Promise Me
Promise Me
by Lorina Dara Raenon
TITLE: Promise Me
AUTHOR: Lorina Dara Raenon
EMAIL:majorlorina@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Romance/Drama
SPOILERS: 'In the Line of Duty' and 'The Tok'Ra' (Part 1 and 2)
SEASON / SEQUEL: Takes place late in Season Two. The sequel to Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again and part 2 of the Everlasting Series.
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS: Spare the moments of simple romance, there's really nothing to worry about.
SUMMARY: The sequel to Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. Following an accident, Samantha Carter's Tok'Ra memories continue to haunt her. But when they become overwhelming, the search for a treatment leads toward a familiar source.
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author, Lorina.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
With a gun hoisted casually over his shoulder, Jack O'Neill removed his sunglasses and wiped a stray arm across his forehead. He readjusted the shades before turning to his companions. "Hey! Daniel! You can study them when we get back."
A quietly excited young archaeologist raised his shaded head from the business at hand. "I'll be right there."
Jack sighed, seating himself casually on the steps of the stargate, as he watched Dr. Jackson collect the items found in the ruins nearby. Teal'c waited quietly with O'Neill, his staff raised perpendicular from the ground, and his head tilted slightly forward in pensive meditation. Samantha Carter stood aloof from the group, straying along the cliffs that met the large ocean of P3X 750.
She walked carefully along the rocky terrain, digging her feet securely into every foothold. Looking over the edge, she saw the waves crashing into the rocks below. The waves pounded the surf into the partially submerged rocks before pulling back. And then something flickered in her mind. Sam cocked her head to the side for a moment, unsure of what the sensation was. She looked around, noticing that the edge of the woods obscured the team's view. Kneeling down on the rocks, she dangled her legs over the edge and found a somewhat comfortable place to sit. The sun hung low in the emerald sky, spreading rays of sunlight across clouds of orange, red, and pink. Sam peered quietly down at the waves, immersing herself in the sounds. She closed her eyes, listening to the crash of waves, of the strangely melodic birds that inhabited this world, and then. . .of something else. . .
"It's beautiful, my love."
"I knew you would like it."
Sam snapped her eyes open for a second, looking around for the source of the sounds. But no one was there. The memories, she remembered. She sighed heavily, rubbing her temples with her fingers. There was a part of her that didn't want to hear them. And yet, there was an overwhelming need to explore them, to bring the past to the surface.
"Why did you bring me here?"
"I wanted to tell you something important."
"Oh? What is it?"
A brief pause followed. The man looked down at the ocean. "I have to go away for awhile."
"Go away? Why?"
"The council wishes I lead a strike force against a small Go'uald outpost. They hold some of our own," Lantesh replied.
Jolinar's eyes flickered for a second as she absorbed the news. "How long?"
"I don't know."
Lantesh studied his mate's sad expression, clasping her hand affectionately. "I will return."
"And if you don't?"
The face of Martouf lowered in silence, before regaining a determined expression. "Know that I will always be with you. When you look out at the waters of this ocean, I will be looking back."
"Promise me you will always hold me in your heart. That despite what may happen, you will never lose site of me," Jolinar pleaded, looking into Martouf's eyes.
"I promise," he answered, holding her close.
The waves crashed below as a reddened sun slipped slowly under the horizon.
"Sam. Sam? Sam!" a male voice called out with an obvious concerned tone to it.
"What? Don't leave me. You can't," the words slipped off her tongue, as her vacant blue eyes stared out at the horizon.
"Samantha? Are you alright?" Daniel asked.
Carter's eyes fluttered open. She found herself seated upon the same rock. Her face felt wet, and she lifted a hand to wipe away the tear that had stained her cheek. Daniel Jackson knelt on the rock beside her with a concerned expression upon his face.
"Daniel?" Sam answered hoarsely.
"Yes, it's me. What happened? We were calling, and you didn't answer."
Sam looked around in tired confusion. "You did? I. . .didn't hear you calling. I was just. . ." She rubbed her temple in confusion.
"Daniel!"
"I'm here, Jack!" Dr. Jackson called back as O'Neill ran out from the treeline.
Colonal O'Neill made his way carefully over the rocky ledge until he reached the two. "Captain, are you alright?"
"Yes. . .yes, I'm fine, Jack," Sam managed a confident smile, despite the apparent weary look upon her face.
Jack gave her an uneasy, almost suspicious look before motioning for the two to follow him back. Jackson helped her up, and she threw her gun behind her back awkwardly. She brushed a hand briefly across her face before falling into step behind her team. Teal'c waited for them in the clearing, just behind the trees. He walked up slowly to the approaching group.
"Captain Carter. . .are you alright?" his usual smug expression displayed a very small measure of concern.
Sam looked to Jack and Daniel uneasily, both lowering their heads in thought, before nodding. "Yeah, Teal'c. I was just checking out a spot beyond the trees. I guess I got off track."
"I guess?" O'Neill said under his breath, as he leaned towards Daniel.
"Sam, I think you need help," O'Neill said frankly, as the captain removed her pack and gun.
The two stood in the gateroom, away from the eyes and ears of the personnel manning the gate's controls. Sam looked up at O'Neill with a quiet uncertainty. "Jack, I'm fine."
"No," Jack lifted a finger, "you are not. Your Tok'Ra memories are interfering with your job. We can't have you running off on every mission."
Sam rolled her eyes, dropping her gun against the wall as she released the harness on her pack. "Fine, sir. It won't interfere. I promise."
O'Neill winced at the words, moving closer to avoid the attention of others. "That's not good enough. Sam, you need help! Admit it! Go and talk to someone. There are base counselors here. Use them."
Sam let out a deep breath, closing her eyes, before responding. "Fine. Fine! I'll go see someone. Just don't breathe a word about this to anyone, Jack, okay?"
O'Neill raised his hands in defense. "Okay. Alright. You've got my word. But. . what about Daniel and Teal'c? They know something is wrong."
"Fine, Jack," Sam said in tired annoyance.
Jack watched as Captain Carter exited the room. Her tired face was riddled with uncertainty and worry. He couldn't remember seeing her this upset. Ever. Jack sighed, rubbing his temple as he felt the onslaught of a killer headache.
"Tell me, Samantha, how often do these. . .revelations. . .occur?"
Sam fidgeted uncomfortably in her chair. "Ah. . .fairly often. I used to have these dreams. . .but now, I've been having waking dreams."
The counselor scribbled something down on her notepad before returning her attention to her patient. The dimly lit office offered somewhat of a comfortable atmosphere in the base's medical area. "Tell me what you see in your dreams."
Sam cleared her throat lightly. "I see. . .a woman. No, I am that woman."
"A woman?" the counselor prodded. "Can you elaborate?"
Sam closed her eyes, trying to produce a visual of the recurrent dreams. She shook her head out of frustration. "I can't. . .I can't remember."
"It seems these memories aren't easy to access. Perhaps a different approach would be effective," the woman suggested, looking Sam candidly in the face.
"What kind of an approach?"
"I was thinking along the lines of hypnosis," the counselor replied, brushing back her long brown hair.
"Hypnosis? Is that a standard approach?" Sam questioned.
Dr. Stevens leaned forward in her chair, tapping her pen against the notepad. "No. It's not a tool which I use on a regular basis. But it does have its merit in certain cases," she explained, pausing briefly to consult her pad. "I'll need to get the general and Dr. Frasier's permission first."
Sam nodded, pressing her lips together.
"Don't you think this hypnosis business is a dangerous idea? I mean, we're talking about messing around with a person's mind. . .a Tok'Ra's, for that matter," Colonal O'Neill argued, as he paced Dr. Stevens' furnished office.
"I don't believe we should have any problems. If there is a need for the session to end, I can simply pull her out of the hypnotic state," Dr. Stevens interjected.
General Hammond rubbed his chin in thought. "What can we do for her, doctor? Is there a way of stopping, or at least controlling these memories?"
Dr. Stevens shook her head, rising from her chair. "It's too soon. We don't know enough about the captain's condition. . .and until we do, we're no closer to prescribing a treatment."
The general looked over at Sam. "Captain, what are your thoughts on Dr. Stevens' proposal?"
Sam looked from Jack to Dr. Frasier before licking her lips. "Sir, I want to try it. If there's a way of ending this, I'm all for it."
"I'll monitor Captain Carter during the session," Dr. Frasier spoke up. "Normally, this would rest solely in Dr. Stevens' department, but with respect to the unusual circumstances, we don't know what to expect," Dr. Frasier stepped in.
"Alright," the general nodded, "If there is any danger to Captain Carter, I want the session terminated. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir," Dr. Stevens nodded, stiffening up.
Sam lay comfortably back on the couch. She shook her head in disbelief. Here she was. . .on a shrink's couch. She never thought she would get so far to need this. Dr. Stevens took a seat to her right while Dr. Frasier entered the room, closing the door behind her. She took a seat across from Samantha, giving a reassuring smile.
"Now, Samantha. Despite what popular media has portrayed about hypnosis, I won't be using a pocket watch," the doctor smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "I want you to close your eyes."
Sam closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and pushing herself into the leather couch.
The doctor's voice remained soft and steady. "I want you to take a deep breath, through your nose. Than slowly let it out through your mouth. Take another. Let each breath relax your body. Now, picture a place that brings you peace. Focus on that image. It is the only thing that exists. Forget everything around you, and concentrate on that one place."
Sam's breathing slowed, and she relaxed significantly. Dr. Frasier looked up at her colleague, who nodded, and continued. "Now, I want you to go back to the moment you were struck by the energy from the stargate. You've fallen down. Tell me what you see."
Sam swallowed, her eyes moving beneath her eyelids. "I see. . .I see. . .a jumble of images. A woman. Caves. . .then sand. . .and then an ocean. It changes quickly. A man. . .beside me. And. . ." Sam started to sob, "no. . .you can't."
Dr. Stevens leaned forward, her curiosity peaked. "What is it, Samantha? What do you see?"
"It's him. It's always him," Sam cried out.
"This man you mentioned?"
"Yes. He stands beside me. But then he's gone. I wish he wouldn't leave," she sobbed, "he always leaves me."
"Why does he leave you?" the counselor questioned.
"He has somewhere to go. Something important to do."
"Focus on this man. . .do you know who he is?"
Sam's brow furrowed, as she tried to concentrate. "It's hard to see his face. I know him. I know him!"
"You know him? Try to get a better look at this man. Clear away the other memories and focus on him," Stevens' voice remained calm.
"He promised. . .he promised," she whimpered.
"Samantha. . .can you see him?" Dr. Stevens' voice hinted the slightest bit of concern.
"Why can't I see him now? Why?" Sam continued, oblivious of Dr. Stevens' directions.
"This individual appears to be a very important figure in her memories," Dr. Stevens noted quietly to Dr. Frasier.
"Dad! Dad!" Sam suddenly shouted, her eyes still closed.
"What's wrong, Samantha?" the counselor questioned.
"He's leaving too," Sam answered, rolling her head to one side and sobbing. "Always leaving. Why? Why! I'm alone. Alone. Martouf is gone," Sam rolled her head to the other side, "Dad is gone."
"Martouf? The Tok'Ra? I think Captain Carter is remembering her experiences, as well as her Tok'Ra symbiont's experiences. They've become tangled, if you will, with each other," the counselor theorized.
Dr. Frasier nodded in agreement. "And perhaps the energy surge scrambled pieces of these memories."
"I've noticed a major theme in her memories. Abandonment."
"Yes," Janet Frasier concurred, "first her Tok'Ra counterpart's acquaintance, than her own father. But she never expressed these feelings about her father before."
"Well, perhaps the surge heightened existing feelings. She can't control them. We know she's been experiencing waking dreams. When her memories resurface, the strain must overwhelm her mind. She escapes through these dreams."
"So what do we do?" Dr. Frasier sighed.
Dr. Stevens sighed heavily and shook her head. "I don't know. I've never treated the host of a Tok'Ra symbiont before. I wouldn't know where to start. It's beyond my expertise."
"Mine as well," Janet paused, pacing the room.
They remained silent in thought for a few moments before Dr. Stevens straightened up in her chair and looked at Carter. "Sam, I want you to leave the memories. Leave them behind and come back into the present. I'll give you until the count of ten to wake up. One. . .two. . ." Dr. Stevens directed.
After her tenth count, Carter slowly opened her misted eyes. She sat up, sweat beading on her forehead. She looked around at her observers. "Why is this happening to me?" Sam breathed, covering her face with her hands.
"Samantha, I think it would be wise to consult the Tok'Ra on this matter. We have no way of treating you," Dr. Stevens explained in exasperation.
Dr. Frasier nodded and turned to the captain. "I will discuss the matter with General Hammond."
Samantha Carter sat in Dr. Stevens office, alone, and quietly thinking in the dark room. She could feel her insides shake with a grief that she partly felt and partly regarded as foreign. Torn between two wills. For once in her life, or as far back as she could remember, she was completely, and utterly scared. A voice inside of her screamed.Don't leave me!She whimpered softly.You promised me you'd never forget! Why have you forgotten me?Sam pressed her face into her knees, as she lay curled up on the office's couch.I loved you! I still love you! Yet you have forsaken me!Jolinar's haunting words echoed in her head. She could feel the Tok'Ra's grief, or at least the memories, or what have you. She didn't know what they were. Perhaps Jolinar's fingerprint upon her brain. Whatever they were, she shared them intimately.
A knock at the door made her jump slightly. She stood up, running a hand through her blond hair, and straightening her uniform. "Come in," she replied.
The door opened, and General Hammond was the first to step in, followed by the remainder of SG-1. He paused as the door shut behind him, and Daniel turned on the lights. "Captain, Dr. Stevens and Dr. Frasier have explained your situation to me. Although I am reluctant and apprehensive in granting you leave with the Tok'Ra, I believe it's in the best interests of SG-1 to allow you."
Sam eased slightly, and a mild measure of relief spread across her features. "Thank you, sir," she answered softly.
"We have already contacted the Tok'Ra via the Tollan transmitter they left behind. We expect a response fairly soon. In the meantime, I want you to remain in the infirmary under Dr. Frasier's supervision. She has informed me of the physical strain you have suffered as a result of these. . .incidents."
"Yes, sir," Sam answered, glancing over at her teammates.
General Hammond finished, leaving the room. O'Neill glanced over at Carter, a look of hesitance on his face. "Are you sure you want to do this, Sam?"
"I have to. I don't know what to do, and frankly, it scares me," Sam answered bluntly.
She lay in the infirmary, staring quietly at the ceiling. A few electrodes were attached to her forehead, monitoring her vitals on the screen to the right of her bed. The past week had been unnerving, to say the least. She felt as though she were losing her mind. But most of all, she felt a deep, unbearable grief. A depression which she had never experienced before.
Brushing all of that aside for the moment, she remembered SG-1's first meeting with the Tok'Ra. She had found Martouf to be a strong, sympathetic ally. And when he held her hand in his on that desert plain, she felt something strange. A connection. That was the only fitting word she could come up with. She had felt strangely drawn to him. She remembered when her father had taken the Tok'Ra symbiont, lying unconscious inside the caves. Martouf had waited at her side. He was willing to stay behind with her as the Tok'Ra fled the attacking Go'uald ships.
A friendship, she thought. That's what it was. She had felt a deep friendship with him. But now a part of her was arguing in favor of Jolinar's feelings. Feelings which ran much deeper than any she had ever experienced, even with her one-time fiancé. She was scared to touch upon those feelings. Scared she would be pulled into the fury and strength of Jolinar's spirit. A friendship, she reminded herself. A voice inside of her stirred.More. The image of his face flashed briefly in her mind. But for that brief time, she understood what Jolinar had felt. And she wept inwardly. To see his face again. . .
To be continued. . .
Visit my homepage, dedicated to SciFi, athttp://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/6256/
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Lorina Dara Raenon
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Everlasting Series 2: Promise Me
by Lorina Dara RaenonSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis