Who do I choose
Who do I choose
by Michelle Birkby
TITLE: Who do I choose
AUTHOR: Michelle Birkby
EMAIL:MBIRKY@HOTMAIL.COM
CATEGORY: Response to challenge
SPOILERS: Touchstone, Bane, Seth
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY:
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: SAM AND JACK, HELIOPOLIS, PLEASE
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: THIS IS A RESPONSE TO THE CHALLENGE THAT JACK HAS TO GET RID OF ONE OF HIS TEAM.
I wandered into Hammond's office, hands in my pockets, looking insouciant (as Sam calls it). Hammond was standing with his back to me, his hands clenched behind him. This was a bad sign. Hammond's the most relaxed general I know, and something had to be very wrong to make him look so damn...military.
"Sir?" I asked. He turned around.
"Maybourne!" he snarled. For a minute I though he was calling me names, till I realised what he was talking about.
"After that whole debacle with the Touchstone," he continued, "Maybourne swore he'd pay you back for your 'insolence' as he called it. Well, now he has.".
One hour, and lots of shouting and swearing, later, I left his office.
Maybourne had apparently persuaded the President that the SG1 team used up too many valuable resources. The top SGC physicist, the most knowledgable archeologists, and the only live alien (he didn't know about Cassie) all on one team! (Notice I didn't get a mention!). One Jaffa who was a good shot, (how many of those had we met?) and we could all be wiped out at once.
Hammond had managed to talk the President into allowing SG1 to continue, but only if we dropped one team member. As CO, I got the job of choosing who had to go. Wasn't I lucky?
I wandered slowly down the corridor to the rec-room where I knew the other guys would be, wondering who would go.
My first thought was Teal'c. The guy WAS an alien. He had no family here on Earth, no ties. He could lift right out, and go home.
But he DID have ties on Earth. Me, Sam and Daniel were his family now. He had been betrayed once before, by his false gods, and put his faith in us. Imagine if I just said 'ok Teal'c time to go now, bye bye'! It would be like he was being betrayed all over again. Besides, he's built a life here on Earth. It wouldn't just be us he'd be leaving, he'd have to leave Janet, and Cassie and Ally too. Chances were that Maybourne and the vultures would descend on him for tests on him and Junior. It wasn't as if he could just join another SGC team. Pretty much every other guy on the base was scared witless by him (not the women, for some odd reason. I'd have to find out about that one day). If he joined another team, they wouldn't trust him, and he wouldn't trust them, and sooner or later he'd go back to Chu'lack, and probably get himself killed. So, it couldn't be Teal'c.
Daniel then. Daniel's original remit (another word I'd learnt from Sam) had been to sort of float around the SGC teams, advising them, going with them when necessary. He could always go back to that.
Yeah right. Who'd put up with Daniel like I did? Who else would know that you had to keep a tight watch on the guy or he'd go rushing off trying to save the downtrodden of the galaxy? Who else would put up with his allergies, or make some kind of effort to understand what he was going on about?
More seriously, the events on Abydos, and on Klorel's and Apophis ship's had forged some kind of bond between us. I wouldn't say we were brothers, but we are close. He's saved my butt more times than I care to remember, and you don't tend to thank a guy like that by saying ' we don't need you any more, go away.'. And of course, there's Sha're.
Daniel stayed with SG1 because he wanted to find Sha're, and we've helped him. It's partly because where Sha're is, Skaara might be too, and if he cures her, he could cure him too. So there's one good reason for helping him. Besides, as time's gone on, I've become aware of just how much he loves Sha're. I wasn't aware before of how much you can need someone, want someone, love someone so much they become part of your soul, your being. I do now. If Daniel were to go to another team, even lots of other teams, he'd probably have to give up the search for Sha're. Certainly no-one else would help him cure her. She'd end up dead, and sooner later, as Daniel lost hope, he'd take more and more risks, and sooner or later would die himself. Right now, I and SG1 were the only things giving him hope and keeping him alive. I couldn't turn him away.
Which brought me to Sam. Sam. Sam's the only one of us who's ever had a life outside this place. She had a dream, a career, that never involved the stargate. She could go back to that. She still has family, a brother I believe (she told me, late one night, both of us a little drunk).
There's not much holding her here. She could leave, and continue with life, and never look back. She wouldn't give up hope and die. She wouldn't be killed in a futile cause. She'd live, and flourish. It ought to be Sam.
And, as I stand in the doorway of the rec-room, watching her and Daniel laughingly try and teach Teal'c Clue, I can think of another reason.
She ought to go, because I want her to stay. I want her close to me, to be with me everyday. What I want. .. what I want is against regulations. It would ruin my career, but more importantly, it would ruin her's - and she has such a bright, promising, glorious future ahead of her. I can't take the chance that one day I would give in, and ruin that career, and our friendship.
So, I ignore the little nagging voice in the back of my head. The one that tells me that she's a good soldier, the best, someone I can and do trust my life with happily, on a daily basis. The voice that tells me she's Daniel's closest friend, probably closer than I am, and that Teal'c likes and trusts her as much as he does me. The one that tells me that a genius like her should be kept close to the project, that reminds me of the brilliant new innovations she's come up with. The voice that tells me the reason I know and understand how Daniel feels about Sha're is because I now feel like that about Sam. I ignore the lurching of my stomach as she smiles as I walk towards her, and the warmth I feel as she recognises something is wrong before I say anything, reading my mind as usual. All I can think is what I feel for her is wrong, and probably not returned, soI should get her as far away from me as possible. Perhaps Maybourne's even done me favour.
"Hey Jack," Daniel says, all smiles and glasses and enthusiasm, like a twelve-year-old. A bit like Charlie really, and how could I send Charlie away? Teal'c nods at me, almost smiling and it strikes me how relaxed and content he's become in the past year, and how could I destroy that?
"Colonel, what's wrong?" Sam asks, and it strikes me that I may never hear that voice again, nor meet anyone who can judge my moods so exactly.
I explain the situation, finishing by saying, "It won't be long. As soon as I can, I'll get Maybourne overruled.
Until then, one of you will have to go away, perhaps join another SGC team, but I'll get us all back together, I promise, and I never break a promise, you know that.".
The promise is as much for me as for them. I can't bear to break this team up, and as soon as I can, I'm going to whip Maybourne's ass and get us back together. Until then, one of us has to go. I'm about to say Sam, when Teal'c says, "I will leave. I am not of your world. It is time I went back and joined Bra'tac's fight.".
"No!." That was Daniel. "I'll go. I was never meant to stay with you guys permanently anyway. I'll just drift among the other teams. It'll give more places to look for Sha're anyway. And it's not as if I'll be leaving the base.".
"I'll go." Sam. "I could join the space program.".
I suddenly turn cold at the thought of never seeing her again. It's as if she senses it, because she suddenly says, "Or I'll stay base-bound, work with the technicians. You know I never get enough time to work on my ideas anyway. And it won't be for long, will it?".
I look around. I can't believe it. They've all offered themselves to save the others. I make my choice based more on instinct than good sense.
"It won't be for long at all, if I have my way.".
Silence. Then I continue.
"Daniel.".
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Michelle Birkby
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Who Do I Choose
by Michelle BirkbySite Navigation
Support Heliopolis