Grace Remains
Grace Remains
by MerryKate
Summary: My explanation of who Grace is
Category: Missing Scene/Epilogue, Romance
Episode Related: 713 GRACE
Season: future Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 01/17/04
The first thing Sam remembered feeling, other than the cold surface of the ship's deck, was pain. It took a moment to remember where she was and why her head was pounding. The ship. She had been trying to save the ship. She used the wall to climb to her feet and stumble over to the intercom system, trying to hail the bridge.
No response.
This wasn't good, Sam.
Turning her head to the side, she saw a beautiful little girl standing there, clothed all in white. She only turned away for a moment and then she was gone. Where did she disappear to? Curiosity leading her steps, she made her way out into the corridor. Not a soul was with her, save for the momentary apparition.
A quick scan of the ship's cameras also revealed only resounding emptiness.
This wasn't good, Sam.
The only thing she could think of to do, in her disoriented state, was to make mission logs. It was so "Star Trek," she knew, but if they were ever heard by someone, then she wouldn't have died, alone and silent.
She was terribly tired, but tried desperately to heed the warning Teal'c had given her. Don't fall asleep. If she fell asleep, she could die.
But, Teal'c, don't you know how terribly enticing such a sleep would be?
Just for a little while.
She would just rest her eyes.
That's all.
"Twinkle, twinkle little star...."
Sam slowly lifted her head up. The sound was so enticing. So intriguing. Following the sound would certainly keep her from sleeping. She called out the voice, but to no avail. She was alone. Again.
This wasn't good, Sam.
For now, she occupied her time with things to do. When all else fails, throw yourself into your work. It had always proven helpful before. So she sent out a distress signal, applied some rudimentary first aid techniques to her injured head, and organized the supplies.
There she was again. The beautiful little girl with those enchanting eyes, so similar to her own.
"Play with me."
Well, it sure beat the hell out of bagging groceries.
Before she could act on the invitation, she had vanished again. So much for playing.
Daniel's appearance had been nothing short of annoying. She wouldn't have pictured him as such, she didn't think. Not that she was thinking very clearly at the moment. Her thoughts were a disconcerted jumble. Nothing made sense at all. Trying to reason with it would get her nowhere.
One thing about Daniel's ramblings was clear -- he wanted her to study the cloud. For what reason, she couldn't begin to fathom. Didn't she have bigger concerns than that?
Unless the cloud was something else?
Just when she needed her mind the most, it seemed to be failing her.
Studying the cloud was important.
Yeah, but so was preventing the imminent hull breach.
Hull breach?
This wasn't good, Sam.
Hull breach was bad. She could figure out that much, even with the pounding headache.
"When the blazing sun is gone. When he nothing shines upon."
There she was again. The little girl. The one who refused to answer her questions. If she even understood them in the first place.
"Then you show your little light. Twinkle, twinkle all the night." The little girl beckoned to her. "Come on. This way."
Sam had to follow her. Full of curiosity, she turned down the corridor, only to run into Teal'c.
This was a surprise.
How could he expect her to do nothing? Sam could never 'do nothing'. It wasn't in her nature. There was always something to be done. Some miracle to make happen.
How had she wound up on the floor again? When did that happen?
This wasn't good, Sam.
The pain was real enough, depsite the delusions that continued to assault her. Maybe she was losing her mind. What was left of it anyway.
Her current idea had to work. It had to prevent the hull breach. Hull breaches were bad. Venting pressurized atmosphere outta do it. One look up at the camera told her that whatever it might gain would not be worth it. The little girl was in trouble. Somehow, she was ... hurting her by the action?
"No!" She cried out in alarm and unfastened the restraints that had held her in the chair.
This wasn't good, Sam.
Daniel. Not again. Wasn't once enough?
The cloud was alive? The cloud was the little girl? How was that possible? It made no sense. Not that much did at the moment anyway.
"Talk to her, Sam," Daniel had pleaded.
Right now, Sam was only talking to the deck again. She would just rest her eyes. Only for a little while. Maybe she would wake up soon, safe and sound in her bed, and this would be nothing more than a really strange dream.
"Twinkle, twinkle little star...."
Not a dream.
Just a really wacked out version of what was now her reality.
Peachy.
All right. Talk to her? That was what Daniel had suggested?
"My mother used to sing that to me," she admitted. Through the years, she remembered that. It brought back memories of being safe and secure -- so unlike her current situation. She had even dreamed of, one day, singing that song to her own little girl.
"How obscure," the little girl commented.
Obscure? Wasn't she too young to understand, much less use, a word like 'obscure'?
"I'm so tired," Sam whispered, allowing defeat to settle in a little more deeply.
"You can't sleep," the child insisted. "Not yet."
"Why?" Sam questioned. She just wanted to rest her eyes. Just for a little while. Teal'c had warned her not to, though. Hadn't he?
"Because we need to talk," the little girl answered.
This wasn't good, Sam.
Well, a conversation could at least be served along with dinner. Too bad she didn't have the energy to prepare one.
When the child brought her a plate of food, Sam looked up at her. Resourceful little thing, wasn't she?
"Eat," she implored. "You need to keep your strength up."
Sam almost asked her what for? She was going to die out here, wasn't she? And she wasn't hungry. She just wanted to sleep. Just for a little while. Just close her eyes, despite the warning Teal'c had given her.
"Do you have a name?" she questioned, not expecting to receive an answer in response.
"I'm Grace," the little girl answered with a smile.
"Who are you?" Sam asked.
"You know," Grace answered cryptically.
"No, I don't know," Sam insisted, even as she wondered why the child was suggest that she know her. How could she know a child she had never seen before? Surely, if she knew her -- or knew someone with the name Grace -- she would recognize it. Even if she did have a head injury.
Suddenly, Grace was gone and her father was there. Was there a significance in that progression?
Wait a minute. She shouldn't try to rationalize a delusion. It would only make her head pound all the more.
She was going to die, a slow painful death, and her father wanted to chat about her happiness. Great timing, Dad. Impeccable as always.
She was missing something vital from her life.
Like what, Dad? Like a little girl with Jack's hair and her eyes?
No, that was just the head injury talking. She couldn't reason with it, remember? Was that what her father was trying to point out to her when he said that she didn't have any idea what he was talking about? Maybe she was getting it. Slowly. It was just taking awhile longer for the old brainwaves to register.
"Dad, I am happy," Sam insisted. She had her career. Her marvelous career. The incredible life.
"And yet you're alone," Jacob stated.
There ya go, Dad. Stating the obvious again.
She tried to make a joke out of it, but failed miserably. Not that it deterred her father in any way. He had a point to make.
Love was the missing quotient in her life.
"Sam, I know you've denied yourself the experience because you think it must inevitably end in pain and loneliness."
Like when her mother had died.
She knew the risks involved in her marvelous career -- this incredible life of hers. If she were to have a pretty little girl with brown hair and incredibly blue eyes, how could she leave her, the way her mother had left her? She knew what that felt like. She could never do it to someone else.
"It's time to let go of the things that prevent you from finding happiness," Jacob was insisting. "You deserve to love someone and to be loved in return."
But I do love someone, Dad. Why was it so hard to admit that, even to an apparition? Was it because she didn't want to face the incrimination in her father's eyes? She knew what he'd say if he only knew that she was in love. Madly in love. With her Commanding Officer. That would go over like a lead balloon.
Before she could even try to explain it, he was gone.
Maybe that was for the best. Before she could speak the truth and disappoint him. She had never wanted to disappoint him. For her entire life, she had always tried to make him proud of her.
Perhaps if she just slept for a little while, it would start to make sense.
Just drift away, like a stream of bubbles.
Bubbles.
Sam looked up and discovered that the bubbles were a reality, even if not much else was.
"Wanna try?" Grace questioned.
A brief smile slid across Sam's features, but she shook her head in response.
"It's fun," the little girl insisted.
"I remember when I was a little girl, I used to wonder how a bubble could exist. You see, there's this thing called surface tension, when molecules bind together in a certain way..."
"Boring!" Grace exclaimed, rolling her eyes.
If that wasn't a response from Jack's daughter, she didn't know what was. The only thing better would've been if she had cried, "Whatever" or "For cryin' out loud" or perhaps if she put her hands over her ears and sang, "La La La La".
"Here, just try it," Grace insisted, moving toward her and sharing the wand.
Giving in to the temptation to share just a moment of happiness with this little girl, Sam obeyed and blew bubbles.
"See? Fun."
"Yeah," Sam replied.
She did remember what fun was. Even if she didn't experience it very often. Not in this simple, innocent fashion.
And then Jack was there.
Wasn't it bad enough she had been doing her own mental speculation while trying to figure out who this mysterious, enchanting child was without having him appear?
"All right, Carter," Jack insisted. "Come on. On your feet. Let's go."
This was one order she intended to refuse.
"I was wondering when you were going to show up," Sam stated. She knew it had only been a matter of time before she would bring up the subject of her speculations.
"You just gonna sit there?"
Damn right. "Too tired, Sir," she answered softly.
Jack slid down the wall, settling in for the proverbial long haul. Damn, he looked good in blue.
"Samantha, I'm a figment of your imagination. You're gonna call me, Sir?"
So now we're going to bandy semantics? "Old habit," Sam whispered. "Sorry."
"So you gonna save yourself or what?"
Did he think she'd been just sitting around the entire time she'd been here? "I've tried," Sam replied.
"Just giving up then?"
Why not? "I just don't know what else to do right now."
"You'll think of something."
Of course Jack would believe that. Sam always thought of something. Got a problem? Sam will fix it! In a jam? Sam will get you out of it! Sam was tired. Couldn't he see that?
"Came to give me a pep talk?" Sam questioned. Somehow, this was falling a mile short of a 'pep talk'.
"That's what friends are for."
Sam almost laughed aloud at that one. If she had had the energy to laugh, that is. "Friends?"
"Hey, this is you talking here. Might as well be honest."
Well, Jack, as long as we're being honest, let me throw this little comment out there for your perusal. "What if I quit the Air Force? Would that change anything or is it just an excuse?"
Ouch. Had she just said that? The head injury must be worse than she thought.
"I would never ask you to give up your career."
Yeah. My marvelous career. This incredible life. I would give it all up to have a little girl in a white dress with your hair and my eyes.
"Because you don't feel anything for me?" Sam challenged. Hey, we were being honest here, weren't we? Brave enough now to say what we wanted because there were no real risks to be taken with an illusion.
"Carter...." Jack's tone held a warning inside it.
"I'd let you go right now if I knew." If I knew you weren't in love with me. As if I haven't known it for years.
"That easy?"
"I didn't say it would be easy." Nothing was ever easy. Not in the position the two of them were in.
"Then what's stopping you if you really wanna know?"
Maybe she really didn't want to know. Maybe it was better to not know and to save what was left of her heart.
"I'm trying," Sam insisted.
"Maybe it's not me that's the problem here. Let's face it. I'm not that complex."
Jack? Complex? Somehow, those two words don't go together, do they?
"Me?" Sam questioned, almost able to envision a little bulb illuminating over her head.
"Sam, I'm a safe bet."
Were it not for the pounding headache, she would've laughed again. It was a safe bet that Jack would jump at the chance for a relationship with her. She was the one holding out. She was the one who had insisted that what they felt for each other 'remain in the room'. Where it was safe. Where it didn't impact her marvelous career. This incredible life.
"As long as I'm thinking about you, setting my sights on what I think is unattainable, there's no chance of being hurt by someone else." Like there could be anyone else. Oh, I could try, but I doubt I'd succeed.
"Jacob was right," Jack conceded. "You deserve more."
More? As in the house with the white picket fence, minivan, 2.5 kids, and golden retriever? Not someone else. Not someone better. Just more?
"I will always be there for you, no matter what. Believe me."
"So what now?" Sam questioned, still feeling so incredibly tired.
"Go save your ass."
"One last thing..." If she would've had the energy, she would've crossed the distance between them, but, as it was, she had to settle for what her mind could conjure up. She had no idea she could conjure so well! Seven years could build up quite a momentum of passion, she realized, as she kissed him passionately.
But only inside her mind.
"Never mind," Sam whispered.
It was only a dream. A wish. Can't disappoint Dad. Can't give up the marvelous career. Can't give up this incredible life.
For now, it was time to do what Jack said. It was time to save her ass.
Grace was blowing more bubbles. Sam was now becoming slightly irritated with the one illusion she couldn't quite figure out.
"What do you want?" she asked her.
"What do you mean?" Grace answered right back.
"Whoever you are," Sam fairly snapped. "I know why everyone else keeps showing up. Why are you here? What do you want from me?"
"I don't want anything," Grace answered innocently. "But you do."
Did she want what Grace personified? The little girl she had always dreamed of having, were she able to confess her feelings to Jack -- and disappoint Dad -- and give up the marvelous career -- and the incredible life?
"Then the traveller in the dark thanks you for your tiny spark. How could he see where to go if he did not twinkle so?"
Perhaps her words would make more sense if she were able to think straight. But the bubbles did give her an idea.
Had that been the plan all along? Was the little girl the cloud, as Daniel had speculated, and she was trying to somehow help her out of her current predicament -- even if it was by taking on the image of a future child the entity had somehow known she desired and projecting it into reality?
The whys and wherefores hardly mattered -- as long as it worked.
As long as she wound up back home, where she belonged....staring up at the infirmary ceiling.
Someone stirred beside her and called out, "Hey."
Sam turned toward him and slowly opened her eyes. "Jack?"
When her CO appeared surprised at the fact that she used his name, she realized that *this* was truly Jack. The real Jack. Not the imaginary Jack that had visited her on the Prometheus.
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry, Sir," Sam murmured. Back to being the perfect second-in-command. The perfect officer. Back to her marvelous career and the incredible life.
"Yes, well...a massive concussion will tend to disorient one," Jack assured her.
"How long was I out there?" Sam questioned.
"It's all relative, Carter. That whole...time space continuum thing."
Oh, please. "Sir..."
"Four days."
That's it? "Could've sworn it was weeks."
"Teal'c and Daniel say 'Hi'," Jack announced, smiling as he spoke. "They're planning a little bit of a shindig for when you're up and around. There's talk of cake."
"Cake?" Sam echoed, smiling lightly.
"My idea," Jack exclaimed proudly, flashing that gorgeous smile of his that always promised to stop her heart.
"Can't wait."
"Need anything?" Jack questioned. "Magazine? Yo-Yo?"
He's offering to share his yo-yo?? My goodness....that's really something!
"I'm fine," Sam assured him.
"Yes, you are."
Safe and sound and back where she belonged.
"Thank you, Sir."
"For what?"
For a beautiful little girl with your hair and my eyes that I was given the priviledge to see, even just for a little while.
For a passionate, heartfelt kiss that I'm too afraid to initiate in reality.
For being there and telling me to save my ass when all hope had failed me.
For being there when I woke up.
For offering to share your yo-yo.
"Nothing," Sam answered, deciding to play it safe for now.
"Think nothing of it," Jack grinned. "I've got plenty of that."
When he left, Sam closed her eyes, only to hear that joyful little voice inside her head once more.
"Twinkle, twinkle little star...."
Sam smiled. For now, Grace remained where she always had been -- deep inside her heart and waiting for her. Waiting until she was brave enough to give up her marvelous career and this incredible life for the man she loved.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to MerryKate
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