E-mail's
E-mail's
by Venom_69
Title: E-mail's
Author: Venom_69
E-mail: venom69@antisocial.com
Rating: PG
Category: Romance, small attempt at humor Pairings: Sam/Jack
Content Warnings: None really.
Summary: The base E-mail system has never been so overworked. Season/sequel: Kind of a sequel to 'Dating is a nightmare' but not compulsary reading.
Spoilers: Upgrades, Emancipation, COTG, Broca Divide, D&C and probably more. Archive: Heliopolis and my very own Venom's Sam and Jack site, 69anderson2001/index.html">www.geocities.com/venom69anderson2001/index.html Disclaimer: I don't own these people. If someone wants to give them to me then I woudn't say no. Hell, I'd settle for Jack. < eg > Author's notes: Um. . .I always wanted to do a sequel to DIAN but it was going to be set in a chatroom. Anyway, I was on my antisocial e-mail today and every half hour a new message was coming through, and I just had this vision of that happening at the SGC. Add to this a caffeine deprived body, with a Celine Dion song bouncing around my head, and you get this fic. Feedback: Hell yeah!
Dedication: Thanks always go to LEW for the quick beta. This one is for Sharim, for writing the wonderful fic 'Choice we make.' Haven't read it? Do yourself a favour.
Date: 31-7-2002
~*+*~
To: Teal'c < CaptainMurrayHutch@sgc.gov > From: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > Subject: Is it just me?
Date: 10-9-2002 < 8:35 >
Hey Teal'c
I'm pleased to see that you are starting to use your E-mail more often, it only took you five years. :)
Anyway, I wanted to know if you noticed anything strange going on between Sam and Jack? They are both acting very weird, especially around each other.
Is it just me, or have you noticed too?
All the best, Daniel
~*+*~
To: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > From: Teal'c < CaptainMurrayHutch@sgc.gov > Subject: Re: Is it just me?
Date: 10-9-2002 < 10: 46 >
Kal Sha Daniel Jackson,
I trust you are feeling well on this morning?
< I'm pleased to see that you are starting to use your E-mail more often, it only took you five years. :) >
I am. Major Carter has shown me how to operate an 'E-mail account' and all of its functions so that I may better communicte with my fellow SGC members.
< Anyway, I wanted to know if you noticed anything strange going on between Sam and Jack? They are both acting very weird, especially around each other. >
I have not witnessed any 'weird' behaviour occuring between O'Neill and Major Carter, would you care to elaborate on your theories.
< Is it just me, or have you noticed too? >
I am unaware of your observations, however I may have 'noticed' something. Please inform me of some examples so that I may understand your meaning.
Reguards, Teal'c
~*+*~
To: Major Carter < MajorSamCarter@sgc.gov > From: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > Subject: Question.
Date: 10-9-2002 < 12:21 >
Hey Sam,
I didn't see you in the mess today, are you skipping lunch again? Janet won't be pleased. < G >
Question: Is there something going on between you and Jack? You two are acting strange.
All the best, Daniel
~*+*~
To: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > From: Major Carter < MajorSamCarter@sgc.gov > Subject: Re: Question
Date: 10-9-2002 < 1:16 >
Hey Daniel.
< I didn't see you in the mess today, are you skipping lunch again? Janet won't be pleased. < G > >
Janet will never know. I'm trying to instal a few more safety protocol's into the dialing computer to make it safer to estabish a connection. I don't want to repeat the experience that we had with Teal'c again. I think I actually got a few grey hairs then. :)
< Question: Is there something going on between you and Jack? You two have been acting strange >
Have you been drinking that extra strong coffee again? You know what that does to you! LOL. What makes you ask that anyway?
Cheers, Sam
~*+*~
To: Major Carter < MajorSamCarter@sgc.gov > From: Colonel O'Neill < ColonelJackOneill@sgc.gov > Subject: I hope you had lunch.
Date: 10-9-2002 < 1:23 >
Hey Angel
I hope that you had lunch. I only stopped by the commissary for a sandwich. I'm on paperwork duty again. Very boring.
Anyway, I was sitting here, and when I wrote the date on the top of my report, I noticed that it's our six month annaversary! Can you believe it? Just think, six months ago we were going on a date. I remember it like it was yesterday.
You were in that little black dress, and we ended up staying at the restaraunt too long and we missed the movie. Although our substitute activity was lots of fun too. < G >
I remember waking up with you in my arms, your unique scent filling my nose, the sight of your hair on my chest. I recall that we were both without the benefit of our clothes. Ah. . .you wanna come and find a broom closet for a while? :)
Do you think we should tell the others? I mean, they may work it out when they see the astrophysics book in my study. And besides that sexy burgundy lipstick that you have doesn't match my skin color. :)
Love you, Jack
~*+*~
To: Teal'c < CaptainMurrayHutch@sgc.gov > From: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > Subject: Examples
Date: 10-9-2002 < 2:32 >
Hey Teal'c
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, I've been working on a translation from P2B 881. Do you know what 'Talwankiya' means? I can't seem to figure that one out.
< I have not witnessed any 'strange' behaviour occuring between O'Neill and Major Carter, would you care to elaborate on your theories. >
Well, our last mission, for example. Didn't you notice that they both disappeared for an hour while you and I were translating the tablet? And when they came back, Sam's jacket was done up wrong. What about what they said during the Za'tarc testing? Or when everyone was infected with the primitive virus from P3X 797?
Then there was P3X 595 when Sam tried to seduce Jack, again I might add. Then there was the kiss from the time loop's that you told me about. Or when Hathor tried to kill Sam and Jack saved her, then they hugged. I accidently over-heard Sam telling Janet when they got back.
What about all of the fishing trips he's invited her on? When you were stuck in the wormhole, Jack was so concerned for her, especially when they were about to test the DHD out. Don't forget about what happened on that week you were waiting for the Beta Gate to be hooked up.
Now do you see what I mean?
All the best, Daniel.
~*+*~
To: Captain Hoylar < Hoylar@hotmail.com > Lt Lewis < LEW@yahoo.com > Captain Redfurn < redgirl@ihavepms.com > Angela < Halowithhorns@wouldilie.com > Miss Kylie < miss_shipper@hotmail.com >
From: Major Winsor < venom69@antisocial.com > Subject: Hot goss
Date: 10-9-2002 < 3:02 >
Hey Girls,
I'm using your personal addresses because it has been brought to my attention (Through no fault of my own!) That the SGC's E-mail accounts are dead easy to hack into. :) < G > Please pass this E-mail on to all of the other ladies on base, I don't have a lot of time before we 'Gate to P8F 987.
I have been informed that Daniel Jackson and Teal'c are beginning to question the nature of Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter's relationship. People are starting to suspect that the 'purely professional' exterior that they present so perfectly, may in fact be a facade.
Some of the evidence that Daniel Jackson has presented, are below. (BTW, these are actual sections of an E-mail he was sending to Teal'c. Don't ask how I got them :))
< Well, our last mission, for example. Didn't you notice that they both disappeared for an hour while you and I were translating the tablet? And when they came back, Sam's jacket was done up wrong, her hair was a mess and her lipstick ws smudged. >
Does no one include the good stuff in reports anymore? The least they could do is spill the beans to at least one airman, we have to have something to talk about.
< What about what they said during the Za'tarc testing? Or when everyone was infected with the primitive virus from P3X 797? >
This, we knew about. God Bless the security cameras. Anyone got any news about us getting them installed in the men's locker room yet?
< Then there was P3X 595 when Sam tried to seduce Jack, again I might add. >
Wasn't that the planet where she drank the local booze and chucked a Demi Moore on the nearest table? Who knew that Carter could do the full monty?
< Then there was the kiss from the time loop's that you told me about. >
They kissed in the time loops?!?!?!?!? I hate subspace fields, we should be able to remember these things.
< Or when Hathor tried to kill Sam and Jack saved her, then they hugged. I accidently over-heard Sam telling Janet when they got back. >
Angel, you knew that one, didn't you? What were you in the infirmary for this time? Anoxia, that was suffered at the sight of one very handsome Colonel without a shirt? LOL
< What about all of the fishing trips he's invited her on? >
Can you believe that she still keeps saying no? Who would reject a week alone with that man? Somebody check for alien viruses, no sane person would say no.
< When you were stuck in the wormhole, Jack was so concerned for her, especially when they were about to test the DHD out. Don't forget about what happened on that week you were waiting for the Beta Gate to be hooked up. >
Okay, anyone know what happened then? All that I heard was that no one could touch Teal'c's 'beard' (I use the term loosly) and that they all needed showers. Any stipulations on the events of that week??
I'll keep yoou informed of any new updates as soon as I can get into O'Neill or Carter's E-mails.
Cheers, Venom
~*+*~
To: Colonel O'Neill < ColonelJackOneill@sgc.gov > From: Major Carter < MajorSamCarter@sgc.gov > Subject: Re I hope you had lunch
Date: 10-7-2002 < 3:29 >
< Hey Angel >
Hey Baby, long time no see.
Enjoying the paperwork? And no, I didn't have lunch, but I had a cookie about ten minutes ago, does that count?
< Anyway, I was sitting here, and when I wrote the date on the top of my report, I noticed that it's our six month annaversary! Can you believe it? Just think, six months ago we were going on a date. I remember it like it was yesterday. >
Really!?!? Oh, I can't believe that I didn't realise. Well, happy annaversary, I love you.
< You were in that little black dress, and we ended up staying at the restaraunt too long and we missed the movie. Although our substitute activity was lots of fun too. < G > >
Mmm. . .it most certainly was. I can't believe Janet didn't work it out when I went to see her the next day, I thought the smile on my face was going to split it in two.
< I remember waking up with you in my arms, the smell of your hair filling my nose, the sight of your hair on my chest. I recall that we were both without the benefit of our clothes. Ah. . .you wanna come and find a broom closet for a while? :) >
Hold the closet thoughts flyboy, you have paperwork. ;) But I'm glad that you rememer our first night together. It was pretty special. :)
< Do you think we should tell the others? I mean, they may work it out when they see the astrophysics book in my study? And besides that sexy burgundy lipstick that you have doesn't match my skin color. :) >
I don't know. . .I hate lying to them, but it's also kind of exciting. But still, even now, sometimes all I want to do is drag Janet into her office and tell her everything.
And as far as my lipstick's concerned, don't worry, I have a very attractive pink that would suit you perfectly. :)
< Love you, Jack >
Love you too, Sam.
~*+*~
To: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > From: Teal'c < CaptainMurrayHutch@sgc.gov > Subject: Re: Examples
Date: 10-9-2002 < 3:57 >
I have reviewed your examples, Daniel Jackson, and I have found that you are correct in your assumptions about Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill and their relationship.
It is my belief that they have consumated their love, and I feel that we should not interfere until we are called upon.
Reguards, Teal'c
~*+*~
To: Major Winsor < venom69@antisocial > From: Miss Kylie < miss_shipper@hotmail.com > Subject: Re: Hot goss
Date: 10-9-2002 < 4:10 >
Venom,
Congrats on getting the info, glad to see that your 'hacking' skills are still as sharp as ever. :) Any luck getting into Carter or O'Neill's E-mail's yet??
A few more bits of goss for you.
Turns out that Carter was seen exiting O'Neill's room around 3:00 the other morning. She had a very big smile on her face, and Sandra swears that she saw her skipping.
Remember when O'Neill, Carter and Jackson all had the armband's? Well, O'Neill accidenty pushed Siler down the stairs, right? Well, turns out that he'd been hitting on Carter. Then he supposedly caught them in a broom closet together, and threatened to expose them, hence the 'fall.'
Just thought you'd like to know. :)
Chow, Miss Kylie
~*+*~
To: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > Doctor Fraser < DoctorJanetFraser@sgc.gov >
Teal'c < CaptainMurrayHutch@sgc.gov > From: Sam & Jack < samandjack@loveisintheair.com > Subject: Something to tell you. . .
Date: 10-9-2002 < 4:36 >
Hey Guys,
We decided to send you an e-mail and tell you that for the past six months (To the exact day) we have been having a relationship. We've kept you out of it, and said nothing to minimise your involvement in our impending court martial.
But we have to tell you now, we need your help to move the rest of Sam's things into my place. :)
We're sorry for lying to you, but we hope you will all be happy for us.
Cheers, S&J
~*+*~
To: Sam and Jack < samandjack@loveisintheair > From: Teal'c < CaptainMurrayHutch@sgc.gov > Subject: Re: Something to tell you. . . Date: 10-9-2002 < 4:43 >
I am pleased that you have found happiness with each other.
May your life together be filled with love and prosperity and may your children grow strong and make you proud.
Your Friend, Teal'c
~*+*~
To: Sam and Jack < samandjack@loveisintheair > From: Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > Subject: Re: something to tell you. . . Date: 10-9-2002 < 4:56 >
Hey guys.
Got the e-mail, loved the addy. I hate to tell you this, but we all knew that you were in love with each other before you did.
Told Hammond yet. . .?
Be happy, I'm pleased for you both. You have my love and support, always.
All the best, Daniel.
~*+*~
To: Sam and Jack < samandjack@loveisintheair > From: Doctor Fraser < DoctorJanetFraser@sgc.gov > Subject: Re: Something to tell you. . . Date: 10-9-2002 < 4:58 >
Hey,
I was wondering when you two were going to 'fess up!
Hate to be the one to break this to you guys, but I'm your Doctor. . .I knew that you had 'significant others' in your life, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you were sweet on each other. :)
I'm happy for you, good luck!
Janet.
~*+*~
To: Major Carter < MajorSamCarter@sgc.gov > Colonel O'Neill < ColonelJackOneill@sgc.gov > Doctor Jackson < DoctorDanielJackson@sgc.gov > Teal'c < CaptainMurrayHutch@sgc.gov > From: General Hammond < GeneralGeorgeHammond@sgc.gov > Subject: A short memo for SG-1
Date: 10-9-2002 < 5:30 >
Dear Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, Dr Jackson and Teal'c,
It has been brought to my attention that many of the staff at the SGC have been using their e-mail addresses for personal e-mail's. As you are all aware, we are on a strict budget this year as we are trying to accommodate for more expensive training programs. We have to limit the amount of E-mail's sent by each person per day. A fact that the President keeps reminding me. (Ironically, via e-mail)
It has also been brought to my attention that one or more members of the SGC has developed the ability to break, or 'hack' into the E-mail accounts of several important SGC personnel, thus being able to read the 'personal' e-mail's that are frequently being sent.
Just a warning that you all may like to keep in mind.
On a more personal note, I want to be the first to congratulate Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill on their newly found happiness. As long as you keep it off base, you have my support. I've had your wedding present picked out since the incident with the inhabitants of the land of light.
I hope that you two are happy together.
General G. Hammond.
~*+*~
The End.
I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter
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