Uncertain Past
Uncertain Past
by Michelle Birkby
Title: Uncertain Past
Author: Michelle Birkby
Email: saraandsamrule@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Episode related: 210 Bane
Season: Season 6
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary: So, at the end of 2010, they don't get the note throuhg, but they do survive. What next? btw SPOILER WARNING for season six.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Title, Uncertain Past
Author, Michelle Birkby
Email, saraandsamrule@hotmail.com
Disclaimer, "All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author." Summary, so, they've survived the end of 2010. what happens next Status. complete
Author's notes. I wrote this ages ago, I can't think why I never posted it. But here it is.
'I think I'm dying." Sam Carter thought, as she struggled awake. She felt nothing, no aches, no pain, but a part of her mind was telling her she should be in agony. She was shot, for crying out loud, so why did nothing hurt? Obviously, it was because she was dying. And the unnatural whiteness of the sheet enveloping, the harsh sunlight pouring through the window, the white stiff curtain flapping in the breeze...none of this boded well for the future of Sam Carter's life.
'But why am I dying?' she thought. 'What happened?'. She pulled up memories from her mind, sifting through them until she found one that seemed recent.
Teal'c. Teal'c dialling the gate, dialling...where? Nowhere. It didn't matter. It wasn't the place, but the TIME that mattered. Teal'c was dialling the past to save the future.
Teal'c falling over the DHD. Bleeding. Dying.
JACK.
He'd looked so lost when she'd found him again. He tried to cover it up with harshness and callousness, but she'd seen it in his eyes. A lost, hurt, bewildered look, as if this wasn't the way his life was supposed to turn out.
And he was right. But he had made a life for himself, of sorts, maybe not one he wanted, but comfortable, peaceful, and she'd strolled into that, and demanded he give it up, leave his peace, his refuge, and come back to her life, not because she loved him, or needed him, but for a mission. No wonder he refused.
But he didn't. He followed her. He looked at her with that hidden, perplexed yearning in his eyes, and not once had he told her he loved her, because she was married, and Jack, a man of scrupulous honour, would never make a move on a married woman, but still his eyes had whispered it to her every time he glanced in her directions, and the only words she could say in return were not words of love, but orders and directions, cold, clinical, impartial.
He'd looked so different in the terminal. Everyone else in the cold Aschen grey, so purposeful, so business-like, so unsmiling. And Jack, slouching through, the only one in jeans, not a part of it all. She smiled at the memory.
Jack fell. She'd seen that, and she rushed down there, just holding on to the one thought, it had to succeed, her plan couldn't fail, too much was at stake, and she saw Daniel fall, so close, and then she had the note, and she fell too, the pain of the shots burning through her back.
Ah. So that was why she was dying. She'd been shot. And obviously her plan hadn't worked, because she was still here.
And judging by the pain that was returning to her arms and legs, she wasn't as close to dying as she thought. So if she wasn't dead, then neither was anyone else, and she could try again, and maybe... She tried to get up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, suppressing the groan of pain. For heaven's sake, she'd been shot and injured enough times in her life, she should be used to it by now.
"I've been a scientist too long" she said out loud, just to reassure herself her voice still worked. "I've forgotten how painful pain is." She laughed at her own joke, feeble though it was. The laughter was proof she was alive, they were all alive, it was going to be ok...
"What are you doing up?"
Sam half expected to see Janet. Instead a tall, human (she presumed) doctor stood there. He was going grey at the temples, the rest of his hair was black, his eyes were grey, and oddly cool, and he asked the question doctor's always ask with a faintly uninterested tone, as if he didn't really care if she got up and fell down a black hole.
"Hello." She said, smiling, friendly.
"Get back into bed." Dr Petersen (it was on his lapel, neatly sewed in script) told her.
"Just tell me a few things first please."
"Your husband is outside, waiting." he told her. Her husband. For just a brief second she had to concentrate to remember who he meant. Then she remembered...Joe! She felt a quick stab of guilt for forgetting him, but it passed.
"The others...." She asked.
"The other members of your conspiracy? What the hell were you trying to do?" he asked, genuinely perplexed. She smiled.
"You wouldn't understand. Are they here?"
"Teal'c has been exiled back to Chulack. Daniel Jackson is here. He's under arrest, like you."
"And the Colonel...I mean, Jack O'Neill?" she asked, almost tripping over the unfamiliar feel of his name in her voice.
A sudden shadow crossed his face, the clinical coolness in his eyes replaced by human emotion for just a second.
"You really need to get back into bed." He insisted.
"I will." She told him, suddenly worried. A sudden cold knot of fear had formed in her gut....one she hadn't felt for a long time. Not since a corridor, in a ship, with the forcefield shimmering between them, and the Jaffa approaching, and he wouldn't leave, he was going to die....she pushed the unbidden memory away. "Just tell me, please, where is he?"
"I was told not to tell you. Your husband was very explicit on this point..." Dr Petersen said, reluctantly.
"I need to know." She said, her voice low and forceful. Something of her, of their past, must have come through in her voice, because Dr. Petersen's brow creased up in sympathy.
"I'm sorry." He said, and every word fell heavily into the room, like stones in a lake. "Colonel O'Neill was very badly injured. He died on the way to hospital."
Sam had never been the kind of woman who fainted. But reality had become too much for her. Her body crumpled inelegantly onto the floor, as her mind slipped into forgiving blackness.
She woke again, and again, day after day. And every day she remembered. He'd died. She'd killed him.
Every day, Dr. Petersen came to check on her. And every day, he frowned, looking down at her chart.
"Physically, your wounds are healing." He told her. "I don't understand why you're not getting better."
"I don't feel any better." She said. "I have a pain."
"Where?" he asked, placing his cool, competent hands on her abdomen, as if he could draw the pain out with his touch.
"In my stomach." She told him. "It's a kind of dragging, pulling pain."
"There's nothing wrong with you." He said gently.
"Then what's causing the pain?"
"Grief." He said, his face lined with an empathic sorrow.
"Oh." She said simply.
Day after day, she lay there, feeling the grief in her belly, letting the tears fall down her face. If it wasn't for her, he'd never have been there, struggling to complete a mission he hadn't chosen, hadn't planned, hadn't even wanted to be part of. What had she needed him for anyway? Why hadn't she left him, to his cabin in the woods, to the peace, and quiet? Why had she needed him?
"Why do you think you needed him?"
Sam looked up, around, surprised. Daniel sat there, on the chair by her bad. His arm was in a sling, and a massive bruise extended all down the left side of his face. He was smiling at her, but it was a gentle, sorrowful smile.
"You were talking aloud." He told her. "I didn't mean to intrude. I was worried about you."
"No...no, it's good to see you, Daniel. How long have I been lying here?"
"Couple of weeks. I should stay there as long as you can if possible. They're going to arrest us as soon as we're out of here. Joe's already been arrested."
"They arrested Joe? What for?"
"As an accessory. Don't worry, I think Kinsey's trying to get him out. I'm more worried about you."
"I'm fine." She said, propping herself up into a sitting position.
"No, you're not." He insisted. "I know you, Sam. I've lain there, in the next room, and heard you, muttering, all night, about Jack."
"It was my fault."
"No, it wasn't."
"If I hadn't asked him..."
"So why did you ask him?"
She thought, for a long while, trying to cast her mind back. She only knew, that when she decided to go back, to change her future, she'd known she needed him. She couldn't have done it without him.
"I needed him."
"Why?"
"To take command." She said slowly. "To be the soldier to my scientist. Take charge, make me think about what I'm doing. Take responsibility."
"Why couldn't you command?"
"I'm a scientist, not a soldier."
"You were a soldier."
"But not any more. Once the Aschen came, I was a scientist. I didn't need to be a soldier any more. I could just do my work. I didn't need to fight, or lead, or take any responsibility whatsoever."
"That's a shame. You could have made a good commander."
"No.."
"Jack always thought so."
She turned round and looked at him, surprised.
"He did talk to me, you know," Daniel said, smiling at her. "He told me that one day you would make a wonderful commanding officer. He had absolute faith in you."
She turned to look at him. The Colonel had thought that? She tried to remember what it was like, to make the life or death decisions in a white-hot, split-second moment, to have the lives of others, lives she cared for and nurtured, in her hands, sending her friends to possible death.
Thinking. Planning. Leading.
Winning.
"We're not staying here to be arrested." She said sharply. "We're leaving. I have a mission to carry out, and I'm going to do it one way or another." She told Daniel, her voice crisp, and sharp.
"Good." Daniel said, standing up. "That's what I hoped you say. And I may have a way out of here."
"What way?"
"Did you know that there's a resistance movement against the Aschen across the galaxy? Ours isn't the only planet they've tried to destroy. I met one of their representatives. He was disguised as a nurse, came and changed my bandages, and told me he could help."
"Does he have a way out of here?"
"No, but he's eager to help. Very eager, like a puppy dog. I'll send him to you. His name is Jonas."
It was midnight before she met him. He crept into her room, tiptoeing towards the bed, afraid to wake her.
"You must be Jonas." She said, from across the room. She was up and dressed, sitting on a chair behind the door.
"And you're Sam." He said, smiling widely. "I'm here to rescue you, which sounds a bit dramatic, but I want to help any way you can, so, here, I got you this." He handed her a zat gun.
"How did you get this?" she asked, taking it from him.
"Can I tell you later? We have to leave now."
"What about Daniel?"
"Already gone. Please, they're coming to arrest you now, please come with me."
Sam got up, and followed him out the door, guns at the ready. In the distance, she could hear small explosions, like fireworks.
"What's that?" she asked.
"You friend creating a diversion." Jonas said, hurriedly leading her through the corridors, looking back occasionally to ensure she was following.
"You won't get far." A shadowy figure stepped out in front of them. Dr. Petersen. "They'll track you down and kill you."
"We are leaving." Sam insisted. He looked at her, then nodded.
"Take my car." He said, holding out his keys. "It's the jeep at the far end of the parking lot. It's got a full tank."
"Thanks." Jonas said warily, taking the keys. Petersen didn't look at him. Instead he stared at Sam. His face was impassive, but his eyes were full of unexpressed anguish.
"Succeed." He said. "I know what you were going to do, and why. For all our sakes, succeed."
"I will." She promised, moving round him.
"One more thing!" he called, after her. She turned to face him. "Something you should know. Your friend, Jack. He didn't die of his wounds. They murdered him in the ambulance."
Jonas shivered as he looked at Sam's face. Her eyes had turned icy, her face set. Anger, menace, poured out of her. He suddenly felt pity for O'Neill's murderers. They were going to suffer once she found them.
She said nothing else, but ran in to the parking lot, searching for the jeep. She found it, and Jonas was unlocking the door, as someone ran up.
"They believe you are escaping through the other side of the building. We should be able to get away safely." He said.
"Teal'c!" Sam cried, hurriedly hugging him. Teal'c smiled at her. "Dr. Frasier and Daniel Jackson have already escaped. They will join us soon."
"Good. I'm driving." Sam said, clambering in and taking the keys off Jonas.
"Where are we going?" Jonas asked.
"I know a place," Sam said, "where the bass grow this big."
"Really?"
"Oh, yeah."
They drove for miles, Jonas finally falling asleep in the back. Teal'c sat up front, with Sam.
"You heard about the Colonel?" she said at last.
"I did."
"We'll get the bastards who did that."
"That may not be necessary. Although I would assist you in any bloodfeud you participate in."
Sam smiled.
"Thank you. Are Daniel and Janet at the lake?"
"No, they are following up some information Dr. Frasier recently acquired on Chu'lack."
"What information?"
"That I do not know. I only know it came from the last of the Tok'ra."
They were silent again for a while. Last time Sam had driven up here, she'd gotten lost twice. Now, though, she was finding her way almost instinctively. She was tired, and distressed, and still in pain from her wound, but she felt an odd, soothing calm. She wasn't sure if it was the pain-killing drugs, or just that she had finally decided to take control of her life, her destiny. She had a purpose, and it felt right, like she had finally taken the right track.
"What are you going to do once we get to this cabin?" Jonas asked, waking up in the back seat. He yawned, and stretched, like a cat.
"I need some information on an old mission." Sam said. "The Colonel kept a diary, and I'm hoping he wrote down what I need."
"I remember the mission you mean. I regret I did not keep a written record." Teal'c said, glancing out the window to the rising sun.
"Well, what about the old mission records." Jonas asked.
"Kept under lock and key. Besides, I get the feeling there was more to the mission than the Colonel wrote in his official report." Sam said, stealing a sideways look at Teal'c.
"There often was." Teal'c replied, impassively.
They arrived at the cabin just as the sun finally rose over the horizon. Sam stopped for a minute, breathing in the air, deeply. It was so lovely here. So calm, so undisturbed. The air was fresh on her face, carrying the scent of the trees, that faintest tang of salt from the lake. It felt reviving, stimulating, but soothing too. She stopped before she went into the cabin, and walked to the end of the little wooden landing, looking out over the lake, clear and blue in the early sunshine.
This was where he stood. Where he sat, and dangled his line into the water, pretending he was fishing. All those years, those days spent looking out over the water, just thinking. Did he think of her at all? Did he remember her with affection, with pain, with regret, with hate? Or did he never think of her? Did he do what she had done, and push away every thought of her, try to forget the feelings she'd stirred in him, welcomed the quiet, easy life instead of remembering the passionate, turbulent storms of emotion they could awake in one another?
But she'd finally stopped hiding. Finally stopped waiting for others to push her in the right direction. There was no-one to guide her now, and she suddenly realised how lonely his life must have been, how isolated. She'd always thought he was among friends, but he wasn't. He'd led them, and she's never know before how solitary that could be.
"I did love you, Jack." She whispered, out to the silent lake. "I should have told you. I'm sorry. But I didn't know it myself."
She went inside, and joined Teal'c and Jonas in the search for Jack's diary.
It didn't take them long to find the diaries. They were big, grey backed books, one for each year he'd served with SG1. The writing inside was firm, and straight, and clear, and his language sounded so like him, that Sam could almost hear his voice in the room. But these weren't just plain mission reports. As Sam flicked through them, she could see he'd recorded every thought, every emotion, unflinchingly. He'd recorded every mistake he'd made, and he seemed to feel he'd made a lot. He never praised himself, but was unstinting in his praise for others. She caught glimpses of his admiration for Daniel's courage, his principles, even when they ran contrary to his own, his unfailing support for Teal'c, his amused affection for Hailey, his growing friendship with Janet, his trust of Davis, his respect for Hammond. He'd recorded all of these.
And then sometimes she caught a glimpse of her name. 'Carter' at first, 'Sam' later. Early on, he talked about how she was a good soldier, 'despite being a scientist', her courage, her brilliance. As time went on, he spoke of her more tenderly. He had written down, in carefully gentle language, of his concern over her blending, his growing need to protect her. Still in awe of her mind, he wrote down everything she said to him, every time she smiled at him. He wrote of Nareem and Martouf, Orlin, and Lieutenant Simmons. He wrote down his distress at having to hurt her when he went undercover, the aching pain inside him as he pushed her away and saw the anguish in her eyes.
Then he stopped writing about her at all. One page merely said;
'I love her.'
She'd never known he felt so much, so intensely. He'd never said. Now, as she looked at the page where he'd written 'Sam' over and over again, she cried. Not for the loss of the man, but for the loss of the love.
Hours later, she finally found the page she wanted. It read;
'Today, I learnt how to throw pots, speak Ancient Latin, and drive a golf ball through a wormhole. I also taught Teal'c how to juggle, and helped Daniel with the translation of over 400 pages of alien text. I rode a bike through the corridors, and ate a helluva lot of Froot Loops. Busy day? Well yeah, but as it was over three months long, I had plenty of time.'
Sam took the diary out onto the little dock, and curled up on the chair parked at the end of it, leaving Teal'c explaining what had happened that day to Jonas.
'So, today was Groundhog day. I'd thought I'd go insane by the end of it. I mean, what the hell is that question Daniel keeps asking me? Mind you, any day where I learn to say 'coronal mass emission' and 'abicierum' can't be totally wasted, right?'
Sam read through the whole page, laughing at Jack's efforts to learn Latin, learning for the first time of exactly how he'd kept himself occupied. Jack had said nothing in the original reports about playing golf, or riding bikes, and she found herself giggling at the image of Daniel turning around and catching Teal'c and Jack juggling.
She hadn't giggled, like this, like a child, in years.
'I can't say I blame Malakai, in the end. How far would I go if I lost S...someone I loved? Would I turn back time? I think if I could, I would.'
Sam reread those lines over and over again, before she continued with the rest of the story. Eventually, she found something she could use.
She called out to Teal'c.
"Teal'c, Jack says he kept a copy of the translation in case it happened again. Can you find it?"
"We will look." He called, dragging Jonas back into the cabin. He didn't want Sam disturbed. He wanted her to know what was in that diary.
Sam turned the page. And there she read it.
'In one loop, I've gotta confess, I kissed Sam. To be honest, as soon as Daniel said I could do anything, without consequences, I've been thinking about that. But I held off for a while. It seemed sneaky, almost cheating, to kiss her without consequences, without worrying what would happen next.
So, I decided I wouldn't. But in the end, I had to. I wouldn't go any further than a kiss, to do that to her, knowing she wouldn't know anything about it when things got back to normal, that would be wrong. But one kiss. What harm could one kiss do?
Except now, I know what's it like to kiss Sam. I know that at first, she'll be surprised, than she'll return the kiss, easily as passionate as me. I know she'd give into it, trusting me completely. I know the softness of cheek under my hand, the feel of her body leaning into mine. I look at her, and all I can think about is that kiss.
I have to stop this. Before it goes too far. She asked it to stay in the room, and I'm taking it out. Things can't continue like this. If they do, we could end up having a relationship, and that would ruin both our careers. Mine's over, I don't care, but not hers. One day she'll make the best damn commander this air force has ever seen, and I'm not going to risk that. I'm not worth the risk.
I love her too much to ask her to love me back.'
Sam closed the diary, feeling suddenly guilty, as if she'd trespassed, somewhere she shouldn't. she lay back in the chair, closing her eyes against the sharp brightness of the sun. She was so tired. So much had changed in the past few weeks. She felt she'd lived a lifetime in just a month. She began to think back, think of all the moments between her and Jack, moment that had taken on a different significance now.
That first meeting.
Kissing in the locker room.
Dying with him in Antarctica
Hearing his voice as Jolinar disappeared
Holding his hand as she told him she'd have to kill him to save him
Hugging him after Jack had killed Hathor.
His smile as he promoted her to Major
Watching him kiss her mirror image
"I haven't been acting like myself since I met you"
"I'm going fishing. Wanna come?"
Watching him walk down the corridor to his almost inevitable death to save her
"I care about her. A lot more than I'm supposed to."
Jonah and Therra, falling in love
"Sir."
Rescuing him from the rogue ship
"Hey. Hi."
Coming off their addiction to the Light together
"If you don't let her go, we'll send thousands of probes to your world. We'll destroy you."
"I was calling, but you couldn't hear me."
Slowly, Sam drifted off to sleep. She dreamed, so vividly, of him. His voice, the feel of his breath on her cheek, the surprisingly gentle touch of his hand, his shy, sweet smile, that was just for her. Her dream was so vivid, that when she opened her eyes, and saw him standing there, she thought she was still dreaming.
"Hi." He said softly, smiling diffidently.
She wasn't dreaming. He was there. in front of her. Alive.
She didn't speak. She jumped up, cupped his face in her hands, and kissed him, long and passionately and deep. He didn't pull away. He responded, more gently, as if he were afraid that she'd break if he held her too close. Her entire body strained towards him, as if she could become part of him if she just held him tight enough. He gathered her in, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into the safety of his grasp. Vaguely, Sam was aware of Daniel saying,
"We'll just go inside now."
But she didn't care. She wasn't aware of anything except the feel of him, the smell of him, the aliveness of him.
But eventually she pulled back, and stood there, panting slightly.
"Hi." She replied.
"You're you, right?" he asked, puzzled, and flushed. "I mean, you're not some robot, or alien? Have you lost your memory? You know who I am, right?"
"Yes, sir." She said, grinning like a schoolgirl.
"So, why'd you kiss me?"
"Because I love you."
"Are you sure?" He looked down, seeing the diary by the chair. "Oh, you didn't read that, did you."
"I thought you were dead."
"I was." He said gently. "Until you came back."
And this time he kissed her, and they kept right on kissing.
Inside the cabin, Teal'c had found the notes of the writing on the altar on P4X639.
"We should tell Sam." Jonas said, heading outside.
"Sam's kind of busy right now." Janet said, coming in as Jonas crashed in to Daniel in the doorway. Teal'c glanced outside.
"I had a feeling he would be alive." Teal'c said.
"Who's that?" Jonas asked, a little peeved to find a strange man kissing Sam so passionately.
"That is Jack O'Neill." Daniel explained.
"I thought he was dead."
"He doesn't die easily. None of us do."
"There were Tok'ra in the ambulance." Janet explained. "They had a cloaked ship in orbit. Once they had Jack, they ringed up to the ship, and brought him to me on Chulack."
"And the Aschen covered up the escape by saying he died. It's embarrassing, losing such an important prisoner.." Daniel added. "Let me see those notes."
Both Sam and Jack had thought that when the time came for them to say the 'l' word to each other, they would be a lot to say. Discussions to have, mistakes straightened out, reasons explained. But, as it turned out, there was no need. Everything was said in body language. There was no longer any need to explain, or understand. All they needed was each other, nearby, close by, touching, kissing.
But eventually reality had to be faced, and they walked back into the cabin. The others tried not to show on their faces that Sam and Jack had been outside, kissing, for several hours, except Jonas, who watched them unabashedly.
"So, what happens now?" Jonas asked.
"Well, I have an idea." Sam said, sharing a quick grin with Jack. "The original plan is still good, sending a note back through time. We just have to find a different way to go back."
"Hence the interest in the timeloop." Daniel said.
"Exactly. We go back to P4X639, set the mechanism going again."
"Start the time loop again?" Janet asked.
"No, this time we get it right. This time, we link into the time loop, and in the final loop, we send a note back with ourselves."
"You're going to meet yourselves?" Jonas said.
"No. we never actually go back in time. We place the note on the Stargate, and send it back in time, but in the same place. When they get sent back, the note gets sent back."
"But even the ancients can't get this thing working. What makes you think you can?"
"Hey!" Jack said. "Have you forgotten this is the women the Asgards...the smartest people in the universe...turn to when they need help?"
Sam smiled, blushing slightly.
"We know more this time. We have access to more advanced technology. We have the translations. I think we could do this."
"I'll contact the Tok'ra ship." Daniel send, stepping outside.
"It's odd, isn't it?" Jonas said.
"What?" Sam asked.
"How the Tok'ra ship just happened to be here to rescue Jack. How they just happened to get the ambulance with Jack in it. How none of the Aschen has found us here yet. How you managed to escape from the hospital so easily."
"What are you saying?" Jack asked, bad-temperedly.
"Nothing. I'm just saying...it's almost like someone's controlling all this."
"Hey, you're the only one we don't know." Jack told him. "If you're saying one of us can't be trusted, then I say it's you."
"Jonas is ok." Daniel said, coming in. "He just notices too much. The Tok'ra is on the way."
It was like old times again. A Tok'ra ship (really an old Gou'ald ship), all four of them together. Five, with Janet. Even Jonas seemed to be slotting in nicely. Daniel was talking to him a lot, keeping him out of Jack's way. Jack, though, was too busy to notice Jonas. He was with Sam. Silently he sat and watched Sam work through her plans. He'd always loved this. Just to sit there, and watch Sam's mind turn over, creating wonderful solutions to his insoluble problems. He'd first realised he'd fallen in love with her like this, sitting on a lab stool, fiddling with something she'd given him, watching her smile and frown as she worked. He'd sat there, watching her invent, and he'd thought to himself 'she really is quite amazing. No wonder I love her.'
"You sure you can pull this off?" he asked her.
"No."
"But you're going to try."
"I have to. I have to try."
"Why?"
"Because I can." She said simply. "I'm tired of sitting back and letting someone else order me what to do. I'm tired of living my life by rules and regulations. I'm ready to take the initiative, to go out there, and put things right, without being asked to by you...no offence."
"None taken. Go on."
"I just want ....I want to be the one giving the orders, not taking them. I'm ready to take charge, and I know I can do it."
"Finally." Jack said, getting up and walking across to her
"What do you mean?"
"Almost from the first moment I met you, I knew you were special. Not just to me, but as you. I knew you had the potential to take my place, and be a lot better at it then I was, and I worked so hard to put you there. I'm proud of you, Major."
"Colonel." She gently reminded him, her eyes twinkling, teasing.
"Colonel. You take charge, when we get there. I have absolute faith in you."
"Yes sir. And by the way..if you weren't such a good commander, I wouldn't have turned out so well."
"Good. Stop talking now." He said, bending down to kiss her.
"I'm in charge. I'll decide when we stop talking." She teased, but she reached up, kissing him back. At the back of both their minds was the knowledge that within hours this would be over. Time would have changed.
Still, they both knew they'd be together in the new timeline. How could they not be? They were Sam and Jack. They belonged together. They were soulmates. However long it took them, whatever obstacles they overcame, they would be in love, together.
P4X639 hadn't changed much. Still red. Still dusty. Still too much sun.
"Doesn't there have to be a geomagnetic storm to get the altar working?" Daniel asked.
"We can cause one from the Tok'ra ship." Sam explained. "Anyone got some gum?"
Jonas handed her some gum from his pocket, and she stuck some in her mouth and began to chew.
"Why?" Jonas asked.
"She can't place the note in front of the gate, it'll be disintegrated when it opens. She'll stick it on some gum, the gum'll stick to someone's shoe, they'll track it back to the SGC." Jack explained.
The others looked at him incredulously, except Sam, who smiled to herself as she stuck the gum to the note.
"Hey, I do listen sometimes." He protested.
"There is someone at the altar." Teal'c told them. They looked up, and followed Teal'c to the altar.
A man stood there. His face peeled with sunburn. His eyes were dark and haunted, his hands jerked spasmodically round the altar, he was worn thin with anxiety, with need.
"Malakai?" Jack asked, unsure.
"Who's Malakai?" Jonas asked.
"The archaeologist who was here before. He was trying to turn time back so he could see his wife again."
"Why are you here?" Teal'c asked Malakai. "You cannot turn time back."
"I've had ten years to study my notes. I believe there is a way."
"You haven't got a geomagnetic storm." Sam pointed out.
"But I will have. You've caused one."
"You can't have known we were coming." Daniel told him.
"But I did! I've done this journey, so many times, here, alone, on this planet! You always come."
"And then...." Jack asked.
"You cause the storm. I've never got further. But I will today."
"But what's the point?" Jack cried out in exasperation. "We've been through this, Malakai. You watch your wife die, over and over again. Why?"
"I have a cure." Malakai said, excitedly. "The Aschen vaccine."
"The Aschen vaccine makes you sterile, too." Sam said gently. "They've destroyed whole civilisations, whole planets, with it. We have to stop them."
"I don't care! I want her alive again! You don't know what I'd do, you don't know the agony I've gone through, it's like having my heart ripped out, bit by bit, slowly, every day, you have no idea what it's like!"
"I do." Sam told him, stepping past Jack. "I do, I swear. I know what it's like to lose someone you love, I know how painful it is, and believe me, I know what it's like to want to turn back time to get them back." She stepped forward a little more, ignoring Jack's whispered
"Careful"
as Malakai raised his gun to her.
"I know, because I almost did the same thing. When I originally decided to come back here, it wasn't to save the universe. I'd just heard that the man I loved more than life itself had died, and my first thought was that I could come back here and bring him back to life. That was all I wanted."
Behind her, Janet stirred uneasily, and Jack stared intensely at her, so intensely she could feel his gaze on her back. Daniel moved round, to her side, nodding encouragingly at her.
"I wasn't even aware I could feel that strongly." She said, involuntary tears springing to her eyes as she remembered the sudden thudding, gut-wrenching pain. "I was torn apart."
"But that changed."
"He's alive."
"But my wife isn't!"
"He's alive, and I realised he wouldn't want me to do that for him. If I used this," she gestured at the altar "to bring him back from the dead, instead of using it to save millions of lives, then I wouldn't be the woman he loved. If you miss this chance to rid the universe of the Aschen, will your wife forgive you?"
Malakai looked round, at all the men and women around him, wanting him to give up his last hope, his obsession to save the woman he loved. Sam glanced back, towards Jack. he looked at her, his gaze astonished, and reassuring and loving, all at once.
"I know what happens to you all." Malakai said suddenly. "I've travelled in time. I've seen the other past. You don't want to live that life, believe me. You" he said suddenly, pointing at Daniel, "You die. Slowly. Painfully. You, Teal'c...your son becomes Ba'al's First Prime and will end up murdering you in a dusty room in a bar far away from Chu'lack, because he knows he cannot beat you in battle. You, Dr. Frasier, you catch a virus from a patient from another world, and infect your daughter before you die. Jonas, you are exiled from your word when you expose the real reason Daniel Jackson died...that's your fault, by the way...and you spend the rest of your life on Earth, never fitting in, never going home."
"And you two." He said, pointing at Sam and Jack, who'd moved to stand close together. "you think you'll end up together, living happily ever after? Because you won't. You , Colonel O'Neill, catch an incurable disease. She," he said, pointing at Sam, "will persuade you to be blended with a Tok'ra to cure it. Unfortunately, that Tok'ra will cause you to be tortured, over and over again by a Gou'ald. You end up broken by the experience, you have to retire, and you never forgive her for that. And you, Major Carter, you'll end up being dishonourably discharged from the Air Force after you lead a disastrous and unauthorised mission to rescue your father from the Gou'ald, a mission that ends up with the death of most of your team. You end up in an insane asylum, still trying to convince the world that aliens really exist.
Do you really want that reality, as opposed to this one?"
"If it's also a reality where Earth survives, where the Aschen have been defeated, then yes. I'll accept that future in exchange for that." Sam said, without a moment's hesitation. Jack looked down at her, with an expression she'd seen many times before on his face, but never recognised. She knew it now. It was pride.
"That goes for me too." Jack said. He bent down, and whispered in her ear "I love you. That'll never change."
"I also agree." Teal'c said, though he looked grim.
"Fine by me." Jonas told him.
"Yes." Janet said, even though she looked pale and shaken.
"Daniel?" Sam asked.
"I don't have to answer. I've already chosen." Daniel said.
"What?" Jack asked.
"I'm really did die in the ambulance." Daniel said, and Sam noticed that Daniel was almost...shimmering. His outline seemed blurred. "I ascended."
"Ascended?" Jonas asked.
"You became a white glowy thing? Like Oma?" Jack asked.
"I did."
"But you're not white and glowing." Sam pointed out.
"They let me take on human form until I'd finished this. Jonas was right. All those bizarre coincidences were not coincidences. I caused them. And Malakai isn't really here."
Malakai faded.
"What the hell's going on?" Jack demanded.
"A test. I'm sorry, this wasn't my idea, but they had to be sure your motives were pure. They had to be sure you'd make the right choice. They had to know that you would choose the safety of millions of people over your own happiness, your own security. And you did."
"Why? Who was testing us?" Sam asked.
"Why? Because things are going to happen to you, things we want to be sure you're right for.They want to make sure they chose the right people. I tried to make them take my word for it but..."
"Who?" Jonas asked, again.
"The Ancients. They wanted to make sure you were worthy to use this device."
"So you're one of the Ancients?"
"No, I just work for them. Go ahead and do it, Sam. Your plan will work. And remember this...your journey's just beginning."
Daniel faded into a white cloud, which slipped way into the atmosphere.
"My life just keeps getting stranger and stranger." Jack murmured, but no-one heard him.
Sam moved to the altar. The magnetic storm was at its height now, and the altar had begun to move, the stones moving up and down. Sam made some adjustments, and turned the switch, then she stepped off the altar. Jack wrapped his arms around her.
"It'll be ok." He reassured her. "Didn't Daniel just say we were chosen.?"
"There's gum on my shoe!" Jack complained loudly. "How the hell did I get gum on my shoe on an alien planet, for cryin' out loud!"
"There's something stuck to the gum." Sam pointed out, reaching out and grabbing the note.
"Do not go to...... Why not?" Daniel asked.
"I have no idea. Why do these things keep happening to me?" Jack grouched, as they left.
"Obviously you are chosen, O'Neill."
"Huh." Jack grunted, as he followed Carter down the locker room. Dammit, he was still thinking about that kiss.
But still, what harm could one kiss do?
THE END.
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