The Blood of Sokar
The Blood of Sokar
by Allison West
Title: The Blood of Sokar
Author: Allison West
Email: awest@pcpostal.com
Category: Hurt/Comfort, MissingScene/Epilogue
Episode related: 222 Out of mind, 301 Into the fire, 312 Jolinars Memories 1, 313 The Devil you know 2
Season: Season 3
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary: The hallucinations caused by the Blood of Sokar bring up some painful memories for Jack.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
You can also read this story on my website: http://samandjack.tvheaven.com/blood.html
The gentle humming of the engines could be heard as the Teltak flew hyperspace on its way to Earth. It's passenger were all bruised and tired from their battle. They had just defeated Sokar and destroyed the moon of Netu. They had defied the odds once again and safely recovered Selmak and Jacob. It hadn't been easy, they had escaped by the skin of their teeth, alive for another day. The mission had taken its toll on their bodies, but also on their minds.
Jack sat on the floor leaning against the wall, his legs crossed in front of him. Everyone else was asleep, curled up in different corners of the ship. He was tired, but unable to find the bliss of sleep that he so desperately wanted. The effects of the powerful narcotic that Sokar had given him were still in his system, making him light headed and abject. He was amazed that they had made it back alive. He glanced over to the side of the ship where Jacob lay. The older man was sleeping soundly, a testament to all the shit he had been through in the past few weeks. Jack felt relieved that they had got him back. They were all safe and Sam had her dad back.
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. It was only for a few seconds before he opened his eyes again, startled and angry with himself. A series of images flashed through his mind and shook him, opening up a tunnel for all those old feelings of anger and regression to flood back in. He could see Charlie's body lying there on the floor. There was blood everywhere and it had turned the cream coloured carpet a deep scarlet. By his son's side lay the gun. His gun. The remnants of the narcotic were causing the painful memories to flash through his consciousness. He hated it. It had taken so long to get those memories down out of the light of day, and now here they were rearing their ugly heads. He could feel the dark place calling again, and he desperately didn't want to go back there. He cursed himself under his breath telling himself that this was neither the time nor the place. He sat there wrestling with his own head, trying to block out the pain.
In another corner of the ship Sam sat quietly, unable to sleep. Her eyes drifted around the small peltak, glancing briefly at her father to make sure he was okay. Another glace showed her that Daniel and Martouf were fast asleep, and that Teal'c was sitting in a deep state of kel'no'reem. She was happy to see that they were all looking much better. However, as her gaze wandered to the figure of her CO sitting on the other side of the room, a trouble expression on his face, she felt a sudden sense of worry. She continued to observe him, noting the pained look in his eyes and the despondent demeanour of his pose. He sat with his back to the wall, looking like a lifeless doll. She watched him as he sat there unaware of her gaze. He let his head drop back and his eyes close for a few seconds, only to be jolted open again. Sam regarded him seriously. What was going on in his mind at that second? It was obvious that he appeared distressed by something. He ran his hands through his hair then covered his eyes with his palm, shaking his head. She could see his lips moving but was unable to hear his words. His manner made him appear as if he was chastising himself. He looked agitated and angry. Seeing him so distressed was rather disconcerting. Sam had never seen him in such a state before. She hauled herself to her feet and walked quietly over to him so as not to wake the others.
He heard light footsteps coming towards him and then felt the warmth of someone sitting down beside him. He looked up, it was Sam. She had sat down against the wall next to him, her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms around them. "Wanna talk about it?", she said quietly, looking at him. "Talk about what, Carter?", he said in a tired voice. "About what's bothering you?", she said. "Nothing's bothering me, I'm fine. My leg just hurts, that's all". He was hiding from whatever it was that was paining him, this time behind the superficial staff wound that grazed his leg. She knew him well enough that that was what he did when things got hard to deal with, especially feelings. He was hiding from his pain and covering it up with that way of the warrior crap. The man had too much bravado for his own good. Didn't he ever just know when to stop and let someone in? He was afraid, that much she knew. But they'd been through so much together and she knew deep down that she could get to him, to make him open up to her. "You're a poor liar, sir", she smiled. She wasn't going to let him off that easy. "What makes you think I'm lying?", he asked. "Because I've been watching you for the last ten minutes and I can tell that something's bothering you". "You've been watching me?", he raised an eyebrow as he studied her face. Sam mentally cursed herself for letting out that little secret. She often did like to watch him when he was unaware of it, and lately she had been catching herself doing it a lot more than she should. "I can never sleep on cargo ships", she joked lamely with a smile. The joke made him smile slightly before he returned his gaze to the floor. It was obvious to Sam that he didn't plan on sharing anything with her. This set her mind into action, contemplating what could possibly be disturbing him. There wasn't anything drastically different about this mission compared to all the other horrors they had been through. Why, it was only a few months ago that they had suffered at the hands of Hathor. By now they had become accustomed to dealing with System Lords and the tortures of the Goa'uld.
It was at that moment that a memory of her own flashed through her mind. It was a memory of her mother, the last time she had seen her alive. She winced at the image and it then became apparent to her that what Jack was now suffering was something much the same as her; some distant memory from the past. "What did he show you that hurts so much?", she asked tentatively, her voice barely audible. "What do you think, Carter?", he said sombrely, glancing up at her briefly before returning his eyes to the floor. It could have been one in a million things. She knew that Jack had been through a lot in his life. The black ops missions, the wars, the deaths of many friends...the death of his son. 'Oh god', she thought as it suddenly hit her. 'How could I have been so stupid. Apophis used Charlie against him'.
The thought shook her. She couldn't believe that something as painful as that could have been used against him. Not once did he show that it was effecting him during their mission. He had been the strong and fearless leader that they all expected. But now in the dead on night, floating through space at twice the speed of light with nobody watching, he let everything go and let the thoughts creep into his consciousness again. "Charlie", she whispered. He gave a slight nod but continued to sit with his eyes downcast to the floor. She swallowed hard. What she knew of Jack's son was very little. He never talked about him, and all that she had heard had come from Daniel. She knew that Charlie's death had been the catalyst for his marriage's breakup and that it was the reason he had been assigned to Cheyenne Mountain the first day the Stargate was opened.
She knew not what to say to him. There was nothing that she could say that would make him feel better, or make him forget the memories that Apophis had brought to the surface. Instead, she reached down and clasped his hand in her own. Soothing him with touch instead of words. It was a simple gesture. He looked up then and into her eyes, finding truth and comfort there. She offered him a smile to let him know that it was going to be alright. He returned her soft smile with his own, then closed his eyes and leaned back, content with her comforting touch. Earth was still six hours away, but the journey wouldn't be so long anymore now that he didn't have to travel it alone.
The End.
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