Thoughts: Tok'ra
Thoughts: Tok'ra
by Elise Hudson
TITLE: Thoughts: Tok'Ra
AUTHOR: Elise Hudson
EMAIL: elisemarie@cwcom.net
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: Tok'ra
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 2; Part of the Thoughts series
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Jack's thoughts
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I'm stood in the briefing room looking at my Captain. She went through some sort of hypnotherapy this morning to try and remember some of the memories that Jolinar left in her mind. I wasn't present during the hypnotherapy. I couldn't not after the last time when we thought Daniel was dead.
I doubt what her dream told her though. I don't believe that what she remembered was really a memory. After I tell her that Daniel says that he doubts these 'Tok'ra' are good. I keep my eyes on her at all times as she tries to convince us all that we should check out this planet. I still doubt what she believes, but she says it all with such confidence that I agree. I'm putting all of my trust in her just as I've put my life in her hands many times before. Let's hope that nothing goes wrong.
Something's gone wrong. We've been ambushed by a group of people that Sam believes to be Tok'ra, but they deny everything. While I watch them all have a conversation my mind keeps wandering back to the gate room just before we gated here. Sam had said she would catch up with us and when she did it was clear to all of us that something was wrong. She's been distant for a couple of weeks now, ever since our medal ceremony. She hasn't let it affect her work, but it's obvious there's something bothering her and she won't tell me what it is. I'm just glad that she is at least talking to Daniel, I assume she has anyway.
My thoughts are interrupted by Sam talking to one of these guys. It's not the talking that everyone else has been doing. This talking seems more personal and I don't like it. This guy, I think his name's Martouf, says that he trusts Sam and when they tell us to leave our weapons behind Sam instantly agrees. I don't, however, because I'm not biased in any of this. I don't *know* any of these guys from hidden memories that may be doctored.
So, I wait for Daniel and Teal'c to agree. They do so I agree with them.
We're in a room in one of the funny Tok'ra tunnels and the Martouf guy questions Sam about Jolinar. I glance at her worriedly as she tries to explain what I know is a hard event for her to discuss. All she ever told me about the experience was that she didn't like it. She doesn't talk to me much about feelings and stuff probably because she doesn't think I'm capable of feeling anything. If only she knew the truth.
She stutters as she tries to find the right words to explain what happened to both her and Jolinar. I know that this situation is made ten times worse by Martouf being present. When I asked her earlier if she knew any of these people she said that she had some sort of bond with the Martouf guy.
They start to question her without caring that she's hurting so I jump in to defend her. I have to. I can't stand there and see the pain on her face. As the Tok'ra and I continue talking I can't help but notice all the looks that the Martouf guy keeps sending her, looks that are unsettling me. Just what kind of bond was Sam talking about?
The female Tok'ra has just announced that they need one of us to be a host. Daniel and I decline and then we all look at Sam. She does not look like a happy camper. She says something that amounts to a 'no' and then walks out. Martouf is the first to follow her and I just can't leave them alone so I follow.
Martouf suggests that we go up to the surface for a walk and I agree with him. He turns to me saying that he was only talking about himself and Sam. He asks me if I understand that and I don't. Why should I understand that he wants to be alone with my captain, my Sam? Alone to explore this 'bond' that they have. Why on *Earth* should I understand that?
Sam turns to me and asks me if she can go. I badly want to say no, no she can't go and talk to this guy that I already despise and it's not just because he has a snake in his head. I just can't tell her no though and I reluctantly agree. I immediately follow with a lame cover up about being home by eleven.
I watch them walk out and I hate it. She told me that he's the one that sticks out in her memory most and I don't want her to discover why he does. I'm her CO and I'm not just trying to protect Captain Carter. I want to protect Sam. Is that so bad?
Garshaw has told us that we can't leave, we have to stay here until the Tok'ra move on. They're seeming more and more like Gou'ald all the time. And then Makepeace and SG-3 walk in. I ask Makepeace what he's doing here and he announces that Sam's dad is in the hospital in a serious condition. Is that why she's been so distant lately?
I turn to Garshaw and demand that Sam be let go. Garshaw still says no and then Daniel tries to reason with her. Daniel says that Sam's father is dying. Okay that is serious and I have to admit that the fact that Daniel knows is troubling. Not because I don't like *him* knowing, more because she didn't tell me. Am I really that unapproachable?
I glance at her and can see how hard she is trying to hide her feelings. I swear I'll get her home.
We're all waiting around in some room. Eight of us with absolutely nothing to do. Sam stands and walks over to Makepeace. She enquires about her father's condition, but Makepeace can't tell her much. She then gets angry shouting that her Dad doesn't even know why she isn't with him. I tell her that I'll get her home and I mean it. I don't think she believes me because she looks at me questioningly and I look away.
Then she totally shocks me by talking about all the Tok'ra need are hosts and for a split second I worry about what she's considering. I question her idea and she says that if she had known that Jolinar was a good snake the experience may have been enlightening. I remind her that she hated the whole Jolinar experience, but I agree with her concerning her Dad. Let's hope that the Tok'ra agree with our plan.
General Jacob Carter is now a Tok'ra, he has a better chance of living now and we're free to go. The bad news is there was a spy here and now the Gou'ald are attacking. Everyone else has escaped, but Jacob can't be moved yet because he's too weak. Sam offers to stay behind and Garshaw forbids it. She pleads with me after I say no and I agree. I know how much her father means to her and that she can't leave him. So I leave her behind, yet again, but this time with Martouf. Why is it that I don't want to do either?
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