Whither thou goest
by Wonderland
Summary: I, like Jack, didn't understand Daniel's actions. So I tried to explain to myself.
Category: Missing Scene/Epilogue
Episode Related: 310 Forever in a Day
Season: Season 3
Pairing: Daniel/Sha're, Daniel/other
Rating: 13+
Warnings: violence
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 12/16/05
"You know, if I live to be a hundred, I'm never gonna understand Daniel." I prowled around Carter's lab. I usually did my best thinking in Daniel's office, but I had gotten the hint after Daniel rapidly departed the gateroom. Well, that and Daniel saying something like, "Leave me the hell alone." I'm not completely dense. But I still can't understand. "How, tell me how, can he do that so soon? His wife's not even cold and he's laughing it up with some...woman."
"O'Neill, you have no right to judge Daniel Jackson's behavior."
I whirled around. "Come on, Teal'c, you have to admit that was downright bizarre. Even for Daniel." Carter looked like she was about to explode. "You got something to say, Carter?"
"Permission to speak freely, sir."
"Granted."
She leaped up. "Teal'c's absolutely right. You, of all people, should know better than to judge how someone does, or doesn't, handle their grief. At least, he didn't try to eat his gun." I froze. She had a full head of steam now; an Army of Jaffa couldn't have stopped her. "I may be stepping out of line, sir, but you are, too. You should know what Daniel's feeling, you could try to be a little more sympathetic."
"I find it hard to be sympathetic to a man who could forget his wife so easily."
"Daniel Jackson has not forgotten Sha're. Nor will he ever. You have misjudged his actions."
"Then why? Tell me why he got so hung up on this woman? And let me just insert here, Destroyer of Worlds. Lest we forget."
"Because Daniel Jackson believed he could save her. When he had failed to save Sha're."
I feel like an idiot. Even more than I usually do. "You mean he looked at her and saw..?"
"He saw someone who was consumed by a monster against her will. Made her do things she would never have done." Carter filled in the blanks.
Oh, yeah, getting it now. "When I stopped him in the hall, tried to get him to see reason, he never even flinched when I said he'd be her first victim."
"He didn't believe Ke'ra would hurt him. She loved him, sir. And we forced her to forget that. What does that make us?"
Okay, really getting it now. And really, really feeling guilty. "Carter, we were just trying to protect Daniel."
"And I appreciate that." We all jumped. Daniel was standing in the door. I know my face had to be a picture of guilt. How much had he heard? And how much bowing and scraping was I gonna have to do now? "I know that you all were just trying to help. Thank you for that. But I have to figure this out myself. I have to learn how to live this new life. Alone."
"No. Not alone." I wanted to clear the air before he retreated completely. I know what it's like, what he's like. He's been building this wall since Sha're died. "You're not doing this by yourself. You're gonna be dragging the three of us everywhere. Because where you go, we go."
"Jack, I don't know where this is going. Where I'm going."
"Doesn't matter." I grab his shoulders, shake him till he looks up at me. "I happen to be an excellent traveling companion. Carter can read the map and Teal'c will...shoot things."
He almost smiled. "And what about you?"
"Me? Why, Daniel, I'm here to keep you on the straight and narrow. Out of the ditches, between the lines, on the up and up..."
"I get it, Jack. I hope you packed plenty of snacks, I'm not sure how long this journey will last." His eyes were suddenly very bright.
I couldn't resist hugging him. And was glad that he let me. "That's okay, Daniel, for you we've got all the time in the world." I let him pull away, step back. And I have to get a smile out of him, before he forgets how. "So, do you think, on this journey, we might, I don't know, pass a lake?"
He quirks his eyebrow, but plays along. "Possibly. Why?"
"Oh, I thought I might pack a fishing pole. You never know when you're gonna get lucky."
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