WORMHOLE WHAT?
WORMHOLE WHAT?
by Leana Effrenus
Title: WORMHOLE WHAT?
Author: Leana Effrenus
Email: rbbr10664@blueyonder.co.uk
Category: Drama, Humor
Season: future Season
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary: We try to amuse, not ment to be hilarious, but distracting all the same.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
WORMHOLE WHAT?
PART - 1
I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you want to know?" Jessica Moon was five foot eleven, she had raven black hair which was pulled tightly back into a bun at the base of her neck, she had bright blue eyes and a slim though not skinny figure which made her the envy of most women she met, and to make it worse she didn't have to work for it, which same could not be said for either of the men she was talking to, the one who was doing the most talking was no more than five eight and his girth was not as he would have wanted it, added to his dull grey hair and even duller grey eyes he was less than imposing, as was his partner who could have been extremely striking if his clothes had been washed and his lank black hair washed and cut.
"What we want to know is why you have copied files off of the net onto your hard drive?" She looked at him, confused, "Well, the same reason as anyone else does I suppose, because I wanted them." He glared at her, "It would be easier if you didn't try to get cute with us." Jess's face as she answered was the picture of innocence, "But I'm not trying, it comes naturally." She paused and looked a little contrite, "Sorry, I can't help it, it's what comes with growing up with six older and very sarcastic brothers, sometimes it just happens before I can stop it." "I'm sure it does, but the point is we want to know why you downloaded those files." She tried to look serious but failed miserably, "Right, well I might be able to help you if I knew what files you were talking about." The man held out a copy of the "Wormhole X-tream" chat site. "That?" The man looked deadly serious, "Yes this, why did you copy it?" She smiled in disbelief, "Because they only keep them on the net for so long, and I like to read them now and then, hey I know the series isn't that good but it has its endearing qualities, the idea of travelling to other planets is great, and all the other cultures can be fun, they use a lot of ancient human civilisations as templates, and I love ancient history, I study it in my spare time."
By now she was looking a little defensive, " So why didn't you read it off the net?" She rolled her eyes and sighed, "Because it costs money each time you log on and as I already said, they only show them for so long, What's all this about anyway, it's not like I was doing anything illegal, if you weren't allowed to copy off the net you wouldn't be able to, especially with my computer." She paused for a moment, "Who did you say you were?" The man looked a little cagey, "That's not important right now what is." Jess interrupted, sounding defensive and suspicious. "But it is important to me, and what is also important is how you know I downloaded that site, and why you care, after all it's only a fan club, it's not like it's governmental or anything like that." The men looked at each other, and the woman began to feel nervous, she was alone in her house with two men who didn't look altogether savoury, and she had locked her dogs outside when she had welcomed them into her home, she always did this as the 'puppies' tended to make most people nervous, which was what they were supposed to do, and in retrospect it probably wasn't the brightest move to lock them out.
"How we know what you downloaded isn't important either, the point is we know you did it and we want to know why." The man sounded very official and almost intimidating, "Well, I've already told you why. Now I think it's time you left, before I have to call the police and get you removed from my house." She had been slowly moving towards the door while she was speaking and when she got close enough she pushed the handle down fast and shoved the door open letting the three jet black German Shepherd's walk in through the door and nonchalantly sit at their mistress's feet.
As the door had opened the men had moved back out of view of anyone standing there but moved out again as they realised it was only the dogs. "The police can't remove us from any house, they have no jurisdiction over us." She looked at them with total scorn and said, "Oh, you're trying to tell me that American officials can enter my house without a warrant and the police can't stop them? And it's somehow become legal to hack into other peoples computers?" The man looked almost smug, "The NID can do what it has too to get results ma'am." The woman smiled at her small triumph and the agent realised what he had done. "NID? You're a long way from home gentlemen, and I would love to know why you care who downloads off of a TV show web site."
The woman stood looking at them for a moment while they tried to look as if they hadn't just made fools of themselves, then she raised her eyebrows and started to laugh. "Are you seriously trying to tell me that there is something too this 'plausible', or is it 'culpable deniability'? No way, you are having me on, where are the cameras hidden? You do realise I came this close to setting the dogs on you?" She held her fingers up and they were not held far apart, the men looked at each other and weren't quite sure what she was talking about. "What cameras?" "O.k. you had me going for a while and it was very funny, who sent you? Was it one of my brothers?"
"Ma'am I have no idea what you are talking about, we are here to establish why you copied this web site, I believe we have our answer, we want to take a look at the rest of your computer memory while we are here." The man was still totally serious and she realised that it wasn't a joke. "This isn't a joke is it?" "No ma'am it is not, and we would appreciate your cooperation." Jess was stunned at the mans audacity, "Oh, you would? Well now you know what it's like to be disappointed, I will only ask you once more to leave, then the dogs will ask you. Good day and goodbye."
She waved her hand towards the front door through which they had entered and waited for them to leave, when they just stood there she shook her head and quietly said, "Escort them out Girls." As she spoke the three dogs all stood up in unison and started to walk towards the men, they stood there watching until the dogs started growling quietly but menacingly and staring right at them. "If they bite us we'll have them put down." The talkative one said with all the bravado he could muster in the face of three angry dogs. "No you wont, they are completely under my control and you are on my property until you reach the main road, I bought the house years ago, the police are aware of the dogs capabilities and limitations and so am I, I trained them, along with the police dogs around here, you really should do your homework before entering someone's home, if you had you might have known that I am very security conscious and have twenty four hour surveillance on my house, so I have tapes of every move you have made since you got here, I also know the police around here very well, working with them and all,"
Jess owned and trained several dogs and horses, as well as training the local police animals. "So unless you have a warrant and an official English escort don't come back." She was watching the men's faces through out her speech and noticed the looks toward the video cabinet when she mentioned the tapes, "And before you start thinking about it, don't bother breaking in, this place is more secure than Fort Nox and the cameras are patched straight in to the police station anyway. Goodbye." And she stood watching as the dogs slowly walked towards the men until they were out of the door then came rushing back to her for the praise they knew they would get, and they did, she knelt on the floor and romped around with them for a while before getting up and ringing her boss at the police station.
PART -2
"So what do you make of it Sir?" she asked when she had explained the whole incident to the local Captain, "I really don't know Jess. I can't believe the NID would be so stupid as to try anything like that, but then again they are American." She laughed, "Come on, you know as well as I do that all Americans are not stupid and obnoxious, they just do a damn good impression of it. Anyway, I thought I'd let you know, just in case they try anything with someone else, some of the older ladies around here don't have the same help as I've got." The Captain didn't have to ask what she meant, "Yes, how are the Girls lately? We haven't seen them for a while." Jess sighed quietly, "I know, I decided to give them some down time, all the work was starting to get them down, me too to be honest, all the boring stuff and no fun, the schools have all closed for the summer and the fairs don't want dogs now, they want the ponies which is fine for business but not for the Girls." The Captain commiserated but also knew how much she made from her 'ponies' "Well, we can only do our best honey, why don't you take the Girls on holiday and leave the staff to worry about the business, that's what you pay them for." She smiled at his concern. "I know, and I think I might, it would be nice for once to get out without a care in the world." They both laughed at that and after their goodbyes she hung up.
Before long she had picked it back up and dialled the local travel agent and asked for something in America, hearing the men's accents had made her think of that country, when she was asked where in America she wanted to go she asked where they suggested, "Well, we have a special offer on Texas at the moment but you wouldn't like the heat." The travel agent was her childhood neighbour and they knew each other well, "We've also got some place called 'Colorado Springs', apparently they're having a 'dog and pony' show there next week, if I book you in now you can still get the early booking reduction, it's a great deal, you get your return flight, room, board and show fees all in one, and it's fully catered, you can't ask for much better than that now can you?" Jess agreed and booked the holiday straight away, "Who shall I say you're bringing for the show then?" Was the final question, "Well, obviously the Girls will come for the dogs but what are the qualifiers for the ponies?" Her friend was more than happy to talk about it for hours but she knew her boss wouldn't be happy so she got straight down to business, "Well, they have horse and pony categories, the ponies are mostly show work and the horses are cross country and hunting mainly, with a dressage at the end, but I don't think they care a lot about it or they wouldn't put it at the end, would they?" Jess agreed with her and said, "Right, enter the Girls in the dog show and I'll take Ra and Osiris for the horses and Hapi and Khonsu for the ponies." Her friend couldn't believe this was supposed to be a holiday.
"And you call this a holiday?" Jess laughed, "Well, I'll take Jane and Jules with me, they can bring the ponies home when we're done and I'll give Ra and Osiris a good break. Oh, make sure you get me lodgings for at least a month ok? And don't forget to warn them I will not accept cheap fodder for the horses, the last place I went to was terrible." It wasn't long before the holiday was booked and Jess got down to the business of organising it, she had to get cover staff for Jane and Jules, and get someone to look after her house, even though that was the easy part, and it wasn't long before everything was organised and two days later Jess arrived in Colorado Springs for her first American show.
Cheyenne Mountain.
"So why exactly is this woman supposed to be a threat?" Colonel Jack O'Neill was six foot three of well toned muscle, he had broad shoulders tapering down to a slim waist, he had neatly trimmed silver grey hair and deep chocolate brown eyes, he was looking at a picture of Jessica Moon and talking to the General sat at the head of the conference table who replied, "The NID decided that she could be a threat, so they sent a couple of goons over to England to find out what she knew, they completely botched the interview, they failed to realise that she is a police dog and horse trainer, she also has her own business called 'Black Moon Rising' she has her own show dogs who are, apparently, the best in the area, and one of the top five groups in the country, she breeds her own dogs and horses, and apparently she has a liking for ancient history, especially Egypt, so the NID dropped the ball and she had their pictures put up all around her area, luckily they thought they were con men, at least the police did, we didn't think much of it until she turned up in Colorado Springs for the 'Dog and Pony' show, of course it could be a coincidence, but as we know there are precious few coincidences that aren't organised by someone."
General Hammond, a bald, stocky man, about 5'8", who looked like your favourite granddad, looked around the rest of the table, sat next to Jack was Major Samantha Carter, she was about 5' 9" with short, wavy, blond hair and bright, blue eyes, opposite her was Teal'c, at least 6'3", heavily muscled, bald, and black with broad shoulders, a narrow waist and deep brown eyes, Teal'c is a Jaffa worrier, a race used by the Goa'uld as soldiers, who have little choice but to obey them as they are dependent on an infant Goa'uld, or Primta, in place of their immune system, and have been under the false belief that the Goa'uld, a snake like parasite, that needs to be in a human host to survive, are Gods, most Goa'uld are capable of doing anything to gain a bit more power, and have a group called the 'System Lords', who are the most powerful, but many thousands of years earlier, some Goa'uld had broken from the main group and decided to be peaceful and co-exist with their host, instead of completely dominating them and trying to take over the universe in any evil way they could and called them selves the Tok-ra, the last man sat next to Teal'c was Jonas Quinn, he is about 5'8" with black hair and brown eyes, he had been the ethical supervisor of the facility that Daniel Jackson, the previous member of the team had saved and, not having been there for long, he was still rather hesitant about voicing his opinions to General Hammond and the rest of the group.
They were SG1, the 'flagship' of the Stargate Command, and unlike the show that Jess enjoyed, they really did travel through wormholes to other planets, the show 'Wormhole X-tream' had basically been set up in case anyone ever leaked knowledge of the Stargate to the public, as a way for the authorities to say 'This person must be mistaking fiction with reality, they're talking about this show.' It was a great cop-out, but it was also basically the truth. The General continued, "As I said it could just be a massive coincidence, but I don't trust coincidences, they are all too often manufactured, so we are going to follow up on this ourselves, I have persuaded the President that we should handle this our selves, and he said he will keep the NID officially out of the investigation, but we all know the NID." Jack raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes, "Don't we wish we didn't?" General Hammond looked at him and ignored the comment, as usual, "I estimate we have about two days before the NID are storming in with accusations of incompetence and anything else they can think of at the time, so I want this wrapped up as soon as possible people, get out there and find out if this woman really does know anything about the Stargate, or in the much more likely event that she knows nothing, prove it."
PART - 3
Jess was trying to get her animals properly registered before the competitions started when Jack first spotted her, and it wasn't hard to over hear her conversation, she was obviously loosing her temper with the staff and was not shy about letting them know just how unhappy she was with their level of competence, they had completely messed up her application. "How many times do I have to repeat myself? The dogs are black German Shepherds, they are all bitches, they are entered for all of the competitions and their names are Isis, Sekhmet and Hathor, the horses are Ra and Osiris, they are also black, the ponies are Hapi and Khonsu, and they are also black, you may have noticed a recurring theme, they are all black, this is why the team name is 'Black Moon Rising'. My name is Jessica Moon, is there anything you are still unsure of?" Jack heard the sarcasm dripping off her voice and couldn't help but grin, even though the assistant wasn't so impressed, "I'm sorry but could you spell the names for me please?" "For crying out loud, is the entire country this culturally uneducated?" Before the assistant could answer Jack stepped in, "No, were not, Ra is R, A, you really can't go wrong," he was speaking directly to the assistant and anyone who knew him might have been shocked to see him so knowledgeable and helpful at the same time, "Osiris is O, S, I, R, I, S, Thoth is T, H, O, T, H, another easy one, Chons is not so easy, it's C, H, O, N, S, " Jack waited for the assistant to right down all of the names he had given her and glanced at Jess before continuing, "Isis is I, S, I, S, Maat is M, A, A, T, and Hathor is H, A, T, H, O, R, is that all of them?" He looked over at the stunned, and for the first time in her life, speechless, Jess who could do nothing but nod. "Right, you really don't want to judge a country by one woman who couldn't care less about Egyptian mythology, I don't suppose half of you Brits would even know they were names let alone how to spell them, and even less know who the names belong to, it's the same in most countries, people don't care about history, they only want to know about the present, they just don't realise that they are both as important. " Jack turned from her and started to walk away, and Jess finally got her voice back, "Excuse me Sir," He paused and looked over his shoulder slightly, not even bothering to give her his full attention as he was half looking at a tall black man who was walking straight towards him. "Who are you and how come you know so much about the Egyptians?" Jack's smile was small and very nostalgic, "I'm Jack O'Neill, and a friend of mine was an archaeologist, we kind of work with it a lot."
By then Teal'c had reached them and nodded to Jack. Jess offered her hand to Jack and said, "I'm Jess Moon, and I'm not normally as short tempered as that, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, I have some more ponies at home and one of them has started to go through a very early labour, I'm just upset that I'm not there, sorry." Jack looked at her and grinned, "Don't apologise to me, you bit her head off not mine." Jess smiled and couldn't believe she had ever thought this man looked old, as soon as he had grinned he looked about thirty, but older or not he was still well worth the looking, he was over six foot tall, his hair was silver grey and he had all the right curves in the right places, and man, what an ass, it was quite possibly the finest in creation, when you added that to the deep almost husky voice and obvious brain it had her surreptitiously searching his left hand for any rings and wishing he would take off his sunglasses so she could see if his eyes were up to the standards the rest of him set, she was so caught-up in fact, that when his companion spoke she almost jumped out of her skin in shock. "O'Neill, the first dog trials will not begin for another hour, maybe we should eat?" Jack looked at Teal'c and said, "Yeah, not a bad idea Murray, where are the others?"
Jess looked from one to the other of them and wondered how she could get his attention again, before Teal'c could answer she jumped in, "If you're interested in the dog show I've got three entrants, you could find your friends and come and see them if you wanted, you could even sit right up at the front with me to watch the trials." As Jack and Teal'c looked at her in surprise Jess thought she might have been a little over-eager, and tried to cover a little. "It's the least I can do after you sorted out the entrance problems for me, consider it an apology for the insults." Jack looked at Teal'c and Jess thought they were trying to decide whether to agree or not, little did she know that she was walking right into their plans, she had just saved them the hassle of trying to reintroducing themselves latter. "Well," Jack hesitated very convincingly, "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I know Sam would love to meet the dogs up close." By now Jack was grinning again and Jess thought she was in with a chance, not knowing that her day was about to be completely ruined. "Right," Jess said smiling, "Shall we go and find your friends?"
Teal'c looked at Jack who grinned and raised his eyebrows mischievously, "Yes I think we shall. In fact, I can see Sam right now." Jess looked around the crowd wondering which of the men was the mysterious 'Sam', and when Jack raised his hand in a wave she soon found out, only it wasn't a man, it was a pretty, bright woman who was almost as tall as Jess, and her smile was way to familiar and welcoming for Jess's liking, apparently she wasn't in with a chance after all. Sam, with another man trying to keep up behind her, came straight over to them and possible rivalry or not, it wasn't long before Jess knew she would like this woman. Sam had bright blue eyes which shone with a bubbly personality and she was obviously confident in herself, she walked towards them like she knew exactly where she was going and how to get there, which was a rare thing in Jess's experience, most people looked lost or confounded at life in general let alone at these big dog shows, there were so many people and animals that you could be easily overwhelmed and lost in the mle, which looked like a very great possibility for the poor man following her, he seemed a very curious companion for the three self-confident people he was with, he was noticeably shorter than the other men, about the same height as Sam, and looked as if he was about to go and hide in a corner, he was so far from them in personality that it was almost like the big kids forced to take the whining baby brother with them to the park, Jess almost laughed, but when they finally joined up it didn't take long for her to realise that this man, Jonas, was far from a whining brat, he was in fact a highly intelligent person and quite cute too, he was just a little nervous in such a large crowd.
Once the introductions had been made Jess again invited them back to her truck to see the animals and by the time they got there she had already described all seven of them down to their slightest preferences, it was obvious to all that she was totally wrapped up in her animals, but then, it was obvious that Teal'c was a normal human being too, and that was far from the truth. When Jess opened the trucks living compartment door they were all surprised at just how big it was, there was enough room for all five of them to sit and fuss the dogs who had gone nuts the moment their mistress entered the room, but for some reason that Jess couldn't understand they didn't seem to like 'Murray' or Jonas, not that they were aggressive but they did avoid them, it was almost as if they didn't know what to make of them. They all sat and looked around while Jess put the kettle on, then came in and seeing Jack trying to fuss all three dogs at once she said, "Here, let me introduce you, Girls, this is Jack, Jack this is Isis, Hathor and Chons." One at a time, as Jess said their names, the dogs raised their right paws and offered them to Jack who solemnly shook them while trying not to laugh at the perfect picture they must make, the second in command of the most secret base in America being introduced and shaking paws with three dogs, it was not something he wanted spread around the base. When they had finished they turned to Sam and introduced themselves to her but again surprised Jess by not going to either 'Murray' or Jonas. While they were drinking their coffee they talked about the dog's names, "So, why did you choose the names?" Sam asked, genuinely curious as well as trying to figure out the woman, "Well, I started studying ancient history years ago in my spare time, I realised I really liked the Egyptians, the myths surrounding their Gods really intrigued me, then I started training the local police dogs for extra cash, their trainer was bitten and put in hospital by one of the bitches, he got really nasty and wanted her put down, but I came in and rescued her." Jess was grinning like a schoolgirl at the memory, "It turned out she was pregnant, he had messed up and left her in the communal run while she was in season, and they wondered why there was so much fighting that week, anyway, when they realised what had happened they sacked him and kept me on full time, a few years later I bought Ra, my first horse, and it just escalated from there." She looked around at her guests with a grin, "Now I have twenty of my own horses, and a dozen ponies, I have fifteen breeding bitches and three dogs, not including the Girls of course, they are my show dogs, my pets." Jack looked at her indulgent smile as one of the dogs licked her hand and thought of their first meeting, "You said something about 'Black Moon Rising' when you were trying to register them, what was that?" Jess smiled at him again and said, "That's my showing name, I breed and sell horses and dogs, under the name of 'Moon Rising', but some of the best I keep to show and teach others, and they are all black, hence the 'Black Moon Rising', my animals are in quite high demand actually." The pride in Jess's voice was unmistakable, and none of SG1 could imagine this woman knowing anything about their work what so ever, but they still had to prove it.
By the time they had talked about the horses and ponies it was almost time for the show to begin and they all walked the dogs down to the arena, surprisingly Jess didn't even pick up a lead let alone put one on any of the dogs and when Sam asked her about it she said, "If I couldn't trust them to walk to the arena what would be the point in entering them? And I certainly wouldn't risk taking them into a school full of children would I?" Sam thought about this for a moment and decided that Jess really did have a point. They had just reached the arena when the announcer called the first dog and they watched in fascination as a handler shouted and a beautiful Border collie jumped over the first hurdle, the handler shouted "Tunnel, tunnel, tunnel." And the dog ran through the rigid tunnel and came flying out of the other end, then he ran with his handler to a set of weaving poles and went back and forth so fast that Jack could hardly follow his movements, his handler clapping his hands shouting, "Weave, weave, weave." When he had finished the poles he followed his handler up to a table where the handler shouted at him, "Up, lay down." The dog jumped up onto the table and immediately put his paws up on his handler's shoulders, the handler shouted, "Lay down." At him and he finally went down. The announcer counted out thirty seconds and the handler called his dog off the table and over to the blue and red see-saw, after the dog leapt on half way up and then off the see-saw he ran straight to the big red hoop suspended in a large frame about four foot above the ground, after more shouting the dog went through the hoop and into a soft tunnel which the dog had to push open as it went through, when he came out the other end he looked around for his owner who sent him over the final five foot hurdle towards a red square of carpet, when the dog lay down on the carpet the announcer called the time and fault points, giving him a finishing time of 3mins and 45seconds. Jack looked at Jess and thought she looked worried, "What's up, don't think you can beat the collie?" Jess had just started to take a drink from her bottle of water and Jack wished he had let her swallow it before he spoke, because he got a face full of water as Jess spat it out in the beginning of her hysterics, she was literally holding her sides laughing while Jack tried to dry his face off and the others looked round to see what the fuss was about, "Not quite." Jess said when she had finally stopped laughing, "I was just thinking how embarrassing it's going to be to beat these people if I don't get a t least some decent competition, I was told this was a professional meet, not amateur, it's not fair to mix the two."
As it turned out there was some decent competition, the last two to go in before Jess's dogs were very good and held scores of 1min 40seconds and 1min 42seconds. The announcer called Jess up with Isis and she ran a faultless round in 1min 45seconds, when she had finished Jess went straight to the announcer and pulled Hathor out of the competition, Jack thought she was nuts, but she obviously had faith in her dog, and it wasn't misplaced, the announcer called Maat and people began muttering to each other, the same person running two dogs one right after the other was un heard of, but Jess was stood as fresh as when she ran Isis, and would have done the same with Hathor if she hadn't thought it might be embarrassing for the locals.
Jess looked down at Maat who was looking right back, she smiled at her and told her just how good she was for being so patient, then the starter gun went off and she nodded to her, they ran straight to the first hurdle and Jess said, "Over." Maat flew over it like it wasn't even there, Jess waved a hand towards the tunnel and Maat went straight through coming out the other end and heading to the poles without missing a step, Jess said, "Weave." And Matt went through the bars like it was the most natural thing in the world, when she had finished she looked at Jess who smiled and said, "Table." In the same quiet, unhurried voice she always used, Maat went straight up on the table and laid down immediately, when the announcer reached thirty Matt was straight off the table and up and over the see-saw as soon as Jess pointed to it, Jess said, "Hoop, tunnel." And Maat went through the hoop and was half way through the tunnel before Jess had even reached the beginning of it, when Maat emerged from the other end Jess said, "Over." And she flew over the higher hurdle as easily as the first; as soon as her paws hit the floor Jess said, "End." And Matt was on the red carpet and the clock was stopped before Jess had even run past the final hurdle. Jack looked at Sam with his eyebrows raised and asked, "Think you could do that?" Sam smiled at him sweetly and said, "With that dog, sure, right after you." Jack realised that the announcer was conspicuous in his absence, and wondered why. They soon found out. "Ladies and Gentlemen, with an unbelievable time of 1min and 20seconds we have a winner! Jess Moon and Maat." Jack looked over to see Jess busy congratulating Maat on an excellent run and he just couldn't for the life of him picture this woman as a spy. "Carter, we're out of here, she doesn't know a thing, we go as soon as she gets back." Sam looked over at Jack and grinned, she hadn't thought it would be long before he scrubbed the mission, and as Jess walked back over to them she said, "Best tell her we're going Sir." Jack glared at her mockingly, "No kidding."
Jess came back over smiling until she saw the looks on everyone's faces and knew something was wrong. "What's up?" She asked Jack, "Nothing, congratulations on the win, you did real good." Jess looked from him to the others and said, "But?" Jack smiled at her, "But we have to go, I just got a call from my boss, I'm needed." Jess's face fell, "Oh, right, well I'll hope to see you again then, I'll bee here all month if you want to come and say hi, I'm staying at a little place up the road called 'The Hideaway' and I'll be at the show all week." Jack smiled at her and said, "Right, we'll try to get back." When everyone had said farewell they left and went back to the Mountain to report to General Hammond.
PART - 4
"Well the NID completely screwed up, again." Jack told General Hammond with little but contempt in his voice, "She is a dog and horse handler and breeder, she came here for the show because she wanted a rest and thought it would be fun when her travel agent mentioned it." General Hammond looked at him, "Are you sure?" Jack almost laughed, "I have never been this sure about anything Sir, if she has a covert bone in her body, I'm the Dalai Lama." General Hammond smiled at that and knew that Jack really was sure of this and he had learnt to trust Jack's instincts a long time ago so he was ready to close the case and forget it ever happened, as they were discussing the next mission for SG1 the alarms started going off and they both ran straight to the command center. "What's going on?" General Hammond asked as soon as they were in the room and Sergeant Siler turned to him and said, "SG7 just came back on schedule but as soon as the doors were open Lieutenant Kew threw his weapon down and changed, then he ran out of the door before anyone could stop him." Jack looked at him and frowned, "What do you mean 'changed'?" Siler looked at him and shock his head, "I can't explain it Sir, he just changed, it wasn't Kew any more, it was some kind of alien." General Hammond's mouth fell open, "You mean we have an alien loose on the base and it could look like anyone?" Jack could see the penny drop on Siler's face as he turned to the General and said, "Oh God, yes I do, we've got a shape shifter." Jack turned to the General and said, "We should stop the alert Sir." General Hammond looked at him like he was mad, "Why?" "If it's scared it'll be harder to find, if we let it calm down it might come to us, and if it doesn't it'll be easier to do a search if our people are calm, if everyone is running around in a mess we've got no chance of catching this thing." General Hammond was again thankful that Jack was on his side, he would have used the same strategy after thinking about it but Jack was always that little bit faster off the ball, the worse the situation the clearer Jack thought, it made him the perfect strategist and soldier, then Jack made General Hammond reconsider his silent praise, reminding him that he also came up with some of the most unbelievable ideas, which strangely enough nearly always seamed to work out. "You know, a search would go a lot quicker with three well trained dogs doing the leg work for us." "What do you mean?" "Well, Jess's dogs knew Teal'c and Jonas weren't human, but they were told they were friends, I'll bet they could cover the base in a couple of hours and find the Shifter for us, we just have to get Jess on the base without her flipping out." Jack knew this was going to take some persuading or fast manoeuvring, and he didn't have time for persuasion. "Her dogs can come in and cover the base in quarter the time it would take us, and they can smell the intruder, she can be kept away from level twenty eight, and never know what's there, we can clear this entire level of all personnel right now, seal the place down and you and Siler can go through it with a fine tooth comb while I go and get Jess and her dogs to search the rest of the complex, everyone can still go home for super. We know everyone in this room is safe so everyone stays in groups of three or four, confine everyone else to a room and we can check them as we go, if you seal the Mountain down as soon as I'm out you'll know nobody else can get out, I can come back in under an hour, less if I can take a chopper." General Hammond was impressed by Jacks plan, even though he knew he was being manoeuvred, and immediately called the surface to get a chopper ready.
When Jess heard the chopper outside she decided to take a look, after all, you didn't see them every day, but this one was more of a shock than any other had ever been, Jack was climbing out of it, and he was in a uniform. She raced out of the house and ran over the lawn to the fence between her and the field he had landed in with the dogs on her heals as always. When Jack saw her running towards him he was glad she was in, the last thing he needed was an Arial search of the shopping areas for one woman and her dogs, "Jess, we need your help, can you come with me now?" Jess looked at him and wondered if he was joking, then she looked at the uniform and realised he was military. "You're in the Army." Jack grinned and said, "No, I'm in the Air Force, Colonel Jack O'Neill, we need you and the dogs, I work on a big base and we need to find someone quickly." Jess was so shocked that she agreed immediately and they ran with the dogs back to the chopper and were at Cheyenne Mountain before she knew what was going on. When they landed and went into the base Jess realised that she didn't know who she was looking for or how the dogs were supposed to find them. "Who are you looking for? And why do you think the girls can find them?" Jack thought for a moment before he replied, "Earlier they all realised that there was something different about Teal'c and Jonas, that's how they're gona find this person, we don't know who it is but the dogs will know that it's different." Jess thought for a moment and realised what Jack had said, "Who is Teal?" Jack stopped dead as he realised what he had done, "Uh, Murray." Jess looked at him, starting to get really suspicious, "You said Teal." Jack looked at her and said, "No I didn't, I said Teal'c, that's apostrophe 'c'." "Ok, who is Teal'c with a 'c'." Jack grinned at her attitude and would have really appreciated it if the situation hadn't been so dyer. "Teal'c is Murray, people ask less questions about 'Murray' than they do about 'Teal'c', now can we get the dogs looking through some of these rooms?" Jess looked at him and was about to speak when they came to an elevator and Jack swiped it with his access card, letting them in and pressing the very last button, Jess realised it said 'sub-level 11'. "We're going down eleven levels? How big is this place?" Jack's grin started to come back as he told her, "A lot bigger than you might think." And as the elevator doors opened they stepped out and Jack got her to sign a big book saying, "This means you cant tell anyone anything about what you see from here on in, this is a top secret base and signing that gives the SGC the right to your silence, understood?" Jess only nodded as she signed then she noticed another elevator door and wondered if they were going back up, Jack swiped the second elevator door and stepped in, she followed and was glad that the Girls were so well trained, they all walked straight to the back of the space and sat down as out of the way as they could, then Jack pointed to the control panel and said were going down to twenty two." The controls went right down to 'sub-level 23' and Jess couldn't believe her eyes.
When they stepped out of the elevator Jack pulled a radio out of its pocket and called General Hammond, "I have the dogs Sir, do we know were Teal'c and Jonas are?" General Hammond sounded very strained as he answered, "They are both in the conference room with me, if you would like to join us." Jack looked at Jess and tried to smile, "This way and we can start the dogs working." But he didn't realise how quickly. When they walked into the conference room Jack realised immediately why General Hammond sounded strained, there were armed guards all over the room pointing guns at two Jonas Quinn's. "Oh crap." General Hammond looked around at Jack and knew exactly what he meant, the idea of the dogs was to identify an alien, but they were both aliens, how could they tell the difference now? It wasn't even as if they knew Jonas that well that they could trick the impostor with facts, and of course it also meant that Jess now knew there was something really weird going on, what with the twins standing there. Jack looked at General Hammond and tried to joke saying, "At least we know it's one of them, everyone else is cleared now, we can get Carter to find some way of sorting them out, or maybe Doc Fraiser can tell them apart." As he was talking General Hammond shook his head and saw Sam coming into the room, she was also in uniform again and Jess looked at her in surprise, "You too?" Sam smiled at her as she spoke to Jack, "Sir, I don't know how we can tell the two of them apart, they look and sound alike and all the tests we have run have come back identical." Jack looked at her in surprise, "You've had time to run tests?"
Sam looked at General Hammond then back to Jack, "Yes Sir, we found them both together just after you left, we figured the Shifter heard you talking to General Hammond and went to find either Teal'c or Jonas, it managed to find Jonas first." Jess had been looking from one to the other of them and finally butted in, "Excuse me, isn't that why I'm here?" Jack looked at her, "But neither of them is human, there's no difference for them to tell any more." Jess was not impressed, "Well, I can see none of you has ever worked with sniffer dogs, the Girls have already met Jonas, of course they can tell which he is." At this both Jonas Quinn's started looking uncomfortable, the real one had already decided he was not a dog lover and the fake thought he might get caught. Jess looked down at the dogs and said, "Hathor, find Jonas." Hathor walked straight over to the man on the left and sat at his heal, waiting to be recalled and the Shifter swung around and tried to run for the door, "Stop him." Jess said to the dogs and all three changed so fast it was unbelievable, the silent, peaceful dogs were no more, in their place were three snarling, snapping creatures all moving like quick silver to surround the Shifter. The Shifter was petrified and stood immobile begging them to keep the animals away from him. Jess looked at Jack and smiled saying, "Guard him Girls." The three dogs sat at the Shifters feet and stared at him, and though it was obviously unnecessary Sam went round his back and cuffed him.
Jess and the Girls accompanied the 'guest' to the holding cells where he was incarcerated while waiting for a very long questioning session, Jonas decided that he really did like dogs after all, and spent most of the afternoon being licked and pawed for more attention. General Hammond looked at Jess and said, Miss Moon, I would like to thank you and invite you to join our de-briefing, in the conference room in ten minutes Colonel." He finished to Jack. Jess looked up at Jack and said, "Wow, a Colonel huh?" Jack laughed, "It's not that great, believe me." Jess looked at him and he could see the thoughts running round in her mind, "So, why were you at a dog show this morning Colonel?" Jack looked at her and replied. "I like dogs." Jess looked at him and he knew she wasn't going to let him get away with it, "Your story is so touching Colonel, but it sounds just like a lie." Jack just looked at her and grinned, then he turned back towards the conference room and said, "We don't want to be late for that de-briefing, Miss Moon, you can believe that." Jess knew she would get nothing more from him right now, so she followed him back for a de-briefing.
PART - 5
When they were all seated around the table with the three dogs around Jess's chair General Hammond started the de-briefing by turning to Jess. "Miss Moon, as I'm sure you have realised by now this is a top secret base and everything you have seen since you signed the discloser forms is to be treated as such." Jess looked a little overwhelmed, "Yeah, I got that." General Hammond looked very serious as he continued, "You also realise that if you were to tell others of what you had seen it would be official denied and the repercussions would be very serious." Jess looked at him for a while hoping he didn't mean what she thought he meant, but from the look on his face he did, "Yeah, like 'men in black', people disappearing kind of serious." General Hammond nodded and then smiled at her for the first time, "Now that that's over with I assume you have figured out that Teal'c and Jonas Quinn are not your average citizens?" Jess looked shocked that he would even ask, "Oh yeah, I got that one." As she glanced at the two men she saw Jack and Sam smiling at her answer and wondered what it was that they actually did to make them so blas about the possibility of non-human life, then she remembered her own encounter with the 'men in black'. "Hey, your with those guys who came round my house." Jack looked straight at her and snapped, "No we are not." Jess wondered why he was so adamant, and soon found out when General Hammond answered, "That was the NID Miss Moon, they are nothing to do with us." "They're a pain in the ass." Stated Jack vehemently, he obviously didn't care to hide his feelings. Jess looked around the table again, "So who are you?" Jack looked at her and said, "Were Air Force, this is the SGC." Jess gave him a look that had 'Duh!' written all over it, "No kidding, what does SGC mean?" General Hammond was shocked to think that here was a civilian, with no military background, unlike the NID he had done his homework, and she was as full of herself as Jack was. "The SGC means us." Jack said, Jess was about to query it further but realised it would get her nowhere, she sighed and looked over at Teal'c, "So, what's your deal?" Teal'c raised an eyebrow and looked slightly perplexed, "I have no deal." Jess grinned at that and said, "Oh, that proves you have deal, you have no idea what I'm talking about do you?" Teal'c looked at Jack who said, "She wants to know where you're from." Teal'c nodded and looking back to Jess said, "I am from Chulak." Jess frowned in concentration as she thought, "I thought I was pretty good at Geography but I've never heard of a place called Chulak." Teal'c looked a little worried, or as much as he ever did, "You need not question your geographic skills, Chulak is not on your world." Jack looked at Teal'c as he spoke and cringed while General Hammond stared in shock, Teal'c had just as good as told her he was an alien. Jess looked at Teal'c and slowly nodded her head, "Uh, huh. 'Not on your world.' Now there's a statement to get your imagination working over-time, could it possibly mean that you were born on another world?" Jack started speaking, "Teal'c, why don't we step outside?" But being a very polite man he answered Jess's question first, "Indeed I was." Jess smiled and looked from Jack, who had his head buried in his hands, to General Hammond, who was still stunned at how easily Teal'c was telling her everything, to Sam and Jonas who were almost as shocked as General Hammond, then she started laughing. "That's why they were so worried about the web site, the whole show is a bad spin on this base, the whole ludicrous concept of travelling through a wormhole to alien cultures was taken from this command." Jess was laughing and shaking her head through out and barely got her words out, "You actually do this and you let them do that hammy, totally unbelievable rip-off?" She looked around the table to the non-smiling group, "Where is your pride? You could at least have got them to do it with a budget instead of an allowance, the only decent part, other than the story, is the ship they had in the third episode, and that was probably borrowed from Star Trek." Jack finally lifted his head as Jess's laughter died down to a chuckle, "The show wasn't actually our idea, it was a leak, we tried to keep it as low key as possible. If the show was too good the NID would spend all their time chasing people like you." Jack paused as he thought of this, "General, you might want to think about that, it could keep them off our backs?" General Hammond looked at Jack and he was not amused.
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