Temptation
Temptation
by Siobhan Gormley
TITLE: "Temptation"
AUTHOR: Siobhan Gormley
EMAIL:aq806@ncf.ca
CATEGORY: S&J friendship (hint of romantic interest)
SPOILERS: minor ones for "Broca Divide"
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: minor swearing
SUMMARY: Some of Jack's thoughts during early season 1
STATUS: Complete, Parts: 1
REQUIRED READING: none
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, The S&J fic archive, and my site (http://members.tripod.com/~Web7thLevel/TVLAND/pfa.html)
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but this story. I intend no infringement in the use of the characters, who incidentally belong to Gekko, Double Secret, and MGM, and I make no money off of writing this story. It is simply for my, and hopefully the reader's, enjoyment.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Every time I have watched "Broca Divide" and "The First Commandment" I have wondered about one scene in each episode. In BD it was the one when Jack is explaining to Daniel that Sam attempted to seduce him. Daniel's response makes one wonder if he and Jack hadn't previously had a discussion about the possibility of an attraction between the colonel and his captain. That's where the first bit of this fic fills in, before BD. In FC it was the scene where Jack takes Sam aside to talk about Hansen, and the way she talks to him about the other man, it makes it seem like she has already discussed her previous relationship with the other captain with the colonel. That's where the rest of the fic fills in, taking place before FC. I just hope I captured Jack's way of thinking well enough! =)
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One of these days Daniel will stop talking, and I doubt I'll be lucky enough to be there. If I ever hear half of what the man says, let alone understand it, it will be a miracle.
Okay, I have to admit that a lot of the time I zone out as soon as the words "artifact", "theory", or anything ending in "ology" or "ithic" comes out of his mouth. I can't help it, what fascinates him I have no interest in whatsoever. Of course there are times when he finds a way to gain my attention once again, just like he did the other day...
"...Sam." Daniel's expression made it clear to me that he had intentionally mentioned her.
"Sorry Daniel, what's that you were saying? My mind wandered," I told him, a smirk on my face.
"Thinking about Sam?" He was grinning cheekily at me now. Little bugger likes to push his luck.
"Now why would I be doing that?" I asked nonchalantly as I got up to get myself another beer. I was going to ask if he wanted one, but saw he wasn't finished his first.
"Maybe because you seem quite interested in her," he informed me as I made my way to the kitchen. I snorted out a laugh.
"Oh really, Danny. And what do you base this on?" I called from the kitchen. He was quiet for a moment, most likely wincing from my use of his nickname.
"I base this on the fact that the second Sam's name is mentioned in any conversation you're suddenly all ears." I made a face, knowing he was right. Not that I was about to tell him that.
"So? Doesn't mean I'm 'interested' in her." Okay, that was a weak-ass response, but I couldn't think of anything else. Daniel looked at me as if he was thinking the same thing as I returned to the living room.
"C'mon Jack, you can't seriously tell me you aren't attracted to her." I swigged back some beer before answering as I sat across from him once again.
"And what if I was? Nothing I can do about it."
"And why's that?"
"Simple. I'm her CO. Rules say it's a no-no for us to get involved. And anyway, she's not even interested in me. She's more interested in you Daniel." Ha! Take that!
"No, no, I wouldn't say she's interested in me like that," he responded, blushing. "She always seems to find a way to mention you in a conversation, that's for sure. And when did military rules ever stop you from doing what you wanted?" Damn, I hate it when he's able to toss things so easily in to my court once again.
"Say I did want to get involved with her, damning the rules, and she is actually attracted to me, what makes you think she'd just as readily throw away her own rule book?" He grinned at me.
"You never know until you try."
I had tried to forget what Daniel had said, but after we had all been 'touched', it was suddenly back in the front of my thoughts. Sam and I joked about what had happened, skirting around what both of us wanted to really say. It seemed easier to do that. Last thing we wanted was our work to suffer. So in the end we basically pretended like nothing had happened. Yeah, what can I say, sometimes I take the coward's way out.
One day I saw her talking with another officer, a new face to the SGC. They seemed to talk amicably enough, but her body language screamed out how uncomfortable she was. I went to 'save' her, but the other officer moved away. She turned in my direction, her expression contemplative. Her eyes fell on me and she attempted a smile.
"Can I help you with something, sir?"
"Just wanted to make sure you're okay." This time she gave me a genuine smile.
"I'll be fine, thanks."
"If you want to talk about it..." Sam looked around her as several airmen came and went. Her discomfort returned.
"Tell you what, we can go back to my place..." I trailed off again as her face registered a bit of alarm. "Daniel and Teal'c are coming by later. I was going to ask you to join us, I just thought you could come earlier, to talk..that's if you want to," I explained, finding myself getting flustered. She nibbled on her lower lip as she thought over my offer.
"Just to talk," she repeated and I nodded in reply, figuring if I tried to talk I'd start babbling again. "Okay, I'll meet you there."
I sometimes wonder what comes over me when I open my big mouth and say things I wouldn't normally. Like asking Sam to come over early. Here we were trying to keep things between us relatively professional, only seeing each other with others around, yet for some reason I decided to toss that right out the window today. And so from the minute I got home I couldn't stop kicking myself. What was I thinking? Being alone with her was the last thing I should be doing, especially after recent events.
My mind kept returning to that afternoon in the locker room. The pure, unadulterated lust in her eyes had stunned me, the harsh pressure of her lips on mine and her grasping hands was still felt as if she had done it all only moments before. God I had wanted to give in to my need, but I had to do the respectful thing and push her away since she was as good as intoxicated. But tonight she'd be here, most likely very sober for the whole night. And we'd be alone for a good couple of hours.
The sound of the doorbell shook me out of my thoughts. Time to face the music.
I opened the door, my palms sweating like I was a teenager on his first date. She smiled at me nervously as I ushered her in. I couldn't help admiring how she looked. Leather sandals, snugly fitted blue jeans, a light blue top covered over by a matching cardigan, and just a touch of make-up, her lips made to stand out with a red lipstick. All this made it quite obvious to me that she was something more than solely my captain, my 2IC. She was most pleasantly a woman.
I came out of my self-imposed reverie, mildly chastising myself for daydreaming with her standing right there. I really needed to get a grip before she ran away screaming, or knocked me down on my six. I couldn't help a smile at that last piece of thought and she looked at me curiously. I made like everything was as it should be and led her to the living room, asking her what she wanted to drink. She asked for a beer, and this actually perked me up slightly. As I walked to the kitchen, I thought that maybe she wouldn't be as sober as I had originally thought, making it that much easier to push down my feelings. Of course some people were notorious for getting more talkative when drunk, and I seemed to recall Sam being exactly that way.
I sighed. Well, I *had* asked her over to talk, so I better just buck up and deal with it if what happened between us comes up.
I returned to the living room with a couple of beers to find the room empty. I noticed that the door to the porch was open. I made my way back there and stopped just in the doorway. Sam was standing on the porch near the railing, arms crossed in front. As if she were trying to capture the warmth of the remaining daylight on her face, she arched her neck slightly, head back, eyes closed, a tiny smile on her face. A breeze suddenly blew in, mussing her hair and making her smile even wider. I was so mesmerized by the sight that I didn't really register that she had stopped what she was doing until she spoke up.
"Colonel?" My eyes focussed on her properly and I tried not to look guilty. From the embarrassed grin on her face I knew I was failing miserably. I held out a bottle to her and she took it gladly, taking a swig from it, looking away from me and out to the backyard.
"You have a nice place here, lots of open space," she commented sociably. I left the doorway and walked over to the railing, leaning against it beside her.
"Yeah, well, I like my space," I replied. She chuckled at my response.
"You always been a loner?" Her question made me wonder. I had never thought of myself in that way, but I guess since my break-up with Sara I have been keeping to myself more often than not.
"Not always. What about you?" Her head turned quickly to face me, her expression tinged with surprise.
"What makes you think I'm a loner?"
"Well, you just, uh, seem to prefer being by yourself in the lab a lot, is all. I just assumed..." She looked away from me again.
"Never assume anything." She was trying to keep her tone light, but I could hear a certain edge to it. I knew I had hit a nerve and I wanted to make it better. I reached out with my free hand and touched her shoulder lightly.
"I'm sorry, you're right. Just like me to jump to conclusions." Sam tried not to smile at my response, but she was fighting a losing battle. Soon enough one lit up her features.
"Should I record this day for posterity?" I shook my head at her joking. I guess I deserved that one.
"Am I always such a pain in the ass?" She took a swig from the bottle she held, then looked at me.
"Not always," she said softly, repeating my own earlier words. We stood there for a moment, watching the other and not saying anything.
Sam took in a breath and shivered slightly since the air was beginning to chill now that the sun had fully gone down.
"I'll get you something warmer," I informed her.
"Why don't we just go inside," she suggested, moving to do just that. I stopped her.
"Actually, there's something I want to show you, up on the roof." Her expression was curious, but also wary.
"On the roof," she repeated evenly. I nodded.
"Yep. There's a ladder over there. Go on up and I'll join you in a minute." At first I thought she was going to say no, but she seemed to decide to go anyway. I watched her walk over to the ladder, then ran inside to get jackets and a lawn chair I had hidden in one of the closets.
Returning outside with my supplies, I put on one jacket then headed over to the ladder. As I made my way up I began to wonder at how quiet it was. Was she up there or had she left while I was inside?
My question was answered as my head made it past the eavestroughing. She was seated in front of my telescope, gazing through it. As I pulled myself up, I put the extra jacket and chair out of my way a little loudly so as to catch her attention, which it did. She grinned mischievously.
"Found what you wanted to show me. Do you watch your neighbors often?" I attempted to feign innocence.
"What do you mean?"
"The telescope is pointed at your neighbor's house." I pulled myself up on the roof and walked the short distance to the telescope, pushing it to face up.
"It slips down on its own," I explained, then let it go to prove my point. The annoying thing decided to stay in place, for once. Sam let out a loud laugh and I joined her, even though it was at my expense.
Once we stopped laughing, I passed her the spare jacket, then opened up the lawn chair and sat down beside her.
"So when did you take up an interest in astronomy?" she asked.
"I've always liked looking at the stars, sort of comforting that no matter where you are in the world they're always a constant." She seemed surprised at my response. "What, you don't think I can be a deep thinker?"
"Oh no, that's not it at all, sir.."
"Jack, please. We're off-duty, Sam." She smiled her agreement. "Don't worry, I really didn't take offense. I know I don't seem to be the most deep person around."
"You have your moments," she told me, provoking a smile from the both of us. Silence descended over us once again and I started thinking about her reason for being here. Should I bring it up or should I wait until she does?
"Have you ever been in love with someone who's wrong for you?" Her question took me by surprise, taking me out of my current thoughts and in to some new ones.
"I..I guess so. I think every person has had that happen to them once." She glanced up at the stars.
"Try three times." If I looked surprised before, I must have looked positively stunned now.
"Three?" Sam looked at me once again.
"Yeah, I guess I never learned my lesson very well." Something dawned on me.
"Was that guy today one of them?" She gave me a rueful smile.
"Jonas Hansen, number three as a matter of fact. Almost married him too." She didn't stop surprising me, it seemed.
"Why..I mean, if you don't mind.."
"Why didn't I marry Jonas?" I nodded and she continued. "He seemed wonderful and charming, this 'perfect' man. I knew though that he had problems stemming from his years in Black Ops, but I foolishly thought I could help him heal. Deep down he didn't want that, although to keep some sort of hold on me he went along with it." She paused, the memory of it all getting to her a bit. I felt for her since I had seen many of my colleagues go that way, hell, I had nearly gone that way. Only with the help of good friends did I manage to avoid becoming a user, a controller. Admittedly I still have a bit of the controller in me, but only when working. You can never entirely break free of that.
My attention was brought back to her as she sighed deeply, ready to begin again.
"Finally one day I saw through his facade and broke off the engagement, gave back the ring and everything. I didn't want any reminders of him. He didn't take the break-up well. He would call at all hours or leave packages and letters for me. When I finally got the police involved he seemed to back off, and I hadn't seen or heard from him in a few months, until today. He told me that after I had last seen him he had gone and talked to a psychologist, something I hadn't expected. He seems to have pulled himself together really well. He actually wants us to try and be friends." She paused again and I could tell she wanted to say more, but I filled it in for her.
"But you're not sure if you want that." Sam nodded.
"On one hand I want to believe he has gotten better, but on the other..I don't want to fall in to the same trap I did before." She shivered a little, whether it was from the coolness of the night or her last thoughts I wasn't sure. I reached out and lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. She seemed surprised by it, but didn't shrug it off. She even gave me a small smile of thanks.
"Why don't we go inside, warm up by the fire. Daniel and Teal'c should be here soon." She nodded her agreement.
I led the way down the ladder, helping her as she made it to the last rung. I let my hands linger longer at her waist than I should have before putting them at my sides, but she didn't seem to mind. She gave me a teasing grin.
"Such a gentleman." I found myself flushing in embarrassment. Thank goodness she couldn't see it all that well. "Thanks for listening to my babbling," she told me, her tone more serious.
"No problem. I'm actually getting used to it." I couldn't help it, I just *had* to make light. Can't change this tiger's stripes too easily. She rolled her eyes and playfully slapped me on the shoulder, turning to go inside.
"C'mon, Colonel Smartass, it's getting cold out here and I could use some of your infamous coffee," she threw out, winking at me over her shoulder. I simply shook my head, knowing I deserved the name.
As I followed her in, I thought once again about my previous nervousness of being alone with her and I marvelled a bit at how that had so easily disappeared. We are so comfortable already with each other that she opened up to me, and I did to her. Admittedly she had done so more than I, but I think it's a step in the right direction. Not to say that if she ever brings up what happened when we were 'touched', or anything more than friendly feelings, I'll be any less nervous, but at least the temptation to run from such a discussion is becoming that much less.
THE END
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