The Change
by Rach L.
TITLE: The Change
AUTHOR: Rach L.
EMAIL: jiwon@sprint.ca
RATE: PG-13
SPOILER: Vague references to Singularity, Need, Legacy, and FIAD.
CATEGORY: Angst. (What else? *g*) D/S.
WARNINGS: m/f
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Stargatefan, Sandra's site, Statistic Outliers. Anywhere else, just ask.
SUMMARY: Sam is...angry.
DISCLAIMER: Characters are not mine, unfortunately. (Or, fortunately, depending on who you ask...) And please don't sue me. I don't even get paid to put myself in agony at 4 am to write this. Gee. *The lyrics are from the song "The Change" by Garth Brooks.
NOTE: I've sidetracked (as usual) and written this as a response to the lyric challenge for D/S list. Although my writing usually doesn't go beyond D/S friendship territory (this one does, a bit), if you have a shiver going down your spine at even imagining the two of them in the same scene, you could give it a try or just delete it. Really, I don't mind... *sigh* Thanks to kg for her great help, as always! :)
****
One hand,
Reaches out,
And pulls a lost soul from harm,
While a thousand more go unspoken for,
They say what good have you done,
By saving just this one,
It's like whispering a prayer,
In the fury of a storm.
****
This was a sick, twisted world. That was what it was
"Look, a little girl's going to die if we don't help her."
"Daniel," the Colonel closed his eyes briefly and whispered to his friend, obviously trying hard not to sound *too* angry, "There's nothing we can do. Not now, not when there're a swarm of goddamn Jaffa out there. If we don't haul our asses outta here right now at this moment, we're going to get them kicked."
"There has to be a way. There has to." In their hiding position behind a bush, Daniel stubbornly looked around for something--just what, Sam couldn't begin to guess--that could help them somehow.
Sam found herself sighing involuntarily. This was it. Yet another mission gone wrong. Yet another encounter with Heru'hur's Jaffa.
And yet another encounter with an unfortunate girl captured to be one of the hosts.
Oh, this was a sick, twisted world.
"We are unable to help her, DanielJackson. If she does not go through the Stargate, there will be others who will also suffer greatly," Teal'c's deep voice was laced with regret, but also a finality which allowed no room for denial.
And yes, this was an extremely regrettable situation. From a distance, Sam could see the terrified look on the girl's face. The group of Jaffa was now close to the 'Gate, leading her to the inevitable death--no, the life worse than death. The girl was someone's cherished daughter, someone's beloved. And soon, she'd be lost to them. And all they could do was just watch.
"You're right, Teal'c," Daniel whispered quietly after a few seconds of silence.
That was way too easy, Sam thought. Daniel never gave up like that. From her experience, she knew it required at least full ten minutes of persuasion--all right, argument--to change whatever Daniel had set his mind to. She'd been hoping that after the ten minutes, the Jaffa would be gone with the girl.
But this time, he gave up in less than two minutes. Oh, darn it. This couldn't be good.
She quietly moved close to him, touching his arm lightly. "Daniel, listen. Don't try--" She stopped as he raised his eyes to hers, and she saw an all-so-familiar look in his steely blue eyes. The determined--if not suicidal-- look on his face she'd seen so many times, like when he'd run to rescue Shyla and...
"Daniel, don't!" She frantically whispered, pulling him down with her. She tugged the end of Daniel's jacket, stopping him from grabbing his weapon to move out, no doubt to figure out something by himself.
Something that would get him killed.
Daniel looked at her, desperation crowding his face. "Sam--"
She shook her head no. No, she wouldn't let him to this. Don't do this to me, Daniel. No, Daniel, no.
She stared at him, silently accusing him for being so reckless. "You know better than this, Daniel."
They all knew better than this. That was the problem. What good would they have done by saving just one? It was like whispering a prayer in the fury of storm. Even if they dared to risk everything and save this girl, there would be another one, on another planet, in another mission, chosen for the same fate. They had to win the war; this battle was lost to them. They couldn't change the world. Not yet.
The thought sickened her, leaving her with palpable despair. But she held Daniel's arm tightly, praying that the Jaffa and the girl would be gone soon and they could just go home. Just go home.
Apparently though, Daniel wasn't ready to accept that.
He took her hand and clenched it so tightly that it hurt her. "Sam, we have to do something. Please."
Damn it, Daniel. She had to close her eyes--she couldn't bear feeling his tormented gaze on her face.
The Colonel turned to them and snarled, "Don't *even* think about it, Daniel." He threw a sideways glance at the Gate, where a Jaffa had just finished dialing.
The Colonel's voice was firm. "We'll just wait it out."
"Jack," Daniel persisted, "but, this is--"
Daniel's speech was cut short by a terrifying scream coming from the direction of 'Gate. With a horrible shiver, Sam turned to see the source of the ghastly sound. She saw something akin of flesh--a long, slender object--close to the 'Gate and the frenzied Jaffa yelling in disarray.
Wait.
Where was the girl?
God, oh god, no. She closed her eyes, realizing what the object was.
It was a leg missing its body.
She felt the nausea threatening to overwhelm her. The girl had thrown herself to the Gate stream as it opened.
God.
"Oh crap," the Colonel muttered angrily, averting his eyes from the scene. Teal'c watched solemnly as the confused Jaffa tried to collect themselves and leave.
Sam glanced at Daniel, knowing just what her friend would be feeling at this moment. He was starting at the scene with a blank look, his mouth tightly closed. He was motionless, almost lifeless, only the fury in his eyes betraying him.
"Alright," the Colonel spoke in a low voice as he stood up, seeing the last Jaffa disappear beyond the Gate Horizon. "Let's go home."
Sam calmed herself and collected her gear. Without a word Daniel stood up, also grabbing his gear. His expression was frighteningly unreadable.
"Daniel." the Colonel stopped and briefly put his hand on Daniel's shoulder, pain he felt at this situation written plainly across his face. "We can't save everyone."
"You're right, Jack." Without even glancing at his friend, Daniel brushed passed the Colonel and slowly walked toward the 'Gate. "But we could've saved this one, Jack."
There was no anger in his voice, no resignation. But its detached, matter-of-fact tone made Sam wince. Daniel didn't look back.
Sam just wished to go home and forget about this incident, erase the memory of the girl from the very root of her mind. Knowing the selfishness of her wish didn't ease her pain either. This was a sick, twisted world. And there was not much they could do to change it. No matter how hard Daniel tried.
Sam suddenly felt angry. Why did he have to be so reckless? Why was he just so careless with his life? Why did he have to be...so, so...Daniel?
Goddammit, it'd been so long, yet he was still the same.
***
And I hear them saying you'll never change things,
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing,
But it's not the world that I am changing,
I do this so this world will know,
That it will not change me,
***
"Hey."
Daniel looked up from this bowl of soup, and found Jack maneuvering his way through the crowded mess hall to his table, closely followed by Teal'c and Sam.
"Hi, Jack. Teal'c. Sam." He nodded at his friends, looking as nonchalant as possible.
Jack sat down across him, while Teal'c stood behind Jack with his usual grim expression. Sam was...well, Sam. Nowadays, he had this strange feeling in his throat whenever he saw her. A feeling that there was something left unsaid.
He just didn't know what.
Sam. Daniel suddenly noticed the absence of a smile on her face. It was a practiced habit for both of them to smile at each other instead of greeting with meaningless hey's and how-are-you's. However, she wasn't smiling right now, which made it impossible to read her. She was just...expressionless, sitting beside Jack.
Strange.
Jack took one look at his bowl and frowned. "You actually eating that stuff?"
Daniel zoomed out of his thoughts and into reality, looking down at the soup. "Well, it's not so...bad." He stirred the soup. "Once you get used to its taste."
Teal'c raised one eyebrow while Sam observed the chunks of chicken--or something that vaguely resembled it--floating in his soup with apparent fascination.
"Right. I'm sure." Jack stared at the soup with disgust. "One day I'm going to have to show you the wonder of eating right." He spoke in his usual quirky voice, pretending like things were just peachy. Unfortunately, Daniel knew Jack way too well to buy his act.
"Jack, just stop."
"Stop what?" Jack blinked in surprise.
In his own ears, his voice sound low, exhausted. "Stop walking on eggshells. I feel like I'm back in the loony bin again."
Daniel regretted that instantly, seeing the simultaneous flinches on his friends' faces. Even after all the apologies and it's-all-right's, they had avoided talking about it at all cost. Who could blame them? Daniel himself had no intention of going down the Schizophrenic (or the infection of Goa'uld killing device that made him 'look' like a schizophrenic...whatever) memory lane again.
"I'm sorry. I just..." Daniel took a deep breath and forced himself to smile, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I'm alright. I know I was...pushing it...back there on the planet. It's my fault. I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry," Jack spoke quietly, putting his hand down on the table.
What? Daniel was stunned. Jack wasn't a guy who apologized for many things. Especially not when he'd been doing his job.
That was just it. Daniel knew Jack was right on his own way. It would've been foolish to risk everything to save just one girl. He would take his chances, but he couldn't bring others down with him. He shouldn't, and wouldn't. They were too important to him. However, if the risk was only his, and his alone, he'd take his chance. Maybe he'd never change things. No matter what he did, it'd still be the same thing.
But at least he'd never give up.
"I'm sorry about the girl." Jack repeated again. He sounded genuine.
Teal'c spoke gravely, "I, too, am sorry, Daniel Jackson."
There *was* a faintly guilty look in Jack's eyes. Teal'c also looked remorseful -- as remorseful as he ever did, that was. And Sam...
Um, okay... She looked... He couldn't figure just what exactly her expression meant, but it suspiciously reminded him of her expression when one of her research team members had messed up with the calculation that she'd come up with after spending a week on it. She'd totaled the guy.
"Daniel," Sam spoke up, her expression grim.
Daniel winced. Her tone of voice was...frightening. "Uhh, yes?"
"Promise me," she leaned closed to the table, looking straight to his face, "Promise me that you will never, *ever* do it again."
"Do what?" He was puzzled.
"Risk your life like that on the planet!" she exclaimed angrily as she waved at the empty air, "You jeopardized everything. You could've gotten us killed. What were you thinking?"
Daniel was stumped. He'd expected this kind of reaction from Jack, not Sam. Actually, he'd thought Sam would be the one comforting him, offering kind, warm words.
This? This didn't feel comforting at all. He felt the lump in his throat again at seeing her face this close again. "I'm sorry. It was thoughtless of me."
"That's not what I asked for, Daniel," she cut him off sharply, "I just want you to promise me you'll never do that again. *What* were you thinking back there? You were ready to walk out there, and do something drastic again. Risking *your* life. And ours, too!" "
Okay, now this was a bit too much. "Wait a minute, Sam. I didn't actually do--"
"Gee, Carter," Jack quickly interrupted with a good-natured smile, sensing that this conversation was about to head toward a yelling contest, "That's what we've been telling him to do for ages. At least he only *thought* about doing something stupid this time. I'd say that's an improvement."
Daniel took a deep breath, trying to control anger and confusion. "Sam, I apologize if I acted irrationally. I'd never intentionally try to hurt you. I thought you knew that."
Sam looked frustrated. "I know you'll never *intentionally* try to hurt us. That's not the point." She stood up, grabbing the edge of the table tightly. "I'm asking you to promise that you will *not* risk your life like that again."
He felt his jaw clench. "You're asking the impossible, Sam. We take risks every single mission. In my judgement, saving that girl was worth risking my life."
Her eyes were storming with anger, frightening in its intensity, but he held his chin and met her glare. What was she thinking? Just what was she thinking? He frantically searched for a hint in her eyes, but there was only anger.
"Well, Daniel," Sam straightened herself, taking her hands from the table, "Your judgment is just plain *wrong*!" She turned away and stormed out from the room.
Okay, what was that?
For a few seconds, there was not a sound in the mess hall. Everyone in the mess hall was frozen, mouths hanging open. Even Teal'c was staring at the doorway through which Sam had disappeared, his face etched with surprise.
Daniel was thoroughly lost for words. He blinked and tried to speak, "I, I think she just insulted me."
Jack cleared his throat. "Yes, she did."
"In public."
"Yes, in public."
"And she was angry with me."
"Yep, that she was."
"She was *incredibly* angry with me."
"Yes, she was *incredibly* angry with you."
Daniel couldn't understand. "Why?"
"How should I know?" Jack shrugged. "It's *probably* your fault, though."
Some friend Jack was. "What?! Why?"
Jack was half grinning. "Who cares about why? I live by one motto: Don't ever anger any member of the opposite sex, let alone the one who could dismember you in ten seconds in about twenty different methods. What's important is that you now have a very angry and capable Major on your hands."
That was a scary thought. "Okay, what did I do? I don't even know why she's all...like that! I mean, I said I'm sorry. And she went on, asking not to risk my life. What's *that* supposed to mean?"
Teal'c spoke grimly, "Maybe you should communicate your thoughts with Major Carter again, DanielJackson."
"Oh, yeah," Jack piped in with a smile, "Then she'll crush you. Call me when you're doing the rebuttal with her. I wanna watch."
Now there was that funny feeling in this throat again.
He was in trouble.
***
This heart,
Still believes,
The love and mercy still exist,
While all the hatred rage and so many say,
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this,
It's like trying to stop a fire,
With the moisture from a kiss,
***
"Alright. Spit it out."
Oh geez. Sam had been hoping to avoid this.
She plastered the most innocent face she could muster and faced her friend, who was standing on her lab's doorway. "What are you talking about, Janet?"
"Ah, come on, Sam." Janet's rushed footsteps echoed in the quiet room. "Spill it."
"Everything in this room is highly sensitive." Sam pointed at the intricate lab equipment. "Spilling things here is not the best idea." She went back to her notes, pretending to concentrate on the present physics equation in front of her. She'd been working on this for hours. This should really work by now. But why wasn't it working, dammit?
"Oh, no, no, no. You're *not* getting away from this." Janet grinned slightly as she leaned on the table. "You know I'm going to make you talk one way or the other."
Janet just never gave up. Like the most of excellent doctors, Janet Fraiser had persistence mightier than iron--probably longer lasting than Naquadah. Sam put down her pen, frustrated. "Don't you have work to do? People to cure? Dying soldiers to save? Teams to give a check-up? Anything?"
Now Janet was grinning widely. "Oh, don't worry. No one's working in infirmary anyway. They're all talking about you slapping Daniel on the face."
She just *knew* there would be outrageous rumors. "I did *not* slap Daniel!"
"Just figure of speech." Janet shrugged. "Beside, I hear Daniel *looked* like he just got slapped."
Guilt silently crept into her mind. "Was Daniel..."
"Shocked? Oh yeah. Captain Smith from SG-4 gave us a very vivid description of The Mess Hall Incident: Major Carter edition."
"Oh god," Sam groaned, "It's already named?"
"Yes. Labeled and categorized."
This day just couldn't get better. Sam buried her face in her palms. "I don't wanna know."
Janet sat down on the chair beside Sam. "There was even a brief discussion on the possibility you were infected with some unknown virus. I told them the all the results were negative. You're in perfect health."
"For crying out loud," Sam yelled out, "There's *nothing* wrong with me."
Janet continued lightly, unfazed, "On the other hand, your people skills might need as much brushing as Colonel O'Neill's. You feeling okay?"
Sam winced. "Just...a bit tired."
Janet was now wearing a concerned look. "Do you feel like talking about it, or does Daniel deserve a kick for bothering you?"
She gave Janet an appreciative look. "Thanks, Janet. It's just..." She sighed. "Did you read the report from the last mission?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes. It must've been--" she seemed to look for the right word, "--traumatic."
There was only one word that could describe Sam's feeling now: frustrated. She spoke fast, feeling the repressed emotion spilling out, "All the while on the planet, he was completely focused on saving the girl. Didn't matter how risky or dangerous it was. He was just ready to walk out there and--"
"Wait, who?" Janet looked confused. "Daniel?"
Sam exclaimed, "Who else! He just never changes. He's still just so, so, reckless and rash. He just never...changes!"
"Sam," Janet spoke quietly, "You and I both know Daniel is not exactly who he used to be. He *has* changed."
Sam knew what Janet was talking about. It was true, yes, Daniel was no longer the Daniel she'd met on Abydos years ago. In the big ways, however, the important ways, he was still the same. "I know, but I don't mean the way he handles his sidearm. He's just so...stubborn. Always thinking about one thing. Always thinking he can change the world."
"I thought that's why we love Daniel." Janet smiled.
Sam felt exhausted. "I'm just tired, Janet. *He* makes me tired. You know, a long time ago I thought his passion, that intensity, would *have* to be rewarded. Then I was afraid he'd found out the world doesn't work that way. He found out, Janet. He found out. The one person he wanted to save, he couldn't."
Janet looked at her with a dawning comprehension. Sha're.
Sam was extremely tired.
"But he's still the same. And now, I'm just afraid it will get him killed one day. I can't take it any more. I can't see him taking risks without thinking of himself first."
Janet pulled her chair close to her. "Sam."
She stared back. There was something in Janet's tone that alarmed her. "What?"
"I remember having a similar conversation with Daniel about you."
"...me?" Suddenly Sam's heart skipped a beat.
"Yes. After you risked your life for Cassie."
Oh, god. "Janet--"
Janet continued, "In the end, though, Daniel said he understood. That you, in your heart, still believed that love and mercy exist. That it was why you couldn't leave Cassie."
Sam wanted to deny it. "This is different."
"No, it isn't. You guys have done this many, many times. Risking your lives to save others. The question is, why are you so upset, Sam? Think about it. You do it, Colonel O'Neill does it, even Teal'c does it too. But why are you upset at Daniel now?"
Sam tried to find the right answer, but realized the answer she found wasn't the one she could speak to her friend.
Janet stood up, giving her a warm smile.
"Just think about it, Sam."
***
I hear them saying you'll never change things,
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing,
But it's not the world that I am changing,
I do this so this world we know,
Never changes me,
***
This was a serious mistake. If he had any instinct about self-preservation, he wouldn't be standing at Sam's door at this hour, knocking.
Daniel tried to remember what he had rehearsed. He'd reasonably argue his point that what she'd insisted didn't make any sense, and ask her to tell him the reason why exactly this disturbed her so much. He sighed. He could understand countless different cultures and successfully communicated with aliens. But apparently, talking to Sam, who'd been his close friend for a long time now, scared the hell out of him. Some linguist he was.
He took a deep breath. This was his mission. He could do this. Really. Sam might be extremely angry with him, but Teal'c was always a good adviser. If Teal'c told him to talk with her, he should talk. She was never unreasonable, so Daniel supposed she wouldn't break his leg, although she was most definitely able to. Sam was never unreasonable.
Really?
This was a bad idea.
He was thinking about running down the corridor when the door opened and revealed a very flushed Sam in a nightgown. She must've been in the shower when he knocked. Her hair was wet, glistening brightly against the gloomy corridor light. Her nightgown was...
Nightgown? Night, uh, gown? There was the lump in his throat.
Oh, get a grip, Daniel.
"Um, hi, Sam. Hello." He awkwardly stood there, trying to fake a smile.
She didn't say anything. He had hoped for a smile in return, but no, she just stared at him with a stony expression for a second, then moved aside so he could come in.
Daniel helplessly drifted into the apartment, knowing this could be his Lion's Den. At least this case the lion was... He swallowed hard. Oh well, if he was going to die, he'd give at least a good fight before he went. But then again, he forgot what he was supposed to say.
For the life of God, he couldn't remember any of it.
"Alright, Sam." He tried to avoid looking directly at Sam, who just closed the door and turned to him. Since he couldn't remember anything he'd rehearsed, he resorted to shameless begging. "I'm sorry. I have no idea why you are so...mad at me, but I'm sorry. Just don't be...uh, mad at me...?"
She just said one word without looking at him, "Okay."
"Okay?" Daniel stared back. "Just...uh, okay?"
"Okay," she repeated. "I'm not mad. So it's okay. You can go home now. It's late." She moved away to the kitchen.
"Wait a minute. Sam." Daniel hurriedly followed her into the kitchen. "Obviously it's not okay. I mean, you're upset for some reason."
Sam calmly put a tea bag into a mug and poured hot water over it. "I'm not upset. Sorry about yelling out like that."
She was still not looking at him. All right. This would go on pretty high on the weird-o-meter. "Sam, what did you mean by--" he coughed, "--promising not to risk my life again?"
For the first time, Sam looked directly into his eyes. This time, there was something in her eyes that... Was it...panic? But before he had time to figure out what it was, she turned to her mug, stirring slowly with a spoon. "I was out of line. I'm sorry, Daniel."
"No," he persisted, "You meant something by it. What did you mean?" The way she'd said it--he'd been thinking about it over and over again--struck him as significant, something consequential.
He just couldn't figure out what though.
"It's nothing." She purposefully moved around him to get to the living room. Her movement reminded him that of a figure skater: very graceful and annoyingly fast.
He followed her out, now plagued by the feeling that he *had* to know. "It's not nothing, Sam. I don't want this to...hang...between us. If I did something wrong, just tell me."
She stopped on her tracks and put her mug down on the table. It made a loud thud. "You really want to know?"
He had a bad feeling about this. Should he back out? "Of course I do, Sam."
Sometime he hated himself.
She marched toward him, frighteningly fast. "I meant it was very *stupid* of you to be so reckless with your life back there. Do you happen to have nine lives? Been a cat in your past life? Or better yet, own a sarcophagus that we don't know about? Not that it'd do any good. You'd go Mr. Hyde on us and tell me I don't know what love is. Gee, thanks, Daniel. Thanks very much."
"Stop, Sam! Just stop for a second!" He was flushed. She was talking about the Sarcophagus incident, which they never, ever brought out again. She'd been quick to forgive him, and Daniel had always been grateful, never once doubting her forgiveness.
Then what was this? Why was she throwing his words back at him? He was confused. And yes, frightened. "You're being unfair. You know that."
She only shook her head. "I know I'm being unfair. You know what, though, Daniel? The world is unfair. You just can't change the world with your sheer will."
"I'm not trying to change the world, Sam," he whispered quietly. "But I don't want the world to change me."
There was an awkward silence. He felt like suffocating.
"You're always like that, Daniel." She moved out from his touch, turning her face away from him, so he couldn't see her expression. "You're always ready to risk everything. No matter what the consequence might be."
Why was she doing this to him? "God, Sam. I just didn't want an innocent girl to die. Was that too much to ask? I don't care if *I* die in the process."
"Damn it, Daniel!" She turned around to him, screaming. "But *I* don't want you to die! *I* care if you risk your life like that, dammit! Don't you get it? Don't you see?"
The shock he felt wasn't from seeing her reddened face or her furious look. It was her trembling voice. And the meaning behind her words.
Oh. He realized. Oh.
"Daniel, does it at least matter to you that whenever you try to do something so reckless, my heart just stops? It's this sick feeling. It hurts. It doesn't matter I was trained to be detached. I'm scared, Daniel. I'm scared of losing you every time we're out there."
He wanted to tell her. He wanted to speak to her. But he couldn't. That funny feeling in his throat was just overwhelming. He was just frozen there, unable to move, unable to speak.
Then she murmured very quietly, "And for some really wicked, twisted reason, that's why I love you."
Daniel felt like something was choking him, throttling him.
She turned around again, her body shaking slightly. "So really, maybe I brought this upon myself. So...it's all right. It's okay. It's okay now." Her voice was almost inaudible now. What was happening? Why was she...
She was slipping away. From him.
He wouldn't let that happen. He had to tell her.
"Sam," a hoarse voice that barely resembled his voice spoke, "I'm afraid, too."
Sam turned to him with her stained face, startled.
He forced himself to speak, repressing the lump in his throat. "I'm afraid to admit my feeling to someone. I'm afraid."
And because of that, he had almost let the world win. But he wouldn't let hat happen now.
The lump in his throat was gone.
She was looking at him with an unfathomable expression. She was just standing there in front of him, frozen.
He felt the urge to explain himself all of a sudden. "See, she's my closest friend, but I was sure she was, well, in love with my other best friend. I thought I didn't care about that. But there was something I couldn't say. I didn't know what though until she...yelled at me. Quite loud at that. And...I can't find the words right now. I don't think I'm qualified to be a linguist any more." Ain't that the truth. "I'm sorry, Sam. But I can't possibly promise you--"
"Shut up."
He blinked. "What?"
"Shut up, Daniel."
Even before he realized it, she was an inch away from his face, and he felt something brushing across his lips. Something soft and gentle. Her lips.
Oh. There was the smile he'd been longing to see.
Oh.
"Daniel?" she whispered softly.
"Yeah?"
"Don't ever change."
He smiled. "I promise."
And just like that, he knew he'd won the fight.
The world wouldn't change him.
***
As long as one heart still holds on,
Then hope is never really gone,
What I do is so,
This world will know,
That it will not change me.
***
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Rach L.