Booze and Barbeques
Booze and Barbeques
by Tanwen
Summary: When Jack agrees to host the SGC BBQ, there are a couple of unexpected guests
Category: Humor, Romance, Series
Season: future Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG
Warnings: language
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/15/03
"Okay, the beers are chilling, the fire is burning, the salad is ... salading. Everything's on schedule, great"
'Ding dong'
"ARF! ARF! GRRR! GRRR!"
"Thor get down!"
Jack grabbed the puppies collar and dragged him from the door as he opened it to see his old team. He'd agreed to take on this SGC get together after Lt Col. Manning had injured himself on a mission. It wasn't like he had anything better to do with his time. He's spent an entire month up at his cabin as soon as he was free to leave Sam's, but even that bored him after a while and he had come home (much to Thor's dismay), and now a week later he was welcoming the distraction. "Oh Jack," Sam said, going to put her coat away, "I invited the guy who's come to work at the SGC helping us calibrate the MALP sensors to pick up a new kind of..." "Sam! Guy. Work. Coming. All I need to know." She smiled that soft smile she did whenever she confused him as she carried on into the living room.
"Thanks for doing this son," said General Hammond as he arrived just after SG1. "It was so last minute no-one else could pull it off." "No problemo, sir" if he was being honest, he was glad to get the chance to talk to all those people he wouldn't keep in touch with other wise. More people were pulling up in the road; they'd obviously been following those who knew the way here. They all said their 'hellos' as they came in and he got a hug from Cassie as she came in.
"How's the back, Jack? That was a pretty nasty cut you got" the concerned doctor in Janet asked as she gave him a bottle of something alcoholic. "Ahh, it's fine. Barely notice it anymore." "Hey, Jack! Whose is the cute dog?"
"Mine. Say hello Thor"
They'd immediately got on and so she'd taken him into the garden to play, which reminded him where he really should be. Handing his 'meet-and-greet' role to Daniel he made his way into the back yard and took up his place behind the barbeque where he was quickly joined by Teal'c, complete with a silly hat.
"These are the best hot dogs I have ever tasted!" "Really? The burgers suck!"
"Give it to Thor. Poor thing, all this food and none for him" The dog in question gave a whimper to emphasise Cassie's point as her mother threw him the remains of her burger. Sam shielded her hot dog as the hungry doctor tried to grab a taste, and quickly ate what was left to prevent it falling into enemy hands. She smirked at her friend and pointed to the rapidly emptying tray where she'd get one. "Where's that Professor you invited anyway? He has a crush on you, you know Samantha"
"Really! Is he cute? Is he rich? Is he nice? How do you know he does, Mom?" "You should have seen the look on his face when she asked him. She'd just told him where it was when he couldn't hold it in anymore and broke into this massive grin"
"He does not have a crush on me! He's married anyway." "What's this I hear? You're dating a married man, Major I'm shocked" Sam cringed as she turned to see her retired CO taunting her. "No! It's just... Janet... Argh... where's Daniel?" "I'm here. What are we talking about?"
"Sam's married lover!"
"Oh for the love of..."
It was at this point she stalked off into the house with her back to the group who were descending into fits of giggles except for a fairly bemused Teal'c. She really, really did miss the Colonel, even though she talked to him more or less every week, either on the phone or in person. No-one else knew, she told herself it was so they didn't tease her but she knew why really.
"Ahh, annoying Carter, a truly satisfying past time. I only wish I could do it more often."
"Well if you came back to the SGC you could?" Janet gave him a meaningful warning glare. "I... can't, space monkey, I just can't." The group fell quiet as they all took a swig of their drinks.
"Well, why not?" Daniel asked to break the silence. "It's not like you ever... "Kisst? Sam?"
Jack walked off suddenly. Janet and Daniel frowned at each other. Cassie spat out her coke on to Thor. Thor yelped and disappeared under a table. Teal'c...raised an eyebrow.
"Hello Johnny!"
Most people in the garden turned to see a woman in her mid-forties leaning against the doorframe dressed in a long black leather jacket and jeans with a cigarette trailing from her hand. Magenta streaks ran through her long, dyed black hair and she looked in fairly good shape for a woman her age. Her voice was defiantly English, but there were traces of something else in it. Behind her was a boy dressed similarly but with much shorter bleached blond hair, and a half bottle of Jack Daniels in place of a cigarette.
'Who are they' was the question going round most peoples heads. They defiantly weren't the sort of people that they normally came into contact with. "Hey Uncle J" the boy called, he could only have been about 20 or so. Jack hugged the woman, who flicked the cigarette butt into the redundant barbeque. From behind her she pulled out a champagne bottle with a ribbon round the neck and passed it to him.
"A little thankies from me and Mick for taking the girl in the summer." "Thank you. What are you doing here anyway?" "Oh you know me Big Bruv, I go where the wind takes me, I'm a free spirit, a loose cannon, a wild..."
"Dad's got one of his 'can't talk about what I'm doing, government, hush hush' things and so we though we'd just pop in and say hi to good old uncle Jack." "Hey less of the old, Sam"
The blonde haired son known as Sam interrupted his mother's enthusiastic rant with his slow voice and then took a long drink from the bottle at his side. "What's going on here then? Ahh, I see. Booze and Barbeques. I've never quite got that. Whenever you have a barbeque you always have booze. I mean inebriated people, flames and a flammable liquid! Who did the math on that one?" "I don't know dear, probably Sam," came an older male English voice "Oh har har." the blonde boy said sarcastically slumping down on the nearest empty chair.
From inside, Jen, Samantha and the man who had just spoken walked. Jen immediately ran over to her uncle and threw her arms round him in a hello. She then jumped back and took a photo of him and everyone and everything else in her direct vicinity with her new camera that Jack had given her as a goodbye present. She'd always liked photography, especially if she could annoy people at the same time. In the Major hand was a ribboned bottle, identical to the one that had just been given to Jack.
"Hello all" the man said as he put an arm round the magenta streaked woman. "Hey Mick"
"Professor Phillips... OH! I see! You're Jen's parents aren't you?" "Know them do you, oh husband of mine?" "From my current employment, they invited me. This is Dr Janet Fraiser, Dr Daniel Jackson, Tea...Murray, Jonas Quinn and Major Samantha Carter. This is my wife, his sister, Kristina, but we all call her Kisst." Kisst swiped a beer from the table and rounded on Samantha. She knocked the top off on the edge of the table and held out her free hand to the Major. "Thanks for taking care of them... both of them I mean. Jen can be a handful but Jack... well you've known him long enough to know what I mean. At least you only had to live with him for fifteen days, I had to live with him for fifteen years!" "Thank God!"
Both of them started laughing and swapping stories about how difficult Jack was. Soon everyone was joining in, causing Jack to retreat to the house to avoid the ridicule. He sat on the stairs with an icy beer, listening to his friends laughing at him. Something furry moved under his fingers and he moved to let his grey puppy jump onto his lap.
"Hmm, at least you still like me boy."
Suddenly a flash filled the hallway. When his sight returned to him, he looked down to see Jen standing at the bottom of the stairs with her camera in hand. "Hey you two. Whatcha up ta?"
"Being talked about, you?"
"Annoying you, what does it look like? So..." she cast a quick look around to see if they were alone, but everyone was outside, then leapt up the stairs to him. "You bin talking to Sam much while I've been away?" She sat down on the step just below him, and wore a look that made half of you very suspicious but the other half want to tell her your deepest darkest secrets. Today, the second half won.
"A bit, not as much as I'd like to though" "Hmm. Well she says she misses you, and she's lonely. Not in the same conversation though, but she wants you."
"You're just... since when have you been talking to Sam?" "Since I put MSN on her computer. You really need to get the Internet, you know" "Never! I'd rather die! ...but you're just trying to get me to tell her" "And you don't...why?"
"Beca..."
"PLEASE NO MORE! THIS IS TOO MUCH!"
Kisst was crying with laughter and Professor 'Mick' Phillips was clinging to the table for support.
"I really should be offended by this. I really should" Mjr Sam moaned as she took another drink. "Is the thought of someone fancying me really that laughable?" "No Sam it isn't, it's just the thought of Mick flirting! He's terrible, he really is. When he first asked me out he completely mucked up what he was saying, fell over when he was trying to look cool, then asked me to three different places before he got to the one he meant!"
"She only went out with me because she felt sorry for me." Jack and Jen quickly gathered what was going on which caused them to laugh as well, knowing the man in question.
"Do you remember when we went to that government thing last week, and there was that woman who Dad obviously had a crush on because he kept spilling his drink and messing up his words... oh you know the one where Sam got really pissed with that big wig and broke a tea tray over his head." "Kinsey, the bastard."
"WHAT?!?"
Any member of the SGC within range immediately gave the bleached blonde a hug or a pat on the back. The story of how Kinsey had so annoyed a 20 year old English man he had only just met to make him hit him so hard with a tray that it broke would be all round the SGC tomorrow.
"How come you didn't get arrested?"
"Because I threatened to tell the press what had annoyed me so much, plus could you imagine the embarrassment for him? Being beaten up by a boy half his size with a serving utensil."
Most of the guests had left already having had their fill of barbeque and PhillipsO' Neill family stories. Only Sam, Daniel and Col. Sampson (Jack's replacement) remained behind to clean up. Daniel and Sampson were in the house while Sam was helping Jack out in the garden (Sam did not for one second think that this was by accident. Daniel was almost as persistent as Janet and Jen at trying to get her to date Jack).
"You have a very... different family"
"You could say that. It's a wonder that Kisst and Mick got together in the first place, let alone staying together for 20odd years" "Tell me! They're just so different. I can see where Jen came from though, fathers intellect, mothers..."
"Weirdness?" he helped
"Yeah, haha! She got on well with Cassie though, thought she might. The other one was a bit worrying though."
"What, Sam? He's like that sometimes. Had more mood swings than his mother, sister and you are likely to ever have put together! But he's a good kid really. They're hardly your typical O'Neills though."
"They're hardly your typical anybodies." "Hey Jack, me and Sampson are going. See you later," Danny called from the doorway, giving a subtle wink to Sam as he left. She frowned at him. "I think he's up to something Major"
"He is Sir, they all are. They're all out after you" "Sam, is there something going on I should know about?" "Ahh, it's nothing... Can you believe that Mick is working at the SGC?" "I know what are the chances. If he's that clever, why did he marry an O'Neill? Why would anyone marry an O'Neill actually? We're all screwed up" Sam looked at him as he carried on putting empty beer bottles into the trash and smiled quietly to herself.
'I can think of a reason or two'
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