The Blue Feather
The Blue Feather
by Lt. Gold
Summary: Summary: Sam left her post in Heroes to go to Jack's side, this is a what if about consequences if being influenced by romantic emotion in battle and why the regulations exist.
Season/spoilers: Spoilers for Heroes, 100 Days, Chimera
Category: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Episode Related: 317 A Hundred Days, 715 CHIMERA, 717 HEROES Part 1, 718 HEROES Part 2
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG
Warnings: character death, none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 02/29/04
Title: The Blue Feather Author: LtGold Email: ltgold2000@yahoo.com Category: sort of S/J, drama Rating: PG for situation Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. Original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author. Archive: Anywhere Author's note: If you think Sam has a right to be on the team and have feelings for her C.O., don't read this. Summary: Sam left her post in Heroes to go to Jack's side, this is a what if about consequences if being influenced by romantic emotion in battle and why the regulations exist. Season/spoilers: Spoilers for Heroes, 100 Days, Chimera WARNINGS: * * * * * * * * * * description of character death
Time slowed to a crawl and it seemed to Sam that many things were happening all at once. The colonel fell to the ground in a burst of flame and smoke as a tel'tak passed overhead; a Jaffa ran past her position, a clean target one part of her brain knew she should be aiming her weapon at. It was clear shot right at the middle of his back where a long braid adorned with two blue feathers bounced in time with his motion.
But there was the colonel.
Abandoning her post, Sam ran to the colonel's side. Putting a hand to his wound, she realized there was no wound. Only a smouldering hole where the weapon had struck him. Doctor Lee's prototype armor had done its job well. There was no blood, no wound, no apparent injury at all. The impact had probably broken a few ribs, like it had done with Siler during testing, but the colonel would live.
Calling for the corpsmen to bring a stretcher, Sam hear Daniel's voice over the radio calling for medics in the same breath as she did. As the medics, loaded the colonel and sent the stretcher off to the gate with two airmen, Sam raised her weapon and followed the medics toward the treeline where Janet and Daniel were taking care of Lieutenant Wells. It seemed to her as if the Jaffa fire had diminished somewhat. She hoped that meant they were retreating.
Sam hoped Daniel's emergency wasn't too serious. The lull in the action could mean a retreat or just a regrouping but it was a perfect opportunity to get their people off 666 and home. Besides, she really wanted to get back to base and make sure the colonel was okay.
If not for the new armor, the man could have died. While part of her had recently made the decision to let go of her feelings for her commander, an even bigger part of her was finding that goal harder to accomplish. Pete was great - smart, funny, loving - but it was so hard to let go.
When the hell had her life gotten so complicated? When had it started to matter so much whether she had someone in her life or not?
Breaking through the brush, Sam came up short, gun to gun, with Bosworth pf SG-13. With a nervous nod, he motioned down the embankment where Sam could see Daniel's head bent over two people lying on the ground. Two people?
As she got closer, Sam could see strands of long auburn hair sticking out from beneath a cap of the one Daniel was desperately giving CPR to. Moving forward more slowly, she could see the blood. So much blood. Covering the saturated jacket, Daniel's hands, the ground all around.
It was Janet.
The brown eyes Sam had looked to so often for help and friendship stared sightlessly at the sky above as Daniel tried again and again to breathe life back into a body that no longer held the dynamic soul that was Janet Fraiser until the medics finally convinced him to let them take over.
Sam recognized that Daniel was in shock, but she couldn't seem to force herself forward. First the colonel and now Janet, it was just too much.
Colonel Dixon's voice interrupted the silent scene and Sam turned away finally so she could collect herself enough to reply. Only then did she see the body of the Jaffa. Bosworth muttered something about the Jaffa slipping past him, that he didn't see the man until it was too late. Sam was just glad Bosworth had gotten the murdering bastard.
"Major Carter, report!"
Sam forced her voice into an even tone years of training had made possible under the worst of conditions. "They're loading Wells for transport, sir, but Doctor Fraiser ---"
Sam paused as something beneath the Jaffa's shoulder caught her attention. Kneeling down slowly, she reached a trembling hand out to pull it out.
"Major?"
It was a long braid of dark hair, the strands intertwined with two blue feathers.
"Report, Major!"
Pulling one of the feathers free and clutching it in her hand, Sam rose then turned to face the tableau of faces now looking at her strangely.
She wanted to tell them it wasn't her fault, that she hadn't let her emotions affect the performance of her duty, that Janet wasn't dead because she'd failed to take the shot when she had the chance because she was more concerned with saving the colonel, that Janet wasn't dead because the Jaffa she had let pass had broken through the treeline behind the place where Bosworth stood guard over Daniel and Janet as they worked to stabilize Wells. She wanted to say all those things and more. But she couldn't.
For the first time in years, Sam saw herself clearly. Saw what she'd let her emotions turn her into, saw the compromise she'd made and the lie she had told everyone, including herself.
`Is this going to be a problem?' Janet had asked.
Sam had said no then, but now she knew the lie for what it was. She wasn't superhuman, she should never have tried to believe she could handle her feelings for the colonel to the point of letting it affect the job she did. She had lied, time and time again. To the general, to countless others, to herself. So many lies all leading her to where she stood now between the body of a dead Jaffa and the body of her friend. Frozen in time, unable to answer the calls of Colonel Dixon, unable to meet the blue eyes of Daniel as he stood and approached her slowly.
Blue eyes. He had such blue eyes. Blue. Like the feather.
The End.
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