Altering the View - Part 1
Altering the View - Part 1
by gidge_8
Summary: Dr. Samantha Carter arrives in the SGC from a parallel universe, but does not suffer ill effects that force her to return. What happens as she remains at the SGC?
Category: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama
Episode Related: 306 Point of View, 317 A Hundred Days
Season: Season 3
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Janet/other
Rating: GEN
Warnings: adult themes, minor language
Author's Notes: Settle in for a good long story! My first fanfic and I really went all out to make it special. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 04/18/07
** Day One: Exodus **
The invaders had arrived two weeks ago. Had it only been two weeks? She couldn't be entirely sure. During that time she'd barely slept, barely eaten. Any semblance to anything representing normal time had ceased to exist for her. How could it, when during the entire nightmare, she felt that somehow, somewhere in her brain existed the solution, if only she could find it somewhere in the recess of her mind.
Her husband had always made jokes about her intelligence, often in deference to himself, or in comparison to the rest of humanity. It was flattering that he felt that she was some sort of human super computer; she'd never felt that way. Now, contemplating her inability to find a solution to fight the invaders, she could only think of herself as an inadequate failure.
This had been her last, desperate idea, and it ultimately had been a failure as well. The place to which she and her companion had escaped did not have what they'd hoped for: people who seemed willing to help.
Currently she and her companion, her only link to her home world, were being transported from somewhere in Arizona, to Colorado Springs, and ultimately Stargate Command. They'd barely escaped, leaving everything and everyone they'd ever known. Now, in the relative calm, the adrenaline had time to seep from her system, and the magnitude of their action began to sink in. There would be no trip home, no miraculous rescue. Only a long, lonely existence among familiar strangers.
She turned to look at her companion, her husband's best friend. He was sound asleep in the seat across from her, and he looked terribly uncomfortable. She debated about waking him, to save him from the aching neck he was sure to get, but she reluctantly decided to let him sleep. She couldn't blame him for resting in whatever means possible, he'd been on the same harrowing schedule as she had been.
She desperately wanted to get a little rest on their trip also, but her mind could not stop replaying the events that had transpired over the last few days. The battle was over, and they had lost everything, yet she continued to try to solve the puzzle. Ultimately, she wanted to know why she had failed. At least, by busying her mind on the elusive solution, she didn't have to think of her future...at least not yet. It was better that way. She was among strangers, for the most part, and, if she thought about her present situation for too long, she doubted that she could keep herself from falling apart.
So, two weeks. What had happened, where was the key? She started with a mental inventory of every gadget that they'd encountered in the last three years, every planet they'd visited, every culture they'd allied with and against. Items flickered through her memory, and so many of them were tied with memories of lost friends and loved ones.
All she came up with was regret that she had escaped when so many others didn't. She found herself wishing that she'd died with the rest, but she'd made a promise, and her fellow refugee was here to make sure she was able to follow through on that promise.
Refugees. Was that really what they were? She had a difficult time thinking of herself that way. The word implied a certain helplessness to her. She didn't like feeling helpless, and the feeling was unfamiliar at best. In all her adventures, all the near misses of late, her husband had always been nearby, taking control, instilling confidence, making jokes that made her feel safe and inspired her to fix whatever was wrong.
She suppressed a sob. He wasn't here to take control anymore. He'd failed her this time. No, she'd failed him. She never found the answer, and he'd died creating a diversion so that she could escape.
She relived those last moments on her world, hoping that maybe she missed something. She couldn't stop hoping for another outcome, even though it was too late.
Her last desperate idea had been the quantum mirror, and General Hammond reluctantly had it transported to the base. The plan had expedited their inevitable demise. There had already been too much activity around the mountain complex. Families of people stationed at the base, selected scientists and specialists, political leaders had all been transported hastily to the SGA and promptly sent out through the Stargate to the Beta site.
All the activity had alerted the enemy to the fact that there was a place of refuge there. The security around the transport of the mirror from Area 50 to the SGA only added to it. Of course, it was only a matter of time before the advanced technology of the Goa'uld found one of the only large locations of naquedah on the planet. Nevertheless, the action had robbed them of precious time.
She had scarcely begun to research the object, when the attack on the mountain began. Unfortunately, many of the alternate realities she'd found through the device appeared to show a world either in the process of facing, or one already doomed from, a similar fate. Someone out there had found the answer, and she had desperately wanted to get that information from them before it was too late.
Explosions rocked the mountain, when she finally found a possible match. She ran to get the last of the survivors. With a little luck, they would get some sort of weapon from this alternate world and be able to return to save what was left of theirs.
But she was too late.
She remembered her husband during that time. They'd had one short conversation, basically, "this is it. I love you. Let's get out of here." Kawalski was ordered to cover her. As the plan went, he and the remaining personnel were going to set explosives to divert the intruders from the mirror while she and Kawalski got to the storage room. The plan was to get the mirror activated, and hold that corridor until he and the General joined them.
It had almost worked. She remembered turning back to look as the Jaffa blew open a doorway behind her to enter the corridor they had just run through. They turned and saw the imposing presence of the dark Jaffa who led the assault as he entered the corridor. With the blast came the knowledge that the other half of their escape party was cut off from the storage room.
Then came the part she wanted desperately to forget.... as Kawalski grabbed her arm to continue their run, Jack came racing around the corner, firing to cover, so she and Kawalski could get way. The General only a half step behind him. She felt frozen in place, helpless to do anything but watch as the activity drew the attention of the Jaffa. The world suddenly moved in slow motion as the Jaffa turned on him and fired.
She made eye contact with him as fell, a look of disbelief on his face.
Kawalski once again tugged at her arm, and she continued her run to the storage room, with even more determination. On the other side of that mirror was help, and she needed to get to it. She had a promise to keep, she'd promised to live, for the both of them.
+++
"Kawalski, we have to go now!". She'd shouted as she'd literally forced herself to think of the next plan. She needed help, and the only help left was in the quiet, unassuming reflection in front of her.
"We have to get the General!", he shouted back.
"There's no time", fear and desperation evident in her voice.
With that, he'd tossed a grenade in the hallway to delay their persuers.
Together, they touched the mirror and all became quiet. They found themselves on the other side of the mirror, in a large storage room. The blast of the grenade smashed into the mirror's silent reflection, and immediately it went dark, leaving them separated from what was left of their home universe. They took a moment to hope that the grenade blast would possibly make their pursuers think that they had been obliterated along with the hall. With any luck, not that they'd had any for a long time, it would stop any further investigation to their mysterious disappearance.
Sam still held the remote to the mysterious device. With no remote in their former base, it was unlikely anyone would be capable of reactivating the mirror anyway. At least that's what they'd hoped. Unfortunately, it also meant that any friends who might still be alive would be unable to join them in their refuge.
It was so quiet in the room that it was almost like they were dreaming, they'd spent days battling to save the mountain complex and get as many of their people to the beta site. Now, with adrenaline still pumping through their systems, they had nothing to do but await their unknown fate. It was almost more frightening than the carnage they'd just left behind.
Fortunately, they didn't have to wait long. Only seconds after they realized the reality of their escape, Sam bumped into a security beam, and they found themselves surrounded by security troops and once again found weapons pointed at them.
"Put your weapons down, now! "
She felt exhausted. There was nothing but the barest strand of hope in her overtaxed brain. They had already watched everything they had ever known be systematically destroyed, every friend they'd ever known die, many right before their eyes. 'If this plan did not work', she thought, 'what difference does it make if we live or die?'.
She lowered her gun, and nodded to Kawalski. He understood, and slowly did the same. She silently prayed, to whatever God might listen, that maybe, just maybe, this might have been the right choice.
"I'm Dr. Samantha Carter of the SGA. This is Major Kawalski. I need to speak to your Commander."
That was two days ago.
There was no help on the other side, only endless questions and interrogation to validate their story. After all this time, the only remaining outcome they could hope for was refuge. Two days of wasted time cost their world dearly, she was sure. There now was no hope to get help, no hope of returning to a devastated and enslaved world.
++++
They arrived at the SGC in the middle of the night, and Major Charles Kawalski was exhausted. The adrenaline had finally left his system, and in the relative safety of the plane, he'd dozed off. In a way, he felt guilty. His duty from here on was to protect Sam at all costs. The ghost of his best friend wouldn't accept anything less. Unfortunately, he couldn't do that if he didn't get some rest when he was able.
On the positive side, at least being in this world's version of the SGA, he was fairly certain that they were almost safe. While the people here were strangers, they were exact echoes of the friends he'd left behind, albeit most of them were dead now. He'd seen enough on the way in to realize that the personalities were no different. He didn't entirely trust them, but, he was fairly confident that their little intrusion wasn't likely to prompt any rash action.
The place they came to was identical, but still alien. Of course, one seldom was comfortable or happy to be in any medical facility, and the first location they were led to was the infirmary. He and Sam had both anticipated that they were going to endure the expected battery of tests.
One of the first things that struck him as odd, was the greeting he got as he was escorted to the medical facility. Siler saw him in the hallway and dropped his jaw in shocked surprise, and simultaneously dropped a very large wrench on his foot. Charlie instinctively moved to help him up and Siler, never a big conversationalist, barely mumbled a "thank you" as he gaped at him.
Also on the way to the infirmary, he caught others staring at him oddly. It didn't take long for him to figure out something was amiss. He felt oddly uncomfortable, and silently hoped that he would be able to get some answers soon.
He got at least one pleasant surprise once he did enter the infirmary. He was expecting old Doc Sheffield, that heartless bastard, to torture them both through the ritual exam. Instead, a pretty brunette marched into the room. His first instinct was to make a smart comment to her that she'd changed, but, held his tongue for once. O'Neill had told him on more than one occasion that he'd have made Colonel ages ago if he wasn't always such a smart ass. He didn't want to start off on a bad note with a new doctor.... mainly because in his line of work, it was the doctor that held way too much power. He called it "self preservation". The doc had obviously been called in for a very late shift and she wasn't looking overly friendly at the moment.
The doc started to loosen up slightly as the tests came back verifying that he and Sam really were who they said they were. After all, they were all in this all nighter together, and eventually, the doc started to see that both he and Sam were beyond exhausted. He observed that the little doc gradually changed over from critical, to skeptical, to concerned as she realized that her new patients desperately needed food and rest.
The hours passed pretty slowly. Charlie found himself alternating between anxious and boredom. He and Sam spent a long night dealing with blood tests, MRIs, EEGs, and more acronyms than he could find in a bowl of alphabet soup, and felt compelled to say so. The doc actually broke her very serious, professional facade to chuckle at that one. He took that opening to start lightening up the mood with a few jokes here and there. At the very least it distracted him from the physical from hell. Old Doc Scheffield never would have allowed him to crack a joke. This doc went along with it pretty well. She was way too professional, but he decided he'd make it a personal mission to get her to smile a little more.
The doc had food brought in and he hastily devoured a sandwich. Any food tasted good at this point, even if it was hospital food. He also realized that now that he'd had his first decent meal in days, his next objective was to get a shower and some fresh clothes.
He noticed the good Doc kept a sharp eye on any movement from her charges, despite the fact that armed security was immediately outside the entrance to the room. He respected that. He debated how he might strike up a conversation without adding to her concern. Although they'd passed the tests so far, he was certain that he and Sam were still under a great deal of suspicion. He didn't want to do anything that would add to that.
As he took in his surroundings, he noticed that Sam had finally fallen asleep on the bed. He gently pulled the blanket up and tucked her in, and looked at her sadly. He could only imagine what she was going though right now, and hoped he could be a good enough friend for the two of them to get through the next few hours, days and weeks. He looked up to see the doc watching him with sympathy and guessed that all doctors might not be inhuman after all,. He gave her a sad smile.
"Are you alright?", she asked quietly, so as not to disturb the sleeping Sam.
"To tell you the truth, Doc, I have no idea right now. I'm tired, confused, worried, but at least I'm not hungry anymore," he responded.
She smiled at his attempt to lighten the gravity of the situation. "That's all?", she asked.
"Well, no. Doc, can I ask you something?"
She regarded him suspiciously. "It depends...."
"Nothing serious, Doc, but do you know why everyone keeps looking at me funny?"
She regarded him for a moment, trying to figure out if there was any reason that she shouldn't tell him. "I suppose you'll have to find out sooner or later", she said. "Maybe you should sit down", she motioned to the chair near her desk.
He wanted to think he took the news fairly well. Finding out you were dead for a couple of years is a bit of a shock, but then again, it's not like losing a friend or anything. It was more or less surreal. The Doc was also about as kind a person as he'd want to have deliver bad news. They talked for a while about the general stress he and Sam had been under for the last several days. She eventually sent him off to get changed into something more practical than hospital scrubs.
"Thanks Doc. You realize that my old doc would have kept me in the old backless gown thing just to make sure I didn't run off. I suspect you either don't know me well enough or you might be human after all."
Janet smiled, "It might just be that you don't know me well enough, Major. Colonel O'Neill would definitely never agree with you on my being human."
**
Charlie didn't sleep, preferring to make sure that Sam stayed safe. He was feeling more secure as time went on, but he still was on edge as the reality of their situation, and the finality of their decision settled into his mind.
Sam was still sleeping when General Hammond arrived. He talked briefly with Dr. Fraiser before he invited Charlie into a side room for debriefing. Upon seeing Hammond, talking with him, Charlie started to relax a bit. This General Hammond was just like the man he'd left behind. He was logical, fair, and most importantly, willing to listen to all sides before making his decision. Charlie didn't expect instant trust from the man, but it looked like he and Sam were at least going to get their fair chance. He didn't expect or really want anything more than that.
***
She couldn't sleep long, as the daily base activity started to pick up. Not unexpected were the odd stares from each individual they met, though Charlie was getting more of those than she was. She finally asked why, and she got the news that Major Charles Kawalski had been dead for nearly 3 years. He paled a bit at the mention of it, even though he'd already gotten the news earlier. Apparently, hearing it again was still a bit shocking, then he made one of his usual jokes to the Doctor about looking good for being 3 years dead. Sam even joked back, telling him that that explained a lot. The look he gave back was priceless. What was more priceless was the fact that she'd almost smiled. She couldn't remember the last time that happened.
Charlie had finished with the Doctor, and had gone to shower and change into some fresh clothing. She couldn't wait for her turn. It had been a couple of days of wearing the same outfit and she wanted to stand under a hot shower for at least an hour.
It had been a long night, now morning. They briefly met with General Hammond, who reacted just as they would have expected their own General to react. She wondered how many more would be stopping by to check out the "freak show" and leaned back on the lumpy infirmary bed, hoping that soon she would be able to finally get some rest when she heard him.
Her eyes snapped wide open. She was suddenly fully alert again.
"Whoa! What happened to you?" His voice went through to rock her very soul. She sat upright and stared at the doorway and there he was, as real and as handsome as she remembered him. He was smiling, as if her appearance was maybe a joke, and her heart leapt in her chest.
"Jack! "
"Jack?", he echoed, as if she said a word foreign to him. Maybe his name wasn't Jack in this universe.
"You're alive", were later the only words she could remember uttering.
"That's what I keep hearing myself", Charlie interrupted, having just returned, with his security escort.
"Kawalski?"
And so it began....
**
Their meeting with the General and Sam's double did not go as well as they had begun to hope. There was a Jaffa there. Not just any Jaffa. THE Jaffa. The one who killed Jack. Her heart got stuck in her throat. Charlie noticed him at almost the same moment that they both entered the room and lunged for him. She felt her battered and frayed nerves go on alert yet again.
Her mind went on overdrive. Was this some sort of trap? Oh God no. Panic. She fought to keep it down, as Jack ordered Charlie to sit down. Charlie sat down, as far away from the Jaffa as he could, and glared at him.
God, it was all wrong! Maybe they were all evil? Maybe they were all hosts to Goauld. She briefly found herself hoping that maybe they'd let them use the mirror again to go elsewhere. She immediately abandoned that thought. Leaving this universe was so NOT an option. She couldn't go through another few days of questioning to try to convince everyone of their sincerity again. She had to make this situation work.
She stared around the room and saw, well, herself, also, not something that she had been fully prepared to encounter. She justified that her reaction had to be due to the lack of sleep. Logic aside, seeing herself was almost more unnerving than seeing the Jaffa. Still at a loss for words, she spit out the only thing that came to mind. "Nice hair".
The woman who was her double smiled, and to her credit, tried to respond kindly. "It's military".
With that one response, she found herself furious. This world was perfect! Even the Jaffa were on their side! The comment caused her to snap at this woman who had it and she didn't. Call it jealousy, or maybe it was just the combination of adrenaline, stress and exhaustion, but saying the word military hit a sore point. "I couldn't imagine being in the military."
"I couldn't imagine NOT", and she saw the same irritation reflected in the other woman's eyes. She realized that might have ruined their chances of staying, except for dear Jack, who interrupted with just enough levity. "Ladies... Sams... we're all in this reality together." Together. It was a good choice of words, and just what she needed to hear.
She trembled visibly as she took the last remaining seat - the one next to Jack. God, she so wanted to sit next to him! But it wasn't him. She swallowed, and tried to pretend it was just another briefing, though fear was now coming to the surface. She *had* to get along with these people, or there would be no hope. She was nearing the end of her reserves. She had a feeling from Charlie's' outburst that he was barely staying sane himself.
Fortunately, the briefing was short. She explained their plight, and, as she and Charlie had previously agreed, asked for asylum.
Major Carter... that's what Sam decided to call her, expressed an annoying curiosity about her and her universe. If she had anything left of her nerves intact, she probably wouldn't have been so annoyed. But she hated the military, for how strict it was. This Major Carter was too cool, too logical, too military. It was so NOT her. Yet, Major Carter had succeeded in keeping her world safe, where she had failed. It hurt, and satisfying the woman's curiosity was just not on her list of things to do right now. Maybe someday, but not now. Now, she just wanted to be left alone.
***
Sam had little to do, except wait to hear of their fate. She and Charlie had been escorted to individual VIP quarters. They were still under guard, and would probably remain so for a while, until these people started to trust them. At least the quarters were better than being in a cell, but when one is 20 stories underground, the furniture makes little difference. She still felt like she was in a cage.
For the first time in 3 days, she had nothing to do but think, and she had the privacy to finally release all the stress and grief she'd been stoically holding in. She thought about her husband, and allowed the fact to settle on her mind that he was really, truly gone from her. This Jack had not been unkind, but, he saw her as a stranger, and that almost was worse than him not being here at all.
She took out the picture she used to keep in her lab. The one she hastily grabbed from it's frame as they were evacuating the area, and gently placed it on the nightstand. It was her favorite picture from their wedding, it showed outwardly all the joy they both felt that day. Joy that she was certain that she'd never know again. Something inside her broke, and she started to sob. She didn't stop for almost 3 hours.
Dr. Frasier stopped by once, and asked about her eating. Insisting that she get something into her soon. Sam just mumbled something about not wanting to be in public view right now. It seemed to satisfy her. "I understand. I'll have somebody bring something to the room in a little while." Sam nodded, it wasn't worth fighting over, and she just wanted the woman to leave, so she could be alone again.
She turned and went back to sobbing out her pain.
It was only minutes later, that there was a knock on the door. 'Oh God, why can't they just leave me alone?', she thought. "Just put it on the table and close the door."
"Put what on the table?" That voice! Oh God, that beautiful voice. She felt herself go on alert, fearing that he would leave. Double or not, she wanted him there. Seeing him alive and well was so important to her that at that moment she thought she couldn't survive if he left.
"Your Dr. Frasier keeps insisting that I eat something", she informed him, trying to sound normal.
"Ah", he gave that small smile that told her he had something good to say. "Well, she's your Doc Frasier now too. You can stay", and with that he smiled a satisfied grin, expecting her to smile back at the good news. He was so like her husband, but he wasn't. Suddenly she realized how impossible it would be to not constantly compare the two. By staying in this place, she would never, ever be able to let go of him. She'd never be able to grieve and move on. He'd always be there, as a reminder of who she'd lost, and it would carve her heart to bits.
"That's great", and she sobbed at the harsh reality of her future alone.
**
After Jack left her room, she finally had the urge to finish the food left for her. Goodness, it felt good to eat something.
She had cried on Jack's shoulder for a long time. She felt nearly cried out. He had the same effect on her that her husband had. By simply being himself, and being there for her, he gave her the confidence to believe she would overcome any obstacle. She *would* get through this. She had to, if only not to leave Charlie alone here. That, and the fact that she had promised her husband that she'd never, ever give up. She was so sorry she'd made that promise.
Now that the initial fight/flight was over, she basically crashed. She slept for 12 solid hours. Back to index
Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Getting to know you Author's Notes: We start to diverge from the known storyline here.
** Day Two: Getting to know you **
The next morning came way too quickly. She could have slept longer, but it was time to face her new future, her new "home".
A military jumpsuit was supplied for her to change into. God she hated the military. Her thoughts wandered to her alternate, and she wondered how that woman could have joined the military for any reason. It made no sense!
In fact, as she contemplated the entire situation, it was beyond bizarre. Her husband was dead, her world destroyed. She was a stranger in a familiar land, that was not, and never would be, her home.
She realized that she needed constant activity to keep herself sane. Being busy, she didn't have to dwell on the facts that brought her here. She was looking forward to getting some new work, so she could bury herself in it and hide from reality, alternate or not.
She showered and went to face her new future, with a grim but determined attitude.
**
Jack O'Neill walked into the mountain that day, his poor addled brain still trying to cope with the bizarre events of yesterday. It was one of the weirdest days of his life. No, make that THE single most weird, whacked-out, messed up day he could never have even imagined.
The universe was messing with him again. No, worse than that, MULTIPLE universes were messing with him. It was just wrong. At any moment this was going to turn into a Twilight Zone episode, he was sure of it. Either that, or he'd wake up. He was kind of hoping that when he stepped into the mountain this morning that he would find out that he'd just had a really, really bad dream. But, no such luck. Shortly after he entered the mountain, he found out that they were still there. As General Hammond had said the previous day, "Some lines aren't meant to be crossed." What an understatement.
It's not that Jack didn't understand the concept of the alternate universe crap. That wasn't so bad. He really wasn't *that* dumb. But the actual act of dealing with it on a personal level, now *that* was hard. Two Sams. Which one is real? And one of them had been in love with him, hell, she was MARRIED to him. Him! Or not him.
He'd thought about it till his head hurt.
He went home, after talking with "Dr." Sam, after he held her while she cried over losing his other self, and, thought about how, God, she felt good in his arms. He felt guilty about that. He'd wanted to hold her and make her feel better, while a small part of him was being jealous of another him being married to her.
After all, she was still his Sam, in a way and, if she was the same person, he did care about her. Sam. His second in command. No, not his second in command. This woman was just Sam. Dr. Sam. She just happened to be identical to Carter, who was his friend, his teammate and one hell of a good looking woman.
Dr. Sam had said, "You know HER. But you don't see her that way, do you?". Those words bugged him more than anything, and he kept thinking about it. He could not deny that he found Carter attractive. Hell, he was sure every guy on the base had a crush on her. He was no exception. He couldn't help but see her as beautiful, smart, funny, capable. She was the whole package, and he was damn lucky to have her by his side every day.
He totally did care about her, and love was not out of the question, but at this point in time, it was a friendly love. Now, if they were put in another situation, non-military, would he be likely to ask her out on a date? Oh yeah. Hell yeah! He was just pretty sure that she would turn him down. But that was neither here nor there. No, Dr. Sam was right, he didn't see her that way, but now that she brought it up, he was pretty sure he could, if given the chance.
Arrrghhh! It was driving him crazy thinking about it! He went home last night, opened a beer, that slowly turned warm in his hand as he sat and mulled over the whole damn thing over and over and over. He didn't sleep well, his mind could not let it go. Married to him. Married! To HIM. It was SO not possible. And now she was here. And what the hell was he going to do? Fortunately, Dr Sam didn't mention it to anyone else...yet.
He didn't know how he would cope after people started finding out about that little "married" factoid. That would be a good one for the rumor mill. Multiple universes. Messing with him. He just felt so darned special.
The mental puzzle was just too much right now. God, it must be tough on Sam, ah Dr Sam, that is. So he started feeling more guilt that he was thinking so much about himself. Arrghh! Give him a good firefight any day of the week. Lots of bad guys. Things to blow up. Where good and bad were a clear thing in his mind, and the right thing to do was as simple as shooting the guy with the glowing eyes.
Yes, that was yesterday. Now, he would have to walk into work and try to just go on with life as usual in the SGC. It would never be the same, he was sure of that now. On the bright side, one could never, ever call it boring.
**
Dr. Samantha Carter was escorted to General Hammond's office, ready to start her new life, she hoped. It was time to look forward, because looking back hurt so damn much. Escorted. Logically, she understood the military reason behind it, but, on a personal level, it still bugged her that they didn't trust her. It was a military thing. She understood the reason for security, she didn't have to like it. She willed herself to accept it, knowing that it would probably get better as time went on, as they learned to realize that she and Kawalski were not a threat. These were good people, they were still the people she knew, and loved. It would be alright eventually. She just had to hold it together for a little longer.
"General Hammond, sir, thanks for seeing me."
"Sit down, Doctor", he said kindly, a gentle, understanding smile on his face. She relaxed a little as she recognized his demeanor, her heart lightened just a bit. Yes, they were still the people she loved. This universe wasn't all that different.
"How are you feeling today?", he inquired.
"A bit better, Sir." It was the truth. Crying on Jack, feeling him hold her was SO much what she'd needed to release all the pent up fear, grief, and raw emotions that she held in for 3 long days. 12 hours of sleep later, her frayed nerves had finally started to settle down. She was far from being ok, but, the journey at least had begun.
"Good," he smiled, "I've been working on ideas of what we should do with you, and Major Kawalski. As you know, we greatly value your knowledge and expertise, but it's going to take a little getting used to having two Samantha Carters around."
She nodded in agreement. Tough for all of them. She knew.
"What I'd like to start with", he continued, "is to have you work with members of my team to go over your universe's explorations and discoveries. Much of your work was probably similar to what we've done and seen here, but if there are other worlds or dangers you've encountered that we have not, I'd like to get an idea of them. The same discoveries may or may not exist here, but, at least we'll have some further insight. The same is true for you, there are things in our universe that you need to learn about. "
"Yes, Sir", she frowned a little. "But sir, I'd really like to get to work in a lab as soon as possible."
She wanted work. Lots of it. Anything to keep her mind from the nightmarish memories. She was hoping for a big, honkin' piece of technical anything. Something inanimate, something cold and separate from her past. Reliving her old life was not on her list of fun things to do right now.
"I'm sure you would", he smiled gently again. "Covering your missions will probably be rough, and I'm sorry to put you through it, but, I need you to understand that we really need to get to know you. And we really need any intel that you can provide. I think that this is a good way for my people to accept you and get us all moving forward. "
She nodded slowly. He was right. So, she asked the obvious question, even though she knew what the answer would be, "Who will I be working with?"
"Mostly SG-1," he said. "Because your experiences would, of course mostly relate to that of Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill. I understand Daniel Jackson and Teal'c were not part of your version of the SGC."
"Yes, General. That's pretty much correct", she had to agree he was right, but she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Sure, she was happy that Jack would be there, but she didn't know Teal'c, she didn't really want to get to know the man who she had watched murder her husband so very recently. The other member was Daniel Jackson, a Doctor of Archaeology. He seemed nice enough on first impression, but she wasn't exactly clear headed at the time.
She frowned, and realized she really had no choice. She felt miserable, but, her mind overrode the emotion. Dr. Samantha Carter had a job to do, she thought to herself. She unwillingly felt herself straighten in her chair, as she put on her "professional" attitude, a part of her personality that secretly despised,. She almost felt like an outside observer as she heard herself ask, "When will we get started?"
"As soon as you're ready", he said. And he gave her that understanding, grandfatherly look that warmed her heart. He was silently telling her that it was OK if she needed more time. She internally strengthened her resolve. She could do it, because General Hammond needed her, and she wanted him to be proud of her.
"Today will be fine, Sir." She would get through this. Just hold it together, hold it together a little longer. The words became a steady chant inside her grieving mind.
**
Major Charles Kawalski had far more serious reservations about the idea of opening up to his new teammates. Largely because one big, scary-looking Jaffa sat in the same room. He felt like he was giving secrets to the enemy, and had no difficulty in voicing his concern. Nevertheless, he agreed and found himself across the table from the man he least wanted to see.
Of course, he could have refused. Hammond did give him the same option to postpone the ordeal as Sam had been offered. But, Charles Kawalski was too honorable for that, and now found he was mentally chastising himself for such a flaw. Undoubtedly, his dearly departed ex-friend was well aware of this sense of duty when he assigned him to this unenviable task. He felt that he had to be in the room for one reason, and one reason only, and that was Sam. She was the only reason he was even in this universe in the first place. He would have preferred to die in his own reality's mountain, with his friends, preferably taking as many of the enemy with him as he could. Except for one little thing: he had sworn to his best friend, before he'd seen him die, that he would look after his wife and keep her safe, nomatter what. Leaving her alone in this room with the enemy was unacceptable, regardless of the assurances of these strangers that the Jaffa currently residing in their midst was on their side.
So Charlie silently continued to reflect on his dilemma and decided to let Sam do most of the talking. He scowled at Teal'c every chance he got. He deliberately sat as far away from the Jaffa as he could, refused to recognize him by name, and overall vented his anger to nearly everyone in the room. He later wondered how he remained sane for that first morning. One advantage to his deliberate silence was that he was able to observe the others in the room, and analyze their reactions as Sam spoke. His attention first went to Daniel Jackson, the geeky guy with the glasses, who started the talking. In fact, Charlie noticed the guy babbled a *lot*. Jackson was so absorbed in the entire process that was probably the only one in the room who wasn't tense. Everyone else apparently was also uncomfortable, for various reasons. Except the Jaffa. He just sat there, calm and silent. Charlie scowled at him again.
"So, let's just cover a brief history of how we started our explorations with the Stargate program", Daniel began. "We'll just start an outline of the timelines and compare notes of what we were doing to what you folks were doing and get an overall sequence of events for each universe."
Blah, blah, blah... the guy just babbled on! Charlie heard Jack's loud exasperated sigh, caught him tapping the desk, fiddling with his pen, and overall got the idea that Jack was just as annoyed as he was.
Just for a moment, it felt like old times. Just a moment. There was somebody in the room he could relate to. He started to feel a small glimmer of hope for this universe. Very small, but, as he sat by Sam's side, he started to feel just a little less alone.
As the morning droned on. He actually found himself paying attention as the story of the SGA was told. As it turned out, the biggest differences in the 2 stargate programs were at the very beginning. Without Daniel Jackson on the team, much of what happened at Abydos was very different.
**
Samantha was grateful Charlie was sitting by her side in the conference room. Her only remaining friend from home. He would possibly be the only one to understand the choices they made along the way that doomed their own world. These people knew nothing about them, and she couldn't help but wonder how they would be judged.
At some point, it would get easier, and this was their start to get to know each other, become allies, maybe even friends someday. She justified to herself that it was the logical way to start getting to know each other. It was just hard to see a reflection of her own self staring across the table from her, all confident and secure. She didn't even want to think about Jack sitting next to her. The Jaffa still made her nervous, but he truly did seem to be accepted by these people. Somehow, the fact that Jack accepted him had helped her to accept the situation.
She looked up and saw Daniel Jackson sitting across the table from her. Niceness just emanated from the man. He gave her an encouraging smile and she found herself smiling back, just a little. She took a deep breath and started their story.
There was nobody named Daniel Jackson on the initial mission to Abydos. Sam had worked relentlessly to crack the code to the gate, and it was only by sheer luck that she'd put it together. However, she was not asked to join the initial mission. Instead, they chose to bring a linguist along, since she was not an expert in reading ancient Egyptian.
After a few hours of not finding any glyphs in the area of the pyramid, the team led by Col. Jack O'Neill decided to search the area for more clues. Their search led them to the find the local city, and as Ra arrived, they were hidden by the local residents, in the very tunnels that had their answer in the form of the gate address.
Unfortunately, upon finding the bomb in the pyramid, Ra knew that someone had come to his world and insisted on hassling the population, until Jack and his team worked out the same plan to infiltrate the pyramid that had worked in the local universe. The Abydonians were actually eager to join forces with them to overthrow their enslavers, casualties were light, only 2 of the SGA team were wounded in the actual battle that ensued. Ra was destroyed. The victory was surprisingly easy, giving the newly established SGA a false sense of security.
After Abydos, the gate project was not shut down. Numerous archeological expeditions followed. A treaty was formed with the people of Abydos, and some trade was established for the mysterious minerals used in the Stargate design. The community there began to flourish as farming methods and medicines were improved there.
Without someone as skilled as Daniel in language, it took longer to do translations into the full story of the gate. A team of linguists took a couple of months to become truly comfortable with speaking with the locals.
Dr. Carter was sent to Abydos to study any technological devices left behind by Ra. They retrieved a wrecked glider, the ring transporter, and some of the hand devices and staff weapons, as well as the Jaffa armor that had been worn by those killed in the battle for Abydos.
After about a year of exploration and excavation work around the pyramid, the map room was discovered. This discovery initiated the SGA's exploration of other planets in the galaxy at nearly the same time as the SGC.
As the story unfolded, it became clear that the SGA was somewhat nave during their early days. Teal'c filled in a number of clues that they'd missed about Goauld occupation on several planets. Sam realized that if she'd had his knowledge, they could have figured out a number of things much more quickly. As it was, they still were weak in their translation of the Goa'uld language even after 3 years. While they had had extensive contact with the people of Abydos, the information they'd gathered was still very limited. The Abydosian knowledge of Goa'uld language was mostly limited to following basic orders given to them. They'd had no reference for actually interpreting the writings.
Nevertheless, with their newfound collection of Stargate addresses, the SGA began looking to see what else they might find in the galaxy. They were blissfully ignorant, thinking that Ra was the only remaining one of a dying race, based on the hieroglyphs found on Abydos. They had no idea about the world of system lords, and no idea of what they were stepping into.
The SGA was very fortunate in their early missions. The worlds they visited were largely uninhabited. Those few with inhabitants were relatively peaceful. As they overcame and brought back more knowledge, their confidence grew even further.
"So, you guys never went to Chulak", Major Carter stated.
"No. What's Chulak?", Charlie asked.
"It is the Jaffa homeworld which is under Apophis' control", Teal'c explained. "It is where I had the good fortune of meeting your alternate self, Captain Carter, as well as Col. O'Neill and DanielJackson for the first time. It is where I chose to begin my quest to free all Jaffa from the oppression of false gods."
"Sounds like a pretty big deal", Charlie studied Teal'c closely, looking for any trace of deception. The guy was so damn hard to read though!
"It was... a big deal, MajorKawalski", Teal'c continued. "The people of the Tau'ri saw the symbols that Apophis' Jaffa dialed while leaving the planet Abydos. They followed in order to rescue those that we had captured from that world."
"We?", Charlie's suspicion was obvious in his voice.
"Indeed", Teal'c said sadly, and lowered his gaze to the table. Major Carter looked at him in sympathy, Daniel became uncharacteristically silent and seemed to have suddenly found his pen to be utterly fascinating. Teal'c looked up, met Kawalski's eyes and explained. "I was among the Jaffa who kidnapped the woman from the SGC on this world, and I was among the Jaffa who took DanielJackson's wife and her brother from Abydos."
Both Sam and Charlie's eyes widened and their jaws dropped in unison. If the news wasn't so serious, their reaction might have been funny. They looked back and forth between Daniel and Teal'c at least half a dozen times. Daniel looked sad, Teal'c was impassive, it was insane.
"And you let him stay here? You work with him every day?" Charlie's voice rose with anger as said the words, looking back and forth from Jack to Daniel. "Are you people crazy?" He started to get up, not sure if he wanted to leave, or hit something.
Jack, who had been silent until now, stood up and reached across Sam to put his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Calm DOWN, Kawalski!", he ordered. "Everyone here understands what happened." Charlie sat back down, but his temper was getting the best of him. He still didn't want to be in this room, or in this universe for that matter. Some things didn't make sense, and he wasn't sure he wanted to understand.
"Uhhh... I think I should be the one to fill this in", Daniel interrupted softly, his voice choked with emotion. Everyone in the room turned toward him. He paused, and looked around the table before he spoke, choosing his words carefully.
"I forgave Teal'c, because now I know the person that he is, not what he was. Teal'c was a slave to Apophis, and in that capacity, he did what he had to do. I know Teal'c, and I know now how he regrets what he had to do as Apophis' first prime. He's given up being with his *family* to help us defeat this guy, and he's also trying to help rescue my wife. So, please, hear me out. I trust Teal'c with my life, and he's helped us save this world more than once. He's my friend and if you're the man I knew as Kawalski in this reality, someday he'll be your friend too."
Daniel modestly looked over at Teal'c, and Teal'c tilted his head in a low respectful bow. "Thank you DanielJackson. It is my honor to call you friend as well."
Charlie slowly started to realize that these people were for real. He still didn't trust that Jaffa, but, hell, there was some serious weight to Daniel's testimony.
Samantha was also noticeably affected by the exchange. Her blue eyes wide with sympathy for Daniel, and respect for his capacity for forgiveness. Talking about their discoveries was good. Hearing the comparisons with this SGC was better. Learning about these people was important. As difficult as this process was, it was vital to all involved to understand these things about each other in order to move forward. However, it was also an exhausting excersize, and she now saw that common burden in the face of everyone in the room. Their work was intense, in any universe. Friends lost, evil everywhere, and an entire world that was their sole responsibility to keep safe.
"Ok... so.... let's move on, shall we?", Daniel took up the conversation again, yanking Samantha out of her reverie. He obviously was looking to move on to a topic that was less serious, and she was more than willing to agree, until she heard his next words, "Next we have on our mission list is a planet referred to as the Land of Light....:
Samantha had been ready to speak, but as she heard the words, she paused and took a deep breath, it sounded a little ragged. Charlie caught her reaction and knew it had to do with what was coming next in the timeline. It was going to be a little tough on her. He reached over and patted her hand in reassurance. "I'll take this one, Sam."
"Thank you", she said, looking relieved.
They found a planet where the inhabitants called themselves the People of Light, SGA assigned SG-1 and SG-3, where they contracted a disease that rapidly infected the entire base, causing them to revert to a primitive, violent behavior. Charlie explained that he and one of the assistant doctors were the only ones apparently unaffected. They found that their use of anti-histamines due to allergies affected the disease. He tried to detail the changes the victims went through, and the eventual solution in as much detail as he could.
Daniel spoke up, squinting a little with the uncomfortable memory of his personal experience on the planet. "We had an extremely similar mission", he said. "Except I was the one who was on the allergy medication."
Jack smiled, "Awwww Daniel, you know you still got to have some fun too after your meds wore off!"
"Indeed", Teal'c added. "Should you not relay your full account of the experience DanielJackson?"
"Uhhhh... that's not really relevant to the mission, right? So, it's probably not worth boring you all with, umm, the details", Daniel stammered.
Sam and Charlie looked at each other. It was the first time the Jaffa's serious expression had altered all morning, and it sounded like... a friendly banter!
Major Carter just played with her folder containing the mission report and tried not to make contact with anyone. Apparently, this was not one of her favorite recounts either, as she appeared to be hiding a blush. Jack's reaction was also interesting. He just sat back in his chair, folded his hands and rested them on the top of his head, and stared across the table at his teammates, smiling.
Charlie followed the lead and decided to dig into what had gotten Daniel so embarrassed about this mission and the conversation continued with a few lighthearted jokes at Daniel's expense, but Dr. Carter didn't hear it.
She had tuned out of the conversation completely immediately after Daniel's remark. She closed her eyes. No, it wasn't necessary to share all the details of their mission either, for that matter. Right now she really didn't want to. She tuned the others out and let her mind wander back to recount her own experience during that time.
For the near disaster that the mission had been, she recalled the incident almost fondly. She remembered how Jack had been one of the first affected by the disease, before they really knew what was happening to them. He had appeared in her lab, like he had done almost everyday before, but this time things took a radical turn. He was almost predatory as he approached her, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her into a passionate embrace. She had had no idea before that day that he'd even found her remotely attractive and she was completely swept up in the moment, and found herself starting to respond.
Unfortunately, the passionate moment quickly began to turn into a violent attack, as she realized something was very wrong with the Colonel. His kiss became overly demanding, as he started to grope her and tear at her clothing. She made an attempt to break away from him, only to to have him pin her on her lab table. She remembered screaming in fear. Charlie had been in the hall and had come running to her rescue only to be punched out cold. Poor Charlie. She noticed he left out that part of the mission as well. She was only saved by hitting the alarm while Jack had been distracted by Charlie's entrance. It took 4 or 5 guards to subdue him.
After the incident was resolved, and the people in the Land of Light had been given the antidote as well, Jack asked her out on their first date. Of course, the invitation was under the guise that he needed to take her out to dinner to apologize for his rude behavior. It was such a fond memory....
Sam was snapped out of her little daydream as Major Carter interrupted the tale, "It would make sense that, after finding the map that you probably started going to many of the same worlds we did, by searching them in the same order."
"Yyyess", Sam stutterred. Her eyes were starting to fill with tears. She fought them back. "I wrote a dialing program and started using the list in what appeared to be a logical order based on their sector within the galaxy."
They started getting chatty about the details of the dialing program and Jack decided he'd had enough for this morning. "Ack!", he interrupted with his favorite techo-annoyed look. "Why don't you...Carters take that part offline for now. It's about time to break for lunch anyway and I've lost circulation in my legs from sitting here all morning." Both Sams smiled at him being himself. "Daniel, do you have enough info to keep you busy for a while?"
"Yeah, Jack.", he replied, "but before we break, I just have one question."
"What's that?", Jack asked.
"Dr. Carter, if you didn't go to Chulak, how did your people first encounter Apophis?", Daniel asked.
"We had a small team of scientists working at Ra's pyramid site when Apophis came through with his Jaffa", she looked over at Teal'c. "They took several of the natives who were helping them and left. "
"They dialed up here as well, but by then, Sam had already invented an iris to keep out any unwanteds", Charlie added.
"That was a wise choice", Teal'c tilted his head toward Dr. Carter.
"Yeah", Charlie agreed, but it didn't help for long. We ran into the guy again on P4X-052. "He captured an entire team, and turned 2 into hosts. Tortured the others to death. He got all the information out of the hosts, who came back through the Stargate. "
"They were on the base for nearly a week before we figured out they had been turned into Goa'uld", Sam added sadly. "The one we captured told us how the others had died."
"The *one* you captured?", Jack pressed for more.
"Yeah", Charlie explained. "The other got away as part of a mission. He killed his team and got all the intel back to Apophis."
"Ew!", Jack's face expressed his unhappiness with that.
"Yeah, he then demanded that we give back his buddy, who happened to be inside one of our own. We couldn't. The docs tried to extract the slimy little snake and the poor guy ended up dead. "
Silence descended on the room. All of SG-1 started staring at their notebooks, even Teal'c.
"What? What did I say?", Charlie wanted to know.
It was Jack's turn to explain, and his expression was grim. "Sorry Kawalski, but you just described how you died."
Charlie felt sick. It was one thing to know you'd died, it was another to find out how. It was something he was sure he didn't want to know, yet, there had been a morbid curiosity about what got him. He'd always figured it would be a firefight, doing something heroic. But to find that he'd been taken over by one of those hideous buggers, no! Not that. God! Anything but that....
"Is it time to break yet?", he asked noone in particular. "I gotta get outta here."
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I could really use some lunch. What d'ya say?", Jack tried to break the serious mood. Charlie was eager to not continue the conversation, and quickly agreed.
Nods and murmurs of agreement came from the group and, together, they headed to the cafeteria.
Charlie stayed silent for much of the lunch. That Daniel guy continued his babble about the differences in their universes, Jack did his best to ignore him. The Sams mostly got into technobabble about anything and everything, and it was easier to just keep out of it. Jack occasionally tried to interrupt, but it was like stopping a runaway train, so resigned himself to rolling his eyes and looking helplessly at Teal'c. Teal'c seemed content to sit silently and observe, though now, Charlie was detecting just a hint of amusement in his face.
Charlie took it all in. Sam was going to be all right, it seemed. Major Carter was just as nice and just as geeky as his Samantha. They would happily spend hours comparing notes. If anything, she seemed happy to finally have someone who understood her at her own level.
Jack called their conference thing over for the day. He sounded like he'd had enough of dealing with it all for now, and came up with some excuse of paperwork and mission plans and such. Daniel had notes to process. Teal'c was going to help Siler with some weapons experiment. And the Sams, well, they had geek stuff to talk about. Charlie was left on his own to contemplate his fate, and it gave him a big, honkin' headache. He thought that keeping track of his own universe was difficult enough. Now he had another one to think about as well. He decided he needed to go buy a big bottle of aspirin.
He wandered around the base for a little bit, trying to notice any differences between it and his former home's base. Word of him and Sam had gotten well around, and he got plenty of stares, and a few conservative smiles and nods. It was uncomfortable, for the most part, though not entirely unexpected. It was good to run into Ferretti, though they weren't quite sure what to talk about, so Charlie ended the conversation quickly and kept walking.
He eventually found himself in the infirmary. Fortunately, it was a quiet day there. No alien diseases, broken bones or staff blasts to deal with, so the staff was just doing some light inventory work. He found Dr. Janet Frasier in her office and gave the open door a light knock.
"Hi, Major", she smiled, and he found himself relaxing a bit as he gave a genuine smile back. He came to the decision that she was a kind person, even if she was a Doctor. It was relief that she just accepted him, that she didn't give him the same questioning look that he was getting from others around the base. "What can I do for you today?"
"Hey, Doc", he grinned, "All this alternate reality stuff is giving me one hell of a headache. Ya think you can give me something for it?"
She gave him an understanding smile. "I don't blame you, it's tough enough for those of us here to get used to the idea, I can't imagine how much stress you and Sam must be dealing with."
"You don't know the half of it, Doc", Charlie confided. "I just found out how the other me died, and it's something I think I really didn't want to know."
"Oh, Major, I am so sorry. We should have probably thought that through a little bit."
"No, Doc, I don't think anyway of hearing it would have made it any easier", he said. "I just can't imagine turning into one of those, those THINGS. No wonder half the base is looking at me funny. "
It was true, he looked, well, lost, which was not something she thought of as typical of the Major Kawalski she'd treated 3 years ago. She remembered him as a confident, somewhat cocky person, who always had a joke and cheerful outlook - until he found himself being slowly taken over by the parasitic Goauld. This man was definitely feeling out of his element, and it wasn't hard to understand why, having just left behind his entire universe.
Janet got up and walked over to get some aspirin from the cabinet.
"Have a seat, Major", she motioned to the nearest chair. "I just want to do a quick check to make sure that there isn't anything more serious."
She flashed the penlight in his eyes, and kept talking. As a doctor, she felt the emotional state of her patients was just as important as the physical. This man really seemed to need a friend right now, and she had some time to help, she put aside her other work for the day.
"So, Major, how have things been going on your second day here?", she started.
"Actually, it's more like the fourth... we spent the first two days trying to convince the security guys in Area 51 that we weren't some kind of spies before they finally shipped us here", he corrected.
"That must have been rough in itself. You have to give yourself some time to adjust and let your system return to normal after all the adrenaline that you were surviving on", as she continued to check his heart rate, lungs, the usual stuff. She found he seemed healthy enough, although his blood pressure was a bit high. Yes, it was definitely stress.
"Yeah, I know, Doc. But what exactly is normal? I've got nothing familiar to really get back to. I kinda would be happy just to get back into action and at least get back at those bastards in this universe, even if I can't do anything for the folks back home anymore."
"Well, I don't see you traveling through the gate anytime soon. Not at least until you get settled in around here. If you get some time, I would suggest maybe working out in the gym, it will help with the stress", she offered. She'd finished with the exam and handed him some aspirin and a cup of water, which he gratefully swallowed. She then settled in the chair next to him to let him talk out whatever was bothering him.
"Yeah, probably tonight, after I'm off duty", he said. "Right now, I'm kinda on call to see if I can fill in any information to that Daniel guy and Jack. "
Janet smiled, "Well, dealing with Col. O'Neill is enough to bring up anyone's stress levels."
"Actually, I was going to ask about Daniel. Does that guy ever stop talking?"
Janet laughed, "No, I'm afraid that's our Daniel. You get used to him."
Charlie finally smiled. It felt like he hadn't done that in a long time... In fact, he knew he hadn't smiled since the Goauld started their attack on his home world so many days ago. It was so good to just talk with someone, person to person.
"So, Major, my guess is you are not the archeology type, since you implied that Daniel's analysis doesn't fascinate you. What do you like?"
Charlie's gaze defocussed a little as he mentally went back to his old life, "Well, aside from watching a little TV, I really like to play softball. I'm in 2 different leagues in town, or, I mean... I was, but it's hard to make all the scheduled games since I'm offworld a lot of the time."
"That would make it a bit of a problem to get to the game on time. What position do you like to play?", she wanted to keep him talking, get the guy to open up a little. Maybe there was something on base that she could arrange for him to get more involved, to establish some relationships.
"Well, I used to love the outfield, but I'm just not as fast as I used to be. I started catching a couple of years ago. It's hell on the knees though."
She wanted to encourage him, so she continued the thread, "You know I'd love to go watch sometime, if you get into a league around here. I don't play very well, but I make a great fan."
"Thanks, Doc. I'll definitely let you know... if they ever let me off the dang base", he said. "Apparently, they still haven't decided if Sam and I are a security risk, or contagious or something."
"I'm sure that will happen soon enough. It's for your sanity was well as security. It's probably better for you to adjust in a more controlled environment. I haven't found anything medically to keep you here... at least not yet", she winked with a devilish smile.
"Are you threatening me, Doc?"
"Only if you are a difficult patient."
Charlie smiled, he was thinking maybe he'd be difficult just to stay there a bit longer and his thoughts drifted back for a moment about how fun it would be to play softball again, and his face suddenly fell with sadness.
"Major, what's wrong?", Janet asked.
"Oh, I was just thinking.... I used to belong to Big Brother, you know, the organization that pairs up adults with kids who need a father figure?"
Janet nodded.
"I had a kid assigned to me for the last couple of years, Devan. He used to come to my games, and I was teaching him to play so he could make his school team this year." He paused, not sure if he should say the rest, then decided he'd gone this far, he might as well open up, " I just realized how much I'm gonna miss him."
Janet felt a little choked up. This man had left behind so much. "Major..."
"Please, Doc, call me Charlie."
"OK, Charlie, you don't have to answer this, but would you mind telling my why, I mean, what made you come through that mirror?"
"Well Doc, I think you know that running away from the fight really isn't my thing. It's not. I came with Dr. Carter because I promised her husband that I'd keep her safe, nomatter what. I intend to follow through with that. I assume you know why she had to escape."
Janet nodded. She had the results of Sam's tests. "Her husband?", Janet was a bit curious on who that might be when she saw the wedding ring during the physical, but it hadn't been the right time to ask.
"Yeah, Jack. He made me promise, just before he lead the last defensive op, when the mountain was under attack. Sam and I saw him take a staff blast right to the chest. I had to drag her away from the fight or she'd be dead now too. "
"Jack...", Janet said softy. That was a shocker. She wouldn't have guessed. It took her a few seconds to let the information soak in.
"He was my best friend, Doc. I was best man at their wedding. I'd rather not be here, but as long as this is Sam's choice, I'm staying and trying to make the best of it."
"Well, Charlie. That makes you a good person to have as a friend. I don't envy the choice you had to make. I'm not sure I could."
"I'm still not sure either, Doc. But it's one day at a time right now."
They chatted a bit about Janet after that, Cassie, and her work at the SGC. Charlie hadn't really known the Doc all that well in his own universe. Apparently, Dr. Sheffield had been killed around the same time his alternate self had died, and that's when Janet became CMO at the SGC. He hadn't known Dr. Frasier in his reality, as she was only there occasionally. Sheffield seemed to be particularly abrupt with Charlie, and he normally tried to stay clear of the infirmary, as it wasn't one of his favorite places.
The oddest part of being in this similar universe was that he "kinda" knew these people, and they "kinda" knew him. It made starting up conversations with people like Jack just plain weird. He was able to tell Janet all about it, and she listened as a patient friend for the entire afternoon.
Their conversation came to an end when Charlie's stomach grumbled. He almost blushed in embarrassment, and Janet smiled. "Sorry, Doc. Guess it's supper time", he smiled. "I'd ask you out to dinner to thank you for wasting your afternoon listening to me, but I'm not allowed out yet."
"That's Ok, Charlie. I have to get home to my daughter on time tonight anyway, but I promise to take a raincheck on that. I never pass down an offer for dinner", she gave that cute, impish grin again.
"It's a deal, Doc"
"You know, Charlie, I think we're friends now. You can call me Janet."
"Sure will, *Doc*", it was time to start ribbing her. Yes, they were becoming friends. He started to get up to leave.
Janet smiled again. Kawalski was a good man, and she was glad she took the time to get to know him a bit. "If you need to talk some more, feel free to stop by anytime", Janet told him. She liked his company, and decided she really would like to chat with him again.
"No problem, Doc. You have a great night." And he walked out of the infirmary, his headache gone, and his heart a world lighter than it had been that morning.
**
Charlie stopped by to check on Sam. She was in Major Carter's lab and the two of them were deep in conversation about Stargate protocol stuff for the dialing program. He really did not want to be there, but he also really wanted to make sure Sam was OK.
"Uh, hi Sam, Major Carter." What *was* he supposed to call them, anyway?
They both looked up in unison. They reminded him of a couple of bookends, except one had short hair and the other's was long. He held back a wisecrack.
"Hey, Kawalski", Major Carter responded. Sam smiled at him.
"I was just wondering", no, he could not say he was checking up, "if Sam, uh, either of you might like to grab a bite to eat."
Sam smiled again, "No thanks, Charlie. I'll probably grab something a little later. We're right in the middle of this...". Her eyes shone with the familiar spark of Dr. Sam Carter on a mission to figure something out. Yep, she was OK.
He was just turning to leave when he literally bumped into Jack on the way out. "Hey, Kawalski."
"Hey, Jack."
"Settling in ok?", which was about as personal as Jack ever got.
"Yeah, it's getting better all the time", at which Jack nodded that he understood. It was a guy thing. Charlie turned down the hall and went to get a sandwich before his stomach spoke for him.
**
Jack hung around in the lab for a while. He picked up various instruments that looked only moderately breakable, and played with them as both Carters continued their discussion. Samantha was well aware of his presence, trying her best to ignore him by burying herself in the latest topic with the Major. In the course of the discussion, she forgot completely that the man standing there wasn't her husband, and settled into the chat, as if it was her old world again.
After a few minutes, he interrupted, "Can you *Carters* give it a break for a minute?", they looked up, apparently having forgotten that he was there. Samantha snapped back to reality, actually " alternate reality" she corrected herself, and felt her chest get heavy again with a wave of grief.
"Major, Doctor, I stopped by to see if you were both settling in alright, but I can see that there's no issue there. So, I think you should both consider giving it a rest for the evening. Dinner, anyone?"
"Thank you, Sir. No, Sir. I mean, well, Sir, we just wanted to finish this particular area of code and I think we can get our dial out sequence down by another 10 seconds."
"Arrghh! Ok. But please, make sure you both eat! We've got another long morning of catching up to do tomorrow, and I don't want you two passing out from lack of food."
"Actually, Jack", Samantha interrupted. "I think a little food would be a good thing. I've recently learned to appreciate having meals on a regular basis."
He was speechless for a second or two, as he remembered his conversation with Dr. Sam - was it only yesterday? He remembered how she was not like his Major, in that she needed the personal contact. Or maybe it was just personal contact with him. He tried to act as casual as he could, "Well, I see that I am finally getting through to at least one of you. Carter? Will you join us?".
The Major was slightly jealous for a moment. She kind of wanted to go with him as well. Spending time with the Colonel was, well, fun. But, by going with them now, she'd feel like she was intruding. "No, Sir. I wanted to clean this up by the end of the day. I'll see you both tomorrow."
"Very well, *Major*", he gave one of his slight smirks as he emphasized her title and made her smile. "Have a good night." And he and Dr. Carter headed down the hall. Back to index
Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Transitions **
Several days passed and gradually, the SGC settled back into it's normal routine. There had been enough odd occurrences at the base over the last 3 years that this particular one seemed almost minor in comparison. Most members of the complex seemed to accept its two newest members as simply new personnel.
Major Carter felt she was taking the new changes pretty much in stride. She saw "Samantha" as a new colleague. The differences between them, physical likeness aside, were significant enough for Sam to view the woman as more of a sister, or twin, albeit a distant one. Samantha was not very forthcoming with her, outside of their technical discussions. Apparently, Samantha felt that their life choices were somewhat of a barrier. Sam felt that it was just as well. She was not comfortable talking about any personal issues with the woman, it was just too weird right now.
Each day, for the past three weeks, SG-1, along with Major Kawalski and Dr. Carter, started their morning covering mission reports, to gain knowledge of the realities' differences. There was a lot of overlap, but even the missions that were common to both teams were covered in detail, to see if anything new could be found.
There were several missions for the "local" SG-1 that did not have corresponding events for the SGA team. Daniel seemed to feel that it was an important factor in the differences. One of the most significant, was the contact with the Ancient database, where Col. O'Neill made contact with the Asgard.
There were other differences due to having Teal'c on the mission. Notably, the experience on Cimmeria and meeting the Unas. Again, Asgard involvement, which the remote SGA team missed. Also, since Samantha had not been offworld for many missions, she never was host to Jolinar, and the SGA never met the Tok'ra. As a result, Samantha's father died of cancer nearly a year ago. The most important difference, however, turned out to be when Daniel stumbled upon the Quantum mirror and discovered Apophis' attack plans.
Each afternoon, Sam spent time with Samantha, discussing anything and everything technical related to the morning's discussion. Sam found that Samantha had made a great deal of progress on several discoveries, including using Naquadah as a power source. It was a direct result of her not being in a field unit, spending most of her time in the lab instead.
They were nearing the end of their assignment on mission comparisons, and Sam was looking forward to getting back to her offworld missions, when she was summoned to General Hammond's office.
"Sit down, Major", he started, "How are things going with our new arrivals?"
"Fine, Sir. There's actually a lot for Samantha and I to learn from each other", Sam responded enthusiastically.
"That's good. I take it you are getting along well?"
"Yes, Sir. We seem to work together very well."
"I would imagine so", he smiled. "There aren't many that can keep up with the two of you in most areas."
"Maybe not, Sir. But it does make it easier when someone is following your exact train of thought", she smiled.
"That's good. How far along are you on comparing notes?"
"We still have a ways to go, Sir. Samantha has spent a lot more time in the lab studying offworld devices. Also, her teams have brought back more pieces of technology to study than we have. I believe Col. O'Neill was going to submit a list of planets in our reality to check out where they found some interesting objects."
"Indeed, he has, and I have approved several for reconnaissance already," the general agreed.
"Great, Sir! I'm looking forward to getting back offworld to check them out", Sam brightened at the thought.
"That's what I've called you here to talk about, Major." General Hammond frowned slightly. "I'd like you to continue to work with Dr. Carter for the time being, here on the base."
Sam felt an ice cold shudder pass through her, she got the intense feeling that she was not going to like his next words. But she said nothing, waiting for the General to continue.
"As you know, I have to figure out how to handle our new people, and after some careful thought, I've decided to assign Major Kawalski to SG-1 and have you continue to work with Dr. Carter."
"But Sir!" Sam started to interrupt. She outwardly was trying to remain calm, but inside, she felt a small amount of panic.
"Hear me out, Major." General Hammond understood that she wouldn't see this as good news, but there were very unusual circumstances that led him to this decision. "I'm sorry, but after careful consideration, I strongly feel that this move, which I want to stress as temporary, is the best choice for the SGC at this time."
Sam sat in shock. Hammond hoped that he could smooth it over. Regardless, he knew Major Carter would do her duty and follow the new orders without complaint. He just hoped she wasn't too unhappy about it.
"Sam", he continued, "I need to get these people to fit in. I knew it didn't sit right when the decision was made to let them stay, but now they are here and there are some adjustments we have to make to help them contribute their best to this base."
"I understand, Sir. I'm just not sure why I'm being removed from my team." There was a small amount of pleading in her voice. It was as close to upset as Hammond ever saw her.
"Major, this will only be temporary. Major Kawalski was leader of SG-2 in his home reality. I can't put him in a leadership role here, not without knowing him. Col O'Neill is the person who best knew him here, and is the best person to evaluate his performance in the field. Also, Kawalski has direct experience with the worlds that we've just approved, since he's already been to most of them in his reality.
"Once we gain some measure of confidence in Major Kawalski, then I can reassign him to another team in an appropriate role. I had to move one person off of SG-1 to do that. You were the best choice because I need to get Dr. Carter's information in sync with ours. There is nobody who can do that as quickly or thoroughly as you."
Sam heard the words, they made sense, logically, but it was still a blow.
"Did Col. O'Neill agree, Sir?", she had to know.
"Yes, he did, Major. He wasn't entirely thrilled with this decision either, but, he understands and is ready to move forward."
"Is that all, Sir?", she wanted to get out of there, talk to the Colonel, do something. Hammond could tell she was upset, but there was nothing else he could really say.
"Yes, Major. You're dismissed", he tried to look as understanding as he could, but he knew she wasn't seeing it, not now anyway. She would, eventually, understand. She stiffly got up and walked out.
**
Sam hurried down the hallway. She had to talk to the Colonel. He *had* to do something, anything. Why couldn't SG-1 go to 5 people, at least temporarily? She was furious. She'd done everything to accept these alternate selves, and now, she couldn't help but feel that she was somehow being punished.
She got to Col. O'Neill's office and heard him talking to someone. She waited impatiently out in the hallway. When the door opened, her mood worsened, if that were possible.
Samantha opened the door and emerged, saying, "Thanks, Jack", and she was smiling! Sam gritted her teeth and gave the woman a curt nod as they passed in the hall. Samantha was oblivious, however, and continued to smile as she walked away.
Sam gritted her teeth and knocked on the door.
"C'min", she heard, his voice annoyingly cheerful.
"Major!", he greeted her, obviously in a good mood. 'What were they talking about?', she wondered. "What can I do for you?"
"Sir, I just spoke with General Hammond...", she began. His smile faded instantaneously.
His good mood visibly vanished, "Carter, I'm sorry."
"I just want to know, Sir, if there is some reason why I am no longer on your team", she said, a little harshly.
"Sam, I think the General should have explained the situation to you."
"He did, Sir, but I wanted to hear it from you. Did I do something to disappoint you, Sir."
"Carter", he paused. No, she hadn't. Yes, he could have fought harder to keep her on his team, but truthfully, the whole alternate Sam thing was still something he was getting used to. Nobody really knew about alternate him being married to the alternate Carter, yet. It was going to come out eventually. Now wasn't the right time. He didn't know when it would be, but if Kawalski said anything on a mission, it could be a problem. He didn't want that kind of distraction.
Her stiff stance was so uncharacteristic, and he could tell that she was hurt. Here was his Carter, who had done nothing but welcome and accept these interlopers, and she was the one getting the short end of the stick. It wasn't fair.
"Sam", his voice softened, "this was the General's call. It's the right thing and you know it. I'm sorry, but I promise you it will work out. Please just work with me here."
She looked at him and saw that he was troubled. There was more to the explanation, she could tell, but she did trust him.
"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry for bothering you, Sir", she started to turn to leave.
"Sam, wait", he stopped her. It was the second time he called her by her first name. It must be serious. She turned back to him. "It's not you, please believe me. If I knew how to explain..."
'So', she thought, 'there *is* something more'. She just looked at him. He looked really, really confused. He wanted to tell her, but he didn't know what to say. She almost smiled. "It's okay, Sir. Let's just get this over with so we can get back to normal."
He breathed a sigh of relief. She'd let him off the hook. "Thanks, Carter. " He realized why he'd been in a good mood a few minutes ago and added, "Hey, what d'ya say about getting together for a team night tomorrow? It is the weekend... we can try to get these guys settled in sooner, now that they're allowed off base."
"That would be great, Sir. Your place?" She was only half-hearted about hanging around with her new co-workers right now, but she was in favor of anything to get this "temporary" reassignment over with.
"1800. Pizza, movie, beer. Usual stuff."
"Sounds great, Sir. I'll be there" Back to index
Chapter 4: Chapter 4 Chapter Four : Settling in **
Samantha, as she now was calling herself to separate from "Major Carter", felt better than she had in weeks. It had been a long few days, all work and no play. Worse, she had had almost no contact with Jack, except for formal meetings. She had been confined to the base, for both medical and security reasons, but now, she and Charlie were allowed some time outside for the weekend. They might even be able to move to apartments off base in a month or so. Best yet, Jack had invited them to his house for a night out tomorrow.
She knew he wasn't her husband. The logic of the situation was quite clear, but she couldn't deny that she wanted to hang around him anyway. This whole time, after she'd had that good cry on him and he'd found out about their marriage in her reality, he'd been getting more distant. She knew he was trying to figure it out, and he needed space. But at the same time, she felt him being protective of her, especially when they got to sensitive parts of the mission reports. She probably needed to stay away from the man, but at the same time, she craved his presence.
She was tired of crying every night. Tired of looking at the same walls of her little room. Tired of work and tired of comparing every little thing to her home. It was time to try to move on a bit, and getting out of the SGC and having a "fun" night would be good for her.
She also needed to start trusting her new team members. Daniel was very nice and she felt comfortable with him almost right away. He was the mediator of the group, the calm voice of reason. She liked that about him. Teal'c, she was still uncomfortable around, but in the same manner as she started seeing Major Carter, well, Sam, as more of a twin than an alternate self, she was starting to see the Jaffa was also not the same man who she had seen on the other side of the mirror.
So, when she just talked with Jack this afternoon, it felt good. It seemed like he was figuring out how to work with the odd situation. She was hoping they could get some time to talk it out off base, for both their sanities. He certainly would not want to get into discussing the "marriage" thing on base anyway. Eventually, she did want to work all those issues out.
**
Charlie Kawalski was climbing the proverbial walls. He was bored out of his mind all week on the base with little to do but work out and wander the halls. Eventually, he figured he'd help Siler with some of the 'gate work, but for now, he was restricted from working on anything too interrelated with the base infrastructure.
Getting news from General Hammond about his new assignment was the best thing that could have happened to him. He couldn't wait to tell Janet. He was allowed off base tonight and tomorrow and he owed that pretty lady a dinner.
He stopped short on his way to the infirmary. He just realized he had no money for a dinner or anything else. The payroll thing was coming, but he didn't have anything yet. Maybe he could borrow a bit from Jack until that came about.
He found Jack in his office, "Hey Jack, how's it going?"
"Kawalski." Jack acknowledged, but didn't encourage the guy. It wasn't that he didn't like the alternate version of his friend. But, at this particular moment, the guy had that same look on his face that the original Kawalski used to get when he was up to something and after dealing with a couple of Carters and such, he wasn't in the mood.
"I know this is unusual, but, first, thanks for having me on your team."
"It was the General's idea, Kawalski, I didn't have a choice."
Charlie wasn't deterred in the least. This was the same old Jack. "Awww, c'mon, Jack, we'll have a great time."
"I'm sure we will. Just don't make me shoot you."
Charlie grinned again. "I'm sorry to ask you for a favor so soon, but, they haven't gotten the payroll thing worked out yet for me. Can I borrow a couple 'o bucks for tonight?"
"Tonight? What do you need it for so soon, if you don't mind me asking?", Charlie was always up to something, at least the old one was. If there was any similarity, Jack wanted to keep tabs on him, at least for a little while.
"I'm hoping to have a date". Grin.
Jack's jaw dropped. "You've only been here 3 weeks!"
"You've got to understand my charm, Jack."
"I do. That's what has me concerned." He paused, then his curiosity got the best of him. "Who did you rope in?"
"Classified. I gotta protect the lady's reputation. Can I have the loan, Dad, pleeeeese?" Another foolish grin.
"Yeah, ok...", Jack grumbled as he pulled out his wallet. "But I expect to be paid back, in FULL."
"No problem, boss." Another grin. Jack briefly wondered why he'd missed this guy.
Charlie walked away, hearing Jack complain, "...and I don't want to hear any stories on Monday about what you did, you hear me?? Behave yourself!"
"Sure, Dad", he shot back. Charlie smiled again and felt like life was finally looking up.
**
Charlie walked down to see if his Sam was alright before he went out. They'd been cooped up all week. He and Sam watched a little TV together in the evenings and he was sure she was getting sick of his company. He'd stay with her as long as she needed him, but he had to give her some space. He was making new friends here because he had some spare time. It was up to her to do the same.
She'd given him her blessing on going out. She was just going to stay in and read. She was looking forward to spending tomorrow outside, bright and early, so he was free to hang out with his Doc, if she'd have him.
He trotted to the infirmary, his smile a mile wide. "Hey, Doc!"
"Charlie, how are you today?" Janet was just checking the chart on her latest patient, a member of SG-11 with a broken arm. The patient was resting comfortably and would be all set for the night shift. She turned to her visitor.
"I'm doin' great, Doc. They're letting me out for a bit and I was just thinking that I owed you a dinner for being so nice to me. I was wondering...", he started to feel just a bit shy and stammered, "if you were free tonight..."
Janet smiled. He was cute. She wondered if she should agree or not, but his awkwardness appealed to her soft spot. "Well, if I can get someone to watch my daughter, I think that can be arranged."
**
The date went well, in Charlie's opinion. Though it wasn't really a date, since he did "owe" her the dinner. Also, it wasn't quite exactly romantic, since Janet had to drive him back to the base after, because he didn't have a car yet. But all in all, they had fun. Charlie couldn't figure out how he'd never gotten to know the Janet in his universe before this.
Despite the bad reputation he liked to say he had, Charles Kawalski was very much a gentleman. After dinner, they settled for a walk in the park and just talked for the entire evening. He got so far as to hold her hand while they looked at the stars and marveled about the size of the galaxy.
Janet told him about how they'd found Cassie and her subsequent adoption of the little girl. Her failed marriage, and lack of relationships due to her work at the SGC.
Charlie filled in about his past, albeit reluctantly. He had not one but two failed marriages, and he wasn't proud of it. Marriage number one, he and his wife had been far too young, he told her. They were teenagers and were infatuated with each other, only to find out that, after a couple of years, they had grown into very different people. His second marriage was better, but his wife had 2 young children from a previous marriage, and found that moving around as a military wife was too difficult for her, especially when Charlie was away for weeks at a time on missions.
"At least they didn't beat you", Janet said softly, embarrassed as soon as the words left her lips.
"What?", Charlie stopped short. "Are you saying...."
"I don't talk about it to very many people", she responded, looking down. "It's pretty embarrassing."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Someone was willing to hurt this calm, capable, smart, and kind Doctor. There was only one response for him, "Infuriating is the word I'm thinking of. "
"Well, I try not to think of it. It was a long time ago." She was obviously embarrassed about bringing it up, and he wanted to prod her for more information, but it wasn't the right time. He decided she'd speak about it when she was ready. For now, she was his friend, and he felt protective of her. Burdens were easier to bear with friends.
For now, he just took her hand and they walked on, looking at the stars.
**
Samantha watched Charlie leave for the evening, with a definite bounce in his step. He'd told her about going out to dinner with Dr. Frasier, and she was happy for him. He seemed to be fitting in well. It was good to see a little happiness for at least one of them.
She wandered back to the lab. Major Carter had left for the evening, to watch the Doctor's daughter, Cassandra. Samantha was still new to the SGC, so she really didn't have anything to work on that was all her own yet. She glanced around the lab. It was so familiar, but not hers.
While she was happy Charlie was getting a life, she was almost sorry that she told him it was ok to go, because now all she had were her own thoughts for the evening. Charlie was quick to make new friends, and reestablish bonds he'd had with former teammates. She wasn't so lucky. She'd been hiding in work, and basically only associated with Major Carter, and then, only professionally. Without her one friend around, she started feeling very alone.
She wandered the halls and eventually found Daniel and Teal'c, hanging out in Daniel's office. The place was a mess of artifacts and books and Daniel looked remarkably comfortable in there. He was babbling on about some markings on a piece of pottery to Teal'c, who was patiently waiting him out.
"Welcome, DoctorCarter", Teal'c interrupted Daniel's theory to invite her in. Did he look relieved at the interruption? His face was so impassive, it was difficult to tell.
"Oh, hi, Sam", Daniel looked up, realizing she was there.
She nodded, shyly. "It's Samantha. Major Carter and I figured she can go by Sam and I'll be Samantha, to make it easier to tell us apart. "
"Good idea", Daniel's attention moved from his artifact and to his new visitor. "How are you and Sam settling in?"
"We're trying to figure out how to share the lab space right now. But it's working out well. She's very nice. "
"Yes, she is", he said, as Teal'c nodded in agreement.
"Everyone keeps asking me how I am. It's getting a little tired, I suppose." She appreciated their concern, but while she'd suffered an emotional trauma, she needed to let people know that she wasn't about to break like a china doll. Time to change the subject. "I guess I'd like to know how you all are doing with us here?"
"We're getting used to it", Daniel smiled. "It's not like you are a difficult person to get along with, you know."
"Indeed", Teal'c agreed, "Major Carter has told me that you are an excellent person to work with and she appreciates your contributions."
"Thanks, I guess. I do want to fit in, but I suppose, getting to know you all will take some time."
"I am sure you will become an integral part of this base, Dr. Carter. I was pleased to have been welcomed by the people of this world so quickly. Of course, it is helpful that we are all united in a common cause."
"Of course", she was amazed at how the Jaffa, though he spoke rarely, always had something meaningful. She spent the rest of the evening learning more about her new teammates. In a way, talking to them was easier than talking to many of the others on base. These were people she didn't know in her world, so she had much to learn about them. It was less strange than striking up a new conversation with someone she already thought she knew.
**
Saturday dawned cloudy and cold. Samantha got a ride into town and bought herself some new clothes, so she could have something nice to wear for the gathering that evening. A couple of sweaters, jeans (she hated wearing fatigues!), and a warm coat for the oncoming winter. She wandered around town, window shopping for much of the day, since she didn't have a lot of money to spend, just what she'd borrowed from Daniel. She was simply glad to be outside to see an undamaged world.
As she wandered down the street, lost in thought, the weather changed quickly for the worse. A cold drizzle of rain started coming down. At first, she was so distracted by her reverie that she didn't notice. Her raincoat seemed to be enough. As the rain started to rapidly increase, she was jolted from her thoughts, and decided to hurry to seek someplace dry. Unfortunately, there was nothing resembling shelter for a few blocks, and there was no question she was going to be soaked by the time she reached the nearest storefronts.
As she was hurrying down to the nearest coffee shop, she literally ran into Jack as he was leaving a liquor store with a couple of cases of beer for the party. Their collision was almost comical, as her shopping bags flew into the nearest puddle, she was tossed into another, landing squarely on her backside making a small splash. She was drenched. As she got up, she could feel the water sloshing inside her pants. Ugh.
Jack, not knowing who had just plowed into him, appeared off balance, but relatively undamaged. He quickly put down his packages, and reached down to help the person who'd just initiated the spectacular mess. "Hey, are you alright?"
He watched the woman reach up to take his helping hand. As she moved the long, wet strands of blond hair out of her face, he looked down into big blue eyes. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. The recognition and surprise in her expression matched his own.
"Hey! Sam!"
"Jack.... I am so sorry!", she stammered as she got to her feet, looking to retrieve her soggy packages. What a massive understatement, she thought, as her embarrassment started to overcome her.
"What are you doing out here?" He motioned to her bags, also drenched. She was shivering.
"They dropped me off over at the mall, but I just wanted to be outside walking. I didn't realize it was quite so...rainy", she shivered as she spoke.
"Sick of being underground, huh?"
"Yeah, pretty much. I was getting a little stir-crazy."
He nodded in understanding. They stood staring at each other for a few seconds, not quite sure how to handle the situation. Jack quickly recovered, realizing that this person was in need of some assistance. She was cold and drenched, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with her. This was that universe thing messing with him again. No, it took more than one universe to come up with this particular situation. He was feeling just a little outnumbered. He quickly came up with the only solution befitting a friend.
"Do you have a ride?"
She gave a negative shake to her head, teeth chattering a bit.
He decided to give into the universes and loaded her bags into his truck. "Hop in. You can hang out at my place 'til the party starts."
It wasn't anything major, it was a ride from a co-worker or a friend, her head tried to reason. Something any normal human would do for another in need. But, her heart jumped a little at the thought of being with him, at his house. Their house. Was it the same? She was a little nervous about finding out, but she was too cold and soggy to care. She decided totry to focus on simply getting herself warm and dry.
**
They got to Jack's and she stood dripping in the entryway.
"Do you have something dry to change into?", he asked.
She checked the bags, her new clothes were pretty soggy. "Nope, do you have a place where I can hang these? I was hoping to have something besides fatigues to wear at the party."
He motioned near the fireplace. "I think I'll be lighting that shortly to get the chill out of here. Let's see if I can find you something else for now. You can throw anything that won't shrink into the dryer."
He returned with some sweatpants, a t-shirt and dry socks. "Here, why don't you change into these while I light the fire."
It was so unreal, being there, just like she was home again with her husband. She fought down the little sob in her chest and went to the bathroom to change, and try not to think too much. It was extra hard, as she tugged his t-shirt over her head, to not get lost in the fantasy that she was really home, and everything was alright again.
She emerged, feeling much warmer and drier. Her wet clothing now tumbling in the drier. She briefly wondered if Jack noticed that he didn't have to direct her to where it was located. Jack turned from the fireplace and grinned at her in his oversized clothes, "Feeling better?", he asked.
"Yes, thank you. Is there anything I can do to help you get set up for this evening?"
"Nope, all set", he looked proud of himself. "I already cleaned the bathroom and got my laundry done. Got the beer. I'll order the pizza after everyone is here."
"That's all? Beer and pizza?"
"Well...", he looked down at the floor, abashed, "that's what I usually do." Pause. "Maybe I could get an order of chicken wings too". He looked up, seeking approval.
She smiled inwardly at the pitifulness of the male mindset and switched into another role, instantaneously. "Jack, that is not how you treat guests."
"But... I do", he stammered.
"At least add some munchies, a few veggies and dip, salsa and chips. You can't live off pizza all the time."
"But... I do... really!"
"I know." She did. Really. The man considered beer to be a food group. "You are going to the grocery to pick up a couple of things.", she commanded. She looked at the dishes in the sink, how the furniture was arranged and had some ideas. "I'll take care of setting up here."
As soon as he was gone, she moved the furniture so that it was better for folks to converse. A candle here and there, throw pillows fluffed. She found an old afghan in the closet, and draped it over the couch, to make the room seem more welcoming.
He walked back in, shaking off drops of rain, and looked at his living room. "Whoa", his jaw dropped. "That looks great."
"Thanks", she smiled, and his mouth snapped shut as he stared at her. It was a beautiful, natural smile that made her eyes sparkle. She was actually content, at least for the moment. Jack couldn't help noticing, and realized it was the first time he'd seen this particular Carter appear to be happy.
She was lost in the moment, and he didn't have the heart to interrupt her. She trotted over, grabbed the grocery bags and got to work cutting up celery and carrots, and had a great time ordering Jack to put out dip and such. She finished, put the trays out on the coffee table, and realized it was almost time for their guests to arrive.
"I hope everything is dry... she grabbed her sweater and jeans from the chair near the fire." and raced into the bathroom to change. She walked out, looking great, Jack noted, just as the doorbell rang.
**
After a few beers, and chicken quesadilla and salsa dip....
"Jack, you outdid yourself this time", Daniel noted, as they finished their meal. "I didn't think you had it in you."
"I don't. You can thank Samantha here", he emphasized the word Samantha, as he looked at her and smiled.
She looked away and blushed slightly, she was cuddled up in the corner of the couch, with a glass of water, looking as comfortable as if she lived there. Sam looked between Samantha and Jack, confused.
Jack felt the need to explain. "I found her in the rain downtown and she came back here early and helped me set up. Couldn't leave her out there to catch cold, after all."
"Out in the rain, on a day like today?", Daniel asked.
"I just needed to get outside for a bit. I've been trapped underground for too long."
"Aw, Sam, you should have told me. I would have driven you around or something." Charlie offered. "I was able to borrow a car for today."
"It's ok, really. It worked out great."
"Yeah, but Jack would never forgive me if I didn't take care of you over here."
Jack's head shot up, looking at Charlie. Samantha's eyes went wide. Reality hit her. She'd gotten lost in a fantasy being here, in this house, with him all afternoon, cozy fire, preparing for a party. She *forgot* it wasn't her home, it wasn't her life! The look of mortified shock on her face drew everyone's attention to what had seemed like an innocent comment.
Daniel, surprised that the statement would seem so shocking, had to ask, "Did I miss something here?"
Charlie realized his mistake and cursed to himself. Things had seemed so comfortable and he knew he'd messed it all up.
"Kawalski, did anyone ever tell you that you have a big mouth?", Jack barked.
"It's ok, Jack", Samantha said sadly. "Everyone needed to find out at some time. Now is as good as any." She paused, and looked sadly at all the faces staring at her. "I didn't want to say anything yet, because it seemed to make people uncomfortable", she glanced at Jack. "I was married to Jack O'Neill in my reality." She gulped down the last of her drink and stared at the glass.
Daniel's mouth dropped into his characteristic "Oh", looking like a goldfish. Sam's eyes widened a bit in shock. Teal'c raised an eyebrow slightly.
"I hope you're not upset I didn't say anything. I just... well, it was hard enough to deal with meeting everyone again, and this just made it even more strange."
Jack stood by her, put his hand on her shoulder, he'd been thinking about the whole thing for 3 weeks, and had come to the conclusion that he would deal with it. The woman needed a friend, if anything, and the least he could do was try. She was just as smart and likable as his Carter, she just was a little more emotional, and, as he found out today, a better cook.
Which gave him an out to change the awkward subject.
"Well, I'm sure there are plenty of other differences that are going to come up as we get to know you guys better, and the other way around. " He took a drink of his beer. "For example, how did you learn how to cook? Carter claims she can't even boil water."
"Now that's not true... I make a mean cookie", Carter interrupted. "but, not much else. How did you learn to cook?", she turned to Samantha.
"It's not really cooking. I learned to throw things together for quick meals in grad school. My roommates and I took turns doing dinner and I picked up a couple of ideas from them."
"Sounds like one of those military/not-military differences", Daniel noted.
"Hmmph", Sam said as she took a sip of beer. She wasn't sure she liked how this topic was going.
The conversation rolled onto other things. Daniel got tipsy. Sam found herself pulling more and more out of the conversation. The news of her alternate self being married to Jack was a bit disturbing. She spent much of the evening watching the interaction between Samantha and Jack, trying to figure out where this all was going. Was she jealous? No, couldn't be, there was nothing to be jealous about, was there? She was attracted to him, yes, she knew she found him attractive since the day they first met, but she really hadn't any reason whatsoever to feel possessive or jealous. Mostly, she was certain it was just weird.
It became a very long night for Samantha. After the initial issue of telling everyone, she relaxed again, but not as much as before. She was grateful when the evening came to an end. She started to help clean up, and Jack stopped her. "Sam, you've done enough helping to prepare. I'll take care of this... Kawalski looks like he's ready to head back to the base, and you're looking pretty tired too."
"It's not me, Jack", Kawalski grumbled in jest, "Teal'c here is the one with the early bedtime."
"That is not correct, Major Kawalski...", Teal'c started to say.
"He's kidding, Teal'c", Jack filled him in. "Sam, you taking Danny-boy home?"
"I can drop him off on the way", Kawalski happily volunteered. "Suit up everybody, bus leaves in five."
Coats and umbrellas were donned, as the group headed out. Sam stayed behind. "I'll help you clean up, Sir. It's the least I can do since Samantha did all the cooking."
"Thanks, Carter. See you all the rest of you on Monday!", as he headed to the sink, hands full of empty glasses.
Sam grabbed the last of the stuff from the coffee table and followed him into the kitchen. She was uncharacteristically quiet.
"So", he said.
"So", she said.
"What's on your mind, Carter? You've been quiet all night. "
"Nothing. Ok, something, but it doesn't matter. It's just so weird having a twin. Just when I think I'm getting used to it, something new comes along."
"Yeah, well, the 'married' thing is a biggie."
"Yep."
The fact that she didn't really expand on that made Jack a little concerned. It wasn't like Carter to not keep talking. They continued washing dishes together.
They finished up and she grabbed her coat. "See you Monday, Sir."
He decided to try one more time to get her to talk. "You know, Carter, I'm not you're CO right now. You can call me Jack off-duty...."
She didn't say anything, really. Just grunted, and hurriedly said "Good night" as she ducked out the door.
Jack sat down and opened another beer, and gave a heavy sigh. Two Carters were going to drive him nuts. Back to index
Chapter 5: Chapter5: New Beginnings Author's Notes: Hope you are all still reading. Please let me know if it's still good! Happy Thanksgiving.
* * * * *
Another week went by, then two. Samantha Carter finally started to settle into her own place in the SGC. She moved out of Sam's lab into the bigger central lab with the other techs and scientists. She was remarkably comfortable working in a team lab environment, instructing other scientists, ruling the roost. "Major" Sam maintained her own lab and her own projects, and was more comfortable working on her own.
It made things easier, that they had different work styles. Samantha was more at ease with the scientists working in the main lab, rather than the military, so she quickly became friendlier with her co-workers. Sam's contact with her twin gradually dwindled to being no different from her contact with anyone else in the lab. Both felt grateful to find that they didn't have to be in direct contact, each seeing unwelcome similarities and differences.
Sam was initially glad to have her lab back to herself. As Samantha settled into her new role, she decided it was time to check with General Hammond on maybe moving back to a more active status.
Unfortunately, SG-1 was still out of her future. She was assigned to SG-11 for the time being. Their lead and technical expert broke his arm on a mission 2 weeks earlier, and wouldn't be able to return to duty for at least a month, possible never, as the break was bad enough to cause some permanent mobility problems. The General had thought she'd be thrilled to be assigned a lead position, even if it was for a science team, but her enthusiasm was lukewarm.
In any case, Sam was glad to be back on active status, and started hanging around with her new team. She withdrew from hanging around SG-1 for a couple of reasons. First, she was jealous that they were getting on so well without her, and second, Samantha, being so close with Kawalski, was always there too. Not to mention, she had the easy excuse of having a different schedule than her old team did.
Col O'Neill still stopped by to bother her in her lab, though not as often. She missed him. She noticed that he started to go to the main lab to visit Samantha too. Again, she noticed it felt a lot like she was jealous, and fought the feeling down. Samantha was no different than anyone else on base, just a friend, she convinced herself. But she couldn't get the image out of her head of how cozy Samantha looked in Jack's house. Did she just call him Jack? No, it's Col O'Neill, though he did say it was ok to call him Jack while off-duty.
"Earth to Carter", Jack's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Whatch'ya doin'?"
She was glad it was him. He came to see her, even though he didn't really have to anymore.
"Hi, Sir. I'm just testing device we got back from P3X-589. It's kind of a remote control for possibly the DHD, but I don't know for sure".
"Carter, it's Friday. Let it go. Go home. Go out. Have some fun."
"This is fun, Sir", she gave her usual response.
"Somehow I don't believe you this time." No response, so he tried again. "Carter, we haven't seen you all week." By "we", he meant, himself.
"I've been busy, Sir. "
"Got any plans for the weekend?"
"Not really, Sir. I have plans to hang out with Cassie tomorrow while Janet goes out with her mystery boyfriend."
"Mystery boyfriend?"
"She won't say who, says he's 'just a friend'. "
"Uh huh", he looked thoughtful for a second. Then piped up. "Are you sure you aren't willing to put that down for the day?"
"I'm sure, Sir. I just want to get this finished so I can go to my brother's for Thanksgiving next week. "
"Ahh. Is Dad dropping by?"
"I don't know yet, Sir. I'm hoping, but probably won't find out till last minute."
"Well, if you change your mind about getting out tonight, I'm just going to be hanging out in front of the TV with a beer. "
And he left. No further explanation. She dropped the device as it dawned on her. Was that a kind of asking if she wanted to spend the evening with him? No. No. She shook her head.
Try as she might, there was no way she was going to concentrate on her latest toy.
**
Sam went home and continued to think about Jack's suggestion that he was interested in doing something with her that evening. She was convinced she was reading way too much into this. He was no longer her CO, so the impropriety was gone, but she really wanted to be back on SG-1, and she was reluctant to do anything that might be viewed as improper.
The more she thought about it, though, the more she did start to realize that yes, she was attracted to him. Even as stubborn and aggravating as he could be at times, he had charm, he had a great sense of humor. It worked in another reality. She was sorely tempted to give him a call and go out, even just for a little while, even if he only meant it as a "friends-only" kind of gesture.
In the end, she chickened out and went to bed early. She had a full day planned with Cassie and wanted to get some rest while she could. She was also planning on getting some intel on Janet's new "friend".
**
Jack wasn't sure why he'd asked Carter to go out that night. He went home and did something he hated to do. He thought about it. It made his head hurt. There was nothing even interesting on TV to take his mind off the whole situation.
He was actually a little nervous that she might really come by and by 9 pm, he found himself more than a little disappointed that she didn't.
He jumped when the phone rang.
"Hello?", and immediately thought 'Oh, God, what if it's her?'
"Hi, Jack?"
"Carter?"
"Yes and no, actually, it's Samantha."
"Oh, yeah, hiya Sam. What's up?", he wasn't sure he wanted to ask that, but it accidentally came out.
"Well, I was hoping to ask a favor of you this weekend."
"I guess so. Uh... sure, what?"
"Charlie and I have permission to move off the base and I was hoping you could go apartment hunting with me. I, uh, still don't have a car."
"Oh, uh, Sam, I don't know...", he stammered, not sure he wanted to do that, and quickly scrambling for an alternative, "Wouldn't you and Kawalski be better off going together?"
"Actually, he's already found a place. He's condo-sitting for one of the guys in NORAD who's been stationed out of the country for the next 6 months. He actually offered me the place first, but, it's kind of a mess. Charlie can't drive me because he's doing some clean up on the place this weekend. "
Jack paused, and sighed inwardly. He didn't want to do it, being around Samantha was still, well, weird, but he really couldn't come up with a good excuse to get out of it. Reluctantly, he agreed, "Yeah, sure. I'll pick you up around 10?"
"Thanks, Jack. I really appreciate it."
Jack hung up and thought again about how different this Samantha was from his Carter. His Carter. Funny he thought of her that way. Carter would likely avoid asking for help from anyone, just to avoid the appearance that she needed anyone. In a way, he thought it was nice to have a Sam needing him.
**
Saturday was cold and clear. Charlie Kawalski hauled Janet Fraiser up the stairs to his townhouse. "Janet, I am so gonna need your help here."
"It looks nice from the outside", she said tentatively. It really was cute. I little 3 story building tucked amidst a row of similar structures, all painted in annoyingly cheerful colors.
"You haven't seen what he hasn't done with the place, Jan."
"That bad?", she asked.
"Think the ultimate in bachelor decor. It's obvious why he got it so cheap. He only moved in a couple of months ago, and hasn't had time to fix anything yet."
He opened the door.
"Oh, my...", she started.
The first floor contained a living room and kitchen. There was no real furniture. The TV sat on pair of concrete blocks, with a board between them. The "couch" was a foam fold out mattress, and a bean bag chair sat in the corner. The walls had brown striped wallpaper, straight out of the 70's, and the worn out rug looked like it was from the same era. What wasn't just poorly decorated, looked ragged, dark and dingy. In short, it was the ugliest room she'd ever seen.
"Yeah, you see what I mean", he chuckled. "I offered the place to Sam and she turned it down, flat."
"I can see why. And I can see why he's letting you stay here for free."
"You think this is bad, you should see the bedroom", he didn't even waggle his eyebrows in jest, like she expected. He was serious.
"Maybe later", she turned back to the room.
"Phil says I can do whatever work to the place I want. He even offered to cover the cost of materials. I am hoping maybe you could give me some ideas for furniture or something just to make it livable for now."
"How do you feel about tackling that wallpaper?"
"You mean it, Janet? You'll help?"
She nodded. "I couldn't leave a friend to this all alone. Let's get some supplies, and I need to stop by home to grab my work clothes."
"Aw, Doc. You are the greatest!", and he pulled her into a big hug.
**
Jack was surprised that he and Samantha actually had a good time during the apartment search. She had the same evil sense of humor as Carter, and some of the apartment managers they met made for a target-rich environment.
After a full Saturday afternoon of apartment hopping, Samantha had found two places that were worth seriously considering. She was planning on going back tomorrow and putting down a deposit on one of them. They decided to break for an early dinner. "My treat, for going out of your way for me today", she offered.
"No, I better not." he responded,"I've got some chores to do around my place before winter seriously sets in. " Dinner sounded great, but he really did have to clean up the yard or it would be ugly in the spring.
"How about tomorrow, then? I'll even attempt to cook again, if you're feeling daring."
"Well, it depends on what you're thinking of cooking...", he goaded just a bit.
"I haven't decided on the main meal, but we could have cake for dessert", she offered.
"Cake?", he brightened up noticeably, and she thought he was adorable. "In that case, how could I say no?"
"It's a date then."
**
Major Sam Carter did something she never thought she'd do on a Sunday. She spent her afternoon in a cooking class at the local William-Sonoma store. Of course, she figured, the class was to promote buying their cookware, but she got a couple of good ideas out of the time anyway.
She's not sure what inspired her to do that, other than, well, it really bothered her that Samantha could do something that she couldn't. She figured a little cooking class couldn't hurt if nobody knew. Next team night, she would bring a dish and surprise the guys.
She was driving home and took a detour past the Colonel's house. She initially wasn't sure why, except that that invitation from Friday was still sticking in her mind. She thought that maybe they could watch some TV tonight instead, maybe even go out for a snack. She didn't know, but she really wanted to see if she could clarify what was going on, and besides, she missed him. She was losing contact with her old team, and she really didn't want that.
For some reason, she still felt a little weird about stopping by his house unexpectedly. She decided to park on the street and walk over, in case she chickened out.
**
Samantha made a meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and Jack was happy to oblige eating it. There were some advantages to not eating out all the time. The promised cake for dessert made him a very happy man.
They finished the dishes together, and Jack was ready to call it an evening, the big meal was making them both sleepy. "Ready to head back to the mountain?"
"I suppose so. This week I really have to find myself a car. Getting rides everywhere is getting a little tedious", she did feel like she was imposing on him a bit.
"Well, let's get going, before I fall asleep on you... I mean... well, you know..." , and he gave his expected lopsided grin.
She laughed, "I know what you mean, Jack".
They were both still laughing and enjoying each other's company as they got their coats and started out the door. He put his hand on her back, as the walked out. They were so close to each other...
Samantha stopped and turned to face him, "Jack, just a second."
He looked down at her, their faces were so close.... She reached up, and touched his cheek and looked into his eyes. He was questioning, curious about what she wanted, and he didn't resist when she pulled his head down into a long, slow kiss.
It was tentative, gentle and sad, as they kissed. As they pulled apart, staying still close, holding each other, she looked at him again, and said simply, "You're not him, are you?"
"No, I'm not", he shook his head slowly.
Tears formed in her eyes, "I just wish...".
"I know", he said. And he really did know. In her eyes he saw a friend, someone he knew well, who was hurting, grieving and he didn't know how to help her, except to be there for her. She was just as beautiful, smart and funny as his Carter, but she wasn't the same woman. In a way, that's why he kissed her. It was in an attempt for him to find out too. His Carter would never be so open about her emotions, and she certainly wouldn't be so forward about physical contact.
It simply came down to the fact that, while he still found this new version of Sam attractive, he didn't feel the spark that he did when his Carter was around. And he could feel another headache coming on just starting to think about it. What became clear in that moment was that he realized he could accept that Carter and Samantha were really two different women, just as he understood that the man this Samantha had been married to was not him. Oh boy.
He had a sudden longing for a Gou'ald to come along, just so he could make his life simple again. Unfortunately, he had a feeling that that was so NOT going to happen right now. He wasn't feeling that lucky. Back to index
Chapter 6: Chapter 6 Author's Notes: chapters 6 & 7 deal a bit more with the subplot. It got a bit longer than I planned, but the story seemed flat without it. Hope you like it.
Sam Carter started to walk up the driveway and noticed two people kissing on the front step. And it was not just a quick peck of a friend. She found herself stopped short to stare at the couple. She simultaneously felt like she was intruding, yet, she was captivated as if in the fascination of watching a train wreck. She couldn't turn away, because part of her really wanted to know more. She felt her breath catch as she realized that it was her Colonel and, well, herself! Her twin, whatever!
She turned and hurried back to her car, hoping they hadn't seen her. She found herself repeating over and over, "I am not jealous. I am not jealous. There is nothing to be jealous about!" and yet a little nagging voice in her head answered with dripping sarcasm, "Yeah Sam, right."
***
Thanksgiving came and went. It wasn't much of a holiday, as they all worked through much of the weekend anyway. A strange little boy came through the wormhole claiming to be of a race called the Retu.
The rest of the week involved battling Retu terrorists in the SGC.
Jacob and the other Tok'ra were mostly preoccupied with the mission at hand so there was little time to be very communicative. Sam barely had a chance, as things wound down, to explain about Samantha #2.
Jacob welcomed her warmly, but Samantha and Jacob didn't really talk much. Apparently, alternate-Jacob was largely the reason that Samantha did not join the military in the first place. Sam was glad, at least she had someone who wasn't being taken away from her by this interloper.
Professionally, her relationship with SG-1 was as strong as ever, as the firefight with the aliens showed their fluid teamwork. Unfortunately, on a personal level, Sam found that she was avoiding all of them, now that Samantha was tagging along. She felt like she had been replaced. And truthfully, she really didn't want to deal with seeing a replica of herself being Col O'Neill's new girlfriend.
After everything calmed down again, Sam went over to Janet's for a turkey dinner one Saturday evening.
They finished up the meal, and Janet poured herself and Sam another glass of wine. Time for girl-chat.
"Cassie, honey, I think the dog needs to go out, could you take him for a quick walk?", Janet figured maybe Sam just needed some space.
Cassie took the hint. It was grownup talk time, and they wanted her out of the way for a little bit. Hanka, her little dog, was curled up at her feet, hoping for scraps to drop from the table. The dog rarely left her side. She put down her napkin, and went to grab the leash and her coat. "C'mon Hanka, they want to talk about boys.", she devilishly prodded. Sam would fill her in later, so there was no reason to argue.
Janet laughed and shooed them both outside.
"So, Janet. What do you think of our new 'additions'?"
Janet tried to hide her smile, she knew Sam was referring to Samantha, but her own thoughts focussed on her new friend Charlie. She decided to focus on Sam, since it was obvious that something about her twin had been troubling her.
"They seem nice enough. I don't know Samantha that well, yet, but she seems to be respectful of your position there. From what I've heard, she speaks very highly of you."
Sam sighed. She wanted to tell Janet how she wished they never came, but she stopped short of saying the words. She wasn't sure if she should tell Janet what was really bothering her. It was probably better to change the conversation anyway.
"It's still a change. I didn't think it would be such a big adjustment, at least not for me. I don't know Janet... I'll be fine. It's just going to take some time. "
"I can't imagine what it's like for you right now", Janet agreed, leaving the opening for Sam to talk further, but Sam had no intention of showing any of her mixed feelings. She had an objective.
"Jan, I'm still sorting things out. It seemed like it was no big deal at first. Now, I don't know. But I'll fill you in when I figure it out, OK?"
"Sure, honey. I understand."
There was a pause, and Sam tried to fill it, "So, how are things going with you? You've been busy lately."
"Well, now that you mention it, I kind of have something I need to do.... you couldn't, by any chance, watch Cassie tomorrow, could you?"
Cassie loved to spend the day with Sam, almost more than she liked hanging out with her friends from school. "Sure Janet, you know I'd love to", but Sam caught on that there was more to it and had to ask. "Are you going out again?"
"Well, yes", Janet seemed almost abashed.
"What are you up to?", Sam's curiosity was getting the best of her. She was sure it was the mystery man again.
"I am helping a friend with a project", Janet stated matter-of-factly, but their was a gleam in her eye that gave the impression that whatever it was, was fun.
"Ok, Janet, spill. "
"Well, since you asked about our new friends... I'm helping Major Kawalski with some work on his new place before he moves in. Tomorrow, we're picking up furniture."
"Janet! You and Kawalski?", Sam never saw that one coming.
"It's not like that at all, really!", Janet insisted. "He's a good friend, and that place really did need some help to make it livable."
"I never would have guessed. Here I was thinking you were having some mad fling!"
"He really is a good guy, Sam. You should get to know him better."
Sam frowned, "It's so hard, Janet. He replaced me on SG-1. I'm feeling a little selfish right now, I guess."
"Sam, honey, you've been avoiding the whole team. Daniel even made comments that you've been deliberately staying away from all of them. I think Col. O'Neill is worried. You haven't spoken to him since the Retu thing, and that's been 2 weeks, he made a comment about it at lunch yesterday. I know Charlie is a little rough, but he's really a nice guy."
"It's not Kawalski, Janet."
"Oh", Janet understood, "what has Samantha done? I thought she had moved over to the research lab and you two worked out the whole territory thing."
"The research is fine, if anything, it frees me to work on the stuff I'm really most interested in.", she paused, wondering if she should say anything more and decided not to, "I guess it's nothing."
"Sam?", Janet gave her that look of 'I know you're not telling me the whole story'. Sam realized it was the kind of look only a doctor could have perfected.
She looked up at her friend. "Janet... it is so weird. You know she was married to Col. O'Neill over there."
"Yes, I knew that, Charlie told me a while back. That makes you uncomfortable?"
"Well, no, not exactly. I never thought about it before, really. I mean....", Sam stammered. She really didn't want to talk about the Colonel and her "other". "Janet, I just need some space to figure it out. Samantha is fitting into SG-1 more because Kawalski is there and I just need to figure out how I fit in, now that I'm not on the team anymore. "
"Ok, Sam, but you just let me know if you need to talk. Promise?"
"I promise, Janet", Sam said unconvincingly, "Now tell me about what you are doing to Kawalski's place that is so important?"
**
It was the second Saturday in December and Janet was cold. The delivery men brought the furniture on time, but the door was wide open the whole time and it was a bitterly cold day. She and Charlie arranged the furniture quickly, but then he decided that he really *needed* a Christmas tree to complete the place. They went down the street to find one and bought a couple of strings of lights at the local store.
After hauling the tree in together, Janet just couldn't shake the chill of the day.
"I've got the perfect thing for you, Doc", Charlie said as he went into the tiny kitchen. A few minutes later, he emerged with two steaming cups of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmallows floating on top.
Janet smiled and gratefully took a sip. "This is spiked!", Janet gave him a playfully harsh look.
"Just a little peppermint schnapps", he was so proud of himself.
Janet sipped the warm beverage and they finished their little tree decorating. They both stood back to admire their work.
"The room looks great, Doc". It really did. The big work was the ugly wallpaper removal, and putting up new. A coat of paint and some moderately nice furniture and it really looked comfortable now. The flooring still needed work, but that could wait till spring, at the very least, it was now clean. "I'll probably move in this week. I can't wait to have the team over for a pizza night or something. You and Cassie should come too."
"Just say when. We'll have to have Sam and Samantha too", Janet wanted everything to work out with Sam, she was sure that her friend just needed a little time.
"I think the owner of this place is getting the best of this deal by letting you stay here, truthfully", Janet added.
"Yeah, I just have to close my eyes when I walk in the bedroom, now" Charlie grimaced, remembering the room.
"Actually, Charlie, I've got a Christmas present for you."
"What?", Charlie was surprised, "Doc, this was more than enough. You shouldn't have..."
"C'mon, let's check out the bedroom", she grinned back.
"Doc, I am *not* that easy", he teased, genuinely curious about her suggestion.
"That's not what you say at the lunch table", she teased back.
"Ok, Doc, but just be warned, I have a reputation to keep."
They walked into to the bedroom, and Charlie gasped. "Doc, this is, GREAT!". He couldn't believe it. The former lime green walls were now a cozy beige. The mint green carpet was still there, but since it was new, it really wasn't an option to pull it up. Dark emerald green draperies donned the windows, taking the edge of the carpet color, and matching green on the bed made the room, if not perfect, certainly a lot more palatable than it had been.
"When did you DO this?", he asked.
"Well, you *were* offworld for three days last week. Cassie had rehearsals for the school Christmas play every evening, so I had to do something with my time", she smiled warmly.
He looked into those warm, cheerful eyes and decided he *so* wanted to keep this woman. He swept her up in another hug, but this time, when she hugged him back and looked up at him, he leaned down for a kiss, to which she happily responded.
* * * * * Janet drove home feeling slightly giddy, and guilty. She'd stammered something about making dinner and made a hasty retreat after Charlie had kissed her. She needed a little time to sort things out.
There wasn't enough alcohol in the hot chocolate to affect her, but, still, she felt like a school girl with her first crush. She couldn't stop smiling at thinking of the happy afternoon she'd just spent decorating. She hadn't intended to end the day with a sweet kiss. Or had she? After all, she'd just been enjoying helping out her new friend, right? The ending was quite unexpected, and it opened up an entirely new perspective for her. She started thinking of how her friendship with the outgoing Major had developed, and she couldn't help but wonder where it was going. They were friends, they flirted a bit. She realized that she liked the thought of it developing further.
The difficult thoughts came to her when she started to think about Cassie. Janet picked up some things for cookies for the "annual" decorating event that she and Cassie had started. This would be their second Christmas together. The girl was only 13, and Janet started to think of how the young woman would react to Janet getting involved with anyone. It wasn't fair to Cassie, she thought. She deserved a full-time parent. Getting involved with someone might hurt her relationship with her daughter. After all, their relationship was still very new.
Then, another thought came to mind. Cassie came from an alien world, all alone and needing somebody to care for her. Major Kawalski's situation was hardly different. His world had been destroyed and he was here, trying to make a new life for himself again. Janet mentally jumped to the conclusion that was compelled to take in strays? Was that her only interest in Kawalski? After all, as a doctor, she was inherently compassionate.
She definitely needed a bit of time to think it all over.
*** Chapter 7 - Not Alone Anymore ***
Janet didn't sleep well that night, worrying about Cassie, and worrying about what she was possibly getting herself into. She decided to try to back off of any relationship ideas for the time being, but there's something to be said for the intuition of a teenager. The next day, while she and Cassie were doing their annual cookie baking event, Cassie decided to bring up the subject independently.
"So, Mom, how is your project going with Major Kawalski?"
Janet's jaw dropped. It wasn't that Cassie didn't know that she was helping him out. It was the way Cassie kind of waggled her eyes in more goading fashion. If she'd done the same thing only 2 days earlier, Janet would have laughed and enjoyed the ribbing. Today was a different story, and she felt like a teenager who was caught coming in after curfew.
"And just what are you implying, young lady?" Janet tried to sound commanding, but it just didn't quite come out that way.
Cassie grinned. Sam was right, there was something more and Cassie just could not resist digging her Mom just a little bit.
"Oh, Sam was telling me that you've just been talking about him a lot lately. She told me to dig up as much info as possible."
"Hmmph. Some friend she's turned out to be. Turning my own daughter against me."
"So, c'mon Mom, when do I get to meet this guy? Sam says you are totally hooked."
Janet just stared. She had thought about bringing this up to Cassie, and, wouldn't it figure that Cassie was just as observant as any teenager. She already knew.
"Honey, I don't know.... I'm not "seeing" him... not exactly like you're thinking, anyway."
"But do you like him?"
"He's a friend, honey. That's all. He's all alone here, except for Samantha, and I just felt like he needed a friend to help him adjust. That's all." There. She said it. The problem was, she still wasn't sure.
Then, Cassie said something that surprised her. "He's just like me then."
"Well, I wouldn't say THAT", Janet smiled. "He's a "he" and he's a little older than when you came here.
Cassie smiled, but there was something in her eyes that looked disturbed. Janet worried that she'd been spending too much time with her new friend, and had been ignoring her daughter. Now, she worried that there may have been damage to the relationship with her daughter as a result.
"What is it, honey?", she asked. She started to prepare for damage control. Good thing that cookies were involved, as they would probably both need them.
"Well... it's kind of hard to say", Cassie paused. Janet waited as the girl gathered her thoughts. Cassie looked up and bluntly said, "I'd really like to meet him."
"Why do you say that, honey?" This was so NOT what she had expected.
"Well, like I said, he's like me. We're both kind of different here, and it's nice to know that I'm not alone if that makes any sense."
Janet hadn't even thought of it that way. Of course. Cassie was young. She was doing a good job of fitting in as a normal young woman, but there were things that she couldn't share with anyone, unlike how a normal teen could tattle along for hours with friends. Worse, even when she tried to talk with Janet about her feelings sometimes, Janet could sympathize, but she really couldn't fully understand. Now, there was at least one other person who could.
Cassie didn't know about the whole alternate universe thing, but she did know that her mom was helping out a friend who was stranded here, like she was.
"Well, maybe we could set something up sometime." she offered.
Cassie smiled. "Do you think he could help us put up the decorations today? I mean, we really could use the help with the boxes and the high places. "
"That soon? Honey, are you sure?"
Cassie just looked at her. This was important to her, for some reason. Unfortunately, she'd kind of wanted to keep some space between herself and Charlie for a few days. She didn't want to lead him on unnecessarily - at least until she'd had time to sort out her own feelings. But she couldn't say no to Cassie. With the school Christmas play next weekend, it was unlikely she'd be able to set anything up until after the holidays. It's not like Cassie didn't hear her talk about Kawalski frequently, since she did talk about her progress on the condo project often enough. Cassie knew that he was a friend, like Sam and Jack and Daniel and Teal'c.
It was still early, maybe he had gone out for the day. She dialed his number, and, drat, he picked up the phone right away. She could hear the football game on in the background.
"Hi Charlie, it's Janet"
He enthusiastically greeted her. "Jan! I'm so glad you called!" Then he started to stammer a bit. She could almost visualize him leaning forward off his recliner. "I... I... I was worried you'd never speak to me again." His voice got softer as he spoke.
"I'm sorry I rushed out, Charlie. It's not your fault.... I really had a nice time yesterday."
"Me too." She could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. She wasn't ready for this conversation. Time to move the topic, she thought.
"How's the new living room working out?", she asked.
He obviously jumped onto the more comfortable non-topic. "I am totally in love with the place! If I don't show up to work tomorrow, have them send the search party here. But be warned: they may have to pry the remote out of my hand. It could be ugly."
"That good?"
"I would fight off 20 armed Jaffa for this recliner, barehanded. I gotta tell you, Doc, it is so nice to not spend the night 20 stories underground. You have no idea how much your help means to me. I owe you a lot more than a dinner for everything."
Well there was an opening that she needed.
"Actually, Charlie, I do have a bit of a favor to ask you."
"Anything, you know that. What can I do for you, Doc?"
She explained the situation, making sure that Cassie was out of earshot for her "diagnosis".
Football forgotten, he arrived 45 minutes later, carrying a tin of gourmet hot chocolate mix, and a teddy bear for Cassie.
**
Cassie opened the door when he arrived, Janet being in the kitchen furiously cleaning up the mess from making cookies. Janet was in earshot to notice that the girl was very gracious.
"Hi. Are you Major Kawalski?"
"In person," Charlie smiled. "I assume you are the Cassandra that the Doc is always talking about?"
"It depends....", she responded, then dropped her voice conspiriously, "What does she say about me?"
He laughed. "Well, if you're not, I brought this bear to the wrong house."
"Oh no you're at the right house!", the child's eyes focused on the object in question. "Is that for me?"
Charlie offered up the bear to the outspoken teen, grinning.
Janet walked up behind, and couldn't resist razzing her daughter just a bit, "I thought you were only into getting clothes for Christmas this year."
"I make exceptions," she looked back at her Mom, grinning widely, as she held the bear just out of her mother's reach.
Janet's brown eyes sparkled with laughter as she met Charlie's smile. Things were off to a good start. "I hear you ladies need some help with setting up Christmas lights."
** The afternoon passed happily. Cookies and hot chocolate being consumed readily, as cheerful holiday music played in the background, and lights and bows swiftly filled the room. Cassie's dog spent a great deal of time barking at several of the more sparkely decorations. Janet took pictures, for Cassie's scrapbook. They talked about Cassie's upcoming play, and Charlie's recent condo project.
With the empty boxes stashed away, and cookies eaten, they all sat on the couch to admire their work. "Gosh, Doc, I can't believe you suckered me into decorating two days in a row! I am feeling downright elfish."
"You and me both, Major," Janet agreed. "I don't know about either of you, but I could use some real food right now."
"Pizza!" Cassie enthusiastically suggested.
"That is not real food," Janet said in a half-hearted doctor tone. "Unfortunately, since I'm not into doing any more cooking tonight, I think I'll agree. What do you think, Charlie?"
"I'm in. Want me to go pick up?"
No sooner did he return, pizza in hand, that Janet was in the act of grabbing her purse and coat to leave.
"I'm so glad you're back. I have to call the sitter. I just got called back to the SGC. SG-11 is coming in with multiple injuries."
Cassie gasped, "Sam's team?", her eyes wide with concern.
"I can't believe it. SG-1 was there last week. There's nothing there. The science team was just there to do some atmospheric observations. Something about the magnetic field of the planet was worth a closer look."
"I don't have any details. Cassie, I don't know when I'll be home, I'll call Jessica to stay with you."
Cassie looked pale and upset, she was obviously worried about Sam. Charlie couldn't help but be concerned for the girl. He quietly suggested, "I could stay, Jan, if you want me to. I'll crash on the couch, if you are too late. That way, Cassie and I could at least finish the pizza."
She looked over at Cassie, who was nodding that she was happy with the idea of staying with the Major. Even without much broaching of the subject, the two had a unique bond due to their circumstances. And Charlie knew and cared about Sam too.
"That's great Charlie, I appreciate that. I feel like I've been imposing on the sitter a lot lately." She turned to Cassie. "And don't even think about bullying him into staying up late. You have school tomorrow."
Cassie gave a weak smile, "I promise, Mom."
They didn't talk much over the pizza. Just watched the last of the Sunday night football game. Cassie would occasionally ask questions about plays and calls, and Charlie would explain. Finally, Cassie brought up what she'd been wanting to ask all day.
"Major, can I ask you something?"
"Weren't you asking me stuff all night?"
"Well, this is a little different."
"You can ask me anything, Cass, don't ever worry about that. What's on your mind?"
"I was wondering, where you came from, did you have any family?"
He paused, this was going to be rough to answer. He'd been avoiding thinking about home. His energy in recent weeks was solely focussed on building a new life. He responded slowly, "Yeah, I had a Mom, and a sister."
"Are they still alive?"
Here was the hard part. "I don't know. Part of me hopes that they are, another part thinks it might be better for them if they aren't."
Cassie nodded, she sort of understood, "Is it because of the Goa'uld?"
"Yeah, Honey, yeah."
Cassie saw how sad he looked. He didn't look at her, but just stared at his hands. She reached over and touched his arm, and he looked up at her. His eyes damp with tears. Cassie wasn't sure if she was feeling better, that now she wasn't so alone on this planet, or bad that she made this nice man feel worse by bringing it up.
"My Mom and Dad are definitely dead. I saw them." She was starting to tear up also, but the look in her eyes also showed determination. She really, really wanted to talk about this to somebody.
He was at a loss of what to say. What do you tell a child who witnessed such a horror? He briefly wondered how the little girl could be so stable after such a tragedy. He quickly answered himself that Janet must be a wonderful parent.
"Do you miss them?" he finally asked.
"All the time," she said, her voice breaking a little. "How 'bout you?"
"All the time."
He leaned closer to her, and wrapped her up in a big hug, and she embraced him back, sobbing quietly.
"It's ok," she finally sniffed not leaving the hug.
"OK?" he asked. He couldn't see how it could ever be ok.
She pulled back, and looked at him, her determination returning. "I wouldn't know my new Mom, if I was still there. I wouldn't know Uncle Jack, or Sam or Daniel or Teal'c. I would still be worshipping Niirti instead of having wonderful holidays like Christmas."
So, Cassie was a 'glass is half-full' kind of person. He was shocked. She was trying to cheer him up. He discovered an entirely new respect for the girl.
"You are a wonderful young lady, Cassie. I can't tell you how glad I am to know you. If I'm going to be stuck here, I think you are right. I am very, very happy that I have friends like you and your Mom."
"Sometimes it's hard, though", she continued, " If you ever need to talk about your Mom, I just want you to know that I wouldn't mind talking about it with you."
"Same here, Honey. If you ever want to talk about home or anything, you let me know."
She nodded, and smiled. "Is now ok?"
"Absolutely, where would you like to start?"
"Gee, I don't know where to begin..."
"Well I have a question...."
"Sure, what?"
"Well, you said don't have anything like Christmas on your original home?"
"Oh, no", she said, allowing herself to remember her home. "Back on Hanka, our only holidays were to worship Niirti, and they were usually because we were afraid that if we didn't worship her enough, she would punish us. But, I think she did anyway. The holidays here are so wonderful. I love the Christmas story of the baby in the manger. That the holiday is about the love he gave the world by being born, and loving each other."
They talked about many things about each of their own homes. Mostly about people and places that they missed. The talked far later into the evening than Janet probably would have liked, but bed or not, Cassie wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing Sam was alright. Janet called around midnight to say that nobody on the team was too seriously injured and that she would be home in a couple of hours. That's when Cassie finally bid goodnight and went to her room.
Charlie tried to stay awake for Janet's return, but was completely unsuccessful. She found him sprawled on the couch, snoring loudly in front of the TV.
*** Chapter 8 - Hell Hath no Fury... * * * * *
Charlie's housewarming pizza party was postponed for a couple of weeks, while the team went to hell, or Netu, however you choose to call it, for the purpose of rescuing one Jacob Carter.
As keeper of Jolinar's memories, Sam was back with her old team for this one mission, but she remained unhappy. Actually, outright cranky to everyone except Martouf for much of the time in the cargo ship. She ultimately softened to Daniel and Teal'c, even Kawalski, after the first day or so, but she avoided Jack as much as humanly possible.
Jack could have explained her short temper at first as simply stress over the fate of her father, but what he couldn't figure out was why she was particularly abrasive with him? She was also overly friendly with ol' Marty, and he didn't like Marty acting so buddy-buddy with her.
He was grateful when the mission was finally over, Jacob was safe, and Marty was on his way back to Tokra-land.
Jacob stayed an extra few days so he and Sam could visit with her brother. Before he left he spent some time with Samantha, hoping to work out issues with her. After all, he reasoned, she was Sam too, and even though she had a different relationship with her father, he wanted to let her know that he would be there for her if she needed him.
Jack figured that the time away with Jacob would do Sam some good. He was hoping she would get over what was obviously bothering her, but on her return, she continued to shy away from her former teammates. He decided it was time to confront the problem more directly.
Shortly after Jack saw Jacob and Samantha chatting in the commissary, he found Sam abusing some poor piece of machinery in her lab.
"Damn it!", she cursed as she flung a defenseless item into the corner. Not like Sam, he thought. Not like her at all.
"Hey Carter, the taxpayers aren't gonna be too happy if they find out about that kind of disregard of government property", he tried to joke.
She turned, but he could still see the anger in her eyes. He really hoped it wasn't directed at him. Her eyes were red, like she had been crying. Very, very not like Carter.
"Sir, is there something I can do for you?", she said, her voice rough.
"Maybe", he ignored the fact that she obviously didn't want him there. "I was hoping to ask you the same thing. What's up?"
"Nothing. Sir." She turned back and picked up a different item, apparently related to the first, and began to viciously dissect it.
"Carter...."
"Sir?"
"You have not been acting like yourself, Carter. Something is wrong and I intend to find out what it is.", he left no room for argument.
"Sir, nothing is wrong."
"Does it have something to do with Jacob chatting it up with Sam #2?"
"No, Sir", she said stubbornly, and her eyes flashed with anger.
"Ah ha, so it does...."
"Sir, you aren't my CO anymore, and I don't have to tell you."
How did he get this mission, to talk to her? Daniel had been trying for weeks without success. He had to find a tactic.
"C'mon Carter. You are my friend, and the equipment abuse people are about to press charges. Would it make you feel better to get out of here and talk about it? Maybe over dinner?"
She stopped and tried to make sense of what she just heard. He did it again. He asked her out, outside of work. Just the two of them. And he had a girlfriend. What the hell was going on here? But, she reasoned, he said "as a friend". He probably meant it as just that.
"Sir, I don't think that it's appropriate."
"Carter... Sam", he made it personal by using her first name, "It doesn't take a shrink to figure out that something about our friends from the other universe has been bothering you. A lot."
She stared at him. He was right, and she couldn't deny it. Samantha had moved in and disrupted her world, was hanging out with her team, dating her Colonel, and now was becoming part of her family by making amends with her father. She had nothing left, except Janet and Cassie, who were still part of her old life, and even they were being included in the "new" team because of Janet's involvement with Kawalski. The rug had been pulled out from her entire personal universe, what little there was of it, and she was hurting, deeply.
As she stood there, trying to say something, Jack took the opportunity to leave no room for her to turn him down.
He continued, "I'll take that as a yes. Now, go get changed up, and we'll find a nice bar and sit down and talk. I mean it. I'll order it if I have to."
"Sir, with all due respect, won't your girlfriend be unhappy if you go out with me, even as a friend?"
There, she said it. It was the only thing she could think of, and hoped it would be enough to make him go away.
It wasn't easy to leave Jack O'Neill at a loss for words, but this was one of those occasions. He stared at her for a while, trying to figure out if his hearing was playing tricks on him, or maybe she was trying to joke and it came out badly. No, she wasn't joking, not in her mood. He finally gulped in a breath and responded, "Carter, what the hell are you talking about? I don't have a girlfriend."
She blushed deeply. Oh boy, she'd wanted to say it, but she couldn't believe the words had actually left her mouth. She had been so angry for so long, that she just had to say something, and she unconsciously prodded for confirmation of the main thing that really bugged her. What surprised her, was that he denied it.
He figured she was just off guard enough that he could take the opportunity to solidify his suggestion.
"Carter, I need to talk to you. There's some serious miscommunication going on and if we don't clear it up, I'm gonna go nuts. We all know that's not a good thing. Get changed up and I'll meet you at the elevators in ten. Are we clear?"
"Yes, sir", she said meekly. She was so embarrassed, she wanted to hide. Unfortunately, now she *had* to talk to him.
**
They met at the elevator and Sam was noticeably silent. They walked out to the parking lot together, and Jack motioned for her to get in the passenger side of his truck and drove to a nearby restaurant. Not a word was spoken between the two of them.
As they sat down, Jack ordered two beers, as Sam continued to sulk. She reminded him of a child being reprimanded, and inwardly, he was little amused.
"If you don't mind, I'm going to order up some appetizers. You know how I can get a little cranky if I'm hungry."
Her eyes looked up from the table, and her eyebrows raised a little.
"Ok. Crankier", as he emphasized the "er" part of the word.
He saw the corner of her mouth twitch upward ever so slightly, just the start of a smile. Good. So, he went a little further.
"And don't get on me with that eyebrow thing. I get enough of it from Teal'c. " The other side of her mouth twitched upward to match the first. Her head was still down and her shoulders hunched, as if she really was trying to hide.
"Drink your beer, Carter."
"Yes, Sir", as she sipped at it.
"And don't call me 'sir'. We're here as friends, remember?"
"Ok...ummm...Jack", she said as if it was difficult to pronounce.
"Better", he sat up straight and gave that big smile, like he was proud of himself. That earned him a full smile.
They sat in silence for a while longer, and Jack's curiosity was getting the best of him. He'd gotten her out, which meant he had a chance of getting her to talk. They finished their beers and he ordered another round.
"Sam, you know what's bothering you is going to come out sooner or later. You might as well spit it out now and make it easier on both of us. Otherwise, I may start trying to think about it, and that's never a good idea."
"Sir..."
"Ack!", and he raised a finger at her to stop that.
She sighed, "Ok...Jack. If it was easy to talk about, we wouldn't be here right now."
"Well, that kinda goes without saying, now, doesn't it."
"Yes, Si.."
"Ack!", he stopped her mid-"sir".
She slowly shook her head and smiled, hands playing with her beer as she stared at the glass.
"You know, Daniel is usually the one elected when someone needs to talk something out", she tried to change the subject a little.
"Well, apparently, you've become an expert at avoiding him. I want lessons on that, by the way. And Teal's is flat out scared of you."
"Teal'c", she looked at him again, the smile reaching her eyes, finally.
"Yep. It's not a pretty sight", he said in mock seriousness.
"S...Jack, I know I've been a little off lately. It's really just something I need to work out on my own."
"Carter, this has been going on for 3 months now, and we've all noticed that it's just getting worse. I know it started with you getting moved off of SG-1, but you've got a great team... You're *leading* a great team. This is probably a better career move for you than staying as a second on any other team, even SG-1."
"It's not that, exactly." Truthfully, she was still upset over the move, but it was the way of the military. It made sense at the time. She couldn't stay angry about it. Being moved around was part of the job description.
"Then, what, Carter?"
"It's just...", it was so hard to put it into words. "It's just that I thought with Kawalski there, and Samantha and you, it just seemed like there isn't room for me. I figured it would be easier on everyone fitting in if I wasn't in the way."
This talking thing was so hard. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Go for the blunt and not so bright approach, he thought.
"Sam, what do you think is going on here? "
"I'm not sure you all need two Samantha Carters around"
"Holy Crap Carter, what the heck is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't want to be in anybody's way, you know, with her."
"No, I don't *know*, but before this gets weird. We are friends, just friends. Nothing more. Yes, I have been spending time with her here, because she is going through a very rough transition. I would do the same for you. Kind of the whole reason I am doing this whole "talking" thing right now, which we both know is not my strong area. "
"That's not what it looks like", she mumbled.
"Carter, you should know me by now that I need things explained in short simple sentences. If you don't tell me straight out, I am probably going to have my head explode."
"Sir, I don't want to make things uncomfortable for the two of you. It would just be too strange with me around."
He looked at her hard. "What the HELL exactly are you implying, Carter?"
"Sir, I *know* about the two of you. I saw the two of you, at your house, uhhhhhh....", she just couldn't say it.
"Carter....", he prodded.
"You were kissing."
He sat back, deflated. Actually, worse than that. He felt like somebody just dumped a bucket of cold water all over him and his mind raced back through the past couple of months, and it hit him. "Oh, that...." How could he forget, but that was one time, quite a while ago, and how could she know? He closed his eyes trying to sort through all the random thoughts. Then it started to dawn on him.
"Carter, are you.... *jealous*?", he *had* to tease her on that.
"Absolutely not, Sir!", her eyes widened in horror at the thought. "It's none of my business who you, or anyone on the team is seeing..."
"Carter! Stop."
She snapped her mouth shut, and actually started to flush with embarrassment.
"I knew I shouldn't have started talking with you", she insisted.
"Carter! Will you let me say something here?"
She froze, looking suspiciously like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
"Carter. Sam." He leaned forward and grabbed her hand, stopping her from shredding her hapless napkin. She stared at his hand on hers, and looked up into his eyes as he spoke. "It's not what you think, and I really, really wish you had said something sooner, if that was what was bugging you."
"I told you, it's none of my business. And it is *not* what is bothering me."
"It *is* your business in that it affected you so strongly. It also basically, involves someone who is effectively yourself, which is freaky, and probably a gazillion other reasons. But just to be clear, if you saw what I *think* you saw, it happened once and it never happened again."
"But..."
"Ack!", and she quieted again, "I'm not finished yet. She's not you Carter. She looks like you, talks like you, but she's not you. "
She was confused and had to say so, "I don't get it."
"You know, for someone so smart, you can be really dense. I'm not used to explaining things, so bear with me. Was I attracted to her? I don't know. Sort of, I guess. She saw me as a twin for her husband, that's all, and she basically had to work that issue out. I am no more her husband, than you are her."
"Oh"
"You see her as a different person from you, right?"
"Yes. I think of her as more of a twin sister than a double."
"Exactly."
"But, she cooks, and the long hair, and she is so much more... I don't know... feminine. I mean...she's more of the type that men would be interested in, you know, ummmm....dating. "
"Carter, that is so not true. Have you looked in the mirror lately?"
She had nothing to say to that.
"Sam. She's not my type. "
In a way, the words were devastating. The fact that Samantha, her effective double, was not his type meant she wasn't either? She felt like her heart had dropped to the floor, and she really wanted to get out of there. She tried to pull away, "Well, I guess that clarifies everything. I better go now. "
"Not so fast, Carter.", he continued to hold her hand, "I don't think this conversation is done yet."
"Sir...", he looked hard at her, "Ok, Jack, I don't see what more is the problem. I'm on a new team. It's time for me to move on."
"Why? We all miss you Carter. Even, as geeky as you are, Teal'c misses you. Friends stick together."
"Yeah", she swallowed and her voice dropped to barely a whisper, "friends". What had she been thinking? Again, she internally cursed the arrival of her counterpart. If that woman had not entered her life with the bizarre factoid of being married to Jack, she probably would still just be thinking of him as an attractive man, maybe an occasional stray thought, but not much more. But that cursed woman had put this *idea* into her head that maybe it was something more, and she'd let her imagination go with it. Only to find out it wasn't mutual. Damn her! And look what a mess it caused.
"Carter, what is going on in that huge brain of yours?"
"Nothing."
"Well, I sincerely doubt that," he prodded.
She decided to let go of the whole thing. She forced the ridiculous thoughts from her head and decided that she just wanted things back the way they were. Jack was making an attempt, which was a lot for him. She decided that it was time to let go of her petty differences with Samantha. She wanted her friends back. "I was just thinking it would be fun to beat you at pool right now."
"Sam, I get the feeling that we're not done with this conversation", he took her hand. She had no choice but to look up at him. He was looking into her eyes and she was once again confused. The look in his eyes said way more than "just friends". She looked away, trying to process the information. God, people were so difficult, that's why she liked physics, all the variables could be contained.
"Sam", he prodded again.
"It's nothing, really." She looked back up at him. It felt like her heart fluttered a little. Yep, she was an idiot, she was sure.
He said nothing, just continued to look at her. She felt defeated. She couldn't just stop thinking about him and now, she was sure he knew it too.
"Sam", he wasn't sure what to say, other than that now he was sure that the arrival of one Dr. Carter had affected his Sam as much as it had affected himself. "This whole thing....with the other us... it's ok for us to feel like the universe is dorking us around. Isn't it?"
"I can't imagine not feeling.... well... weird. But..."
"Sam, I'm looking at things a bit differently too."
She stared at him. His gaze was intense and directed solely at her, and it hit her. He was definitely thinking the same way she was.
"Oh my gosh", she gasped, her eyes widened with realization. There was an attraction there, but neither of them was going to put it into words.
"Yeah", he looked away.
"So...."
"So...", he still couldn't bring himself to look up at her.
She started to babble, "I mean, I don't know if I'm ready for this. What if it's just that I, uhh you, I mean we are just kind of blowing some little, uhhh, thing way out of proportion because of somebody who has really nothing to do with us and it's really nothing. I mean, what if we're wrong here?"
He started to chuckle at her tirade of analization, and she stopped short, half irritated, and half amused by his reaction.
"What?", immediately reverting to his most innocent expression.
"Sir, us just talking about this, could be a big, huge mistake."
"Actually, Carter, I'm not exactly sure what we're talking about. Since we are both about as communicative as a couple of houseplants."
She still stared at him, maintaining that irritated look. He opened a can of worms. Now it was up to him to try to stuff it all back in. And that was so not going to happen. He found out what he wanted, no, needed to know, at least. Time for damage control, before they really stepped into a mess.
"Carter, all I'm trying to say here is that, we have some options open. I miss you, both on SG-1 and as a friend. Maybe it's time to just think about what Doctor Carter", he paused to emphasize the formal title of her name, "has brought up to us here, maybe not. But I don't want her influence to affect your relationship with any of us. I mean", pause, "Teal'c would never forgive me if messed this meeting up and you didn't speak to him again."
She knew he was talking about himself. The speech was about as deep as the guy could get, and she appreciated that. They were both a bit confused due to recent events, she knew that now. It really shouldn't change how she felt about him, or anyone else for that matter.
How could she not smile at that. How could she not be around this man, or the rest of that team. They were more than a team, they were family. And, if anything, this evening proved that he was thinking the same way she was. They were both confused, but they'd work it out better together.
She looked up and let her smile show. "Well, how could I possibly let Teal'c down?", she grinned at him. "You've got me there. "
"Cool", he said smugly, and sipped down the rest of his beer. She smiled, shook her head and finished her own.
She smiled, it was just like him to just go back to normal, like this weird thing never happened. She wanted it that way. She just smiled. They would work this out, one way or another. "Want to play pool?"
And they spent the rest of the evening back to the harmless flirting she remembered. She happily leaned across the pool table as he happily admired her backside.
*** Chapter 9 - The Universe Isn't Finished with us Yet *** It wasn't easy, but Sam started hanging out with her former teammates again. In a way, it gave her more of a personal life than she'd ever had before. For a change, they had different stories to share, and it was kind of fun to compare notes. Better yet, she and the Colonel were becoming closer than they ever had before. Their new perspective led to her giving into far more intense scrutiny. She wondered how long before she would seriously get involved with him.
Teal'c decided that he liked bowling, and that became the latest reason to get together after work once in a while. Whoever was free would stop by. Almost always it was Jack, Daniel, Teal'c and Sam. Often Samantha would join. Janet would show up with Cassie once in a while, and Kawalski was also an intermittent attendee, as he was apparently getting more of a life outside the SGC than his teammates.
Sam was still trying to figure out if Janet was actually "dating" Kawalski, but she couldn't place it yet. It became a bit of a guessing game. Jack was convinced it was true, because, he said, "Kawalski is just way too happy to go to the infirmary". Teal'c would only smile at the conversation. She was convinced he really knew the truth, he was far too observant to not know, but he enjoyed watching the banter.
It was a night where just she, Jack, Teal'c and Daniel were out at the bowling alley and they started on it again.
"So, have you tried asking Cassie?", Jack asked Sam.
"She refuses to answer. She says Teal'c knows the whole story."
"T, why do you get all the good information?", Jack yelled over to Teal'c, who was standing in the lane, preparing to roll.
"Because I can keep a secret, O'Neill."
"Aha! that proves that it's true!", Jack yelled, just as Teal'c released the ball. Teal'c turned and stared at them impassively.
"It does not, O'Neill", Teal'c responded calmly, as Sam got up to take her turn, laughing as Teal'c continued. "It only proves that I choose not to share with you."
"Awww, c'mon Teal'c. Just give us a little hint. We won't tell anyone", Daniel teased.
"I suggest you find out for yourselves. All information is readily available if you choose to look for it."
"I KNEW it!", Jack said. "you have no idea. You're just trying to get us to find out for you!"
Teal'c lifted his chin and said nothing. Sam and Daniel just about rolled over on each other with laughter.
The game finished. Teal'c won again, but nobody cared. They walked out laughing and gossiping about any funny thing that came to mind. Jack casually threw his arm around Sam's shoulders as they walked out to the parking lot and she found herself leaning into him. It was the way friends should be, and Sam felt back to feeling included again. She found that the way things had evolved wasn't so very bad as it had seemed at first. They all just needed to make a little more effort to be together and it was working out just fine.
Sam had also finally made some sort of truce with Samantha. She was convinced that they would never quite be friends, simply because they were too alike, but they could be good colleagues. She loved having someone who she could truly discuss theory with.
**
The peace didn't last long, however. She went away for a two week long mission to a horribly cloudy, cold planet and returned to find Daniel pacing in the gateroom.
"Sam, we need to talk as soon as you get finished here."
They both turned and started walking down the hallway so Sam could get her post mission checkup, "What's happened?"
"It's a long story. Something bad happened on Edora, the gate there was disabled, badly. Jack didn't make it back. Samantha's a wreck trying to come up with a way to get back there."
"When did this happen?"
"A couple of days ago."
She felt a bit of panic start to hit her almost immediately and fought it down. The story of an intense meteor storm, and a large impact hitting the area of the Stargate did not help matters any. Jack was a friend, she fought down the thought of "maybe more", and the thought of losing him was just not acceptable.
Her post-mission formalities seemed to take forever to finish. As soon as she was done with the debrief, she immediately requested to work with Samantha on a solution, which General Hammond understandingly approved.
She found Samantha in her lab, looking through documents on the Stargate. She looked like she hadn't slept in two days.
"They can't get a ship out there for months. There has to be a way to get this to work."
"What's your theory on what happened?", Sam asked.
"When the meteor hit, the liquified rock solidified over the wormhole, since it was engaged at the time. I think it solidified to create basically an iris over the gate. We can't send anything through."
Sam scanned her memory and finally spoke, "Sokar never attacked your SGA."
Samantha shook her head to say "no".
Sam thought for a second. "When Sokar attacked us, he was able to send a particle beam through the wormhole that started to melt our iris. If we could generate a similar beam..."
"If we could build something to do the same thing....", Samantha started to think about how. "We could get him home!"
The two women looked at each other and smiled. They could do this together. "Let's go talk to General Hammond", they said in unison.
**
Sam was exhausted. She and Samantha were working day and night to come up with a way to generate a stable particle beam. It was beyond stretching physics as they knew it. Worse, Sam was still obligated to keep up with some of her work on SG-11. General Hammond lightened the load a little, but he couldn't alleviate it entirely.
Samantha, having a full time assignment to the lab, got to focus on things while Sam was away, but that didn't help her sanity. She had nothing on her mind but getting Jack back home. She needed him.
Janet started getting on Sam's case one day about getting some rest. She and Samantha were starting to get a little punchy during a particularly ugly set of calculations. It was exhaustion, and they both knew it.
Finally, Samantha just decided to address the issue outright. She, more than anyone, probably knew what was driving Sam to such extremes. She needed to get the woman to talk about it, despite the fact that she held her emotions in such tight control, it was obvious that there was emotion driving her.
"You care about him a lot, don't you?", it was more of a statement than a question.
Sam looked up from her work to look at Dr. Carter. "That's a silly question. He was my commanding officer for years. He's my friend. Of course I care about him. You obviously do too."
"I won't lie to myself. I need him back. Losing another Jack right now is not acceptable. He's been the one best thing that helped me adapt to this place, and I can't bear to lose him again."
"Yeah. Well, then I'll do my best to get him back for you", Sam muttered as she tried to return to her work, but Samantha stopped her and continued.
"Don't get me wrong Sam, he is a good friend. He's more than a friend to you, though, isn't he?"
She looked at her twin, hard. "Please don't go there, Samantha. It's not something I want to think about."
"You need to think about it. You can't lie to me. Not about this, anyway", Samantha prodded.
"We don't have time to be putting personal feelings into this. There's too much to do", Sam tried to evade the question.
"God, Sam. Don't be a fool!" Samantha prodded. "I was married to him. And it was wonderful! Don't let this whole military thing keep you from feeling for him! "
"It comes down to the military again for you, doesn't it?", Sam became annoyed. She didn't want to think about this, and she had to change the subject.
"No! That's not what I mean. I mean that when I lost my Jack, it was the worst moment of my life. You have the chance to be with yours and you're turning it down! I don't understand. "
"Samantha, I *don't* have a choice. I'm pretty sure he's not interested."
"How can you say that? I know for a fact that he is."
Sam stared. She wanted to know more, but couldn't bring herself to say anything. This woman's presence had already messed things up enough.
Samantha decided to take Sam's silence as an opportunity to continue. If she didn't say it now, she might never get another chance. "I was married to his double in another universe. I know him, I know how he reacts and I've seen how he is around you. Don't tell me he's not infatuated with you. You both work pretty hard to deny it."
"Can we just get back to work. Even if you're right, he's not here, and if we don't get him back, then this conversation is moot anyway."
Sam was right about that and Samantha had said her piece. Going further did no good, and, from Sam's reaction, she'd gotten her answer anyway. They both stopped talking and got back to work.
**
It took a little more than 2 months, with both of them working on the solution. Teal'c nearly died chipping his way out of the cavern that contained the Stargate. But in the end, they got to Edora, and found that Jack did survive.
Both Dr. Carter and Sam got to journey with SG-1 to the planet to oversee the process of extracting the stargate in order to study how it may have been affected by the direct meteor strike. Sam couldn't wait to see Jack, but she was hurt when she saw him turn away from them to say goodbye to the woman, Laira.
Fortunately, Samantha caught the gesture as well and decided to have a little chat with Jack before Sam once again retreated from her feelings.
She didn't waste time, they had a few moments on the walk back to the stargate and she immediately got to the point, "Who's your friend back there, Jack".
He looked abashed, "Just a friend."
"I'm thinking that's not all. She looked pretty upset to see you leave."
"It's from her perspective, that's all. I'm glad to be going home."
She gave him a side glance. It told him she didn't quite believe him. It was unnerving to have someone read him so well, and he started to wonder why he wanted to go home so much. "Look *nothing* happened, OK? You're getting as bad as Teal'c with the eyebrow thing!"
She smiled, "but she wanted something to happen", she said.
He looked at the ground, "Uh, yeah."
"Ok, I'm letting you off the hook this time", and she smiled at his obvious relief. She couldn't let him off entirely. "But just know that while you were on this little vacation, Sam was working herself to death to get you back. Make sure you say thank you. "
He looked a little surprised, then just nodded. "Ok... Mom"
**
They had a nice welcome home party the next evening. Nothing big, just pizza and beer and movie. Somehow, Sam found herself seated on the couch near the colonel. With no more work, she found herself dozing off as soon as the movie began. She woke up at the end to find his arm behind her, and her head resting on his shoulder.
"Hey, sleepyhead", he chided.
She bolted upright, afraid if anyone had noticed, but everyone was had quietly gone after the movie ended. There was no question that Sam needed the sleep and nobody wanted to disturb her.
"I'm sorry, Sir", she was all she could say as she started to get up to leave.
"Hey, relax", he put his hand on her arm to stop her. She sat back down, and tried to keep from blushing her embarrassment at the situation. "I've heard from everyone about how exhausted you've been. They said you worked day and night to get me back home. A little pillow duty is the least I can do to pay you back." He gave his patented, smart-ass grin that said he was pleased with himself, and he was enjoying her discomfort.
She smiled. He was charmingly irritating and she had to admit to herself that she loved it. But she still didn't know what to say. Her conversation with Samantha briefly jumped into her mind and she tried to repress it. Samantha couldn't have been right. If anything, he seemed to be more interested in the pretty woman he'd been living with on Edora. She immediately felt an ache of jealously inside, and her smile faded.
"Hey", he said. "It's not *that* bad having me back around, is it?"
"No! It's not that. I was just thinking of some things Samantha said", and she again started to feel nervous. She definitely didn't want to repeat that conversation.
"Ahhh, Samantha", and he nodded knowingly. "She's been talking to you too, huh?"
The shock must have shown on her face because he started to chuckle at her expression.
"I think she's been trying to play matchmaker", Sam suggested, trying to sound uninvolved.
"Yeah, I got that too. She practically herded everyone out of here single handedly."
Sam smiled and said, "I guess she feels she knows better."
"Well, she does have a unique perspective."
"You could say that again. Sometimes, I really can't believe how weird our lives are. I mean, this makes science fiction look tame by comparison."
"No kidding."
She got up to leave, "Well, I better get going. I really do need to get some rest - on a real pillow."
"Are you sure? cuz I take my pillow duty very seriously", as he stood up next to her. For a moment, she wasn't sure if that wasn't a joke.
"I'm sure, but thank you for the nap. I think I can stay awake for the drive home."
He walked her to the door as she put on her jacket. He put his hand on the doorknob. "I really do want to thank you, Sam, for, you know, getting me back home."
She turned toward him, "It's no big deal."
He turned her toward him, his hand on her shoulder, and he moved his hand to cup her cheek as he steeped closer. He made eye contact and she couldn't look away.
"It *is* a big deal." He said seriously, and leaned in to give her a brief, soft kiss. "Thank you", he said.
He started to pull away, but she stopped him. This was a long time in coming. She'd thought about him for more than 2 long, miserable months.
"Wait", she said as she reached to touch his face. "I missed you"
"Well, Carter, I missed you too."
She felt hopeful, but, she still was wondering about the affectionate hug he'd given to that woman on the planet. She had clung to him just a bit too tightly as he'd held her. He'd been living in her home for the entire time, and obviously appeared fond of her. "So, no regrets about leaving your friends back on Edora?", she asked, trying to appear casual.
He didn't miss that her light tone was forced. It reminded him of their talk in the bar before he'd left, when he realized that she had been dealing with a certain amount of jealousy over seeing him kiss Samantha. For all her exuberant confidence in matters of military competence, physics, or other areas of science, he realized that she was basically insecure about herself at least as far as he was involved. He smiled and decided it was time to change that.
"She wasn't you."
He'd used that same expression when he talked about Samantha. Noone compared to his Sam. She looked at him, her lack of comprehension showed clearly in her face. He kind of liked seeing Carter confused. It didn't happen often.
"But, I thought..."
He didn't allow her to finish her sentence, as he bent down and kissed her, deeply. Her mouth responding in a way that he'd only imagined up til now. He briefly thought of how difficult it was going to be to let her go home.
He broke the kiss, and simply said, "Stay."
She nodded. She'd been thinking about nothing but him and how to get him back home for the last 2 months, wondering whether or not she should fight this anymore. She had spent far too much time , ever since her double had appeared, wondering if her feelings were her own, or just that she was compelled to them by outside influences. She'd been resisting, because she didn't want to think that this man was her destiny and she didn't want to believe in destiny. She briefly wondered if she was being rash because she was exhausted, and relieved that he was finally home and safe. It was the last thought that finally made her give in. She simply wanted to stay with him.
With her agreement to stay, his gaze intensified, and she was almost unnerved by seeing so much emotion from him. He kissed her again, with more determination and intensity. His hands slowly caressing down her neck, and down to her waist, wrapping her up and pulling her closer. She felt her insides flutter with excitement.
She had one last coherent thought, that THIS was what Samantha had meant when she spoke about her husband. But there was no room for Samantha here, and she pushed the thoughts from her mind. It was time to focus solely on the man she'd been preoccupied with for the last several months.
She slowly drifted to consciousness the next morning. Her first thought was that it felt good to have slept so soundly. She then realized that she was naked, and someone was spooned up behind her. She slowly turned over, to see his warm brown eyes. Realizing his arm was behind her head, she couldn't help but remark, "well, I've definitely learned something about you."
He looked at her, questioningly.
"You did say that you took your pillow duty seriously. I see that you are a man of your word."
"I try my best, Ma'am", he smiled, as he drew her closer, kissing her passionately. His morning arousal needing no more encouragement. Waking up was so much more pleasant with a warm Carter in his bed.
She squirmed a bit, glancing at the clock. "Ohmygosh. I'm going to be late for my shift..."
He rolled over onto her, holding her in place for the moment, he was SO not in a hurry to see this morning end. "Not so fast, Major. Hammond knows you needed rest, I'm sure he'll make an allowance just this once."
"I'm not so sure that you have rest in mind, Colonel"
"Well, there are many forms of rest, my dear Major", he grinned.
They made love again, and she left for the mountain happy, rested and more content than she'd felt in months.
*** Chapter 10 - The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth *** Sam got into work late but humming. She ran into Daniel as she was leaving the cafeteria with a muffin and juice.
"Sam", he stared at her. Something was different, and he didn't want to dare guess, having last seen her napping on Jack's shoulder last night.
"Hey, Daniel!", she smiled. No, smile wasn't the right word, he thought. Grinning like an idiot was a far better term.
But she waved and hurried along. He had to get to work anyway, but he was going to make a point of asking about this later.
Sam was oblivious to the scrutiny. Her mind had moved to focusing on the day ahead. She had been spending so much time on the particle beam that she'd fallen behind on her other projects. Now, with some serious changes in her relationship to the Colonel, she didn't want any appearance of impropriety. She grabbed a couple of members of her team, and Siler, and started tearing apart a rather large motor that her team had hauled back from P29-841 recently.
***
Jack practically bounced as he strolled into the mountain that morning. He didn't have to go in. In fact, he was supposed to have a couple of days of downtime to get his life back to normal after his little 2+ month hiatus, but he decided that he wanted to get back to the mountain and check up on things there. Carters mostly.
Yep, definite bounce in the step. In fact, he was feeling pretty darned good about himself. One might even say smug. After all, he had almost 3 months off, living in a nice place, nobody shooting at him, no major injuries, nice people and he got to come back to a couple of Carters. Well, if he had to admit to himself, he was a little more partial to the one he'd woken up with that morning. He smiled inwardly at the memory and bounced down the hallway. Several people looked at him suspiciously as he, most uncharacteristically, greeted them cheerfully. He realized it was fun to confuse them like that. Yep, it was a good day.
He decided to swing by his Carter's lab first. She and Siler were already pulling something apart, so he just looked in long enough to catch her smile. He waved and walked on to see if Samantha was available for breakfast, like they used to do. He got to the lab, no Samantha, he walked to the cafeteria, no Samantha. Eventually, he managed to corner Dr. Coombs, who was very obviously trying to avoid him, and found that Samantha was not only not on base, but was ordered by Dr. Frasier to stay home and rest.
Perplexed, he stalked over to the infirmary.
He didn't get much information there either. He was given the usual crap about patient confidentiality and told not to worry. Obviously, he figured, Samantha had gotten very little rest over the last couple months as well.
He bypassed Carter's lab again, but she still appeared busy. She stopped long enough to look up with a brief smile and wave. There were too many people around for him to hang around, although he really wanted to talk to her. Carter seemed happy enough, just busy, as did everyone else, it seemed.
Unable to sit still, he wandered around to find Daniel. He and Teal'c were preparing to brief SG-6 for that team's next mission. This left Jack feeling like the entire world had learned to get along just fine without him.
Bored, he decided to take advantage of his day off and started to drive home. Somewhere along the way, he decided to stop by Samantha's apartment, figuring that he wanted to thank her as well for getting him home, though maybe not in the same way he'd thanked Sam... Ah, again, happy thought.
He arrived at her door and as she answered two things struck him as odd. First, she definitely looked tired. He took the time to realize that Samantha's lovely features were almost skeletal, and there were dark circles under her eyes. He hadn't noticed this the day before, since she was obviously busy ordering him to deal with Sam. The second thing he noticed was that she clearly looked like she had gained some serious weight in her midsection. Being the observant type he knew himself to be, he realized that the two observations were a bit mutually exclusive. He thought back quickly and recalled that she wore very baggy clothing last night, and prior to that, she'd been wearing that big, white, shapeless lab coat. If he knew Samantha at all, she'd probably hidden the truth from as many as possible.
Staring directly at her swollen tummy, he blurted, "Oh my God, Sam. You're...."
"Pregnant, Jack", she finished the sentence for him, giving him a sad smile. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way", she concluded. Wordlessly she invited him inside, and he followed her to her small living room to sit down. He had to find out sometime, and this was not what she'd planned. Unfortunately, this left him in one of those personal situations that she knew would make him totally uncomfortable, and no way of breaking the news was going to make it any easier.
"How many...", he started to say.
"A little over 7 months. I had been meaning to tell you but you got a bit lost offworld. I didn't think it was right to hit you with the news right after you got back."
"So this is why you came through the mirror."
She nodded, "You had to suspect that there was more to why we stayed, didn't you?"
"Uhhhh...." , he silently kicked himself for not being more observant. She didn't seem angry at him, at least.
He looked like he'd just swallowed a bug. His expression was so adorable, and so Jack, she felt the now familiar stab in her heart.
"If it was just Kawalski and me, we probably would have just tried to set the autodestruct and take as many with us as we could. He hated how we left. He said he felt like a coward. So did I, but I promised my Jack, and Charlie promised to look out for me if Jack didn't make it."
"Does everyone know about this?", he motioned to her tummy.
She shook her head, "Dr Frasier and some of the medical staff, General Hammond, and Kawalski. I've been so thin the last few weeks that it was relatively easy to hide. "
"Probably gonna get hard to keep it quiet much longer."
She smiled sadly again, "I know. Janet ordered me home to rest and put on some weight. These last couple of months were pretty difficult."
He felt like a jerk. He had been the cause of her working herself so hard, and putting the baby in danger for his sake was not acceptable. He felt a wave of anger at himself, though there was nothing he could have done.
She watched the emotions cross his handsome features, she him far too well. She had known he'd be angry when he found out that she'd pushed herself for his sake. She knew that she really should have been more careful, but she did it anyway, because she couldn't bear losing him again.
"I'm sorry you're angry, Jack. I know I should have been smarter about this, but I couldn't..... I couldn't...." Her eyes started to get damp, as tears threatened to spill. Jack did the only think he could think of, and moved to gather her into his arms.
***
Later, he did what any normal, self respecting idiot would do. He stopped by a liquor store, drove home and proceeded to get himself drunk. He used to have such a nice life, he thought to himself. Go to work, flirt with Carter, go exploring, kill things occasionally. Come home, play poker every so often. Not a great life, but simple and understandable.
And the day had started out so perfect and promising.
Once again he'd managed to screw everything up. His actions today would probably result in having both Carters mad at him again. He just wanted it all to go away for a little while.
He was pretty drunk when the phone rang. It was Daniel. Crap. Why did he answer the damn phone?
He was drunk and grumpy, and, while he didn't deserve it, he couldn't help but be short. "Dammit, Daniel. This is not a good time. "
He'd barely said, "Ok" and he slammed the phone down and unplugged it. No more interruptions. He figured he could ask Hammond for a transfer to the alpha site in the morning. Maybe for a permanent transfer. He wanted it all to go away.
He stared at his TV, not really watching the game that was on and tried to sort out his predicament. A child, his child. Oh, this was a doozy of a mess. He could not, would not abandon her child. He or she deserved a father, and like it or not, he was it. There was no chance in hell that he would fail the kid. That kind of killed his idea of permanently hiding at the alpha site. Then he realized that there was not enough alcohol in the world to diminish this mess.
He decided to call the only person who might be able to help him out.
"Hello"
"Daniel"
"Jack"
Pause. No response. Daniel finally decided to break the silence by stating the obvious, "What's going on?"
"That's a loaded question, Daniel. You probably don't want to know."
Daniel, being observant in the ways of Jack quickly came to the conclusion that he probably very much did want to know, but that Jack had no clue how to talk about it. It must be serious. It was as close as Jack would get to asking for help.
"Ok..... so, why did you call me?"
"Daniel!", his frustration at *something * was fairly evident.
"Do you want me to come over there?"
Pause. Daniel waited as he heard a heavy sigh.
"Yeah, you should probably do that.... oh, and bring some more beer."
Daniel arrived a short time later to find Jack with a half finished pizza staring at a stack of empty beer bottles.
"Cleaning lady not show up again?" he joked, as he motioned toward the mess on Jack's coffee table.
"Yeah, I should probably fire her, except I don't have a cleaning lady."
"Yeah."
"So, what's new with you?" Jack asked, looking at Daniel as if his arrival was totally normal.
"Well, my friend called and, since he never calls, I figured something odd was happening. Of course, in our line of work, that's quite a stretch", Daniel said.
"Yeah, well, we all have our moments", Jack said, looking as if he really wanted to just melt into the furniture.
Daniel sat down in the chair across from him, feeling perplexed about how to communicate with his friend. He wanted to talk about... something, but it was obvious that he didn't know how. And whatever it was, was even worse than usual. So he sat and waited. Jack would talk when he was ready.
"So, I asked Samantha to marry me. Want a beer?", as he got up to check his fridge.
Daniel marveled at how it was one of those brilliant Jack O'Neill moments. A moment that made him wonder how he and this man ever found common ground as friends.
The news was definitely a shocker, it reached outside Daniel's wildest expectations, especially when he was putting together events of last night and this morning with Sam. "You did WHAT? I mean.... why?"
Jack's face appeared pained. He so did not want to talk about this, and Daniel couldn't help but feel sympathy for his friend.
"She's pregnant, Daniel."
"Jack, not you and..."
"No!!!", Jack cut him off. "It's not like that at all! I never touched her, I swear. It's why she came through the mirror in the first place."
"Oh", Daniel said, as he gave his best goldfish impression. "I can't believe I didn't notice. We were so busy the last few months..."
"Join the club, Daniel." He paced, waving a beer bottle, finally stopping sitting and putting his head in his hands. "So, what am I supposed to do? Genetically, the kid is mine. I can't just leave her like this."
Daniel slowly pulled out of the shock and digested the information, and found himself starting to smile. This moment was just too brilliant. Something this completely bizarre could only happen to Jack O'Neill.
"Don't even think about laughing, Daniel. This is not, I repeat NOT, funny."
Daniel sobered in sympathy, but kept smiling, "Jack, this could only happen to you".
Pause. Jack was staring at his beer, looking miserable. Daniel finally had to prod for more information. "So, did she say yes?"
"No"
"No, you won't tell me?"
"She said 'no', Daniel."
"Why?"
"She said there would be too many issues", Jack sighed sadly and looked straight at his friend and admitted both to Daniel and himself, "She's right. She knows it's not what either of us would want."
"Well, do you love her?"
"What kind of a question is that?"
"I don't know. Normally, when you ask someone to marry you, there's usually a good reason."
"Yes... no.... Hell, Daniel, I don't know!"
"Does Sam know?"
"No!"
The challenge of extracting information from Jack was something that Daniel frequently pondered. He briefly thought that this particular conversation was going to go down as a classic in his memory. He could spend years analyzing it.
"Ok, Jack. So, Samantha's expecting a baby. You found out and asked her to marry you. She said 'no'. Sam has no clue about any of this and you are sitting here wondering...."
"Wondering how I am supposed to tell Sam any of this. Samantha ordered me to talk to her."
"Samantha ordered you."
"Don't go there."
"Ok. Why would you be the one to tell her then and not Samantha."
"Because, well, actually, I don't know. You're the smart one. You tell me."
Daniel lowered his head into his hands. The man was hopeless. He gave a heavy sigh and looked back to Jack.
"Jack. Normally, I'd say you got yourself into this, but I know you are just trying to do the right thing. This isn't the kind of situation where you can just react. You've got to think this through."
"Daniel...", Jack warned.
"No Jack, think! You and Samantha are friends. She wouldn't have confided in you if you weren't, right?"
"I S'pose so."
"She obviously wants you to be involved with this baby, right?"
Jack stared at his unopened beer bottle, and grunted affirmatively.
"You and she are not romantically involved, correct?"
Jack gave him a warning glare.
"Ok, not involved", Daniel continued. "So, she wants you to tell Sam."
Jack interrupted, "Now that's the part I don't get".
"No, Jack, she doesn't want to come between you and Sam."
"Oh crap. Sam. "
"Jack?...."
Jack looked pained. Getting shot was so much easier than this.
"Daniel?"
Jack's reaction made Daniel just a tad suspicious. "Jack, is there something going on with you and Sam?"
The look he got told him enough.
"Jack, just talk to her. You and Sam have something...", he paused, hoping to get a reaction. He was answered with a groan, Jack's head was down, holding a beer bottle against it as if to ward off the impending headache. That gave Daniel his answer, and he continued, "Sam's really been through a lot as a result of this whole situation. If there's any more that's going to mess with her, it should come from you. Samantha knows that, because she knows you and she knows Sam. Sam respects you. She trusts you and, unfortunately, you are the one in the middle here."
Jack looked down, and nodded in affirmation and defeat. He had been hoping that Daniel would find some way to bail him out of this one. No such luck. He was the one in the middle alright.
He missed the days when hu once only daydreamed of having a second Carter around, back then, he'd come up with scenarios that were much more fun. The reality of it was not at all like his fantasy. He inwardly shifted to that old fantasy for a moment, as any good man should.
"Jack...". Oh, crap. Leave it to Daniel to interrupt a perfectly good thought.
"What!"
"So, you'll talk to Sam?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want me to call her for you?"
"No... but maybe you could give me a ride to her place. This should be done in person, and I am just in no shape to drive right now."
+
He arrived on Sam's doorstep, still quite drunk. At this particular moment, he was thinking that was a good thing. Liquid courage, his Dad used to call it.
Daniel left to go check on Samantha, and see if she needed anything. Thank goodness for that, as Jack was ready to start doting over Samantha and the baby. He figured that something like that might not sit too well with Sam. Heck, maybe Daniel would marry Samantha. He figured if he wasn't going to be married to Samantha to raise his own kid, Daniel would be a good second choice to look after them.
He was sure it was all the alcohol that was making him think things through so clearly.
Sam answered her door, as Daniel pulled out of the driveway, and looked into the unfocussed gaze of her Colonel.
"Hellooooo Carturr."
She chuckled at the sight of him. "Hi Jack. What brings you here?"
"Daniel."
Uh huh. She'd figured that out already. She was smart like that. Well, with Daniel driving off, he was her problem now.
"Would you like to come in, Sir?", she felt odd calling him Sir, but old habits die hard, she thought. She was thrilled to see him again, but things were still new between them, and with his current state, she felt more comfortable as a friend than a lover. She fought off a huge smile, but her eyes sparkled with laughter anyway. She did the only thing she could do, invited him in.
"S'pose so." He looked into that gorgeous smile and decided that he was really happy to see her, and he briefly forgot why he had stopped by..
He dozed on the couch while she made coffee. A couple of hours and several cups of coffee later, he came back to the reality of why he was there in the first place. Damn. Too bad the effect of the alcohol was only temporary.
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Settle in for a good long story! My first fanfic and I really went all out to make it special. Hope you enjoy. Site Navigation
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