Redemption of Fear
Redemption of Fear
by Kate
TITLE: Redemption of Fear
AUTHOR: Kate
EMAIL: sorsha16@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Sam & Jack, Alternate Universe
SPOILERS: First Commandment-or you won't nkow who Jonas is
SEASON / SEQUEL: thinkin about it...maybe I 'll write a sequal
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: male/female relationship, domestic abuse, Couple of swear words but seriously sad in certain places...
SUMMARY: Alternate reality where Sam is a civie married to Jonas,Jack is the General and his son is alive (but wife isn't). Somethings going on with Sam that jack is worried about. He has to help her through it and her marriage ends up broken
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: this one's for Tate cause you just kept pushin for it, ummm...this is a severely depressing peice of work for any wives who have been eithor mentally or physically battered. My heart is with all you women (and men) who've gone through situations like this one. I'm in love with this story and I hope everyone likes it. It was kind of emotionally draining, especially when Sam kinda goes over it a bit. Tell me if you liked it. Please...I really need some feedback on this one.
The feeling of fear was too deep in her to answer with anger. She whispered only in acceptance. Her voice gentle, consoling.
"Did you hear me Samantha?" his growl hit her ears and she nearly flinched. Her eyes fell to the floor of their bedroom and she nodded.
"Yes Jonas, I heard you perfectly clear." she lifted her crystal blues to meet his eyes. Defiance lit them but the fire died when she saw his hardened gaze.
"Why didn't you tell me where you were going?" her eyes slipped closed when his thick fingers clasped around her biceps. She could feel the sting where he was pressing an already tender bruise.
"I was just picking up groceries." her voice dropped even lower.
"You didn't tell me." he growled. "We have to be at the General's in an hour."
Sam cocked her head to the side and pulled from his grasp. "I'll be ready in a few minutes."
He watched her step away and she could feel his eyes bore into her back. She stopped when he brushed quickly past her and pulled a dress from her closet. She watched in anger as he tossed it to the bed. The black silk rumpled in a soft heap on the bed.
"That one's fine, hurry up."
Sam Hanson pulled a long thick breath as her husband stepped from the room and slammed her bedroom door closed. She could feel the clench of her fists as her nails bit the skin of her palms. She licked her lips and swallowed hard. Two days. In two days he went back on a mission with SG-10 and she would be safe in her lab. Wondering at physics without the fear of her husband clamoring for space in her mind.
Why didn't she just leave?
Countless times Janet had asked her that. Countless times she'd had no sound answer. Why not...she was afraid. What would happen if she left Jonas Hanson? He would hunt her down. Threatened that every time she spoke of leaving. He'd threaten her then hurt her. Not only mentally, but also physically.
She had the bruises and pain to prove it.
Frazier had urged her to go to the General. She refused every time. Fear at the problems it would cause. At what she would lose. Fear that she would be hurt so deeply it was unfixable.
Even the General had been voicing his concern. He'd asked her continually of her health and of Hanson's actions. She refused to answer on some occasions. Not wanting a friend have to deal with her life. He would speak softly to her and smile to her in the lab. Quiet and soft support.
"Samantha!" she snapped to the bed and reached for the dress. Her hands shaking as she hurried to dress.
He gazed across the room, searching over his home. He had most of the main staff in his home for the annual Christmas party. Jack took a long drink and looked to the door. His eyes widened slightly as Jonas Hanson walked in, his wife at his side. Jack watched Sam Hanson softly. His gaze lit gently as she pulled of her her coat and handed it over to Kawalski. She wore a long black silk number with a wrap. He wondered at the way she held the wrap to her shoulders. His home was sweltering with so many people, why was she still clutching it to her. General O'Neill arched a brow and stepped to them.
"Major Hanson, Doctor Hanson." he smiled and nodded. Jack watched them both silently. Jonas nodded with respect and smiled.
"Evening General." his eyes flashed to his wife and she pulled a breath.
"General O'Neill." For a moment Jack just caught her eyes. He nodded slowly and smiled softly.
They held a gaze for a moment and he saw comfort flash through her blues. But only for a moment before she glanced warily back to her husband. Jack looked back to the Major and smiled.
"Jonas, Kawalski said he had to talk to you," he nodded as Hanson agreed and stepped to the other soldier across the room. Without a thought of his wife. Only to furthering his career by hob knobbing with the other Air Force officers.
Jack looked back to the young doctor and smiled, "How are you Samantha?"
She took the drink he offered with a smile and a shaking hand. With a glance to Hanson, Jack reached out and took her hand with care. Her fingers steadied after a moment and she took a deep breath.
"Charlie is in his room, he's waiting to see you." Jack spoke gently.
Sam grinned immediately when she heard him speak of his son. The young boy had been having problems ever since Sara had died and Sam was trying to help him through it. She was no psychologist but she hoped she was helping. The General seemed thankful for it too. He'd been more closed off since his wife had died in the car accident and she tried desperately to help him overcome his guilt.
She had met Jack O'Neill in her early twenties. He'd been under the command of her father and quickly rising in the military world. Nothing had ever come between them in a romantic manner but they had always served to calm each other. She had been Sara's bridesmaid. Planned O'Neill's own reception. She'd been there when Charlie was born, been there when Sara had died. Jack had been exceptional when she had married Jonas and been in full support of her branching out. Yet she knew, he was just looking for evidence that Jonas was hurting her. Searching for his chance to be her savior.
She didn't want him in that position.
"Shouldn't he be in bed already?" she smiled and took a drink from her wineglass.
"Well," he grinned and led her up the stairs, "He knew you were coming, and it's Christmas."
"Mmmmm." her tone fluttered with laughter
"Samantha, he adores you."
Jack watched quietly as his friend whispered a bedtime story to his son. She reminded him a lot of Sara and that hurt him terribly, and yet...she was so different.
So...he didn't even understand it.
O'Neill's deep brown eyes widened as he noticed something in the darkened shadows. As she reached forward her silken shawl fell from her arms and he nearly let out a growl in anger. A large bruise discolored her upper arms. The telltale mark of fingers wrapped along her bicep. The purple, blue, brown, and yellow marked her usually pale skin and he took a fast step into the room then stopped, not wanting to upset his child.
With a deep breath he held his stance and swallowed his anger.
For now.
She stepped from the boy's room with a small smile. Charles O'Neill had the same twisted sense of humor as his father. His eyes would light in humor the same way Jack's did. She shook her head in amusement and stopped abruptly as O'Neill grabbed her around the waist and tugged her to the landing of the stairs, away from his son's room.
"How long Samantha?" she nearly flinched at the growl. A tone far too well known.
"What?" she tried to step back but his fingers curled at her waist.
"How long has he been hurting you?"
Her breath snapped and she could feel her hand shake as he asked her, his eyes drilling into her. She shook her head and stepped back, eyes darting away. Her breath faltered, her heart raced.
"I..."she went to step down the stairs but he stopped her.
"Sam, how long?" he touched her arm, slowly moving the silk from the bruise.
She winced in pain as he moved it.
"And why didn't you tell me?" his eyes carried pain and he searched her face. He could see her own pain and fear dart through her gaze.
"I'm scared Jack."
He shook his head and let his fingers trail the bruise. His face fell and he pulled her close, felt her breath shudder heavy through her chest. Jack lifted a hand to settle in her hair.
"You don't have to be."
She moaned and pulled away quickly. "I should go back down stairs."
"Sam-" she flew down his stairwell before he could reach her.
Before he could be her savior.
The shadows were a comfort and she shifted gently, barely moving in her space. Her eyes darted across the room among the shadows and then she slipped them closed, wondering at the evening. She winced as Jonas' arm clinched tighter around her waist, As if he knew she were thinking about him. Her mind swept over the evening's events and how much trouble she'd got him in. Sam wondered at what the General would do. If he would go after Jonas. What was she supposed to do? Sam pulled a long uncomfortable breath and tried to shift again. Jonas just tightened his grip a bit more. She licked her lips and bit back the sob that accompanied the tears that stung her eyes.
"Oh God..."her murmur was soft. A soft prayer sent into the shadows...for someone.
Jack watched in disgust as SG-10 made its way to the Gate. He respected the men in that team, save for one. His eyes fell on Hanson and growled in discontent.
"Jack, what crawled up your ass?" Kawalski turned a chair and sat comfortably in the briefing room. He watched as O'Neill moved from the window and stepped to him.
"I hate him." Jack shook his head and tossed a file across the table. Spilling out the paperwork.
"Hanson?" Charles nodded and stared wide-eyed at his friend and commander. "Everybody does, he's got a good job, great career ahead, a sexy wife."
"And he beats her." Jack supplied with a glare.
"You mean Samantha?" Kawalski stood quickly, eyes wide.
Jack nodded and dropped to a chair. His eyes slipped closed and his head dropped.
"Jesus, how do you know?" Charlie settled his hands on his hips.
"I saw a few bruises, called her on it." the General shook his head, "What am I supposed to do Kawalski, he's one of my soldiers."
"He's beating her Jack, you know exactly what to do."
"She doesn't want help." O'Neill snapped in return.
"Or is she afraid of help?" his friend asked.
"Charlie, right now. I think she's afraid of everything."
She nearly dropped the artifact from the last planet visited when she heard his voice.
"So, how long are you gonna keep running from this?" his voice was calm yet sincere.
Without answering she turned to him. Setting down the artifact she stood and stepped to the computer.
"Sam?" he took a step in front of her and she nearly ran into his chest. Sam stopped and took a deep breath.
"Excuse me General." Her voice was even but she could feel it beginning to crack.
"Look at me." he ordered.
"I'm not one of your soldiers Jack." she snapped back, her eyes lifted and she pulled a fast breath.
"You can talk back to me but not him." he settled his hands to his hips.
"You don't hit." she answered.
"No," he shook his head and took her hand, "I don't."
Her breath caught and she watched his fingers twine in hers. Her eyes rose to meet his and she just watched her for a few minutes.
"Let me help you." His tone honest and clear.
"I don't want him to hurt you too." she whispered.
"I can handle Jonas." he countered.
"But," her eyes fell, "I can't"
He found a mutual friend soon enough. Jack walked quickly into the infirmary and dropped to a free chair before Frasier's desk. She looked up slowly and smiled, her suit jacket flung to the chair behind her. Janet Fraiser had been a friend for a good while. Her engagement to Charles Kawalsky had brought her to light. She had worked at Cedars-Sinai for the better part of seven years before Jack had begged her to be CMO at the SGC. Even if she wasn't military.
"Hey General," she set down her papers with a smile, "why don't you have a seat."
He grinned from the chair and nodded, "I need to talk to you Jan."
She watched with a breath as his eyes darkened and the smile fell. Janet leaned back in her chair and pulled a long slow breath. Her gaze held his and she nodded.
"I know."
Jack cocked his head to the side, "What?"
"She told me that you talked to her, and Charles told me." She tucked a chocolate lock behind her ear.
"Kawalsky tells ya everything doesn't he?" he smiled weakly.
"He damn well better if he plans on marrying me." she nodded softly then rose to her filing cabinet.
He watched as she pulled a thick file and settled it to her desk. Janet leaned casually on the corner of her desk and shifted the manila folder towards him.
"She wants you to see this." her voice quiet and somber.
"Samantha?" he questioned.
Janet just nodded and he shifted the folder to his lap then opened it with a slow hand and a calculated breath.
His eyes fell over the pictures and his mind played with the reality of what he was seeing. Each photo in the file was of soft skin bruised or battered. A few bruises he'd seen but only attributed to accidental clumsiness. He skimmed over them while his anger simmered hotter. Every picture took him closer to the breaking point of his anger and he took deeper breaths to steady himself. He steeled himself when he found a picture of her as bruised mottled purple and brown against her creamy pale skin.
"I..."his eyes lifted and Jack shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me Jan?"
Guilt filled her glistening eyes and she shook her head. Frasier dropped to her own chair and lifted a hand to her temple.
"I wanted to General but," her eyes lifted, "she begged me not to and then threw doctor/patient privilege in my face."
His eyes bore into her and he watched as her emotions flashed. He saw the self-loathing and guilt in her browns and he also caught the fear for her friend.
"I'm so sorry." her tone was barely audible and he nodded, glancing back to the file. Countless physical reports and mental check up reports filled the file. Notes on a slowly depressive decline of character. Fear combined with anger and self-hate. Medical reports pertaining to minor internal bleeding and broken bones. Several fractures she'd had in her hand. Jack lifted that paper and caught eyes with the doctor.
"He squeezes her hands, just hard enough to hurt her and get his point across."
"That's sick." he murmured and she nodded in return, hatred and disgust smoldered between glances.
After he sifted through everything he stood and handed it back," I want a copy of everything in that folder on my desk by morning. And check her left upper arm."
Janet tossed him a knowing look and shook her head in discouragement.
"You need to help her sir." Her voice pleading.
"I can only do so much Janet, she needs to help herself."
He didn't announce his entrance into her lab but instead moved quickly to her. If he'd let her know he was there, she would have fled from him, and herself.
"Sam." She jumped as he held her arms softly, turning her as he spoke her name.
She didn't try to retreat this time but instead stood her ground and stared quietly at him. Her eyes were wide in both pain and fear, so hurt it nearly broke him.
"Janet showed you?" her whisper was so quiet, more like a breath. He watched her gaze fall quickly down.
He didn't answer her. He knew nothing he could say in that moment could give her the hope she so desperately needed. And any words of support or love on his part would be futile. With a quick breath and plaintive eyes he pulled her into a tight embrace and just held her. He felt her shudder against him and heard a soft sob fall from her lips. Jack held her and felt the hot tears stain his shirt as she gripped his chest. He knew the pain she felt as a visceral thing that stood there with them. A constant companion that she'd not be rid of for a very long time. Jack rocked her a bit and kissed her hair, brushing the blond locks away from her forehead.
"Let it out." His lips pressed to her forehead and he held her tighter, "Just let it all go Sam."
She sobbed again and he felt her shake against him, her face buried in his chest. He felt her warm breath against him as she calmed a bit. Her breathing slowly steadied but she kept her face hidden away from him.
Jack swallowed and pulled her chin up with a knuckle. Her eyes were bloodshot, dark rings below them. Red and puffy from her impromptu tears. Her lungs were still shuddering in labored breathing as he studied her.
"You don't deserve this pain." he himself barely heard his words.
"What am I supposed to do?" she snapped quickly out of fear.
O'Neill lifted his hands to her face and held her gaze forcefully. She didn't dare look at him and closed her eyes.
"Please?" he whispered. Begging her too look at him.
Slowly her blues fluttered back open and he nodded. She studied his own look and tried to pull away but he held her there. He watched as her mouth opened to speak but nothing came forward.
"Go ahead Sam..."
She sniffled a bit and let out a large breath. Her eyes met his and he watched as new tears rolled down her cheeks, silent tears this time. Quietly she straightened and licked her lips.
"I..."
"Say it." he murmured.
She paused and shook her head; her eyes slipped back closed. His hands fell down her neck and he held her softly. Jack placed a soft kiss to her cheek and took a breath.
"I want to leave him." Her tone was near silent but she'd said it. Had admitted to herself what she both wanted and needed. He studied her as she lifted a hand and brushed it against his face.
"And I want..."
"Yes?" he whispered.
"To go home with you."
For a solitary moment he was in shock. His eyes widened and his fingers tightened against her skin. Jack shook his head, "Are you sure?"
Sam closed her eyes and nodded, "Just take me home with you."
He felt like crap.
It would be a full two more days before Jonas Hanson would be back from P3X-967 and he planned to be damn well ready for it. He studied the copy of Samantha's medical file, which Janet had handed over to him that morning. His eyes kept falling over those bruises. He'd studied the actual paperwork to the point that he knew every ounce of pain Hanson had submitted upon his wife.
That still wasn't the only thing making him feel bad.
Jack looked out over the darkened bedroom and lowered the lamp light to the next setting down. His eyes settled on her as she slept softly in his bed. In his shirt and shorts.
His bed.
His clothes.
He'd slept with her and it wasn't helping the situation at all. He felt guilty and angry with both himself and Hanson. Jack rubbed his eyes and put down the file. He really did hate himself. No wonder Kawalsky had said he was of the "emotionally wounded". He just couldn't leave it alone. He really couldn't though.
Not when he cared this much. And she was being hurt this badly.
He'd asked Janet and Charles to watch his son. Charlie O'Neill was in the safe hands of his best friend and doctor. He hadn't wanted the young boy to go through this when tensions and emotions were high.
His eyes opened again and were met with a pair of vivid blues staring softly from his bed.
"You look like you regret it." Her voice was pained as she tucked his pillow farther beneath her head.
Jack licked his lips; "I took advantage of the situation."
She snorted and lifted herself up into a sitting position against the headboard, "And I didn't?"
O'Neill watched her sift through her soft blond hair. Her fingers trailed down her neck and he had the brief recollection of doing the same sometime that night before. He watched as she looked to her hands and stretched her fingers.
"Do they hurt?" he whispered.
"What?" her eyes snapped up and she looked to him in confusion.
Slowly he lifted a picture of her bruised and broken hands then handed over the medical paperwork.
"You can't hit him back when he brakes your hands."
Her tears fell again and it only served to make him feel worse. Jack shook his head and moved to sit opposite her on the bed. She lifted the folder and looked from it to him, then dropped it to the covers.
"They ache when it's cold." he watched her study her hands. Knowing full well she was in a bit of shock.
"I can't hold a glass for very long without it slipping. They just go numb and I..." she trailed off and he reached out to hold them. Instead of allowing it she pulled them closer to her, eyes lingering on the tapered fingers.
"It hurts when he does it, and I don't know how to make him stop..." he could tell she wasn't coherent to anything and it only served to worry him.
"Sam." He reached for her but she pulled back in fear.
"I try to make him stop Jack, he won't and it hurts." she was crying again, "it hurts so bad."
O'Neill finally took hold of both her hands and folded them in his own.
"Shhh...Sam, he won't hurt them anymore." He squeezed them softly; "I have them now."
She looked up and with a breath finally realized his presence. She shook her head and leaned into him. O'Neill tugged her in a hug; "I have you now."
She smiled weakly over the table at him then studied his own fingers as they massaged over her knuckles and joints. Falling gently over her fingertips and skin. He rubbed her palms quietly and she closed her eyes. With a deep breath she stopped him then took his gaze. Sam licked her lips and lifted her hands. He watched in slight worry and wonder and she studied the wedding band on her finger and then slipped it off. She looked it over for a moment then set it to his kitchen table. He smiled quietly as she settled her hands back in his.
"Leaving him will hurt you." he whispered to her and rubbed his thumb along the bend of her thumb.
"Not as much as staying would." Her eyes met his over they table and he stopped what he was doing. He held her fingers loosely.
"I'm sorry I took advantage of your situation last night." he was honest.
She seemed to gaze at him a moment, "I'm not."
His browns were huge as he looked at her. A weak smile tinged his lips and she blushed softly. Her glance cast down and she rubbed the tingle in her hands for a moment. She felt him move closer then pull her face up.
"I've never made you afraid of me have I?" insecurity tinged his tone and her eyes snapped. She shook her head in a vehement 'no'.
"Good." he murmured and brushed her cheekbone with his knuckles. "I don't know how he can hurt you." He shook his head and studied her face. Lounging in the color of her eyes as they flashed in the lights. He watched her breathe and smile softly.
Sam leaned in slowly and kissed him gently. Her eyes slipped closed and she fell into him. Her head meeting a resting place on his shoulder. He tucked one hand against her back and the other twined between her hands. He kissed her hair and her ear then settled her against him.
"I won't hurt you Sam." he whispered in a hush.
"I know."
Emotions conflicted in her and she closed her eyes, trying to push them away. SG-10 had just returned and after their initial medical examinations Jonas Hanson was to be summoned to the General's office. She tried to breathe deeply but every intake of air was unfulfilling. Sam looked up from the chair to find O'Neill stalking back and forth across his office. Kawalsky stood leaning into the corner, his eyes angry, but gentle smile supportive. Two other military police officers stood at ease towards the doorway.
"Jack, you're making me nervous." she whispered quietly. He looked down and immediately stopped his pacing.
She felt so torn in those few moments of silence. On one hand she felt free and maybe somewhat hopeful. On the other, she felt like an adulterating wife.
Funny how both were true to her situation.
And yet, she knew this was none of her fault. She'd realized that somewhere along the way. She knew exactly how she'd figured it out when he knelt before her chair and squeezed a free hand.
"You don't have to be here."
How was it that he'd become a savior even when she'd tried not to have one?
Fate, maybe.
"I need to do this." she answered truthfully.
"Jack"
They all snapped when Kawalsky said is name. For as he spoke Hanson made his entrance. Jonas stared confused to all three of them and he finally resorted to looking at his wife.
"Samantha, what's going on here?" menacing laced his tone and for the first time O'Neill realized the threat in the other man's eyes. He'd seen greed, and anger in those orbs but never such powerful threat.
"They know Jonas." Her voice was stronger than she'd expected it would be.
"They don't know anything." He murmured, a small smile gracing her lips.
"Yes Jonas," she stepped back away from him and a slight bit closer to O'Neill. Kawalsky moved close to Hanson.
"They do."
The surprise in the soldier's eyes was priceless, as the MP's grasped his arms. He struggled a bit then settled, turning a glance to O'Neill.
"General, ell me you don't believe anything she says, she's only trying to cause trouble here." Hanson snapped then glared to Sam.
With an arched brow Jack nodded and the security officers began rattling off his rights. He slowly lifted Sam's medical file and showed Hanson. "Not only do we have her medical files, we have her testimony."
"Yeah Hanson," he nodded and stepped closer, "I do believe her."
Fire burned in the man's eyes and he let forth one last struggle before conceding to the soldiers flanking him.
"You slut." he spat at her as he was walked out. Sam flinched a bit and swallowed hard. O'Neill took two quick steps to the man and landed a blow to his stomach before anyone could react. Sam winced and covered her eyes, turning away. Charles lay a gentle hand on her shoulder as O'Neill hit her husband twice more.
Her breath fluttered as she heard them take Hanson down the hall and she flinched when Jack reached for her. She fell heavy into his arms and he held her tightly.
She needed him then.
The court martial lasted a bit longer than she'd hoped but he was served with what he deserved. Dishonorable discharge, three to six years of incarceration at least, no probation. The lawyers Jack had gotten had been perfect. They were a couple of military lawyers from D.C. and they'd been supportive of her the entire time.
Her world had settled a bit. The finalities of her divorce were coming through and she was already back to being a Carter instead of a Hanson. Jack joked that the name suited her better. She had been honestly wondering at her life and whether it was really getting better or if it was just an illusion. That had been when Janet had called her into her office on base.
She was pregnant.
It really came as no surprise; she'd had an idea of it before. Still, it disconcerted her a bit.
She was only two and a half months along. Which meant, very plainly, she didn't know whose baby it was. It could have been Jonas', who had made love to her when he wanted. Not caring of her needs or desires. Or it could have been Jack's.
She ached hoping it was his, she wasn't sure how he would deal if it were Hanson's child. He had taken it better when she'd told him. His eyes had lit initially and then she'd told him of her confusion over the father.
His eyes caught hers over the table and he shook his head. She watched his eyes drop slowly. Then his hand had risen to scratch he back of his neck.
"Say something Jack." She pleaded gently. "Please"
His gaze lifted back to her and he swallowed. "You're sure." She nodded slowly in return.
"Then...I guess, we're having a baby." he murmured, His eyes met hers honestly. The disappointment or anger she expected wasn't there. Just open honesty and support.
"It might be Jonas' baby Jack." she shook her head, "That won't bother you?"
He pulled a long deep breath and blinked. His eyes rose back to hers. "We agreed that that man would no longer be a part of your life. Which means," he took another breath, "This baby is ours."
"But if-"
"No," he lifted a hand and held her gaze, "This is my baby Sam. I'll raise it, feed it."
"We'll raise it." she countered.
"You know what I meant." he spoke gently.
"Yeah," her hand brushed his cheek, "I do."
"Then," he grinned and kissed her hair. He rose to go check on his son, "I guess we're having a baby."
Sam laughed gently and turned to him as he stopped at the stairs, "Like you'll have anything to do with the 'having' part."
"Nah, I'll let you handle that."
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Kate
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Redemption of Fear - Part 1
by KateSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis