Tradition
Tradition
by Michelle Birkby
TITLE: Tradition
AUTHOR: Michelle Birkby
EMAIL: mbirky@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: CoTG, Tokra, In the line of duty, The Devil You Know, Jolinar's Memories
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Once a year Sam and Jack do this.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Once again I'm writing a story based on episodes I havent' seen. Sorry for any mistakes.
The first time.
I took a deep drink from my beer, leaned against the bar, and tried to relax for the first time in a few days. The bar was full of SG people, and I was guessing this was going to become a favourite watering hole in the years to come. Teal'c was sitting in one corner, observing silently. I raised my beer in a silent salute, and he nodded in acknowledgement. I hope that guy settles in okay. It must be hell, betraying everything you've ever believed in, and fought for, to come to a place you don't know, full of people who don't understand you. I think he'll be okay though.
I look around Danny. I'm worried about that guy, though God forbid he should ever know that. But then, who wouldn't be worried? He's just seen his wife taken over by a gou'ald. God knows how I would have coped if that had happened to Sara. But Danny....all he's done is swear to find her. I hope to God he does.
There he is. And he's actually smiling. As the guy blocking my view moved, I can see why. He's talking to my new second-in-command, Captain Carter, and she seems to be cheering him up. Well, at least that's one good thing she's done. Along with actually being a damn good captain, saving my ass, actually trying that foul drink of Skarra's, and not being a tight-assed scientist.
"Jack, how you doing!".
Kawalsky, cheerful, irreverent, totally disrespecting of my rank as usual. I like this guy.
"It should have been you." I reply. He follows my gaze to my new captain, who's chatting to some guy with a dodgy beard now, and not looking happy about it.
"Hey, my time will come. And I like her. She deserves it.".
Well, this is a complete turn around from the guy. He hates scientists as much as I do, not to mention the fact that he thinks all women in the military are closet lesbians. Kawalsky's not a very liberated guy. He sees my incredulous expression, and reddens silently.
"Yeah, I know." he says. "But I was a jerk. She did good work out there today, you know she did.".
I nod reluctantly in reply.
"And I've been talking to her. I like her. She's fun, bright, makes me laugh. And Ferreti.".
"Ferreti laughed?". Not that Ferreti doesn't laugh. It's just he doesn't get on too well with strangers.
"He adores her...not in that way. You've got yourself a good captain there, Jack.".
His face is serious, and he knows I mean it. I take Kawalsky's recommendations seriously. He has good judgement about people, and there must something special about Sam Carter to have made him change his opinion so quickly. I glanced over to her. Daniel was talking to Teal'c now, and she was absorbed in conversation with the bearded guy.
"Who's that?" I asked.
"Trouble." Kawalsky said darkly. "His name is Jonas. He was engaged to our Captain Carter, till she broke it off. I don't think he's too happy about it.".
I noticed Kawalsky's frown as he looked at the guy. I also noticed the way he said 'our Captain Carter'. I guess she'd become one of the team right before my eyes...and I don't like anyone upsetting one of my team. I sauntered over.
"Jonas, I really don't want to dance with you." she was saying.
"It's just a dance Sam. C'mon, why won't you dance with me?".
"Because she's dancing with me." I said smoothly, before I'd thought about it. Jonas stared for a moment, then walked off. Carter let out a big sigh.
"Thank you Sir." she said.
"That guy's not going to be a problem is he?" "No, its alright, he'll settle down.".
"Well, if he is, I'll get him transferred. I don't want my team having problems.".
She looked up at me, eyes wide and questioning.
"Kawalsky likes you." I explained. "And I tend to trust him. You'll do. You can stay.".
Wow, what a smile. The kind that, if I weren't her commanding officer, would stop my heart dead still.
Music starts to play, and I hold out my hand to lead her to the dance floor.
"Sir, you don't have to..." she starts to say.
"He's watching. I think we'd better." I reply. "But I ....umm, where do I put my hands?".
She giggles.
"I'm not sure." she says. "I don't dance much either. Just put them where they feel comfortable.".
I put one hand on her waist, and one her shoulder. She does the same. Then the music starts.
Oh no. That song.
'I'm not in love.
So don't forget it It's just a silly phase I'm going through.'.
Sara used to say that this song reminded her of me...the way I'd never admit I loved her. That's all I need right now. I glance down. Carter is staring at her feet, trying to work out how to move them.
"Carter." I say. She looks up. "Just shuffle them a little.".
"Oh. Okay.".
And so we dance. Slowly. Awkwardly. She smiles in embarrassment, and then in amusement at our attempts to move in time. And we talk. I get the history of Jonas from her. She gets the history of Daniel and Sha're from me.
"True love. Almost the moment he saw her." I explain.
"How..perfect." she murmurs in reply. And slowly, the awkwardness ends. By the time I hear the words 'Be quiet. Be poised and quiet.'.
we have begun to be friends.
The song ends, and we smile at each other, and she goes to join Daniel. I join Kawalsky at the bar, who for some reason is grinning enigmatically at me.
"What?" I ask.
"You've never danced with me." he says, mocking me. I thump him on the arm, perhaps harder then necessary, and turn back to my beer.
Then I realise. For all the time I danced with Carter, I never thought of Sara once. Not once.
The second time.
We'd decided to celebrate a year of being SG1 and not dying (Daniel didn't count) by going to the bar and getting drunk. We'd been going to the same bar ever since the beginning. It was cheap and cheerful, and the staff didn't seem too curious about the fact that half their customers would disappear for days at a time then come back talking about ancient gods and other planets. We liked it.
And truth to tell, I needed a drink. First I get taken over by Jollinar. Not a pleasant experience. Then I meet Jollinar's love. And that throws up all kinds of feelings and emotions, and I don't know which are mine and which are hers. Now all I want is some simple laughs with some friends who don't demand explanations as to why I'm tired, or confused.
"Here we are." says Jack, bringing the drinks. "A beer for me, whisky for the archaeologist, tequila with a worm for the guy with a worm and a large Baileys for the lady." "You normally drink beer." Daniel said.
"So do you." I replied. We both shrugged, and started to drink, as Jack watched.
Jack always watches. I'd got used to him watching Daniel and Teal'c. Keeping an eye on Daniel to make sure he didn't wander off (he doesn't know that I know he spent a good hour swearing at himself after we lost Daniel when he went through the mirror), keeping an eye on Teal'c to check he's coping with Earth life. He'd always pretty much left me to my own devices. I was military, I was human, I could cope.
Until Jollinar. I know he blamed himself for that. I don't know why. And afterwards, Teal'c came to me and told me how after the ashrak had 'killed' me, he refused to leave me, even when the base was threatened. He'd stood there, refusing to leave my side. He'd refused to give up hope, refused to leave me. Janet confirmed it. I was ..touched. I refused to allow my emotions to run any deeper than that, to explore long buried feelings and hopes and dreams. That way disaster lies. Yet I couldn't help but notice that he watched me now too. He never let me wander off my own any more. Either he came, or he sent Teal'c after me. Now, he worried about me just as much as he did for Daniel.
I breathed deeply, and closed my eyes, relaxing for the first time in a few days. I was tired, sleepy, and as I drifted in my subconscious, a familiar song started to float through my mind.
'I'm not in love It's because'
"We danced to this once, didn't we?" I said, waking up suddenly and surprising Jack. He nodded.
"Do you want to...?" he asked hesitantly. I nodded, and got up. He followed.
His hands moved easily to my waist and shoulder this time, and he smiled, slightly embarrassed, but it was a rare, genuine smile. We started to move, awkwardly at first, then comfortably.
"This is becoming a tradition." I said, my mind drifting a little.
"As long as I don't have to dance with the Teal'c and Danny too, I don't mind." he said, grinning. We moved round the floor. The words of the song dancing through my mind.
' I keep your picture upon the wall It hides a nasty stain that's lying there But don't you ask me To give it back I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me I'm not in love oh no It's because' Jack looked thoughtful, quiet.
"What's wrong?" I asked. He looked confused, almost as if he'd forgotten I was there. The he deliberated for a moment, then said.
"Sara used to say this song reminded her of me. I'd never admit I was in love, just stay silent, and love from afar.".
"That's sad." I said. I felt dizzy...perhaps the Bailey's. Perhaps not. "You were thinking of Sara, how you never told her you loved her?". God only knows what made me ask that. I don't.
He looked down at me, and said, very softly, very gently, so afterwards I would swear I dreamed it.
"No, I wasn't thinking of Sara. I don't think I do love her any more.".
I was tired, exhausted, and a little drunk. My treacherous, romantic, wild imagination suddenly, against all my common sense and fears, started to dream all kinds of things I'd never dared dream before. The ideas in my head made me dizzy. I leaned forward, against his shoulder, and nestled there, smelling him, feeling the roughness of his shirt against my cheek. His arm tightened around my waist, and I just about heard him ask, as if from very far away, "Sam, are you okay?".
I slipped into my dreams, and fantasies.
When I woke up next morning, I was in my own bed, and Janet was shaking me awake.
"You okay?" she asked. I nodded. "You passed out." She continued. "Jack said the two of you were dancing, and you passed out on his shoulder.".
"I remember..." I said slowly.
"Dancing with Jack? I should hope so. Danny and Teal'c said he just scooped you up, carried you to his car, and the three of them took you home, then called me. Jack was here when I arrived, fairly worried.".
"He was?".
"I told him it was sheer exhaustion. You've got a week off. Now sleep.".
I lay down, willing to follow Janet's order's.
"One more thing." she said, as she left. "Jack said goodbye to you last night...and kissed you, once on the cheek. Now dream of that, and wake up happy.".
And I did.
The third time.
As soon as we got back, and once all the debriefing was over, we headed for the bar. By common consent, we didn't talk about it..Hell, Jacob, any of it. We just sat there, slightly stunned. The bar was crowded, but the rest of SGC knew better than to disturb us, and no-one spoke to us, although I saw several concerned glances from Graham Simmons directed at Sam. Jack kept glancing at her too. He rarely moved from her side. If he could have, I think he would have put his arms around her, and held her safe.
"I want to get drunk." I said.
"Good idea." Jack replied, and as the drink flowed, we loosened up. We laughed again, and ignored it when one of us winced from the pain of scars we'd received in Hell. Teal'c made a bee-line for Janet. I made a bee-line for the pin-ball machine (I really love that machine. I don't know why). Sam and Jack joined the arm-wrestling contest in the corner. I saw Sam go up against Makepeace, and watched Jack win a fortune from everyone when Sam beat Makepeace. Two hours later, we collapsed back in our booth, the one we'd shared since the beginning, the one that had the scratches in the table from Jack's constant fiddling with whatever was in front of him, that had a burned ring from my endless cups of coffee, that had the hook for Teal'c's hat, that had a diagram scribbled on the wall from one of Sam's explanations.
'I'm not in love So don't forget it'
That song came on. Jack leaned over to Sam, and whispered in her ear, "Our dance.". She looked up, and smiled, and they both got up, and went to the dance floor. The other dancers cleared a space for them, and got out of their way. Behind me I heard Hammond say, "It's their dance again. Another year gone, and SG1 are still alive.".
The lights were turned down, except for a spotlight on the two of them. They glanced round, realising that all the attention was on them, then they looked at each other, and forgot us. A few muffled cheers went up round the room and I heard a few glasses being clinked together.
"I don't understand." I heard Major Davis say.
"SG1 is special." Hammond replied. "They've been here since the beginning, and while they're here, then everything's okay. Those two danced together the night of the first mission, and exactly a year later. Now it's exactly two years later, and we're all here, thanks to them.".
That was one reason, but that wasn't just why we watched them lazily circle the floor in each other's arms. Every year, Sam leaned in a little closer to Jack, every year, he held her a little closer. Every year, we watched the two of them drop all defences, ignore all regulations, forget common sense, and real life, and be in love, for the space of just one song. It was special. It was a reaffirmation of everything we dreamed about, hoped for, wanted.
Sam and Jack moved slowly. Both of them had their eyes closed, and they held each other tight. Each had almost lost the other this last year, and things had come too close several times. Now they held each safe and secure, together for one brief moment.
The song faded to its impossibly sweet ending, and Sam and Jack stood there for one moment, staring at each other. Then someone yelled, "Another year, and we're all here!" and someone else cheered. The cheer was carried, and continued. Sam and Jack walked slowly back to the table through a crowd of congratulations and handshakes and general joy that they had done their dance antoher year.
"I didn't realise our tradition had become so important." Jack said, embarrassed.
"It's a sign of immortality, that you two make it here each year to dance.". I replied.
"Then I would like to propose a toast." Sam said. "Here's to Charlie Kawalsky, SG7, Henry Boyd, Charlotte Lewis, Charlie, Jonas, my mother, Sha're, and all the others who didn't make it back.".
We drank in silence. I looked up, and saw Jack whisper, "Thank you." in Sam's ear. She smiled, and I saw he still had his arm draped around her shoulder.
"Same time next year?" I asked.
"Always." they replied in unison.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Michelle Birkby
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Tradition
by Michelle BirkbySite Navigation
Support Heliopolis