SG Romeo and Juliet
SG Romeo and Juliet
by Marina Naquadah
TITLE: SG Romeo and Juliet
AUTHOR: Marina Naquadah
EMAIL: huntem99@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Romance, Humor
PAIRING: Daniel/Janet
SPOILERS: None
SEASON / SEQUEL: any
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY: SG1 perform some scenes from Romeo and Juliet
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: (Why do they have this box?) OK folks, you know the drill. Whatever you think of it, feel free to write and tell me!
SG1 came out of the briefing room feeling annoyed, yet pleased. The SGC was to undergo reprogramming; thus no one would be going off-world for at least 2 weeks, maybe three. General Hammond had asked that all team leaders meet in the cafeteria for news of something they could do in that month. The general arrived soon after the last of them. "Thank you all for coming," he said. "As I'm sure all of you know by now, the computer systems are going to be reprogrammed, and thus no one will be going off world. The command centre has decided that every SGC team is to present one or two short skits from Shakespeare. Don't ask me why, they said 'to keep them occupied.'" He held up a hat. "I have the names of every famous Shakespearian play. You are all to come up and choose one at random, then go and discuss acts. By the way, Dr Fraiser is to go with SG1." The team leaders came and chose, one by one. Jack was near the middle. He picked out a slip, and without seeing which it was, went to find SG1.
Finally, SG1 and Janet were sitting in Sam's office, listening to Jack explain what they had to do. When he finished, Sam asked, "Sir, what play did we get?" "I don't know," Jack admitted. "I haven't looked yet." "Well, go on," Daniel prompted. "Look, and tell us." O'Neill opened the paper, and groaned, dropping the paper. Janet picked it up, looked at it and giggled. "Well?" Sam asked. "What is it?Hamlet?" "Macbeth?" Daniel asked hopefully. "Worse," was the colonel's reply. Janet, still giggling, answered them. "The most famous play of all:Romeo and Juliet."
Returning a bit later with the books, Janet found Sam writing on a slip of paper, Jack pacing the room, and Daniel sunk in thought, but he looked up as she entered. "Hey, Janet," he said. "Got the books?" "Yep," she replied. They each took a copy and began to leaf through them, looking for scenes they might be able to do. Sam had told Teal'C the plot earlier. After a few minutes, Daniel looked up. "I was thinking we could do two scenes," he said. "Which?" Jack asked. "Well, Act 2, Scene 2, the balcony scene, as one of them," he began, but was interrupted by Sam, who was at that point in the book, beginning Juliet's speech. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" "Knock it off, Sam," Janet giggled. "What's the other one?" Jack asked. "Part of Act 5, Scene 3, where the lovers kill themselves," Daniel replied. "One thing, though. The one who plays Romeo in the balcony scene will have to play Balthazar in the other scene, and Juliet in the second scene will have to do Nurse's voice in the first." "Sweet." Sam held out her hand, with three balls of screwed-up paper in her palm. Offering it to Janet, she said, "Janet will pick one name. He will be Romeo in the balcony scene. Then pick again, Romeo in the dying scene. The last will be the Friar." Closing her eyes, Janet hesitated. "Which one of us will be Juliet in which scene?" "We'll decide that later. Pick," Sam replied. Picking one piece of paper, Janet opened her eyes, unfolded the paper, and announced, "Romeo in the balcony scene shall be played by...Colonel Jack O'Neill." The colonel groaned. Daniel laughed as Janet picked the second piece. "Don't laugh Daniel," she advised, "You're Romeo in the other scene." Picking up his book, he declaimed, "Ah, dear Juliet, why art thou yet so fair?" "Sweet," Jack said again. "This means Teal'C is the Friar," Sam said. Beckoning to Janet, they retreated to the corridor. "Where're you going?" Jack asked. "Organising the Juliets," Sam replied. Janet could hardly wait till they were outside and the door was shut. "Sam, I want to be the Juliet for the second scene." "Great. I want to be the Juliet for the balcony scene." "Jack, Jack, wherefore art thou, Jack?" Janet giggled. Sam glared at her. "OK, OK. We flipped a coin, right?" "Right," Sam agreed. Coming back in, they announced the results. Daniel smiled. "Well. We'd better start learning lines, then." "That we should," Sam agreed. "The quicker you learn your lines, the easier rehearsals are." "Really," Jack replied, the usual sarcasm evident in his voice. "I speak from experience, Colonel," Sam said, faking a hurt tone. Janet giggled again. Sam glared at her, and said, "We'll meet at my place in a week to start rehearsals. That'll give you time to learn your lines, and maybe think about costuming. Be there Monday at 10am."
Janet pulled up at Sam's house at exactly 9:59 on the Monday, noting that Daniel and Teal'C were already there. Running up the steps, she knocked on the door. Sam opened it at exactly 10:00. "Perfect, Janet," she said, "Right on time." Jack arrived a few minutes later. "Colonel, you're late," Sam admonished. "Sorry, got caught up in traffic," he apologised. "And we're off duty, call me Jack." "OK Col...Jack," she answered. "Does anyone know any of their lines?" "I know most of mine," Janet answered. "I don't have that many." "I am in the same situation as Dr. Fraiser," Teal'C said. "Janet, Teal'C," the doctor responded. "I know most of mine," Daniel offered. "I'm just not sure where to begin." Janet consulted her book. "I think you should start from line 88." "Sounds good to me," Daniel replied, checking his own book. "We should finish just after Juliet kills herself." "Sweet," Jack cut in. "When should Carter and I start and finish?" "Colonel, call me Sam off duty," she answered. "Why not do the whole of Act 2, Scene 2?" "Sweet," Jack said again. While they were talking, Janet was taking the cushions off the sofas and arranging them on the floor. "Janet, what are you doing?" Sam asked, bemused. Looking up, Janet replied, "Well, I don't particularly want to hurt myself when I fall, thank you very much. I don't think Daniel wants to either." "Fall?" Jack asked. Janetlookedat him, and Daniel answered, "Jack, she stabs herself in the chest. I don't think she'd just stay sitting up. Neither would I after I drink the poison. I'm supposed to drink it, say my last lines, and fall." Jack shrugged. "Fair enough." Sam giggled, and climbed onto the kitchen bench. "I'm supposed to be above his head," she explained. Janet laughed, and lay down on the pillows, arms crossed over her chest as if she was dead. Daniel smiled softly, and sat down beside her. "How oft when men are at the point of death," he began softly, staring down at Janet, when she suddenly started and woke up. "Sorry, Daniel", she said, "but we need something for you to use as the poison." "I've already thought of that," Sam interrupted, producing a small vial from her bag. Janet smiled, and got up. As she took the vial from Sam, she asked Daniel, "What should we use as the poison?" "Juice?" he suggested. She smiled and went into the kitchen, returning a minute later with the vial full of apple juice. Handing it to Daniel, she lay down again. He put it in his pocket, and asked Sam and Jack, "Are you just gong to watch us, or are you going to rehearse too?" "Oh, yeah. We'd better get going," Sam said, giggling. They retreated to the other room, while Janet assumed her 'dead' pose again. Opening one eye, she said, "By the way,Romeo, make sure you talk loudly enough so the audience can here you, not just me." She closed the eye and Daniel began again.
The colonel grumbled as he followed Sam into the other room, "Of all the plays, we had to getRomeo and Juliet." "Oh stop complaining, Jack," Sam said breezily. "Come on, you get the first lines in this scene." He signed, and began his speech.
Half an hour later, they went into the kitchen to get a drink, and saw Daniel lying on the cushions reading Balthazar's lines. Teal'C was reading his lines completely flatly, with no statement in his voice. "Teal'C, for the hundredth time, show some emotion!" Daniel said, exasperated. "You're supposed to be concerned, maybe even a little frightened, not emotionless!" Catching sight of Sam and Jack, he asked, "Could one of you read the Friar's lines so Teal'C can hear what they're supposed to sound like?" "I'll read them, and Jack can read Balthazar's," Sam offered. "He's got to read them anyway." She read them perfectly, sounding concerned, and almost frightened, like Daniel specified. When she finished, Daniel said, "That's what we need those lines to sound like, OK?" Teal'C looked rather dubious, so Janet cut in with, "Do you want us to show you what we've done so far?" "Knock yourselves out," the colonel answered. "OK," Janet answered, "Daniel, ready when you are." She lay down again, and Daniel sat down beside her and recited his speech. As he spoke, Sam felt a few tears trickle down her cheek, and the colonel found himself trying not to cry. When Daniel drank the 'poison' and 'died', Sam sniffed quietly. Teal'C and Jack did their bit, and Janet woke up. The look on Janet's face when she saw Daniel 'dead' nearly had Sam burst into tears. When she finished and 'stabbed' herself, Sam had tears streaming down her face. Wiping them away quickly, she said, "That was wonderful! Just brilliant!" "Yeah, pretty good for a first rehearsal," Jack put in. Janet quietly noted the tears in Sam's eyes, and the tiny glistenings on the colonel's face. "Well, show us what you've done," Daniel prompted. Sam smiled, and climbed onto the table again. Jack knelt below her and began his speech. Both Daniel and Janet noticed the love in their eyes as they spoke. "Brill," Daniel said as they finished. "Sweet," the colonel replied. "By the way, Janet," Sam said, "how are you going to get the illusion of stabbing yourself?" Janet grinned. "I'm good friends with Cassie's drama teacher," she answered. "I know she has a dagger that I can use. The blade retracts into the handle when you press on it." "Great," Sam replied. "Don't suppose she could get us costumes, too?" "Why don't you ask her?" Janet replied. "She should be here right about..." The doorbell rang. "...Now. I'll get the door." Sam looked at the door, and burst out laughing. Teal'C raised his eyebrow again, and quickly donned a baseball cap as Janet let in Cassie and another woman. Cassie bounced in, saying, "Hi everyone!" "Hi Cassie!" came the response. "You going to stay and watch the rehearsals?" Sam asked. "Nope. I'm going to Maria's house. See ya!" and she bounced out again. Janet laughed. "Guys, this is Miss Freeborne, Cassie's drama teacher." "Call me Anna," the teacher added. Sam's first thought was: "She lookscool." Long black hair, tall, and the most outrageous clothes. "Anna, this is Jack, Sam, Daniel and Tea...Tom," Janet said, making the introductions. "You want a coffee or something?" "No, thanks," Anna replied. "I had some just before I left, so the caffeine should just be starting to kick in." Daniel smiled. "By the way, I brought the dagger," she added, pulling it out of her bag. "Excellent!" Janet grinned. "See?" she demonstrated it. "Cool," Daniel commented. "So," Anna said, clapping her hands, "You want to show me how you're doing so far?" "OK," Janet said. "Which scene do you want to see first?" "We'll start with the balcony scene, shall we?" "Right," Sam answered, getting on the table again. Anna ginned. "Clever," she commented. Sam grinned. Jack rolled his eyes, and knelt below her again. When they finished, Anna said, "That was great! One word of advice, Jack, don't speak quite so fast. Ok, Janet, do your stuff." "Hang on a sec," Sam said, nicking into the kitchen. She returned with a box of tissues. "Trust me, you'll need them." Sure enough, when Janet and Daniel had finished, Anna had a few tissues in her hands. "Absolutely fantastic!" she beamed. Turning to the men, she asked, "Could one of you give me a hand to bring in some boxes from the car?" "Sure," Jack and Daniel volunteered. Three boxes were summarily brought in. They contained costumes used in previous productions of the play. Janet quickly snapped up a beautiful white dress. "This is the sort of thing she would have worn, isn't it?" "Yep. Great choice," Sam approved. She chose a flowing blue one. Anna picked out a rough brown habit and sandals for Teal'C. "Tell me I don't have to wear tights," O'Neill pleaded. Sam laughed. Anna grinned. Daniel reached in and pulled out a pair of black tights, a white shirt, and a black jacket. "What do you think?" he asked. "Cool," Anna answered. "That's the kind of thing he would have worn. He's in mourning, and sneaking in at night." "What about Jack?" Sam asked. Anna pulled out a set of fancy hose and jacket for Jack. "Sweet," was his only response. Anna grinned. "Go and try them on," she urged. He rolled his eyes, and vanished into another room. Daniel slipped into the spare room to put his on, and Teal'C went to the bathroom. Janet slipped her dress on, and liked what she saw. She hoped Daniel did, too. Sam put hers on, and turned to Janet. They grinned at each other. "You look great!" they complimented each other. Anna laughed. "Sweet," came a voice from behind them. The girls turned to see Daniel, Jack and Teal'C, in costume, standing behind them. What Jack saw took his breath away. Sam looked... he couldn't find the words to describe her. Beautiful was an understatement. Daniel was, for once in his life, speechless. For a second, he thought an angel had fallen from heaven and landed in Sam's living room. Sam and Janet were similarly impressed. Anna saw the looks on their faces, and grinned. Cassie had hinted that she thought her mother was in love with one of the men she worked with. She decided to break the spell. "Great, guys!" she said, snapping them out of it. "They fit?" "Yeah, fine," Daniel replied. "Jack?" "Sweet," he replied. "Tom?" "These fit, AnnaFreeborne," Teal'C replied. "Just call me Anna," she answered, grinning. Janet appeared to be thinking, then asked, "Anna, have you ever producedRomeo and Juliet?" "Yeah, twice," Anna replied. "Did your Juliet bleed?" "Yes, a lot. I could get some of the stuff we used, if you'd like." "Yeah, that'd be great!" Janet replied. "Hope it washes out of the dress," Jack commented. "It will," Anna assured him. "When do you perform?" "I talked to Hammond yesterday." The colonel answered the room. "We perform in 5 days." "5 days? Holy Hannah!" the major exclaimed. "Come on, then! Back to rehearsals!" Anna commanded.
SG1 returned to the SGC the next day to do a bit of work. Daniel had just finished translating a piece of pottery, and had run out of coffee. He decided to wander down to the infirmary and ask Janet if she would like to go to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee and maybe a line rehearsal. He found her in her office, stabbing at a plastic bag of water. Finally, the bag burst. Luckily, it was in a bowl. She appeared satisfied, and looked up to see Daniel. She smiled, and motioned for him to come in. "What on earth were you doing?" he asked, coming in. She grinned, and answered, "I need to know how hard to stab the bloodbag I'm going to have." Daniel nodded. "Good idea," Daniel replied. "Look, do you want to come to the cafeteria and join me in a cup of coffee?" "Hmm, do you think there'll be room for both of us?" she answered, grinning. Daniel laughed, shaking his head. Janet giggled. "I'll be there in a couple of minutes. Save me a seat."
When Daniel got to the cafeteria, he found Jack and Sam already there. Sam saw him, and beckoned him over. He went and got a cup of coffee first, then went and sat down. "Hi, guys," he said. "Hey, Daniel," Sam replied. "What's up?" "Well, I just finished translating the pottery fragments SG4 brought back a few weeks ago," he began, but was interrupted by Janet. "Hello!" she said, "What's up, guys?" "The major and I were running through our lines, then Space Monkey here turned up, then you arrived," Jack said. "Cool," Janet replied. "I was practising on the bloodbag." "Bloodbag?" Sam asked. "For when I stab myself," Janet explained. Sam nodded. "Sweet," Jack said. Just then Hammond came in. Spotting them, he came over. "Hello, General," Jack said. "Hello, SG1, doctor," the general answered. "How are your scenes going?" "Great," Janet replied. "Which scenes are you doing?" Hammond asked. "Well, we gotRomeo and Juliet," the colonel said, "and we're doing the balcony scene and the scene where they kill themselves." "Who's who in which scene?" Janet answered, "Sam's Juliet in the balcony scene, and the colonel's her Romeo..." the general managed to stifle a grin, "and I'm Juliet in the other scene, Daniel's Romeo, and Teal'C's the Friar." Hammond nodded, and left. As he wandered down to his office, he grinned. "The betting pools are going to go wild about this," he thought.
Finally, it was the day before the performances. SG1, Janet and Anna had gathered at Janet's house for a final dress rehearsal. Sam, Anna, and Janet were trying to get the bloodbag to sit properly. "Dammit," Janet snarled. "How in the heck am I supposed to get this thing to sit properly?" "Calmdown,Janet," Sam soothed. "We'll get it soon." Finally, they got it. Daniel and Jack came in, both in costume. Anna nicked over to her bag and pulled out the dagger in a scabbard, and handed it to Daniel. He tied it round his waist. "OK, we ready?" Jack asked. Who's going first?" Sam asked. "You can," Janet said. "Proper order, anyway." "Sweet," Jack replied. Sam laughed, and climbed onto the table. Jack knelt beneath her, and began his speech. Janet again noted the immense love in his eyes and voice as he spoke. Daniel saw pure love shining in Sam's eyes as she spoke her lines. Janet read the Nurse's lines beautifully, and the scene finished. Janet fixed up her cushion bed, and lay down. Daniel walked over and sat down beside her and began. By the time the scene finished, Sam had several tissues in her hands. Jack hurriedly wiped away a tear before anyone noticed. Daniel sat up, wiping his face. Janet had used water in the bag, not the blood mixture. Janet passed him a towel. "Thanks," he said, attempting to dry his shirt. Anna laughed. "Just stick them in the dryer," she said. "We perform last tomorrow," Sam put in, "so there won't be any trouble." "Great!" Janet said. Sam, Jack, Anna and Teal'C left together. Daniel turned to Janet and asked, "How do you think the betting pools will react when they see Jack and Sam perform tomorrow?" Janet grinned. "They are going to go mad." As Jack and Sam got into his car, the colonel asked, "What do you think people will think when they see Danny-boy and Janet?" Sam laughed. "You know, she demanded she be Daniel's Juliet. The betting pools about those two are going to goinsane."
The atmosphere was charged with excitement when SG1 arrived next day. The performances were to begin at 2:00. SG1 got changed and made their way to the cafeteria where a makeshift stage had been set up. SG7 was going first. They performed 2 scenes fromMacbeth. SG2 was next, performing fromHamlet. The afternoon progressed well, with many fine performances, and some not so fine. Finally, it was SG1's turn. A rough balcony had been set up for Sam, but she couldn't really make an entrance, so she was going to start in darkness, and be lit up. Everyone in the SGC had been waiting for this. As Jack made his entrance, many of the women in the audience sighed. Everyone had to admit he lookedgood. Not one person failed to note the look in his eyes as he spoke to her. She especially saw it, and returned it. When they finished, they received massive applause. There was a short pause while the balcony was shifted and the alter/bed put in its place. Janet had filled the bloodbag and finally gotten it to sit properly. While it was still dark, she lay down on the bed, and closed her eyes. Just before the scene was due to begin, Sam was looking for some tissues, as she knew she would need them. She felt someone come up behind her, and press several into her hand. "I figured you'd need them," a voice murmured. She smiled. "Thanks, Jack," she whispered. He smiled, and slipped away to get into position and she waited. Daniel came on, and began his speech. As he neared the end, several sniffs were heard from the women in the audience. As Daniel spoke line 115: "A dateless bargain to engrossing Death," Sam saw General Hammond blow his nose. "Thus with a kiss I die." Daniel spoke his last line, and after kissing Janet, drank the 'poison', and 'died'. Several sobs were heard. Teal'C made his entrance, speaking his lines perfectly. He talked with the colonel, and Janet woke up. Sam had been trying desperately hard not to cry, but when she saw Janet's face when Teal'C told her Romeo was dead, she burst into tears. She wept along with Janet for the dead Romeo, then Janet said her final lines, and stabbed herself. The bloodbag burst as it was supposed to, and Janet appeared to be bleeding. As the lights cut, there was more massive applause. The general came on and thanked all the performers. When he finished, the audience called for SG1 to come out. They were called from backstage and received a standing ovation. The assembly broke up, and Daniel and Jack were soon surrounded by adoring women. They managed to fight their way out to where Sam and Janet were watching, trying to hold back giggles. "Come on Juliet," Jack said to Sam, "I'll give you a lift home." Janet told Daniel to wait for a minute, and vanished to the back of the hall. She then went to a lab where she stayed for about ten minutes. Meanwhile Daniel waited. Everyone who passed him either called him Romeo, or complimented him on the performance. Finally, Janet reappeared. They drove to Janet's place in silence, and when they arrived, she invited him in for coffee. He offered to make it, and as he waited for the kettle to boil, she went into the living room. He brought the coffee into her, and they sat down in front of the TV. Daniel asked her, "What were you doing in the lab?" Janet grinned mischievously, and pressed play. She had taped their performance. When the tape finished, Janet was crying. Daniel had a few tears running down his face. "We were really good, weren't we?" he murmured. "Yep," Janet nodded. She snuggled down into his arms and turned her face to his. "Cara mia, my Juliet," he murmured. She smiled again, as he kissed her goodnight.
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