Egrotatio Ch. 9-11
Egrotatio Ch. 9-11
by Ginalynn71
Summary: A weapon affects a member of SG1 with serious consequences.
Category: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Season: any Season
Pairing: Daniel/Janet, Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: adult themes, language
Author's Notes: These are the last three chapters of this story. Please R&R.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 01/24/06
Chapter 9
The next morning Sam woke up on the floor next to her front door. She remembered that she had cried herself to sleep there. Her body was aching from the hardness of the floor./Crap, I have to remember not to sleep there again/ Getting up, she went to the kitchen to make coffee. Her phone rang, and she jumped at the sound. /Oh no. Please, don't be the SGC/
"Hello?" Sam spoke into the phone. "Oh, hi Evelyn...thanks for calling back...no, I'm just...actually I'm having a very hard time with something and I was wondering if we could get together and talk?" Sam paused for a moment before pouring her coffee. "In an hour? Uh, yeah. See you then."
Sam hung up the phone and quickly finished her coffee. She showered at a record pace and dressed. She grabbed her keys and headed towards the psychiatrist's office.
Arriving a few minutes later, she was grateful she wasn't pulled over. Exiting her car and entering the building, she recalled the last time she was here. Daniel had left them, and she had difficulty dealing with his loss. What made it more difficult was no one really knew where he went; only that he wasn't actually dead. Sam found it hard to have closure on a situation like that. Evelyn worked for the government, and she had worked with SGC personnel before. Sam liked her, she seemed more sisterly than doctor.
A receptionist greeted Sam as she entered the office. "Hi there. You are... Major Carter, right?"
"Yes." Sam replied dryly.
"Evelyn said go right in when you got here." The receptionist pointed to the door.
"Okay, thank you." Sam gave a nod and went inside.
Evelyn was in her fifties, and was attractive. She had a demeanor that made it easy to open up to her, and that was an important characteristic considering her job.
"Hey Sam. Sit down. Tell me what's going on." Evelyn said to her.
Letting out a big sigh, Sam began as she sat down. "Someone very important to me is extremely sick. It's Colonel O'Neill, Ev. He's at the base and we've tried everything to save him. Nothing is working though. He's...he's probably going to die."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Sam. It is very draining to watch someone you care about slowly die. You actually start grieving long before the actual death. You know what's coming, so..." Evelyn spoke to Sam with compassion. Being a psychiatrist, death was something she dealt with often, especially being involved with the government.
"At first, I wanted to be with him at all times, just to make sure he knew someone was there. As time goes on, a part of me still wants to be there, and a part of me can't stand being there. When I'm not there I feel guilty, when I am there I feel helpless and it sucks to sit and watch him deteriorate." Sam was crying, and Evelyn handed her some tissues.
"What aren't you telling me about this Sam?" Evelyn asked. She could sense that there was more going on that Sam was letting on. "I know Daniel is like a brother to you, but Colonel O'Neill is your CO, right? What is so different about him? I know you are close, but what's really going on?"
Sam looked around the room. She didn't want to tell Evelyn what the real issue was. "I, uh, crap Ev."
"Sam, doctor patient privilege, remember. Unless you or your team is in jeopardy over this issue, I can't say anything." Evelyn stated as she leaned in to touch Sam's hand. "What is it?"
"I...love him. More than I ever thought I would. It's been kept quiet because of the regs, but we both have feelings for each other. Now he's dying, and we never got the chance to say it or do anything about it." Sam said.
"So you think by torturing yourself and sitting by his side as much as possible, that this incredible moment will happen between you two that will make everything okay?" The doctor looked at Sam, and waited for a response.
"I don't know. Maybe I hoped it would." Sam said softly.
"So you're going to keep beating your head against a wall for what could have been? On top of this grief? Sam, I hate to say this, but most people die the way they live. What he couldn't give you in life, he probably can't give you in death, either." Evelyn told Sam. "Have you said good-bye?"
"What? He's not dead yet!" Sam said loudly.
"If you can say it before he dies, at least you'd be able to deal with it after. Most people say it too late. Closure needs to happen before, not after someone dies." The doctor spoke to her with calmness, and she hoped Sam understood. /You had better do this soon, Sam. You'll never get over it if you don't/
A cell phone rang and both ladies checked their phones. "It's mine." Sam looked at the number and swore. "Shit. Hello? Okay, be right there."
Evelyn got up and walked to Sam. "What is it?"
"It's Jack...uh, the Colonel. I have to go. Thank you, Ev. You have helped me, I do appreciate it." Sam hugged her and ran out of the office.
Chapter 10
Teal'c was sitting in the infirmary with Jack the next morning. He was usually a calm, quiet man, but recent events had caused even him great distress. He spoke to Jack quietly, his voice heavy with emotion. "ColonelO'Neill, I am at a loss as to what to do to assist anyone in this matter. I cannot even know how accept this situation myself. You befriended me when I had nowhere to go. You placed your trust in me, when many would not. You have the gained the ability to look beyond what is on the surface, and see the depth of a soul. I cannot tell you how much I value your friendship, and to lose you would leave me with a great emptiness in my heart. Please fight, O'Neill."
Janet came over to the bedside and put her hand on Teal'c's shoulder, offering comfort. "Hi Teal'c."
"DoctorFraiser. I have seen no change in him, is he losing his fight against this disease?" Teal'c asked.
"I am afraid he is. All we can do now is keep him comfortable." She replied, checking his vital signs. "Have you seen Sam or Daniel?"
"MajorCarter went home last evening. DanielJackson is in his office working." He responded.
"Okay, thank you." Janet left the area.
Teal'c decided to go to the commissary to eat. On the way, he stopped and entered Daniel's office to invite him along. "Would you care to join me for a meal?" he asked Daniel.
"Uh, no Teal'c, thanks for asking though." Daniel sighed and sat down on a stool by his workbench.
"DanielJackson, you are not alone in your concern for your friend. I, too, am having a difficult time with it." Teal'c tried to make Daniel more at ease.
"Yeah, we all are. It just seems so stupid. Jack's fought some terrible enemies, both mentally and physically, and came through it all. Then out of the blue he gets knocked on his ass by a virus that came from God knows where. Where's the fairness in that?" Daniel looked down at the floor.
"I do not know, DanielJackson." Teal'c said.
"What makes my life so much more important than his? Why hasn't he been given a second chance like I was? He deserves it. I know it may sound selfish, but I can't lose him, Teal'c. He's the closest friend I have, aside from you and Sam. I lose everything that I love, Teal'c. Everything that has ever mattered to me is ripped away." Daniel has tears in his eyes as he spoke to Teal'c. "A person can only take so much pain in their life before they crack. If he dies, I don't know if I'd be able to continue here."
One of the SF's came rushing in to Daniel's office. "Excuse me, Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, your presence is requested in the infirmary immediately."
"Oh no." It was all Daniel could get out before he and Teal'c ran from the office.
******************************************************************************************
A nurse stopped them outside the infirmary. "I'm sorry, you can't go in yet. Dr. Fraiser asked me keep you out here until she comes to get you."
Daniel and Teal'c waited for what seemed an eternity. Heavy footfalls came down the hall and Sam rounded the corner, out of breath.
"What happened? Is he...?" she looked at Daniel panicked.
"We don't know, we've been waiting for Janet to come out." Daniel said. He, Teal'c and Sam just looked at each other, not knowing what to say or do. "How did you know?"
"Janet called. She just said to get her as soon as possible." Sam started biting her thumb and pacing back and forth.
Just as General Hammond arrived, Janet came out to see the group. "About two hours ago I tried to take Colonel O'Neill's vital signs and we couldn't get a blood pressure. We gave him some meds and his pressure is up, but not much." Janet's eyes filled with tears. "If you want to be here and say..." No one said anything, and the quietly walked into the infirmary. They stood around thier sick friend, everyone fighting tears. A loud rapid beeping came from a monitor and Janet rushed to Jack's side.
"He's in b-fib. I need the paddles! Now!" Janet shouted orders at her staff. She worked feverishly to save the Colonel's life.
The friends stood back a few steps, and Sam started to cry out loud. "No!" She took a step back towards the man she loved. "No, you can't die, Jack." Sam didn't care anymore who watched her outburst.
"Sam, please..." Daniel tried to hold her back, but she pulled away from his arms.
"Jack," Sam was practically screaming now. "You son of a bitch...don't leave me like this! I love you, Jack! You fight, Jack! Do you hear me? You are a stubborn man, you fight, dammit!" This time both Daniel and Teal'c grabbed Sam and pulled her away from the bed.
Janet shouted an order for valium to give to Sam as she continued to work on Jack. Sam was still struggling as a nurse injected her with the medicine. In a few moments, Sam slid to the floor as Daniel held her. Daniel, Teal'c and even General Hammond were crying silent tears. Janet was even struggling to keep her composure as she worked on their friend and commanding officer. A few minutes later, the monitor slowed, and Janet addressed the group.
"I have him stablized again. I don't know how much longer he can take this. We have to make a decision regarding how much we want to keep doing for him. At this point, even if he survives, I don't think he'd be the same Colonel O'Neill." She told them.
General Hammond spoke up. "Colonel O'Neill has made his wishes clear on this issue. No extraordinary measures to save him."
They looked at the General, and they knew it was what Jack would want. They would try to keep him alive so his many friends and comrades had their chance to say good-bye. Then they would let him go so the great fighter could find his peace.
Chapter 11
Sam went to see General Hammond. She felt she owed him some kind of explanation for her behavior in the infirmary, knowing the repercussions of her outburst could cause her to lose her position at the SGC. She knocked on the General's door and waited for a response.
"Come in." Hammond replied to her knock. She stepped into his office and shut the door.
"General Hammond, sir. I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time." Nervously, she waited for the verbal backlash.
"At ease, Major. Please sit down." Hammond gestured towards a chair. "What's on your mind?"
"Sir, I...
wanted to apologize and explain my behavior in the infirmary today...It was very unprofessional of me. I understand if you..." Sam's voice shook.
"Major, what happened in the infirmary today will stay in the infirmary. I don't see how any good that would come out of this if I disciplined you or put it on your record." He said to Sam.
"Oh. Well, thank you, sir." She was surprised at his statement.
"And what I am about to say stays in this office, and is off the record. Understood?" Hammond spoke, and Sam just nodded. "Sam, I have known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper, and frankly I would have been more concerned if you didn't respond with some kind of emotion. This entire situation has taken its toll on all of us. Especially you. I may be close to retirement, but I'm not blind. What the two of you share is special. I know what it's like to be in love. I was married once. What I will tell you is, be smart. A love like this comes along only once in a lifetime. Don't lose it, no matter what you have to give up. Trust me, you won't regret it." Hammond looked at his major, and she had tears in her eyes. Standing up and going to her side, he placed his hand on her shoulder. "He loves you. I know it. Make sure you tell him, out loud, before..."
"Unscheduled off-world activation." The announcement came over the base and the General and Sam went to the control room.
"Who is it Walter?" Hammond asked.
"I don't know, sir. We aren't receiving a signal." Walter returned to the computer and waited for more instructions.
Daniel and Teal'c came rushing in to the room. "Who is it?" Daniel asked.
"Don't know yet." Sam replied. Daniel looked at her, noticing she had been crying again. Sam mouthed she was okay, and Daniel nodded.
"Defense teams stand by!" Hammond ordered. "Open the iris."
The iris twirled open. After a moment, Hammond, Sam, and Daniel let out a gasp as Lya stepped through the event horizon.
"Oh my god, what is she doing her?" Daniel questioned.
"Defense teams stand down!" Hammond called to the gateroom. The group proceeded down to the ramp area to greet their friend and ally.
"Lya, welcome back to Earth. Is there something we can do for you?" Daniel stated.
"I believe, Daniel it is us, who can do something for you." Lya motioned for towards the gate and Anteus and Opher stepped through. The two men came down the ramp and stood with Lya.
Anteus spoke up on behalf of the three. "We have recently been contacted by our mutual allies, the Asgard. The told us that your Colonel O'Neill is very ill. Although they cannot help you at this time, they requested we come in their place."
Sam's face still showed uncertainty. "He is dying. We have done all we can. He is so sick, I don't know..."
Lya cut her off. "You are still very young. Have you not learned that what you see is not necessarily all you have? Please show us to Colonel O'Neill."
Sam put her head down in slight embarrassment. Hammond led all of them to the infirmary.
"Janet, look who's here." Daniel called to the doctor. Janet had never met the Nox, but she was enamored by their ability for healing.
Janet came over to greet them. "He is extremely..."
"Uh Janet, just...shh." Daniel told her.
Jack's skin had a yellow tinge to it, and his breathing was shallow. No one in the room was sure if this would help him, even though the Nox had revived SG-1 on the Nox homeworld. The three aliens stood at the bedside and began their attempt to heal the Colonel. Hammond, Teal'c, Daniel, Sam and Janet stood to the side and watched them.
"I hope this works Janet." Daniel grabbed Janet's hand and held it. Janet reached out and grabbed General Hammond's, who in turn took Sam's. She looked down to see who was holding her hand, and she smiled. Then she reached over, took Teal'c's hand, and gave it a squeeze. Teal'c gave a nod in Sam's direction.
The Nox stayed by the bedside for a long time. Their images faded in and out, as they used all their effort to heal Jack. The SG-1 family stood by, not daring to move. They wanted to make sure that if the process did not work, they would be there to say goodbye.
Putting their arms back down to their sides, Lya spoke with tiredness in her voice. "He will again be well, although it will be many turns of your sun before he will completely heal."
Janet came forward and checked on Jack. His vitals were returning to normal, and his breathing was getting more regular. "Oh my god. He's coming back." Through tears, Janet gave a huge smile to the group of friends.
"We must return to our home now. We are grateful we could be of help to you." Lya said.
"Thank you Lya. You have no idea how grateful we all are. I don't know how to thank you." Sam hugged her. "He means everything to us, I don't know what we'd do without him. Please, come back anytime, you are always welcome here."
"You can continue to mature as a race. With maturity comes knowledge. With knowledge comes understanding, and with that understanding you will be a valuable asset to the alliance." Anteus told them. General Hammond left to escort the Nox to the gateroom.
Later that evening, Sam was sitting with Janet by Jack's bedside. They were both tired, but neither wanted to leave in case Jack woke up. Daniel came in and joined the women.
"Hi Sam, Janet. How's he doing?" Daniel asked. He went and stood by Janet and put his arm around her. Janet looked up at him and smiled. Sam looked at both of them confused.
"Uh...did I miss something?" Sam questioned.
Janet gave a small laugh. "Yes, I guess you did. But it's just in the trying it out stage, we don't really know what's going to happen."
"Oh wow. That's great you guys. I hope it all works out for you. You guys are just too cute together." Sam looked happily at the two. /You had better take care of her Daniel. I've had enough sadness for a lifetime/
"You want to get some coffee Janet?" Daniel asked.
"Um, I don't know if I should leave." She responded looking at Jack's monitor.
"No, Janet, go. If something happens I'll page you." Sam practically shoved the two out the door. "Really, go. We'll be fine." Janet and Daniel left and Sam returned to her vigil.
"Jack, you're going to be fine. The Nox came and they did that healing ritual. It will be a long time before you're back to normal, but in the end, you'll be the same old Jack O'Neill. Oh, Jack. I...I thought I was going to lose you." Sam was holding his hand, and with the other, she was stroking his hair. "I love you. I have loved you for a long time. I don't want to go on without you knowing, without actually saying it. It's so important to say it. I love you, Jack O'Neill. More than you can imagine." Sam put her head down on the stretcher next to his. She lay there listening to him breathe, and she felt relieved that she had finally shared the truth of her love for him.
"This...stubborn son...of a bitch...loves you, too." Jack whispered, his voice horse. He turned his head slightly to face Sam.
Sam's head flew up, and she looked at Jack and smiled with tears streaming down her face. She climbed up on to the bed, placed her arms around Jack and snuggled close to him. "I know, Jack. I know." Sam fell asleep next to her commanding officer, and now, most importantly, the man she loved.
Finis
**This story is dedicated to my mother, Gail, who loved science fiction. Many of the situations and conversations in this story are based on actual events that occurred while I watched my mother slowly lose her battle with this disease on January 1, 2005. It was difficult to write, but I hope you all have enjoyed it. I pray someday we have the technology and medicines to end any terrible disease that ends a life before it should. I miss you and I love you, Mom.**
**Author's notes-- Great big honkin' thanks to Somnium for being a great beta. Wet sloppy kisses to Suekay and all the wonderful people at Stargate Intel; Mel, Shipaholic, SJShipperCathain, GateBee, UhSir, CatySG1, and Ambermoon for the great chats, encouragement and staying on me to update quickly, while also showing compassion, as they know how difficult this was for me to write. Cathain, thank you for the wonderful book cover and teasers. If I have forgotten anyone, sorry, you can slap me with a bendy ruler!!**
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Ginalynn71
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