Giving Notice
Giving Notice
by Jacke W.
Summary: Sam has issues that could break up SG1
Category: Angst, Romance
Season: future Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/24/03
Title: "Giving Notice (1/1)"
Author: Jackie W.
Email: jackiesfic@aol.com
Rating: PG13
Classification: S/J UST/Romance?
Season: End of Season 6
Spoilers: Meridian, Full Circle, Fallen
Summary: Sam has issues that could mean the end of SG1
Authors notes: I wanted to slap Daniel around when he basically ignored Sam in Full Circle. (and I LIKE Daniel) And just what was Sam discussing with General Hammond in his office when Jonas came rushing in at the beginning of Fallen? This was supposed to be totally full of angst, but my muse wasn't buying it. So we compromised. I got to work on the angst for the first part, she got to be upbeat at the end.
Feed back craved!
Sam sat up in a panic and tried to let her heart rate settle as she fought off the remnants of the nightmare. It had been the same every night for the last two weeks, ever since they had returned from finding Abydos destroyed, and all of the inhabitants ascended. In the dream she was in the control room desperately trying to close the iris as Anubus' Jaffa came streaming through the wormhole. One by one all of her colleagues and friends were killed. One by one she watched as they ascended without a backwards glance. Finally it was over. The gunfire ceased and a Jaffa headed up the stairs zatting her as soon as he reached the control room. She watched helplessly from the floor as he dialed out, and after the wormhole had closed behind the last of the enemy she stood up to face the eerie silence, totally alone.
'Holy Hannah, girl, get a grip' she thought to herself as she shivered in the darkness of her quarters. Any college psych student could tell you to deal with your abandonment issues and move on. But for some reason finding out both Teal'c and the Colonel had been visited by Daniel in his glowy state coupled with Daniel's cool greeting on Abydos when she had finally seen him had really done a number on her head. She had always thought of Daniel as one of her best friends, so the apparent lack of caring on his part had really hurt. It hadn't helped matters that since they had been back the Colonel had been remote and moody, and Jonas had been totally absorbed in trying to translate the tablet they had found. With Janet and Cassie off looking at colleges that had left her with only Teal'c to talk to. As good a friend as he was, she didn't think he would understand her getting all needy on him because Daniel had been abrupt in his greeting. Besides, he and the Colonel had headed out to the Alpha site yesterday to deliver some equipment and get an update on the Jaffa rebellion.
Looking at the clock and seeing that there was only another hour until her alarm went off anyway she grabbed fresh BDU's and headed for the locker room. She could certainly use the extra time to catch up on work. Since they had been back she had made two trips to Nevada to work on the X-303. Now she was tackling a backlog of technology that the SG teams had brought back. Between the work and the nightmares she was exhausted.
General Hammond sighed and looked at his calendar for the next day. Not too bad. A staff meeting with the heads of all of the technical areas, and SG4 would be returning from their mission and would need a debrief. He also had a mission briefing with SG2 who would be heading out in the afternoon. He frowned. Major Carter had promised him a summary of the MALP data for that mission by the end of the day but he had not received it yet. He checked the clock. 20:30. She probably had gotten involved in her lab and lost track of time.
His hand reached for the phone and then he changed his mind. He hadn't seen much of the Major over the last two weeks, but his brief discussions had left him feeling as if something was wrong. With SG1 scattered at the moment and Dr Fraiser on leave it might be a good idea for him to check up on her, if for no other reason than to make sure she wasn't working herself into the ground.
He wasn't surprised to find Sam asleep on her keyboard. He was alarmed however to notice that her sleep was far from peaceful. He was about to wake her when she suddenly jerked awake with a sob, and in the moment before she realized that she was not alone he heard her mumble "This has got to stop." Then she noticed his presence and shot to her feet. "Sir!" she exclaimed.
"At ease, Major," he replied eyeing her with concern.
"General, what time is it? Sir, I apologize. I meant to bring this report down an hour ago. I must have dozed off," she stammered still not totally awake.
"No damage done, Major. But I am going to insist that you go home. Get some real sleep in your own bed. I don't want to sound like a certain Colonel we both know, but you look like hell," he stated honestly.
Sam looked away in embarrassment. But she knew he was right "Yes, sir. I'll just shut down everything and then be on my way."
"As a matter of fact, Major, I want you to take a few days off. Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill are not due back for two days. I don't expect to see you back in here until Thursday," he added.
She opened her mouth to protest and then shut it again. In the first place Hammond didn't look like he was in the mood to argue. And suddenly a couple of days outside of the mountain sounded appealing. The weather had been nice when she had last been outside, and the thought of a daytrip on her bike was tempting. So instead she found herself nodding her head in agreement. Hammond should have known then and there that something was seriously wrong.
On Tuesday morning she headed out on her bike with no clear destination in mind. Subconsciously she must have known where she was headed all along because when she found herself at her mother's graveside late on Wednesday she was not surprised. She was only slightly concerned that she was now a two-day ride away from Colorado Springs, and as such would be AWOL in the morning. She hoped that Hammond would extend her leave. In the mean time she had more important things on her mind as she sat down cross-legged in front of her Mom's grave and started to talk. After a brief glance around to ensure that there was not a living soul in sight, she started at the beginning. In hushed tones she told her mom about the Stargate, her work, and her teammates. She told her about the Goa'uld and the Tok'ra, stumbling a bit over the part about Jolinar. She filled her in on Jacob and his blending with Selmak, in case Dad hadn't. She was finishing up telling her about the events of the last year since Daniel ascended when she finally paused and took in her surroundings. She realized that it was dark, and that she was starving. Promising her Mom she would be back in the morning she headed off to find a hotel and restaurant. That night was the first night that she slept without being plagued by nightmares in weeks.
In the morning she called the SGC and asked to speak to General Hammond. When he came on the line she explained the cover story she had come up with; that she had been out riding on her bike, and had broken down. She was waiting for a part, but was really enjoying exploring the hiking trails in the area, and would like to stay until Saturday. Hammond was happy to extend her leave until Monday as long as she would have her cell phone on her in case of an emergency. She breathed a sigh of relief, and after picking up some breakfast headed back to the cemetery. She had just gotten settled in by her Mom's grave when her phone rang.
"Carter," she answered.
"Where the hell are you?" the panicked voice at the other end demanded.
"I got stranded, Sir. I explained to the General, didn't he tell you?" she replied with a sigh.
"Yes, and I didn't buy it for a minute. Where are you really?" he asked more gently.
She considered lying, but she knew that since she had already paused he would pick up on it immediately.
"San Antonio, Sir," she answered honestly. After all, he had no idea why she was there.
"What's in San Antonio, Carter? And when are you coming back?" he hounded at her.
"Not to be rude, Sir, but it's personal," she said, evading not only answering the first question, but completely ignoring the second, which did not escape notice.
"Fine, I'm sorry. But you will be back Monday, right?" he insisted in concern.
She paused. Darn it she really needed to work on spitting out a lie quickly.
"Carter? Damn it, you have to come back. We need you here," he pleaded now seriously starting to panic.
"I don't know, ok? I think I'll be back on Monday," she whispered. "I have some things I need to work out."
At the other end of the phone Jack closed his eyes and hoped he wasn't about to make things worse. "You have to come back Sam. I can't do this every day without you."
She held her breath. "Do what?"
That was a good question he thought. Live? Breath? Fight for a future that might never be?
"Any of it, Carter. What would be the purpose?" he finally admitted.
"Duty, Honor, to Protect and Serve? Any of this ringing any bells?" she asked with a grimace.
"I don't know does it? You're the one in San Antonio," he reminded her.
"Good point, Sir," she acknowledged.
"So you'll be here on Monday?" he prodded.
Sam sighed in defeat. She would have four more days to decide what she wanted to do, and she really needed to be there Monday one way or another. "Yes, I'll be there Monday," she agreed.
A wave of relief washed over Jack. Then he had another thought. "And everything will go back to normal, right?"
"Normal? Not sure I know what that is, Sir," Sam quipped.
"Very funny. See you Monday, Carter," he said. It was only after he'd hung up that he realized she hadn't answered his last question and he started to worry again.
Sam sat and regarded her Mom's grave. "So that was my CO. Colonel Jack O'Neill. I guess that's my cue to tell you about my love life. Don't worry, it won't take long" Sam said with a sigh.
It actually took several hours. She had told her Mom all about Jonas years ago, so she spent a little bit filling her in on the past six long celibate years. Narim, Martouf and Orlin all got a brief accounting. Then she got to Jack O'Neill. And she didn't stop talking for well over an hour. When she was done she sat in stunned silence. Finally she continued on with a chuckle.
"Well. You must be wondering exactly why I was so confused when I got here. I'm sort of wondering the same thing now. I really do know what I want. I've just been too scared to make the changes in my life to get it. Afraid that it won't work out and then I will really be alone. But no guts no glory, right?" Sam stated confidently.
On Monday morning, Sam printed out two letters and signed them both before heading to General Hammond's office. She was hoping she would only need the first one. The second was her ace in the hole. When she was seated in the General's office she handed him the first letter.
"Major, I can't allow this. You are needed on SG1. You request for a transfer is denied," Hammond bellowed after reading the first letter.
"Sir, this is not something I haven't thought through. I really don't think I can serve effectively on SG1 any longer," she insisted.
"Major, Colonel O'Neill came to talk to me Friday. He said he thought there was something wrong. Whatever it is, he wants you to know that you are very much wanted and needed on SG1," Hammond told her. "Maybe you should talk to him about whatever is bothering you," he suggested.
Sam smiled a sad smile. That was kind of the point. She couldn't talk to him as long as she was on SG1. She couldn't exactly tell Hammond that though.
"Sir, there really is no problem with Colonel O'Neill or anyone else on SG1. It's just time for me to move on. With all due respect, Sir, I am requesting a transfer," she said looking him in the eye with a calm confidence.
"I can't allow that, Major. The Joint Chiefs would have my head if I let SG1 be broken up," Hammond said, once again rejecting her request.
Sam pulled the other letter out of her jacket pocket. "Then I have no choice but to resign, Sir," she stated sadly.
To say Hammond was shocked was an understatement. The young woman in front of him was a brilliant officer with a great future in front of her. He wouldn't be surprised if she made General herself one day. He couldn't imagine what would motivate her to throw all of that away.
"Major... Sam, let's talk off the record. What's all of this about? You are one of the best officers I have ever worked with, and you have always seemed to love your work here. What's changed?" he asked in confusion.
"It's really quite simple, Sir. I'm lonely. I want a family. And I will never have it as long as I am on SG1," Sam stated quietly.
"Sam, SG1 is your family," Hammond protested.
"And I love them dearly, Sir. But they will not be around forever. Daniel has already left us, and in another couple of years I daresay none of the other three will be around either. The Colonel will retire or at the very least step down from SG1, and Teal'c will go off to help lead the Jaffa rebellion with his son at his side. Jonas will most likely eventually go back to Kelowna. And exactly where will that leave me?" she questioned.
Hammond had no answer for her. It was certainly true that she would have a hard time building and maintaining any type of a relationship outside of the SGC when she had to keep her life a secret, and she was on-call 24/7 to save the world. However it really wouldn't be that much easier even if she was just in the lab or on a science team. Her work would still be classified, and she still would be needed around the clock. Not a good foundation for a relationship. Unless... And suddenly he knew exactly what was behind this request. He should have seen it coming. How long had he expected the two of them to put their lives on hold?
He sighed in defeat. "Have you discussed this decision with Colonel O'Neill yet?" he asked wondering how far the two had taken things.
"No, Sir. He has no clue that I am even considering this. He would only try to talk me out of it, and my mind is made up," she replied
So nothing probably had actually happened between them yet. "Sam, why don't you give it some time? Wait a year, or six months even and if you feel the same way then I will approve your transfer. A lot could happen in that timeframe," Hammond suggested.
"It could, Sir, and not necessarily for the better. I could be dead, or injured. Believe me, Sir, I've considered a lot of options. And I know that this is what I want. The only thing that I ask is that I can stay on at the SGC in some capacity. Leaving all of my work and friends behind is not my intention. I just need to try for some sort of life outside of this mountain, too," she confided.
Hammond nodded his head in understanding. He'd known Sam's father for a long time, and had seen glimpses of the woman sitting in front of him as she grew up. He knew that she'd had no sort of normal family life since she was thirteen. It was only natural that she would want to try for one before it slipped from her grasp. And she was right. Each of the members of SG1 had died or almost died way too many times to take even a month for granted. He couldn't in all good conscious deny her this. But he also couldn't approve it without making a few calls.
"Major, give me the rest of the day to see what I can do," he said, effectively bringing the discussion back on the record.
"Thank you, Sir," Sam replied and left as he picked up the phone. Sam headed immediately for her lab, knowing two things for certain. There would be a month's worth of work waiting for her there, and the Colonel would be stopping by soon. She groaned when she entered. She'd been wrong on the first count. There was at least two month's worth of work siting on the workbench. Another good reason to be leaving SG1, she thought. She never got enough time in the lab. It was only twenty minutes before Colonel O'Neill showed up though. She smiled at how predicable he could be sometimes.
"Carter, you're back!" he announced.
"I said I would be," she reminded him.
He nodded and let out a small sigh of relief. "So everything's ok?" he prodded.
"It will be, Sir," she said with a small smile.
He accepted that at face value, not guessing what she really meant. "So what are you working on?" he asked picking up a gizmo from the bench.
"I have no idea," she admitted.
The rest of the day passed normally, and if Sam was distracted her teammates didn't notice. Jonas was barely able to pull himself away from his translation efforts to eat lunch. He probably wouldn't have noticed if Anubus himself sat down at the lunch table. Jack and Teal'c were busy updating Sam on their trip to the Alpha site. All she had to do was nod and look interested which really wasn't that difficult. It was just after 14:00 when Hammond called her to his office.
"Well, Major. You got what you wanted. The Joint Chiefs and the President all agreed to allow you to transfer off of SG1. With the understanding that you might still be needed to go out with any SG team including SG1 as needed. But from this point on, you will be reporting directly to me, as the lead scientist of the SGC. They are even thinking of making it an officially titled position. They did ask if you would continue on SG1 until we could find a replacement for you. Although since SG1 is currently off the mission list, that shouldn't be a big problem," he explained.
"Of course, Sir. I even have a couple of suggestions for possible replacements," Sam said beaming.
"'I'll let you tell your former teammates. I don't think they will be too happy," the General warned.
"Not at first, Sir, but it's not as if I am totally abandoning them. They'll understand eventually," she said with more confidence than she felt. "And , Sir? Thank you," she stated, knowing that he probably had done some fast talking to get the approval.
"Be happy, Sam," he said with a smile.
The smile she gave him back was blinding. She was already feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders. She looked at him with a twinkle in her eye that had been missing of late.
"I plan on it, Sir. I might even go fishing," she quipped causing Hammond to chuckle.
Just then Jonas came skidding into the office.
"I've got it!" he exclaimed.
"I hope it's not catching," Sam joked, still feeling a bit giddy with the sudden change in her status.
Of course that wasn't going to last long. They had a new mission. And it wasn't until a week later that she was finally able to tell them she was no longer officially on SG1. But that was fine, because somehow it seemed fitting that her last mission would be to bring Daniel home.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Jacke W.
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