Purple Nitches
Purple Nitches
by Jolinar@Carter
Title: Purple Nitches
Author: Jolinar@Carter
Email: terylrotheryfan@sg1fans.net
Category: Challenge, Humor
Pairing: other pairing
Season: 4
This story is a sequel to: None
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: adultthemes, xover, language, mfrelationship,
Challenge: 1,070
Crossover: Boy Meets World
Summary: Crossover with Boy Meets World: Cory and Shawn baking pancakes? Topanga mad? Eric, sorry, Plays With Squirrels staring at pictures of his long lost sister naked? Jack called 'Plays With Pudding Cups?' Carter fainting, getting stabbed, pregnant and giving birth to purple kids? Yep, just another normal day at Cheyenne Mtn!
Status: Completed
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
Author's Notes: This was written a long long time ago! Thanks to Carter_Greyson_Red_Lightspeed_Rescue_Ranger_102 for reading it through!
Eric Matthews stared down at the huge hole his sister Morgan had fallen in to. He decided to go after her. "This is my impression of Morgan, look Cory! I'm Morgan, I'm gonna fall down this big hole in the ground!" He did exactly that.
"That boy is so stupid!" Rachel thought aloud.
"Cory, we should go after them!" Topanga told her husband.
"Stupid old Eric! Always getting us in to trouble!" Cory yelled as he looked down at the hole.
"Actually Core, this time it was Morgan." Shawn reminded him, thinking it was unfair to blame it on Eric.
"Oh. Habit." Cory stepped forward.
"Okay, let's go then!" Jack jumped in with Rachel.
"Mr. Matthews, where are you off to?" George Feeny asked his neighbour, and student.
"In to that big whole in the ground. Eric and Morgan fell in, and Jack and Rachel went after them." Topanga explained.
"Thirteen year old girls, all ways so stupid. She had to look didn't she?" Cory thought, angrily.
"Please, let me come with you. I have nothing else to do!" Feeny begged
"This is your captain speaking, all flights for the big hole in the ground are departing now!" Cory announced.
"Here goes!" Topanga, Cory, Mr. Feeny and Shawn fell in to the great hole. They landed in a tunnel. They followed it through, and found Morgan, Eric, Jack and Rachel. Morgan had broken her leg on her descent, and Eric was carrying her. They had just set off on their trek down the tunnel, when they bumped in to a huge honking rat! Morgan and Rachel screamed, and the gang just carried on, with Mr. Feeny clinging to Cory like a little girl!
"Where are we?"
"Open that hatch there!"
"Okay!" Shawn opened the hatch, and jumped out, then took Morgan from Eric, and took her in his arms. Eric and the others jumped out, and they turned around to find a small blonde woman walking in. She froze.
"Who are you?"
"Who are you?"
"I asked first. If you don't identify yourselves, I'll have to..." A voice came from the hall.
"Oh For Cryin' Out Loud! Carter, you haven't gone loopy on us again have you? Because it may well be time for you to stop eating chocolate if it does this to ya!" A man exclaimed.
"No Colonel O'Neill! Come in and see for yourself." The woman replied. O'Neill walked in, and stood next to her. He reached for the alarm, but she stopped him.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"Squirrels, Plays With." Eric said.
"Your name is Plays With Squirrels?" Carter asked, as she stared at Eric.
"No, he's really called Eric, but he's a bit loopy, and thick. He married a moose." Cory explained. "I'm Cory Matthews, his brother, and this is my sister Morgan, and my best friend Shawn Hunter, my wife Topanga Matthews, and..." Cory began.
"Rachel." Rachel said.
"Jack." Said Jack.
"George Feeny." Feeny shook Carter, the woman's hand.
"Isn't that weird Sam? I'm Jack and I'm good looking too!" Jack asked, staring at the other Jack.
"Second that sir!" Carter agreed.
"Carter! We're on duty!" O'Neill whispered to her.
"Morgan is it?" Carter asked.
"Yes."
"What happened to your leg?"
"She broke it, we think." Shawn replied, as he looked at the beautiful woman.
"Well, we'd better get her to the infirmary." Sam told them.
"Inwormary? Is that a place where loads of worms life?" Eric asked her.
"No, it's the in-firm-ary. You take the ill or injured there Mr. Matthews." Carter replied.
"Mr. Squirrels, but please, call me Plays With, Miss..." Eric didn't catch her name.
"Carter,Major DoctorSamantha Carter." She said.
"Major Doctor Carter? Medical Doctor?" Rachel inquired.
"No, I'm a Doctor of Theoretical Astrophysics. Head of my field." She answered.
"I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, now you folks had better come with me. Give the little lady to Major Carter, and we'll be going." O'Neill ordered.
"Sir, we can't arrest them for unauthorised entry, they're too young." Sam reminded him.
"It's still procedure, even with teens and kids, you know that." Carter started to argue.
"How old are you?" Jack asked Eric.
"How old are you?" Eric repeated the question to Jack.
"I asked first." Jack snapped.
"I'm nineteen." Eric told him.
"Okay, how old is she?"
"Thirteen. I'm not a little lady." Morgan moaned.
"What ever. I think we ought to talk on our way to the infirmary." O'Neill suggested.
"Thank you sir." Carter smiled.
"I have to go do something, okay?"
"What? You hardly do anything around here!" Carter teased.
"Paperwork." O'Neill left the room, and Carter fainted. Eric and Jack knelt down by her side.
"Major Doctor, are you all right ma'am?" Jack asked.
"Huh?" Sam woke up. "Yeah, he never does paper work that's all, Mulder."
"You banged your head on the trip to the ground." A tall man and a really tall man walked in just then.
"Mulder, shut it!" Sam snapped.
"Sam, I think you're gonna want to..." The shorter man of the two paused when he saw the young people in her office, and his friend on the floor. "What happened?"
"She fainted and banged her head sir." Rachel replied.
"Oh. Teal'C take her to the infirmary." Teal'C scooped his friend up off of the floor, and headed for the infirmary.
"Who are you?"
"Plays With Squirrels, Cory, Shawn, Rachel, Morgan, Jack, Topanga and Mr. Feeny." Eric introduced them.
"Okay, come to the infirmary, and we'll talk. Usually I'd sound the alarm, but it looks like Miss..."
"Matthews." Topanga told him.
"Matthews is hurt." The gang walked down the long, long, long, very, very, very dull corridor, in to the infirmary. Where they were met by CMO Frasier.
"Hey Daniel. I've fixed Sam's head up, and she's in the side room out there. She'll be fine in a couple of days. Who are these people then?"
"I'll explain what happened to you all in a minute, but my best friend's sister is really heavy!" Shawn told her, and Teal'C took Morgan from his arms, and put her down on a bed.
"Okay, I'll fix that up. Daniel, are any of the others hurt?"
"I think my wife had a big bang to the head." Cory told her, as he looked over his shoulder at the tall blonde woman who was playing with something big and gold that was on her hand. Eric was trying to chase his tail, even though he didn't have one.
"No, no! Don't touch that honey, we don't know what it is!" Cory warned her.
"It's harmless. She doesn't know how to use it." Janet told him. Then she looked over at Eric, with a frown. "Is he okay?"
"Who? The one chasing his tail like a dog?" Shawn asked.
"Yes, that's the guy." Janet replied.
"He's always like that Doctor." Morgan replied, as she was being treated.
"Oh. Right. So, what brings you here?"
"Err...we fell in to this big hole, back at my place, in my parent's front yard, and we fell in a tunnel, and that's how my wife and sister got hurt. We walked along the tunnel, and we found a hatch. Shawn opened it, and we fell out. We were in what looked like a lab. Major Carter saw us, and asked who we were. There was a voice from down the corridor. It was a Colonel, and he said 'Oh For Cryin' Out Loud! Carter, have you gone loopy on us again? Now might be a good time to stop with the chocolate, if it makes you like this'...or something like that, and she fainted when he said he had paperwork to do, and she called Jack here Mulder." Cory explained.
"I see. Okay, Daniel, why don't you take them to General Hammond?"
"Okay. Want Miss and Mrs. Matthews to stay in here?" Daniel asked.
"Yes. Mr. Squirrels, can I run some tests on you please?" Janet asked him.
"I don't know, can you?" He asked her.
"Mr. Feeny, can I? I might be able to see why he's so...like this, and help him." Janet asked the short grey man.
"Sure." Feeny replied. Daniel led them out, leaving Morgan, Topanga and Eric with Janet.
"So, Mrs Matthews, can you come over here please?" Janet called.
"No! I like this gold thingy! It's pretty!" Topanga laughed.
"Topanga! Just let the Doctor do her job!" Morgan shouted at her brother's wife. Topanga got on to the bed.
"Thank you Miss Matthews."
"Morgan, Doctor, I'm called Morgan."
"Well thank you...Morgan. You know, I have a daughter about your age here, would you like to meet her later?" Jan inquired.
"Sure. Eric, stop before you get dizzy!"
"Okay, but I was having fun!" Eric moaned.
"Some Doctors think he's like this because he hit himself with a spade, and then stuck a crayon through his ear." Morgan told the Doctor.
"Oh. I have to go and report to my boss about Major Carter, so I'll be back in a minute, okay?" Morgan nodded. Eric sat down by Topanga, and started fiddling with her hair.
"You like?" He asked her, as he handed her something reflective to look in to. She looked at her hairstyle, and laughed.
"Yep. Mr. Matthews, you have to lie down now!" Topanga ordered. Eric lay down, in the bed she had just gotten out of. She found a syringe and three tubes marked 'PL3 678.' She went out to Sam's room, and gave her the shot.
"Thank you Doctor Topanga!" Carter thanked her. (She was still suffering from the bonk to the head, as was 'Doctor Topanga.') Toppie (as she was sometimes called) ran out, and got in to the bed next to Eric's when she heard Janet come back.
"I'm back. I'm just going to check on Major Carter, okay?" Janet went in to Sam's room, and went over to her side.
"Hey Sam. Wait...what's my sample of the alien virus from PL3 678 doing in here? It's empty! You have a puncture wound!" Janet ran outside in to the main infirmary. "Who did it?"
"What?" Eric asked, looking up from his amazing (he thought so anyway) hands.
"Someone injected Major Carter with a deadly virus. Who was it? I need to know, because I need to know how many containers you used." Janet was dead serious.
"Doc, the only person who went in Sam's room was Tope." Morgan told her, truthfully.
"I did go in, and I only used the one. Whoa!" Tope assured her.
"What?" The petite Doctor asked her, in an angry tone.
"I have really weird knuckles!"
"Oh. You're sure you only gave her one?"
"Or three..." Topanga revealed the other empty containers from under her pillow.
"Three? Damn it!"
"She'll be okay won't she?" Asked Eric, or 'Mr Squirrels.'
Janet picked up the phone quickly, and pressed 12. "Colonel, it's me, alert General Hammond, get Teal'C to call Jacob, and get down here A.S.A.P!" She yelled. The Doctor then sounded the alarm. "Morgan honey, make sure Topanga doesn't move. Make sure Plays With doesn't either."
Janet ran in to Sam's room and joined Jack, Teal'C, Daniel, Hammond and the gang. "What's up with her Doc?"
"Topanga injected her with a deadly virus. All three samples of it that I'd collected." Janet replied, as she checked Sam out.
"My wife did this?" Cory asked.
"Yes Cory, and I'm very angry. Sir, we have to get a team to PL3 678." Janet whispered the planet part to Hammond.
"I will. Daniel, call for SG-4 to go on an emergency mission to get another sample." Danny nodded and left.
"What can you do for her?" Rachel asked.
"Not much with out that sample. I need that to find a cure. I think General Hammond, that we should order a quarantine field around this bed. No one comes in except me and my team." Janet recommended.
"If it's necessary." Hammond agreed. He spoke over the PA system: "This is General Hammond, we need Feretti, Peterson and Baker to the infirmary side room!" The three men came running in a minute later.
"Sir?" Feretti asked.
"I need you to arrange for a quarantine field to be set up around Major Carter, and then I want you, Baker and Peterson to guard this room. Only the Doctor and her team will be allowed in, without her authorisation."
"Yes sir! Baker, go see Doctor Thompson and set it up! Peterson, let's go out!" Feretti and his men moved out.
"Guys, could you go sit with Topanga, Morgan and Eric please?" Cory and his gang left for the main infirmary. Hammond and O'Neill left for the gate room because the alarm was going off. Anise had arrived.
"The Tok'ra High Council have sent me instead, as Jacob is on a very important mission." Anise told them.
"Thank you for stopping by, bye!" O'Neill told her. He didn't like Anise, she had made a pass at him at the worst of times once before!
"I am sorry." Anise left as soon as the 'Gate activated.
INFIRMARY...
"Topanga, I'm very mad with you, you've made the nice Major very sick!" Cory told his wife.
"I didn't know it was a bad virus."
"Well you shouldn't have picked it up dear."
"I know. I'm sorry." Cory hugged her.
"It's okay, I'm sure she'll be fine."
"Eric you idiot!" Morgan yelled. Eric looked at her innocently. "Sorry, habit! Topanga, you idiot!"
"Hey hey hey!" Shawn shouted at Morgan. "Don't go making her feel worse Morg."
SAM'S ROOM...
"What does this cause Doctor Frasier?" One member of her team asked.
"It'll make her sick, and hot, and...err...a little bit...pregnant, but only for a day, because it's err...alien!"
"Yaw!" The nurse replied. "How do you know?"
"Because it did the same thing to Bonnie." Janet replied.
"Oh."
"And she had purple kids." Janet finished her sentence.
"Oh crap."
"Yeah." Janet agreed.
COMISSARRY... "Good job Janet let you out, the food in the infirmary is horrible!" O'Neill told 'Plays With.' "Plays, I want a name like yours."
"Really? How about...Dances With Moose's? Plays With Pasta? Dances With Onions? Or maybe Dances With Pudding Cups?"
"Dances With Pudding Cups! That's cool!"
"Okay, I officially name you...Dances With Pudding Cups!"
"I looked at your records Plays With, and it said that Alan Matthews isn't your real dad, or Morgan's, but he is Cory's."
"Who is my dad?"
"I'll have a look tonight. Janet caught me before I could see it."
"Oh. Feeeeennnnnaaaaaayyyyyyyy!" Eric yelled as he saw Mr. Feeny. Feeny got up and ran.
"That Carter's a hottie, is there a Fan Club?" Eric asked 'Dances With Pudding Cups.'
"Yep. Do you want to buy the swim suit photo? I took it on holiday. She doesn't know I'm selling them." 'Dances' asked.
"Sure."
SAM'S ROOM...
"I love you Major!" Eric told the door, as he wasn't actually allowed in. She shouted 'I love someone else, go away!' back to him though.
LATER THAT NIGHT IN JANET'S OFFICE...
"Can you see it?" Eric whispered.
"Yes, it says your dad is...Jacob Carter!" Jack replied, in a whisper.
"Really?" Eric asked.
"That's Carter's dad, that means you're her...brother, and Morgan's her sister!"
"No! No! I liked her! Eww! I had a photo of my barely-dressed sister, that's sick man, sick!"
"I know!"
MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT IN THE INFIRMARY...
Sam had been moved in now that the virus was gone. Janet held a purple baby in her arms, and Sam held another, and the last was held by Eric.
"They're beautiful Sam!"
"They're purple!" Eric announced, as if he had only just noticed after holding one for half an hour.
"They're your nieces, Plays With Squirrels." Janet told him.
"Really? I have three purple nitches?"
"Nieces." Eric repeated the word, and then looked at Janet like she was nuts.
"What are you going to call them...big sister?" Morgan asked Sam.
"Chloe Jolinar Anne, Katie Hope, and Breanna Faye Carter." Sam grinned.
"They're purple!" Eric exclaimed.
"Holy Hannah! Did they transfer his brain in to mine so I could be really smart?" Sam asked Janet.
"Maybe." Janet thought about it.
"This is so cool! I have a big sister!" Morgan exclaimed.
"You have a big sister, and three big brothers!" Carter corrected her.
"You have a brother?" Morgan asked.
"Mark, yes. He's my big brother!"
"Okay guys, let's leave Sam to rest shall we?" Everyone cleared out. The purple baby looked up at Sam, and she was scared. She had three daughters that were born in one day! She had another brother, and a sister, and her kids were purple! Could the day get any weirder?
NEXT DAY, INFIRMARY...
"Morning Sam. Jolinar's...children are here to see you!" Janet announced.
"No way!" Sam told Daniel. "Send them away!"
"I can't do that! Eric likes them. Topanga wants to adopt them!" Janet replied, shaking her head.
"Really?"
"One of them."
"How many are there?"
"Twenty four."
"Really?"
"No, there's two."
"Oh. I'll have the one...I guess. Send them in." Two little girls entered the room. One wasn't little, she was about fifteen, and the other was about thirteen.
"I want to adopt Sarah." Tope announced.
"Which one's that?"
"Me." The tall one answered.
"What's your name then?" Sam asked the smaller one.
"Molly."
"I'll have her then."
SAM'S NEW HOUSE... (WITH FIVE BEDROOMS, ONE WEEKS LATER.)
"Thanks for helping me decorate guys. Eric, you're welcome to stay, so are you Morgan, although, I think your mother would want you to go. Cory, you're welcome anytime, you all are." Sam told them all, as she painted the wall in front of her pink.
"I'm so glad the girls aren't purple any more!"
"Yeah. I didn't want purple nitches." Squirrels told his sister.
"Damn it Daniel!" Jack boomed in the next room. Sam went in to find Jack with a tin of paint over his head.
"Guys you were meant to be painting Chloe's walls, not each other!" Sam got knocked over when Jack ran after Daniel, and she ended up in the lovely infirmary.
"I'm sorry Sam." Jack told her.
"It's okay." She forgave him.
"The girls are with Topanga and Cory."
"Good. Thanks sir."
"No, not sir, not any more, I am Dances With Pudding Cups!"
"Okay, Dances."
O'MALLEY'S...
"Nice to meet you Ryan." (Ry'Ac.) Morgan said, as she sat down at the dinner table, with Rachel.
"Nice to meet you, Morgan."
"Rachel, may I say, you look most beautiful tonight!" Teal'C complimented Rachel.
"Thank you Murray." (Teal'C.)
INFIRMARY...
"I love baking pancakes!" Shawn sang as he cooked his pancakes. He was making some for Sam, to cheer her up. Even though she was Eric's sister, she was still hot! He accidentally flipped them to hard, and they landed on Sam.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Jolinar@Carter
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Purple Nitches
by Jolinar CarterSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis