Nothing as it seems
Nothing as it seems
by Steph
TITLE: Nothing as it seems
AUTHOR: Steph
EMAIL: Jazzer86@aol.com
CATEGORY: S/D, Sam POV, missing scene-- D&C
SPOILERS: Divide & Conquer
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: some language
SUMMARY: Sam's depressed, and Jack sends Daniel to find out what's wrong.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, sure, but ask me first
DISCLAIMER: I wish! I am making no money (dang!) and they're not mine... I don't think. I don't know, maybe I'll keep Sam and Daniel for a while for my own purposes ::cough, cough:: I don't know what you're talking about!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: See, this is why I don't write. See, I'm being bugged by people about my other multi-part fic, which I should be working on at the moment, and I get carried away by other ideas, and yada yada yada, and another fic pops up. Divide & Conquer bothered me for months, and I had to prove it was S/D. Not beta'd, but I think I caught everything.
FEEDBACK: Sure, might as well. It's not as if I won't get flamed anyway.
Colonel O'Neill ran through the Goa'uld force field, like we had so many times before, but it knocked me back. He didn't seem to notice for a few seconds, but as soon as he did, he came back, wondering why I wasn't with him.
"Carter?" he asked, meaning, why the hell was I sprawled out in the middle of the floor?
The armband fell off, just like it had on Daniel. Right after noticing this, I slipped into unconsciousness. I would find out later that the Colonel had tried to come back for me, but couldn't because of an antibody he was developing to the virus the armbands used.
After an undetermined amount of time, I woke up and found the Colonel unconscious on the other side of the shield. I picked up my armband, examined it, and, after tossing it by the wall, determining it useless, attempted to wake up him up.
"Whoa!" he exclaimed softly after my second try. He looked around and saw me, the look on his face reflecting his confusion. Then, remembering the armband, he glanced down to see it lying on the ship's surface.
"We should have brought more snacks," he commented lightly when he saw it.
Looking at my watch, I shot back, "I don't think that would've helped."
Watching me, he stole a look at his own watch, then said to me, "1:56."
He walked towards me. At first I thought he forgot about the shield, but he beat his fists on it, as if trying to break through.
"Sir, you've got to get out of here," I told him, not wanting him to die because of something he couldn't control. Or, I thought, I didn't want him to die for me, when he still had the chance to get away.
"So do you," he replied, still trying to find a way to get me out of there.
I walked over to the side to where he was inspecting a box of some sort. Then, taking a staff weapon-looking object, he beat on it, attempting to break down the field. After nothing happened, he tried opening it.
"Sir! Sir, there's no time!"
Just then we heard an unmistakable sound; the sound of Serpent Guards marching dowm the hall. I turned back to him, knowing we were about to die. An alarm went off. I wasn't sure if it was from the C-4 we planted or that we had been spotted, but I knew it wasn't good.
The Colonel tried beating at the shield again. Didn't he know that he couldn't save me? "Sir!" I tried, knowing in the back of my mind he wouldn't listen.
"I know! I know!" he replied. He tried beating at the controls, to no avail.
"Sir, just go." I willed him to understand that there was nothing he could do.
"No!" he shouted at me. His eyes were full of emotion. I know that he would never leave anyone behind, but did he feel something more for me? I realized then, like I had before, that I cared for him, just not in a way more than friendship. I tried to hide it, but he saw the look, and the one on his face was one of disappointment, of sadness. I heard the Serpent Guards getting closer, and them aiming their staff weapons. We exchanged a look, one of knowing what we would, what we could never have. I felt sorry, for not falling towards him, for putting him through that unrequited love, because I knew how it felt, too. And, unlike the Colonel, I would never have the chance to let him know how I felt.
"You are also not a za'tarc," Freya announced to myself and the other people in the room.
"Thank you," I said coldly, not appreciating the slight attitude she had. The Colonel came over to unstrap me from the truth-detector.
"Carter..."
"Sir, none of this has to leave this room." I may not be in love with him, but he is my friend, and a close one at that.
"We're okay with that?" he asked, making sure I was okay with it, I assumed.
"Yes, sir," I told him, confident.
"Alright, so, if they're not za'tarcs, them they're no threat to the president," Janet said as she came in.
"Oh, I have some questions for him," he said in his usual, sarcastic way.
"Every SGC personnel has been tested. Even the High Councilor and his personal guard were tested on Vorash before they came," Freya informed us.
"Hey, what about you? You ever been tested on that thing?" the Colonel asked.
"I have not been in any situations where I would be vulnerable to the Goa'uld/za'tarc technology." Her arrogance was killing me.
A thought crossed my mind. "What about Martouf?" Freya gasped, probably more at the fact that I had thought it up than anything else.
We sent a technician to inform Daniel of our predicament. The Colonel, already having a weapon, went ahead to the gate room. After grabbing some weapons to stop (and possibly kill) Martouf, we ran as fast as we could to the gate room, hoping it was not too late. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, Martouf had been shot many times, but was still standing. Teal'c shot at Martouf with his zat gun; Martouf shot one last time with his Goa'uld weapon. I came in then, shouting, "Hold your fire!"
I held my zat gun; the Colonel held his gun. The men that had previously been ducking slowly stood up, thinking that all was safe. Martouf, under za'tarc control, was trying to keep from killing himself.
"Samantha..."
I had no choice but to shoot him with my zat gun, so Freya would have her autopsy. I ran over and caught him before he fell to the ground, finally dead. I took off the Goa'uld weapon on his finger and held it in the air.
"We're all clear," the Colonel announced.
The General picked that time to come in and ask, "Is everyone okay? Per'sus?"
"Yes. Is the President all right?" Per'sus answered.
"He's okay, but I'm afraid this man isn't the President. The real President is still waiting for our signal in Air Force One. We had to be absolutely sure." Hammond explained.
"I see. May that be the last time such a deception is required by either of us."
The conversation went right through my ears. I was concentrating on Martouf, whom I had just shot. I knew it was the only thing I could have done, besides letting him shoot himself with that Goa'uld weapon, not only for Freya's sake, but for his own. I seriouly doubt that he would have wanted to kill himself, if he were in control.
Evidently, Freya saw me, bcause she said, "I promise you, his death will ultimately prove to be a noble sacrifice."
If only that were true.
It's been a few days since the za'tarc... incident. I've constantly thought about what happened, and what I could have done to stop it, and what the Colonel said. I have to admit, that's what's been on my mind the most. I feel guilty, because I've been thinking about a guy who's in love with me that I don't even care about in that sense, more than someone I killed, who also loved me. I figured I might as well be blunt, at least in my mind. If I actually said it out loud, the Colonel or Daniel would start giving a lecture about how it wasn't my fault. But that's the thing. It *was* my fault. *I* shot him. I could have let someone else take the shot, but *I* did it.
"You okay, Sam?" Daniel asked, stepping into my lab. I remembered then that I was supposed to be working on a report for SG-1's next mission to P2A-625.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," I replied, mildly distracted. I hoped he wouldn't notice, but, being Daniel, he did.
"No, you're not. Why don't you take a break, get away for a little while?"
"Because I have work to do," I answered, wondering if he'd been on another planet the last few days -- no pun intended, of course.
"Come on, Sam. You don't need to have it finished for a week. We've got plenty of downtime to use up." Hold on a minute. Stop the tape. Did he just say 'we'?
"What did you say?" I asked, and planning to kill the Colonel if he told Daniel anything. I don't think he actually knew it was Daniel, but I was sure he had his suspicions, and there was the slight problem concerning one certain doctor who just happened to be the head of the infirmary. I knew I shouldn't have told Janet anything.
"I said that you have plenty of time to finish the report." Daniel looked unusually confused for a guy who was supposed to be able to speak 23 languages.
"No, I mean after that," I clarified.
"I said that we had plenty of time to take off," he answered.
"Oh," I said, disappointed.
"But if you want to do something..." he trailed off. Did I want to do something with him? Sure. Would he want to? I didn't know. I knew that he didn't think that I thought of him like that, but did he? It was a chance worth taking. And he was the one who suggested it, wasn't he?
"Like what?" I tried not to sound too excited or eager but I think I failed miserably.
"Oh, I don't know. Take a short vacation or something, you tell me. You're the one stalking around the SGC looking like a bomb ready to go off."
"Do I, really?" Sure, I was pissed, but that was more more at myself than anything. I would've thought that he'd say something about moping, but anger I was surprised at.
"Yeah. Haven't you noticed that the halls seem to mysteriously clear when you come around? That us and Janet are the only people who come around anymore?" I appreciated his attempt at humor, but I just wasn't in the mood for it.
"No, not really," I hadn't noticed that, but I hadn't been noticing anything lately.
"See, you need to take some time off."
"Have you been hanging around the Colonel again?"
"Actually..." He paused. "He was the one who suggested I come. He's worried about you, Sam."
"Did he tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"About what really happened on the ship. How he all but admitted that he loved me, and how I had to come out and say that I didn't feel the same way. And the worst part is, I know how he feels. Him wondering all those years if something would happen between us, only for me to say, 'Sorry, you're out of luck, I'm in love with someone else.' You wouldn't understand, Daniel."
All that time he had been standing in front of me, leaning on the wall, but after I gave him the rundown on my reason -- no, my *excuse* -- for my self-imposed isolation, he knelt down before me. "No, Sam, I think I do. See, I've loved someone for years. Even before Sha're died, which made me feel even worse about it, I loved her. In fact, I think I've loved her since I met her, such a long time ago, it feels like. But I've never known how she felt. Even now, I don't know how she feels. But I always thought she was in love with someone else."
"Who is it, Daniel? Do I know her?" It was evil, I know. I guess I just needed to put a face on the person I already despised.
"You don't know?" He honestly thought I knew who the person I inexplicably hated was? If I knew, did he think I would be asking?
"No, I don't." I struggled to keep the impatience out of my voice, but it seeped in, nonetheless. Then a thought struck me. It fit everything he had told me. "It's Anise, isn't it?"
"I'm not surprised you thought that, but no."
"Janet? My God, it was Astor, wasn't it?"
"You know, Sam, for a genius, you sure are dense. It's you."
I couldn't think of anything to say. Me? Daniel's in love with *me*? "What? You thought I was in love with Jack?"
"Yeah, that's part of the reason he sent me. He was convinced that we were meant for each other. I told him he had two realities on his side, he said he just knew that you two wouldn't be together in this one."
Needless to say, I was still in denial over this. How could anyone, much less the whole SGC, think that? "Even Hammond?"
"Yeah, seeens like he's real in touch with the rumor mill. Poor guy, he's really gullible about things concerning the rumor mill."
"So, what do we do now?" I had a feeling that, even though Daniel was a civilian, the regs still applied in this case.
"I talked to Jack. He thinks that, at the very least, he can make a reccommendation to the General to allow us to stay together."
"So... he's okay with this? Us?"
"He seems like it. Are you?"
"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" What was he trying to say? That I had some feelings toward the Colonel that I wouldn't admit or didn't know about?
"I don't know. You just seem... off."
"Of course I am! I just found out that the one man who means the most to me, that I'm in love with, feels the same about me!"
Shocked, the only thing Daniel could think to say was, "You ready to take that vacation?"
"Anytime, Daniel." With that, he pulled me out of my seat, and we walked, hand in hand to Hammond's office to take our leave.
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