words and thoughts that have and would never be expressed through words or any other method of communication. He frowned as another part of his mind opened and reminded him of some things he had been trying particularly hard to forget for a while now. He stopped the puck as the thoughts wove his mind into a subconscious web of anger and mostly pain and he slammed the puck back on its route to the wall again. These thoughts were never meant to surface again. Once buried, they were to remain that way. Buried, forgotten and in the past. Never to resurface. But his elementary plan, had again failed him. He wondered how hard he had to remind himself that those painful memories and experiences would never completely leave him. They would always, even if only in part, remain strong in his mind for the rest of his life. No matter how hard he tried to push past them and ignore them. He somehow knew that, but didn't fully trust it. It wasn't so much the experiences, but more the memories of them and just the memories alone. They were never something he liked to think he had cause to be proud of. In fact, if anything, he almost felt ashamed of them. They were not something he liked to remember at any time. But he had help to deal with them now. Someone there to talk to about them, even though not fully understanding, at least willing to listen and help console. It was a big comfort to know he could at least tell someone about it, and even though he knew they didn't know how it felt, or what it was like, they were at least there to comfort and care. That was more than he ever imagined or dreamed of. And fortunately, this time, it had turned out right. Something he never thought likely, had turned out better than ok, it had turned out right. Good. Great in fact. Almost perfect. And that was more than he thought he could possibly wish for.
She walked around a corner and saw him hitting the hockey puck back and forth. Hitting the wall and rebounding back to him, only for him to whack it back there again. She smiled. Walking a circle around the cars and wall, she approached him from behind without him seeing her. As she was almost behind him, the hockey stick was flown back in a huge swing. She dodged it, barely missed her, and she sighed quietly. As the puck slid along the rough pavement to the wall, she curled her arms around him. Slightly startling him, he turned around. When he saw who it was, although he almost knew who it was anyway, he smiled. He knew it would be her. Who else would hug him like that.
"Sorry if I scared you," she whispered as he dropped the hockey stick to the ground and hugged her in return. She rested her head in the curve of his neck and pressed a soft kiss to his skin.
"It's ok. I thought you'd gone home," he replied.
"No. I didn't know where you were, so I stayed. Thought we could go home together, seeing as we came here together."
"Suppose that's logical."
"That's me. Logical girl. Now, why are you out here hitting, no,whacking around a hockey puck all by yourself?"
"I just had some stuff on my mind. Thought it was solo thinking time. I know, not like me, but I didn't know what else to do."
"Talk to me?"
"Yeah. But I've been lumping all my problems on you lately. That's not fair. I need to sort some things out with myself. I'm sorry if I seem a little...uh...."
"Distant?"
"I guess."
"It's ok. You know I only want to help. But if you need some alone time, I'll go home if you like?"
"No, it's ok. I think I'll come home now. Done with thinking. Did no good anyway. I'll just put these away, ok?"
"Sure. I'll come with."
After he put all hockey gear away in his locker, they went back to the SGC car park and got into their car. She decided she should drive, seeing as his mind still seemed somewhere else. Clicking the seatbelt into its buckle, she placed her hands on the steering wheel. While he got in, she looked at the wedding ring on her finger. How she loved to look at it. It made her think of him. She loved to think of him. She watched as the sun through the car window caught some of the diamonds and made them shine prettily. She smiled and heard his door close. Starting the car, she turned the radio up a little and then began driving toward their home while humming along mindlessly to the tune on the radio.
"Are you sure you're ok?" She asked as they pulled into their driveway and she stopped the car. He nodded.
"Be fine."
"Sure?"
"Yeah. Really. Fine," he confirmed. Smiling reassuringly they both got out of the car and she fought to find the correct key to open their house. Finally finding it and shoving in the keyhole, she turned it until it clicked and the door was deemed open. Opening it and walking inside, she switched on a few lights while he closed the door behind them both and locked it again.
"Want dinner?" She called from the kitchen as he saw the light turn on. He shook his head, even thought he knew she couldn't see.
"No thanks. I think I might go to bed early. I'm kinda tired. You get something. I'm ok though."
"Jack O'Neill, you will talk to me, and you will tell me your troubles. I have known you long enough to know that that face is not a fine face. Something is still on your mind. Tell me about it baby. Come on. Sit down and talk to Dr. Sam. Come on, you know I'm a great listener."
"I know. Like I said before Sam, I've been dumping all my problems on you lately, and it isn't fair. And besides, they're basically all the same ones anyway. You've heard 'em all before. They've just come back to haunt me for a while. They'll go away again in a few days. I'll be ok, really. Don't have to worry. G'night," he said. Leaning in to kiss her cheek and say goodnight, he whispered, "Sleep well sweetheart." Sam smiled as he turned to walk away.
"You too. I'll be talking to you in the morning though." He turned back to her. "You don't seriously think I'm going to let you get away without telling me your troubles, do you? Nope. No matter how many times I've heard them, I'll hear them a million times over if it will help even just a little bit. Ok?"
"You're the best Sam. I don't know what I'd do without a beautiful wife like you."
"And I don't know what I'd do without a gorgeous husband like you."
"You flatter me too much you know?"
"Oh, and you don't sweet-talk me at all either, do you now?" She smiled sweetly.
"Ok. Point taken."
"Yeah. Sleep well gorgeous."
"Yeah. Night."
"Night."
Sam decided she also didn't particularly want dinner either and so just made a cup of tea. She slumped onto the three-seater sofa and grabbed the remote after placing her hot mug gently on the coffee table in front of the sofa. Switching on the T.V. she surfed the channels. Nothing. A few boring late night soap operas and movies. A couple of late night news' and a some sitcoms. She found a sitcom and turned the volume down. Although not interested in the show, she needed to watch something. Picking up her mug, she sipped some tea. Finding it hot, she wrapped her cold fingers around the mug to warm them. As she watched the sitcom, she found herself laughing, although still not interested. She giggled at a stupid comment and then found herself in a laughing fit as she watched another funny scene. Suddenly she found the half hour was over, and the show had finished. Sighing, she also noticed she had drunk all her tea too. Turning the television off, she went to the kitchen and placed the empty mug in the sink. Walking into their bedroom silently, she stripped down to her underwear. Sitting on the bed gently, she slid under the blankets. She looked to her husband, who was facing away from her on his side.
"Jack? Honey? You still awake?" She whispered. Hearing no reply, she assumed he was asleep. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her body against his back. Kissing the back of his neck softly, she whispered,
"Pleasant dreams."
Waking up in the same position in the morning, Sam blinked her eyes into focus. She unravelled her arms, and lay on her back. Stretching her arms out from under the blankets, she lifted her hand. As she did every morning, she admired her wedding ring. The diamonds sent pretty patterns onto the blankets. After staring at her ring for a while, she turned to her side and put her cold arms back under the covers.
"Jack? You awake yet?" she whispered.
"Hmm?"
"You just answered my question."
"Oh. How long have you been awake?" He asked, turning over to look at her. She kissed him.
"Not long" Sam replied after taking her lips of his. "Did you sleep well? You were asleep when I came in here last night."
"Ok. When did you come in?"
"'Bout half an hour after you. Watched a boring sitcom for a while."
"Boring? I heard you laughing."
"Yeah. I guess it was ok. When did you fall asleep?"
"After I heard you laughing I think."
"Oh. Do we have to go to the SGC this morning?"
"Damn. Yeah."
"Shit. Oh well. Better get up then I guess. You want the shower first?"
"Don't mind. You can go first if you like."
"Ok. Won't be long. Stay in here for a while."
"Might."
"Ok."
Near an hour later they had both had showers, Sam's being significantly longer, and were ready to leave.
"Ready?"
"Yeah. Let's go."
"Ok."
"Jack. Do you want me to drive?"
"I don't mind. Why?"
"You still seem somewhere else. Are you sure you're going to be ok?"
"Yes Sam. You know me. I'll be ok. Trust me sweetheart. I'll be fine." She still looked at him uncertainly. "If it makes you feel better, you can drive."
"It does. Thank you."
"S'ok. You really gotta stop worrying about me so much."
"I have to worry. It's my duty as a caring wife to worry about my husband when he seems uneasy. When you seem fine, I'll stop worrying. But for now, let me be concerned, ok?"
"Like I said, if it makes you feel better."
"Not really, but it helps," she smiled. He nodded. Pulling her into his arms, he hugged her reassuringly. She instantly embraced him and felt the comfort she always felt when she was in his arms. Looking up into his eyes, she still saw the sorrow and anguish behind them. Knowing that she could do nothing for the pain she knew only little of, she smiled again. She so wished that she could help more, but almost knew she couldn't. She knew of the hurt, and knew it existed so very potently, but she didn't know how to help it go away. She knew that it would almost certainly be in his mind forever. That it would never leave him. He would always have a tortured mind, and never a soul free of grief. How she wished she could clean it all. Purify his mind of disturbing memories, and wipe all those agonising emotions away to leave him a new soul. A new one, with no memories. No bad ones anyway. All the bad gone, and left only the good things for him to remember fondly. She wished there was some way she could do that for him, but knew it was only a wish she could have it as. But she would keep the wish, and maybe one day even share it with him. Tell him of her wishes to help purify his mind, and maybe even bring him some solace in him just knowing she wished to be able to help him like that. Maybe one day she would, she thought. One day.
At the SGC, they were silent on their journey to the Briefing Room.
"General," they both acknowledged. He nodded.
"Colonel. Major. How are you both this morning?"
"Good thanks sir," Sam answered after a moment of silence. Then she thought, what could Jack say? Yeah, everything's just perfect for me sir, I'm just great? No. No, he couldn't lie like that. They sat down at the briefing table and Daniel and Teal'c walked in. Then they started the briefing.
"Chevrone seven, locked! Wormhole established!" Was called. After the briefing, they all geared up for their mission. As they walked up the ramp and through the Gate, Sam still wondered if Jack was really going to be ok. On the other side, they saw the dark sky of the planet. Clouds heavy with rain, threatened to release their anger any time soon.
"Right, secure the area, and check out if there's anyone living around here. Let's head out," Jack said as they all wondered further out into the baron ground in front of them. Sam checked the MALP and Teal'c set off with Daniel. They all joined up a few hundred meters later, and walked the empty land together. Then they heard weapons firing.
"Hit the deck. Teal'c, are they Goa'ulds?"
"I believe so O'Neill," he responded.
"Ok. We're gonna go in. Round up from the sides. See that door, that's our goal. Reach it, go inside, and check it out. Go it?" They all nodded. "Good. Ok," Jack lifted his hand and signalled the count-down to their entering the battle with his fingers. Five....four....three....two....one....zero....GO! They ran around the war-zone and hid behind various rocks and trees, although there weren't many of them. Firing at the Goa'uld opposition, they eventually won the war. Heading up to the door they set as their goal, they went inside silently. As soon as they set one foot in the room, Guards were upon them, and their plan was ruined.
"Place your weapons on the ground!" A serpent guard commanded.
In a small cell, Jack paced anxiously as he tried to conjure a plan for their escape. Suddenly it hit him. They had no weapons, but they all managed to keep their pocket knives hidden. With that in mind, he figured if they could attract the guards attention somehow, get them inside, stab them, then they just had to sneak out. Risky, he knew, but it was their only chance. Being held prisoner by the Goa'uld was always something he hated.
"Ok, I've got an idea. Now this might not work, in which case, we'll either be stuck here or dead, but I think we just might be able to pull this one off. Ok, here's the plan...." And he went to explain it to them. After hearing the plan, they all agreed, no matter how dicey, they had to risk it. It might be their only chance. They decided as a group that Daniel would fake an attack of allergies. A sort of sneezing, coughing, weird mixed up fit kind of thing. He started sneezing, very loudly, and then coughing and he fell onto the ground.
"Hey! We need some help in here!" Jack yelled through the door. Nodding to Daniel, he upped the volume to a more dramatic level. A guard opened the door and stood in the doorway watching. Sam was against the wall on one side of it, and Teal'c was on the other. Both wielding knives, in preparation to attack the guards. Daniel was still in a fake contorted mess on the floor. Jack shouted again that he needed help. The guard reluctantly agreed and called another guard for help. Both stepping inside the cell, Sam and Teal'c turned on them, and shoved a knife in their chest. Both crumpling to the ground, they were dead. Smiling triumphantly, Teal'c picked up the Staff weapon from one guard, and Sam took the other. Offering it to Jack, he declined and told her to take it, he would take the next from the next guard. She half-heartedly obeyed and took the Staff Weapon. Teal'c taking the front, Daniel and Sam the middle, and Jack the rear, they quickly and silently left the cell. Sam ran along with Daniel and Teal'c ran a little further ahead. Sam turned around quickly to see if Jack was still close. Unfortunately, she found he wasn't. He was trapped against a wall surrounded by about seven Serpent Guards. Her mind instantly made her stop. She watched them all raise their Staff Weapons. How the hell could she stop this? She couldn't possibly kill all of them. There were too many. She could perhaps kill one or two, but then they would all turn on her. It seemed impossible. Daniel kept running, and Teal'c was already way ahead. Daniel turned around and saw her frozen, staring back to where they had come from. He ran back to her, and as he got closer, he saw why she was staring. Sam kept thinking, how could she stop this? She wouldn't let a swarm of Serpent Guards kill Jack while he was helplessly trapped in a corner with no way to protect himself. She wouldn't let them kill him, full stop. No one was going to kill him. But he was going to be killed. Then she remembered as they were led to their cell, she saw a room with a Sarcophagus. But if they killed him, they would probably take him and give him a Goa'uld. She knew how he hated them. She wouldn't let them turn him into a Goa'uld. Then a plan hit her. If she shot him, they would turn to her, she could get Teal'c back here first. They both could kill the guards, and then they could put him in the Sarcophagus. She knew it was risky, and almost as bad as them killing him, but she refused to allow the Goa'uld to kill her husband. She wouldn't have it.
"Daniel, get Teal'c here. NOW!" She exclaimed, but quiet enough so the guards couldn't hear her. Daniel ran to get Teal'c. Sam raised the Staff Weapon she held, and aimed as best as she could at Jack with being so far away. She walked as close as she could to them, without the guards spotting her. Aiming closest to his heart as she could, she fired the weapon.
"I'm so sorry Jack. Please understand. It's the only way. Please forgive me," she whispered as the shot hit him in his chest and he fell to the ground. The guards all turned around and looked to where the shot came from. Teal'c and Daniel came running up along side Sam. Teal'c began to shoot the guards, and eventually killed them all.
"Sam! What the hell did you do?! You killed him! Are you crazy?!" Daniel shouted at her. She just nodded and felt the tears pouring down her face.
Realization suddenly hit me. I killed him. God, I killed him. The man I love. The man I'm married to, and I killed him. How could I have done that?! The Sarcophagus. We have to put him in it. All hope isn't lost yet. We've still got that. But how the hell am I going to live with myself, even if he does make it, knowing that I shot him. I shot him! I ran over to where he lay in a pool of deep crimson, that is his blood. The wall was also smeared with the red substance. Cradling his head in my lap, I just cried. What else could I do? What could I say? 'Yeah, I shot you' and then him saying 'why?' and me replying, 'oh, just because'. Just because. I just shot him. I mean sure, I had a plan, but it was a dumb one! It sucked. Daniel stood frozen, staring at me in incredulity. He couldn't believe what I had done, any more than I could.
"Sam! Why did you do that?!" He yelled, walking over to me with anger in his eyes.
"Daniel Jackson, I believe Major Carter had a plan of which did not succeed," Teal'c explained. Didn't succeed. Ya think?! Sure, my plan was to kill my husband! Isn't that just the best plan?! Can't escape, so I might as well kill him and.... oh God. This can't be happening! I brushed his hair from his face. Empty. Lifeless. Oh God how could I have done this to you Jack?
"We must put him in a Sarcophagus immediately. He will not survive if we do not," Teal'c stated. I just sat there with his head on my lap and my fingers mindlessly combing through his hair. Teal'c came over and lifted him off me effortlessly and didn't even take the blood into recognition. Finding the room with the Sarcophagus, silently we placed him inside it and closed the top. Sitting behind it so as the guards, if any, walked past they wouldn't see us.
They all sat silently behind the Sarcophagus, awaiting it to open. Sam's mind was reeling. Asking her time and time again why she had to choose that plan. Tears tumbled from her eyes and stained her cheeks as she tried to fathom why she had done what she had. She now wished she had turned the Staff Weapon on herself and fired it. She knew Daniel would be thinking the same thing.
"Sam, why did you do this?! You killed him! Your husband, and you killed him! WHY?!" Daniel yelled angrily as he stood furiously. Sam shook her head in disbelief and just continued to cry.
"I don't know," she whispered.
"You have to know! You must have a reason for shooting him! Tell me!" Daniel exclaimed as he grabbed her shoulders and made her stand in front of him. She shook her head shamefully. She didn't want to answer him.
"If he doesn't make it Sam..."
"If he doesn't make it Daniel, I will give you the Staff Weapon I shot him with, so that you can shoot me with it," Sam interrupted and told him.
"And don't think for a minute that I wouldn't do it," he replied calmly. She nodded. She knew he had every right to be angry. Jack was his best friend. He was like a brother to him. Jack was the only person Daniel could have a fully fledged argument about nothing with. And come out the winner. Sam sometimes wondered how they did that. Best friends arguing about absolutely nothing. Or something so insignificant and unimportant that it wasalmostfunny. But Sam knew, that despite their childish arguments, they were the best of friends. And that they were brothers. Daniel was the closest thing to family, apart from Sam, that Jack had. And Jack was the closest thing to a brother, and a real friend that Daniel had. They were always there for each other, in their own strange ways. And Sam knew that they would do anything for one another, just as brothers would. And she knew, that even if they wouldn't admit it to each other, or even themselves, they did like to argue.
Daniel released Sam's shoulders and paced irately. Sam sat on the edge of the Sarcophagus, and waited anxiously for it to open. Suddenly the top began to slide open. Sam jumped to her feet and watched as it slowly separated until she could see Jack. Although he didn't move, she felt the sensation of his recovery hit her. By looking, she couldn't tell for sure if he was indeed ok, but she had feeling he was. The top of the Sarcophagus was finally open, and she could see him fully. The injury to his chest had healed. No blood, and no gaping hole. Although his jacket and t-shirt were both still ripped from the blast, the injury was gone. Sam touched his forehead.
"Jack? Are you awake?" She asked in a hushed tone. There was no reply, but the sense that he was going to be ok, still remained in her.
"He's not awake Sam. He's dead!" Daniel exclaimed loudly.
"NO! No, he's not dead Daniel! You just want to blame this on me, and you want to make me feel bad! Well, don't you think I already feel bad enough?! He is my husband, after all. Do you think I wanted to kill him?! I love him, Daniel! I don't want anyone to hurt him, but it was the only way. I had to do it. He's going to be ok though. The Sarcophagus saved him."
"Oh, and since when did you become an expert on Sarcophaguses?! Huh?! You don't know what you're talking about Sam! You just don't want to face reality! He's dead, and you killed him! You're gonna have to face that sooner or later! And wether you like it or not, this is reality, and he is dead!" Daniel exclaimed as tears gathered in his own eyes and trailed down his cheeks. He was just hurt and in denial. Sam knew he didn't fully mean everything he was saying to her. He couldn't. "How could you do this to him Sam?! He was like a brother to me! He was my best friend!"
"Sam?" Suddenly a barely audible whisper was heard. Sam turned her attention to Jack again, and saw, although still not conscious, he was indeed going to be ok.
"Jack! You're ok! Thank God!" Sam cried as she pulled his loose, and limp body from the Sarcophagus to hug him. She held him tightly and hugged him as the tears she knew were of happiness flowed from her eyes.
"Jack?" Daniel questioned in incredulity. He walked over to Sam and pushed her arms from him and let him fall to the floor.
"He's dead Sam! You imagined it!" Daniel exclaimed as he collapsed to the floor.
"Imagined what? If I imagined it, then how come you heard it too?" Sam asked.
"Because we both want to believe that he's ok. But he isn't Sam. He isn't!" Daniel cried.
"You are incorrect Daniel Jackson. I also heard O'Neill. He is ok. The Sarcophagus would have healed his injuries. Despite what you see now, he shall recover fully," Teal'c explained. Sam continued to cry in happiness, and Daniel in anger.
After a moment, they carefully took Jack, and silently left for the Stargate. Once there, Sam dialled it and sent their Remote Access Code through. Stepping through the Gate on the other side, General Hammond stood at the end of the ramp.
"We need a med team!" Sam yelled. General Hammond repeated the action and soon after, Dr. Fraiser and a small team of nurses raced in with a gurney ready to transport Jack to the Infirmary. Teal'c placed his limp body on the gurney and Janet raced to the Infirmary barking commands to the nurses pushing the gurney.
"De-briefing now people," Hammond told them. Nodding, they all made their way to the Briefing Room.
After an hour de-briefing, and almost the same length of Sam crying, she was allowed to go to the Infirmary.
"Daniel Jackson, I believe you should leave Major Carter to see O'Neill alone," Teal'c said. Daniel looked at her and narrowed his eyes, as though she didn't already feel bad enough. She bowed her head and continued into the Infirmary while Daniel and Teal'c waited outside.
"Janet," Sam called.
"Dr. Fraiser is in the OR right now Major. You can see her when she has finished," A nurse came and told her.
"But.... she's still in surgery?" Sam questioned. She nodded.
"Yes. You will have to wait," she almost snapped.
"No I won't! I want to go in there with her."
"You can't do that Major. She's in a very critical section of the surgery. You will have to wait!"
"No! She's in there operating on my husband! I want to go and see if he's ok damn you!" Sam yelled.
"Oh, I am sorry. I didn't realize the Colonel and you were married. Wait a moment and I'll ask her if you can go in and see him yet."
"Sam! What's going on in here?! All I could hear is yelling," Daniel exclaimed as he stormed into the Infirmary with Teal'c behind him.
"Nothing isgoing on in hereDaniel. I just wanted to see Janet!" Sam told Daniel as the nurse left to find out if Sam could go in and see Jack. Daniel and her argued for a minute while they subconsciously waited for the nurse to return.
"Uhh, Dr. Fraiser told me to inform you that you cannot go into the OR, but also to inform you!" The nurse raised her voice as Sam began to walk away. She stopped. "Also inform you that he is ok. She said she should be out in a few minutes and then she will talk to you. Please don't worry," she continued. Sam sighed and Daniel mimicked with extra emphatics. Sitting down on the row of chairs against the wall, they all waited patiently.
Almost an hour later, Janet Fraiser emerged from the OR.
"Janet! Is he ok?" Sam asked anxiously as she stood up along with Daniel and Teal'c who were both equally as worried as her.
"He's going to be ok. Ok, I admit I wasn't sure at first, but I know for sure now. He will be fine. He's very weak at the moment, andvery drugged, so he'll be unconscious for a while. Until tomorrow, I'm guessing. Other than being weak and pretty drowsy for about a week, he should make a full recovery. He's very lucky though. He almost didn't.... he's in the ICU for now. Sam, you can see him for a little while. I'm sorry, but you boys will have to wait until tomorrow. Come on Sam, I'll show you the way," Janet said to her as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Janet walked her to the ICU and left her alone in his section. She sat down. She knew she would never be able to live with herself for... killing him. Even though he was going to survive and be ok, she had still killed him. Looking at him now, she couldn't see how he would be fine. She saw all the machines and things hooked up to him and just couldn't see him being fine. The respirator tube down his throat was bothering her too. She looked past all the machinery and to the pale face of her husband. She found tears in her eyes again, and she sniffed.
"Jack, I'm so sorry for all this. I'm so sorry for what I've done to you. Daniel's right. I love you, but I killed you. I don't know many people who can say they've done that," she smiled briefly at her small attempt at humour. "Please wake up soon. Be ok for me. I love you Jack."
The next day he was released from the ICU and was moved to the Infirmary without the Respirator. Sam, Teal'c and Daniel sat by his bedside nearly all day, waiting for him to wake up. Sam watched his pale face until she saw some life come into it.
"Sam," he whispered, only semi-conscious, but slowly waking up fully. Sam smiled briefly.
"I'm here Jack. I'm here."
"You... killed me."
"I'm so sorry."
"S'ok."
"Not really. How do you feel?"
"Hurts."
"I know. I'm so sorry baby. You can kill me if you want."
"No. Hurts too much."
"I deserve it though. Daniel and Teal'c are here too."
"Hey."
"Hi Jack. How you feeling?" Daniel asked.
"Be fine."
"Are you recovered O'Neill?" Teal'c queried. Jack nodded.
"Almost. Thanks for coming guys. Can I have some time with Sam?"
"Sure. We'll come back tomorrow. Bye," Daniel said. He and Teal'c waved goodbye and left.
"What's up?" Sam quizzed.
"Why did you kill me Sam? If you didn't like my new toothpaste, you could have just said so. I would have changed it for you," Jack told her jokingly. She smiled. "No, seriously. Why?"
"It was my plan. Before you say anything, let me explain. Ok?" She asked. He nodded. "I saw that the guards had surrounded you. I knew they would either kill you there and then, or they'd give you a Goa'uld. I know how you hate those things, and I knew you would probably rather die than have one of those inside you. And I know that you I both would not have liked you to be killed by a swarm of Serpent guards. I know I didn't want to see that. Not while you were pushed into a corner and had no way at all to defend yourself. I just could bear that. But then, how I can't bear knowing I killed you!" Sam exclaimed as the tears overcame her eyes and she cried uncontrollably.
"Hey. It's ok. I'm ok now. Your plan was ok in the end Sam. And you're right. I would rather die than have one of those snakes in my head. Thank you. Hey, no more tears. Come on girl. I'm ok now," Jack told her. She nodded.
"I know. But I still killed you. How could I have done that to you Jack?! How can you forgive me for something like that?!" She cried and let her head fall onto the bed, next to Jack.
"I can forgive you. One, because I know that it was the only thing you thought you could do, and I know you wouldn't have done it otherwise. And two, because I love you, and I always will. Even if you did kill me. Ok?"
"I'm so lucky I have you. Not every girl is lucky enough to have someone like you. I love you so much."
"I know. And I want you to know, no matter how much you resent doing what you did, I'm grateful that you did. And I will never ever make you feel bad about it."
"I know. Thank you."
A few weeks later there was a Military function of which they were all expected to attend.
"I hate these things," Jack winged.
"I know. You've told me about ten times already," Sam reminded him. He smiled.
"I know. Sorry. These things just really... sorry. I won't make it eleven."
"Oh you will. I'm sure of it. Hi Daniel. Teal'c. You guys having fun?"
"Hi Sam. Jack. Havingfun? How could you possibly have fun at one of these functions? They're so boring!" Daniel grizzled. Jack smiled toward Sam.
"See. I'm not the only one. I agree Danny. Thesefunctions are so incredibly mundane."
"Mundane? Are you sick darling? You never say big words like that," Sam said sarcastically, putting her hand over his forehead. He laughed, brushing her hand away.
"You think I don't know how to say long words like you and Daniel? Hah! Of course I can. Maybe not all that techno-babble stuff, but I can say some pretty impressive stuff when I want to. Had ya all fooled didn't I?" he smiled triumphantly.
"Oh you sneaky devil, you," Sam smiled, taking his hand in hers.
"Oh, stop it you two!" Daniel said in disgust. They laughed. The music suddenly changed to a slow song. Sam smiled, indicating she wanted him to ask her to dance. He obliged.
"Care for a dance milady?" He asked with a southern accent, chivalrously holding out his hand. She took it.
"Why yes, kind sir. I would be delighted," Sam responded using the same southern tongue. Daniel and Teal'c shared a bemused expression and watched the couple proceed out to the dance floor. "Its our song," Sam stated as she moved into Jack's arms. He nodded.
"Yeah."
'I do swear, that I'll always be there. I'd give anything and everything, and I will always care. Through weakness and strength. Happiness and sorrow. For better, for worse, I will love you, with every beat of my heart'
"From this moment,
Life has begun,
From this moment,
You are the one,
Right beside you,
Is where I belong,
From this moment on.
From this moment,
I have been blessed,
I live only,
For your happiness,
And for your love,
I'd give my last breath,
From this moment on"
They swayed slowly to the beat of the song. Sam stood close to Jack and wrapped her arms around his neck. He stood in a similar position, holding her close to him with his arms around her waist.
"I give my hand to you with all my heart,
I can't wait to live my life with you,
I can't wait to start,
You and I will never be apart,
My dreams, came true, because, of you.
From this moment, as long as I live,
I will love you, I promise you this,
There is nothing, I wouldn't give,
From this moment on"
Sam rested her head in the curve of Jack's neck. Sighing softly while they danced, she knew this was what life was all about for her. Being close to the man she loved. She moved one hand from his neck to rest softly between them, on his chest. From where her hand rested, she could feel his heart beating softly in his chest. She knew after what happened, she would always love to feel that.
You're the reason I believe in love,
And you the answer to my prayers from up above,
All we need is just the two of us,
My dreams, came true, because, of you.
From this moment, as long as I live,
I will love you, I promise you this,
There is nothing, I wouldn't give,
From this moment,
I will love you, as long as I live,
From this moment on.
Slowly the music began to finish. They stopped dancing, but stayed close to each other. Sam looked up and into Jack's deep brown eyes. In them, she saw his love for her reflecting down to her. She smiled. Kissing him tenderly, she then noticed the dance-floor was relatively empty apart from themselves, and a number of people, including a certain Daniel Jackson, were staring at them. Breaking the kiss, they smiled at each other. Walking from the dance-floor back to the sides where nearly everyone else was standing.
"That was nice," Sam said quietly.
"Yeah. It was," Jack responded.
"You two should really take at look at yourselves. You're hopeless," Daniel told them a little louder than a whisper. They smiled. "You should have seen yourselves! I mean, really!"
"Thanks Daniel. We know," Sam piped up.
"You're just jealous Danny," Jack told him. Sam smiled at him.
"Yeah. I'm so envious that I don't look like a lovesick teenager. How do I get that look? I've been looking around for a while now, but all the stores keep saying that look isn't in this season. Can't imagine why though. How about you guys?" Daniel comment, heavily sarcastic. Sam and Jack sighed emphatically.
"You wanna go home?" Sam asked.
"Yes! This is so boring!"
"That part wasn't boring though was it?"
"No. That part is the exception of the whole evening."
"Good. You know how I love that song."
"Yeah."
"Let's go. I have to admit, I'm bored out of my mind!"
"Ha! See! I'm not the only one."
"I never said I liked these things. Let's go. Night Daniel."
"Bye Sam. Bye Jack."
"Bye Danny. Bye Teal'c."
"You are departing O'Neill?"
"Yah. Kinda bored."
"I concur. This is rather tedious."
"Yeah. Exactly. Night. Say bye to Hammond for us if you see him, ok?"
"I shall."
"Thanks Teal'c. Night," Sam said as she walked past him after saying goodbye to Janet. The pair walked out to their car. Sam stopped next to it while Jack unlocked her door.
"Jack."
"Yeah?"
"I love you," Sam said as she kissed him again. They smiled. Hearing that song brought back some beautiful memories for the couple. They had played it at their wedding. They both said it said everything they needed to say to one another better than they could themselves. Now it would forever betheirsong. And they would always love each other. Until the end of time. Just because.
XxX Fini XxX
Comments, please! ~*Nutty1*~
Bye the way, the song is,
"From This Moment On" By Shania Twain.
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