What to do when you have a crush on your CO
What to do when you have a crush on your CO
by Ruth
Summary: Eight easy steps on how to deal with a crush you're not supposed to have.
Category: Challenge, Humor, Romance
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG
Warnings: sexual situations
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 10/02/03
Title: What to do when you have a crush on your CO
Rating: PG (Implied sexual situations)
Summary: Eight easy steps on how to deal with a crush you're not allowed to have.
Spoilers: None!
Author Notes: Sam/Jack!! 4th in the 'What to do when...' series.
Dedication: To NG, this was your idea, and you feedback me on every single story I've written, so this is for you! Thanks! : )
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
~ What to do when you have a crush on your CO ~
By Ruth
Copyright (c) 2003, Ruth
Sam shut the door of her lab behind her and leant against the door, feeling a blush rise in her cheeks.
No. This was totally not happening. She...did...not....have...a...crush...on her CO. No. Of course she didn't.
"Step one," Janet said, "Get a friend to scream FORGET ABOUT HIM! As loud as you can."
"FORGET ABOUT HIM!"
Satisfied, she sat down at her desk and began to play with the nearest doohickey she could find...
...
Doohickey.
....
That was his word.
"Agh!" Sam cried, slamming her fist down on the table. It was obviously time for step 2.
"Take some time out - get out of the places where you think about him," Janet said, taking her friend's arm.
They got up and went out of her lab, determined to clear Sam's mind of everything regarding her CO. Sam sighed in relief as they stepped into the empty elevator, and pressed the button for the twenty-second floor. There was no way he'd be down there.
She stepped forwards as the lift doors opened...and walked straight into Colonel O'Neill.
"Oh, hey Carter!" he grinned, "I was - "
Sam smiled nervously. "I...uh...well, Colonel. I have to...um...go and....do something...in my lab. Bye!"
With that, she was gone, leaving one very confused Colonel behind her. Janet ran off behind Sam, muttering a hurried apology to Jack.
When they got back to her lab, Sam sank down on the floor and groaned. This was sooo not working.
"Step 3 - try thinking about someone else," Janet said, sitting down and looking at her friend, who was lying on the floor.
Hm. Who was as far away from Jack as it was possible to be? Hmm...ah ha! Doctor McKenzie! Yes, he was a self-absorbed, good-for-nothing, stupid, idiotic...hey - it was actually working! She wasn't thinking about Jack, or his beautiful eyes, or...
"Damn!"
"There has got to be some way for me to forget about this..." Sam muttered to herself, staring at her computer screen. It was then that she had an idea.
"I'll be back," Janet warned, "Why don't you try step 4?"
"Step 4 - work!"
Yes. That was a good idea. If she could just get her head wrapped around her work, she'd be fine. Nothing like a 25-hour shift to clear all thoughts of one's commanding officer from one's mind.
Unfortunately, she was only 15 hours into this shift before she was caught by Janet and threatened with death (and needles) if she didn't go home and sleep.
That was Step 4 out the window.
The next morning, Sam went into work determined to clean her mind of her thoughts and feelings for Jack. She avoided the commissary (the first place he would be in the morning, demolishing a bowl of fruit loops) and headed straight for Daniel's lab.
"Hey, Sam!" he smiled, "Sit down."
She did, and flashed him a winning smile.
"Sam.." Daniel began, "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Sam did thumbing the coffee mug that sat on the edge of his desk.
"Are you avoiding Jack?"
+Step 5 - Deny Everything+
Sam laughed nervously, "No. Whatever gave you that idea?"
"It's just that he said you and Janet met him in the elevator the other day and practically ran away from him."
"I didn't," Sam replied, her fingers tightening on the mug.
"Sam - you can talk to me, you know."
+Step 5.5 - Under NO circumstances tell anyone else+
"Daniel, I promise you, there is nothing wrong with me or j- Colonel O'Neill. I'll see you at the briefing, okay?"
"Sure," he replied, very dissatisfied.
As she walked back to her lab, Sam felt guilty. She hadn't meant to shut him out or hurt him - hell, she was doing her best to prevent that. She had half an hour before the first briefing - time to get some work done.
As she turned on her computer, a small display flashed onscreen.
YOU HAVE 1 NEW MESSAGE
Sam,
Hi! Listen, any more step 4s and I'll have you taken off of active duty, ok?? Step 6 - have a girl's night in! This one's never failed yet, girl! I'll see you at my place at 7pm. Bring cookies and James Spader videos!!
Janet
Sam smiled. That would work.
The next morning, a very angry Sam walked into her lab and slammed the door behind her, narrowly missing Janet as she hurried in behind her distraught friend.
"Sam, listen-"
"It didn't work!!" Sam cried angrily.
"I know, but..."
"Janet, there's nothing else I can do!"
"Well...actually....No, never mind." Janet began.
"What?" Sam asked desperately.
"Well...there is a step 7...but this is only for extreme circumstances." Janet explained.
"Go on," Sam said, calming down a little.
"I ask you this," Janet said, "When is a crush not a crush?"
"When you've broken up?" Sam suggested.
Janet shook her head. "Waaay before that."
Sam thought for a moment. "When you're dating properly?"
Janet shook her head again, and sighed. "Oh...Sam. I'm gonna have to tell you myself, aren't I?"
"Yup," Sam replied.
"When you both know how the other truly feels," Janet finished. "Step 7 - screw the regs."
"You just made that one up, didn't you?" Sam asked, blushing again.
"Hell, did I!" Janet grinned, "You go get 'im, girl!"
So she did.
Later that day, when a very happy Major and Colonel exited one of the SGC's many store cupboards, they hurriedly invented a step 8.
"COLONEL! MAJOR! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??"
Step 8 - Deny absolutely everything
THE END
Author's Note: Part 5? You know how to get it... : )
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Ruth
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