Love As One
by Elizabeth Hayward
TITLE: Love As One
AUTHOR: Elizabeth Hayward
EMAIL: elizabeth@ratbag.demon.co.uk
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack, Angst, Romance
SPOILERS: Solitude, Tok'ra I and II, Into the Fire, Divide and Conquer, A Hundred Days, Thor's Hammer, Forever in a Day, Crossroads
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 4. This is a gen version of a story archived at Heliopolis 2.
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: A mission goes disastrously wrong, as Jack is captured by the Goa'uld and Sam is left seriously injured.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: With many thanks and Colonel O'Neill kisses to Erika and AC from samandjack, for beta'ing this fic for me and for helping me salvage it from the reject pile. I couldn't have done it with out you!
Jack screamed as the Goa'uld symbiote pushed into his neck. This time, he knew there was no escape: no Tok'ra operative to put him in the deep-freeze to prevent the blending, no Asgard to beam him away at the critical moment. Jack O'Neill was about to suffer a fate worse than death: eternal imprisonment within his own body.
In his mind, he wanted to call out her name, but his mouth could only vocalise the scream of terror and pain of one about to have his body possessed by a demon. He prayed that she would be all right, that his team would be all right, that for once, they'd just get the hell out of there.
An image of the major burned in his mind.
"I love you, Samantha Carter," he thought, as the black fog of unconsciousness swept over his mind.
The event horizon of the 'gate before them, the rest of SG1 paused and looked up to see Apophis' mothership take off. They had failed. Jack had been captured and the explosive intended to blow up the ship had instead blown up the main airlock.
Sam had suffered the worst of the injuries, with her leg smashed in halfa dozen places as she had been hurled against the rock-face of the canyon. Teal'c had third-degree burns on his arm and Daniel was covered in cuts and bruises from flying shrapnel. The marines that had come along as support were either dead, or evacuated through the stargate.
Sam, her leg inexpertly splinted by herself, moaned as she gazed up at the sky with despairing tears in her eyes, and slumped even harder against Teal'c. Teal'c ignored the pain of his own injuries and lifted her up to carry her towards the 'gate. Daniel, grimacing, limped determinedly towards the event horizon and together, they disappeared.
The scene that met them on the other side was of the Gateroom in chaos. The wounded were everywhere, being helped onto gurneys by their colleagues and the medical orderlies, as Dr Fraiser snapped out the
orders to her triage team. "Get that one prepped for O.R.! Sergeant, that man is dead. Leave him, and help that man onto a gurney!"
Her professionalism and training disguised any emotions she might be feeling, but her face noticeably softened when she saw her injured friend.
"She is very seriously injured," said Teal'c, indicating the obvious.
Fraiser waved her hand. A gurney were immediately procured. "I see your first-aid skills haven't improved much," she joked gently, as Sam was lowered onto the gurney by Teal'c. "Remind me to go through splinting again some time."
Sam smiled weakly. "Remember when Colonel O'Neill broke his leg in Antarctica and I..." She stopped, a sudden realisation sweeping over her. "Janet, it's the colonel. The Goa'uld have taken him. Apophis is going to use him as a host! We tried to stop him, but there were too many of them..." She passed out, aided by the large dose of sedative the doctor injected into her other leg.
Fraiser frowned, turning her attentions to Teal'c and Daniel. "Can Junior take care of that?" She indicated the severe burn on his arm.
Teal'c answered in the affirmative. "As soon as I am able, I will retrieve O'Neill," he swore.
Fraiser nodded. "I know you will, Teal'c, but for now, you must all recover from your wounds. Major Carter's injuries are going to take quite a while to heal."
Jack became aware of a voice that was not his own, speaking through his mouth:
Jack felt his mouth return a diffident smile.
Aphophis seemed to savour the thought. He clapped his hands and beckoned for two Jaffa to escort Jack to his quarters.
Trapped within his own mind, unable to control his own body, Jack struggled to fight the presence in his mind. He mentally pushed it from his thoughts, but it snapped back like a coiled spring, causing a surge of pain to seer his mind. "Aargh!" he screamed, falling to his knees.
The presence took over, and Jack found himself issuing a command, in a voice that expected to be obeyed.
The Jaffa left, the heavily ornamented door shutting automatically behind them and Jack found himself able to control his body once again. He stood up.
"Who the heck are you?" said Jack, out loud.
Jack found himself speaking in his mind. "Lantesh? As in the snake inside Martouf?"
"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you... dead?"
"So, now you just barge in here, into this body, without so much as an invite from me?"
"Very Tok'ra answer."
Jack sat on the ornate couch. "For snakes that never like to take an unwilling host, you seem to have a mighty blurry definition of 'unwilling'. Remind me to ask Danny about the linguistics behind that translation!"
"Yeah, well, can I just say, for the record, that I am definitely *not* willing, in any shape or form, so could you kindly get your snakey butt out of here, ASAP?!"
"I still think I would have liked to have been asked. Don't you guys have a concept of 'Informed consent', or is it just as case of 'Trust us - we're the superior species?'"
Jack sensed a wave of anger in return for his indignation.
Jack mentally winced. "Okay, Okay, you've got a point. It's just that sharing my body with a snake is kind of my idea of a nightmare. How did you do it, anyway?"
"You can do that?"
"So why'd you even attempt it?"
If Jack could have raised his eyebrow at this, he would have done.
"Teal'c's?"
"But you didn't think to bring it to *our* attention? And Teal'c? Why didn't Teal'c tell me *anything* about this plan?"
"Damn right it's not acceptable!"
"Okay, okay... thank you, Lantesh. Thank you for saving my hide. Now could you kindly get out of my head? Please? I'm asking nicely."
"Oh, right, here it comes! The little bit where you tell me that the fate of the universe depends on my going along with your little snake- assed plan? Only you aren't going to tell me the plan, or at least, not the bits that I might, in any way, shape or form, object to?"
Jack realised that he was right and his anger subsided a little. It gave him the creeps knowing that he was communicating telepathically with a parasite fixed to his brain and spinal cord, but he had to admit, the snake was actually behaving impeccably. Even the typical Tok'ra arrogance didn't feel like arrogance when directed straight into his brain.
Having given the plan some thought, Jack "spoke" again. "Okay, the plan's viable. Just one thing: when do I get to have my body back? Like it was? You know, one brain, one body?"
"When do I get to tell my people about this little scheme of yours? And while we're at it, tell them that I'm alive and human?"
"You betchya I'm concerned about my friends. Last time they saw me, I was being dragged off for implantation and they were under heavy fire!"
"So are you!"
"She's the best 2IC I've ever had."
"If you can read my mind, why have a conversation at all?"
Images of memories that were not his own flooded Jack's mind.
"You were *in love* with Martouf?"
"Well the Goa'uld seem quite capable of not doing so... all right, all right! You're not Goa'uld and my Earth morality is screwy. Just don't go getting any ideas like that about me!... Or Saman... Major Carter."
Back on Earth, it was several weeks later that Sam, leg in a blue fibreglass cast and balancing precariously on crutches, stood in the gateroom to wave goodbye to Daniel and Teal'c, as they accompanied the newly re-formed SG-3 on a mission.
Almost knocking her off her crutches, Daniel gave her a bear-hug and kissed her on the cheek. "We'll be back before you know it."
"I hope so," said Sam, envy tingeing her anxiety for her friends. "I wish I could come with you. I'd feel a lot safer if I could keep an eye on you myself."
"Hey, it'll be okay, you know?"
Sam nodded, not meeting his eyes. She was understanding the truth of General Hammond's comments that staying behind was a lot worse than going through the stargate yourself.
Daniel regarded her encased right leg. She was healing physically, but she'd require several more surgeries before they would know if her leg would regain any useful function. Emotionally, she was still a mess, going through those hellish few weeks of grieving that he recalled only too well.
He reluctantly let go of her and made towards the ramp, tripping slightly as he did so. "You've seen the MALP data," he reassured her. "Just boring old trees and a few rocks. Nothing special."
Sam smiled and waved, blinking back the tears, as he and Teal'c passed through the event horizon.
Sam did not know how she would have survived the last few weeks if Daniel hadn't been her constant companion. He had listened to her when she talked, describing over and over again the events that they had both lived through, berating herself for what she should have done or not done, re-living the events as if, by doing so, she could change what happened.
He had listened without judgement, crying with her on occasions, often just sitting and holding her, while she wept on his shoulder. He knew what she was going through. He went through the same thing when Sha're was captured by the Goa'uld.
"To lose a loved-one to the Goa'uld is a thousand times worse than death," his father-in-law had once told him. Daniel, and now Sam, knew that this was true.
For Sam, Daniel mused, this was not another Edora, the planet on which Jack had been trapped during a meteor strike. This time, she could not work twenty hours a day to bring him back and even if they brought him back, removing the Goa'uld from him, without killing him, and without him attempting to kill them, would not be easy. They would have to somehow get him to the planet of Cimmeria, where Thor's Hammer device could destroy the Goa'uld inside him. There was a major risk that this would not be possible, that they would have to kill him, just as Teal'c had been forced to kill Sha're. And Jack would thank us for it, just as Sha're did, Daniel thought bitterly.
For Sam, there was no more hiding now, no more pretence. Daniel knew as well as she did that she loved Jack O'Neill. No one ever grieved a friend like that.
Lantesh spoke to the Jaffa in his most officious voice.
The mission had been successful. Between them, Jack and Lantesh had acquired a considerable amount of intelligence on Apophis' forces and had further infiltrated the Jaffa. All they needed to do now was to get out, preferably without detection.
The cargo-ship nudged out of the space-port at a leisurely pace. "That's it, Lantesh" said Jack. "Easy does it. Don't want to give the impression that we're in a hurry." A couple of death gliders seemed to be circling them, but they took off at an angle and were gone.
However, their relief was short-lived. Over the communication console, the brusque voice of a Goa'uld official demanded to know their security clearance.
Lantesh took over, and spoke with the arrogance that only the truly superior or megalomaniac can obtain.
The voice replied in Goa'uld, a little less confident this time, but still demanding to know their security clearance.
Lantesh replied with the code, his voice not betraying the extreme uncertainty that Jack sensed within his mind. The code had been obtained a while ago, by a Jaffa spy. It could not be relied upon.
"That code is virtually obsolete!" complained the official.
Lantesh did not hesitate.
Silence. They waited. "You are clear to leave, O Master. Please forgive my impertinence - I meant no disrespect. The war is at a critical point and we must be careful."
"Think they bought it?" Jack communicated telepathically to his symbiote.
Lantesh thought in reply.
"Then I vote we don't hang around to find out. Let's take her home," said Jack, plotting the course towards the Tok'ra planet of Vorash, and activating the ship's hyperspeed drive.
As Jack disembarked the hijacked Goa'uld transport, Jacob Carter strode towards him, beaming. "Jack! I can't tell you how good it is to see you in one piece!
"More like two pieces," he muttered, sourly, but then recovered his manners. "Good to see you too, Jacob. How's it going?"
"The information you managed to obtain has proved invaluable, but I hope Lantesh hasn't been giving you a hard time?"
"No, no. As parasitical aliens go, he's been just dandy," said Jack, stepping onto the ring-transporter pad, as Jacob indicated. "I'd just rather go on a mission with someone who has their own body next time."
Jacob smiled. "Sure, Jack. I know how antagonistic you were to the idea of becoming a Tok'ra, and how difficult it is to adjust to having someone else mouthing off inside your mind... no offence, Selmak. I just hope you understand that we had no choice on this occasion?"
"Apparently, I have Teal'c to thank for it," he replied, through gritted teeth.
Jacob nodded sympathetically, as he operated the ring-transporter. A second later, they materialised inside the tunnels of Vorash. "I'll give you a chance to clean yourself up, Jack, but then I need to talk to you about a personal matter." He waved briefly and disappeared down one of the tunnels.
Jack lowered his aching body into the warm water of the bathing pool, within the small chamber. He was irritated and impatient. "Lantesh, you promised me there would be a new host on Vorash!"
He did not speak out-loud, accustomed as he now was to speaking telepathically with his symbiote. Nor did he wince when the symbiote
replied.
"She?" A wry grin crossed Jack's face.
"Yeah, but 'she'?"
Jack was enjoying this. Despite his initial feelings of revulsion, he had now developed a grudging respect for Lantesh; and like everyone else in his life, Jack demonstrated this respect by constant ribbing and humorous put-downs.
Lantesh tried, but the Tau'ri concept of insulting people they respected, tested his improperly formed sense of humour to the limit.
Jack snorted humorously, as he climbed out of the bathing pool and wrapped a towel around his waist. "Frankly, Lantesh, and don't take this personally, but if she's breathing and half-willing, I will be *overjoyed*, let alone 'not disappointed'. I'd like my brain to rattle around my skull on it's own again, soon!"
Jack didn't even try to hide his irritation from the Tok'ra, even if that were possible. "Very into expediency, you Tok'ra, aren't you? All that 'ends justifies the means' stuff?"
Jack slumped down onto a bench and rubbed his hair absent mindedly with a towel. "You cannot believe how much I look forward to that".
Jacob indicated for Jack to take a chair. "Thanks for dropping by, Jack. I know you'll be anxious about Lantesh's new host, but I wanted to talk to you about another matter."
"Lantesh said you had news about my team?"
Jacob seemed a little distracted by the question. "What? Oh yes, your team... They are fine... that is, except for my daughter."
The colour drained from Jack's face. "Sam? What's happened to her? Is she alive?"
Jacob frowned. "Yes, she is alive, but she's not well. Frankly, I'm worried."
"What happened?"
"When they tried to blow the ship on P3X-749, they missed the main core and took out the air-lock instead. Sam was in the air-lock at the time. She was blown into a rock-face and smashed up her leg. It's bad, Jack. We've had human and Tok'ra medics working on her, but Sam's active service within the military could be over."
Jack bowed his head. "No. I can't believe it." He looked up, still not quite meeting Jacob's eyes. He felt indescribable guilt that he hadn't been there to help her through it. "How's she taking it?"
Jacob shrugged. "You know my Sammie. She'll never willingly admit defeat. She's trying to tough it out, but I'm worried she's losing the fight. We've discussed Tok'ra blending..."
Jack winced, involuntarily.
"...but it's not just that she's reluctant to become a host. Her heart's not in it any more. She believes you're as good as dead and she's missing you."
"Missing me?"
Jacob signed and rubbed his chin with his hand. "Jack, this is difficult. She told me she's in love with you, and that you felt the same."
Jack swallowed hard, trying to read the steely gaze of the retired USAF general who lived by the book, and would have gladly died by it. "Sir, I've always acted in a professional way towards Major Carter."
"And I would have cheerfully strung you up from the nearest tree if you hadn't," Jacob retorted. "But how long do you think you two can keep it that way, particularly when you 'come back from the dead'?"
"I'd never do anything to hurt her, or her career," Jack replied.
"And she would never do anything to harm yours," Jacob sighed. "It is a terrible thing to watch your daughter suffering, and I wouldn't be much of a father if I didn't try to do something to remedy it."
"I'm not quite sure I'm following you, sir..."
Jacob leaned forward. "If my daughter wants to be with you, keep it decent and keep it respectable. No sneaking around, Jack. No sordid affairs. No messy court martials." Jack shook his head slowly and opened his mouth to speak, but Jacob interrupted him. "The regulations are not there to be broken. But if you can't work it out, you'll always have a place with us, with the Tok'ra. At least that way, I could keep an eye on you both."
Jack's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're not going to sucker me in like that. I told you, I want this snake out of my head ASAP, and I don't want another to replace it!"
"No, no, you misunderstand me!" Jacob reassured him, smiling. "You wouldn't have to be hosts. Not if you didn't want to be. But you both have talents that we'd value greatly. You'd be welcome to come aboard."
Jack still wasn't sure, but the thought of being with Sam was overwhelmingly tempting. "I'll have to talk to Sam. I'm not sure what she'll say, particularly if I'm still blended with Lantesh."
Jacob lowered his face and Selmak took over.
"Now, why aren't I surprised?"
"And you can *guarantee* that Lantesh will get the new host soon?"
"And if you won't accept the word of a Tok'ra, you have my word, too, Jack," Jacob added.
The event horizon of the Stargate dissipated, as the last of SG3 passed through it, and Sam awkwardly turned to leave. Movement was slow and painful, but she had to return to the lab and continue the experiment she had begun earlier. However, as she reached the blast doors, they shut before her and sirens blared.
"Unauthorised activation!" the voice boomed out.
Sam slowly turned towards the 'gate as blue-white light blazed behind the titanium-trinium iris and the SFs spread out, guns at the ready.
"It's a Tok'ra code!", the sergeant announced over the tanoy.
General Hammond commanded the iris be opened and seconds later, a hooded man stepped through the event horizon, dressed in the garb of the Tok'ra.
Even with the hood over his face, Jack saw immediately the recognition in her eyes. But it was not for him. "Lantesh!" she gasped. She had sensed his symbiote, an ability she had retained from her own blending.
Lantesh, in his enthusiasm, did the telepathic equivalent of barging past Jack.
The SFs trained their weapons on his chest. "I thought you were dead!" she said, joy tinged with confusion, balancing precariously on her crutches.
"And Martouf?"
Lantesh shook his head.
Sam seemed bitterly disappointed. Jack was unable to hide a hint of jealousy.
Lantesh threw back the hood and Sam received her second shock of the day. "Colonel O'Neill?"
He shut his eyes and dipped his head, in the manner of the Tok'ra when transferring control from symbiote to host. A smile spread across his face that could melt ice. "Hey, Carter! Missed me?"
Sam hobbled towards him, open-mouthed and wide-eyed in amazement, to accept the hug he offered. She struggled to control her emotions. "We never thought we'd see you again! At least, not as yourself."
"Well, I'm a little different," he said casually, as if discussing a change in fashion. "At least until Lantesh gets a new host. Where's Teal'c and Daniel? I thought they'd be here to meet me?"
"Off world," Sam replied, staring at him, unable to quite comprehend what she was seeing. She recovered herself enough to request that the SFs drop their weapons.
They concurred as General Hammond entered the Gate room. "Major Carter, are you sure he poses no threat to us?"
"I'm sure, General. This is definitely Colonel O'Neill, and the symbiote is the Tok'ra Lantesh. Lantesh and I... I mean Lantesh and Jolinar were... involved. I know him. It is a connection we have."
She blushed, as if Hammond could read her mind, and knowing that Jack O'Neill would know exactly what she meant.
Hammond nodded in acknowledgement. "Colonel O'Neill, you have some explaining to do!"
Everyone took their seats at the briefing room table and it was Lantesh who was the first to speak.
"But correct me if I'm wrong... er... Lantesh," said Hammond, "But Colonel O'Neill has always shown a strong distaste for becoming a Tok'ra host. In fact, he has expressed some rather negative feelings towards the Tok'ra in general, and given the events of the last couple of years, I can't say I blame him!"
"He told me categorically he'd rather die than be a host, Sir," Sam added, by way of confirmation.
"I'll bet," Hammond replied. "But I'd rather hear that in Jack's words, if you don't mind."
Lantesh dipped his head, closing his eyes, to be replaced by the somewhat sardonic expression typical of Jack O'Neill. "General Hammond, you're right that I was never exactly 'in' to this idea of Tok'ra blending, which is why Lantesh has agreed to vacate the premises as soon as a willing host becomes available..."
"And you trust him?" the general interrupted.
"Yep, we can pretty much read each other's minds. I can't say it's been easy having this guy in my head..." he tapped his skull, "but he does kinda grow on you, and if it wasn't for him, I'd be a Goa'uld puppet by now, probably bent on your destruction. I just hope that when he leaves, he leaves a bit of his oh-so-obscure Tok'ra knowledge. They're a lot easier to tolerate when you know what's going through their snakey heads."
"What happened, sir?" Sam's patience was wearing thin. After weeks of heartbreak, believing him dead, or irretrievably lost as a Goa'uld host, she needed to know why he hadn't come back immediately.
"Basically, when Apophis' people tried to stick a snake in me, it wasn't a Goa'uld, it was Lantesh."
"I thought you were totally against taking an unwilling host?" Hammond snapped. "And yet, this is the second time we know of such a thing occurring. Do you wonder why we find you hard to trust sometimes?"
Jack spoke in his own voice again. "I know I've never liked the Tok'ra, and I've said that there isn't much difference between one snake and another, but given the choice, I'd rather have an irritating, pedantic, argumentative know-it-all like Lantesh in my head, than one of Apophis' cronies!"
Sam smiled. That definitely was Jack O'Neill talking.
"So, are you going to tell us about this 'decisive victory'?" General Hammond asked, as if knowing in advance what the answer would be.
"I wouldn't be much of a spy if I were known for my spying skills, would
I?" Jack's own voice interjected. "Yeah, well you could say you would
say that, wouldn't you?... Me, arrogant? What about that time when...
Now, that is *not* fair. I didn't bring Martouf into this!"
Listening to him arguing with the unheard voice in his head, Sam wondered briefly if Lantesh was as desperate to find a new host, as Jack was to get rid of him.
Lantesh's voice spoke again, the argument seeming temporarily to be resolved.
Hammond snorted. The leopard had not changed his spots, although it was unbelievably disquieting to see the "leopard" speaking out of Jack O'Neill's mouth.
Hammond bristled, but tried to keep his voice regular as he pressed the intercom. "Sergeant Siler, kindly report to the briefing room, and show Colonel O'N... Lantesh to the staff lounge room and try to keep him *away* from sensitive operations - I will not have our security compromised more than it has already been."
"So Sam," said Jack, a little awkwardly, "how's the leg?"
Sam shrugged. "Oh, you know, sir, healing, slowly."
"What I heard is that you almost lost it."
Sam laughed rather artificially. "Well, I don't know where you heard that from. You know what a rumour mill this place is!"
"I heard it from Jacob. He said you might never return to active service."
"You spoke to Dad? About me? He had no right..."
"He's your father, Carter! And I'm your CO. Of course he had the right!"
She nodded and looked at her feet. "Okay, okay, point taken. I've still got a few surgeries to go, and Janet says they haven't given up on me yet. Anyway, how is Dad?"
"He's fine, just worried about you. He said... he said you missed me."
"Of course I missed you," Sam replied, not meeting his eyes. Her voice was flat.
"Oh no, he said you *really* missed me." There was a twinkle in Jack's eye. He was enjoying it.
"What's that supposed to mean, sir?" she retorted.
Jack shrugged. "Oh, nothing. It's just nice to be missed, that's all."
Sam knocked softly on the door to the colonel's quarters, uncertain of the response. All she knew was that Lantesh wanted to speak to her. General Hammond had reinforced this request with an order, hoping that Lantesh would perhaps be a little more forthcoming with the woman he obviously admired.
The door was opened by Jack. Although they shared the same body, Sam could tell by the subtle differences in facial expression. "Hey, Carter, come to let me out of my cage? I promise Lantesh and I will be good boys and not play with the toys."
"Sorry, Colonel, no can do," she replied, unable to suppress a grin.
"Oh, you want to speak to the snake-head?" He seemed a little crest-fallen at the prospect, and slumped onto the bed, leaving Sam to struggle with her crutches to sit in the chair.
Jack lowered his chin, and blinked slowly. When his eyes opened, they glowed golden. Lantesh was in control.
He sat up, and perched on the edge of the bed, leaning forwards earnestly.
Sam started at hearing Martouf's name, the vision of his eyes pleading with her, as his hand aimed the weapon. She shook her head, sadly. "I shot him, Lantesh."
"But he loved Jolinar, Lantesh."
Lantesh nodded.
This was too painful to hear. Sam had always suspected that Martouf's feelings for her were more than just their mutual connection to Jolinar,but much as she would have liked it to be so, her feelings did not reciprocate. "I didn't feel... the same for him."
Lantesh seemed sad but unsurprised.
Sam was confused by the easy way the Tok'ra slipped from the singular identity to the plural. Martouf loved her. Did Lantesh?
As if reading her mind, Lantesh spoke.
"I am glad you survived, Lantesh," said Sam, searching his face in a way she would not have dared, had he spoken to her in the host's voice.
He knelt before her taking her hands in his, and sensing little resistance to this move, he grew bolder and leaned forwards to kiss her.
Lantesh was kissing her, but it was Jack's lips that met hers. She accepted his kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him harder and more passionately than she had ever kissed before.
The metal crutches clattered to the floor, and their embrace became more intense. Not pausing to break the kiss, Lantesh lifted Sam from the chair and carefully laid her on the bed.
At some point, Sam's mind frantically sought to remind herself that this was not "professional conduct", but she was in too deep. This was Lantesh, not Colonel O'Neill. There were no regulations against a relationship with a symbiotic alien.
Jack woke with a start, to find himself in bed with his 2IC.
He lay still, his breathing shallow, afraid to move, struggling to convince himself that this was some wonderful, dream and not the end of both of their careers. Not that he would miss his own, but a court martial would inevitably mean the end of Sam's promising future, and it pained him to think that he, or at least the symbiote within him, could be responsible for that.
Gathering up the kind of will-power he didn't know he possessed, Jack got up, taking care not to wake her. Lantesh, you Son-of-a...! he thought bitterly.
He did not speak out loud, but Sam stirred in her sleep. She mumbled his name. His name. His heart leapt but this emotion could not disguise the panic rising in his breast. Lantesh spoke in his mind
Jack knew that he was right, but jealousy against his symbiote was an easier emotion to cope with than all the conflicting ones flying around his head at that moment. "You took advantage of her! You don't understand! This'll destroy her career! It is against our... laws."
"It's complicated. I'm her superior."
"Hey, hey! I didn't 'choose' anyone! You were in control last night, remember? I'm just the co-pilot."
"Oh, so now you're saying that that was my idea?"
"*You* kissed her! *You* made love to her! Heck, I don't even *remember* what happened!"
"Sam was with you last night, Lantesh, not me. She would never break the regs like that. She has too much to lose."
Jack did not reply. Instead, he rearranged the blankets over Sam, struggling to overcome the feelings that were competing with the jealousy he was feeling. Sam mumbled in her sleep and Jack gave in to temptation a little, kissing her tenderly on the cheek.
If Jack had imagined that Sam would wake in horror at her actions the night before, he was mistaken. As he completed getting dressed, she opened her eyes and smiled at him, dreamily. "Hey. Been up long?"
"No, no, I was just... er... getting dressed." Jack felt flustered and embarrassed. He looked around for her clothes, but before he could locate them, Sam sat up in the bed, smiling dreamily.
"I think you should... er..." he motioned with his hand. "Cover up."
Sam stared at him in amused confusion. "Jack, what's got into you? I thought we were..."
"That was Lantesh. OK?"
Her face fell, and a blush spread across her cheeks. "I-I knew that. Of course. I just thought..."
"Here!" Jack threw her her tee-shirt, and turned his back on her.
Sam silently got dressed, struggling to smother her tears.
Jack felt terrible, torn between the desire to throw his arms around her, and embarrassment at what had happened between them. He cursed Lantesh for putting him in this position, and he cursed himself for being such a coward. God! Why did he have to go and fall in love with his own 2IC? It was an impossible situation.
In the lounge-room reserved for SG1, the atmosphere between Jack and Sam was icy, and the atmosphere between Jack and his symbiote was worse.
Sam's face was taut and pale, and the colonel dare not meet her eyes.
Instead, he messed around with a pencil, trying to twirl it between his fingers, ignoring the sense of disapproval Lantesh silently radiated in his mind.
Suddenly, they heard Teal'c and Daniel's voices echoing down the corridor. "...but telling you, Daniel Jackson, would have severely compromised O'Neill's safety. On my honour as a warrior, I could not risk that."
"Yeah, OK, Teal'c, but can't you understand I'm just a little bit insulted by that? This must be the half dozenth time that you or Jack haven't told me something because it might breech security. I'm beginning to get the idea that you don't trust me!"
"It is not a matter of trust, Daniel Jackson."
"What you put Sam through! And you didn't say one word to give her hope. I've been trying to help her come to terms with never seeing Jack again, and you knew all along that Jack was fine!"
"I knew no such thing, Daniel Jackson. The mission was highly risky.
O'Neill's chances of avoiding being a Goa'uld host were extremely minimal. Such a thing had never been tried before. I was deeply distressed to see Major Carter's emotional state and I tried to suggest that there may be a satisfactory outcome to this situation, but to say more could have compromised O'Neill's chances of success."
They stood in the doorway, and it seemed a lifetime before both became aware of Jack's and Sam's eyes on them. "Hey, Jack!" exclaimed Daniel, suddenly realising he was being observed. "I can't believe you're all right!" He moved towards Jack, intending to embrace him.
"Daniel." Jack broke free from the hug rather abruptly, and acknowledged him as if he'd just been on a couple of days leave. "Teal'c."
Daniel looked from Jack to Sam and back again. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Err... am I missing something here?"
Sam moved towards him on her crutches and cautiously leaned forwards to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm so glad you're back," she said quietly, her face bleak. She indicated for him to hold the door for her and regaining her balance on the crutches, fled down the corridor.
He looked at Jack accusingly.
"Yeah, well, quite a lot's happened since you last saw me," Jack mumbled, looking into the middle distance.
"General Hammond has fully briefed us as to recent events concerning yourself and the Tok'ra Lantesh," said Teal'c.
"What's up with Sam, Jack? I thought she'd be overjoyed to see you again." Daniel glanced towards the open doorway, through which the major had fled. "She's *really* missed you, you know?"
Jack swallowed and looked down. "No, we're swell. Just swell. We're friends, comrades, CO and second-in-command, brothers-in-arms, whatever... whatever."
"Jack?" Daniel frowned worriedly.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "O'Neill, is there something concerning you about Major Carter?"
"Why should anything concern me about Major Carter?" Jack snapped, rather too quickly. "Apart from the fact that she's been severely wounded, of course?"
"Jack," said Daniel, softly, "Sam's been breaking her heart these last two months. The only thing that's kept her going is the flimsy hope that maybe, just maybe, we could beat the odds and save you from the Goa'uld. So, why, when you finally turn up safe and well, did she flee the room with a face like thunder? It doesn't make any sense! What the heck have you said to her?"
Jack shrugged.
"Have you guys had a fight?"
"N-not exactly..." Jack grimaced slightly, catching Daniel's eyes for the barest second.
"How 'Not exactly'?"
"We haven't exactly had a fight, and Lantesh and Sam have been getting on just great."
"Heck, Jack!"
Daniel, his eyes wide with the shock of a sudden realisation, stared at the colonel, turned round on his heels and hurried out of the room, towards Sam's quarters.
Teal'c frowned. "Daniel Jackson seems to have reached an alarming conclusion about the nature of your relationship with Major Carter."
"Ya think?"
"I do indeed, O'Neill. It would not seem logical that Major Carter is upset at your return. She cares for you greatly."
"For me?"
"What do you intend to do about it, O'Neill?"
"What can I do about it, Teal'c? You know the rules around here. I'm not allowed to be in love with her, and she's not allowed to be in love with me. Period. End of story. Full stop. For ever and ever, amen."
"Unless you resign from the SGC."
"Yeah, there is that."
The now-familiar sound of the un-authorised traveller alarm rang through the corridors of the SGC.
By the time they arrived at the gate room, the Tok'ra had stepped through the event horizon, and were being greeted by General Hammond.
Sam saw immediately that the party was headed by Jacob.
"Dad!" she called out, as she struggled to reach him.
"Sammie! How's my little girl doing? Those doctors treating you right?"
"I'm doing OK, Dad, and everyone's being really great." Her voice was somewhat flat, suggesting that she was anything but all right.
"I'd forgotten how long non-blended humans take to heal. I wish you'd reconsider Blending..."
"Dad, you know why I can't consider it. Please! Not now"
"I'm sorry. I promised I wouldn't mention it, but I hate to see you suffering like this. I just want to see you well again."
Sam frowned. "I think it's Colonel O'Neill who really needs your help."
Her voice was formal, with an unusual coldness when she mentioned her C.O.'s name.
"Of course," Jacob gave her a curious look, before turning his attention to Jack, who was standing rather stiffly next to her. "How are you doing, Jack?"
"OK, sir. Lantesh has been great, but if you'll forgive me, I'd like him to move out now."
"We have found him a new host. Lantesh, I hope you'll approve. I think you will."
A hooded figure stepped forwards at Jacob's beckoning, and removed her hood.
"Rosha was Jolinar's host," Sam explained to the surprised on-lookers.
"And Martouf's mate."
A broad smile crossed Lantesh's face.
Rosha ran forwards and flung her arms around Lantesh, tears welling up in her eyes. "Lantesh, my darling, my love! I thought I'd lost you forever! Jolinar was forced to jump hosts to save me, intending to find Martouf and then return to me, but I waited for such a long time, and she did not return."
Rosha held him in her arms, burying her tear-stained face in his hair.
"I know. The others told me. I have been wandering the galaxy, 'gating from one planet to another, until I was found by one of the Tok'ra. When they told me about Jolinar, and then of Martouf, I thought I would die from grief. They told me not to ask of you, so I presumed that you too had perished."
She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes. "Be part of me, Lantesh."
Their lips met in a kiss, and convulsions tore through both of their bodies. Rosha opened her eyes and they glowed golden, as Jack dropped her unceremoniously to the ground, stepping back, blood trickling from his mouth.
"W-what the heck just happened?" he spluttered, clutching his throat in agony and staring in shock as the crumpled body of Rosha before him.
Jacob rushed forwards and helped her to her feet.
"Lantesh?" gasped Jack, realising suddenly that the voice in his head had gone.
She smiled weakly.
Sam resisted the impulse to run to Jack's side, momentarily forgetting both her anger towards him and her mobility problems. Instead, she turned her attention to the woman in her father's arms. "Rosha, are you OK?"
Lantesh closed her eyes as the host took over control of the body.
"Samantha?"
"Y-yes. Are you OK?"
Rosha smiled a contented smile. "As Lantesh said, we are one. We grieve the loss of Jolinar and Martouf, but we grieve as one. Thank you, Jack, for making this possible."
Recovering himself a little, Jack raised a hand and nodded in acknowledgement. He struggled to speak with his injured throat. "You OK with this, Rosha?"
Sam shot at look at the colonel, but Rosha simply smiled back. "It is good to share a body with my love. We have been blended in spirit for 200 years. Now we are blended in body."
"Oh. Okay then." Jack raised his hands and stepped back as if the strong emotions of the scene were somewhat harder to take than a serious combat situation.
Rosha's serene smile comforted Sam. She knew, in some mysterious way, that Jolinar and Martouf were together again, their memories held by Rosha and her symbiote Lantesh, the living and the dead loving as one, as they had done through life.
Rosha approached Sam, bringing down her chin and raising it again, indicating a transfer of control back to the symbiote.
Flashing a smile, Rosha replaced her hood and moved back with the other Tok'ra through the re-opened wormhole.
Despite her fury at him, Sam was concerned to see that Jack's mouth was still bleeding, some minutes after the Tok'ras departure.
"When Jolinar blended with me, she left little more than a spot of blood," she said, as Dr. Fraiser encouraged him onto a gurney.
Fraiser examined his mouth with the penlight again, and frowned. "Hmmm. It seems that, in his enthusiasm to blend with Rosha, Lantesh has accidentally damaged Jack's throat. I'm afraid he's haemorrhaging and losing quite a bit of blood."
"What?" Jack tried to say, rather anxiously, but the blood in his mouth caused him to choke again.
Fraiser supported the back of his head, holding a kidney-shaped receiver to his mouth. "Don't worry, Colonel. We're going to have to do some minor surgery to fix you up, but it isn't as serious as it looks."
Jack frowned as if in protest, but then resigned himself to his fate as he coughed and spluttered, waves of nausea hitting him.
Jack expected to wake up to see a concerned nurse, or Dr. Fraiser clucking over him like a mother hen, but what he actually saw was Daniel. An extremely angry Daniel.
"What are you trying to do to Sam?" Daniel demanded, as Jack attempted to finally force his eyes open, the fading weight of the anaesthetic pressing them back down.
"Sam?" he croaked, clutching his throat in pain. "Danny?"
"I know you've never been an angel. But this is lower than I ever thought you'd sink!"
Jack was confused, struggling to understand what Daniel was going on about. "Sink?"
"I'm talking about Sam, Jack. Remember her?"
"Ah, Sam..." Jack smiled, and lapsed back into unconsciousness. Daniel glared furiously at him, but had to wait until the anaesthetic finally wore off.
The next time Jack awoke, Daniel was sitting on a chair next to him, twiddling his thumbs. He seemed to have calmed down somewhat, but his face was still anything but friendly. "Awake now, Jack?" His question was abrupt.
Jack nodded, his throat in agony. "What's the problem, Danny?"
"You slept with Sam!"
"No, no," whispered Jack croakily, his addled brain frantically trying to think of ways to cover his butt, and wondering just how much Daniel knew. "I'd never do that. A-against regs."
"I am not interested in military regulations, Jack. I'm interested in my friend, Sam and what you've done."
"It was Lantesh," Jack insisted stubbornly.
"Lantesh didn't throw her out like so much trash!"
Jack winced. He hadn't thought that that was how Sam might have seen it.
"I didn't want her to lose her career over me."
Daniel looked down, frowning unhappily. "It's too late, Jack."
"Too late?"
"Sam's already gone to General Hammond and told him that you and she are having an affair. She's resigned, Jack."
Jack shut his eyes and fell back onto the bed. "Damn. My fault."
Daniel nodded angrily. "Yes, Jack. Your fault. I suggest if you still love her, you tell her that."
When Jack woke for the third time, the pain in his throat had settled down to a dull ache and Daniel was nowhere to be seen. He wondered briefly if he'd imagined it.
He put his hands behind his head and sighed, closing his eyes as he did so. "Sam," he breathed. "Sam, I've been a complete idiot. A total pig. I don't deserve for you to love me."
"I'm not arguing," said a female voice, some feet away.
He opened his eyes, shock registering on his face as he saw that Samantha Carter was approaching his bed, with a slight touch of amusement lighting her eyes. "I'm sorry about earlier," he said, feeling intensely embarrassed.
"Good," she said. "Did you think you could pull a stunt like that with me and get away with it?" She deftly manoeuvred the crutches and lowered herself into a chair.
"It... It was... Sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm a mess. You should probably leave me alone."
"Oh no." Her voice was strangely stern. "I'm not letting you out of my sight. Not now." She pulled up a chair and took his hands. He resisted the urge to pull her into the bed with him then and there.
"Daniel told me you'd resigned."
"I did. Hammond tore it up. He said an affair with a Tok'ra wasn't against regulations."
She smiled and to Jack, it seemed as if her face lit up like some heavenly vision. "Sam, I can't do this any more. I'm in love with you."
Sam looked down and closed her eyes. "I know, Jack. I'm not sure I can, either. Everyone knows how I feel about you and it's never going to be the same again. I thought my career was the most important thing in my life, but when I busted my leg and lost you, it suddenly didn't seem very important at all."
Jack gazed at her hands in his. "I'm sorry about the leg. How is it?"
She shrugged bitterly. "Fraiser says I may never be fit enough for active service."
"I'm sorry."
"At least I'm a scientist, eh sir?"
"I hate scientists. I can't believe I've fallen in love with one."
Sam grinned at him, a tear in her eyes, and then, careful to maintain her balance, stood up and planted a kiss on his cheek.
He let go of her hand and sat up, wrapping his arms around her waist. He looked her in the eye and then cautiously brought his lips to hers.
They kissed for some minutes, oblivious to the possibility that they were being observed, and when they parted lips, their eyes remained locked in a gaze.
"I have to be with you," she said, her voice charged with intensity.
Jack nodded, aware at that moment that he'd do anything to be with her.
Anything.
"But we both have so much to lose," she whispered.
His mind filled with the borrowed memories of Lantesh and Martouf. He felt the intensity of their mutual love for Jolinar and her host, Rosha. They loved as one, and he knew, for once in his life, that such love was worth everything. "What is there to lose, but love?" he said.
Sam looked into his eyes and knew the truth. "Nothing," she breathed.
"Nothing of any consequence."
On days like these, being a doctor totally *sucked*, thought Dr Janet Fraiser, as she finished her coffee. She picked up the bundle of papers and steeled herself for the onerous task. As a doctor, she'd frequently been the bearer of bad tidings, but this patient was a friend and the news was devastating.
As she approached her office she was somewhat relieved to see that Sam was not alone. Jack O'Neill was sitting next to her, holding her hand. Now that Sam was no longer in SG-1, and consequently, no longer part of Jack's chain of command, they didn't have to hide their feelings for one another, and their relationship had been growing steadily. Good, thought Janet. She'll need all the moral support she can get.
They both looked up as Fraiser entered, immediately reading her expression as a sign to prepare themselves for the worst. She sat down rather formerly at her desk, and shuffled some papers about, coughing nervously. "I've got the latest test results back," she said, still not meeting Sam's eyes, "I'm afraid it's not good."
Sam gripped Jack's hand tighter. "The circulation, it's... "
"Not improving, no Sam. In fact, it's deteriorated alarmingly. We've tried everything we know, but your leg keeps getting worse. We hoped the last arterial bypass would do the trick, but..."
Sam shook her head and looked down, struggling to hide her tears. Jack placed a comforting arm around her shoulders and shut his eyes momentarily, feeling her pain. "So, what now, Doctor?" he said.
Fraiser got up from her desk and crouched down in front of her friend.
"Sam," she said softly, taking her hand. "I'm afraid your leg is dying and if we let it continue like this, it will poison your whole body. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Sam nodded slowly, seeming to shrink into the chair. "There's only one thing left we can do to save you. If you're going to live, we will have to amputate your leg. I'm sorry. I wish there was something more we could do."
Sam swallowed hard. "No", she said softly.
"If you don't let us, you'll die," said Fraiser.
She looked over at Jack and was shocked to see tears welling up in his eyes. "Please, Sam," he whispered.
Sam looked up, controlling her emotions with every ounce of strength.
"There is another way."
Jack's face blanched with horror and he shook his head. "Oh no! No, Sam! You can't do that!"
"What's she talking about?" said Fraiser.
"Blending. Tok'ra blending," Jack explained hurriedly, his voice agonised.
Fraiser shuddered, remembering how Sam had suffered when she had become the unwilling host to Jolinar; the alien memories forced into her brain; the emotional scars from which she had never fully recovered. "Jack's right, Sam. You can't do that."
"What choice do I have, Janet?"
"If you want to avoid amputation?"
Sam nodded.
Fraiser shrugged unhappily. "None, I suppose. Look, you haven't got much time. We need to act soon if we are to avoid further complications, but I can give you a couple of days to think it through." She took her friend's hand. "I honestly don't know what I'd do in your situation, but I am your friend, and I'm here for you. If you need to talk, just ask."
And with that, she left, succeeding in reaching the empty corridor before bursting into tears.
As Fraiser left, Jack and Sam clung to one another in silence, struggling to come to terms with the terrible dilemma that was facing them. "Jack, can you contact my dad, please?" said Sam, eventually. "I need to talk to him."
"Sure." Jack's voice was heavy with conflicting emotions. "Sam?"
"Yes?"
"Whatever happens, whatever decision you make..." He closed his eyes momentarily and took a deep breath. "I want you to know, I love you and nothing's going to change that."
"Even with a snake inside me?"
"Even then," he sighed, kissing her forehead. "Just don't make me live without you. I can cope with anything else, but I'd rather die than lose you, Sam."
"Oh Jack," she sighed, holding him close. "I'm so afraid!"
"Yeah. I know. But you're gonna get through this. We're gonna get through this. Snake or no snake. Amputation or not."
Near the ring platform on Vorash, Jack embraced Sam, seeming unable or unwilling to tear himself away from her kisses. "I have to go, Sammie," he said. "I promised Hammond that I'd help them out back on Earth. Are you sure you can't come with me?"
There were tears in Sam's eyes as she touched his cheek. "I know we've only had a couple of weeks together since the wedding, but we're in the middle of the biggest war in history and I've got work to do here."
Jack pulled her in for a hug and stroked her hair. It seemed to be growing quickly - already it was past her shoulders. "Hey, if USAF regulations couldn't keep us apart, what's a few Goa'uld?"
Sam smiled. "Well, we did have to sacrifice our careers and move planets..."
Jack frowned in mock concern.
"...but I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant being with you!"
They kissed again, and when Jack looked up, he saw Rosha waiting in the shadows. "Rosha, can I trust you to look after Sammie when I'm gone?"
Rosha flashed a smile. "Of course, Jack, but she really doesn't take much looking after. Not now that her leg has healed."
Jack winced. "Will I ever get used to this?"
said the Tok'ra symbiote inhabiting the body of his beloved, with a fond, yet slightly teasing smile.
"OK, Be'ther, I love you too, Baby." He kissed her, but it was more the kiss one would give to the twin sister at a wedding. "Now, don't you and Sammie fight!"
Sam took over her own body again. "We'll be fine, Jack. Please don't fuss - you're getting like Daniel! We're going to be extremely busy the next few days. Give General Hammond my regards - oh, and Dad says thanks for the dinner invitation. He'll be taking it up soon."
Jack broke away from her and stepped under the rings. "Will do. Oh, and Sammie?"
"Yes?"
"Did I ever tell you that you were the most beautiful woman in the universe?"
Sam smiled sardonically. "Yes, every time we bring up the issue of you blending with a Tok'ra."
"Hey, I know I've changed my opinions a lot recently," Jack retorted indignantly, "but I've gotta get used to the idea. I like having my brain to myself."
"Sure, Jack, just don't leave it too long. I didn't give up all this just to be without you for the next 200 years!"
He grinned cheekily, and blew her a kiss as the rings descended. "You make me immortal, hon!"
Three seconds later, Colonel O'Neill, USAF (retired) disappeared.
Major Samantha O'Neill, USAF (retired) stood smiling at the empty space where her husband had stood a moment before, then turned round and marched purposefully back to her workshop. She had a date with a nacquada reactor and some very interesting theories on energy inversion within the wormhole subspace matrix...
THE END.
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