Beneath the surface and drowning quickly
by venom_69
TITLE: Beneath the surface and drowning quickly
Author: venom_69
Email: venom_69_anderson@hotmail
Category: Romance, Action/Adventure
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Spoilers: BTS
Season: 4
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: language
Status: Completed
Summary: when you fall beneath the surface, you tend to drown very quickly.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
Author's notes: This didn't turn out quite like I had expected and I'm not sure if I like it now, but you are all welcome to send me some feedback and tell me what you thought. Even if you flame me, it still means that I get feedback.
Archive: Heliopolis and my site, www.geocities.com/venom_69_anderson2001/index.html if on the off chance that someone actually wants this then just drop me a line and we'll see.
Dedication: For my German doctor, whom I do not understand in the slightest, who gave me enough time off school to get bored enough to start writing all sorts of weird and wonderful crap.
We don't talk about it.
Why would we?
What am I supposed to say to him? How am I supposed to look him in the eyes, knowing that I slept with him? That isn't the worst part though. The worst part would have to be the knowledge that *we* didn't actually sleep together. It was essentially *them* and somehow I don't think that the General will excuse our behavior just because it was Thera and Jonah not Sam and Jack.
It doesn't matter what personality we were stamped with, because the reality of it is that we slept together and no matter how you look at it, basically it was still *us* and that makes it so god damn frustrating. Knowing that the one thing I wanted most of all happened and now we have to deny it. Carlin and Tor, damn I mean Daniel and Teal'c, don't even know. Well, if they do then they are doing a great job of not showing it.
I close my eyes and let the steaming water drizzle down my skin. I love hot showers. Especially the ones at home. Reluctantly shutting the water off, I grab a towel and begin to slowly dry my stiff muscles.
The last time my muscles were this sore was after the incident on P... something or other, when Daniel got engaged, again I might add that guy has many fans, and the rest of us were sent down to the mines to work. What exactly is it with SG-1 and mines? Do we walk around with big signs on our foreheads saying 'put us in mines and make us do lots of work so Major Carter can feel like shit for three days' or something?
I wrap a towel around myself and walk back into my bedroom. I pull out a pair of track suit pants and an old T-shirt that says 'property of USAF' It's about six inches too long for me but at least it hides the belly that I'm rapidly getting. I am in way over my head. I am beneath the surface and drowning quickly.
"I'm fat!" I mutter to myself. I know I am and it's only a matter of time before Jack notices it too. And before you go thinking that I'm worried he'll think that I'm loosing my girlish figure, that's not it. All I'm worried about is that he'll soon notice that I'm pregnant.
"You're not fat, Sam you're pregnant. Remember we talked about the differences between the two." A voice says from the doorway and I turn to see my, for lack of a better word, 'babysitter' for the evening.
"I know Janet it's just. . . . . weird." I say.
"Sam you have to realize that you are going to have to tell him sooner or later. Despite the act, he is a very intelligent man and he will figure it out." She says with a compassionate smile that makes me want to rip her mouth off her face and let her see how annoying it is.
"Come on doc I thought that we were going to save the pep talk for *after* the movie?" I reply, only half of my statement being in jest. I'm sick of all the pep talks and compassionate smiles that I'm getting.
"Okay! What movie did you get?" she asks, and her pathetic attempt to change the subject for my benefit is dually noted.
"Um. . . Beauty and the Beast" I say, accompanied with a smile, attempting to lighten the mood.
"Funny, very funny." She says with a smile of her own, as she moves further into my room to sit on my bed. I do have to wonder why she's here with me and not out enjoying her newly found romance with Daniel. Yeah, 'newly found' my fat ass, they have been sweet on each other for ages. They are Cassandra's words exactly.
"I couldn't decide between a comedy or an action," I say ringing the water out of my wet hair and brushing it to remove the knots that have formed there. "I didn't want a romance either so don't even say it." I say, answering the question that she had just opened her mouth to ask. "So I ended up picking Bring it on. Cass said that she wanted to see it and I figured that since she should be here soon, we might as well watch it. It'll take my mind off Jack and she gets to see her movie. As Teal'c would say 'It is two birds with but one stone' fair enough?" I finish.
"Sure. But just one question. Are you ever going to tell Jack that you're pregnant with his child?" she says and just before I turn to answer we both hear the audible gasp that come from my bedroom door.
I turn slowly hoping to find that this is one of those dreams. You know the ones where you're naked in public or you have to sing in front of the president or you commanding officer finds out that you're pregnant with the child that you both created because an alien race stamped you both with new personalities. No such luck for me. I see both of them standing in my doorway. I'm a little shocked, Cassandra is standing there wide-eyed and Jack looks like a little fish that some ten year old boy pulled out of the water, leaving the little fishy to pull funny faces in an attempt to get back to it's natural habitat. She had to say that just as Jack came into my apartment, bringing Cassie back from the ice skating birthday party she was at, didn't she?
~*~*~
We never talk about it.
Why would we?
What? Why wasn't I told? Okay, I know that I'm not quite the easiest guy in the world to talk to, but then again there are people who are worse than me. Like... Teal'c, for example. He's a great guy and one of my closest friends but most of his responses are a nod of the head or a raised eyebrow
"Cassie why don't you and I go downstairs and start the video." Janet asks and I silently, but sincerely, nod my thanks to her.
"But mum I wanna stay here." Cassandra complains. I guess she hasn't learnt the human art of discretion. She'll get there though. Sam's eyes are pleading with Janet to stay but I know her, and in saying this I know that her brain is seeing the more. . . practical and logical side of them leaving.
Not that I plan on anything happening, it's just that. . . I don't know. All that I do know is that if what I heard is true, Sam and I have some pretty big decisions to make.
A few minuets pass until I realize that Janet and Cassie have left the room, shut the door and now Sam is looking at me like I have just grown horns.
"So. . . ." I say a little unsure of how to start. Sam is looking much the same as she holds a protective hand over her stomach. It is kind of cute.
"Yeah, so. . . ." she replies and I sigh in frustration. This is getting us exactly no where. We have to talk, no we need to talk, and all either of us manage is a few one syllable words to escape our mouths. I am holding my tongue tight other wise I'll say something that I'll regret soon after, and then knowing Sam she'll do the same and we'll end up being back to where we started, getting no where.
"How long have you known?" I ask. It's a fair enough question, after all unless there is something that she's not telling me then this happened when we went from being Sam and Jack to Therra and Jonah and that was about three and a half months ago.
"A while" she replies calmly. Oh Sam if I was only that calm.
"How long?" I repeat more forcefully. My tone is harsh, even to my ears, and I myself flinch at the bitterness, the anger and the. . . hurt? I don't see why there would be hurt in my voice. I'm neutral, a solider, Colonel Jack O'Neill USAF and now I'm hurt?
"About a month and a half. . . Sir." She adds almost as an after thought. She's known for six weeks and the only reason that I found out was accidental?
"And you were planning to tell me this when. . . ? Tomorrow? A year from now? Ten Years from now when you're at my funeral and the only way for you to be honest with me is to my dead body in a casket." My words are harsher than the last ones spoken.
"If you must know then I wasn't going to tell you. You know, Mitch? You remember him don't you? He's the guys that I was dating!" she says her voice raising and octave. I know Mitch, we all had the pleasure of meeting him just before we went on the diplomatic mission to Administrator Caldon's planet. Apparently she had been dating Mitch for a month of two before hand. He is a nice enough guy and we could really be friends, except for one tiny little thing. It eats away at me whenever I'm near him. It's that little fact that he's dating the woman that I love. "Well, he thinks that the child is his." She finishes quietly. It's only now that I realize she used the past tense when referring to her relationship with Mitch.
"So what were you going to do? Tell him that the kid was his and see if he'd do the honorable thing?" I ask with complete and utter bitterness in my voice.
~*~*~
"So what were you going to do? Tell him that the kid was his and see if he'd do the honorable thing?" He asks with complete and utter bitterness in his voice, and I unconsciously flinch at his tone.
"NO! I told him the truth. Now if you'll excuse me I need to use the bathroom." I say as I walk towards the aforementioned room. Closing my bedroom door on the way out and entering the bathroom, I sink to the floor, my body racked with sobs.
~*~*~
The shrill of the phone rings, and I quickly tell me heart now is not the time to go into overdrive. I pick up the receiver and with a gruffly muttered 'hello' I close my eyes to regain my composure.
"Jack? I'm lookin' for Sam. She there?" it's Mitch. I'd know his voice anywhere.
"Yeah but she can't really talk right now." I say in a desperate effort to get him off the phone.
"I suppose you know." He states after a moment of silence.
"About the baby?" I ask. "Yeah, Mitch I know."
"Did she tell you we broke up?" he asks. Bitterness lacing his voice and I don't really blame him.
"Yeah she mentioned that. I'm sorry." Yeah right. I'm not the least bit sorry.
"Do you know what she told me? What she had the nerve to tell me?" he asks.
"No" I gruffly reply. I have this awful vision of Sam walking in and hearing me, the father of her baby, talking to her ex-boyfriend who currently hates the father of her baby.
"She told me that she was pregnant and that I'm not the father, but the father is someone who she's loved for years." Huh? But that means, she loves me? It takes me happy heart and mushy brain a few minuets to realize that he's still talking. "it doesn't really bother me that she's in love with another guy, I mean I always knew that there was a place in her heart that I could never reach, but to go and get knocked up by the guy? That's just cruel."
"Listen, Mitch I know that you're angry but from what she's told me, I don't think that Sam meant for this to happen." I say trying to defend her.
"So she didn't mean for this to happen. Okay I understand that but it still doesn't change the fact that she slept with another guy. I asked her to marry me for Christ's sake." He exclaims. Well, I didn't know that.
"Look, Mitch, I understand. Just go to the gym and beat out your frustrations on a punching bag. I have to go. I'll talk to you later. Bye." I say.
"Yeah, just tell Sam that I rang to ask for my toothbrush back. Bye."
~*~*~
Once I finally manage to control my sobs to a few tears I stand and look at my reflection in the mirror. I look like hell. Actually to be more specific, I look like someone who has just spent the last twenty minuets crying. Great, this is exactly how I want Jack, damn I mean Colonel O'Neill to seem me, a quivering mess.
"Hey." He says quietly. I didn't even hear him enter the bathroom.
"Don't you knock?" I ask, my voice as harsh as his was a few minutes ago.
"No, not usually. Look, I just wanted to say that I am sorry for the way that I acted. I guess that I was just surprised." He tells me.
He was surprised? I was throwing up at the thought of food for a week before it clicked. Even then, it still took me another five days until I had worked up the courage to go and see Janet.
"I understand, I was surprised too." I tell him, calmly. Well, my exterior is calm, but my insides are far from it.
"Mitch called while you were in here." He tells me. Oh, well isn't this wonderful. My ex-boyfriend and the father of my baby were having a nice little chat. I am so screwed.
"What did he want?" I ask, shaking at the thought of what they could have been talking about.
"He want his tooth brush back." He tells me, with a small sad smile.
"Damn, I was planning to burn it and have some fun." I tell him, and he miles at my small attempt at a joke.
"He told me that you love the father of your baby. Is he lying?" He asks, I knew that he would find out sooner or later.
"Yes." I say, softly. I didn't want to admit that, but if he's been talking to Mitch, then there is no point in lying to him.
"Good." He says, and my head snatches up to look at him. "Because the father of your baby love's you too." He finishes.
"What?" I whisper. He can't be serious, I mean I know that he cares about me but caring is a far cry from love.
"I love you Sam, and I want to be with you and raise this baby. Our baby." He says, pulling me into his arms.
"I love you too." I tell him and we share our first, non-virus infested, non-memory stamped kiss, and it's better than I ever imagined. Much better.
~*~*~
"I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. I'm bitchin' great hair, the boys all love to stare." Is the first thing that Sam and I hear, walking down the hallway into her living room. Janet and Cassie are sitting on her couch, and Sam and I sit on the other chair, snuggled together.
Janet mouths 'OK?' to Sam and she just smiles, looks up t me and kisses me like there is no tomorrow. When we pull apart, I see that Janet has her hand over Cassie's eyes.
We are going to be alright.
We will talk about it.
We need to.
~*~*~
"Yo, Jake what are you doing?" I hear a voice ask me.
"He Madi, Look I found one of Mum's old diary's, she wrote bout the day that Dad found out about us. I think that I remember reading that he passed out when he heard that mum was having twins." I tell my twin sister.
We were asked to clean the attic, and dad's paying us twenty bucks so that he doesn't have to do it.
"What about Danny and Page? Does it say anything about them? Did dad flip when he found out about them?" She asks me.
Mum and Dad have been married for thirteen years now. Madi and I are 12, Page is 9 and Danny is 6. We all get along really well considering that we are brothers and sisters. Our parents still work in their Base, but only occasionally.
Luckily, I got mum's brains, so I know all about the Stargate. The others don't know yet, but dad thinks that, being their mothers kids that they'll find out sooner or later.
So now we talk about it.
Why wouldn't we?
~*~*~
The end.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to venom_69
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Beneath the Surface and Drowning Quickly
by Venom69Site Navigation
Support Heliopolis