by Saz Ikal
TITLE: Runaway
AUTHOR: Saz Ikal
EMAIL: sazikal@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Angst, Romance
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SPOILERS: none given
SEASON / SEQUEL: future
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY: Sam and Jack have broken up, then Sam gets some life changing news.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: The characters aren't mine, the Stargate isn't mine, not even the SGC is mine. The only thing that's mine is the story. So if you want to put it somewhere, please let me know so I can come check it out!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: If you like it please let me know. I'm thinking of doing a sequel, depends on the amount of feedbacck...
DEDICATION: For Cat who corrects my dreadful spelling. My best friend, I'm lucky to have you!
Sam and Janet walked into the cafeteria and Janet scanned the seats.
"There's a free table over there." Sam indicated, but Janet linked arms with her and shook her head.
"Sorry Sam, we're not sitting there." She said, instead steering them over to another table where Jack, Daniel and Teal'c sat. Sam glared at Janet who just smiled back at her.
A little under 3 months ago Jack and Sam, who had been a couple, had a huge argument, none of the other guys really knew what it was about. They knew Sam had thrown him out, and that she was still angry with him. That much was obvious from the way she would minimise time spent with him and only spoke to him when she had to.
"Hey guys." Daniel said as he noticed them approaching.
We're not guys was the first thought that came into Sam's head but instead she said answered with a "Hi." Jack, who was sitting opposite her, tried to meet her eyes but she just look away. He sighed inwardly and stood up.
"I'll go get us some drinks. What do you guys want?" He asked, looking around the table.
"Oh thanks. I'll just have a coke." Janet said. Jack nodded and he looked at Daniel.
"Daniel?"
"Coffee."
"Why do I even ask?" Jack muttered and turned to Sam. "Sam?"
"Er, just a glass of milk," she shrugged
"Milk?" Jack asked with a frown.
"Yeah. Tall, cold glass of milk." Sam said
"Are you sure? Just milk?" Jack said, still frowning.
"Yes! I just fancy a glass of milk! Is that ok?"
"Yeah, of course. Er, Teal'c, what do you want?"
"I too will have a coffee O'Neill." Teal'c replied with what Jack could've sworn was almost a smile.
When Jack got back to the table conversation was in full swing and he set the tray of drinks down. Sam helped take the drinks from the tray without looking at him once.
They'd only been talking a few minutes when Jack noticed Sam had finished her milk.
"Want another?" He asked. Sam shot him a look.
"I'll get it." She said standing up and taking her glass over to the counter. Jack watched her go with a wistful look, before turning back.
Janet saw Sam heading for the door with her glass of milk and excused herself. Teal'c looked across at O'Neill and then at Daniel Jackson before he remembered he had to do something elsewhere.
Jack picked up his mug and began to slowly swirl the last few drops of his tea around. Daniel watched him for a minute before speaking up.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked. For a moment Jack didn't say anything.
"Jack?"
"I miss her Daniel. I see her everyday and yet..." his voice broke. "She's so close, and she's so far away."
Daniel watched Jack's mournful statement considering how to phrase his reply.
"Jack, I don't know what happened but it wouldn't hurt to apologise."
"Don't you think I've tried Daniel!" Jack said snapping his head up and glaring angrily at him. Daniel let it slide; he knew the anger wasn't directed at him. A few moments passed and Jack look away, the anger had died out just a suddenly as it had flared up.
"You saw how it is between us Daniel. I've tried dozen's of times."
"Well... try harder!"
"It's not that easy."
"Make it that easy Jack!"
Jack rounded the corner to Sam's lab determined to speak to her before she left base. Just as he was about to knock on the open door he noticed her, asleep at her desk. He smiled, she looked so peaceful and relaxed, the lines of stress and worry lifted from her face. He didn't want to disturb her.
Walking into her lab fully he pulled up a stool to watch her sleep, but frowned as he looked at the clock. He knew that she would often work until she fell asleep at her desk but it was only 19:30. This whole thing must be putting a bigger strain on her than she was letting on.
Just over an hour later Sam opened her eyes and blinked sleepily.
"Ja...Sir?" She said when she saw him sitting on the stool opposite, apparently watching her sleep.
"Hey," he said gently.
Re-gaining her composure almost instantly, she looked at her watch and frowning.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, standing up.
"I wanted to talk," he said looking her in the eye. She broke eye contact immediately, not letting herself show any signs of emotion and busying herself with putting her stuff into her bag.
"Well I'm heading home now, maybe some other time," she said striding purposefully towards the door.
"Sam!" Jack said forcefully, standing up. She stopped and turned to face him at the same time as Daniel came round the corner.
"Daniel!" Sam exclaimed. "The Colonel was just saying he wanted to talk to you. So I'll see you guys later!" She said with a wave, quickly walking off. Daniel turned to Jack.
"What did you wanna talk about?"
Jack sighed and dropped his head.
NEXT DAY
Sam read the sentence for the fourth time before sighing and putting it down. It was no use, she just couldn't get her mind to focus on the SG-11's mission report. In fact she couldn't get her mind to focus on anything apart from Jack.
Exactly 2 months, 3 weeks, 5 days and.... she glanced at her watch... about 9 hours ago, she and Jack had broken up. And for every single second of that time she'd felt like crap. She had no idea how she could be so angry with him and yet at the same time be so in love him. She wanted him to apologise to her; she knew that. She also knew that she was still too angry with him at the moment to listen.
Standing up to stretch Sam suddenly felt kind of queasy. A second later and she knew she was going to throw up and that she wasn't going to make it to the toilet. She grabbed her bin and proceeded to throw up in it.
"Hey Sam, you ok?" Daniel said slowly, observing from her doorway.
"I've just thrown up in my bin Daniel. What do you think?"
"Err..."
"Sorry Daniel, didn't mean to snap at you." She apologised getting up with a sigh and pouring herself a glass of milk.
"Do you want something to drink?" She asked, putting the cap back on the carton and putting it back in the fridge. Daniel shook his head.
"So, do you wanna go see Janet or something?" He asked, gesturing to her bin.
"No I'm fine, just got the flu I think."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I've got a bit of a temperature but I've taken some aspirin to get it down."
"Okay, well if you're sure. Actually I came to ask you if you wanted to go out with us."
"Us...?"
"Me, Teal'c, Janet....Jack."
"Um not tonight Daniel. Like I said, got a bit of flu."
"C'mon Sam, You can't avoid him forever."
"I am NOT avoiding him."
Daniel raised his eyebrows and looked down at the floor, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"Okay well maybe I am, and you're right. But I can't do it, not tonight." Sam said quietly.
"Sam, I know he hurt you and me and Teal'c have given him more than a hard time about it..." Daniel said slowly and tears came to her eyes that she harshly rubbed away."...But it's been nearly 3 months now Sam. Maybe you should at least listen to what he has to say." Daniel finished. Sam spun round to face him.
"WHY should I Daniel?! Give me one, just one reason why I should!!"
"Cause you care about him? Cause you love him?"
Sam glared at him for a minute or so that looked away in defeat. It was true. No matter how much he hurt her, no matter how angry she was with him, she did love him. She would always love him.
"I have to go now Daniel," she said quietly, quickly shutting down her computer.
"Okay, well if you reconsider, we'll be at Pizza Hut."
"Okay, I'll keep it in mind."
"Good. 'Nite Sam."
"'Nite Daniel. And thanks, for stopping by I mean."
"Anytime," he said leaving with a wave of his hand.
THAT NIGHT
Janet smiled when she saw Daniel walk in and waved to get his attention. Seeing her Daniel walked over to their table and slid in beside her.
"Hi guys."
"Major Carter is not with you?" Teal'c asked
"Err, no. She's been feeling a bit under the weather and she'd just been sick when I went to see her today."
"And you didn't tell her to come and see me!" Janet exclaimed
"I did! She said she was fine, it was just the flu."
"I'm not so sure, I think something's up"
"I don't think there's anything to worry about Janet."
"Daniel she's drunk three pints of milk in a day and you don't think that's weird?"
"Three pints of milk? How do you know that?"
"I just do Daniel."
"Do what?" asked Jack coming back from the bar with their drinks.
"Oh nothing, just arguing about why Janet likes this place so much," shrugged Daniel.
Tuesday BRIEFING
Sam kept her eyes on General Hammond and tried to concentrate on what he was saying. The briefing was finally drawing to a close, which meant she could leave. She wanted to get as far away as possible and as quickly as possible. She knew Jack would try to talk to her again as soon as the General left the room and she didn't want to wait that long. Fidgeting in her chair she felt Jack's eyes on her for the hundredth time that meeting. Refusing to meet his eyes she looked down at the report in front of her and straightened out the paper work, silently thanking the General as he stood up to dismiss them. She along with the other members of Sg-1 stood up too and suddenly she felt dizzy and had to grab her chair for support
"Woah," she said under her breath as all eyes in the room looked at her
"Are you ok Major Carter?" Teal'c asked concerned.
"Yeah Teal'c. I'm just a bit dizzy. Think I stood up too quick." Sam said, steadying herself quickly
"Oh that reminds me; Major Carter, Dr Fraiser requested that you go and see her directly after the briefing."
"Yes Sir." Sam said with a frown, puzzled. She shrugged and shook her head at the guys questioning looks.
INFIRMARY
"Sam, I'll be with you in a sec, take a seat." Janet said gesturing to a nearby bed. Sam sat on it and noticed that Janet had dismissed the two nurses who had been working.
"Okay Sam." Janet said approaching and standing in front of the bed she was sitting on
"General Hammond said you wanted to see me."
"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Must be pretty important if you didn't want those nurses to overhear."
"It might be. You've, ah, been feeling under the weather lately?"
"I think it's just flu really Janet. I'm just feeling tired all the time." Sam said with a shrug as Janet popped a thermometer in her mouth and looked at the results.
"Hmm, you've got a bit of a temperature as well. Any other symptoms?"
"Janet I'm not ill!"
"Daniel said your lunch didn't agree with you a few days ago."
"That was none of his business to tell you."
"Maybe you should have. Sam I'm not trying to pester you, but in your line of work I have to check."
"You're right. I should've told you."
"Okay so anything else. Anything at all?"
"Um. I'm going to the loo a fair bit recently."
"Hmmm yeah. Thought so." Janet muttered almost to herself.
"What is it Janet? What are you thinking."
"Nothing definite yet."
"But...."
"Well to be honest Sam, it er, it sounds to me like...well like you'll be feeling a lot better in about 9 months."
For an incredibly smart person it took Sam a minute to click.
"What...No. You don't mean... No. C'mon Janet! Just cause I'm tired and I've been sick a few times you think I'm pregnant!"
"If those were the only symptoms I'd say no."
"They ARE!"
"Raised temperature, increased urination, mood swings..."
"I have NOT had mood swings."
Janet raised her eyebrows and continued.
"Ok, so morning sickness."
"I haven't been sick in the morning." "Morning sickness can occur any time during the day Sam." "Then why call it morning sickness." Sam muttered under her breath.
"Spells of dizziness..."
"That's only happened the one time. And how did you find out about that, it only just happened."
"...And then add your recent craving of milk..." Janet left her sentence hanging but Sam shook her head.
"No. It's not possible."
"Are you sure?"
"Janet I broke up with Jack two and a half months ago."
"Ok, well how about we take the test?."
"Janet it can't be true. Jack and I...we aren't even talking."
"I don't think that really effects whether it's true or not."
"Janet...."
"I don't know what to say Sam. Take the test. Prove me wrong."
INFIRMARY
"Tests came back Sam." Janet said quietly, looking her in the eye. Sam sighed and sank into the nearby chair.
"I'm pregnant." Sam said, somehow already knowing the truth. Janet nodded.
There was silence for a minute and Janet could almost see the wheels in Sam's head turning.
"I can't gate travel anymore can I?" Sam eventually said.
"I wouldn't recommend it," Janet said with a shake of her head. "When are you going to talk to Jack about it."
"I'm not."
"What you don't think he'll notice when you start growing a bump? He stares at you enough Sam, he'll notice pretty soon!"
"This doesn't change anything Janet." "Sam, it changes everything."
"Not between me and Jack. He's still hurt me. He still hasn't apologised, he still hasn't said he wants me back."
"You haven't given him a chance Sam! You run away every time he tries."
"So it's my fault!?"
"No, I didn't say that."
"You implied it." "Maybe I did, and I'm sorry if it came out like that. But Sam, this is his baby too. He has right to know."
"I am not going to tell him. And you aren't either."
"You know I can't. Doctor-patient confidentiality. "
"Good."
"Sam, would you please listen to him."
"What, you think because I'm pregnant I need to work things out with him!"
"I think it's a pretty good reason to try."
"No Janet. If he wants to get back together I want it to be because he wants me. Not because he wants the baby and not because he feels he's obligated to. I want him to want to be with me because he loves me, like I love him. To need me, like I need him," she said, tears running down her face unchecked.
"Oh Sam." Janet said, immediately getting up and pulling her into a hug. When they pulled away Sam hurriedly wiped her eyes.
"I'm sorry Janet. I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about this."
"Hey don't be so hard on yourself. I don't know anyone else could've got through everything that's happened with you two without breaking down."
"Oh I've broken down before this believe me. It's just I can normally control myself in public."
"Well Sam you're nearly 3 months pregnant. Your hormones are in overdrive."
GATE ROOM
"General, where's Major Carter?"
"Colonel, I'm afraid that's a need to know answer."
"She's a member of my team sir! That means I need to know!"
"Not anymore Colonel! Major Carter handed in her resignation papers 14 hours ago."
"WHAT?!"
"I advised her to use her remanding leave that was due to her before she resigned. She left her papers with me with incase she does not return after her leave finishes."
"When's that?"
"Three week's time."
"Three weeks! Oh for cryin' out loud...have you put her papers through yet?" Jack asked, already on his feet.
"No, I can't do that till the end of leave."
"Ok." Jack said, nodding almost to himself.
INFIRMARY
"Fraiser." Janet answered the phone as she dropped some paper work on her desk.
"Hi Janet."
"Sam! Where are you?! I've been worried sick!"
"I'm ok Janet. Really I'm fine. I've got a flat above a takeaway pizza place. It's ok not too far away but far enough to give me some distance."
"Sam, this really isn't a good idea. You need to be here."
"Janet I have to do this."
"General Hammond said you might not come back."
"I'll be coming back home Janet. Just maybe not at the SGC."
"Don't you want to come back Sam?"
"I really don't know at the moment Janet. Truth be told I'm glad the General didn't accept my resignation right away. It's just this baby will change everything, like you said Janet. I don't know if I can be a good mother if I'm regularly away for days at a time."
"Come back home Sam. Aside from the fact that I've been your doctor for 5 years, you need your friends around you." "I can't come back at the moment Janet. I need some time. Besides I can't do my work properly or go through the gate so I'm not much use to anyone"
"What about the use they can be to you?"
"Janet you know I love all you guys. I know you want to help but I really need some time alone to deal with this."
"Sam, are you happy about this?"
"I just don't know, things are happening so fast."
About to answer her, Janet nearly choked on her sentence as she saw Jack come into the infirmary.
"I agree completely Dr White." Janet said, changing her original sentence to let Sam know.
"So you can't talk...Jack?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Ok, I'll ring you soon."
"ASAP Dr, it's important."
"Yeah Janet, I will. Say hi to Cassie for me."
"Absolutely. Thank you for the help Dr."
"Bye Janet."
"That was Sam wasn't it."
"Um...no. Actually it wasn't. It was..."
"Come on, you don't lie very well. Where is she?"
"I can't say. Doctor-patient confidentially."
"I thought you said it was Doctor White."
"Doctor – Doctor confidentiality?"
"Janet come on. Where is she?" "I can't tell you."
"Janet..."
"Hypothetically... if that were her on the phone... hypothetically speaking of course."
"Of course."
"Then I don't think she would've told me."
Jack sighed.
"Hypothetically... if that were her, did she drop any hints?"
Janet bit her lip and made a private decision.
"Well, I guess in a hypothetical situation she may have mentioned something about where she was living. Like above a pizza place, to pick a totally random, hypothetical example."
"Okay Doctor, thanks for your, hypothetical advice."
JACK'S OFFICE
"Hammond wants you in his office,"
"Err I can't, I'm busy"
"Jack did you hear me right? General Hammond wants you right away"
"Yeah I heard you Daniel, it's just gonna have to wait."
General Hammond POV a few hours later
"Colonel, you need to leave in 2 hours."
"No. Sir."
"No Sir?" Hammond echoed. He studied Jack for a second as he hung up the phone.
"Colonel O'Neill." The General said, Jack either didn't hear him or ignored him.
"She's gotta be in one of these three places" he said to himself.
"COLONEL! I hate to have to do this but I'm sending you to a psychiatrist."
This got his attention.
"What?! No way!"
"It's not a request Jack, it's an order. You been refusing to carry out orders, sleeping at your desk and not even leaving your office as you're never off the phone!"
"General, Sir. There's nothing wrong with me."
"Just one visit Colonel. Let the psychiatrist be the judge of whether there is anything wrong with you."
The General had a small smile on his face as he left his 2IC's office. He and Jack both knew there was nothing wrong with him. But hopefully this would act as a wakeup call that Jack needed to get a move on.
Jack's POV
The General left and Jack sighed and put his head in his hands. He couldn't believe he had to go and see some quack when he really wanted to go and see Sam. Regardless of this the next day he was sitting opposite some guy called Mr Theme (But he was free to call him John.).
"Well Jack, you certainly have some issues."
"Yeah well you're not having them. They're the only things I do have." Jack said folding his arms. 'John' smiled at him as if he were a kid.
"You're a very deep and complex individual."
"Yeah. I'm deep, I'm complex... and I'm bored." Jack said with a sigh of boredom. 'John' was taken aback but forced a smile.
"My time here is over." Jack said and walked out of the office.
An hour later Jack was called to Hammond's office.
"Well General am I insane? Cause that would really improve my day."
"Mr Theme re..."
"I'm free to call him 'John' Sir." Jack interrupted. The General cleared his throat and started again.
"Mr Theme reported you are a very troubled individual, and have a negative, bordering aggressive attitude towards others. So, other than your normal behaviour you're fine."
"Great." Jack said standing up. "Now if you don't mind General I request permission to use any leave I have due."
"Request granted son. Use its wisely. Dismissed."
General watched the hurriedly retreating figure of Colonel O'Neill with a smile.
"Go get her son."
Jack frowned and drove slowly forward in the pouring rain, squinting at this set of apartments. They didn't look the healthiest of places to be living. The rain had made the sky dark but even through it Jack could still see the uneven pavement, the cracked walls and the broken drain pipe.
There was a blinking fluorescent light over the Chinese takeout that was only partly working, and the 'Spar' shop sandwiched between the takeout and the pizza place was the cleanest out of the lot. He parked and got out. Immediately rain streamed over his face and clothes. Even before he locked the car door he felt water begin to trickle down his back. With a sigh he began walking purposefully round to the back of these shops, looking up at the four apartments above them when...splash! He looked down as he lifted his now wet foot out of the water filled pothole he had just stepped in and sighed. Giving it a quick shake, which proved utterly useless, he carried on, his footsteps now squelching with every step. Blinking up and shielding his eyes from the rain he saw a very dodgy looking staircase leading up to the flats. The cement steps were deeply cracked and uneven, half of them filled with shallow muddy puddles like the one he had just stepped in.
Placing a hand on the bubbled and cracked handrail, Jack didn't fancy his chances if he fell and so very carefully felt his way to the top. Once on the walkway that linked the four flats, Jack thought he might as well start with the nearest one. He knocked twice and while waiting for the footsteps to reach the door he had the advantage of being able to take in every detail of the green door it's paint pealing off and wonky door number.
The door opened, but only a fraction, prevented from opening further by a chain. A small elderly woman with white hair and glasses peered out at him through the rain.
"Yes?" She almost snarled.
"Hi. I'm looking for a young woman. Short blond and blue eyes. I have a picture." He said taking the soggy photo out of his back pocket and handing it to her through the gap in the door. The woman looked at it then gave it back, looking at him suspiciously.
"Third door down." She croaked and slammed the door in his face. Jack stood there for a moment staring at the door inches from his face.
"I love elderly people. So friendly." He said in a sarcastically cheerful voice. He sighed, walking to the door she had indicated. It wasn't much better than the previous door but at least the door number was still straight. He knocked, hoping against hell that this was where Sam was and not someone who just looked like her.
"Just a minute!" a familiar voice yelled a few seconds later. Jack's heart skipped a beat. He'd found her, he had actually found her. Thank god!
His train of thought was interrupted as the door opened revealing Sam in a red dressing gown and a wet towel in her hands. She had obviously just got out of the shower and considering how wet he was he could have been too.
The rain continued to pour down and they'd been standing there for a moment, each staring at each other. Sam in utter surprise, and a million emotions running through her, while Jack was trying to figure out exactly what it was he had intended to do when he found her.
"Hi." He said, thinking it was as good a way to start as any. "Can I come in?" He asked hesitantly.
Sam, with so many thoughts running through her mind was having difficulty thinking. No. She didn't particularly want him to come in, but then she didn't want to leave him out in the rain either.
With a small nod she opened the door wider for him to come in.
"Thanks." Jack said, standing at the end of a narrow hallway, dripping on her mat. Sam stretched out her arm to indicate down the hall. The narrow corridor opened up into a small room it wasn't very wide but long enough to include a living room, a dining table and a small kitchen. There were no divisions to create separate rooms although the kitchen was smaller and decorated differently.
"Have a seat." She offered stiffly, but making no move to sit herself.
"Thanks." He said sitting down. The awkward silence settled in again.
"You're wet." She stated.
"Just a little. Uh, sorry about the dripping."
"I'll take your coat." She said, taking a step closer. Jack handed it to her and she hung it over the radiator.
"I'll be back in a sec." She said, heading back out of the room with a quick glance at Jack. Almost immediately she came back with a towel for him and handed it to him to dry himself.
"Thanks."
"I'm just... gonna go get changed."
"Sure," said Jack as she left the room again. He sat there for a minute looking around the flat thinking it was 'cosy' to use a polite word when he remembered his promise to phone Daniel when he found her. He stood up to get his cell-phone out of his pocket and walked over the window, staring out into the rain as the phone rang. Knowing Daniel, he was probably working late in his office surrounded by his rocks again. How many times had Jack told him off about that? Mind you, Sam was just as bad with her do-hickey's. Or used to be.
"Hello?" Daniel's tired voice said at the other end.
"Hey Danny." He said.
"Jack! Did you find her?" He asked, suddenly sounding a lot more awake. Jack, still staring out into the rain, with his back to the door, didn't notice Sam come back in the room.
"Yeah Danny, I found her. No, she's fine. Really she's ok. Not too happy to see me though I think. Ok. Yep. Talk later." He said and sighed as he hung up. He turned around to see Sam leaning on the doorframe and looking at him.
"Sam..." he began, making a move towards her.
"Coffee?" she asked, interrupting him and moving into the kitchen. Jack stood still for a moment trying to understand what was going on behind those blue eyes before deciding to let it go.
"Yeah sure." He sighed. Other than the kettle boiling and the sound of coffee pouring there was silence between them.
Sam came back over to the sofa and handed him his mug. They didn't say anything for a while. Jack quietly sipped his coffee and looking at Sam, and Sam just stared into her coffee.
"Sam. What are you doing here?" Jack asked softly, putting his mug down.
"Excuse me?" She asked jerking her head up to look at him. "I live here Jack!" She exclaimed putting her mug down on the table and standing up. "What I want to know is what you're doing here!" She almost shouted. Jack also stood up.
"I came looking for YOU!" He exclaimed with the same volume of voice.
"Well did it ever occur to you that I didn't want to be found?"
"Sam, you can't just run away from your problems. They'll follow you."
"I can see that." She said. The hurt was evident in Jack's eyes and she had to look away, couldn't meet them. Sam welcomed the interruption of the phone ringing. She took two short strides and picked it up.
"Hello?" She asked she listened for a second and gave a quick glance over at Jack. "Yeah ok. Just a sec." She said and hung up the phone. She left the room calling over her shoulder to Jack.
"I have to go."
"Go? Where?"
"Not that it's any of your business..." she said, re-entering the room with her jacket on. "But, to work."
"To work?" he asked following her down her the hall.
"Yes Jack to work. You know, where people get paid to do a job. I help out in the pizza place when it gets busy."
"I see, so you've gone from a brilliant astrophysicist to a pizza worker. C'mon Sam! Would you come back with me, please, come back to the SGC where you belong."
Struggling to keep her temper Sam unlocked the door rather violently.
"I belong where I choose to be Jack. Don't ask me again." She said swinging the door open then paused.
"I'll probably be back late, you can crash on the sofa. But, I want you gone by tomorrow night ok?"
"Sam..."
"Ok?"
"Ok." Jack sighed and rested his head against the closed door, thinking about how badly he'd this messed up.
Jack heard the door open at about 12:15 and Sam's footsteps walking up the hall. She stopped before entering her room and Jack immediately closed his eyes as she tiptoed into the living room. She paused there for a second before turning and going back to her room. Jack opened his eyes and strained his ears to listen to her breathing. He didn't know when he fell asleep, but the next time he opened his eyes it was morning and Sam was sitting crossed legged in the chair opposite him, staring directly at him.
"Hurry up. I'm hungry." She said as soon as he sat up.
"Um...okay." Jack said not quite sure why he was hurrying. Nonetheless he was ready in two minutes. Sam led the way down the hall.
"Where are we going?" He asked as she opened the door.
"Breakfast." She said, determined not to say more than she had to. Jack stepped outside followed by Sam.
"At the pizza place? You have pizza for breakfast?" he asked amazed
"They do other stuff Jack" she said rolling her eyes as she locked the door.
The rain the night before had been followed by early morning frost consequently resulting in the stairs beginning dangerously icy. Sam reached out for the handrail but on her next step slipped. Sam caught onto the rail at the same time as Jack caught her under her arms.
"Woah." She said with a gasp. Then a few seconds later added, "I'm ok."
"Yeah." He replied but his arms didn't move from around her.
"Jack..."
"Yeah I know." He said, reluctantly withdrawing his arms from around her. They carried on to the front uneventfully and in silence.
"Hey Sam." A young man behind the counter greeted her as they entered. "Usual?"
"Hi Rick, yeah usual."
"And your friend..."
"Any chance of a black coffee?" Jack asked.
"Coming right up."
Jack sat down opposite Sam at a table near the door. They sat in silence as they waited for their orders.
"Sam, for what it's worth, I'm sorry about last night." Jack said softly, trying to catch her eye. " I didn't come here to fight with you."
"I'm sorry too." She answered looking down at the table.
Things went a little better after that.
"You're not eating?" She asked surprised as Rick placed his coffee down next to her large glass of milk and plate of food.
"No. I'm good." He said.
"Yeah," muttered Sam beneath her breath and looking away "Yeah you are." She forced a smile and pushed her plate forward.
"You want some of this?" she offered.
"Well, I wouldn't mind some bread." He said. They talked amiably until all the food was gone and then when they found there was nothing unimportant left to talk about. Only the important stuff. Rick collected the empty plate and they both stood up, walking outside. Once out of earshot of the pizza place Jack sighed and turned to Sam.
"Sam look," he began. "I'm going to go now, like you asked. But, I would really, really like it if you came back with me."
"Jack, I said stop asking me!"
"Why!?"
"Can't you just respect my decision!"
"No, I can't, because you don't really want it! You didn't 100% make this decision. Not by yourself! Someone said something didn't they? I know you don't want this!"
"You don't know what I want!"
"Then tell me! Because I'm damn well missing something! Whether you like it or not Sam I do know you. I know how you think and feel. And I know you wouldn't just choose to leave the SGC!"
"Well some thing's you don't choose Jack! Some things choose themselves and there's nothing you can do about them! And before you know it there's 101 things to do and you have to change your lifestyle, what you eat, what you do.... everything! Meanwhile everything's going so fast that you don't even know how you feel about it! One minute you're so happy and the next your remember something that makes you wanna curl up and cry!"
Jack was stunned by this burst of emotion from her. She was obviously very worked up about something.
"What is it Sam?" He said in a gentle voice. Please just tell me what's going on. Don't push me away."
"I can't..."
"Earth needs you Sam! It'll take us years to find anyone as remotely intelligent as you are and interested in saving the world. The SGC needs you. Sg-1 needs you. And... I need you.
Sam's heart thudded against her chest as it did summersaults. He'd actually said it, he needed her. And yet there was still something. It didn't make everything ok. She couldn't just kiss him and go back to normal. Jack was trying to look into her eyes, trying to see what she was thinking.
"Sam I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That sounds so meaningless compared to what I feel. The bottom line is I want you to be happy. So I'll do whatever you want me to do so that you can get back to normal. You want me to resign? I can do that. I can be gone before you get back. I don't want to be the reason that you feel you have to stay away from your friends, from a job you love, a job you're good at. I couldn't stand the thought of me being what's stopping you."
"It's not you Jack." "Then what is it Sam? Just tell me what to do."
Sam looked at him and she could see the love and regret shining in his eyes. He loved her. She knew that, and she knew he was sorry and that he wanted to get back together. Needed to get back together. She didn't want that to change. And some part of her thought that if she told him, his feelings would change for her. That if he knew she was pregnant with his child, he wouldn't love her anymore, he wouldn't need her. She knew it was irrational, she knew Jack wasn't like that. And yet that tiny nagging doubt wouldn't let her do it, wouldn't let her risk it.
Sam turned away as tears fell down her cheeks. She didn't know what she wanted any more, what she needed. She thought she just wanted him to apologise and to say that he loved and needed her, then everything would be ok. He'd done that now and still she just couldn't bring herself to tell him. It might change everything. Calling on every ounce of strength left in her body she answered.
"I...I. I'd like you to go." She lied. Jack sighed and dropped his head in defeat.
"Ok Sam, I'm going to go. But I'm going to wait for you, ok? Just in case you ever change your mind. I'm a phone call away. Just let me know if you want me."
Jack sat in the car and stared out at the rain, not really seeing it. She was the one thing that mattered to him more than anything else in the universe. And he was walking away from it. Man, he was such an idiot! But he could change it. He hadn't walked away yet.
Jack got out of the car and took a deep breath as he walked determinedly to the pizza place. He wasn't going to let her go, not after he'd come this far. He slowed as he approached, and paused in the doorway as he realised the two guys that worked there were in a middle of a conversation.
"....she shouldn't be letting herself get worked up. It's not good for either of them" "It's hardly her fault is it? And that guy coming isn't helping."
"All I'm saying is its not good for the baby."
"The baby? What baby?" Jack said, so surprised he forgot they didn't know he was there, but then again he no longer cared anyway.
"Uh oh."
"You couldn't keep you're big mouth shut could ya?"
"Sam's pregnant?" Jack persisted.
"I've an idea. If we close our eyes, then we never knew he was here and never knew he was listening." He said giving Jack a meaningful look.
Jack dashed up the stairs and knowing the door was still unlocked grabbed the handle and opened it.
"Sam!" he called jogging into the living room, she wasn't there. He swivelled round to the kitchen; also empty.
"Jack?" Sam said. She stood at the doorway to her bedroom only a few feet away from him. Her eyes were slightly puffy and he knew that she'd been crying.
"Sam, you're pregnant?"
Shocked, Sam looked away, wrapping her arms around herself. After a moment she began to turn away from him but Jack gently but firmly placed his hands on her arms, looking her in the eye.
"It's true?" he asked, in his heart already knowing the answer.
Sam nodded. "The guys told you?" She asked, still not looking up at him.
"Not exactly. I overheard." There was a long pause where neither of them said anything. Sam was staring at the floor, feeling Jack's eyes on her.
"I don't know what to say." She finally said, completely honestly.
"Sam why didn't you tell me? Did you think I'd love you any less? That you wouldn't still mean the world to me? That I wouldn't want to be with you."
Sam tried to look away but his searching eyes found hers and he could see everything without her saying a word. She nodded and tears spilled over her cheeks.
"Oh Sam," He said, pulling her into a deep embrace and she dissolved into tears, sobbing into his chest. Holding her tighter still Jack moved his arm across her back and gently stroked her hair.
"This is it isn't it. This is what made you leave the SGC. And what's been making you ill lately. God I'm so sorry Sam. I wish I'd been there when you found out."
"I thought you wouldn't want the baby" she whispered into his shoulder. "After Charlie..."
She pulled back looking into his eyes. "Jack?"
"Sam having a child again, with you. It would make me the happiest man alive." She smiled though her tears and he pulled her close again, his arms encircling her waist.
"You're the most important thing in my life Sam. I'm so sorry you had to carry this weight alone."
"It's ok Jack. I'm a strong person."
"I know you are. Incredibly strong, but will you let me take care of you? Please. Can I take you home?"
Sam wiped her eyes and nodded at him with a weak smile.
"Ok. Thank you. Let's get your stuff."
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