Phoenix
Phoenix
She watched.
It had been six years since Sha'uri's death, and although Daniel Jackson had mourned and moved on, he had never forgotten her. Now, the thought of her brought a smile to his face, rather than tears to his eyes.
During the day.
His sleep was haunted by nightmares, painful memories of what had been in life, and sadistic extrapolations of what could have been in a perfect Dystopia. He was assaulted by both his memory and his imagination. Nearly every morning, he awoke with his pillow soaked with tears.
A soft, pulsating light caressed his face as he slept. It emanated from a being that hovered over Daniel like a guardian angel, and seemed to be composed of strands of glowing white. One strand reached out, and tenderly - if such a word can apply to a creature of light - touched his cheek.
Daniel woke with a start, squinted against the bright light, and groped for his glasses. The light-creature pulled back and seemed about to flee, then stopped. It seemed to take a deep breath - was it trembling? - and began to coalesce into a human figure.
"Oma Desala? Wh-what are you doing here?" Daniel asked, still groggy. He recognized that this was an Ascended being, even without his glasses.
But when he put his glasses on and his vision sharpened, he found himself staring into a very familiar face. A face that was not Oma Desala's. He snapped wide awake.
The Ascended one spoke with a voice that caused Daniel both agony and joy.
"I am not Oma Desala, my Dan-yel."
Time seemed to stop. Daniel's heartbeat thundered in his ears as he whispered, "Sha'uri!" He moved to touch her hair, her face... and his hand passed right through her as if she were nothing but air. A cold knife plunged into his heart, and a cry of pain escaped his lips. He stared at her in torment, and both were at a loss for words.
Finally, Daniel asked in a soft, shaky voice, "Why didn't you come before? It's been six years..."
"I let you think I was dead because I didn't want you to know that I had Ascended. I know you, my Dan-yel. It would have torn you apart to realize that I was cut off from you forever. You would never have gotten over it. But my death, I knew you could recover from. I haven't come since you descended because I..." Sha'uri choked back tears. "I didn't see the point, for much the same reason. I came tonight because I couldn't bear to watch you from afar any longer." She tilted her head to one side as something he'd said sank in. "But... it has been only three years since..." she trailed off in confusion.
Three years? Daniel remembered with a jolt where he had been three years ago. "We were together when I Ascended, weren't we?" A tear slid down his cheek.
Sha'uri looked confused. "Of course we were. Don't you remember? I was there to greet you when you joined us... don't you remember?" Her voice rose in desperation.
Daniel shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sha'uri. Ever since I returned, I've been unable to remember anything of that time. It took me a long time just to remember who I had been before."
"You must remember! We were so happy, Dan-yel!"; Sha'uri cried despairingly.
"I'm afraid I can't. I don't even know why I returned in the first place."
"And you cannot Ascend again?"
"I have so much to do here.."
After a long, painful silence, Sha'uri's face brightened. "Then I also will return to human life, and we can spend the rest of our lives together."
"No!" Daniel reached out as if to physically stop her. "You won't remember anything, not of your life, not of your Ascension, nothing!" More softly, he pleaded, "I can't let you do that to yourself because of me."
"But I cannot exist without you, my Dan-yel!"
She vanished, her anguished cry ringing in Daniel's ears for the remainder of the night.
***
Oma Desala stared Sha'uri in the eye, metaphorically speaking. "Are you sure you wish to do this?"
Sha'uri did not flinch beneath her scrutiny. "I am sure. My place is with Dan-yel."
"Very well."
***
Early the next morning, Doctor Janet Frasier called Daniel to the infirmary. He knew why even before she told him about the young woman who had suddenly appeared, naked and amnesiac, on one of the beds.
"I warned her..." Daniel murmured, then went to see her.
She was clad in set of off-duty fatigues - the smallest size available, but still far too big for her. She did not speak, but merely stared as Daniel sat on the bed beside her.
"I know you don't remember me," Daniel said, his voice catching in his throat, "but I'm Daniel Jackson. You are - were - are my wife, Sha'uri."
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