The Shadow Within
The Shadow Within
by Lorina Dara Raenon
TITLE: The Shadow Within
AUTHOR: Lorina Dara Raenon
EMAIL:majorlorina@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Romance/Angst/, Sam/Martouf
SPOILERS: 'In the Line of Duty', 'The Tok'Ra' (Part 1 and 2), 'There But For the Grace of God'
SEASON / SEQUEL: Takes place after season two.
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: A little seduction, but nothing too bad to warrant an R.J
SUMMARY: Trapped in an alternate universe, Samantha Carter stumbles upon a familiar face.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author, Lorina.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Remember--Christina Georgina Rossetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Weapons fire erupted from behind the tall structure. Her teeth clenched as a strong arm lashed out and pressed tightly against her neck. More hands grabbed her as she struggled, fought, and lashed out. The sounds of her comrades in the distance kept her fighting. Rapid gunshots echoed across the land. When she ran out of strength to struggle, her abductors dragged her across the dirt. They hauled her into the building silently. She tried another attempt at escape. This time, a weapon was brutally thrust into her side out of punishment. A scream escaped her lips and she sunk down. The enemy continued to prod her along.
They passed through several rooms until finally reaching their destination. She glanced up, wiping away the blood that spotted her lip. A smooth, shining artifact stood alone. She immediately recognized it. Daniel, she remembered. Daniel passed through this before. It was a gateway, she remembered, to another universe. Even though the idea was at first scoffed at, the theory behind it was plausible. It was possible. And the myth was soon to be realized, as the men behind her thrust her towards the darkened looking glass.
Darkness. Dark, impenetrable and consuming. A soft mutter woke Carter from her unconsciousness. She rolled her head to the side, trying to find the source of the sound, but soon realized it had escaped from her own lips. She lifted a hand to her head to find that her helmet was gone. Glancing around in the darkness, her eyes slowly adjusted. She was able to discern a small amount of light filtering through a small hole in the wall and into the dark room. Sam tried to sit up, but a gut wrenching pain in her side forced a stifled cry from her lips. She clutched her side in pain, wincing as she examined the wound with her fingers. Something warm and slippery slid through her fingers. She was bleeding,
Sam slowly stood up, biting her lip to keep quiet, and allowed her head a chance to stop spinning. Shuffling to the source of the light, she probed the small hole on what appeared to be a door. A peep hole? She couldn't be sure. A scrape sounded behind her and the captain whirled around quickly, fists raised in defense.
"That's the door. You'll never get out. I tried," a small voice echoed from the dark.
Sam recognized the voice of a child and responded. "Do you know where we are?"
"No," the child answered.
Sam took a moment to focus on the small form huddled in the corner. Taking a tentative step towards the tiny prisoner, she reached out a hand. The child scurried away in fear. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you," Sam said calmly. She waited a moment to judge the little girl's reaction. "My name is Samantha. What's yours?"
"Alysha," the child answered.
"That's a nice name," Sam said softly, a chill at her spine. A human name, she thought. How did this human girl get here? "How long have you been here, Alysha?"
The girl moved a little closer, apparently at ease with the gentle tone of Sam's voice. "I don't know," she whimpered.
Sam felt a small hand clasp hers. Gently pulling the girl into what little light there was, she stooped beside her. The girl looked no more than seven or eight. Her long brown hair was tangled behind her back. Her large, liquid eyes bore the unmistakable signs of fatigue and malnourishment.
"Don't worry," Sam reassured. "I'm going to get you out of here."
Heavy footsteps sounded outside, and the terrified child backed into the dark corner. "You won't," she answered in a frightened voice. "They're gonna take you too."
Sam's eyes widened as a grating sound echoed from outside the door. It swung open, spilling light into the dark prison. A tall, unmistakable silhouette stood in the doorway, staff in hand, and left fist clenched. A Jaffa, she realized. He marched inside, grabbing Sam by the arm. As she tried to struggle away from the grip, the guard pushed the staff weapon towards her neck. Alysha cried out from the corner, and Sam tried to turn her head, but it was if no use. The guard thrust Sam out the door and slammed it shut.
"Where are you taking me?" Sam demanded.
The guard frowned, prodding her with his weapon as she stumbled deliriously ahead of him. She bitterly fought back the pain that each blow brought to her wound. Finally reaching a Goa'uld transport device, the Jaffa activated the mechanism. Transport rings descended from the ceiling, stacking around the two in a dizzying hum. The corridor in front of her disappeared. A new room reappeared. A room lacking the sterility of the prison she had found herself in. It's light was dimmed slightly, but by no means as dark as before. The room was furnished in spectacular elegance. Large statues of animals in a distinctive Egyptian motif guarded the room in an domineering manner. Daniel would go nuts with a find like this, Sam smirked.
As soon as the rings ascended back into the ceiling, the Jaffa pushed Sam forward. She nearly lost her footing. Following the guard's orders, she moved towards the opposite side of the room. A large rectangular object lay ahead. Sam suddenly realized what it was. A sarcophagus. She hesitated a moment, and felt the hard blow of the Jaffa's staff to her back.
"Bow before your god, Tau'ri!" he barked, shoving the end of his staff into her back.
She sprawled, hands first, onto the cold, marble floor. As she tried to lift herself up, the sarcophagus' lid slowly slid open. Her heart tensed for a moment, her breath stopped, and she could feel her throat tighten. Samantha shuddered as a hand reached over the edge of the rim and gripped the side firmly. The fingers dug into the device's metal structure and strained slightly as the individual within raised itself upwards. A head appeared, followed by armored shoulders. In the dim light of the room, Sam was unable to make out the face of the Goa'uld. But as he turned his head, the light from within the sarcophagus fell upon a face all too familiar. Sam gasped in shock.
"Martouf," the name fell hoarsely from her lips.
He turned his head inquisitively, studying the Tau'ri with an dispassionate gaze. He looked over at the guard sharply, the light playing devilishly across his chiseled features. "Leave," the unmistakable voice of Lantesh ordered.
The guard bowed briefly before exiting the room. Sam pushed herself onto her knees and watched carefully as Lantesh lifted himself fully from the Goa'uld rejuvenation device and planted a firm foot on the ground. He stood with a pride that almost seemed on the verge of conceit. Grey eyes narrowed. He walked slowly towards her, placing a foot firmly in front of the other. His gait was reminiscent of a cat. The Tok'ra she knew was no longer dressed in the modest clothes as the others of his kind. Instead, he wore the familiar gold armor similar to that which Apophis had sported.
Sam opened her mouth to say something, but found herself speechless. Lantesh walked slowly around her as she knelt on the floor. He lifted a finger to his lips in thought and scrutinized her for what seemed like hours.
"You will make an excellent vessel for my mate," he stated bluntly.
Sam shuddered at the thought of another Goa'uld possessing her body. She continued to stare ahead, but allowed herself a moment to look at him from the corner of her eye. "There are no Tok'ra in this universe, I take it," she muttered almost beneath her breath.
"What?" Lantesh snapped, turning on his heels to face her. "What did you say?"
"I know you," she answered quietly, "or at least someone like you."
Lantesh drew up close to her and for a moment, she could feel his breath upon her neck. He grabbed her chin and turned her head to face his. His penetrating stare was almost hypnotic. Sam tried to look away, but could not divert her eyes. "You held a Goa'uld," he remarked.
Sam opened her mouth, still entranced, eyes opened in silent shock. "Yes," she answered softly.
Lantesh narrowed his eyes in suspicion and thought for a moment. He glanced strangely at her before rising up and calling to the guard outside. The Jaffa rushed in obediently. "Take this Tau'ri and prepare her for the joining," Lantesh ordered. His voice still echoed with prestige, but something seemed to have changed. Sam couldn't put her finger on it. But she looked back at him as the guard dragged her out. Lantesh quickly turned away, a long, slow smile spreading across his face.
Sunlight filtered in through tall windows and settled calmly upon the expansive marble floor of a large chamber. Various servants darted between a table and the lone figure they waited upon. One bent down to adjust the long, translucent wrap that cascaded over a white dress. Another fitted the captive's arms with gold arm bands. The third arranged a golden headdress atop the woman's blond hair.
Samantha's eyes settled vacantly upon the floor. She was in some sort of alternate universe, in captivity, with no means of returning to her own universe. The thought of another joining was unsettling, to say the least. Her stomach churned with fear, and it was fear that paralyzed her body. The servant girls mulled around her, dressing her in long flowing garments, and adorning her with jewels and precious metals.
She finally broke away from the trance that had claimed her for the past several minutes. Looking down at her dress, panic tugged at her throat, and she watched as the nonchalant servants went on with their business. Maybe there was a way to escape, she thought. But with guards just outside the doors, and countless more beyond, she had no hope in hell of escaping. Calm down Sam, she thought, there is no way you're gonna be turned into a Goa'uld.
She couldn't help but think about Martouf. If he was indeed a true Goa'uld, then his memories were buried deep under those of Lantesh. What was he like in this reality? She probably would never know. The strong vice of a Goa'uld upon the mind of its host was almost unbreakable.
Could Martouf break through? Was he strong enough? She found the strange bond they shared strangely attractive. She never admitted that to anyone. Not a soul. But there was a side to him that terrified her. The alien that resided in him remained shrouded with mystery. Was Lantesh really benign? Was Martouf being completely honest about his symbiote? She remembered the time that Apophis had fallen into their hands. When Martouf came to Earth to appeal for the system lord's release, a darker side of him had shown itself. He wasn't able to suppress Lantesh's pride and harsh candidness.
Now Sam found herself in a world where all her fears had come true. Not only had a. . .friend. . .turned evil, but he also had her slated as the next host for his mate. Was it Jolinar? A shiver ran up her spine as she remembered Jolinar's presence not long ago. Martouf had once offered her the role as host of Selmac. But he dropped the idea once he saw her emotional reaction. It was that empathy that had surprised her. Martouf adhered to the strict codes of Tok'ra conduct. No one was forced into becoming a host. It had not worked this time. She was getting the symbiote whether she liked it or not.
The door opened and the heavy clangs of metallic boots upon a marble floor sounded throughout the large room. Sam glanced up from her daydreaming to see three serpent guards approaching. She glanced around, startled, to find the servants backing away from their task, heads bowed and hands folded. The whole idea of what was about to happen never completely sunk in until she felt the strong grasp of a guard's hand upon her arm. She looked up in horror. Her mouth opened in shock, but no sound escaped. A death sentence for her.
The journey she traveled flashed by. Her mind raced. As she neared a large door, the guards' grip tightened. They swung open the tall doors and pushed her inside. It took her a moment to gather her senses. Inside the room, a woman stood underneath a bright light, her back to Sam. Sam glanced sharply to the side. Martouf stood to one side with an order of hooded Goa'uld priests flanking him. A strange glimmer in his eye caused her to take a second, confused look. She looked at him, pleading silently as she struggled against the guards' grip.
"Martouf. Please, you can't do this," Sam cried out, attempting to retain her composure.
"Why do you address me by that name, Tau'ri? I am Lantesh. You will learn to fear that name," he answered sharply.
"I know you. I know you would never hurt me. You swore you would never force me to become a host," she added.
Martouf glanced back with a confused look in his eyes. "You are mistaken," he answered sharply.
"No, I'm not. You know the bond we share," Sam said in vain.
Martouf motioned for the guards to direct her towards a table. Once there, they lifted her up and pressed her flat against it, face down. Sam turned her head, her eyes widened in fear. The woman turned to face her. Sam gasped. The woman was not Nevneti, Jolinar's former host. The host looked ill. Dark circles under her eyes were the first indication of a sickness. A faint flash in the woman's eyes reminded Sam of the situation.
"This host is dying. You will become the new vessel for Nevneti," Lantesh explained proudly, standing aloof.
Panic gripped Sam. She turned her head to face Lantesh. "You can't do this! Martouf, listen to me! You cannot do this!"
"Stop!" Lantesh hissed. "Why do you constantly badger this. . ..shell?"
"Because I know Martouf would listen to me. Iknowhim. He knows he could never inflict pain on me," Sam cried out.
Lantesh looked away from her pleading eyes with a small amount of discomfort in his own. He folded his hands behind his back in an attempt to keep his authority.
"Martouf once told me that whatever the host feels, the symbiote also feels. If Martouf carries feelings for me. . .then Lantesh would also. He wouldn't allow this," Sam continued.
Lantesh walked closer, pressing a finger to his lips. "Why is it that you have this bond with this. . .this other Lantesh?"
"Because, for a short time, I was host to his mate. His mate's name was Jolinar," Sam watched Lantesh carefully, trying to find any indication of hesitation on his part.
Lantesh glanced over strangely at the dying host, who merely looked back vacantly. He glanced down at Sam, stooping down to face her. "And what became of Jolinar?"
"She died," Sam answered sadly, "saving me."
Lantesh scoffed for a moment. "Why would a Goa'uld die to save the life of a Tau'ri?"
Sam's eyes filled with determination. "Because she wasn't a Goa'uld. . ..she was a Tok'ra."
Lantesh looked on in confusion. "What is a. . .Tok'ra?"
No Tok'ra in this universe? No wonder the Goa'uld were powerful. . .there was no resistance. Sam remained on the table, her face pressed onto the cold surface. She thought a moment before answering. "The Tok'ra are a resistance group to the Goa'uld. They believe in sharing control with their hosts."
"And what benefit would a Goa'uld find in this. . ..arrangement."
"Life with integrity. . .with honor. A peaceful coexistence between two beings," Sam answered.
"My lord," a voice from amidst the discussion croaked.
Lantesh turned to face Nevneti. "What is it?" he snapped.
"I must take leave of this host now," she answered.
Lantesh looked back at Sam. She glanced back passively, closing her eyes for a moment in silent prayer.
"Very well," Lantesh decided.
The woman stepped towards Sam. Carter's eyes widened in surprise. She struggled furiously to get up, but a guard pressed her head down. "No!" she yelled, her face straining.
"Don't be afraid," Nevneti smiled wickedly. "Your meager life will have some meaning after the joining." Nevneti drew a cold finger across the back of Sam's neck.
"Martouf," Sam yelled out of desperation, "please! You can't do this!"
The female Goa'uld bent over Sam and whispered in her ear. "Hold still."
"Martouf! If you can hear me, you must stop this!" Sam screamed.
Lantesh remained motionless, watching with a passive expression on his face. His eyes shifted abruptly to Nevneti, as she bent over her new host, the Goa'uld struggling to get out.
"Lantesh. . .you must have some good in you. Both of you. . .you and Martouf. . .loved Jolinar more then anything. After she died, you found a piece of her in me. That must mean something to you. You can't do this. You can't throw away your love," Sam begged.
She dropped her forehead down against the cool surface of the table and gritted her teeth as Nevneti's drew closer to her neck. It would happen now. Not with the quiet dignity that her father had experienced with Selmac, but with the pain and brutality only a Goa'uld could deal out. Sam let out a desperate wail towards Lantesh. "I loved you," she wept, ignoring the embarrassment the words would normally have carried.
"Quiet," the host shrieked, grabbing the back of her neck and digging her nails into Sam's skin. The Goa'uld turned to Lantesh. "I dislike this one." She wrapped her hands around Sam's neck and squeezed hard, cutting off her airway.
Sam choked, twisting her head to the side to see Lantesh. He glanced back darkly from the shadows, amidst his servants, watching the situation with a strange passiveness. As the oxygen flowing to her brain began to dwindle, Sam's eyes fixed upon Lantesh. She made a silent plea for her life before the room began to darken. A distant thud sounded. Someone grabbed her arm. And after that. . .nothing. . .
Sam awoke slowly, and groggily. Sunlight filtered in through a window of some sort, and over her body. Beneath her hands she could feel the soft texture of a blanket. She moaned as she shifted. Opening her eyes, she found herself lying in a large, ornate bed. Memories suddenly came back with a vengeance. The host. . ..the symbiote. . .and him. She closed her eyes again to collect her thoughts. A shuffle from nearby snapped her from her listless state.
"Martouf?" she cried out, trying to sit up.
Lantesh drew across her field of vision, scrutinizing her with narrowed eyes. The long cape that hung from his shoulders brushed back as he neared the bed.
When she realized it was not the Martouf she knew, but Lantesh, she drew in an uncomfortable breath. Her throat ached and she coughed uncontrollably. Her blue eyes glanced up again at the approaching Goa'uld with apprehension. "What do you want?"
Lantesh remained tight-lipped, glancing down at her. His eyes trailed across her body and she shifted uncomfortably beneath the blanket.
"What happened? Where did the host go?" Sam questioned.
The system lord paused. "She is dead," he explained hauntingly, "I killed her. . .and the Goa'uld."
"Your mate? Why am I here?" Sam asked.
Lantesh moved closer, bending down to look straight into her eyes. "I am intrigued by this thing you call the Tok'ra."
"What does that have to do with me?" Sam asked, sitting up.
"I grow tired of this existence," Lantesh admitted, rubbing his forehead dramatically.
"I've never heard a Goa'uld say that before," Sam said softly. "But if one was to turn. . .it would be Martouf. . .or Lantesh. . ..whomever."
"You seem to know a lot about us," the system lord said.
"I do," Sam answered, fixing her eyes warily upon him.
Lantesh lifted a finger to her face and brushed it across her cheek softly. She pulled away, shuddering, and glancing back with an expression of fear. "You said you loved me."
"What?" Sam asked in shock. "No, I wasn't thinking. I meant something else."
Lantesh turned her face towards his. "No. . .you did not. I can sense it."
Sam tried to turn away again, but found herself paralyzed. His piercing, gray eyes held an almost hypnotic quality. She felt as though she would drown in them. His face moved closer to hers. Sam shuddered slightly when she felt his breath upon her neck. His lips drew close to hers. But before they touched, his eyes flashed briefly, much to the surprise of Carter. Something different came over the Goa'uld system lord. His face seemed to flood with emotion. He drew closer, with more determination, and his lips brushed across hers. A hand rested gently against the back of her head as he drew her closer. His mouth moved tenderly over hers and she whimpered slightly.
Sam shuddered as Lantesh's fingers grazed the back of her neck. She pulled away, rubbing her neck as though it had been wounded. "Why did you do that?" her voice sounded small.
Lantesh glanced back with wavering eyes. "I meant no harm," he insisted, his voice strangely human now.
"You are a Goa'uld," Sam pointed out.
"You are mistaken," he answered cryptically, "I am not."
"Martouf?" Samantha cried out.
"Yes," he answered, pulling her hands into his own. His voice grew more urgent, "Now I must tell you. . .no. . .warn you. You must not. . .." he stopped abruptly, his face straining in pain.
"Martouf?" she whispered, feeling his hands lift away.
"No!" he screamed, his head jerking to one side.
"Martouf! What's happening?" Sam cried out.
Finally, the man turned his head, offering an apologetic smile. Concern filling her blue eyes, she lifted her hand in the direction of the door.
"Listen to me," Sam insisted, "I have to go back. You have to take me back to the device."
"For what purpose?" the voice of Lantesh asked nonchalantly.
Sam looked startled. "For what purpose? I have to return to my own universe. It's where I belong."
"You do not have to go," Lantesh said, lowering his head, "You have taught us much. I would like to hear more about the Tok'ra. More about you," he said, touching her face momentarily.
Sam bit her lip for a moment. Could this be the start of an uprising among the Goa'uld of this universe? Lantesh smiled. He smiled. Something felt very wrong. The first clue was Martouf's strange struggle before Lantesh returned. The lingering emotions from the kiss were difficult to shake.
"Why do you want to know so much about the Tok'ra?" Sam asked suspiciously.
"I am curious. Perhaps I could convince others to join against the other system lords," he answered, his eyes characteristically smiling.
"No," Sam said boldly, "this doesn't make sense. A Goa'uld would not turn on its own kind that quickly. You've been unusually helpful, to say the least."
Lantesh stiffened up slightly, "I only wish to bring change to my existence. I wish to have you here. . .with me."
"No. No. . .I don't believe you. You've been using me!" she accused, standing up abruptly as her dress swirled about her legs.
"We share a bond," Lantesh said enticingly, completely ignoring her accusation, and standing up before her.
"Stop it," Sam hissed, pulling away from his close proximity.
"You can feel it. Can you not?" Lantesh said, an almost seductive quality to his voice. He loomed closer, running a hand across her face.
Sam stood paralyzed for a moment. He isnotMartouf, she constantly reminded herself. Hecan'tbe. "Tell me of the Tok'ra," he whispered in her ear.
"No!" Sam shouted, backing away from the Goa'uld and visibly shuddering. "I will not tell you, Lantesh!"
Lantesh scowled, pulling away from her. Eyes flashing, and teeth bared, he raised his head high. "I will extract the information from you," he snarled, his voice clearly distorted under Goa'uld influence.
Sam turned quickly, running across the marble floor with her robes fluttering behind her. She reached the tall doors of Lantesh's private chamber and pulled them open with little effort. Adrenaline high, and heart racing, she darted down the short corridor, screeching to a halt at the end. Right or left. Both corridors ended with a small door. Which one? Which one, she panicked. A small clatter sounded at her feet.
"Down here," a small, familiar voice sounded.
Sam looked down to find a familiar face poking out of an open ventilation duct. "Alysha! How did you get out?"
"I'll tell you later. I think the guards are coming. Follow me," the little girl answered, pulling back into the duct.
Sam knelt on the floor, assessing the size of the duct. Finally, she spared a cautious glance down the empty corridor before slipping inside. After pulling her legs through, she shut the small hatch and crawled away quickly. The girl moved lithely through the labyrinth of ducts, occasionally looking behind at Sam.
"Where are we going?" Sam questioned softly.
"It's just ahead," Alysha responded, tossing her hair behind her back.
"What is?" Sam asked in a strained voice.
"The portal," the little girl answered dismissively.
Sam opened her mouth in confusion. "But how did you know. . ."
"Shhhhh. There isn't much time. The guards will discover us soon. We must hurry," Alysha answered, an elevated tone to her young voice.
The duct ended abruptly with a small hatch. Turning onto her stomach, the small girl pried the metal plate off with her fingers. It clattered to the floor, much to Sam's discomfort. The girl leapt out, raising herself from the floor, and brushed away the dust from her clothes. Sam squirmed out of the duct, casting a suspicious glance at the girl. Why would she be concerned about the state of her clothes after being imprisoned for weeks?
Sam lifted herself to her feet, glancing about the small room. The walls were windowless, but cartouche upon cartouche of gold hieroglyphs lined the walls. Set in the center, as if being displayed as a trophy, was a device all too familiar. A ticket home, Sam noted. The device was similar to that encountered by SG-1 some time ago on another world. A world which had been completely destroyed by the Goa'uld, spare the tiny facility housing various alien artifacts. The object, which stood before her, was one of those artifacts. Resembling a long mirror, it's smooth surface was curiously dark. The edges were worn and uneven, as though this portal were a smaller fragment of a larger one. Sam circled the artifact for a moment before glancing up at Alysha.
"Who are you?" she asked pointedly, her brow furrowed.
"What do you mean?" the girl innocently.
"Please," Sam cried out in exasperation, "spare me this charade. I've heard enough lies. Who are you? How do you know so much about this portal?"
The little girl slowly paced the room, her dark eyes taking on a strange maturity. "My race created this device," she answered, running a hand proudly along the edge of the portal.
"You created this portal?" Sam stopped to consider the statement. "Why are you here? How. . .how did you find me?" Samantha stammered.
"You ask many questions," the girl said enigmatically.
"It's important that I go back through the portal," Sam tried to explain.
The girl lifted a finger to her lips. "Yes, we know. You do not belong here."
"How do you know so much about me?" Sam asked stepping forward.
"We have studied your race before. Another of your kind passed through a portal, not too long ago," the girl replied.
"Daniel," Sam responded.
The girl remained quiet, her eyes sparkling as though lit up by some inner energy. She stood motionless before the portal, her arms hanging limply at her sides.
"Why is this portal here? At this Goa'uld complex?" a concerned tone entered Carter's voice.
"The Goa'uld stole this one from us. I was sent to bring it back. It is a very powerful and very dangerous tool," the girl explained, "especially in the hands of our mortal enemy."
"Yes, I know. The Goa'uld could use it to travel to another universe and conquer it just as they are trying to do with ours," Sam nodded.
"Exactly," the girl smiled. "Which is why we must guard the barrier which separates each dimension. It is my people's duty."
Sam glanced around quickly as an urgent expression filled her face. "I have to go back. The Goa'uld could be on their way."
"I will activate the portal for you," the girl responded, picking up the control device from a nearby table.
Heavy, clanging footsteps sounded from outside the room. Sam's eyes widened and she whipped her head around. "They're coming!"
The girl slid her hand over the controls and watched passively as the portal activated. The door to the small chamber swung open. Serpent guards rushed in with staff weapons drawn and aimed at the captain. The metal of their armor clanged loudly as they positioned themselves around Sam. She looked back at the girl, noting how the Goa'uld paid no attention to her presence. The girl merely stood aloof from the mob and watched silently. A figure stepped quickly from behind the guards, and into the middle of the room. Lantesh. He frowned, tossing a robe behind his sculptured frame, and glared at Sam.
"You dare to escape the Goa'uld?" he lashed out.
Sam remained silent, studying the face of the creature who had deceived her. Whereas before, Martouf's appearance had been warm and kind, it now held a unforgiving darkness. "Leave me alone," she answered coolly.
Lantesh lunged out, grabbing Sam by the throat. She tried to rip away his fingers, but they tightened around her neck. As she sunk to the floor, Lantesh smiled wickedly. He opened his hand wide, exposing the ribbon device employed by many system lords. Samantha struggled in his grasp. Holding the device over Sam's forehead, he activated it. Samantha cried out as excruciating pain filled her head. It was familiar. She could remember when Jolinar was tortured with the device, eventually dying from her injuries. Is this it, she thought.
Sam glanced up at her executioner. For a moment, they locked eyes. Sam shuddered as waves of pain flooded her mind. The only anchor in the fury of the torture was Lantesh's passive gaze. She locked onto the memory of Martouf. Of his tender smile and haunting eyes. She could almost feel his hand clasp hers, as they had done on the dunes of a Tok'ra world. That image carried her through the pain. Blue eyes filled with tears and begged for compassion. Suddenly, the pain ended. Very unexpectedly. Sam slumped to the floor, still conscious, and shaking in the aftermath. She pressed a hand firmly against the polished floor and lifted her body up enough to face Lantesh. He stood paralyzed, staring down at her, with his arm still outstretched. The gray eyes she had become familiar with displayed a strange, sad gaze.
"Why. . .what. . ."
"Go," the undistorted voice of Martouf interrupted.
Sam slowly pulled herself up, wincing at the damage the ribbon device had inflicted. She gawked at the change in Lantesh.
"I said go," he shouted, his voice almost cracking with the faint trace of emotion, "quickly!"
Sam glanced over at the serpent guards before turning her attention back to Martouf. His eyes were stricken with something. Remorse? She couldn't tell. But he lowered his head slightly as a silent farewell. A farewell that said. . .we will never meet again, I will continue to play Lantesh's pawn and there isn't anything that can change that. . .go before this beast returns and tries to hurt you again. There was no exchange of words amongst the two. Just the silent sorrow that each sensed in the other. Sam glanced back one more time as she lifted a tentative hand towards the portal. The Goa'uld nightmare melted away in a brief flash of light.
Sam stood in darkened room, with only the portal shining dimly. Tears dried on her cheeks and she lifted an arm to wipe them clean. A moment later, a small voice sounded from behind her. Sam whirled around deliriously, to find the strange girl standing before her.
"We're back, aren't we?" Sam said solemnly.
"Yes," the girl replied. "I have destroyed the other portal. The Goa'uld will not be able to use it."
Sam stood peacefully in the darkness for several moments. "I'm tired," she muttered, feeling the strain of the whole ordeal tugging at her body and mind.
"Follow me," the creature said.
A hand reached out for hers and gently tugged her along. Sam's head swirled. The Goa'uld ribbon device had taken its toll. Sinking to her knees, she could still feel Lantesh's fingers digging into her throat. She could almost see his face, eyes narrowed, and chiseled features dark with shadow. The face that had once been amiable, tender, and sympathetic. The last thing she remembered was the memory of Lantesh kissing her. A wave of fear and nausea passed over her and she blacked out.
"Carter," a dim voice echoed.
"Go away," she mumbled.
"Carter," the voice said again.
"Leave me alone," she whimpered softly, "please."
"Wake up," the voice said insistently.
The world around her slowly stopped swirling. It was extremely disorienting, as though being spun around in a top. The voices that sounded around her seemed like remnants of a dream. But as the dizziness passed, Sam's grip on reality slowly returned. She first noticed the texture beneath her hands. A blanket, she realized. Where was she? She started to panic. White knuckles clenched the blanket.
Janet Frasier leaned over the medical bed and glanced down at Samantha Carter. She lay stretched out, in hospital garb, with an IV leading from her arm. Jack O'Neill leaned over Frasier's shoulder, impatiently waiting the results of her exam. He glanced over quickly at Sam's dad, Jacob, and his Tok'ra companion, Martouf. The two had been summoned following Sam's abduction several days earlier. While on a mission to P3X 733, a Jaffa strike team had grabbed Carter. Despite the attempts to free her, SG-1 were clearly outnumbered and outgunned. It was strange, O'Neill mused, why did they take her?
Jacob had dispatched Tok'ra scouts to the planet, but found it to be deserted. Very strange, O'Neill thought. The planet did not seem to hold any particular importance. There was no Goa'uld stronghold, no displaced colony, nothing. Absolutely nothing. Perhaps the Goa'uld's only objective was the capture of one of SG-1. But why Carter?
"Hey, doc!" O'Neill said impatiently.
"She's coming around, sir," Frasier answered sharply. "From what I've seen, I would have to say the captain was tortured with one of the Goa'uld devices. I believe the same one which was used upon her when she held the Tok'ra symbiote."
"A ribbon device?" Jacob asked worriedly, glancing down at his daughter.
"I think so," Janet nodded. "Aside from some cuts and bruises, she appears to be alright physically."
"It appears she was almost strangled," Martouf observed grimly, leaning in closely to touch the discolored areas of Sam's neck.
Sam lurched unexpectedly. She screamed loudly, thrashing about in the bed. "No! Get away from me!"
"Samantha. It is me. . ."
O'Neill lifted a hand in front of Martouf. "Just a sec," he said quietly, before turning his attention to a delusional Carter. "Sam, it's me, Jack."
"Jack?" she whispered, calming down considerably.
"Yes, it's me. Shhhh. You're okay. You're back at SGC," Jack said softly, glancing up at Martouf, shrugging. "Sam, can you tell me who did this to you?"
Sam murmured softly, her mouth tugging downward in sorrow. She lifted a hand to her face and sobbed uncontrollably.
"Please Sammy, this is important. Tell us who did this to you," Jacob urged.
"L. . .Lantesh," Sam cried out.
Silence fell on the room as all heads turned towards Martouf. He stood speechless, his normally passive, grey eyes wide with shock. "I. . .I do not understand this," he muttered.
Jack glanced over at Martouf. "Maybe you should leave until she settles down, I. . ."
"No," Sam interrupted, her blue eyes carrying a determination. "Please stay."
Martouf glanced down at Carter and nodded
"There is a lot I have to tell you," she began, glancing around the room.
"Did this alien tell you anything about her kind?" Daniel asked curiously, leaning over the conference table.
SG-1 was assembled in their customary seats. General Hammond headed the table. Jacob and Martouf sat across from Sam. They had spent the last few hours listening to Sam's account of her abduction and eventual escape. Martouf had sat back motionless, with an air of unease resting on his chiseled features. His eyes settled on the table as Sam finished her debriefing.
Sam shook her head wearily, the remnants of her ordeal nearly passed. "Only that her race built the conduit that you and I experienced. From what I have gathered, the Goa'uld have been trying to get their hands on it."
"Why did this. . .other. . .Lantesh choose to bring you across?" Jack spoke up, his voice ringing with frustration.
Sam cleared her throat lightly, her eyes darting across the group. "I suppose because of my intimate knowledge of the Tok'ra," she replied, glancing quickly over at Martouf. "Lantesh was very interested in that particular knowledge. He used the façade of his host to trick me into revealing that information."
Martouf glanced curiously at Sam as she quickly diverted her gaze towards Hammond. She could feel his glare even after she had turned her head.
"But there was some good in him," Daniel interjected, "since he let you go."
"I suppose so," Sam trailed off. She didn't want to explain the sad circumstances behind her departure. The way she had to leave him.
"Well, we're all glad to have you back, captain," Hammond exclaimed, his moderate southern drawl rounding off his words.
"I am curious, sir," Sam asked, "how did I get back here?"
George Hammond glanced over at Jack and Teal'c. Teal'c turned his attention to Carter. "The gate was activated from another source. You fell through," he answered bluntly.
"Then the girl must have sent me through, from wherever it was, we were," Sam speculated.
"No doubt the Goa'uld from the other reality will try again to obtain the device," Teal'c said grimly.
"Well, as long as we have these aliens on our side protecting these portals, we should be a little safer," Jack ventured.
"But we must be vigilant. We must learn as much as we can about these devices," General Hammond pointed out.
"Perhaps we'll run into the creators soon," Daniel added thoughtfully.
Sam glanced up, rubbing her arms as though a chill had swept over her. "I wonder if he'll try again." The room lay silent as Sam's words reverberated across the room, leaving an icy chill on the group. Martouf glanced up at Sam, his hand tightening slightly.
General Hammond closed the meeting quickly. Sam remained aloof from her comrades, paying no attention as they filtered through the door. Jacob rested a gentle hand on her shoulder as he passed by. Sam closed her eyes, propping her arm upon the conference table and resting her face in her hands. She gentle massaged her forehead, thinking of the pain of the ribbon. The painheinflicted upon her. She shuddered, a chill running up her spine again. A rustling sound stirred her from her quiet lamentation. Her blue eyes snapped open and she found Martouf still seated across from her. Dragging a tired hand across her moist cheek, she sat up slightly.
"You're still here," she remarked softly.
Martouf sat back in his chair, his hands resting on the edge of the table, and his steely, penetrating gaze unwavering. "What was he like?" Martouf asked, a solemn, almost angered look upon his handsome face.
Sam breathed a heavy sigh, pushing back the flood of emotions that had accumulated over the past few days. She cupped her head in her hands for a moment before brushing them through her tousled hair and looking up. "He. . ..he was very different," she answered slowly. Her eyes grew moist as she tried to find the words to explain. "I've never known you to be like that. .. .to act as a Goa'uld."
Martouf lowered his head, allowing Lantesh to assume control. His head bobbed up and Lantesh's eyes flashed briefly. "If I could, I would make that Goa'uld pay!" he spat out.
"I know. I knew that you would never intentionally hurt me," she said softly. "For a moment, I thoughthewas sincere. But I knew it was all a hoax."
Lantesh sighed. "What happened?"
Sam glanced up at him for a moment, shame flashing in her eyes. "He tried to. . .to seduce me into giving out information." Sam lowered her head and glanced down awkwardly. "He took pity on me before the Goa'uld was to be passed to me. I thought I had reached some good inside of him. I thought he had saved my life out of compassion. For a moment. . .I thought he had become you," Sam's voice trailed off.
Lantesh remained motionless for a moment. He stood up, walking around to Sam's side of the table. He leaned in against the edge of the table, and dropped his head in thought. Sam got up quickly, moving away from him. She turned her back towards the Tok'ra and sulked. "He will never harm you again," Lantesh vowed darkly.
Sam listened to his words. She heard him approach from behind. "Samantha," the undistorted voice of Martouf had returned.
"Please," she answered quietly, "maybe you should go."
"I cannot," he answered, resting a hand on her shoulder.
She shuddered slightly at the touch, remembering the betrayal.
"There is something you are not telling me," he observed.
Sam turned her head slightly, hiding the tears that had streamed down her face. "Just before I left. . .when Lantesh was torturing me with the ribbon device, I begged him to let me go. He did," she confessed. Martouf listened intently as she continued. "Somehow. . .the other Martouf was able to break through. He let me escape through the portal."
The two remained silent for a moment. Martouf looked down in deep thought before glancing back up at Samantha Carter. "He was strong."
"To remain trapped in one's own body without any control is. . ." Sam shuddered at the thought.
"Unimaginable," Martouf added solemnly.
"If I had been made a host. . ."
"You were not," Martouf said gently.
"Every time I close my eyes, I seehim," Sam cried softly. "I see that Lantesh. And I try to separate you fromhim. . .."
"Don't think abouthimanymore," Martouf answered, his voice rich with comfort.
The two remained silent. Martouf lowered his head in thought while Sam gazed at the wall, eyes unfocused in silent melancholy. She didn't want to tell him. Tell him what she had said to the other. . .to make him listen.I love you.The memory of being forced upon the cold, metallic table was disturbing, to say the least. Pleading words had escaped her lips that time. . ..and. . .now. . .
"I told him I loved you," she whispered unconsciously.
"What?" he asked, as though his ears were deceiving him.
"I. . ." she turned around slowly, a tear finding its way down the side of her cheek, "I told him I loved you."
Martouf's eyes wavered for a moment. What is he thinking, she thought. Why did I tell him, she kicked herself.
"I'm sorry," she responded in an embarrassed defense, "it's just that. . .I guess Jolinar's feelings surfaced."
Martouf studied her face. It felt like an eternity, and she wanted desperately to turn away from his soft eyes. He could read the lie in her eyes, she thought. Finally, he lifted an unsteady hand to her face and looped a finger beneath her chin. Her breath quickened. She glanced up into his eyes as his face loomed over hers. Her eyes closed as a shudder swept over her body. Soft, gentle lips pressed into hers. Alarms rang in her head. Every rational thought denounced her actions. But instinct gave way, and she surrendered.
Images flooded back into her mind. The other Martouf's face appeared in her mind. The other Lantesh seduced her. And to think, she had almost fallen forhim. Distress edged across her mind at the thought. A gentle hand caressed her face and she suddenly pulled back in fear. A gasp choked her throat, and she slid into the back of a chair. Slipping a hand over the chair, she moved away from Martouf.
"What is the matter?" he asked, his voice drawing the words out silkily.
"I. . .I don't know," her voice shook audibly. "Every time you touch me. . .I can't shake the feeling that you'rehim."
Martouf looked down at his hands before returning his steady gaze to her. "Samantha," he began, "I cannot change what he did to you. I cannot right the wrong which he has committed."
Sam bit her lip and crossed her arms, as though it added some measure of comfort.
Martouf stepped closer, raising his hands out to the side slightly. "Samantha, I do not wish you to fear me. You must know that I would never harm you. I see you have been scarred from this ordeal. Maybe it would be best if I left."
Sam's head shot up. Her eyes locked onto his for a moment. Then she silently nodded at the proposal. "You don't have to," she tried to add.
"I have to," Martouf said. "You need time to heal."
Her eyes rimmed with moisture. Martouf turned his head away, moving towards the door. Sam caught his sleeve as he brushed passed her. "How long?"
Turning his handsome face towards her, his soft gray eyes grazed hers. He managed a smile. "How ever long it takes you," his soothing voice assured. He turned away, walking through the open doorway.
"Wait," Sam blurted out. He stopped in the doorway, turning his head. "Thank you."
Martouf smiled widely, a melancholy quality lingered in his eyes. He bowed his head slightly in response before leaving the room.
Sleep was impossible. The thoughts of the day impeded a satisfied rest. He left the safety of the caves to travel to the surface. As the last of the transporter rings disappeared in the moist soil, he let out a heavy sigh. He stepped forward slowly with hands clasped behind his back. The tall trees of this world stretched far above a human's head. Much farther. He approached the rocky cliff that overlooked a mammoth sized valley. Glancing up into the night sky, he spotted the three moons high overhead.
But his eyes shifted away from the spectacular sight and settled upon the hundreds of stars that dotted the sky. She is out there, he thought. I could not tell her the truth, he accused himself. Every time he was near her. . .stop it, he chided. She isnotRosha. She is not Jolinar, Lantesh echoed. Does it matter? Does it really matter? How long must I mourn her passing? The answer fell silently upon his mind.
"I love you," his voice echoed strongly across the valley.
Drawing back the blinds from the window, Samantha gazed upon the city streets, cupping a mug of cocoa in one hand. A cool evening breeze drifted through the open window and brushed back the blinds lightly. The stars were bright this evening. She glanced up with a smile and admired the sight. Her mouth flickered for a moment as she remembered his departure. He was out there. .. .somewhere. What was he doing right now, she wondered.
There had been a time, when she was a child, during which her father was called away. It happened often. She would grab onto her father tightly before he left the house. Jacob would drop his bags and spread his arms widely as the youngster flew towards him. And as he pulled her back slightly, and noticed tears streaming down her face, he would tell her something. Holding her hand, he would lead her towards the window of their house. The two would stop before it, looking out at the early morning stars. Jacob would hoist her upon his shoulders and point out at the sky.
"See that, kiddo?" he would say.
Samantha would nod her head slowly.
"I might be far away, but you can always look up at the stars. I'll be looking up at the same sky," he would continue.
She stood before her own window now. He was out there somewhere. Her father. Martouf. Was Martouf looking up at the same stars? She leaned towards the upper part of the window, pressing the palm of her hand against the cool glass.
"I love you," she whispered.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Lorina Dara Raenon
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