Thoughts: Show and Tell
Thoughts: Show and Tell
by Elise Hudson
TITLE: Thoughts: Show and Tell
AUTHOR: Elise Hudson
EMAIL: elisemarie@cwcom.net
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: Show and Tell
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 2; Part of the Thoughts series
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Sam's thoughts
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Captain Samantha Carter
I'm stood in the infirmary with the General, Jack, Daniel and a boy. The boy came through the gate earlier when the iris opened though we didn't give it permission to. So far all we know about the boy (he has no name) is that his homeworld was attacked by the Gou'ald and that his mother is in the room with us, though we can't see anyone else.
The General asks the boy a question and the boy announces that he now has a name. He is to be called Charlie. I glance at Jack immediately. I don't know much about his son Charlie, but I know it is a very sore spot for the Colonel. Daniel told me about it. He said that Charlie died when he shot himself with Jack's gun and that Jack had taken it badly. So to hear that this boy now has the name Charlie is worrying to say the least. Jack does not look at us, he shrugs and throws an apologetic look over his shoulder, but then he turns back to the... I mean Charlie.
I don't think this is wise. Charlie has major medical problems and Jack has called him his son's name. If this Charlie, God forbid it, but if this Charlie dies I don't know how Jack will react.
Dad's home! Charlie told us about these aliens that want to kill us (aren't we popular?), but the trouble is we can't see them. They're out of phase with us so cannot be seen. Gou'ald and Tok'ra can sense them so we've sent for my Dad. Jack wasn't with us to greet my Dad, which is surprising. He's always in the thick of things. When there's an emergency he runs straight to the source, or the armoury, except with the Jolinar thing. Janet told me after I regained consciousness that Jack had stayed with me even though there was an emergency. I'd been so withdrawn for days that it didn't register. By the time it had it was too late for me to thank him. I had wanted to though. I'd wanted to thank him for staying with me when I had nearly died, but I couldn't. The moment had passed.
After my Dad arrived we went to the infirmary to see if there really was a Reetu on the base. I walked in and Jack was holding Charlie tightly. Charlie can sense Gou'ald and he was afraid of my Dad so Jack was comforting him. I think Jack is getting too involved. Charlie was genetically engineered to see both us and the Reetu, this caused major internal problems. He's dying and Jack will be devastated. I can see it on his face now as we sit in the briefing room discussing the Reetu problem and Charlie. Jack is very angry, annoyed and slightly confused at what the Reetu have done to Charlie. I agree with him, but it's the way he's acting. It's troubling and confusing. He's angry about how Charlie has been treated, but not once in all of this discussion has he called Charlie 'Charlie', it's been 'the kid'. He's also promised 'the kid' that nothing will happen to 'mother'. I don't get him. He obviously cares for Charlie, but he keeps him at a distance by calling him 'the kid' in front of everyone else. He's trying to hide his true feelings from everyone else, to keep up his mask of being unable to care. I know better though because I do the same thing.
I've never really called him Jack. I called him it when he was about to die and I pretended to be his ex-wife. That was about it. I don't use his name because I don't want him to suspect my feelings. At first I'd told myself that it was because he was my commanding officer, but then I still called him 'colonel' or 'sir' even when off duty, even when other higher ranking officers were called by their first name. It makes me keep him at a distance, makes me remember the regulations and that we can't be together. Even if he did feel anything for me other than friendship, we could never be together.
Charlie's leaving. He collapsed after 'mother' died and Jack was injured. Jack had a tough choice to make. He could either allow Charlie to die or let him become a Tok'ra. He had to choose whether to let this Charlie suffer the same fate as his son Charlie, or let him become something that Jack doesn't really like. He chose to let Charlie live.
I'm still worried about him. Just before we gated to the planet with the Reetu on, Jack had come into the gate room and he had looked so upset. He had just been with Charlie and I have no idea what had happened, but Jack was more quiet than usual.
Anyway, we're stood in the gate room waiting for Charlie to enter so that he can go home with my Dad. Charlie enters the room holding Janet's hand and Jack walks over to them. I hear Jack say something about they can visit each other after Charlie announces that he wants to stay with Jack. It must be breaking his heart, both Jack's and Charlie's, because I know it's breaking mine. Jack is saying goodbye to this little boy who has rapidly found a place into his heart.
I watch Jack as he watches Charlie walk through the gate. He bows his head slightly and then flicks his eyes around the room before looking back up at the gate. I'd say he's embarrassed about feeling these feelings in front of everyone. I can see it on his face that he wants to run from the room so no-one will see the emotion on his face.
I wish I could help him.
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