A Time For Change
A Time For Change
by Louise
A Time For Change
AUTHOR: Louise
EMAIL: louc14@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Romance, AU
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SPOILERS: The movie
SEASON / SEQUEL: N/A
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: mild profanity
SUMMARY: To everything there is a season, a time for love and loss, and a time for growth and change.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
Kayla's POV:
Nobody particularly likes change. I don't know why, but I'm no exception. So, when my Dad told me we were moving from our comfortable two story house in San Diego to a two bedroom apartment in Colorado Springs, I was surprised to say the least.
Sure, I threw a hundred and one tantrums. And I cried and I cried some more, but it didn't change Dad's mind. Apparently he knew what was best for me, yeah right.
"Daddy, I don't want to move. I like San Diego. Mum's here and so are my friends. Why do we gotta go anyways?" I cried, trying to persuade him, but my father was determined to leave San Diego.
"I just think we need a change of scenery." He just stated, going back to sanding down his latest project.
My Dad's a Colonel in the United States Air Force, and has a tendency to fiddle with anything nearby, so when I suggested getting a hobby, Dad chose restoring old furniture and selling it. But I'm getting off track, back our little discussion.
"Dad, is this because Mum's getting married to Tom? Because if it is, you can't just keep running away from it." I nearly slapped my father for his arrogance, when he stopped his sanding and turned away from me.
"Dad. Dad look at me," when assured I had his attention, I continued my speech. The one I'd been planning ever since I'd found out Mum was back in the dating game. You see my father, Jack O'Neill, is sometimes entirely transparent. Transparent and completely predictable.
"You and Mum have been divorced for over four years now. And I know ever since Charlie died, it's been rough, and we've had our hard times. But Dad, you can't keep running forever, Mum and I have gotten on with our lives, and Daddy you should too. Charlie would've wanted us to be happy, Dad, you can't be happy when you deny the truth to the world and try to prolong the inevitable." My best friend, Melissa, thinks TV is starting to rub off on me, apparently she's right. Ever since I started watching Dawson's Creek, my vocabulary has widened immensely.
Dad let's out a snort and says to me, "You must have been hanging around Daniel too much."
Now that was funny. Although Dad's right. I met Daniel Jackson when Daddy invited him to my fourteenth birthday party. Mum and Dad had divorced after Charlie had accidentally shot himself with Dad's hand gun. After that, Mum and Dad's relationship fell from bad to worse. I was only eleven, but I knew. I knew that my parents marriage was failing, don't ask me how...I just...knew.
Sure Charlie was a pain in the ass, like every little brother is. But his life ended way too soon. He was only eight. When he died, I took comfort in the fact that he died quickly and didn't suffer any pain. I didn't realize then that we were the one's who suffered. Mum and Dad thought I was ignorant to the fact that they fought all the time, but hey, I lived in the house too. I remember Mum telling me that everything would be fine, but I didn't believe it. How could it be fine? My family was falling apart right in front of my eyes and I was helpless to stop it. I guess I was too young to understand the loss and guilt Daddy felt, I caught him several times in Charlie's room, and once, when I came home early from school, I found him sitting on Charlie's bed with his field gun. I knew it wasn't loaded, Dad wouldn't make the same mistake twice, but I still got mad. I yelled and screamed at him. I took my hurt and suffering out on my father. I yelled that it was all his fault, that if he was around more and loved us more it wouldn't have happened. I broke into tears and locked myself in my room. I remember being so upset that I refused to come out and I refused to eat for a week. But then eventually, I found out you can't throw-up if you haven't got anything in your stomach.
When I did finally come out, I didn't talk to anyone for three months. Mum thought it was so extreme, that she nearly sent me to a therapist. And when I finally did speak, Dad was gone. Apparently, he'd gone on some secret mission for the government or something, and he didn't return for a couple of weeks. Mum decided that she didn't want him back, but I took solace in the fact that he wrote me a letter. A goodbye letter.
Dear Kayla,
When you get this note, I will be gone. I'm sorry I can't tell you where and if I'll be back, but know this... I love you sweetheart, and nothing in the world can change that.
I'm sorry for making Charlie go away, and I'm sorry he can't come home, but that doesn't change the fact that we're a family. We always will be.
I love you munchkin.
Love
Daddy.
Mum tried to drag me to my grandma's in Pennsylvania, but I wouldn't budge in my room, keeping an ear on the front door, hoping that any day Daddy would open it and he'd be home. But, Dad wrote that letter like he was talking to a pre-schooler. Granted, I was only eleven at the time, but I was smarter than I looked. I knew Daddy would most likely not be returning. But he did, and I was so happy, and apparently so was he. Wherever the airforce sent him, it sure as hell made a difference. It was like when Charlie died, a part of Dad and Mum died too, but in Dad it was suddenly reborn. In Mum, it wasn't. Even now, five years later, Mum still blames Daddy for Charlie's death, and I know Dad does too. No matter how much people try to convince him, he still carries that burden on his shoulders.
Speaking of convincing, that's what I was trying to do to my father. Until finally, I gave up. I know, I know my grandfather, God rest his soul, would be appalled at me. I can almost hear his voice saying, 'Kayla Margaret, you're an O'Neill! Us O'Neill's never give up.'
And then I can almost hear my grandmother, who lives in Colorado also, saying 'Shut up Joseph! Don't listen to him Kayla, your father has the O'Neill temper. Just go along with it, you'll find God gave your father a reason to move to Colorado.'
And I didn't know what that reason was, besides seeing Grandma Maggie again, until I started school. Until I met my Science professor. Until I met Sam.
I guess I should've said this in the start of my little story thang, but I'll introduce myself.
My name is Kayla Margaret O'Neill (I was named after my great, great grandmother) and I'm sixteen years old. I was born on the 22 nd of March, 1984 to Sara Mary O'Neill [Collins] and Jack Patrick O'Neill. I weighed an average of 5 pounds 7 ounces and was born at 4:29 am in the Andrews Airforce base's infirmary. I was the first baby to be born there, and they even name a street after me. My grandparent's are Margaret 'Maggie' O'Neill [Shorten] and James Patrick O'Neill. They immigrated from Ireland years and years ago. Grandpa James died of a heart-attack when I was seven, and Charlie was four.
Charles Jonathan O'Neill was my little brother, and I've already told you the circumstances concerning him. He was three years younger than me and a little monster.
My parents divorced when I was eleven, mainly because of Charlie's death and a few little problems that had surfaced during that trying time. My father got custody of me, because I chose him. It really wasn't a matter of choosing him over Mum, but Mum told me to do whatever made me happy, and Daddy always makes me happy. What can I say, I'm a daddy's girl. I still visit Mum regularly, aside from the fact that she lives three blocks away. I'm allergic to tomatoes so I never eat them, I did once though, but I think I was trying to get out of an algebra test at the time, hmmm?
I have a dog. He's a Labrador, or a golden retriever, named Hercules, don't ask me why I was going through this Greek mythology phase, still am according to Dad. Anyway, I hate girly magazines because all those chicks are anorexic and could hide behind a broomstick, because they're that thin. I hate pig-tails, mainly because my Mum dressed me up as 'Pippy-Long-Stockings' for Halloween when I was ten, and I've never been able to live it down. And I hate, with a vengeance, the movie 'Mar's attacks'.
Dad loved it, only God knows why, but he said it was hilarious the way those little green dudes head's blew up. I'm beginning to think my Dad has a masochistic streak that's dying to break free. We went to see it when Dad came back from one of his mysterious missions, and I ended up falling asleep as did all the other people in the theatre. Dad had to wake all three of us up to tell us it was finished.
Anyway, I think that's about all on me. I met the previously mentioned Daniel Jackson at my fourteenth birthday party. Daniel was living in Europe for a year, when his wife was kidnapped and after two years of searching, she was killed. That's what Dad say's anyway, but I'm not stupid. You do actually learn a thing or two, when you watch MacGyver. Like how to hack into your father's laptop for instance. I found out Daniel lived in a place called Abydos for a year with his wife Sha're, but she was captured by someone called Apophis and made a Goa'uld. I found out, through my passion for History that Apophis was a snake god, and battled Re, the sun god, every night, but Re was triumphant as the sun continued to rise.
I also found out, through Pentagon classified files, shhh by the way, don't tell anyone that, that the Goa'ulds are a parasitic alien race that infect a human's body and merge to become one, and not a good merging too. They're really, REALLY bad.
I also met Teal'c, another one of Dad's friends. He's really weird, he has this gold emblem on his forehead that represents slavery to false God's. One day, when Dad came home from his missions, I confronted him on the missions and everything that had happened in the last four years. Sure, he tried to lie about it, deny it, and then finally, he told me the truth, about everything. About some kid named Ska'ra, a kid who reminded him of Charlie. Daddy told me about the Goa'ulds, Teal'c, Re, all these things. All about his missions and adventures. He made me promise never to tell anyone, which I never have.
Anyway, when we moved, we stayed with Grandma for a couple of weeks, while we went house hunting.
It turned out that two bedroom apartment in the Colorado city, was entirely too noisy, cramped and in a, pardon my French, shitty neighbourhood.
So, we moved to a beautiful double story house in the suburbs. I found out during my interrogation with Dad, that the real reason he wanted to move to Colorado was it was closer to work. Dad worked with a program called The Stargate Command, or the SGC. He went through a thing called a Stargate It was alien technology developed by people called 'the ancients' , that created an interdementional wormhole through time and space. It was really cool.
I never realized by father had such a cool job, he was a Buck Rogers meets Captain Kirk. Groovy, huh?
Friday; My first day of school was humiliating. I thought they were going to send one of those audio visual geeks who talks about their computers or their calculators or whatever. But I was wrong. This really hunky guy named Josh Vickers from the soccer team came to show me around, and it turned out that we were in the same homeroom together.
"Excuse me, are you K. O'Neill?" a voice from behind me asked. I turned around and looked into the biggest, most bluest eyes I've ever seen. It was then that I knew Josh Vickers was the most popular guy in the school. That and the fact I previously saw his photo in the hall, he was class president.
"Yeah, hi. Do I know you?" I asked, trying to act nonchalant and actually succeeding.
"I'm Josh Vickers. I'm sorry, but there must be some mistake, are you sure you're K. O'Neill?"
"Pretty sure, unless I've been lied to for the last sixteen years." I humored, god this guy is gorgeous.
He smiled, showing the straightest white teeth I've ever seen in my entire life. "Well apparently someone's made the mistake as I'm supposed to be showing around a Mr. Kyle O'Neill."
"You're kidding? Well, I guess there is a mistake. My names Kayla. Kayla O'Neill."
He shook my outstretched hand, and we proceeded to the office, where I spent the remainder of pastoral straightening out the mess of mistaken genders.
It was in first period that things really started to get embarrassing. I'd entered English to find a woman meaner than Mrs. Tingle and uglier than the wicked witch of the West. "You're late, young lady. I'm Ms. Westmirer, and welcome to my English class." I handed Ms. Westmirer my credentials and took a seat in the middle of the class. "Well Miss O'Neill, why don't you come up and introduce yourself." Ms. Westmirer suggested. I could almost see the evil glint in her gray eyes. Reluctantly I rose to my feet and walked to the front of the class. "You'll be marked on proper grammar and speaking techniques. After you introduce yourself, I will elect students to ask questions. Get it?"
"Got it." I replied. I was being marked on an introductory speech, how entirely lame! God, I miss San Diego. Meanwhile, if I was there, Melissa would be making faces at me, making me laugh uncontrollably.
Carla would be mimicking my old English teacher Mr. Carlton. And my other best friend Jodi would be starring at whatever boy had become her selection of the day. God, I miss San Diego!
"Hi. My name is Kayla O'Neill, I'm sixteen, and I obviously go to this school now. I moved to Colorado from San Diego with my Dad. We moved because he wanted to be closer to work and my ill grandmother.
I have no brothers..." my voice suddenly stopped. No, not now, I can't choke up now. Besides everything compared with my Dad, Charlie was our weak spot. I willed my voice to go on, although you couldn't half tall it was forced. "or sisters. My parents are divorced, and my Mum lives in San Diego with her fiancé, Tom. I have a dog, his name's Hercules. My favourite colour is red and I love all music. Ahh, I think that's about all. Any questions?" I gulped as half the hands raised in the class room. It was only ten o'clock, school didn't finish 'till three. It was then that I realised it was going to be a long day!
By lunch, half the school knew who I was. Tiffany, the captain of the cheerleading team, offered me a tryout but, I declined, stating I hate cheering and I have absolutely no school spirit, which was entirely true.
Taylor McPhee, the most 'popular' girl in the school wanted me to sit with her and her group.
"Kayla, you have to sit with us, it's absolutely necessary and we're the most acceptable one's to sit with."
"OK." I agreed. Hey, I was game, I'd try anything once (except cheerleading. I did it in seventh grade and I nearly chucked when I heard the cheers). But after five minutes of hearing them ask about boyfriends, if they filled out their sweater properly and had they broke a nail, I'd had enough.
I got up with an exasperated sigh. "Kay love, where are you going?" Taylor asked, blowing a bubble with her gum.
"To find a bunch of non-self centered, unselfish people to talk to than sit around here listening to a bunch of boring, conceited bimbo's who really need to conceal the black roots in their blonde hair. Oh and by the way, a couple of words. Haven't you ever heard of a couple of things called wonder bras and acrylic?"
with that I walked off with my bag and lunch tray.
I could here the shocked gasps and whispers echoing throughout the cafeteria, until a lone person in the far corner near the exit doors, started to clap. After a few silent moments, the student body found something else more interesting, and turned their attention elsewhere. I saw the girl whom was clapping wave me over, so I walked over to her.
"Hi, that was so amazing!" she exclaimed, "I have never seen anyone stand up to Taylor McPhee like that. Well, anyone besides me."
I sat next to her and smiled. "Thanks, I'm Kayla O'Neill." I outstretched my hand and she shook it briefly before returning to her fries.
"Erica Stanford. You know Kayla, if you want we can hang around together. As you can see, I'm a loner, it's the way I like it. I guess you can say everyone's afraid of me."
"Why?" I asked, biting into a crispy piece of lettuce. She smiled a little and was about to answer when a dark shadow stood over us.
"Well, I heard there was a new student at the school, but I didn't know she was so bold." The blonde woman sat herself down opposite myself and Erica, and took a fries from my new friends plate, without Erica's objecting.
The woman sitting adjacent from me was apparently tall with short blonde hair and blue eyes. She was wearing jeans and a sweater, looking casual, but obviously an authority figure.
"I'm Sam Carter, science professor. And you are?"
"Kayla O'Neill, new student." We shook hands briefly, but I still had a sense of déjà vu. Sam Carter, Sam Carter, where have I heard that name before. While Miss Carter chatted with Erica briefly, I took the time to flash through my memories until I'd finally remembered who she was.
"Sam Carter, that's who you are!" I exclaimed suddenly, making my conversational buddies jump.
"Miss C, she all right?" Erica asked, raising an eyebrow in my direction.
"Major Samantha Carter, General Jacob Carter's daughter right?" I asked 'Miss C' as Erica had referred to her.
"Yeah, but nobody's called me Major for the last two years. Have we met?" She asked. I could see that she too, was trying to remember.
"Yeah," I answered, "at a presidential dinner two years ago. My Dad won a commendation and I had to go. I met you and your father briefly."
"Oh yeah." She said, when the memory struck. "I remember, your father's Colonel Jack O'Neill right? Oh yeah, how are you doing Kayla? You've cut your hair haven't you?" She asked. I some how noticed
the forced way she mentioned my father's name. Like she was pretending not to know who he was.
"Yes, I got tired of all the messing around with it." I referred to my short brown hair. Dad said it looked better than before. Unfortunately I got my fathers brown hair and my mothers blue eyes.
"I know exactly what you mean." She laughed, fingering her own short blonde hair. Suddenly, the bell rang, and we where interrupted form our reminiscing. We all stood, Erica and myself disposing of our lunch trays and proceeded to the door. "Well, what do you girls have now?" Miss Carter asked, trailing us to our lockers.
"Geography and science." Replied Erica opening her locker and dumping her bag in. I absently opened my own locker which was conveniently situated beside Erica's, and retrieved my own books. Something registered that there was a white sheet of paper sitting on top of my history books, which wasn't there this morning.
"Getting love letters already Kayla, and it's only been several hours." Erica teased. Miss Carter grinned slightly and I blushed with embarrassment as I opened the 'love letter'. To my discovery and Erica's astonishment, it wasn't at all a love letter, it was Josh Vickers phone number.
Kayla,
555-2905. Call me
Josh J
"Well, well, well. It seems little Miss 'wonder bras and acrylic' has caught the fancy of one Josh Vickers."
I smiled and pushed Erica in the way of our geography class.
"Erica, you talk too much." Was my only reply. For the rest of Geography, Erica sat on my left and on my right was one totally delectable Josh Vickers. On the outside, I was cool and collected. But on the inside, I was reeling.
"Now, an atom is made up of three things that circle the nucleus, these things are...." Miss C, as I had taken to calling her, thanks to Erica, trailed off. Obviously expecting a member of the class to complete the sentence and show their intelligence. When no one raised their hand to answer the question, I grew tired and raised mine. I know total geek act, trying to earn brownie points on the first day with a teacher, but hey, I was smart and I knew the answer. What's so wrong with that?
"Kayla?" Miss C asked expectedly.
"Protons, neutrons and electrons circle the nucleus, thereby making up an atom."
"Very good Miss O'Neill. Now, does anybody know what a compound is?"
I ended up answering every question she threw the classes way and being referred by the other students as loser and Ms know-it-all.
"Kayla, can I speak to you for a moment?" Miss C asked. Erica, pausing a moment to say she'd wait outside for me, I told her she didn't have to in which she left and closed the door behind her.
This was it, I knew I'd went to far with answering all the questions. I should've just kept my mouth shut and not have said anything.
"You're very good at science." She stated. I must have looked ridiculous because she laughed at me. The reflection from a fog mirror showed I looked like a fish out of water. That statement actually surprised me. I was at a loss for words, and I am never short of words.
"Thanks," I finally said, when I'd come around, "it comes from my Mum. My Dad hates science."
She laughed, "I know." Then, she suddenly looked up and tried to cover her words, but I'd already caught up.
"How do you know? You only met my father once and that wasn't even long enough to discover his lack of scientific ability." OK, so logic decided to kick in and I studied the evidence. Miss C, only met Dad once, yet how did she know he was...ignorant to science? And why would a Major in the USAF, who had the ability to become a general in the future, now scientist, teaching in a public high school. A small part of my mind suggested, that maybe she used to work with dad? But dad was working with the SGC....ohmigod!
Miss C, was Major S Carter, from all those mission reports I read! Transferred from the pentagon to the SGC, after Daniel Jackson made the stargate work. No wonder she was so smart, she'd studied the gate technology for two years before Danny made it work! Oh. My. God.
"The stargate." I suddenly busted. Don't you just hate when your mouth moves and it doesn't consult your brain first? I noticed her face registering shock. I'm guessing she hardly expected a sixteen year old kid from San Diego to ask about classified material.
"How do you know about that?" She asked. Uh-oh, know I was in trouble, with a capital T.
"That's...irrelevant," I stammered, "You used to work with my dad, didn't you? That explains why Dad acted so weird when we met at the dinner? Why did you leave the SGC?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.
"That's classified." She stated, picking up her books, and leading me out of the lab.
"With all due respect Miss C, that's bullshit! I know everything about the Stargate. I might as well have clearance."
She stopped in the hall, and turned to face me. I could she the frustration and anger on her face, and then she relented. "You know, you're just as stubborn as your father."
I was surprised she, of all people, has said that. I mean, Mum often stated how pigheaded and arrogant we both were.
"Yeah well, that's one of many things I inherited from him." She smiled, it was a warm smile. A smile of remembrance, fondness and maybe even love.
"Listen, let's talk about the SGC some other time, and some other place. What I really wanted to talk to you about, was catching up. Exams are at the end of the semester, and I really would like to see you pass. I think you have the potential to do something with your life. You're really smart, Kayla. I think, that if you continue with science, you could get a scholarship."
"OK, but how? I mean, no offence to the other students, but they aren't exactly the brightest people I know." I stated. OK mega mean, but it was true. And in all honesty, excluding Erica and Josh, their elevator didn't go to the top floor.
I could see her contemplating what I had said, as we moved down the hall and outside, to her black convertible. Nice car. "How about I tutor you? First hand knowledge." Miss C suggested.
"Sure." I answered. She is smart, a theoretical astrophysicist, and...my little matchmaking spirit comes alive, it would give her a chance to see Dad again. And not going totally incestuous on you or anything, but Dad...and prepare to throw up, is pretty good looking for his age. Yuck right? But it's the truth.
Miss C and myself agreed for her to come over my house at quarter past four to study for my science exam.
When I came home, Daddy was there and I told him all about school, excluding Miss Carter and Josh Vickers. "Great! Listen, I'm glad you had a good day at school. Are you going to be able to have dinner on your own?" He asked, it was then that I had first realised Dad was wearing a tie. Dad never wore a tie.
"Ah..yeah. Why, were are you going?" I asked, kneeling on Dad's bed and jumping a little. I know, a little childish, but I swear it's pure habit. When I was little, I used to jump on my Mum and Dad's bed at the break of day, and wake them up. Now, well I don't wake Dad up at the break of day, and I actually know enough now to knock before entering a bedroom, especially your parents bedroom.
One day, when I was six, I kinda interrupted a VERY private moment, and from then on, besides from being scarred for life, I knock before entering a bedroom.
"Out." Was his reply.
"Well duh. Where? Oh let me guess, the golden arches?" I grinned mischievously. It was a private joke.
"Funny, no. Tony's Italian Restaurant."
I whistled, classy. A little too classy for my liking. "Who you going with?" I asked nonchalantly, I really didn't want him dating anyone at the moment, especially when Dad might have a chance with Miss Carter.
I remember Dad being pretty happy when he was retired, even though Mum had left us...uh him. I really meant to say him, really.
Anyway, I remember everyday after work, he'd come back cheery and happy, except for a couple of times, when he didn't come home for three months, scaring the shit out of me. I concluded he was undoubtedly in love. But with who? I didn't know then, but now, I am theorising that it was Sam he was in love with. It was her that was making him smile and laugh and come alive again. And now, I have a chance to put things back, to set things right. To make Dad fall in love again. So what ever B-I-T-C-H Dad is going out with tonight, I'm gonna have to get rid of her. I'm not talking about the mob or anything, although it has crossed my mind numerous times, that'd be taking it just a tad bit far, don't ya think?
After delaying Dad as much as I could, the door bell rang. "I'll get it Kay." He said, expecting it to be his 'date'.
I could hear, from my place in the kitchen, the creek of the door opening, and Dad's astonished gasp.
Jack's POV:
When I opened the door, I was expecting a stunning blonde with blue eyes, but the woman standing before me was hardly Lara, the woman I was expecting. There before me was the one the only...Samantha Carter.
"Sam!"
"Jack! Ah..Colonel." I heard her say, her voice as surprised as mine. When she spoke, it brought back all those memories I'd tried so hard to forget. Those nights I lay awake watching her sleep. The forbidden relationship I longed to pursue. The feel of her holding me, while I slowly felt myself slipping away.
Her promise to stay and die beside me. And last, and my favourite, her invitation to arm wrestle.
"Miss C." I hear my daughter greet, her voice sounds so far away. I break my self induced reverie, and close the door behind my former Major. God I forgot how good she looks, especially from the rear.
"Hey Kayla, ready to study?" she asks, removing her coat and giving it to Kayla.
"Yep, I just gotta eat. Hey, you like macaroni and cheese? I got some left over."
"Love it."
"As long as it doesn't taste like chicken." I add, in reference to something Sam said to Daniel on a mission once upon a time. God was it that long ago. I really couldn't believe it when Kayla found out about the SGC. I grounded her for a lifetime, but eventually, I found it therapeutic to come home and be able to talk to my daughter about my work and not worry about classified this and that's, and censoring areas. I am kind of glad Kay found out about it, although I wouldn't give her the pleasure telling her that.
Sam smiles, that brilliant smile, the one that sends my pulse to new heights and the testostorone flowing, really graphic thoughts going through my head, and all organ controls failing, except for one organ.
I feel my blood pulsating, heading south for the winter, although it's really hot in here. Wait a second, did she just say study.
"Um, did I miss something? Study?"
"Yeah Dad. Sam, is it OK if I call you that?" she asks, when Carter nods her head, she continues. "Anyway, Sam's my new science professor. Isn't that groovy?"
OK surprised isn't even in the same ball park at the moment. Sam's a science professor, teaching in my child's school. Ok, weird.
"Yeah groovy." Our conversation, if that's what ya wanna call it, comes to a halt as the door bell rings, for a second time in five minutes.
"I got it." Kayla says, skipping over to the door, leaving Sam and myself to stare at eachother.
"You're looking good Sam." Boy, is that an understatement.
"Thanks, so are you sir."
"Carter, stop with the 'sirs', I'm not your commanding officer anymore. It's Jack, just Jack."
"OK just Jack, only if you stop with the Carter. It's Sam, just Sam."
"Fine, Just Sam." We grin at each other, the room suddenly disappearing as if we're the only two people in the universe. God, I've missed this feeling. As if life ceased to exist, and she's the only woman in the world. That's what it felt like for those four years. Every time she'd walk into the office, infirmary, lab, or whatever, I stood still, afraid that if I even breathed, she'd disappear like ashes in the wind. I never realised, until she left, that she was the only woman I ever loved, and I'd lost her.
Until now I thought my life was perfect. I had an awesome job, a beautiful daughter and a great house. The only thing that was missing was the perfect woman. I'd thought I'd never find her, and when I did I lost her. I'll be damned if I lost her again.
Kayla's POV:
This was going better than I'd expected. Sam was here, Dad has seen her and looks like he's just fallen in love, and just when I thought Dad was going to pass out or something, from the lack of oxygen, the door bell rings. And low and behold, who should be behind it? Daddy's stupid date. I swear, if I had a gun right now, I could inflict some serious damage upon this woman. Hell, who needs a gun!
"Can I help you?"
"Hi you must be Kayla. I'm Lara, is your Dad home?" she asks.
Ok, conflict going on. One, I could lie and say 'no sorry go away'. Or two, I could say 'yeah, come on in and make ya self comfy,' and throw away any hope of Daddy finding happiness with Sam. Actually, I wouldn't mind Sam being my new Mum. Has a very appealing tone to it.
"Yeah, come in, please." God, did that come out of my mouth, sounding semi-sincere? I really meant it to sound spiteful. Maybe I should take drama classes.
I allow 'Lara' entrance to my house, and make a face at her back, while escorting her into the foyer, where my father and my, hopeful, step mum are standing.
"Jack, hi." I hear Lara greet. Dad jumps as if he's been given an electric shock and Sam's head slowly turns toward the woman in front of me.
"Lara, hi. What are you doing here?"
"We have a date, remember?"
"Date? Oh right date! How could I forget?"
Yes! Mentally, I'm doing a victory dance right now, as Daddy obviously forgot about his date with Miss Bimbo right here, as soon as Sam came. Now, I officially have something to hope for.
After Dad had left for his date with Lara, Sam and I did a little science work, then spent the rest of the night getting to know each other, pigging out and watching movies.
"Ok, if you were stuck on a desert island with only one person and four things. What and whom would it be?" I asked, munching on my popcorn.
Sam considered the question for a moment, then answered, "Richard Dean Anderson, sun oil, a CD player, CD's and lots and lots of batteries." We both shared a laugh, and then calmed down.
"Sam?" I asked. God, how in the world can I ask this without sounding completely insane.
"Yeah Kay?" She replied, taking a sip of her diet coke.
"I was wondering, how did you happen to meet Dad? And how did you know about the Stargate?"
She looked at me for a second and then shrugged. "It's a long story." She simply stated.
"I've got all night."
"You are more like your father than you think. You're both very persistent." We share a laugh, and although I hate to admit it, she's right. In a lot of ways, Dad and I are similar, but also, we're very different. We have conflicting personalities, different interests and I have to say, I have much better taste.
"Four years ago, I was reassigned from the Pentagon to Colorado Springs, the Stargate Command. For the previous two years, I had been studying the Stargate, working experiments and of the like, before Daniel made it work. When I was finally chosen to work at the SGC, I was thrilled, and I found out that my Commanding Officer was going to be your father. I have to admit, and I have never told anyone this, not even Danny, I did a little research on Jack before I met him." I couldn't help but notice the blush that rises to her cheeks.
"Really?" My teacher researched my Dad, I guess the question I really have to ask is, "Why?" I say out loud.
"I don't really know. I guess I was... intrigued. I'd heard of your Dad's previous exploits and I guess I kind of wanted to know what I was getting myself into." She states.
"Did your Dad ever tell you about the first time we met?"
I answer negatively. "I didn't even know about the Stargate until earlier this year, and even when we met at the society ball, I didn't know who you were. No offence Sam, but Dad has never mentioned you until now, not even when I approached him about the SGC." I stated, taking a sip of my cola. I noted the resigned look on her face.
"But, you can tell me?" I smiled, trying to make her feel better. She smiled, and I realised that my instincts, for once, were correct. Sam did love Daddy, and further more, I do believe Dad loves Sam too. Maybe that's why Sam left the SGC? Nah...probably not, don't wanna get my hopes up.
"Well, when I walked into the briefing room, I heard your dad saying 'where's he transferring from?', so being the absolute smartass that I was, I replied, 'she is transferring from the Pentagon."
She continued telling me everything. About her first meeting with Dad, about all the adventures through the stargate and all the alien species they'd encountered. And I couldn't help but notice the way her eyes would light up every time she'd talk about Dad. She even told me about a virus SG-1 and SG-3 had picked up from a planet called the land of light. She said it made everyone behave like primitives. Although she kind of left out the part about her trying to seduce Dad. And although she thought she had fooled me, I'd read all the files from the Pentagon, and I read that particular one.
"Sam, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why did you leave the SGC?" I ask her, munching on a corn chip. She looks at me a second and I think she's trying to find a way out of it.
"Can I tell you something, that you will promise to tell nobody so help you God?" She asks me, an earnest expression on her face.
"Sure, I promise on my grandfathers grave."
"I left the SGC because I had feelings for someone I wasn't supposed to." She admits.
"Who?" I ask. By this point I am hoping to God right now, that she doesn't mean that snake-head guy Martouf.
"Your father."
Well...for once in my entire life...I was speechless. My subconscious was running around in by brain yelling and screaming at the top of it's lungs 'YES'. Problem is, I've got her to admit it to herself and me, how the hell do I get her to tell Dad?
Jack's POV
OK, so asking Lara out wasn't such a great idea. How the hell was I supposed to know that she wouldn't stop talking on and on and on, and she didn't even stop for a breath. The only real sentence I got out the entire night was, "excuse me Lara, I need to find the men's room."
I'd ended up dropping her off at her house and declining, as politely as I could, her offer to come up for a drink. She accepted this, though I could see the disappointment in her eyes, as I drove home. God, what is it these days, does everything have a double meaning. 'Would you like to come up for a drink?' really means,
'would you like to come up for sex?', and quite frankly it scares the hell out of me. I think I'm going to have to have a talk with Kay and share a little self-defense moves. Some may call it being over-protective, others may call it paranoia. I call it protection, better to be safe than sorry huh? Besides, I lost one kid to a moment of carelessness, I'll be damned if I lose another.
When I get home, I'm surprised to find Sam's car still parked outside. 'So she's still here?' a part of my mind interjects. 'Sure she's tutoring Kay.' I reply rationally. 'At quarter to one in the morning?' my mind questions.
And as I enter the house, I find the most enchanting picture a man could ever hope for. There in my living room, with the television glowing casting distorted and eerie shadows across the room, is my Sam asleep with my daughter's sleeping head on her lap. I smile, and creep softly into the room. All those years of military training are not wasted on Sam as her eyes open suddenly and her head jerks up to look at me. She smiles. "Hey."
"Hey, how'd your date go?" She asks, her hand stroking Kayla's brown hair.
"Pretty boring actually." I state, approaching the couch. God, she's so beautiful.
"Boring huh? Sound's like you had fun." She comments, a grin tugging at her red lips. In a remote corner of my mind I remember the feeling of them on mine, a direct result of when she was 'touched'. I can't help but feel the stir of desire which is erupting in me.
"Yeah. When did she tire out?" I ask, indicating to Kayla.
"About half an hour ago, we were watching Gilligan's Island." She explains.
"Damn I missed it. Did they get off of the island?" A drowsy voice from Sam's lap asks. I smiled, my daughter's obviously wry humor is from me no doubt.
Sam laughed, a beautiful sound which lightens up my whole life, it always has. But I guess I've missed my chance with her, any chance I ever had. Carter's a gorgeous woman, and I have no doubt in my mind that she probably has a hundred men lined up to date her, why in the world would she even consider going out with an old solider like me?
"Hey munchkin, sleep well?" I ask, and try to suppress the grin that threatens to appear on my face, as her nose wrinkles and she glares at me. That's been my pet name for her, for as long as I can remember, and she never really minded me calling her it when she was little, she still doesn't, just as long as it isn't in public.
"Dad," She yawns, "how much times do I have to tell you, don't call me that in front of people. It's embarrassing."
"Your dad does that to you too huh?" Sam asks Kayla.
"Yup every time we go out with someone he always calls me 'munchkin'." Kay whines to my former Major.
"My dad does it too." Sam smiled, a fond memory obviously coming to mind.
"Do you miss him? I mean you probably don't get too see him often now that you're not in the program any more right?" Kayla asks.
"Yeah I miss him. I miss everything about the program. But especially I miss my friends. Daniel and Teal'c and you." She says, looking up at me. I look into her eyes, and all those years of masked feeling and suppressed love is conveyed in that little look.
"OK," I hear Kayla say, her voice sounding so distant, "I'm going to go to bed now, I'll see you at school Sam." She states, I think she can sense the feelings in the room. "Night Dad." She kissed my cheek, and like a bolt of lighting, she's upstairs and I hear her bedroom door closing softly. And now it's just Sam and I.
At first there's an awkward silence, as Sam rises. My subconscious thinks she is leaving so my hand reaches out to softly touch her arm. "Sam, you don't have to go just because Kay went to bed." I state, hoping like hell, she won't leave me again. Although I wouldn't mind in the slightest way if she stays forever.
She smiles softly, her dimples appearing. "I wasn't leaving. I thought that since I helped make the mess, I can help clean it up."
"Oh." Even with her classifying the situation, I still can't get my brain to tell my hand to remove itself from her arm.
"Did you want me to go?" I hear her ask.
"No." I answer almost immediately. "I don't want you to go."
"OK." She smiles.
Kayla's POV
I am not spying. OK, maybe just a little, but you can't blame me right? I mean, the sexual tension in the air was so thick, I almost suffocated. And unbiddened thought just came to my head. I swear I have no idea as to where it came from, it just popped on up. What if Sam and Dad have sex? Ewwwwww, yuck. I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. Every time I close my eyes, I get this mental image of Dad and Sam rolling around in bed, buck naked. Not a very nice image at that for a sixteen year old. I shrudder, not just from that disgusting thought, but because of the chilly night air. Belatedly I realise I should've put on my dressing gown, but there was no time. Sam's standing near the arch entrance of the living room with her back to me. Dad's got his hand on arm, preventing her from leaving. "Please Sam," I beg silently, "tell him."
Hold on a sec, is it my imagination, or are they leaning towards each other. Oh my god, dad's going to kiss her.
Sam's POV
He's leaning towards me. The man I have loved ever since I walked into that briefing room all those years ago, is leaning towards me. And all of a sudden, his lips are on mine. His soft sweet lips. I can't help my hands from snaking around his neck, pulling him closer to me. I have always wondered what it would be like to kiss the colonel, without us being infected with some alien virus. So this is what it's like. Only one word comes to mind.
Jack's POV
Sweet!
I have always wondered what it would be like to kiss Sam. My Sam, not some alternate reality version. She pulls me closer and I happily comply, I'll do anything she wants if only she'll stay. The kiss, which I had intended to be brief, yet sweet, has quickly escalated into so much more, as we are now French kissing like there's no tomorrow.
Only one word comes to mind...
Kayla's POV
Yes, finally!
Ewww, that's gross! I shrudder and return to bed. Mission 'get Dad to kiss Sam' completed, now I just need them to date. Erica, she can help me. The girl is the master of bullshitting. As I pull the covers over my head, I realise I shouldn't have watched for so long. I wait for the guilt of invading their privacy to wash over me, but it doesn't. Only the yucky picture of two oldies making out in my living room. Uh Man, I'm never going to get any sleep!
"Hey Kay!" Someone calls my name, and I barely hear them over the shouts of the crowded hallway. "Wait up." It's Josh, great, I'm really not in the mood to speak to him, not after the gossip I just heard in the bathroom. A small part of my mind registers that it's just idle gossip, rumors which have nothing but air to support them.
"Oh hey Josh." I greet as he catches up with me and we both exit the hall and onto the quad. I really need some air.
"Hey Kayla, why aren't you in class? Aren't you supposed to be in English?" He asks me.
"Ms. Westmirer had to go to a funeral so we've got a free." I answer, spotting a nice green patch next to a big oak tree. I walk over there, expecting Vickers to rack off, but he doesn't and follows like an obedient puppy. I just feel like yelling "Did I invite you to sit down?", but I don't.
"Hey Kayla, can I ask you something?" He starts, sitting down next to me and taking off his letter jacket.
"Go for your life." I mumble, popping a carrot into my mouth.
He looks a bit hesitant for a moment, "What happened with your mum and dad?" This question catches my attention, and I pause from crunching on my carrot.
"That's a little personal Josh." I answer in a subtle way. My subtle way of telling him, I don't want to talk about it.
"Sure, that's fine. I respect that you don't want to talk about it. But I just thought that you should know..."
he ends.
"Know what?" I ask, looking over my science book. Hmm, how cool is that? We're going to be doing astronomy next semester.
"About the rumors that are going around about you and your family." What? What rumors? I've been here for about a week and there are rumors going around about me.
"What rumors Josh?"
"Well people are saying that your mum and dad got divorced because he was having an affair."
"What? That's absurd, and not that it's anyone's business, but my mother and father got divorced because my little brother died." And with that sentence, I grab my stuff and head towards the doors.
After stalking off on Josh, and deciding to wag the rest of the day, I realised that I'd made two mistakes; one, I took out repressed anger and hurt on Josh when he was only trying to tell me about a rumor about me, and two; I had science fifth period. Which meant that Sam would be no doubt wondering what happened to me and had no doubt notified dad about it. That inevitably means... that I was in big trouble.
" Kayla Margaret O'Neill, get your butt down here NOW." I heard after the slamming of the door. Uh-oh. I was in trouble. BIG trouble. Dad only ever addresses me by my full name when I've done something wrong. I decide that I can't delay the inevitable any long and proceed down stairs where I will, no doubt receive a lecture on skipping school.
"Yes dad?" I say calmly. His face appears calm, however I know it's from years of military training. On the inside, he's really fuming.
"I just received a call from your school, from Sam to be precise, informing me that you were not present for science or for the rest of your lessons. Would you care to explain?"
"I wasn't feeling well." I simply say.
"You weren't feeling well? So that's why you were seen running down the corridor and out of the school without telling anyone? Please Kayla, I'm not that stupid. What the hell happened?" It's a that moment I find a very interesting speck on the floor and proceed to study it for the next 30 seconds or so, until my dad promptly pulls me from my reverie. "O'Neill, I asked you a question?"
I look up at him and feel an all to familiar sting in my eyes. "Oh Kayla, what happened?" He asks in a more soothing tone and comes to sit beside me on the sofa.
"Nothing. I already told you." I reply as I wipe my eyes with me sleeve. What a lady I am, huh?
"Kay, I'm a Colonel in the United States Air Force and work in a top secret facility. I'm pretty good with facades. Now what are you lying about?"
"When you and mum were together, were you having an affair?" I blurt out.
"What? Who the hell told you that?" He cries.
"It doesn't matter who told me. Were you?"
"No, of course not." He answers steadily. I look at him closely, and realise he's telling the truth. But there's something else I desperately needed to know, something I've had suspicions about since I saw Sam and dad down stairs.
"Dad, there's something else I need to know. Did you have an affair with Sam while you were at the SGC?"
He looks shocked that I had just asked the question I had. I wait for his reply.
Jack's POV:
That was not a question I was expecting from my 16-year-old daughter. "Excuse me?" I mumble and she repeats her question. I know I could lie to her and say no I didn't, but it's about time I confessed to my daughter. "No, Sam and I didn't have an affair."
"Why did Sam leave?" She asks.
"Kay, this is a very long story..." I say. I know I am trying to avoid talking about it, but it took me a long time to get over Sam's leaving. And now that I am finally over it, it's not something I want to talk about.
"I have all day dad." I hate it when she gives me that little smirk, reminds me of... me.
Knowing that I will not get out of this, I decide to tell her what happened, all those years ago. "Ok, fine. About two years ago, SG-1 went on a mission to this tropical planet and to cut a long story short, Carter tripped and broke her wrist. I volunteered, stupidly, to drive her home as she was on morphine to stop the pain. After driving her home, I helped her into her apartment, then was going to leave. But then she needed help going upstairs... and eventually, one thing led to another and...I spent the night... in her bed... with her..." I try to explain awkwardly.
"You slept together. I'm not a baby dad, I know all about sex." Kayla replies. I make a mental note, to have a talk to her later about males and their thinking processes.
"Well, in the morning, she barely remembered that anything had happened and believed I took advantage of her. And I left."
"And? What happened after that?" Kayla asks.
"And... I went back to the SGC. After a couple of hours, Janet wanted me to take some things to Carter. I thought that if I refused, she'd get suspicious, so I took the things and decided that I'd drop them off at Carter's on my way home. To cut a long story short, we ended up in a huge argument and then... we slept together again."
"Again?" Kayla asks, no doubt surprised by my confession.
"Yes. And this time, she fully participated."
"Dad! That is something that I really didn't need to know." Kay exclaims, no doubt vivid images going through her head. I remembered every detail of those two nights. But after a while as I convinced myself that it was all a mistake, the memories faded until only smells and feelings remained.
"Sorry."
"So, what happened?"
"Well, when we returned to work, we found out that we didn't get along as well as we used to... and one day after a very nasty argument... she left. And, I never saw her again." I end.
"That's why she left?" Kayla asks.
"Obviously, why else would she leave?" I ask.
"Perhaps because she was in love with you!"
Kayla's POV:
Oops!
Jack's POV:
Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that response, that's for sure. As angry as I was at Kayla for skipping the rest of school, I couldn't punish her. At the time, all I could think of was what she had confessed; that Sam was in love with me. And that's when the worst thing thinkable happened to me; I started thinking. I started thinking about 'what ifs', and I couldn't sleep.
After Kay's little declaration, we ate dinner in silence and retired to bed in silence. It had nothing to do with our previous argument, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Sam, and the SGC and those magical nights we had spent together.
Finally, at 2am, I had a terrifying thought as I thought about what my daughter had said to me. "Perhaps because she was in love with you!" The operative word which broke me out in a cold sweat - WAS.
Sam's POV:
I don't know if it was the very vivid dream that I was having concerning one very naked Colonel Jack O'Neill or the persistent banging on my front door which roused me from my slumber. But as long as I live, I will never forget the surprise I felt when I opened that door to reveal the object of my fantasy. Jack O'Neill. "Colonel! I mean Jack... what are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighbourhood." He replies comically. At my raised eyebrow, he smiles wryly. "I need to talk to you about something." Knowing that it's obviously something important as it's not everyday that my former CO's roll up at my front door at 2 o'clock in the morning, I step aside and let him enter my house.
"Ok, so what did you want to talk about?" I finally ask, handing him a cup of coffee.
"Kayla."
"Kayla?" I repeat. Although I am rather interested to hear as to why my best pupil suddenly skipped my class yesterday, I didn't think it was so important as to show up unexpectedly in the middle of the night.
"Is something wrong?" I ask, "All I heard was something upset her and she just ran off. Is she alright? What happened?"
"You know as much as I do. Did any of her friends say anything to you?" Jack asks me.
"I ran into Erica and she just told me that she saw Kayla talking to a young boy, Josh Vickers, during a free. She got upset and then just ran off. That's all I know. "
"That's it? You're sure?" He asks again. I know Jack cares a lot about his daughter, but hey, even I wagged school a couple of times. I didn't think he'd get this worked up over it.
"Yeah. Well actually, Erica did mention something else." I add.
"What?"
"Um... she said something about a rumor going around about Kayla and her family, but she would tell me what. That's about all." I reply. "Did Kayla say anything to you?"
He rises from his seat on my sofa, and paces over to the mantel. Absently he picks up a photo frame and smiles warmly. Even though I can't see the photograph, I know exactly what photo he's looking at. Every essential detail I have memorized over the years. It's a photo of SG-1, the original team. Daniel, Teal'c, Jack and I are all standing together in our civvies, wide smiles covering our faces. I used to study that photo intently when I left the SGC, especially the image of Jack. Even in the photo we are closer than we should be, more comfortable than we should be, more in love than we should be. Or at least I am... or was... or shouldn't be. It's so confusing. I don't know what's holding us back. I'm not military anymore, there's no regulations, no team to worry about endangering. Just that old wall that refuses to be broken down. Perhaps we've grown to use to balancing on that damn thin line separating us from friends and what could be.
I rise and stand behind him. "Them were the days huh?" I say softly as he replaces the frame onto the mantel.
"Yeah, them the days. And then... you left." He states, an accusing tone in his voice that rubs me the wrong way. God, I knew this would happen. I knew that we couldn't go on being civil to each other forever and pretend that something had never happened between us. Well, I'm sick of being apologetic all the time and taking on all the responsibility. And if it has to come out, then bring it on Jack.
"Well it takes two to tango Jack." I respond, a little harsher than I had initially intended. However it had the desired effect. He whips around and the first thing I notice is the anger and hurt in his brown eyes.
"Yeah, but you left. You just picked up and left. Without as much as an explanation or even a goddamned goodbye. You just disappeared and left us all to deal with it. Did you even spare a moments thought to what WE would suffer without you? What I would suffer without you? Or were you just too selfish to even care?" He snaps.
"Hey, why the hell do you think I left Jack? Huh? I left because OF the team, I left because of you. I didn't even think about what I would do after the SGC, after the airforce. I just left. I had to. There was no other choice." I hate that I'm crying. I hate that I'm crying in front of him. Unconsciously I wipe a tear that streams down my cheek. Jack doesn't even seem to notice my tears, as his own trail down his face. I have never seen him cry. Although Teal'c once mentioned that he shed a few when I was infested with Jolinar. I never believed him.
"Oh don't give me that shit Sam. There were plenty of choices." He asserts.
"Oh really? Like what Jack? Why don't you run a few by me? Because at the time, leaving was the best and only option I had." I remark.
"You could've transferred to another team." Jack states.
"Oh we both know that never would've worked. We'd still be under the same command, and probably end up biting each other's head off." I reason.
"You could've resigned and applied for a civilian status."
"Could've Jack. Could've. But I didn't. This is where I am now..."
"A science teacher, probably on minimum wage." He interrupts.
"Actually I am the highest paid in the school district, thank-you-very-much. As I was saying, this is where I am now, and I'm happy. I'm happy teaching, I'm happy teaching your daughter."
"You're happy alone?" He mutters.
"Oh, and your love life is that exciting? Please Jack, I'm smarter than you remember."
"Hey I didn't come here to get my intelligence insulted. If I wanted that I would've stayed at home."
"Then why did you come here Jack?" I ask, folding my hands in front of me, awaiting an answer.
"I told you, because of Kayla." He answers defensively.
"Well it seems to me that we've strayed from the subject, don't you think?"
"Look, when Kayla and I talked, she asked me something." He declares.
"What?"
"Something about us." He answers.
"Us?" I repeat.
"Yes, you and me. Us."
"You and me?" I repeat once again. Why would she ask about us?
"Look Sam, if you're going to keep echoing everything I say, this could take a while." Jack remarks sarcastically.
"Sorry. Why would she ask about us?" I voice, taking my seat on the sofa.
As always, Jack has perfect timing. Just as I'm taking a sip of my coffee, he tells me, "to see if we were having an affair while you were at the SGC." Consequently, my coffee nearly goes up my nose.
"Excuse me?" I ask, in between my sniffing and coughing. Ouch, that was hot!
"She asked me if we were having an affair while we were working at the SGC." He repeats.
"Yeah, I caught that part. What would make her ask that?" I voice.
"You got me. Probably the same thing that made her skip school today."
"And what did you tell her?" I ask.
"I told her the truth. I told her why you left the SGC." If only you knew the real reason I left Jack.
Jack's POV:
I'm not quite ready to tell Sam that I know the real reason why she left the SGC. Playing dumb has worked for me in plenty of life or death situations. I just hope it works in this life or death situation.
"Why did you leave Sam?" I ask after a moment of awkward silence. Her blue eyes are still filled with tears from our previous discussion, and as I add salt to the age-old wound, they fill with anger and something that resembles remorse.
"Please Jack, don't do this again. You know why I left." She sounds tired and fed-up. I know Sam, so am I. I'm tired of coming home to a beer and a cold bed. I know I have Kayla, but she's usually in bed when I come home late at night. Contrary to popular belief, I am human and I do get lonely, in a way that only the tender loving touch of a woman can help.
"Well, that's not the same reason Kayla gave me." Sam looks up suddenly and I see panic on her face. Something that I never saw on her face before, or I never wanted to see.
"What? What are you talking about Jack?" Oh come on Sam, give me a little credit. Although I maybe a little out of practice in reading her expressions, I can see right through that nonchalant facade.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Carter." I begin to approach her slowly, not to scare her off. I feel like a hunter after its prey. Most likely seeing the look in my eyes, she slowly rises from the sofa and backs up slowly.
"Um... Colonel? Are you feeling alright?" She mutters nervously, as she backs up right into a wall.
"I'm feeling perfectly fine." I answer as my hands rise to rest on the wall, on either side of her shoulders. Hunter has cornered his prey and has her trapped. "Actually Carter, I'm more than fine." Subconsciously I'm debating whether or not to cross that line. That line which has always separated our lives, and eventually tore us apart. I bring my right hand up to cup Samantha's cup and slowly, giving her ample time to pull away, bring her lips to mine. The kiss is soft and slow. Not turning into anything passionate, yet never diminishing. Just enough to let her know what I feel and what I have felt for all these years. When the contact is broken, she has her eyes closed and a tear running down her cheek. I begin to think I've done the wrong thing, however she begins to smile. "What took you so long ?" Is all she says.
"God Sam, why didn't you tell me? I had to find out that you left because you were in love with me from my 16-year-old daughter." That makes her laugh.
"She promised she wouldn't tell you." More tears, I though this was supposed to be a happy moment.
"Why didn't you tell me Sam? I thought I'd lost you forever." God, now I'm getting teary-eyed.
"I thought you didn't feel the same. I convinced myself that you didn't feel the same way. I thought if I told you, it'd break up the team and we'd never be the same."
"And you thought that leaving was a better option. You thought it would help?" I question incredulously.
"Yes." She cries.
"Well it didn't. It was the opposite of help Sam. God, if only you knew how many nights I laid in bed, or beside you on some alien planet and wished I could tell you how much I loved you, how much I'm in love with you." I confess.
"I know, God Jack, how I know."
"Look Sam this, what I feel for you, isn't just something that we can jump into. It may take sometime, especially with Kayla." Although something tells me that this was my so called 'daughters' intention right from the get-go.
"I know Jack. I'm glad you said that. And you know what?" she says.
"What?"
"I love you." God, I've waited so long just to hear those words from Sam.
Kayla's POV:
As I said, nobody particularly likes change. However, you do get used to it. Like I got used to seeing Sam both in and out of school, and seeing her underwear and other clothing on the washing line, and her toothbrush next to dads. I got used to the unfamiliar scent of perfume through the house and even the burnt lasagnas (which were no worse than dads!) .
I even got used to the news that Sam had taken a position at the SGC as a civilian scientist. Even dad was happier, which was a very big change, however very welcome. Granted, I wasn't very happy about losing the best science teacher I've ever had, but it was even better because I was gaining a mum.
Yep, change can be a very, VERY good thing.
THE END
-Louise
louc14@hotmail.com
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