In The Dark, Part 2
In The Dark, Part 2
by Laura Y
TITLE: In The Dark, Part 2
AUTHOR: Laura Y
EMAIL: mrdrdoc@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Missing Scene/Epilogue, Angst, POV, Romance, Thoughts
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SPOILERS: Beneath the Surface
SEASON / SEQUEL: 4; Sequel to In The Dark, Part 1
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: angst, male/female relationship
SUMMARY: What if more happened between Sam and Jack than we saw? Jack's POV.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is kind of a sequel to In The Dark, Part 1, but they can both be read sepatately. This is for everyone who wanted to see more in BtS, and Joe Malozzi who is a shipper, too.
The light laughter floats across the section to me as though carried by spirits. Even through the ever-present noise of the coal fires and steam generators, I can hear it. I know where she is, every moment of every day, and it's absurd how happy that knowledge makes me, as though I have something that I shouldn't. Every so often I look at her, just for the contentment I get from seeing her face, her form. And every time, no matter what she's doing, she always looks back.
When the bell signals shift's end, I turn to watch her finish the last adjustments to the emergency pressure release system that Brenna finally allowed her to install. I can't help the flush of pride I feel when I think of how she designed and built this wonderful new addition to the plant, and even figured out how to implement it without shutting down all of the generators. She's so smart. Smarter than anyone else here, even Brenna.
I really don't know what she sees in me. There are younger guys here. Better looking guys, stronger ones, smarter ones. But for some reason, we were drawn to each other. And even in my most self-deprecating moments, I know that she'd never choose one of them; she's mine, just like I'm hers. Sometimes it feels like we've been together forever, and I can't remember not being with her. Maybe, if I believed in stuff like fate, I'd say that we were meant to be together. Maybe if I believed in stuff like other lifetimes, I'd say that we'd been together in those, too.
That Carlan sure believes in other lives. He says that we're a team, that we all work together. Well, it makes sense, I guess. Thera and I work together better than anyone else here. I may not know what she's talking about a lot of the time, but it's almost like we can read each other's minds. Maybe we did have other lives, but I have to wonder how they could be better than this one.
Lately, when I wake up with her in my arms in the morning, I'm surprised. For just one second, I don't expect it to be Thera. Then she kisses me awake, and I feel so happy to be holding her close that I forget that first instant and the horrible empty feeling I get before I see her beautiful smile.
Carlan joins us at dinner again tonight, and wants to talk. I sit with Thera on my left, and as he goes on we lean into each other, although neither one of us needs the support. Whenever we're together, we're touching. Holding hands, the line of our legs as we sit next to each other, or holding each other close at night.
I can't seem to be near her without reaching out, almost like I need to reassure myself that she's real, and not just wishful thinking. She's always there, and always reaches back, like she needs the contact too. It's strange, and I don't know why, but I wouldn't have described either of us as a touchy-feely person. It only makes every bit of contact that much more precious.
After placating Carlan that we're at least considering that we belong somewhere else, we head to our cot for lights out. Maybe because we've been discussing the possibility that we don't belong here, or that we don't belong together, we make love desperately. As though it's our last chance.
It's dark when I wake up. Not totally pitch black, since both the moons are up, the smaller one nearly full, but still dark. Something had pulled me from my restless dreaming of that other lifetime, and I glance to check that Daniel is still awake on his watch before I turn over to look at the woman lying next to me. In the almost dark, I study the shadowed face of my second in command. With the moonlight on her features, she looks ethereal; I'd compare her to a sleeping angel if it weren't for the tears leaking slowly down her cheeks.
My chest constricts, and as trite as it sounds, I feel a pain in my heart. It would be something to worry a normal person, but hell, after a while you get used to it. I reach out, but before I can make contact I drop my hand to the dirt. I can't touch her here. I no longer have the right to hold her in the night, and wake up with her in my arms every morning.
My eyes fill with tears as she wakes and turns to look at me. She reaches her hand out, just far enough that her fingertips touch mine. I can't help the sigh that escapes me, any more than I can stop my arm from stretching the last few centimetres to tangle my fingers with hers.
I'd say that this pain that we're feeling is killing us, but it's not. In the light, during the day, we're fine. We're O'Neill and Carter, and we're just the same as always. We're still a great team, because that's how Jonah and Thera were, too. It's at night, when the memories surface, that we go back into that life. It's at night when it's different, since it was at night when Jonah and Thera had a chance to experience what we'd only dreamed of. And every night that we're off world on a mission, we wake like this.
It's time for her watch, and Daniel is coming to wake her. We pull our hands back, just enough that they could have fallen there in our sleep, but we both know that he isn't fooled. I turn over to follow her movements as she settles herself in the nook of a fallen tree to guard over us. Somewhere behind me Daniel is getting into his sleeping bag, and will pretend not to notice as I lie here staring at her until it is my turn, when she will do the same and stay awake as I watch protectively over my team in the dark.
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