Three Corners of a Square
Three Corners of a Square
by Floopygirl
Summary: Ep tag for "Shades of Grey", Jack's team aren't dealing so well with his return.
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Episode Related: 318 Shades of Grey
Season: Season 3
Pairing: Team
Rating: GEN
Warnings: none
Author's Notes: Thank you to Fallenbelle and Jack for beta'ing this for me.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/28/05
Three Corners of a Square Complete 21/05/05
Sam made one last attempt to probe the innards of the device in front of her, only to snag the delicate tool she was holding on a component. She watched in horror as the artifact flew from her hands and soared briefly through the air, before striking the floor and shattering. Biting her lip as a cautionary measure against any stray tears, she bent down and swept the pieces into her hand. She didn't see how she could repair it, but really didn't want to be the one to explain to the scientists at Area 51 that she'd destroyed one of the devices they were waiting for her to ship over. General Hammond had already pulled some strings so that she could keep it for an extra week as it was.
Sam deposited the fragments gently into a tray and settled back into her seat, taking a moment to calm herself. Her neck and head ached, probably from hunching over the damaged device, or maybe just from simple tension. As the droning from her computers seemed to increase in volume the dull ache flared, centering itself behind her ears. Sam stopped trying to work out why she was in pain, merely longing for peace and quiet. On an average day she considered her lab to be as peaceful as anywhere on base, and was more than able block out the whirring of the cooling fans, but today wasn't an average day even for someone who worked in the SGC.
The aching in her head intensified and she closed her eyes in response, massaging the tight muscles in her neck with one hand. Maybe she should take something for the pain.
"Major Carter, may I be of any assistance?"
Her eyes snapped open. Sam had no idea how long Teal'c had been standing in her doorway, but hoped he hadn't been watching her for too long. She forced her lips to curve upwards, hoping the grimace would pass for a smile. "It's just a headache, but thanks." Teal'c's eyes fell to the tray containing the fragments of what might have been a communication device, or maybe even an alien barometer (she'd never know now), silently questioning her. How was it that he never missed anything?
"I'll fix it," she added. And there was another lie. Abruptly she hated herself: why was it okay for anyone the world over to slip up, except for Sam Carter, theoretical physicist and Major in the US Air Force?
Because if she slipped up then the world would crumble failure was a luxury for those who didn't defend their planet against a galaxy of potential enemies.
"O'Neill is still being debriefed by General Hammond," Teal'c said. Her thoughts interrupted, Sam automatically glanced down at her watch; the Colonel had been in with the General for hours. Still, he'd just uncovered a huge conspiracy that could have had horrendous consequences for the entire human race. She wryly noted that the paperwork would take weeks to sort out: the Colonel would not be happy.
Suddenly she realised that she'd been sitting in silence, lost in her own thoughts, while Teal'c watched her intently. That was the thing about Teal'c: half the time he spoke bluntly, stating the obvious, but the other half he said just enough to start a conversation or line of thought going and then sat back, carefully observing the results and monitoring people's reactions. Most of the time she didn't mind, but on a bad day he made her feel like a subject of a lab experiment, or a contender on one of those ghastly reality TV shows.
"I wish we could be in there," she replied. And she did. The last few weeks had been filled with worry and speculation as she tried to calculate precisely how she could have misjudged her commanding officer so badly, while frequently reminding herself she'd always been better at working out equations than reading real live people. She needed to feel like they were all part of a team again and found that being excluded from a meeting with one of her teammates wasn't helping, irrational though it might be.
"Indeed." Sam looked at him carefully, trying to see behind the mask of Jaffa opacity. Did he feel as hurt and angry as she did? Did he feel betrayed, even though he understood the Colonel's actions and would have done the same thing in his place? Was he bitter that the Colonel had led them all to believe that he was retiring to a life of peaceful domesticity on Edora with the woman who wanted to bear his child?
Sam checked herself before her mind could wander even further astray. She was pretty certain that her last question hadn't occurred to Teal'c, and as for the others, she just couldn't tell. He didn't seem tense or unhappy or filled with some unholy Jaffa need for revenge, he was just Teal'c. Maybe she could see a glimmer of sympathy flickering in his eyes, but maybe she was just imagining it.
She didn't want his concern, and stood up abruptly. "We should go for drinks."
Teal'c merely quirked an eyebrow; Sam wished he would speak but he clearly wasn't going to, so she continued, "The Colonel isn't going to be free for hours and there's no point in waiting around here. We might as well get Daniel and find a bar somewhere."
As Teal'c regarded her steadily, she wondered what he thought of the human reaction to drink alcohol when things were falling apart. Did he feel towards her and her teammates the same mild repugnance that she had when she saw a wino swaying down the street, a brown-bagged bottle in one hand? She didn't want to ask.
"I believe Daniel Jackson is in his laboratory," he announced. "We should look for him there."
Sam felt a faint giddiness of relief. It wasn't that she consciously sought out Teal'c's approval, but his silent censure always chilled her. "Let's go."
***
It hadn't been until the cab driver asked for their destination that Sam and Daniel realised they hadn't decided on which bar they should go to. Daniel suggested a place he'd been to with Jack a couple of times that had seemed pretty quiet, figuring that they weren't exactly looking for an evening of heavy partying. The only problem was that he'd only been there before on weekdays, and apparently the place came alive on Friday nights.
Teal'c had suggested `relocating to a less noisy establishment', which seemed a little out of character: since coming to Earth his initial distaste for hectic bars had soon given way to a preference for busier venues, where he could people-watch and gain `a deeper understanding of Earth culture'. Sam had vetoed moving however, claiming that if they were going to sit around waiting for a cab for an hour or so then they might as well just settle in for the whole evening. Daniel didn't really feel up for any serious conversation and realised that talking would be all but impossible in all the noise, so he'd made a point of agreeing with Sam, and Teal'c backed down when he realised he was outvoted.
Feeling a little fuzzy after a few drinks (or rather, several hours of trying to keep up with Sam), Daniel was slightly concerned that Teal'c was getting a rather one-sided education into Earth recreation. Maybe the next time they all went out as a group, they should all go to the theatre or something except finding appropriate headwear for Teal'c might be challenging. Still they'd come up with something, and he made a mental note to try and book tickets for some suitably cultural event next time the team had some scheduled leave.
Daniel watched in amusement as yet another man approached Sam, this one spouting some line about angels who'd fallen from heaven. She sent him on his way quickly enough, with a brush-off that was considerably less polite than the ones she'd been using earlier that evening, and stepped closer to Daniel. He felt an arm snake around his waist.
"Sam?"
She shrugged at the tension in his voice. "What? I'm sick of having guys hit on me, aren't you?"
He tried to work out exactly what she meant he was upset with having guys hit on her? On him? and then figured it didn't really matter. He could see her point and didn't mind being used as a distraction.
"What about Teal'c?"
She shrugged. "He can take care of himself, and you look more friendly."
Daniel looked at their teammate, who didn't exactly look happy. "True. Teal'c, is everything okay?"
There was a pause, and just when Daniel decided he wasn't going to get an answer Teal'c replied, "Are we not going to contact O'Neill to let him know we are here?"
Daniel looked at Sam and found that she was avoiding his gaze. When she'd found him in his office earlier that day she hadn't suggested inviting Jack out with them, and he hadn't mentioned it either. He'd assumed that Teal'c also felt that they needed some time on their own to adjust to the day's revelations; apparently he didn't.
Sam still didn't look up, so he answered reluctantly. "He has our phone numbers and I'm sure he'd call if he wanted to meet up. He probably wants to crash after his last mission." Daniel winced at the emphasis he'd placed on the word `his'.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Indeed." There was silence.
Sam took a long gulp of her beer, finishing off the bottle. "Anyone want another drink?"
Daniel stood up quickly. "I'll get it. Teal'c, you want anything?"
Teal'c didn't say anything so Daniel took that as a no and walked over to the bar, eager to escape all the tension. He understood Teal'c's distaste for having a `team night' without their team leader he felt it as well but things were still so raw between them all. No matter how heartfelt Jack's apology had been and how little choice he'd had over his actions, Daniel couldn't deny that the comments he'd made still rankled. Maybe he was being petulant but he wanted just one evening to vent his feelings things could go back to normal the next day.
On impulse he ordered two tequila shots instead of beers and carried them carefully back to his table, ignoring Teal'c's raised eyebrow.
The alcohol stung the back of his throat and Daniel blinked hard, trying not to sputter. He watched jealously as Sam didn't flinch at all her only reaction was a deepening of the colour in her cheeks. To a casual observer she looked like just another carefree woman out for the night with her friends, but a casual observer wouldn't know of the rigid self-control she maintained at all times and how unusual it was for her to drink so purposefully. It was obvious that she was as frustrated with the happenings of the past few weeks as he was possibly more so. Still, Daniel had no doubt that she'd be back to acting like the perfect second-in-command the following day, and would carefully conceal any signs of a hangover.
That said, he was still a little surprised when she stood up and announced that she was going to the bar to get another round of shots. As she walked off, not swaying but definitely lacking her usual grace, Daniel caught Teal'c's eye and suffered another rush of discomfort. Suddenly it wasn't just his relationship with Jack that felt precarious.
"She wouldn't be able to relax if Jack were here," Daniel said, finding himself compelled to defend his teammate even though he knew that Sam would have resented the interference.
"Indeed."
Abruptly Daniel felt guilty, because he and Sam had chosen to obscure their hurt one way and had just dragged Teal'c along, not thinking about what the Jaffa wanted or even how he really felt. They'd just assumed that he needed some space, as they did. Maybe he didn't. Maybe the years Teal'c had spent putting his personal feelings aside in the service of his `god' meant that he could understood Jack's behaviour much better than Sam and Daniel himself were able to. Maybe the disapproval he sensed from his friend was deserved.
He didn't like those thoughts and didn't really want to deal with them, so when Sam returned with their shots unsurprisingly, she'd been served far more quickly that he had he downed the tequila eagerly. This time he couldn't suppress his grimace, and was surprised to realise that his cheeks were numb and that he was more drunk than he had thought. He was ashamed.
"Sam, how about we head back?"
"Already?" she replied.
"We can go to mine I've got drinks there." Several bottles of rather expensive wine and some twenty year old brandy that had been a gift, but he was happy to share it with Sam if it would reconcile her to leaving. He just wanted to forget about the whole evening and what he now melodramatically perceived as his `betrayal', and it would be easier to pretend things were `normal' in his own home .
For a minute Sam looked annoyed and Daniel wondered whether he'd have to argue, and then she shrugged. "Fine, why not?"
It was late enough that there were a couple of cabs waiting outside the bar and the three teammates took the first one. Daniel looked at Teal'c in silent apology, sorry for the whole night and sorry that they hadn't called Jack earlier. He considered phoning Jack right then, but both he and Sam were drunk and he wasn't sure how happy Sam would be about talking to her CO in such a state. The idea certainly didn't fill him with joy.
Finally they pulled up outside his flat and Daniel handed the cab driver some notes. He helped Sam out of the cab she was swaying a little now only to realise that Teal'c hadn't moved. "Teal'c, are you coming?"
Teal'c looked at him impassively. "Not tonight, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel considered arguing, or protesting, or doing something, but decided to let it go. What would he say anyway: it's a team night and you should come up? Not a very convincing argument, given the circumstances. He closed the door behind him and concentrated on helping Sam up the steps to his door. They'd sort out everything the next day.
************************************
Jack had spent his evening hoping the doorbell would ring and hoping it wouldn't. Turning the television on and then turning it off again. Taking the whiskey out of the cabinet, looking at it and then regretfully choosing yet another bottle of beer instead.
He resented not being able to relax in his own house. He made sure that he did all his work on base it wasn't as if he ever had any papers that he could take out of the mountain anyway so his home was his refuge, where he slept and watched cartoon DVDs and did anything but think about his job. When he had nightmares after a particularly bad mission and woke up in the middle of the night, shaking and tangled in damp sheets, he'd always leave his house and go for a run, weather permitting. He preferred to work through the tension, fear and horror away from the place he lived and slept.
Except that evening Jack didn't feel like running, or going out at all. He pretended to himself that the sky threatened rain, but he knew the clouds didn't look at all threatening. He wanted to be at home in case anyone stopped by, and yet he didn't want to phone his teammates and find out what they were doing because they needed time and space, and probably didn't need their commanding officer breathing down their necks.
Except knowing and doing what was best for his team didn't stop Jack from feeling bitter. Maybe he needed noise and distractions, but no one seemed to care. He could have stayed on base for the night and heckled with the on-duty airmen, but they weren't the company he wanted.
Sometimes command could be very lonely.
So he wasn't going to phone his friends, he wasn't going to go out, and he couldn't sit still. The only course of action left to him seemed to be to pace around his house, restless as a caged animal, no matter how frustrating it might be. He felt as if he were stuck in one of those briefings that seemed to drag on for hours, listening to Daniel droning on and on about the cultural significance of a broken pot, or to Carter babbling (not mindlessly, never mindlessly, but sometimes it seemed like it) about types of ore and percentage yields and the pollutants an extraction process might (or would) release. Of course he never fidgeted around Teal'c: even when explaining some boring minutia of Jaffa life, Teal'c had a way of making people pay attention. He was a natural born teacher.
And yet Teal'c had given his son into the care of another. Jack wondered, not for the first time, how Teal'c really felt about living away from his family while he fought on another planet, ostensibly on behalf of a world that wasn't his. It was too painful for him to think about far more painful than considering Daniel and Sam's tendency to use five words when one would do and spurred him to make another visit to his liquor cabinet. Putting the whiskey away untouched was becoming harder each time.
When someone finally knocked on his door it was almost an anticlimax, and it wasn't hard to persuade himself to take his time in answering.
He'd expected to see all three of his teammates standing on his porch, not just Teal'c. Pleasure mingled with distaste: had they drawn straws to determine who should visit him again? But surely they wouldn't be so tactless. He felt cold: why had Teal'c come alone?
Teal'c obviously grew tired of waiting to be invited in because he finally pushed his way past Jack and headed straight for the sitting room, settling into the couch. Jack followed him, still feeling somewhat off balance, a bottle of beer clutched in one hand.
"Can I get you a " Jack gestured with his beer and then realised his mistake, " A soda?"
Teal'c bowed his head and Jack headed back to the kitchen, rummaging in his fridge to see what he had. After a couple of weeks off world he seriously needed to do some grocery shopping, but he found a couple of cans of coke lurking behind some rotting vegetables.
Jack returned to his friend and resisted the urge to toss the can to him soda stains wouldn't do much for the decor handing it to Teal'c instead. Then he sat down in a nearby chair, feeling awkward, not knowing where to start.
Overenthusiastic banter was always a good place. "So Teal'c, did ya miss me?"
Teal'c regarded him steadily. "Colonel Makepeace did not command all of my respect, O'Neill. I believe that Major Carter and Daniel Jackson felt the same way."
That wasn't the light-hearted response he'd hoped for, but was oddly comforting nonetheless. "Even before you knew Makepeace was a traitor?"
Teal'c nodded again. "Indeed."
"Cool." Jack took another swig of his beer. "Seriously though, did you miss me?"
Teal'c didn't reply but his lips curved upwards ever so slightly: Jack figured that was as much as he was going to get. "Right."
He fidgeted slightly. Though he counted Teal'c as one of his best friends, they were action-buddies, not the type who sat around and talked. Mind you, Jack didn't really sit around and talk with anyone except for Daniel, occasionally, and that wasn't normally through choice. And Jack didn't want to come out and ask the question he really wanted the answer to, so...
"Do you feel like heading into base and sparring a little?" Jack wasn't particularly keen on the idea, but it was one way of showing Teal'c how much he appreciated his visit. If that meant letting the Jaffa beat him into a bloody pulp or, to be more realistic, leaving him bruised and aching for days, then so be it.
"I believe that would be unwise after the alcohol you have consumed, O'Neill."
Jack looked at the bottle in his hand. "Right." He took one last gulp of beer and then put it aside on the table. "So." They were silent once again, and Jack started fiddling with the clasp of his wrist-watch.
"There was no dishonour in your actions, O'Neill."
Jack felt suddenly exposed how was that Teal'c always seemed to read his mind? and reached back for the beer bottle. "I know that."
"As do Daniel Jackson and Major Carter."
"Sure." Jack cursed the sarcasm in his tone.
"They struggled to understand your actions on Tollana and your subsequent resignation, as did I." Jack was amazed to see that Teal'c almost looked uncomfortable almost. "Now they need time to accept the truth."
Jack felt a spark of anger flare within him, but forced it to subside. He understand what Teal'c was saying, even if he didn't like it. Wasn't that what he'd suspected would happen all along?
"But you?" He stopped.
Teal'c made a small gesture that served to remind Jack both of Teal'c's age and his long experience in carrying out duties he found personally distasteful, even as it reproached him for needing to have matters spelt out.
"Right," Jack said. "Sorry."
Teal'c bowed his head.
Jack searched for an easier topic of conversation there was no point in taking out his bitterness on Teal'c. "There's a late night hockey game on tonight; I don't suppose you feel like watching it?"
The glare he received in return left him in no doubt as to the Jaffa's feelings for the idea. "Great. No hockey then."
He found himself yawning slightly as he wondered how long this awkward yet enlightening conversation would last. He wasn't quite having the relaxing evening, complete with beer and pizza, that he'd hoped for. Of course he had already eaten on base, but still...
"Hey Teal'c, do you want to order pizza?"
"Only if it comes from Pizza Hut, O'Neill."
"But I prefer Domino's." Jack didn't like the faint whine that came into his voice, but decided to pretend he hadn't heard it.
"You merely prefer Domino's because they sponsor the Simpsons, O'Neill." Jack marveled at the way Teal'c could radiate smugness, all without moving a muscle.
"Your point being?" Jack stared at Teal'c, who clearly wasn't going to budge. "I have just come back from an off-world secret mission." Nope, no budging. "Fine: they have better garlic bread anyway."
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Indeed."
Jack called up his local Pizza Hut to order their usual pizzas and then hung up. Again Teal'c didn't say anything. Jack wondered how Teal'c could spend so much of his time in silence: Jack found it oppressive and always felt compelled to fill it. Or maybe that was the point.
His anger suddenly seemed pointless. While part of him wanted to cultivate it and keep listening to the tiny voice that screamed about betrayal and how he had the right to take out his feelings on the people around him, he knew better. He could do better.
"Thanks buddy." Jack spoke so quietly that he wasn't sure the Jaffa would hear him. "I owe you."
Sam would have flushed and stared down at the floor, and Daniel would have embraced him in some sort of a man hug, leaving Jack feeling embarrassed and more than a little uncomfortable. Teal'c merely clasped his arm below the elbow, holding it firmly, and Jack returned the grip, his chest tightening with unfamiliar emotion.
He broke away awkwardly. "I'd better go ready the guest room, if you want to stay the night?"
Teal'c nodded. "I would be most grateful."
As he made up Teal'c's bed not that the Jaffa would use it, but still Jack found himself smiling at how after three years on Earth, Teal'c still spoke with an almost painful formality. He thought about everything Teal'c had said that evening, both with words and through silence.
The sting of seeing Teal'c standing alone on his doorstep had eased; he knew that, given time, the team would bounce back from everything that had happened. It always did. As it was, he found the one-on-one time with Teal'c soothing, and maybe a night of quiet comradeship with a brother-in-arms was better than an evening spent in a noisy group after all.
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