Life and Death
Life and Death
by Sokhar
Title: Life and Death
Author: Sokhar
E-mail: mihollister@yahoo.co.uk
Status: Complete.
Category: Challenge response, Action, Sam and Jack, m/f
Spoilers: "Stargate" (The Movie), "Children of the Gods", "The Enemy Within", "Solitudes" and "A Matter of Time".
Season/Sequel: Set sometime between "Fair Game" and "Pretence".
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: Violence, some language, sexual situations (mostly implied).
Summary: Response to Challenge #370. While on a search-and-rescue mission, SG-1 encounter the Goa'uld System Lord Thoth.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
O'Neill stepped through the gate, swinging his upper body around to scan their surroundings, his MP-5 raised and ready. The scene in front of the gate was the same as the MALP data they had received before SG-5 had gone come through to P4G-717, 60 hours earlier. The gate was situated in a forest clearing, with tall trees rising out of the ground and into the sky. The thick, bare trunks reminded Jack or redwood trees back on Earth. Through the tree canopy, they could see a clear blue sky, above a sweeping panorama of a valley floor. A wide river, shining blue in the morning light of the twin suns suspended near the horizon, flowed slowly along the bottom of the opposite hill.
O'Neill dragged his mind back to the task at hand: This wasn't an exploration mission, after all. Although he was a career soldier, he had to admit to himself that hepreferredexploration missions. They actually had some variety, there was the risk of trouble, but not the virtual certainty associated with a combat mission such as this. SG-5 had come through the gate two days before to conduct survey and mapping operations on this world, but had failed to establish radio contact after forty-eight hours as they had been ordered to do so. General Hammond had sent SG-1 through not long afterwards to locate the other team.
Hearing the familiar sound of the wormhole closing behind him, and satisfied that the area around the gate perimeter was secure, O'Neill lowered his rifle and turned to check on the other team members. The colonel rolled his eyes as he spotted Jackson off to one side, examining a stone slab next to the gate - his weapon still in the holster strapped to his leg.
"Damn it, Daniel!" O'Neill hissed to his wayward scientist. "That'snotwhat we're here for."
Jackson turned back to look at the colonel, his eyes wide and innocent. He seemed about to say something in his defence, but Jack put up a hand to gently silence him - He didn't need excuses from his friend, he just wished that Daniel could stay focused on the mission more often.
"Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c caught Jack's attention. The big Jaffa warrior was walking back from the edge of the clearing to the gate. "There are signs that a number of individuals passed through here within the previous few days. Most likely SG-5.
O'Neill nodded. "Their base camp should be along that trail," he said, pointing over Teal'c's shoulder. Let's move out, kids." Jack stood, then led the way out of the clearing. Daniel followed him, then Carter. Teal'c remained for a moment, then lowered his staff weapon and moved off after the rest of the party.
The forest was unnaturally quiet - at least, it was by Earth standards. Sam felt distinctly uncomfortable as they walked in silence along the trail, partly because it was so quiet, partly because she was concerned about the fate of the other SG team. She didn't know the three of the members that well, but their commander, Major Peter Steele, was a friend of Jack's. They had been introduced to Steele not long after he had transferred to the SGC, and had liked him straight away. His dry humour and infectious grin had made him popular very quickly with everyone at the facility. In that respect, he was very much like Jack. Steele, however, didn't try to hide behind a tough-guy military bravado as so many others did - just as O'Neill had done in the first year of the assignment.
At the front of the group, Carter saw O'Neill drop down on one knee, raising a fist to indicate that they should do the same. He signalled again, calling the others closer to him. Once Sam reached him, she noticed something glinting on the ground. The trail was strewn with brass bullet casings - lots of them. Jack picked one up and sniffed the spent shell.
"Fired fairly recently. Teal'c, take a look up ahead."
"What is it?" Daniel asked from behind, trying to look over Carter's shoulder.
"Looks like there was a fire fight here," she told him. He nodded, then crouched back down. "No sign of blood," she told O'Neill, trying to sound encouraging. He just nodded, a grim expression on his face. She could tell that Jack was worried about Steele, more so than she was. Not that he would ever actually say so.
Teal'c returned a moment later, crouching in front of Carter and O'Neill before speaking. "There is more evidence of a battle ahead. The ground and flora have been scorched, possibly a result of Staff Weapon or Zat'n'ktel fire."
"Pete and his team weren't carrying Zats," O'Neill told them, answering the silent question Carter directed at him.
"So that would mean..." Daniel started.
"Snake-Heads," O'Neill said flatly.
"There were also indications of a struggle," Teal'c continued. "It is possible that Major Steele and SG-5 were ambushed by Jaffa warriors and captured. I can find no evidence that anyone was actually killed."
"Can you track them?" Sam asked.
"I believe that I can."
Jack nodded, making a decision. "Teal'c, you're with me. We'll try and follow the trail, see where it leads. Carter, Daniel, carry on to their base camp. See if anyone made it back there. Stay in radio contact. If you do find any hostiles, don't engage. Withdraw and call for support. Move out." The team separated, Teal'c and Jack branching off the main trail into the trees.
The base camp was deserted. The four dome tents and the equipment shelter were arranged in an arc, centred on a burnt-out campfire, between the trail and a low rocky outcrop. The camp was positioned in a defensive location, even through there had been no evidence of indigenous peoples. Behind the camp, the forest floor dropped sharply away, down at least a hundred feet before levelling off again.
Carter was cautious as they approached, checking carefully for any defences which might have been installed by the team. They found none, but Sam didn't know if that was a good thing or not. If they hadn't been ready to defend that camp, they may not have been ready for an attack and had been caught off guard.
"Daniel, check out their equipment, I look in the tents."
Jackson nodded, then headed over to the open-plan shelter, covering the crates of supplies the team had brought with them. Sam let her submachine gun hang by its sling, leaving her hands free as she reached to open the first dome tent.
The first two tents contained sleeping bags, with few personal processions. The third apparently belonged to Steele, Sam noticed an empty packet of sunflower seeds tucked into the rucksack she found - something which Pete always seemed to be eating. That left the fourth tent, occupied by the one of the civilian geologists accompanying the team. One had been male, the other female, Sam figured that the young woman with the PhD would have had her own tent. There was, however, no sign of life now, or in the last few hours at least.
"Anything?"
Carter turned at the sound of Daniel's voice. He hadn't found up anything with his search - most of the supplies were still packed, along with a number of catalogued rock and soil samples. She reported the same luck.
They split up to check around the perimeter, staying within sight of one another all the time. Sam walked along the top of the cliff at the back of the camp, wary about getting close to the edge. The top soil was fairly loosely packed, and looked like it could give way easily. It had done so in one place, the ground folding in to make a shallow V of freshly-exposed earth. She caught sight of something near the base of the cliff, moving to look over the edge.
"Holy Hannah," she exclaimed quietly, then called to Daniel.
Her trousers and jacket were caked in soft mud by the time she reached the bottom of the cliff. Brushing herself off, she looked up to Daniel and waved to show that she was okay. Even from this distance, she could see the worried expression on his face: She had almost fallen off of the rope a few times on the way down. Sam chewed her lower lip for a moment before turning her attention to the ground.
The body was sprawled awkwardly on the ground, face down. Whoever it was looked to have fallen from the cliff above - a fall easily far enough to kill, bearing in mind the hard-packed clay surface of the ground beneath. The body had definitely been one of the SGC personnel. Crouching next to the prone form, Sam cautiously reached out a hand to turn the body over. She recognised the face of the geologist, her eyes were wide and staring, pupils dilated. The look on her face was one of abject terror.
Withdrawing slight, Carter turned the body back over, then moved back to the rope dangling at the cliff face. It was only then that she noticed the second body. This one was pressed up against the base of the cliff, about ten yards from where she had descended. This one was partially hidden by leaf litter and a small shrub, which would explain why it had been invisible from above. She approached this one more carefully, having detected a heavy, sickly smell hanging in the air. Again, she reached to turn the body, but recoiled with surprise, letting out a loud yelp. She frantically scrambled away from the body, turning and falling to her knees as she retched on the ground.
She had caught only a glimpse of the corpse, but it was enough. The skin on the face looked to have been torn off, leaving a dark ragged surface behind. A second injury, a long tear diagonally across the torso, had left the victim virtually gutted.
Sam heaved again, then rolled on to her back, breathing deeply. The radio mounted on her vest crackled slightly.
"Sam? Are you okay down there?" She recognised Daniel's tinny voice. "Hold on, I'm coming down."
She reached up for the radio and pressed the transmit switch. "No. I'm okay, Daniel, just had a bit of a surprise. I'm on my way back up." He acknowledged, she lay still for a moment longer. Once her breathing and rapidly beating heart had been brought back under control, she stood up and walked to the rope, careful not to look in the direction of the cadaver and cursing herself silently for reacting like that. She had seen dead bodies before - not many, admittedly - and should have been ready. She just wasn't expecting those injuries. She would have preferred to have brought the bodies back up and taken them to the stargate, or at least buried them. They didn't have time for that now - that would be for a later mission.
They had followed the unmarked trail for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only about forty minutes, without turning up anything tangible. Jack called a halt, sitting down on the projecting roots of a tree as Teal'c stood next to him, ready and alert for any signs of danger. Since they had separated from Carter and Daniel, the two men had barely said two words to one another.
"You are concerned about SG-5," Teal'c said after a moment, breaking the silence. He had noticed the tension around the colonel - O'Neill was never this quiet. Even in a fight, he could still be counted on to share his dry wit with the rest of the team. His current state was unnatural, for want of a better word. Teal'c was perceptive about the feelings of those around him, but preferred not to let on to the fact. His words were more of a statement than a question.
Jack was caught of guard: The last person he had expected to hear that from was Teal'c. Daniel was usually the one who noticed things like that, or Carter. O'Neill had noticed that Sam seemed just as worried about Steele - as the unit commanding officer, Jack had wanted to put on a strong face to reassure the others. The only problem was, he was failing.
"Yeah," was his only reply. He was silent for a while, trying to think of something else to say. "Pete and I have been friends for a long time. I just hope to God that nothing's happened to him."What are the chances of that?he thought as soon as he had finished.
"He has been in battle before?"
"Yeah, couple of times," Jack said with a slight smile. Steele and Jack had been in combat together - Iraq, Bosnia, Somalia. Iraq again. Steele was good, O'Neill reminded himself, finding new confidence that things might not turn out so bad after all.
Teal'c suddenly went rigid. O'Neill looked at him for a moment, then heard the sounds as well. Clanking metal, combined with heavy footfalls, coming from somewhere behind them. At the same instant, O'Neill and Teal'c dived behind the tree, using the distended roots for cover.
The sounds gradually approached, then O'Neill's attention was caught by movement off to his left. Three figures emerged from the trees in a line, marching in perfect step. They were tall and muscled, wearing a mix of white cloth and dull silver metal. Staff weapons were held vertically at their sides, their helmets - jackal-heads with eyes which glowed with a dull blue light - were fixed forward.
Anubis Guards. Jack remembered his run-in with them on Abydos only too well. The four scars on his back, courtesy of Ra's First Prime, were still visible.
Only once the three soldiers had passed did Jack realise how tightly he was gripping his gun, knuckles pale against the black weapon. He loosened the grip, then turned slightly to look at Teal'c.
"You know those guys?" he asked quietly.
"I do not," the Jaffa returned simply. "I have heard of these warriors once before. In Jaffa culture, they guard religious sites and certain System Lords."
"This wouldn't be more of that 'Family of Ra' stuff, would it?" O'Neill inquired.
"No. I would suggest that we follow them," Teal'c said, motioning after the receding Jaffa with his staff.
Jack nodded, then the two men moved off. They followed the three figures more by sound, staying far enough back to be obscured by the foliage and tree trucks. The Anubis Guards seemed to be making no effort to mask their presence. But, as Jack noted, they did tend to stand out in a crowd.
Five minutes later, Jack and Teal'c were forced to dive into cover again as the Anubis Guards they had been following were met by two more. The five Jaffa conferred for a second in a rasping tongue, then moved off again. O'Neill was about to follow, when Teal'c tapped his shoulder and pointed through the trees. There was more movement about twenty metres away, obscured from view in their present location. O'Neill nodded, then led the way in that direction.
They found themselves on the edge of another clearing, larger than the one containing the stargate. The two men had managed to work their way around the edge, staying in the cover of the trees, stopping on a slight incline along one side. From where they lay, it was possible to observe the area below them without actually being spotted until someone came much closer to them. As it was, about ten yards of dead ground between themselves and the enemy camp.
Three Anubis Guards stood in a line, their backs to O'Neill and Teal'c, Staff Weapons held at their sides. Beyond them, a round pavilion stood slightly off-centre, the entrance flanked by another pair of guards. The thing which caught Jack's attention, however, was a strange metal frame on the far side. It was constructed from a series of metal tubes, forming an upright perimeter - like soccer goal posts - over the top of a trench. Four pairs of metal cables, apparently made from the same metal material, hung through pulleys and down into the hole, all of them flexing slightly in the still air.
"Teal'c, any idea what that thing is?"
Teal'c looked at the frame where Jack pointed, then shook his head slowly. "I have not."
Just then, an Anubis Guard appeared from the pavilion. This one was similar to the others, but parts of his armour were gold rather than dull silver.
"Jaffa,kree!" he rasped, causing the others to come to attention.
"That is the First Prime," Teal'c said quietly, leaning closer to O'Neill.
"Whose?"
The entrance to the tent opened again, revealing another figure in armour. This one was all gold, far more ornate than the others, topped with the head of a bird with a long, thin beak. This had to be the Goa'uld, Jack thought, from the way the Jaffa bowed in his presence.
"You knowthisguy?"
"I do not," Teal'c replied simply.
The Goa'uld crossed the camp, the First Prime and two guards in tow, towards the metal frame. With an unspoken command, one of the Anubis Guards touched a control on the metal, and the cables were reeled in on the pulleys.
Drawn up out of the trench by the arms, coughing and dripping with muddy water, were four members of SG-5. O'Neill recognised Pete Steele immediately, and Mike Durant, his second in command, hanging next to him.
Jack tapped Teal'c on the shoulder, then backed away from the edge of the clearing.
It took a little bit of radio communication for the whole team to meet up again: They did so about half way between the point where they had separated and the Goa'uld encampment. O'Neill quickly explained what he and Teal'c had seen.
Daniel frowned deep in thought. "Sounds like Thoth, the Egyptian god of Wisdom. He was said to have invented science and astronomy. Later, during..."
"All very interesting, Daniel," O'Neill snapped with some irritation. "But that isnotvery relevant to our current situation. I'll pencil a date in my diary for you to continue this lecture, probably some point after I die."
Daniel was silent as O'Neill glared at him, but, to his credit, didn't say anything else. He knew that Jack could be very short-tempered, especially when worried.
"Okay, here's the plan," O'Neill went on. "Teal'c and I will start firing from this side of the camp to try and draw the troops away. If it works, Carter, you and Daniel grab our guys and run. We'll meet back at the Stargate. Maintain radio silence until we start the attack, but stay in touch after so that each of us know where the other lot are. Okay?"
The other three nodded, although Daniel seemed a little apprehensive. Jack ignored this, leading his team off into the forest.
They went to the near edge of the clearing before they separated, Carter and Daniel moving off to the left, leaving O'Neill and Teal'c to take up their positions. The two men moved further apart, trying to force the Jaffa to widen their field of fire, and to give themselves more space to manoeuvre. The downside was that they would be unable to actually see each other. Dismissing the nagging doubts from his mind, O'Neill prepared to fire the first shot, as agreed between himself and Teal'c.
Jack suddenly heard the familiar sound of crackling energy as a Staff Weapon was activated, just behind his right ear. At first he thought it was Teal'c, then realised that the Jaffa was crouching off to his left. He groaned inwardly, even before he heard the barked instruction.
"Kree'ta!"
Jack turned slightly, and saw an Anubis Guard standing behind him, Staff Weapon levelled at his head. Orange sparks of energy played over the end of the weapon, contrasting with the malicious blue glow of the jackal eyes in the helmet.
Oh, crap.Jack cursed to himself.
"Kree'ta!" The Anubis Guard repeated the instruction, jerking the weapon upwards slightly. Jack stood slowly, turning fully to face the Jaffa, holding the MP-5 by the barrel in his left hand.
"Hi, howya doin'?" O'Neill asked cheerfully. The helmet tilted slightly, as if the Jaffa was considering his prisoner. Jack took the opportunity, throwing himself to one side and rolling back up into a crouch, simultaneously dropping the submachine gun and drawing his Zat gun from the thigh holster he wore. The Guard was surprised by the flash of movement, swinging slowly to line up his target again. Jack fired once, the soldier jerking back as the blast of blue energy hit him. Convulsing as the lightening wrapped around his body, he was hit by an orange bolt which flew over Jack's head. The Jaffa toppled over, as Teal'c appeared at O'Neill's side, Staff Weapon in hand.
The gunfire couldn't fail to draw attention to the Earth soldiers. Almost immediately, more Jaffa were running across the clearing towards O'Neill and Teal'c. Jack ducked, grabbing for his MP-5, as the first energy bolt lanced passed him. Teal'c returned fire, hitting one of the Jaffa squarely in the chest. The warrior was lifted off the ground by the blast, his legs flailing uselessly in the air for an instant before he came down heavily and lay still.
O'Neill flicked the fire selector on his weapon from 'safe' to 'burst', then started firing, letting three rounds go every time he squeezed the trigger. The first magazine was soon empty, forcing him to switch magazines. By that time, seven Jaffa were dead or dying on the ground.
Jack's gun jammed. He shouted to Teal'c, then pulled back on the bolt to clear the weapon. He fired, but the MP-5 jammed for a second time. Swearing loudly, Jack tried the bolt again. This time when his head came back up, he was struck in the face by the end of a staff. Caught off balance by the force of the blow, Jack went down, dropping his gun. The Jaffa who stood over him brought the staff back down to fire, but O'Neill grabbed the end and kicked the man's legs out from under him. Spinning the long weapon around in his hands, Jack fired once at almost point-blank range.
There was a shout from one of the Anubis Guards. Jack swung around at the sound of gun and Staff Weapon fire to see a number of Jaffa shooting at the survivors of SG-5. One of the soldiers was caught in the open and was struck by an energy bolt, Jack recognised Major Steele run to his team-mate to provide covering fire as Daniel pulled the wounded man towards the cover of a rocky outcrop.
"Teal'c! Let's move!" Jack yelled. A Jaffa appeared to his left carrying a short sword of some kind, O'Neill turned and shot him through the stomach, before running out into the clearing with Teal'c following close behind.
Carter heard the distinctive sound of a Zat discharge from the other side of the clearing, followed by a Staff Weapon blast. The Anubis Guards reacted to the fire and, at Thoth's command, raced towards the source. Bolts of energy, she guessed that they must be from Teal'c, came out of the trees, followed by machine gun fire. Once sure that the distraction was working, she led Daniel out of cover towards the four prisoners.
Major Steele was suspended on the far right of the frame as Carter approached. He heard the movement, jerking his head around to look, his face breaking into a lop-sided grin as he recognised her.
"Sam!" he exclaimed in surprise.
"Hey, Pete," she returned, examining the cables that attached the manacles to the horizontal bar. The material seemed pretty solid, so she reached into her rucksack and pulled out a pair of bolt cutters. "Just hang in there, Pete," she said, motioning for Daniel to help her.
"Very damn funny. You've been around Jack too much," Steele told her with mock seriousness.
Sam smiled, then cut through the two cables while Daniel supported the Major's body. The young archaeologist lowered Steele to the ground, then Sam passed her Zat gun to him. They worked along the line, once the other two Airmen and the geologist were free, they started to move back to the cover of the forest.
A shout from one of the Anubis Guards made Carter pause and turn back. Thoth stood in the centre of clearing looking back at them. His eyes flashed white before he angrily shouted a series of instructions to his soldiers. A number of Jaffa turned away from firing at Jack and Teal'c at Thoth's command, then spotted their former prisoners and the two SG-1 members retreating into the trees.
The first shot came close enough for Sam to feel the heat on her face. She dropped to one knee and fired back, as a second blast struck Lieutenant Durant in the back. Pete yelled out, then ran to the fallen man, Daniel close behind him. Steele fired the Zat as Jackson took hold of Durant's jacket and pulled the writhing officer towards a rock outcrop. Steele turned to follow, only to find his route blocked by the imposing figure of Thoth.
Steele raised his gun to fire, but was struck by the full force of the Goa'uld's ribbon device and was knocked down. His own weapon spun out of his grip and landed a short distance away. The Major lunged for the Zat, but was grabbed from behind by Thoth and pulled back, then up on to his knees. The System Lord's helmet folded away, his eyes locking with the other man's as the ribbon device glowed again, brightly above Steele's head.
Jack wasn't far away when Thoth appeared behind Steele and grabbed the Major. Pete started to scream as the incandescent distortion from the ribbon device lit his face. O'Neill tried to get a clear shot at the Goa'uld, but Steele was blocking the line. The Colonel was about to run and tackle Thoth away from his friend, when he noticed the Jaffa Teal'c had identified as Thoth's First Prime raise his weapon. Following the line, O'Neill saw Major Carter. Her back was to the Anubis Guard as she fired across the camp.
Jack froze. His mind was racing as time seemed to slow down to a crawl. He turned first to Pete, crying under the assault from Thoth as the Goa'uld stared down malevolently, savouring the agony he was causing. O'Neill tore his eyes away from his friend to look at the First Prime, his weapon now charged. A sadistic smile played on his mouth as he prepared to shoot Sam in the back.
Forcing the voices in his mind into silence, Jack made a snap decision and started to run. He heard the Staff Weapon fire above Pete's strangled shouts as he propelled himself off the ground.
The bolt of energy struck him in the chest. His body was pumped so full of adrenaline that at first he didn't feel anything, but then the pain hit him like a burning wall of fire. He heard someone screaming in the distance, then realised that it was him. At that moment, he hit the ground hard, rolling on his shoulder to end up face down on the forest floor. He struggled to draw breath, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. His head swam as he curled into a foetal position, but he didn't loose consciousness.
Carter heard a scream just behind her and turned. She saw Thoth release Steele, the Major's body falling limply to the ground at the System Lord's feet. A short distance away, she saw the First Prime fall back under the impact of bullets, and Jackson firing his pistol from cover at the Jaffa. Daniel shouted something to her, but over the sounds of battle, she didn't catch what he said. He turned his gun around and fired on Thoth, but the rounds bounced harmlessly off the glowing yellow shield which appeared around the Goa'uld.
Thoth shouted more commands, then turned away and walked into the trees, his helmet folding back around his head. The few remaining Anubis Guards started to back away, facing the humans to cover their master's withdraw. Carter shouted for the others to let them go. She knew they had to get out of here themselves.
Daniel was running towards her, yelling and pointing. She stood up, still not understanding what the man meant. When she turned to look where Daniel indicated, she gasped.
They both reached O'Neill at the same moment. He was laying on his side facing away from Sam, so she took hold of his shoulders and rolled him onto his back. His face was grey and clammy, his eyes open, the pupils wide and fixed. He moaned at Sam's touch, his hands clutching at the wound on his chest. The injury was a deep red, the material of his jacket and shirt melted onto the skin. She pulled his hands away, letting him grab onto her arms instead, as Mike Durant ran over to them. He had a bandage wrapped around his shoulder, covering his own wound, which appeared superficial. He was SG-5s medic, and immediately set to work on O'Neill.
Jack moaned as Durant probed the injury, Sam felt him pulling on her arms, trying to get her attention. When she looked down, he was trying to speak between ragged breaths. She moved to bring her head closer to his, trying to hear him.
"Hurts...God, Sam...Hurts so much..." His words were barely more than a whisper. They were cut off by a fit of coughing, a trickle of blood ran down his jaw, leaving a thin trail of crimson.
"It's okay, Colonel, hold on. Please,hold on." O'Neill's eyes were wide and fixed. "Damnit, Lieutenant!" she snapped at Durant. "What's taking so long?"
"We've got to get him back through the stargate," Durant said, tearing the sterile wrapping from a field dressing and applying the pack to O'Neill's chest.
"What about Major Steele?" Daniel asked. Durant just shook his head slowly.
"I shall carry Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c said, appearing behind them.
Sam nodded, turning to see the other airman lifting Pete's body on to his shoulders. Carter stood up. "Okay, let's move!"
Teal'c slung his staff weapon across his back, then knelt down. With Daniel's help, he carefully took the Colonel in his arms and stood up. The group headed out of the clearing at a fast pace, knowing that they had to get O'Neill back to Earth as quickly as possible.
Sam felt totally helpless as they trekked back to the gate. The fast pace hadn't lasted long because O'Neill was being jarred around to much. The motioned was pulling on the field dressing and his injury, causing considerable pain. He was barely conscious for the whole trip, groaning and mumbling incoherently. Sam stayed alongside Teal'c the whole way, talking quietly to the Colonel, doing her best to reassure him. She would touch his face every so often, to show him that she was still there.
It took them nearly an hour to reach the gate, the artefact offered some relief to Sam. By this time, she was doing her best not to cry, but the occasional tear still rolled down her cheek. She wasn't making much effort to conceal her emotions, but only Daniel and Teal'c were close enough to notice.
Daniel dialled the gate and sent the signal through, then waved the others up to the portal. Durant and the rest of SG-5 went through first, followed by Daniel. The last thing Sam did before crossing the event horizon was to glancing sideways at the Colonel, cradled in Teal'c's grasp.
"Medic! We need a medical team down here,now!"
Sam heard Daniel bellowing as she stepped out on to the metal ramp. She was disorientated from the journey through the wormhole and the siren blaring over the PA network. Seconds later, the heavy blast doors to the gate room were sliding open to admit the base medical staff. Sam saw Janet running up the ramp towards them, and turned to O'Neill. The Colonel was shaking badly, the shock of the gate trip aggravated by loss of blood.
"What the hell happened?" Frasier demanded as she reached them.
"Jack took a Staff Weapon shot," Daniel told her quickly. "Major Steele's dead."
"Get a gurney up here!" Janet ordered. Teal'c carefully laid his charge onto the trolley at the bottom of the ramp, then followed the orderlies out the door. SG-5 headed after them, Daniel went to leave as well.
Sam just stood on the ramp while all this was happening around her, sinking deeper into the feelings of confusion and frustration that threatened to overwhelm her. She took an unsteady step, then sat down heavily on the steps, dropping her weapon and helmet. Her hands were stained with blood from where she had helped Jack, she frantically tried to clean them on her fatigues, but with little success. Daniel was at her side in an instant.
"Sam?" he asked softly.
"I'm all right, Daniel," she told him, unconvincingly.
"Doesn't look like it."
"I'm...Sorry. It's just that...It was a shock to see the Colonel like that."
"Yeah," he nodded. He was silent for a moment, thinking about what to say next, or whether heshouldsay anything. "That Jaffa was aiming for you."
Her head jerked up, looking at him. He could see the confusion in her eyes, as if she didn't understand what she was saying.
"I was watching after I'd dragged Lieutenant Durant behind the rocks. Thoth was using the ribbon device on Pete, Jack tried to shoot, but they were too close together." He went on to tell her what had happened in the few seconds following.
"He took that shot for you, Sam."
Her blue eyes still stared at him, he looked back trying to read her thoughts. She seemed about to say something, but then dropped her head into her hands and started to sob.
Daniel pulled her into a tight embrace, whispering to her quietly. Daniel knew that Jack would have done the same for anyone, but not when faced with that choice. He had left Pete to die so that he could help Sam.
He knew Jack well, probably better than any of them. He remembered their conversation after he had been brought back from Abydos.Me? I'll never forgive myself.Daniel knew that Jack wouldn't for this either: If he survived, he was going to need some serious support to get through this. Teal'c and himself could only go so far.
"Sam, we need to go for the post-mission examination," he told her gently. She nodded, her head moving slightly against his shoulder. Daniel stood, then helped Sam to her feet and led her out.
He looked up as they came off the ramp, seeing General Hammond stood in the control room window. He nodded, Daniel returned the gesture.
After the physical exam, Sam had cleaned up in the locker room with help from Daniel, then had insisted on returning to the medical bay. They had been intercepteden routeby Hammond, asking them to come up for debriefing. They had agreed, after the General had promised to keep things as short as possible. Throughout the session, Daniel could see that Sam was distracted. She was unsettled, and unnaturally quiet.
Sam wasn't aware that she was being so obvious, doing her best to pay attention to the questions being fired at them. She missed a good number of them, and had to be prompted to answer. All the time, her mind was running in overdrive, trying to make sense of the feelings and thoughts she was experiencing. Most of them about Colonel O'Neill.
After what seemed like an age, Hammond dismissed them. Sam, with Daniel and Teal'c close behind, hurried down to the infirmary.
"Things were a bit touch and go for a while. He lost a lot of blood and was going into shock after coming through the gate," Frasier told them in her office. "We managed to stabilise him eventually, but he's still unconscious. I'd expected him to be like this for a while."
"But he's going to be okay?" Sam asked hopefully.
"I can't say that for sure." It pained Janet to have to tell her friend this. "Sometimes, in cases like this, the patients don't wake up at all. However, Colonel O'Neill has been through this before and has made it, so let's just hope for the best, okay?"
"Can we go in and see him?" Daniel asked.
"I don't think that'll be a good idea at the moment," Janet said. "He's still a bit of a mess, and I've got him hooked up to a lot of equipment. Let's leave it for the moment, maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, I suggest that you go and get some rest."
Daniel agreed, then looked to Sam. She nodded slowly, then allowed the archaeologist to led her out.
Once back in her own quarters, her emotions began to get the better of her again. Although she was physically and mentally exhausted, she couldn't sleep. Instead, she sat down in a corner, her back to the wall, and stared at the darkness.
Why did he do that?she asked herself.It should be me laying there.
She started to cry, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging herself. Some of the things she was feeling were not normal for her, and they scared her. It wasn't the first time she had felt them. She had been attracted to him ever since she had met him two years before, but up until now she had been able to control the emotions. There was nothing abnormal about the feelings, after all, he was handsome, had a great sense of humour. There relationship had remained on a fairly professional level at first, but when working closely with someone for so long, they became friends. The whole team had. They spent a lot of time together when on leave, which again, was not unnatural. He showed concern for the whole team, but it was his place to do so as commanding officer. It was just...He showed more concern for them than most commanders would. They were more than a team, almost a family.
She had been in love before, or thought she had, but this was different. She wasn't happy unless he was with her. When he was away, there always seemed to be something missing.
Much as she tried to think otherwise, she had to admit to herself that if Jack died, then she wouldn't be able to carry on. He had been injured saving her life, and she would gladly trade places with him. If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was. She might have missed her chance to tell him how she felt.
She didn't know how long she had been sitting in the dark before she heard the quiet knocking. She looked up as the door was opened slightly, Daniel leaned in, his head silhouetted in the light from the corridor outside.
"Can I come in for a minute?" he asked.
"Yeah, go ahead," she replied.
He closed the door behind himself, then came and sat on the floor in front of her. "How're you doing?" He could see that she had been crying.
"I don't know any more," she replied honestly.
"Jack will be all right," Daniel assured her. "I've known him for a while, and he's taken a few bad blows. He always bounces back again."
"I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't."
Daniel was surprised. "Why are you telling me?"
"I need to talk to someone. You're the closest thing to family around here, so..." She let the sentence hang with a weak smile. "Why did he have to do that, Daniel?" she blurted out. "I should be the one in there now, not him."
She started to cry again, Daniel slipped his arm around her. "It's okay, Sam." He listened to her for a while, wondering what he should do. "Do you love him?"
"Yes," she told him quietly between sobs. She lifted her head from his shoulder, wiping her eyes. "Is it that obvious?"
"Yeah, 'fraid so."
Janet stood over the unconscious O'Neill, his chart in her hand. By the time they had got him to the infirmary, his heart had stopped. They had managed to revive him, but he had lost so much blood that, professionally, she doubted that he would make it. Personally, she didn't want to give up on him. Their efforts had been rewarded.
Now he lay in the hospital bed, his torso heavily bandaged to protect the exposed injury and the burning surrounding the wound. The skin on his chest was black and charred from the heat of the blast. When the bandages finally came off, he would probably need a skin graft to restore the area, but for the moment, he was alive. His face was covered by a transparent oxygen mask, the heart monitor was beeping softly in the background, but he was alive.
"Janet?"
She turned at the sound of Daniel's voice. The young archaeologist was standing in the doorway, at the edge of the dim light being cast from the lamp next to the Colonel's bed.
"How is he?"
"Resting comfortably," she grimaced inwardly at her use of the medical clich. "Which is more than can be said foryou. I seem to remember telling you to get some sleep."
He smiled weakly, his face drawn. "I will, I promise. I need to talk to you for a minute. It's about Sam."
Janet nodded: She had a fair idea what this would be about. "Go on into my office, I'll be with you in a second."
Another day passed before Dr Frasier allowed the rest of SG-1 in to see Colonel O'Neill. She didn't feel that it was necessary to tell them, but he had woken up briefly during the night. He had been incoherent and obviously in pain, so Janet had sedated him again. She hoped that with more rest, the next time he woke up he would be in a better state.
Sam had come to the infirmary the morning after Daniel's little talk. When Janet had refused to allow her in, they had argued. Sam was distressed, Janet could tell, so the doctor let it slide: Sam needed support from her friends as well.
She had seen the look of concern in her friend's eyes as soon as Daniel had taken her in to the Colonel. Now she sat in silence at his side, looking at him as he slept. Daniel had stayed with her, but had kept his distance. Teal'c had been in and out, having been called away to deal with something else, but now was back, General Hammond with him. Janet had just filled the base commander in on her patient's status.
"Good work, Doctor," he told her. He moved closer to Jackson and Teal'c, then asked: "How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine. Could do with a break," Daniel said.
"I too am well."
Hammond nodded to Teal'c, then cast a look at Sam. She seemed as comatose as O'Neill, he noted. "I think that it's time SG-1 took some leave," he said, looking to Frasier for agreement. "You were due to go on downtime for the next few days anyway, so I'm going to extend that to a week. For this one, you've earned it. If you'll excuse me, I've got some paperwork to attend to." Hammond nodded, then left the infirmary.
They were silent for a while afterwards, the only sounds coming from the heart monitor. Janet stepped forward, laying a hand gently on Sam's shoulder. She jumped at the contact, turning slightly to look back at her friends.
"Sam, why don't you go and get some rest," Frasier suggested
"I'll stay with him, Sam," Daniel joined in. "I promise that I'll come and get you if there's any change."
Their only response was a slightly shake of her head.
Teal'c took a step forward. "Major Carter, there is an old saying amongst my people: 'If a man has not found anything worth dying for, he is not fit to live'."
"Martin Luther King said that, Teal'c," Daniel corrected him.
"Who is Martin Luther King?" he inquired.
"Come with me, Teal'c," Janet said, glancing at Jackson. "I'll tell you about him." She led the Jaffa towards her office.
Daniel watched them leave, then turned back to Sam as if he wasn't sure what to do. "I'll, er, just...Go," he stammered, pointing back over his shoulder, unable to find a better excuse.
Alone in the room now, Sam turned back to the sleeping Colonel. He looked different when he slept: His face was still haggard, the handsome features marred by numerous scars and imperfections acquired over a lifetime. The frown which always sat on his brow was gone, as far as she knew, for the first time. She ran her hand lightly over his cheek, then traced a deep scar that ran down the side of his face.
She was thinking about what Teal'c had said: Jack had found something worth dying for. He must have known the risk when he threw himself between her and the Anubis Guard. He'd made a choice between her and Pete Steele, and had let his friend die to help her. Leaning down, she brushed her lips across his forehead, whispering in his ear.
"Come back to me, Jack. I need you, please come back."
"Sam..." he mumbled quietly, his eyelids moving slightly.
Her heart leapt. She was about to call Janet when she realised that he was still asleep. He must just have been dreaming. She felt a mixture of disappointment and hope as she sat down again, intended to stay with him for as long as necessary.
"Sam? Sam, wake up." The voice sounded distant, she thought, rising from her half-sleep and opening her eyes. She still felt totally exhausted, her muscles tight from sitting in one position for so long and laying in an uncomfortable position. Her head had been resting on her crossed arms, themselves on the edge of the Colonel's bed. She turned slightly to look at Daniel, who was crouching beside her, then back to the unconscious O'Neill. She found herself instead looking into his deep brown eyes.
"Hey, Carter," he said quietly.
She was lost for words for a moment, suppressing feelings of joy and the urge to hug him. "Sir, how are you feeling?"Good one, Sam, she kicked herself inwardly.
"Everything hurts." His face broke into a weak grin. "Other than that, just swell. You?"
"I'm fine, Sir," she returned. "How...Er...How long have you been awake?" The question sounded pathetic to her ears.
"Longer that you," he shot back, with a slightly stronger smile.
The relief she felt was wonderful, inexpressible. She grinned at him, laying her hand on his shoulder. Her heart pounded at the contact.
Sam hardly left the infirmary over the next few days. At first, she would just sit and tell Jack what was happening, and he would lay back and listen. As he grew stronger, he started to join in more. It seemed strange to Sam, they had been working together for over two years, but she learned more about him in this time that she had known previously. It was almost as if he had become more relaxed around her, although that was probably just wishful thinking. Even so, she felt a growing sense of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, he felt the same way about her as she did about him.
In the same period, things actually got worse for Doctor Frasier and the medical staff. Much to Sam's amusement, although she would never laugh openly, Jack would complain about being stuck in the infirmary with growing vigour. Janet was rapidly becoming exasperated with his whining.
"I do not whine," he insisted when she finally confronted him. "I complain loudly." His voice changed as he appealed to Janet. "Come on, let me out of here, Doc. I'm going stir-crazy in here."
"Believe me, Colonel," Janet told him with a wry smile, "you're not the only one."
After more insistence, Frasier agreed, somewhat begrudgingly, to release Jack - but on the condition that he went home and rested for the remainder of the downtime. Daniel said that he would keep an eye on Jack, as did Teal'c. Sam welcomed the opportunity to get off the base, since they had come back from P4G-717 nearly a week before, she had been able to get no more than a few hours sleep. At first, she put the unrest down to concern for Jack, but since he had woken up, she found that she still couldn't settle. That was one reason why she had been spending so much time in the infirmary with him. She couldn't explain it, but being with him made her feel safe.
They left the base later that evening. The dusk air was bitterly cold as the four team-mates ran from the tunnel entrance to the small collection of vehicles parked just inside the perimeter. Colonel was helped into the passenger seat of his Cherokee by Teal'c, as Daniel slipped in behind the wheel. Janet had ordered O'Neill not to drive, another condition of his being released early. Sam started up her own vehicle, following the four-by-four out of the main gate. They pulled up outside Jack's house just as the first flakes of snow were beginning to fall.
They took Jack inside and made sure that he was all right, then Daniel said he wanted to get back to his own apartment before the snow got too heavy. Jack told him to take his vehicle, the archaeologist agreed, and he and Teal'c left. Sam was about to go as well, but O'Neill stopped her.
"Sure you've got to leave, Carter?"
"I should. If the snow's going to get heavy..." The reluctance she felt showed in her voice.
"Come on, you can stay here tonight if necessary. Stay for some hot chocolate? What do you say?" He smiled hopefully at her, his brown eyes soft in the dim lights.
How could she say no? "Okay, Sir," she replied with a laugh.
He started a fire in the hearth, the flames casting a flickering glow on the them and the room as they talked. Jack had brought two big mugs of cocoa, and - much to Sam's amusement - had even found a bag of marshmallows. Sam had told him that she felt a little cold, he had responded by heading into his bedroom, coming back with a soft blanket. Now Sam was wrapped up on the couch, Jack sat on the floor at her feet.
They talked for what seemed like a long time. They shared jokes, laughing together. Jack kept sneaking glances in Sam's direction whenever he thought that she wasn't looking. Her loved her laugh, and her eyes: Crystal blue, so full of life.
After a while, Jack noticed silence descend on the room. He cast one more look towards Sam, finding that she had fallen asleep, her head resting on the arm of the couch. He smiled, noticing how innocent and youthful she looked. She had seemed totally exhausted over the passed few days.
He stood up quietly, trying to make as little sound as possible as he retrieved the two mugs and took them into the kitchen. He got a spare pillow from his closet, carefully lifting her head and slipping the soft pad under her head. She stirred slightly at his touch, but instead of waking just mumbled something, sighed and settled down again. He stood looking down at her for a moment, then doused the fire and headed for his own bed.
When Sam woke some time later, the living room was dark. The fire had burned down to little more than a few glowing embers, no light came from the windows. She was still sleepy, but she felt considerably better than she had in a while. She had actually been able to settled down and sleep properly, overcoming the extreme fatigue she had felt.
For a few moments, she couldn't remember where she was, but then it came back to her. She was on Jack's couch, wrapped up warmly in a blanket. She smiled, then rolled over slightly with the intention of going back to sleep. She stopped, suddenly aware of the presence in the room. She lifted her head, straining to see in the darkness, picking out the figure sitting against the wall in the far corner.
"Colonel?" she asked sleepily.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" was his response.
Fully alert now, she stood up. The cold air slipped around her, causing her to shiver involuntarily. She pulled the blanket around herself, then crossed the floor to sit next to him. Her vision had adjusted to the light level, and she could now make out the details of his face. His face was gaunt, his eyes red from exhaustion. He held an empty glass in his lap, Sam was now close enough to detect the scent of alcohol.
"Are you all right, Sir?" she asked him softly.
"I couldn't sleep."
"Is there anything I can do?"
He shook his head slightly, reaching away to put the glass down on the floor. They didn't speak for the next few minutes.
"I haven't been able to get much sleep the last few nights," Sam confided in him, breaking the silence. "Every time I tried, I started thinking about Major Steele," she shuddered slightly, even as she mentioned the name.
He still didn't say anything. She watched him, concern growing in her. Janet and Daniel had warned her about this, even though she knew that Jack sometimes reacted like this to the death of a fellow soldier. She remembered when Henry Boyd and SG-10 had been killed, along with Frank Cromwell. Worse still, the times when a friend had been killed. She thought of Kawalsky, and of Skaara. This time, however, he had been forced to make a conscious choice between two people he cared about, knowing that one would live and the other would die.
"Colonel," she began, "I..."
"I've known Pete since he joined the Air Force, back before Desert Storm." O'Neill interrupted her, almost as if he was unaware that she had spoken. "He was on my Special Tactics team. After that, we were together out in Somalia, then in the Balkans during Deliberate Force. We went through all of that, only for him to die on some God-Forsaken planet a million miles from home." He lowered his head.
"Pete knew the risks, Sir. We all do."
"I was responsible for him, and I let him down. I keep asking myself if there was something else I could have done."
"Daniel told me what happened," she said quietly, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I know that you had to make a choice out there. I haven't had to do that, but I know that it can't have been easy." She paused, then "thank you, Sir."
"I would have done the same for anyone else."Or would you have helped Pete first?He closed his eyes, but the darkness brought with it an image of Steele being tortured to death by Thoth. Guilt hit him again, but he felt an odd comfort in what Sam had said - He took comfort from her being with him.
"I've lost a lot of people under my command. Too many." He was surprised that he had said that, especially to Carter. He had never really been able to talk to anyone as a friend, but with Sam...He felt comfortable, almost like he couldn't keep anything from her if he tried. He turned his head, looking into her blue eyes. They seemed so full of sympathy, compassion. Love. He turned away quickly, as if scared that he would admit his own feelings for her.
"Does it ever get easier?" Sam asked, distantly.
"No. If anything, the more it happens, the harder it gets. Every time that I lose someone, I promise myself that they will be the last, that I'll do anything - even die - to prevent it happening again. When it does, and there's not a damn thing that you could have done to prevent it, it hits you twice as hard."
She looked at him. He had lost so much, so many people. She wondered how on earth he had the strength to carry on. That was what she loved about him the most: Even in the face of disaster, he wouldn't give in.
She left early the next morning, leaving a note for the still-sleeping Jack. She had been able to persuade him to go back to his room, and wasn't surprised to find that he wasn't awake yet. She stopped at a payphone, placing two calls. The first to Janet, letting her friend know that she was coming over. The second was to Daniel, asking him to meet her at Janet's. That done, she went into a diner to grab a cup of coffee.
When she arrived, Daniel was already there, coffee in hand. They sat in the lounge, Janet and Daniel wanting to know why Sam had called this meeting.
"Jack is feeling depressed. I found him sat in the dark at about two this morning, drinking," Sam told them.
"That isn't unusual for Jack," Daniel said. "That's how he deals with things."
"Does he seem depressed?" Janet asked.
"Not so much depressed, rather...I don't know. I can't describe it, but it's not just depression, it's more than that. He seems confused."
"Sounds like he's in love," Daniel said quietly, looking at Sam and raising an eyebrow.
"What brings you to that conclusion?" Janet sniped at him.
"I can tell. Trust me," came the reply.
"I want to do something special for him, to try and cheer him up," Sam interjected. "I want to try and thank him properly for what he did. I hope it'll make him feel better."
"What did you have in mind?" Janet inquired.
"Not sure yet. Something simple, like go out to dinner."
"Might be better to cook for him," Frasier told her with a nod. "I can help you out. All we need to do is get rid of Jack for a few hours."
Both of them turned to Daniel, now wide-eyed. "What?" he asked incredulously.
"Take Jack out somewhere for an afternoon, give us a chance to set things up," Janet explained.
"What would you suggest?"
"Take him to a hockey game."
"I hate hockey," Daniel returned. "Jack knows that. Won't he be a bit suspicious?"
"Not if you make it sound like you're going to put with it so that he can see it," Sam joined in the persuasion.
Daniel looked about to protest again, but then relented.
"Thanks, guys. I really appreciate this," Sam said after they had discussed things for a few minutes more.
"Let's see if it works first," Janet cautioned her.
Sam nodded, then looked at her watch. "I need to get back to the base for a while."
"Hey, Jack," Daniel seemed cheerful enough when O'Neill greeted him at the door the following morning. Teal'c had been called back to the base by General Hammond, and Sam had arrived a few minutes earlier, in time for Jack to make her some breakfast. They headed through to the kitchen, where Sam was reading the morning paper over coffee. Jack was part-way through a plate of bacon and eggs, so Daniel made himself some coffee while O'Neill continued eating.
"Say, Jack," Daniel said a little later. "I was just thinking: Do you want to go and catch the Denver NHL game this afternoon?"
O'Neill looked at Jackson through narrowed eyes, instantly suspicious of the young archaeologist. "You hate hockey," was his only comment.
Daniel didn't deny it. "You can hardly go on your own, can you?" He shrugged. "I was willing to put up with it so that you could enjoy the game, but if you're not interested..." He seemed genuinely hurt.
Good acting, Danny, Sam thought with a slight smile.
"I didn't say that!" Jack leapt in, taking the bait without thinking. "If you're sure you can put up with it, I'd like to go."
"Okay. Pick you up at about two, we can grab a late lunch before the face-off."
They left about an hour later. Daniel said that he wanted to deal with something before he and Jack went to the game, and Sam said that she need to go back to the base. Sam headed over to Janet's house, where the two of them continued with the preparations for that evening.
Daniel had said that he would keep Jack away until eight that evening, leaving time for Sam and Janet to organise things. They went first to Sam's apartment to pick up some of her things, then stopped at the grocery store before returning to the Colonel's house.
By half seven, they had tidied the house a little, and set the table with candles and a white cloth. A bottle of white was in the refrigerator, and a pair of thick fillet steaks were ready to be grilled. Janet said that she would finish the cooking leaving Sam to get ready. She showered, then changed into jeans and a vest top, pulling on a pale blue denim shirt. The occasion was supposed to be casual, so she dried off her hair, but did little else with it. Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, she decided that she looked fine.
She heard a car pull up outside, a shout from Janet told her that Jack and Daniel were back. Swallowing her doubts hurriedly, she calmed herself, then went downstairs to meet them.
The front door was opened to admit Jack, looking back over his shoulder, deep in conversation with Daniel. He turned back, stopping in his tracks when he saw Sam. He was so used to seeing her in loose fatigues that he had never really noticed her. Now he stood and stared at her, his eyes wandering subconsciously over her hips and narrow waist. She was...Stunningly beautiful. He mentally kicked himself to come back to reality.
"Woah...Sam..." he managed to stutter eventually.
"Look at the time," Daniel suddenly said from behind. "I've got to get going. Do you need a lift somewhere, Janet?"
Jack noticed Frasier for the first time as she appeared from the kitchen.
"Home, please, Daniel. I'll see you tomorrow, Sam. Goodnight, Colonel," she said hurriedly, making for the door.
"Hold on one minute, you two..." Jack started to say, turning towards the doctor and the retreating archaeologist.
"See you tomorrow, Jack. Good game!" he called back over his shoulder without turning, closing the door after him.
"Why," Jack said, turning back to Sam, "do I get the distinct feeling that I've been set up?"
"Possibly because you have, Sir," Sam told him with a grin.
God, she's so beautiful!Jack thought. "What's this in aid of?"
"I wanted to have a chance to thank you properly," she told him, putting out a hand to him. "For everything you've ever done for me, and especially for saving my life."
He didn't move for a moment, then his haggard face broke into a smile. "You don't need too, Carter." He reached out and took her hand anyway, allowing himself to be led into the house.
"I think that I do, Sir."
"Jack," he corrected. "We're off-duty, remember?"
"In that case,Jack, you have to call me Sam," she told him, treating him to another stunning smile. She led him to the table, then told him to sit down while she headed back into the kitchen.
They ate and talked for a long time. Neither of them were aware of the passage of time: They were lost in each other. As far as they were concerned, the rest of the world didn't exist. Once they had finished, Sam left the table and headed for the Hi-fi unit in the corner of the living room. She had already gone through Jack's small CD collection and had selected a suitable disc. She placed this in the draw, waiting for the notes to drift from the speakers. She returned to Jack at the table, holding out her hands to him, silently communicating. He stood, and drew her close to his body, a smile on his face.
He led gently, swaying slightly to the soft music. Sam rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. She listened to his heartbeat and breathing, lost in the feeling of being close to him. The track finished, but for a while, neither of them noticed. They stayed in the tender embrace, as if unwilling to break contact. Sam lifted her head from his shoulder, and found him looking at her. His eyes seemed sad, distant.
"Jack?" she asked, suddenly scared. Had she done the right thing? "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he said softly, gently stroking a hand over her hair. "It's just...This is a bit difficult for me."
"Jack..."
Her put a finger to her lips. "Hear me out, please. There's something I want to tell you." He sighed before continuing. "After Sara and I separated, and after Charlie...I thought that I wouldn't be able to let anyone close to me again. I was afraid that if I let anyone get that close to me, that I would lose them again. Since I met you, I've..." he trailed off, looking at the floor. "I'm not comfortable talking about things like this."
"It's okay, Jack," she tried to comfort him, placing her hand against his cheek. He leaned into her touch
"What I'm trying to say is...I love you, Sam. I need to know if this is right, if this is what you want. If it isn't..."
This time, she put her finger to his lips, a single tear slipping from her eye at his words. "I love you too, Jack."
He smiled, then ducked down to touch his lips to hers. They parted, but Sam pulled him back to her, kissing him again. She felt him relax against her body, running his hands up her back to her hair.
When Sam woke, pale sunlight was filtering in through the blinds over the window. This time, she remembered immediately where she was, and what had happened the night before. The sleeping form of Jack O'Neill served to reminded her of that. They lay with their arms wrapped around one another, her head on his chest. She smiled to herself, the pleasant memories of the night replaying in her mind, then snuggled closer to him. He stirred slightly under her, then opened his eyes.
"Hey, gorgeous," he said, grinning at her as he stroked her hair.
"Hey yourself," she returned sleepily, tightening her arms to embrace him.
He returned to gesture, studying her face closely, searching for any sign of regret. Finding none, he leaned down to kiss her gently on the forehead. He face became serious for a second, making Sam pull back from him slightly.
"Jack." She knew exactly what he was going to say: Regulations.
"I've wanted this for a long time, more than anything else," he explained, holding her close to him. "I don't want to mess this up, so we'll have to think of something, 'kay?"
"Okay," she lifted her head to kiss him, sighing again as he laid her back on the bed.
His next thought, as he looked deep into her eyes, was that he had found something worth dying for. He had started to doubt himself, but Sam had shown him otherwise.
"Thank you," he whispered, close to her ear.
"What for?"
"For being here when I needed you, for helping me through this."
"That's no problem, Jack. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and for coming back to me."
He smiled, then kissed her again.
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