Miles to Go
Miles to Go
by Exleygirl
Title: Miles to Go
Author: Exleygirl
Email: murphac@yahoo.com
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Season: any Season
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Summary: It was just an ordinary day. How was he to know it would change everything?
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
The funny thing is, it was just another ordinary day. Ran late for work because I stayed up too late the night before. Sat in on a briefing about a new planet; made wise cracks about the scientific mumbo-jumbo just to irritate Danny and watch Carter smile. Yep, just a typical day in the life of Jack O'Neill. Birds singing, sun shining, fish biting. Lakers won the championship last night - what does that make it, 319? Just your average, run-of-the-mill, no sugar on your cereal, ordinary day. How was I to know that the events of this day would change my life forever?
We left for P3..., P3X..., ah hell, the planet where everything changed at about 0900. Carter's little robot doohickey hadn't seen anything that made it wet its pants, so we took a trip. As far as I could tell, we had the place to ourselves. We split up in pairs right away; Daniel and Teal'c walked off, deep into some discussion about American culture. Carter smiled, her eyes full of amusement, before falling into step next to me to continue exploring.
We had walked for about an hour, talking about nothing, when it happened. Carter knelt down to look at a plant or something, and I wandered over to the edge of the cliff to look down at the valley below. I never even heard the animal growl. I did hear Carter scream. I turned around to witness a scene straight out of my worst nightmares: a big black monster of a cat had Carter by the arm and was dragging her along the path. Carter's pants were ripped, and there was a stream of blood trailing along behind her. I felt something clench inside my chest, suspiciously close to my heart. With more rage than I've felt in a very long time, I shot the beast that was attacking my 2IC. The air split with a horrible growl of pain, and then it was all over except for Carter's ragged breathing.
I rushed to her side. "Carter! Carter, talk to me!" She was moaning now and trying to sit up. "No, no. Don't move." Damn, there was so much blood. Her leg was a mess; there was no way we would make it back to the gate like this. Frantically, I keyed my radio. "Daniel, Teal'c, come in!"
There was a burst of static, and then I heard Daniel's voice responding. "Jack, what's wrong?"
I gripped the radio with one hand while I tried to apply pressure to the wound in Carter's leg with the other. "Carter's been hurt. She was attacked by some sort of animal - a cat of some kind. It's bad, Daniel. I need you and Teal'c to go back and get help." I gave him our position and a few more medical details to tell the doc.
"We'll hurry, Jack. Tell Sam to hold on." Another burst of static, and he was gone.
I reached for the first aid kit to begin putting Carter back together. "Do ya here that, Carter? Danny says you better stick it out 'till he gets back or he's gonna kick your ass."
Her lips curled up into the ghost of a smile. "Wouldn't want that to happen, Sir." She grimaced as I touched her leg.
"Sorry about that Major, but it has to be done. I'll have everything finished in a second, and then we'll just wait for Doc Fraiser to get here, okay?"
"Sounds...like a plan." Her skin was alarmingly pale.
The next few minutes reinforced me admiration for my 2IC. She was obviously in pain, but she never made a sound. I was glad when it was over and her arm and leg were bandaged. I took a blanket out of my pack and helped her lie down. "Okay, Carter, that's it. Now we wait for the Cavalry to show up."
"Yes, Sir. Sir, I'm sorry about this. I never even saw it coming..."
I cut her off with a wave of my hand. "Not your fault, Major. It caught me by surprise, too." I rummaged through the first aid kit again and found some painkillers and antibiotics. "Here, you should probably take these." I gave them to her and helped her drink some water from my canteen. Then we fell into the kind of silence that has to do with endurance and guilt. If I had just been looking after Carter instead of enjoying the view from the cliff...
Her good hand reached over to take mine. "I thought you said this wasn't anyone's fault?" Sometimes she surprises me by how well she knows me.
"You're right, Carter. I'm sorry." I'll beat myself up later when you can't see it.
Time passed really slowly. Daniel radioed me to let me know they had reached the stargate and were dialing home. The pain pills got to her and she dozed. I kept a constant watch for other predators, which was kind of like shutting the barn door after the cows got out. I was getting a little worried that Daniel and Teal'c weren't going to make it back very soon. The sky had been overcast all day, and now the wind was picking up. The air seemed full of some sort of energy that made my skin itch. I reached into the supplies. The noise woke Carter and she looked at me.
"Sir?"
"I don't like the look of that sky, Carter, and there's something weird going on with the air. I'm going to put up the temporary shelter, just in case."
"I think it's a ion storm, Sir." Which confirmed exactly what I hadn't wanted to hear. She looked at me, both of us knowing full well what that could mean. "Sir, Daniel and Teal'c probably won't be able to dial in again during the storm."
"Yeah, I know. We'll just have to wait it out." I finished constructing our shelter and then moved to help her into it. When she put her arms around me, I noticed that her skin felt a little clammy. "Cold, Carter?"
"A little, Sir."
"Okay, hold on just a sec and I'll get you another blanket. Maybe I'll even make you a cup of hot tea."
"Sounds good."
I busied around the tent, trying not to think about how bad this could get if the storm went on for a long time. I finished the tea and brought her a cup.
"Thanks, Sir. This is good." We sat side-by-side, drinking our tea and thinking. Suddenly she surprised me. "We're never going to have our chance, are we?"
I looked at her for a long moment. The pain pills must have really kicked in for her to bring this up. I decided not to play ignorant. "Sure we will. We could win this thing tomorrow and all go home."
"You don't know that," she countered. "I'm starting to think it won't be won, at least not in my lifetime. In any case, it's going to take a long time. Too long. We might not even make it there. I mean, today was supposed to be a routine mission to an uninhabited planet, and look what happened. If we keep going like this, we're either going to get killed or have nothing left to give when it's over."
"You're not dying today, Major. That's an order." God, Sam, please don't die on me.
"No, sir, not today. I really think I'll be okay until we can get home. But what about the next mission, or the one after that? What if we win this in twenty years, and we're too old to care? I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to know what it feels like to make love with you. I want..." her voice trailed off as her cheeks got pink from something that had nothing to do with a fever. Or at least not that kind of fever.
"What do you want?" My voice was gruff. Carter's speech was filling my head with all sorts of mental images...sharing breakfast at my house, going up to the cabin to go fishing. Spending more time in bed than at the lake. Lying with her by the fireplace, her long, silky legs wrapped around me...
"I want to have your baby. I don't know if I can, but I want to try. Or maybe we could adopt, or something." Her chin was tilted at a dangerous angle. She knew, hell we both knew this conversation was about as far outside of regulations as we could get, but she was sticking to her guns. "I want to make a family with you."
All of the sudden, I could see her. A little girl, the light shining off her hair, giggling as she hides from her mother. "I can see her."
"Sir?"
I almost came to my senses at the sound of that damned word, but I shook my head and refused to give in to reality. "I can see our little girl. She looks just like you, and she's so smart that it's scary. She got her attitude from her dad, so she knows how to have a good time. She'll make my eyes glaze over with scientific talk, and she'll drive you crazy with all her pranks."
Sam was crying. Not much, but enough that I could tell. She smiled a watery smile. "It would have been nice, Sir."
To hell with that. "It will be nice, Major."
"Yes, Sir." But her eyes told me she didn't believe it.
I felt myself getting angry. Not so much at Carter, but at the whole situation. If I didn't have hope that some day I could have a normal life with the woman I love, then what the hell was I fighting for? I felt the final restraints slip as I moved closer to invade her space. "Listen, Carter, if you want to give up, I can't do anything about it. But I think you might be forgetting exactly who I am. I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, United States Air Force. I don't leave men behind, I play to win, and when I want something, I get it!" I leaned so close to her that I could almost feel my lips grazing hers. "And I want you."
That had done the trick. I could tell by the way her eyes measured me that she was weighing every action, every thought. When she opened her mouth, it was to challenge me. "When?"
I was so busy not concentrating on her lips that I almost missed the question. "When, what?"
"When are you going to have me?"
She was smiling, but her eyes told me that she meant every word. If she hadn't been injured, we might have settled this right then and there. Don't think about her mouth, Jack, don't...don't! I took a ragged breath. She asked me a question, what was it? Oh yeah, when. I thought for a few seconds, and then I looked up at her. "A year."
"Sir?" Her blue eyes were startled now.
"One year, Carter. Twelve months. At the end of that time, one way or another, so help me God, you and I will be together." I leaned even closer to whisper against her skin, "In every since of the word." I felt her shiver.
She pulled away to look at me again, and then nodded. "Okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. One year." Her eyes were big, serious.
I smiled. "Okay." I pulled her into my arms to wait out the storm.
So here I am a week later, in her lab. See, things got worse before they got better - don't they always? Sam's fever got pretty high before the medics could get there, and she spent a few days in the infirmary when we got back. She never said another word about our conversation. I started doubting that she remembered any of it. This afternoon I decided that I couldn't let it sit, so I came to see her so that we could talk. I just wanted to be sure that we still had a commitment. It almost scared me, how much I needed that promise to be real. The only problem was, Carter wasn't here yet. So now, I wait.
Eventually I get bored, like I always do. I start messing with the stuff on her desk, making sure that I don't break anything that might get her irritated. Not a good way to begin a conversation. "Carter, I'm sorry I broke your project you spent six months building. So, still want to get together next year?" Screw that.
Hey, what's this? It looks like a calendar, a...what do you call these things? That's right, a day planner. This one's set up to work for two years. Wait a sec...two years? I have an idea. Turning the pages, I find the entry I'm looking for. And there it is. Circled in red ink, no words written, no words necessary. She remembers. I'm as sure of that as I am of my love for her.
"Sir?" She's standing behind me. "Did you need something?"
I put the planner down before I turn around. "No thanks, Carter. I found what I needed."
She smiles, puzzled. "Okay, well...good."
"You feeling all better?"
"Yeah, great." Her blue eyes hold mine.
I smile. "Good. Stay healthy."
She grins. "You, too."
It's time to go. I get down off the stool and brush past her, enjoying the momentary contact. For the next year, I'm going to have to toe the line, play by the book. Still, it will all be worth it. "See ya around, Carter."
"Yes, Sir."
I take one last look at her, bent over some project in her lab, already lost in thought. Then I turn to go home.
51 weeks and counting.
Author's notes: My first story! This is so exciting. I apologize for ideas that I know others have already used, others who can tell much better stories than I can. There will probably be a sequel because it's already in my head. Positive and negative constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks for reading!
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