A Tick's Life
A Tick's Life
by Kelly Mullins
TITLE: A Tick's Life
AUTHOR: Kelly Mullins
EMAIL: kelly.mullins@verizon.net
CATEGORY: s/j romance humor
SPOILERS: Mostly general knowledge of the show
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: m/f relationship
SUMMARY: Are there Ticks on other planets?
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well I had nothing better to do with my time when I finished Sebnee le Wahdee so I wrote this short, stupid, pointless thing after getting back from... the Doctor
"SG-1 to the infirmary, SG-1 to the infirmary."
"What'd we do now?" Daniel asked no one in particular, true he had been having quite a lot of muscle pain recently but Janet had just been writing it off as a job hazard.
"Do you know what this is about Colonel?"
"Haven't got a clue Carter, I've been good lately, kept my distance from the natives." Teal'c joined the duo. "Only thing wrong with me lately are these damned headaches."
"Daniel Jackson has been expierencing pain as well." They joined Daniel infront of Dr. Fraiser.
"Urine samples?" Daniel, O'Neill and Carter said in unison, Teal'c just looked confused.
"Fill these up first thing in the morning, then bring them to me." She handed everyone their own plastic bags with collection cups. "If you can't get them to be, freeze 'em."
"We have to do this for four days?" Carter, being the smart one counted the number of cups in her bag.
"Yes, it seems that we have over looked some major illnesses that several base employees have been showing symptoms for...we've found no other explanation."
"Are you saying we're sick Doc?"
"Colonel I'm not saying anything, we're just getting suspicous with all of these medical problems seemingly healthy adults are having."
"What ever happened to the 'gate travel may be hazdordous to you health' sign?"
"Colonel that's another reason we're doing these tests. You've been having headaches for quite some time, Daniel's muscle pain is getting worse and Sam has costalcondritis. Teal'c is the only one who isn't complaining about something."
"Costalcon what?"
"It's an inflamation of the ribs." Sam supplied to her overly confused commander.
"How long have you had this, and why wasn't I told?"
"Two weeks Sir, but it only hurts when I do things like move and breathe."
"That's it Carter, no more off world action for you...or the rest of us until these test results get back." SG-1 trodded off grumbling about the upcoming four days of urine collection.
Two weeks later after 14 days of paperwork, research, and meditating SG-1 was called to the infirmary... again.
"Lyme's disease." Janet tossed the pile of folders onto her desk.
"Lyme's disease?"
"Yes, all of you, except Teal'c, there's no telling when or where you got it, and if Teal'c was infected his symboite probably could have fought it off, if he was infected at all."
"So we're all out of commision?"
"For a couple of months yes, but after that I don't see why all of you shouldn't make a full recovery."
"How did we all get it?"
"From a deer tick, probably off world somewhere you might have walked through a whole bunch of them, they look like little specks of dirt on your skin. It's very rare for groups of peole to get it though."
"This can't be uh sexually transmitted can it? Not that I'm uh, you know, but just good knowlege to have." Sam, Daniel, and Janet all made a whole-hearted attempt at conceating their amuesment, mostly failing, while Teal'c just looked confused.
"No Colonel, unless you're planning on giving birth before your medication is through with you won't be passing it on. Now if no one has anymore questions for me please get out of my office so I can decide on which medication to treat you with."
"So, anybody else wonder whay all of those tests Doc's been doing all these years never picked this up?" O'Neill asked as he and the rest of SG-1, minus Teal'c, drowned their sorrows in pie.
"janet didn't even know she should be looking for Lyme's."
"But she does all of that poking, idon't think there's a place on my body, inside or out, that she hasn't done something to." Carter looked the Colonel up and down before making a sound and averting her eyes. "Hey Carter, no giggeling."
"Oh no Sir, of course not."
"Uh Jack, what is it exactly we're supposed to do for the next few months?"
"Oh we'll think of something." He said looking Carter up and down smiling.
Three weeks later O'Neill walked into the lab where the Naquadh reactor was stored.
"Hey Major."
"Uh hey Colonel?" She looked up from her notes.
"Carter I'm bored." He took the stool out from under the table and sat next to where she stood.
"Well sir unless you've gotten a degree in physics that I don't know about I don't think there's very much you can do here."
"Sorry, I'm just a stupid old soldier."
"Well you know what Sir, I'm bored too." She threw down the pencil she was writing with. "What do you want to do?"
"Well we could go down to the infirmary and let Doc start our meds early."
"Or..."
"Or we could go get a bite to eat." So Sam and Jack took a nice little walk up to the commisay.
"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" Daniel joined them at the table.
"Eating, what do you usually do in the commisary?"
"Well uh...eat, I guess."
"Good, then go get yourself a slice of pie."
"What I ment was why aren't you in the infirmary?"
"What do you mean, we don't have to be down there for at least another hour."
"Guys it's Wednesday."
"Oops, Doc's torture day, come on Carter we'd better get down thre before she sends the MP's."
"They will become romantically involved." Teal'c said watching the Colonel drag the Major out, Daniel just looked confused.
Dr. Janet Fraiser was not a happy camper when her most difficult patient arrived with her best friend in tow.
"Sorry we're late Doc, Daniel's fault."
"If it's Daniel's fault the why was he here an hour ago, on time?"
"He was just uh...trying to make us look bad."
"Save it colonel." She said as she started drawing blood from his arm. When she was done and had moved on to Sam he said.
"My PIC line's been iching a lot lately, is it supposed to do that?"
"Yeah Janet, mine has too." Sam piped up.
"Daniel complained about his as well. That iching is just your skin attempting to close up around the line." Both looked down at their arms as Janet hooked their PIC lines up for their IV medication. "What ever you don't scratch. Now sit back, relax and call me when you're done."
"This bites Major." Jack said throwing himself up against the bed he was seated on.
"Yup, sir I still don't understand how three members of SG-1 got infected and yet no members of any other team tested positive for Lyme's."
"Probably some scheme cooked up by Fraiser to see our lovely faces every day."
"She does see us almost every day."
"Well I mean with out us being on death's door step, although I think she enjoys that too."
"I can't wait to go off world again, I think spending too much time on Earth makes you clausterphobic."
"I'm with you on that one Carter." He looked up at the all too familiar ceiling tiles. "I'm bored."
"I think you covered that one earlier."
"Just making sure everyone knows."
"Colonel you've been telling anyone who will listen to you about ho9w mean Janet's been to you for the last few weeks adn about how little there is to do around here. But obviously you haven't paid much attention to your desk or you'd see there's plenty to do."
"Hey Carter, you wanna rent a movie or something?"
"Excuse me Sir?"
"Well we're both bored, there's nothing to do around here so obviously our only solution is to get out of here."
"Why not, Daniel and Teal'c have probably found something interesting to do."
"Carter what Daniel finds interesting other people rarely even understand and Teal'c leaving tonight with SG-3."
"Oh yeah, forgot."
"So that leaves you and me, two overworked...although lately way underworked, underpaid officers in the US Airforce who seem to have more in common than just this exciting disease."
They both sat back and enjoied the not so peacefukl ambience of Dr. Fraiser's infirmary.
The end...hey I know it wasn't much but hey I'm sick of this whole being sick thing and I figured I might as well bring my favourite not-exactly-real people along for the ride.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Kelly Mullins
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