Loss
Loss
by Katerina17
Summary: He is surprised he still remembers how to cry.
Category: Angst
Episode Related: 310 Forever in a Day
Season: Season 3
Pairing: Daniel/Sha're
Rating: GEN
Warnings: minor character death
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/18/05
He can't sleep because he's so very tired. He lies awake and stares up at the ceiling. He doesn't think he would see anything even if there was light.
He is being punished, he thinks. He let down his guard and walked away. He left her unprotected. He thought she would be fine. He was wrong.
He isn't a soldier. He's being punished for not being a soldier.
No matter how hard he tries, the memories never leave him alone. They loop endlessly in his head, taunting him, a thousand sparkling moments that never ended in happily ever after.
He didn't mean to put her in danger. He would have given everything to save her, but in the end, everything wasn't enough.
Tears never come. Sometimes he thinks it would hurt less if he could cry, but he can't. As a confused, hurting little boy he used up enough tears for a thousand lifetimes. Maybe he's being punished for that too.
She was so beautiful and so strong. She must have fought, every minute, every second the demon controlled her body. She never gave up. The woman he saw for a split second at the very end was no shattered husk of humanity. She was the same vibrant person who mocked his flour-grinding skills and loved him with a passion that never failed to surprise him.
He closes his eyes. His brain is beginning to shut down from sheer exhaustion.
In that brief period before sleep, when dreams blur with reality, he sees her face. She smiles.
"I am Sha're of Abydos," she says. "I am free."
He feels frozen. He can't move or speak. Her hands caress his face, and she whispers, "I love you for always."
His eyes pop open and he sees darkness. The silence is very loud. She's gone forever.
He is surprised he still remembers how to cry.
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