Blank Slate
Blank Slate
by L.E McMurray
Summary: Sara O'Neill finds something unusual in the spare room, Daniel Jackson.
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Smarm
Episode Related: 001 Stargate - The Movie, 204 The Gamekeeper, 310 Forever in a Day, 413 The Curse, 606 Abyss
Season: future Season
Pairing: Daniel/Share, Jack/Sara
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 05/02/03
Author's Notes: Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing. This is a sequel to Beginnings but it's not necessary to have read it. All you need know is Jack and Sara are married again. This is set at the beginning of Season Seven using the only two things I know about Daniel coming back. He's naked and has amnesia. All comments welcome.
Sara hummed to herself as she picked up the groceries out of the car and headed back to the house. Jack was away on one of his 'missions' at the moment so it was dinner for one again.
The thing was she didn't mind it as much as she thought she would. Over the last few years she'd become used to her space and the fact he was gone every so often meant she appreciated having him around more.
When she dropped the bags in the kitchen she wandered through to the spare room, they were still sorting things from when she'd moved in and a lot of stuff they had no space for had just been thrown into the spare room.
Picking up the CD she wanted she headed back to the kitchen to fix things. An hour later she was curled up on the couch finishing off her book when she heard a thud.
"What's fallen now?" she sighed, "It'd better not have been breakable."
Shaking her head knowing she'd have to sort things out one of these days she stopped in shock. Lying, completely naked and unconscious on the floor was a man.
Sara stared at him; he was familiar.
"Oh my God," she breathed as it hit her, "Daniel Jackson?"
Staring at his prone figure for a few seconds she came out of her trance seeing that he was shivering. Sara yanked the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around him before grabbing the phone.
She hunted through the bits of paper for the number Jack had given her that was to be used in dire emergencies only. She finally found it and took a few deep breaths in to calm herself to talk before she dialled.
"Can I speak to Colonel Jack O'Neill?" she asked keeping an eye on the unconscious man lying there.
"I'm afraid Colonel O'Neill is not available," the woman at the other end of the phone said, "Can I take a message?"
"No," Sara said, "Is Dr Janet Fraiser available?"
"Hold please."
"Fraiser?" Janet answered.
"Janet, it's Sara O'Neill," Sara told her.
"Sara? How did you get this number?" Janet asked shocked.
"Jack gave me it for emergencies," Sara explained quickly, "Janet, I was sitting reading and I heard a thud from the spare room. I found a man lying there."
"A man?"
"Janet it's Daniel Jackson," Sara said hearing a strange banging from the other end of the phone, "Janet? Are you still there? Janet?"
"Are you sure?" Janet demanded.
"I've seen his picture," Sara told her, "I'm as sure as I can be."
"Okay, Sara is he awake?"
"No, he's been unconscious since I found him," Sara reported, "I've covered him with a blanket but he's still lying on the floor."
"Don't move him," Janet told her, "Just keep him warm. If he wakes up reassure him and I'll be there as soon as possible."
Sara hung up the phone and turned to the young man lying there, he was still shivering so she found a few more blankets. Kneeling beside him she placed a pillow under his head and covered him with the blankets.
As she touched his forehead to check for fever his eyes opened and he caught her hand, confusion filled his crystal blue eyes.
"Easy," she soothed, "I'm a friend."
He stared at her clearly confused and scared.
"It's alright," Sara gently stroked his hair to calm him, "Just relax, Janet will be here soon."
Daniel stared at her before relaxing as she continued to calm him closing his eyes.
"Sara!!" Jack called.
"In here," she called back as Daniel jumped. Daniel grabbed her hand holding it tightly like a lifeline as Jack and Janet came running in.
"Danny," Jack said softly moving to him, Daniel scrambled away confusion in his eyes still holding onto Sara.
"Jack, you're scaring him," Sara said confused, as Daniel hid against her.
Janet moved down, "Daniel, do you know who we are?"
Daniel stared at them giving no indication if he'd heard or understood her.
"Colonel, we have to get him to the base," Janet said, "Sara, if you move I think he'll go with you."
Sara nodded and gently she stood up guiding Daniel to join her. Wrapping the blanket's tightly around him they managed to get him to the jeep outside. Sara sat in the back letting the young man lean against her, she could see he was in pain but she seemed to be comforting him as she stroked his hair.
As they pulled into the base Sam and Teal'c came running over to them.
"Back off," Jack ordered, "I'll explain once Janet has him in the infirmary."
Sam and Teal'c looked at each other baffled and worried but did as they were told watching from a distance as Daniel emerged from the jeep clinging to Sara.
"Well Doctor?" Hammond asked as they sat around the table.
Janet sighed, looking at her hopefully were Jack, Sam and Teal'c. Jonas kept his face blank unsure about how he felt.
"From the tests I've managed to do," Janet said taking her seat, "It is Daniel and he seems to be perfectly healthy, more or less."
"More or less?" Jack demanded.
"Colonel, Daniel told you himself he was pure energy," Janet continued, "He's experiencing the return to his physical body which means his senses are probably overloaded."
"Why is he only letting Sara near him?" Sam asked.
"She was who he saw when he woke up, I think her tending then made him trust her and he doesn't have the energy to let anyone else in just yet," Janet said, "Hopefully once his body has managed to deal with the changes he'll become more lucid."
"Good," Teal'c rumbled as Sam nodded her assent.
Hammond dismissed them heading back to his office followed by Jack.
"Colonel," Hammond said, "Is Sara alright staying with Dr. Jackson?"
"She knows Daniel's my friend," Jack told him, "She's confused about what the hell is going on but she will stay until he's able to be without her support."
"Colonel, I don't need to tell you..."
"She'll stay in the infirmary and will get nowhere near the Gate," Jack promised, "The room she's in has had the alarm system removed. She won't know about the Stargate."
"You should go and make sure she's alright," Hammond told him.
Jack nodded and left as Hammond sat down to make a phone call.
Sara looked up as Jack walked in.
"Hey," he softly kissed the top of her head, "How's he doing?"
"At the moment he seems to be sleeping," Sara told him, "But anytime I remove my hand he becomes panicky."
"Sara, I know how confusing this must be for you but..."
Sara gently touched his cheek with her free hand, "It's okay. I know this is top secret I'm not going to ask."
Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulders letting her lean back against him as she kept one hand resting on Daniel's forehead.
They looked over when Janet appeared.
"Hey Doc," Jack said, "Any more news?"
Janet sighed, "Not yet. I know he's in pain but I don't want to give him anything because I could end up doing some damage to his recovery."
Jack nodded feeling Sara squeeze his hand.
"Sara is giving him comfort," Janet said looking at the other woman, "It's bizarre how your presence is doing that."
It was almost three am and Sara was fast asleep Jack holding her while her hand still gently touched Daniel's. Jack was sipping some coffee to keep himself awake. A confused murmur made Jack look up.
"Daniel?" Jack whispered seeing the blue eyes opened and looking around in bewilderment.
Daniel stared at him, "Colonel?" he asked his voice hoarse.
"I'm going to get the Doc," Jack smiled with relief, "Just don't move."
Daniel stared after Jack as he disappeared before moving his hand away from the woman holding it in her sleep.
His mind felt muggy, his whole body strange and heavy watching as the Colonel reappeared with another man.
"Well it's nice to see you awake Dr. Jackson," the other man said.
"Where..." Daniel tried to say.
"Janet's at home with Cassie," Jack said, "Dr Warner's on duty just now."
Daniel pressed his hands to his face, "What happened?"
"What's the last thing you remember?" Dr Warner asked him.
"I was working," Daniel replied, "Translating the cover-stone."
"What?" Jack said sharply, "What cover-stone?"
"The one Dr Langford hired me for Colonel," Daniel told him looking puzzled.
Jack motioned to Dr Warner and they moved to one side.
"It appears he has amnesia," Warner explained, "From before the opening of the Stargate."
"Well this is going to be great fun," Jack grimaced, "I'm going to move Sara to a bed then we can go over what he knows."
Warner nodded, "He does know you so it will be easier to have you nearby."
With Sara now sleeping in one of the beds Jack and Warner returned to talk to Daniel who was sitting up against his pillows.
"Here," Jack handed him some water, "Drink this."
"Thank you," Daniel murmured letting the liquid soothe his throat.
"Okay," Jack said, "I want you to tell me everything you remember from before you woke up."
"I was working on the cover-stone," Daniel told him, "I felt slightly dizzy, I skipped dinner so I decided to get something to eat then I woke up here."
"Dr Jackson, you were involved in an accident," Warner told him, "I'm going to keep you here for the moment."
Daniel nodded his eyes shutting.
"Get some more sleep," Warner told him, "We can go over more in the morning."
Daniel slid back down and fell asleep almost instantly as Jack looked worriedly at the doctor.
"In the morning Colonel," Warner told him, "In the morning."
"Major Carter!"
Sam turned to see Jonas jogging up to her, "Morning," she smiled, "What's up?"
"Dr Jackson woke up," Jonas told her, "General Hammond wants us in the briefing room."
"Daniel's awake?" Sam asked her eyes lighting up, "And he's okay?"
Jonas shrugged, "All I know is he was lucid early this morning. The news he's back has spread pretty fast."
"Let's go see what they want," Sam couldn't stop her grin, as they headed to the briefing room.
"Good," Hammond said as they joined them.
"He's awake?" Sam asked just to clarify.
"Daniel woke up about three o'clock this morning," Jack told them all, "But..."
"But?" Teal'c asked.
"Well the good news is he knows me," Jack told them.
"And the bad news?" Sam asked.
"His memory stops from before he opened the Stargate," Jack shrugged.
"He doesn't remember the Stargate?" Jonas asked.
"Nope," Jack leaned back, "Only that he was trying to figure out the cover-stone."
"So he won't remember us," Sam indicated the rest of the table.
"You get to make a much better first impression Carter," Jack grinned at her.
Sam rolled her eyes at him, "Can we see him?"
"Not yet Sam," Janet said joining them, "He's still sleeping. General at the moment I feel that bombarding him with people all claiming to know him is not the thing to do. He knows Colonel O'Neill. So for the moment I am only allowing the Colonel in to see him."
"Janet..." Sam started to protest.
"Sam, I know you're anxious to see him but this is the best thing for Daniel right now," Janet told her, "We don't want to overwhelm him."
Sam sighed and nodded.
"Colonel," Janet said, "He should be waking up soon."
Jack nodded and the two headed towards the infirmary.
Daniel groaned opening his eyes, still feeling strange and sore.
"Hi Daniel," a voice came from his side.
"Colonel O'Neill," Daniel turned to look at him, "What's going on?"
"You remember being told you were in an accident?" Jack asked.
"Slightly," Daniel sighed pulling himself up to sit, "Why are you here?"
Jack frowned; he'd seen that look in Daniel's eyes when they first met.
"Cause I'm your friend," Jack told him, "Daniel, this probably isn't the best time in the world to hit you with this but I doubt there will be a good time."
Daniel looked at him confused, "With what?"
"Okay," Jack took in a deep breath, "Daniel, the accident you were in caused you to lose a little of your memory."
"How little?"
"About eight years," Jack grimaced seeing the look of horror and disbelief that covered Daniel's face.
"Eight...eight years?"
"Yeah," Jack sighed.
"Eight years?" Daniel cried.
"You need to calm down," Jack told him, "We'll work on your memory."
"Eight years?" Daniel asked again.
Jack rolled his eyes, "You're just gonna have to accept that concept. Look Daniel I promise you you're safe and that we are your friends."
"I...I don't understand," Daniel whispered, "Can I talk to Dr Langford?"
Jack shrugged, "I'm trying to get in touch with her but she's away travelling."
"Okay," Daniel rubbed the bridge of his nose, "If I have lost eight years then there should be some things here I should be able to recognise."
Jack nodded, "You're right. I'll talk to the Doc and spring you then we can take a look around."
Daniel watched as the Colonel walked away, this couldn't be right it couldn't. Eight years, it didn't seem real.
"Hi there Daniel," a woman said as she walked over to him, "I'm Dr Janet Fraiser and I just want to make sure you're okay before I let the Colonel take you out of my infirmary. I also want to check up on your allergies."
"Do I know you? Because I don't remember," Daniel told her.
"I know," she said softly, "But yes I do know you and thankfully I know all your medical history so..."
Daniel smiled slightly, "No worries there then."
Janet could see the worry in Daniel's eyes, a look she remembered from certain times she'd had him here. The wariness in his manner was different and she worried how quickly he would remember his life here if he ever did.
"Right," Janet smiled as she finished, "I'll get you some things to wear then Colonel O'Neill will take you around for a while. Don't push yourself and I want you back here in an hour."
Daniel nodded. She seemed sincere enough and was nice but there was nothing about her that seemed even remotely familiar. He desperately needed to find someone who he knew and trusted, if Dr Langford was here he'd feel a lot calmer but she wasn't.
"Hello Daniel," another woman said coming over.
Daniel recognised her as the woman whose hand he'd been holding when he had woken up.
"Hi," Daniel said, "I'm sorry but...
"It's alright I know you don't know me," she smiled, "I'm Sara O'Neill. I'm Jack's wife."
"Oh," Daniel said.
"Don't worry we've never actually met before now," she laughed.
"Oh," he sighed in relief, "That's good. I mean..." Daniel frowned, "If I just met you I don't have to try and remember you."
"I can understand your worry," Sara told him, "Jack is your friend and is very worried about you."
"I don't remember him like that," Daniel cried, "I just feel like I'm in some wacky dream."
Sara squeezed his arm comfortingly.
"Why was I holding your hand when I woke up?" Daniel asked.
Sara smiled at him, "After you were hurt I found you and you were slightly incoherent. You were only calm when I was there."
"Oh," Daniel said thinking about it for a second, "Thank you."
"Hey," Jack appeared giving Sara a quick kiss, "I see you two are getting to know each other."
"Yes we are," Sara squeezed Daniel's arm again.
"Well here," Jack placed down some clothes, "Get dressed and we can go for a wander."
"How is he?" Sam asked as she and Teal'c stood in the infirmary.
"He's getting ready to go for a walk around the base," Jack told them.
"I thought he might want these," Sam gently handed Jack Daniel's glasses she had kept since he left.
"Thanks Carter," Jack told her.
"What will you be showing him?" Teal'c asked.
Jack shrugged, "Just the commissary, the labs, his old office. We can't show him the Gate, at least not yet."
"Can we at least see him?" Sam asked.
"I'll introduce you guys but don't over do it," Jack frowned.
"Colonel," Janet said quietly nodding over as Daniel appeared through the door.
Sam and Teal'c both smiled as he walked over to them.
"Hey Daniel," Jack said, "This is Major Sam Carter and Teal'c."
"Hi," Daniel said very softly, "It's nice to meet you."
"It is good to see you well Daniel Jackson," Teal'c told him with a slight bow.
"You're looking good," Sam smiled.
"I take it I'm supposed to know you both?" Daniel asked.
Jack nodded, "Don't rush it. Here, you might need these."
Daniel took the glasses offered to him and smiled slipping them on looking relieved to be able to see again properly.
"Let's go," Jack motioned him along.
"Well, I do know this place," Daniel said, "I have been working here for the past two weeks."
"There's been some changes," Jack told him, "Did you ever actually make it here?"
Looking into the commissary Daniel nodded, "I do normally eat I just forgot what time it was."
"You use that excuse far too often," Jack told him.
Daniel shifted uncomfortably at Jack's familiarity, "Where to next?"
"Your old office," Jack told him.
"My 'old' office?"
"Yeah," Jack sighed, "You've been away for about a year."
"So there's a year you can't even tell me about?" Daniel cried, "This is insane."
Jack sighed as they walked, "I know."
"So not only have I lost eight years of my life you can't even tell me about the last year of it," Daniel said.
"That about sums it up," Jack told him, "Come on."
Daniel hadn't recognised anything in his office so they had moved on and now he stood in Jack's office looking at the pictures on his desk. Most of them were of him with the Colonel, the Major and the guy they'd called Teal'c. Then he saw one more, a picture that had been put together of him and a woman.
"Who is she?" he asked Jack.
"Ah," Jack sighed, "That would be Sha're, your wife."
"My what?" Daniel stared at it.
"Your wife," Jack said again watching Daniel carefully.
Daniel stared at the picture for a few moments, "Where is she?"
Jack sighed, "She died a few years ago."
"Oh," Daniel said with a shrug, "That's typical."
"You don't recognise her at all?" Jack asked intently.
"Nope."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing," Daniel placed the picture back on the desk, "I'm sorry Colonel but I don't feel anything for her. I don't recognise any of these people. This isn't working."
Jack checked his watch, "Come on the Doc wants you back in the infirmary."
Sitting on his bed in the infirmary Daniel kept trying to bring anything back on the people he'd met and this wife he supposedly had but nothing, nothing was forthcoming. Looking out he saw the doctor wasn't paying any attention to him and he wondered how far he could get without anyone noticing. Softly he walked out of the infirmary and along the corridors, he remembered how to get from here to the commissary and from there he knew how to get out of the base. Nobody paid him any attention as he walked through the base, he supposed they all knew him and weren't paying any real attention to him leaving. When he reached the exit he tensed waiting for someone to pounce and drag him back to the infirmary but no one did.
Now all he had to do was track down someone he knew.
Steven Rayner sat reading while his wife worked on the computer pushing her long red hair out her face every so often. A knock at the door made him glance at the clock, who could that be at this time?
"I'll get it," he called to Eleanor who gave him a quick smile before returning to her work.
Opening the door he stared in shock, "Daniel?"
"Hi," Daniel said very softly, "Steven I need your help."
Steven stared at him then started to laugh, "You want 'my' help?"
"Please Steven," Daniel frowned, "Let me explain."
Steven nodded, "Sure, I'd love to hear this."
Daniel walked in when Steven motioned him to move and stood nervously in the middle of the hall.
"Talk," Steven snapped.
"Before I say anything," Daniel said, "You wouldn't be able to give me the exact year, would you?"
"Why do you want the year?" Steven asked suspiciously.
Daniel licked his lips nervously, "Because apparently I've lost eight of them."
"Really?" Steven asked, "What year do you think it is?"
"1995," Daniel told him, "From what I know it is two weeks since I killed my career in LA. I need to hear from someone I know and trust if I really have lost all that time."
"They've told you the truth," Steven told him, "It's 2003."
Steven looked into the eyes of his former friend and saw the fear there, placing a hand on Daniel's shoulder he moved him into the living room. Eleanor looked up questioningly when they entered.
"Hi," Daniel stared at her.
"Daniel, this is Eleanor," Steven smiled, "My wife."
"Congratulations," Daniel said in surprise, "When did you get married?"
"About six months ago," Steven told him, "Grab a seat then tell me everything."
Daniel sat nervously rubbing his hands, "I was hired by the Air Force to translate a cover-stone, I can't tell you anymore than that mostly cause I really don't know anymore, anyway I was working late one night and felt slightly dizzy. The next thing I know I'm waking up in the infirmary to be told that eight years have passed."
"Wow," Steven murmured.
"And there are all these people who say they know me but," Daniel sighed, "I don't recognise any of them."
"None of them at all?" Steven asked.
"Well...I did recognise one of them," Daniel frowned, "But he was completely different from the way I remember him."
"Different how?" Steven probed.
Daniel stared at the wall, "Other than his hair, the first time I met him which to me was two weeks ago he looked at me like I was nothing more than dirt he wiped off his shoe. But when I woke up he told me we were friends."
"And you don't believe him?"
"I don't know what to believe," Daniel cried in frustration, "I needed to speak to someone who I knew and no offence but you were the only one I was able to track down."
"Daniel," Steven frowned hesitating slightly, "Sarah and Dr Jordan are dead."
"What?" pain filled him, "How?"
"Jordan died in a lab explosion," Steven explained, "And Sarah...to be honest there was something odd about that but according to you and your friends she died in a car crash."
"According to me?" Daniel stared at him.
Steven nodded, "I'll tell you the whole story later but you and two women told me after I was injured in Egypt that Sarah had been killed in a crash."
"What two women?" Daniel asked, "Did you catch their names?"
"Let's see," Steven mused trying to think back, "The blond you called Sam and the other one, red-brown hair was a doctor you called Janet."
"Then I do know them," Daniel closed his eyes, "I don't get why nothing about them is familiar."
Steven saw the exhaustion in the younger man's eyes, "Look I'll get Eleanor to make up the couch and you should get some sleep."
"Thank you," Daniel said, his voice flat as he tried to process what Steven had told him.
"So that's Daniel," Eleanor said, as they both got ready for bed.
"That's our boy genius," Steven sighed, "Still as lost as he was when I knew him."
Eleanor looked at him curiously, "Are you going to explain why you're being such a big brother to him when every other time you've spoken of him it's usually to curse his name?"
Steven shrugged, "We used to be good friends, yes I was and I still am totally jealous of how brilliant he is but that wasn't what..."
"What made you hate him?"
"I never hated him," Steven said, "I hated what he did to himself."
"What?" Eleanor looked at him.
"I've mentioned Sarah a few times," Steven reminded her, "She was a grade A bitch but Daniel fell under her spell and when I tried to warn him..."
"He wouldn't believe you," Eleanor squeezed his hand.
"Then there were his crazy theories and what his distancing himself did to the people who cared for him. I still look on him as a brother though," Steven told her, "And I'm worried about him. El, he's been working with the military for the past eight years God only knows what did this to him."
"Get some sleep," his wife told him, "We can do more for him in the morning."
Steven nodded and slipped in beside his wife switching off the lamp, "Night darling."
Eleanor gently kissed him, "Night."
Light surrounded him.
He felt as light as air, moving without the hindrance of gravity. Suddenly he was heavy again being dragged down, pain filled him every nerve screaming, burning. Daniel woke up gasping for air.
"Daniel?" a gentle voice asked as a hand touched his shoulder.
Daniel flinched away violently before looking round to see Eleanor kneeling beside him. He rubbed his face with his hands trying to get rid of his dream.
"S...s...sorry," he stammered, "I had a strange dream."
"It's alright," she smiled, "Do you want some breakfast?"
Daniel nodded, "I'm really sorry for imposing on you like this."
She smiled, "Don't worry about it. I've always wanted to meet you anyway. Steven's told me a lot about you."
"That sounds ominous," he murmured.
Eleanor laughed, "Not as bad as you would think."
Daniel walked with her into the kitchen looking for a distraction to the confusion he'd felt for the past few days.
"How did you guys meet?" he asked.
"When he was in hospital," Eleanor smiled, "Recovering from an accident he had in Egypt. I was visiting one of my friends who'd broken her leg walking to a dry ski slope and we banged into each other. It took him till the fourth time I 'accidentally' ran into him that he asked me out."
"He seems really happy," Daniel smiled, "I know we never really got on after Sarah..."
"He's mentioned her as well," Eleanor laughed, "Steven does think of you as his friend."
"You know so many people have told me that in the past few days," Daniel laughed bitterly, "It's nice finally to have it said about someone I do know."
"Here," Eleanor handed him a mug of coffee, "I believe this is your poison."
"Steven has talked about me," he laughed before taking a long drink.
They heard the phone ring and Eleanor was about to move when it stopped.
"Good Steven got it," she smiled, "I'm trying to avoid talking to my sister at the moment. She's going through a divorce and I'm getting the fallout."
"Must make life fun," Daniel sympathised feeling more relaxed than he had since he'd woken up.
"Yeah," she laughed back looking over as Steven appeared, "Who was that?"
"A Colonel Jack O'Neill," Steven turned to Daniel, "Looking for you."
"Ah," Daniel frowned, "I take it he's on his way."
"I told him I hadn't seen you," Steven shrugged, "But I'd call if I did."
Daniel relaxed a bit, "I just want to get some things straight in my head before I go back."
"You don't have to go back," Steven said.
"I do," Daniel told him, "I've apparently been working there for the past eight years, my answers are there. I just wanted away from everything for a couple of hours."
"So what have you been doing?" Steven asked later after Eleanor had headed to work, "From what they've told you."
"Well," Daniel leaned back, "From what I've been told I've been working as a translator and studying artefacts brought from somewhere for the past eight years."
"For the Air Force?" Steven asked.
"I don't get that bit either," Daniel shrugged, "Hey apparently I got married too."
"Really?" Steven stared at her, "Where is she?"
"Dead," Daniel told him flatly, "Like everyone else I seem to know, you being the exception."
"May it stay that way," Steven muttered before returning to the subject, "Have they told you anything about your 'wife'?"
"They showed me a picture," Daniel told him, "I think they were expecting me to look at it and just remember. She was very beautiful but..."
"But?"
"But when I looked at the picture that was all I thought," Daniel sighed, "Not that I had known her or I felt something for her. Just that she was beautiful in the way you look at, I don't know a movie star or something."
"I can't imagine that," Steven told him, "El is...well memorable springs to mind."
Daniel laughed, "You're very lucky."
"Don't I know it," Steven smiled, "Daniel, you can stay here as long as you need to."
Daniel stared at him in astonishment, "Why? I mean..."
"Why am I letting you stay when I hated you?" Steven asked for him.
Looking embarrassed Daniel nodded slightly.
"I've never hated you Daniel," Steven told him, "You frustrated me, pissed me off often enough but I never hated you."
"You've no idea how much that..." Daniel trailed off, "I always regretted that we didn't remain friends."
"So did I," Steven smiled.
Daniel took in a deep breath, "I'd better let them know where I am."
"Well any brown hair I had left is now well and truly gone," Jack grimaced when Daniel opened the door to him.
"Hello Colonel," Daniel replied letting him in, "This is Steven Rayner, Steven meet Colonel Jack O'Neill."
Both men nodded and shook hands.
"I needed to find a few things," Daniel told Jack, "Before I came back."
"And did you find them?" Jack asked.
"Yes Colonel I did," Daniel replied harshly.
"For the hundredth time Daniel call me Jack," he cried, "It's not a hard name to remember."
"Daniel, are you sure you want to go," Steven asked.
"Yeah," Daniel sighed turning to Steven, "Thank Eleanor for me and I'll keep in touch."
"You'd better," Steven said clapping Daniel's shoulder.
Without another word Daniel walked out leaving Jack to follow him.
"You nearly gave Janet a heart attack by disappearing on us," Jack told him as he drove them back.
"I needed out," Daniel replied coldly.
"I can understand this being overwhelming for you but we are your friends Daniel," Jack said.
"Would you stop saying that," Daniel cried, "I don't remember any of them. I remember you but..."
"But?"
"I believe the term 'vicious bastard' covers how I remember you," Daniel finished.
"Ow," Jack grimaced, "Unfortunately very true back then."
"To you it's back then," Daniel argued, "To me it's a few days ago. You can't expect me just to suddenly trust you."
Jack sighed, "I know. You don't trust me, but I know you trust Sara."
"I do," Daniel nodded, "I don't know why but I do trust her."
"Then go with that," Jack told him, "Trust her and get to know us again."
"I suppose," Daniel sighed.
"I was wondering when you'd get back," Sara smiled when they drove up to the house.
"I thought we would be going back to the base," Daniel said softly.
"You're not too comfortable there," Jack shrugged, "I thought you'd be happier here for a while."
"Thanks," Daniel sighed.
"The spare room is just along the corridor," Jack told him, "There's some stuff for you there."
Daniel nodded and wandered away.
Sara slipped her arm through Jack's, "What's so bad about letting him leave Jack? Why did you all go crazy when he snuck out?"
Jack sighed, "Sara, Daniel knows a lot. Although it is locked away if he does remember and there's no one there to help him get through the really nasty stuff he's been through, that understands where it comes from..."
"I see," she smiled, "Well let's get some food."
After lunch Daniel was staring out the window as Sara cleaned up and Jack went out to do some work in the garden.
"Sara," Daniel said suddenly.
"Yes?"
"Do you have some paper and a pen I could use?" he asked intently.
"Of course," she pointed over to the cupboard, "You should find some in there."
Daniel smiled at her and found a pad of paper and a pen; he also found some scissors and took them too. Heading back to the spare room he sat in the middle of the room and opened the pad to the first clean page.
"Well this is a huge mess," Jack appeared in the doorway several hours later, "What you doing?"
"Trying to piece together my life," Daniel told him.
Jack looked down where Daniel was sitting surrounded by bits of paper names, places, dates and other symbols scribbled on them.
"You do realise some of these aren't even in English?" Jack asked.
"They made more sense that way," Daniel replied as he moved bits around, "Oh here's the final symbol from the cover-stone," he handed Jack a piece of paper, "I realised what it was a couple of hours ago."
"You do know you're eight years late, don't you?" Jack shrugged, "You figured it out then as well."
"Well at least no one told me," Daniel replied still moving things around, "Is Jacob Carter related to Sam Carter?"
"Her father," Jack told him, "What exactly are you doing?"
"It's like word association," Daniel explained, "I used what you had told me and the people from the base to start then I wrote down whatever came from those. I learned to do it just after my parents died, so I could remember what had happened and get over it."
Jack saw the sadness in Daniel's eyes and frowned, all the progress that they'd made on healing the wounds from Daniel's life had been completely set back.
"Well dinner's ready," Jack told him, "Come and get some food then you can return to your...whatever."
"Thank you Jack," Daniel sighed.
Jack smiled, that was the first time Daniel had called him by his name without the hesitation. Maybe they were making progress after all.
"He seems to be remembering some things," Jack reported, he'd left Daniel in Sara's care while he came back to the base.
"That's good," Sam said, "Isn't it?"
"I suppose," Jack shrugged, "He's started calling me by my name without saying Colonel first as well."
"What do you think we should do now?" Hammond asked sensing Jack was building towards something.
"I want to tell him about the Gate," Jack said, "He came up with the symbols and I think it might help him. Then we give him his journals."
"All of them?" Sam asked in surprise.
"All of them," Jack confirmed, "Look if he remembers things he's going to question a lot of it. Reading about it in his own handwriting should convince him."
"Very well," Hammond agreed.
Jonas placed the box on the desk.
"That all of them?" Jack asked, eyeing the box in astonishment.
"The first three years worth," Jonas shrugged, "The rest are in the other box over there. You take these and I'll carry the rest."
"He had to keep a journal for every planet," Jack muttered, "And then everything else. You actually read all of these?"
"I had a lot of free time when I first got here," Jonas reminded him.
Hoisting up the first box Jack motioned Jonas to follow on, "I swear I'm going to pull something carrying this."
"Okay Daniel," Jack said as they sat in the briefing room, the shutters were down so Daniel couldn't see the Gate yet, "I'm going to tell you what you were working on."
"When?"
"When you first got here you were told they found something under the cover-stone," Jack reminded him.
"Then you said it was need to know," Daniel shot back.
"And now you need to know." Jack told him.
"Need to know what?" Daniel asked suddenly worried by how serious Jack had become.
"All about the thing you christened Stargate," Jack said before he explained everything.
"This is incredible," Daniel breathed watching as SG4 walked down the ramp and the Gate shut down.
"This is what you unlocked when you found that last symbol," Jack shrugged.
"You have to be kidding me," Daniel told him, "I mean...this just can't be real."
"I can prove it," Jack told him, "If seeing the Gate didn't convince you then I have a few things that will. Come on, let's get back to my house."
Daniel stared at the two boxes that sat on the kitchen table, "My journals?"
Jack smiled, "They're all in order."
"Thank you," Daniel said, gingerly he reached for the top one, "If you'll excuse me I'm going to..."
Jack nodded, "I'll stick the rest in your room."
"Sure," Daniel murmured already engrossed in his own words.
As Daniel wandered away Jack turned to his wife, "You know I'm not allowed..."
Sara gently kissed him, "I know. Since Daniel is reading why don't we watch a movie?"
Jack wrapped his arms around her, "Now that sounds fun."
Daniel was jolted out of his reading when he heard the doorbell ring. Walking out of his room he saw Sam and Teal'c appear.
"Hi Daniel," Sam smiled brightly, "We come bearing pizza."
"Hi...Sam, Teal'c," he nodded at them both.
"Where's Janet and Jonas " Jack demanded taking the pizza boxes off Sam.
"Picking up Cassie," Sam told him.
"Good," Jack nodded, "Everyone get comfy, Sara's got the drinks. Daniel?"
"Yeah?" Daniel said.
"You joining us?"
"Em who's Cassie again?" Daniel asked.
"Janet's daughter," Sam explained, "We found her on P8X 987."
"Oh," Daniel nodded, "Sure."
Jack nodded back and took the pizza from Sam and taking it to the kitchen. Daniel followed Sam and Teal'c to the living room and took a seat slightly apart from everyone else.
Jack frowned noticing Daniel separating himself from the rest of the team as he brought out the food and set it down.
The bell rang again and Sara answered it to Janet, Jonas and Cassie.
"Where is he?" Cassie asked instantly.
"Hello to you too," Sara smiled at the teenager.
"Sorry Sara," Cassie apologised, "But I really want to see Daniel."
"I know," Janet interrupted, "But Cassie you have to remember he won't know you."
"Yeah," Cassie sighed, "But I still want to see him."
Sara led them into the living room; Janet and Jonas greeted everyone while Cassie moved over to Daniel.
"Hi," she smiled.
"I'm taking a wild guess that you're Cassie," Daniel smiled back.
Cassie nodded, "Nothing wrong with your mind."
"Cassie," Janet admonished but Daniel laughed and the atmosphere relaxed.
Daniel sat listening to them all interact, it was so free and easy nothing he could remember experiencing before.
He knew they expected him to join in but he couldn't.
"Daniel," Sam said passing him the plate, "Are you sure you don't want anymore pizza. It's your favourite."
"Stop it," he snapped not caring that everyone was giving him a shocked look.
"I didn't..."
"You don't know me," he cried, "And I sure as hell don't know you."
He jumped out of his seat and left as fast as he could.
Sara rested her hand on Jack's arm, "I'll go."
"Daniel?" Sara climbed up to join him, "Are you alright?"
Daniel sighed, shaking his head numbly.
Sara rested a blanket around his shoulder, "Want to tell me?"
"I've been reading over everything I've supposed to have done these past few years," he told her, "I know I'm not actually allowed to tell you about it..."
"You can tell me how you feel," she reminded him.
"He's not me," Daniel cried, "Everything he's done, everything he's seen it's not me."
"And you're little outburst?" she asked.
"I'm just tired of living in this haze," he cried, "They all seem to know me but I don't know them. Being treated like...like..."
"Like their friend?"
"It's just so strange," Daniel sighed, "I've never been part of the group before and I don't know how to be part."
Sara watched in silence as he wrung his hands together.
"You know I was meant to have been married?" he asked.
"Yes."
"The thing is, I don't remember her at all," Daniel explained, "Jack showed me a picture and she was beautiful but I didn't feel anything, I don't feel anything for her. Now I've read about it all and the guy who wrote the entries was deeply in love with her but..."
"But you don't feel it?" Sara asked.
"No, I feel sorry for all he lost but that's it."
"He is you Daniel."
Daniel shook his head, "Not anymore. God, this is so frustrating."
"I know," Sara sympathised.
"They all expect me to know them and I don't," Daniel continued, "I know they're his friends..."
"It will take time," Sara gently hugged him comfortingly, "Come on we should head back down."
"I'm going to stay here for a while," Daniel told her.
"Okay," Sara squeezed his arm climbing back down.
"Is he okay?" Jack asked when she walked into the kitchen.
"He's so lost Jack," Sara rested against her husband, "He's just so lost and frustrated."
Jack held her trying to comfort her, "I know baby."
"He keeps talking about who he was as a completely different person," Sara told him, "I don't think it's ever going to come back to him Jack. No matter what you all do. I think you'll all have to accept this."
Jack sighed, "I'm beginning to think that too."
"Maybe instead of making him try to remember his past," Sara said, "We should let him get on with his future."
Jack sighed, "It's just weird. Daniel's been my best friend for years. It took us so long to build the trust and now..."
"I know Jack," Sara sympathised, "But you can't get him back, you have to become his friend again."
Jack gave her a gentle kiss, "Thank you. For everything Sara, you are incredible."
Sara smiled, "I know. Come on let's go rejoin the others."
"Everyone's gone," Jack said climbing up beside Daniel, "You can come out of hiding."
"Sorry about that," Daniel said softly, "I didn't mean to ruin your night."
"Don't worry about it," Jack shrugged it off, "We've been pushing you a little too much."
"Jack, I can't be him," Daniel whispered, "I can't be the guy you all knew. Everything that happened over the years that made you guys' friends, I can't..."
"Daniel," Jack cut him off, "We are friends. All that stuff that happened it wasn't what made us friends. Be who you are."
"I'll try," Daniel sighed.
"Look at it this way," Jack told him, "You've got a lot of movies to catch up on." Daniel laughed.
"Finally," Jack grinned, "I got a laugh. Look, you have a job at the SGC. You may be eight years behind but you're still our expert. Teal'c will help you relearn Gould and knowing you you'll pick it up fast. Once we get things sorted out we'll find you another apartment and I can clear your stuff out of my garage."
"Thank you," Daniel told him, "For everything."
"Come on it's freezing up here," Jack pulled him to the ladder.
"In a second," Daniel said.
Jack nodded and headed down leaving Daniel staring at the sky. He didn't remember but he did have a place in their world, Daniel looked up one star drawing his attention for some reason.
Thinking over the words he'd written, a life he no longer remembered Daniel made his decision.
He had a blank slate he would use it.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to L.E McMurray
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