Life, the Universe, and Everything
Life, the Universe, and Everything
by salla
Title: Life, the Universe, and Everything
Author: salla
Email: sallaevilincarnate@yahoo.com
Category: Romance
Crossover: other (not listed)
Season: any Season
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: The mice were right.
Sequel to: N/A
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Cheyenne Mountain, Physics Lab
Sam sat at one of the lab tables with a yellow legal pad in front of her. On it was a long series of equations, the complicated type that seemed to involve more letters than numbers. She had been spending some off time trying to work out the exact mathimatical value of her attraction to the Colonel. To find out why she was obsessed with him and not, say, Teal'c.
She had assigned a letter value to all the different variable from looks to humor to the sweater factor (that special something that lets a man not only wear a sweater, but wear it well). She had then set up a scale from one to one hundred for each variable and had proceeded to rate her ideal man.
Then she added in outside factors, time of the year, time of the month, if any friends had just gotten married or had kids, if she had talked to her father recently. When she had values for all of this she worked out an equation to add it all together and then divide it by the number of sunspots on the day of her birth. This would give her a concrete number that represented her ideal mate.
When all of this was done, she quickly began substituting in the information for Jack. But, before she did the equation she also made one for Teal'c, General Hammond, Daniel and about five other men on base. Then she started at the bottom of her list and worked the equations.
Silar scored a 27, Davies a 39, the cute guard at the gate scored y+16x (she didn't really know him that well, so some of the data was incomeplete). Simmons got a 57, and Lt. Micheals from SG-8 got a 23. General Hammond was a 67, Teal'c was a 50, and Daniel was closest at 46. Finally, there was the Colonel's score. She checked it twice just to be sure. Yep, no doubt about it. Jack exactly matched her ideal. 42. Guess those mice really did know what they were talking about.
[{Y * X} + R] S = C
Y = sum of all variables that make up the potential mate - humor, sweater factor, family (his), friends, pets, sunspots X = sum of all variables that make up you - humor, time of the month, age, children, book you just read on empowerment, career, sunspots R = sum of all real world variables - family, friends, season, stray asteroids, current sunspots... S = number of sunspots on the day you were born C = compatibility, the closer this number is to 42, the better the match.
Never underestimate the power of sunspots.
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