The poems
The poems
by Shana
TITLE: The poems
AUTHOR: Shana
EMAIL: lil_angelic_007@yahoo.co.uk
CATEGORY: Romance, Poetry
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SPOILERS: almost any episode up to season 3
SEASON / SEQUEL: 3
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY: Sam and Jack express their feelings for each other in poems.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
The original poem that made me write mine is called "Coats". Also no copyright infringement intended. The poems in my story are all MINE he he :)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well... this was written on a lonely evening... so sorry if it is sooooo sappy ;-) I kinda enjoy writing poems and it fit. Please send feedback if you liked or disliked my story. I might make it a series if you want. If you have read any of my other stories let me know as well. Thanks to everyone! Big hugs and kisses to my beta readers Insa and Susanna.
Jack O'Neill was opening the door of his locker when he noticed a piece of paper at the bottom of Sam's locker. He draw it out to put it in properly, but had a look at it first. It was a poem written by Sam.
"Sam is writing poems?" he thought confused.
Sometimes I wish
That it was allowed
To love you.
Sometimes I hope
Regs will be changed
So I can be with you.
You might not feel the same
And I'm only your 2IC
But I know that you're the one.
I feel the cold
And all the time I think about
How warm it would be with you.
Jack was a little shocked when he had ended. He had a hard time trying to stop the wave of longing that swept over him. She meant him, and he loved her so much... he understood exactly what she felt. It was also difficult for him, but regs were regs. Joining the military meant accepting to stick to the rules that were set. But did the military have the right to keep them apart? Their job was dangerous, they could die every day without having had the possibility to act on their feelings. No, the regs couldn't stop people from living a true love. And their love was true, Jack was sure about it.
Never could he have imagined that she felt the same way he did. He quickly made his decision. Back in his quarters he grabbed a pen and a paper and wrote.
Sometimes I wish
I could tell you
Just how much you mean to me.
Sometimes I wish
I could stop
Loving you so much.
You might not know
How often I thought I'd lost you
But you came back and I loved you even more.
I see your smile
And it makes me realise
That I can never have what I desire most.
Jack had never written something like that before, but the words just came out easily. Since he wasn't someone to talk about his feeling he was even more stunned. Maybe it was because he trusted Sam with all his heart, because he loved her. He knew she'd understand.
Sam was tired. The whole day she had been working in the lab, and now she yearned for a hot shower. She had a look at her watch, finally, woman's turn in the locker rooms. She took a long shower and when she went back to her locker to dress she was surprised to find a second paper lying on top of hers.
"Damn" she thought. "I hope no one's read it! My career would so be over! I should've hidden it better!"
She quickly looked at it and saw it was Jack's handwriting.
"OH MY GOD! NOT JACK!"
Some girls looked at her strangely, so he flipped the poem into her pocket.
"That might be just a note... yeah that's it... he hasn't read it, no way, he hasn't..."
After she had dressed she walked to her quarters to read it. She couldn't wait to read what he had written. If he had read her poem... she'd better not think about it.
Sometimes I wish
I could tell you
Just how much you mean to me.
Sometimes I wish
I could stop
Loving you so much.
You might not know
How often I thought I'd lost you
But you came back and I loved you even more.
I see your smile
And it makes me realise
That I can never have what I desire most.
Sam had tears in her eyes. She never knew he could open himself so much and she felt that it came from the bottom of his heart. The love she could feel he had felt whilst writing it was overwhelming. Now she had a fair imagination of what being with him would be like. It was so hard for her to take, she loved him and didn't have the possibility to touch. It sucked. He was her true love, she just knew it. Without hesitating she wrote back.
Sometimes I'm afraid
You might regret one day
That we have done this.
Sometimes I wish it was easier
But you know what they say
True love is always complicated.
You make me smile
Everyday of my live
And it 's you I get up for.
I've got eyes to see
That this will change us
I don't know if I'm ready.
Jack read the last line over and over again.
"I don't know if I'm ready? What is that supposed to mean? Doesn't she want this? Doesn't she want me? God no, I can't lose her now, not over this! I won't let anything or anyone take her away from me now. I love her."
I wish I knew
What you mean by not being ready
It could be because of me.
Sometimes I wish
I was as smart as you
So there was something I could offer you.
I don't know what I have done
To deserve you
But I won't let no one take you away.
I'm ready
Because you're with me
My love is all I have to give.
Jack waited for her answer, but almost a week had passed and he still had got no answer. The relation between Sam and himself had changed, they were both so happy and enjoyed each other's company immensely. Daniel and Teal'C noticed something happening but kept quiet about it. Daniel knew what Jack was like when being grouchy, so he literally worshipped Sam for having changed him. Sg-1 was in an excellent mood 24/7. Hammond also noticed that they were more enthusiastic than before but as he had no clue as to what had caused it he didn't mention it.
Almost two weeks after Jack had put the last poem into Sam's locker he found one from her Finally! His hands were shaking a little as he didn't know what to expect. What he read was actually what he had least expected.
I might not be ready
Because a lot of things happened
That I just can't forget.
You have been hurt a lot in life
By Kawalsky dying
Or when 'Charlie' showed up.
Hathor used you
And the orbit almost made you die
It hurt me as well.
How could I forget though
About your offered advise
After I had almost killed Jonas.
Jack knew she was right, but he had to say things as well.
Things happen
And you cannot stop them
But my love is stronger.
What about you and Narim
You loved him
Just as you now love Martuuf.
When they told me it was year 2077
I thought I had lost you
Like I thought it when Jolinar went into you.
I thought I would lose you
When we were sucked into the black hole
I noticed I couldn't cope with it.
"Is he ever gonna learn that I don't love Martuuf?? And Narim... okay... but no one can compare to him! I gotta make him understand that!" Sam thought - and started a new poem.
I do not love Narim
Nor Martuuf,
those are Jolinar's feelings
In Antarctica you called for Sara
And when your crystal copy showed up
I thought I had lost you and she got you back.
What about Kynthia that you married
And afterwards you almost died
I felt like dying but for you I went through.
When you had all that knowledge
And went almost crazy
I noticed I couldn't cope with it.
"This is so wrong, yet it is totally what I want! God I want him so bad, I have to tell him soon. Sam you gotta stop beating around the bush and just tell him that you're ready."
"Oh for cryin out loud! When is she gonna learn that I love nobody but her? I gotta tell her that."
Sometimes I remember how I felt
when you were with Cassie in the elevator
and wouldn't leave her.
Sometimes I wish
You could have heard my heart pounding
When you were promoted, I was so proud.
If you only knew
How great you looked in the blue dress
Not to mention the tank top.
I envy our copies
Although they must live with Harlan
At least they are free to love.
"Oh I hope she doesn't get the part about the tank top wrong. Is she still unsure about us? It has already brought us closer, she is everything I want!"
"That about the dress was hopefully not meant like it sounded! But he's just so... breathtaking. Perfect doesn't even start to describe it!"
Some things that happened
Shouldn't have
As I have never succeeded in forgetting them.
Why did there have to be Laira
Or even the alternate reality version of me
Didn't you think about how much it hurt me?
Still I can't thank you enough
For all the times you were there for me
When I needed someone to talk.
You're the reason I live
You're my weakness and my strength
I love you Jack.
"This was the most emotional poem she's ever written. I know I hurt her... I don't even know why! I've been a bastard! But that doesn't count anymore, does it. All that counts is us."
I know that a lot I've done hurt you
And it's beyond me why you forgave me
But you're all I want.
It's not only your beauty that I admire
But also your smartness, your beautiful heart
And the fact that you make me happy.
I never loved someone as much as I love you
And I never will again
Please let me love you.
No matter what happened in the past
This is our future
I love you Sam.
I know I know... it's sappy... but I like it :-)!! Pleeeeeeeeeease send feedback!! Thanks a lot!
2001
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