Free At Last
Free At Last
by eadelon
Title: Free At Last
Author: eadelon
Email: heartsong72@yahoo.com
Category: Angst, Challenge, Romance
Episode related: 103 Emancipation
Season: Season 1
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: rape
Summary: What if The guys didn't get to Sam before Turgahn "Partook of his latest aquisition"? Challenge #1875
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Free At Last
By EAdelon
Title: Free At Last
Author: EAdelon
Email: eadelon@aol.com
Status: Completed
Category: Romance, hurt/comfort, angst, slightly AU-mostly regarding Sha're's status Pairings: Sam/Jack, Sam/Daniel
Episode: Emancipation
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: Rape and all that goes with it. Disclaimer: No profit intended, Don't own them, blah, blah, etc, etc. Don't own song lyrics either. They're Jim Brickman's from his Destiny CD. Author's Note: Feedback welcomed and appreciated.
"Where is she?" Colonel Jack O'Neil demanded.
"It appears that my son took her." Mughal said.
"Took her where?" Daniel asked.
"My people say she has been sold to Turghan, a powerful warlord."
Jack grimaced and then got concerned.
"We gotta go find her." He said finally.
"Yes of course. I will take you to her. I will talk to Turghan and see what I can do to help Captain Carter."
As the men of SG-1 journeyed to Sam's location they talked with Mughal and learned more about the customs of this place.
"If we wait till tomorrow morning I can offer a trade."
"What will happen to Captain Carter if we wait?" Teal'c asked.
"Tonight Turghan will partake of his newest acquisition."
O'Neil felt his stomach tighten at that remark.
"Not a chance in Hell." He said gripping his gun tighter.
"Then we must make haste." Teal'c spoke up, "SamanthaCarter must not be treated in this way."
The men stepped up their pace. The sun made its way across the sky as they traveled and by the time they were in sight of Turghan's camp it was dark. Jack ran to what appeared to be the main tent and pushed through the flaps. Inside was what appeared to be an audience chamber. It was empty save for a few lit oil lamps. Panic and fear twisted in O'Neil's stomach. Please, oh please let her be all right! He repeated the thought like a mantra.
"Jack, the camp seems to be deserted." Daniel said rushing in.
"But they left fires burning. It's like they left suddenly." Jackson continued.
Then Teal'c barged in.
"O'Neil. I believe I know where they have taken her. There are tracks leading east. Mughal says there is a ceremonial clearing about 4 kilometers from here."
"Let's go."
Sam Carter struggled against the ropes that held her bound. She was sleeping in the tent with the other women when she was grabbed and bound. Then she was tossed onto a horse and a guard rode behind her. Soon all the men in the camp were following them. The women were whimpering, as if they knew what was coming. This unnerved Sam. This can't be good, she thought. The women were forced to come as well. After riding for a while a clearing came into view. A large platform stood in the middle with drapes surrounding it. The drapes were pulled aside to reveal big pillows covering the stone slab. Standing in front of it was Turghan. He smiled triumphantly, ferally. Sam was brought in front of him and removed from the horse. She was flanked on either side by guards. At a signal from Turghan, Sam's robes were pulled open to reveal the bikini-like underclothing (think Princess Leia in Jabba's palace) she was made to wear. Turghan's lustful gaze raked her from head to toe and back to rest on her breasts and then her lips.
For the first time, Sam felt fear. With the two rather large guards on either side of her and Turghan in front of her she had no way to escape. But as she realized what was coming her military training kicked in and she was in soldier mode. Grabbing her skirts she tried to make a break for it, but was stopped abruptly as the guards grabbed hold of her arms and forced her closer to Turghan...and the bed.
Jack and the guys ran as fast as they could. Mughal rode behind on his horse. Daniel skidded to a stop when he thought he heard something. The rest stopped too.
"What is it Daniel?" Jack asked.
"Not sure." They all listened and it became apparent they were hearing screams and other sounds of a struggle. Jack's eyes darkened in response.
"It's Sam." He said forgetting rank for the moment.
They ran in the direction of the screams and rounded a bend to see the ceremonial clearing. Daniel swallowed hard at what he saw. The tribe was seated around minding there own business while behind the curtained bed Sam fought for her life and sanity. Jack ran past him and he soon snapped out of it and followed. There were guards around the whole bed, which Teal's easily dispatched. Turghan was too engrossed in what he was doing to notice. Jack ripped the curtain away and grabbed Turghan with his bare hands throwing him off the slab to land 10 feet away. Sam was in too much of a state of shock to recognize the guys. She lay there whimpering, breathing hard and exhibiting all the signs of great fear. Jack was enraged and went after Turghan. Daniel went to Sam. "Sam, it's Daniel. We're going to take you home. You're safe now." He said soothingly. He didn't bother to ask if she was ok. That much was obvious. She was most definitely not ok. He heard the sounds of fists hitting flesh. Fearing he would do serious damage, Daniel asked Teal'c to stop the Colonel from killing Turghan. Teal'c grabbed the Colonel while Daniel gathered Sam into his arms trying to shield her state of undress as much as he could with his jacket.
"O'Neil, we must go. SamanthaCarter needs to see Dr. Frazier." Teal'c reasoned with him.
Jack's military control kicked back in and he turned to see Daniel holding a now unconscious Captain Carter. Mughal had waited in the bush for them. When they were far enough away they stopped for a few minutes rest. Mughal retrieved a blanket from the saddlebag of his horse and handed it to Jack who wrapped Sam in it.
They drank from their canteens while Jack gently brushed the hair from his 2IC's face. She was awake but would not talk or anything. She was almost catatonic. Unfortunately Jack knew that look. He'd seen it before back in his black ops days when one of his men had been caught raping a local girl. The poor girl was too shocked to do anything. The man was court marshaled and sentenced to 25 years in Leavenworth. He never knew if the girl ever completely recovered.
"Sam, " He said softly, "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner. So sorry this happened. You're safe now and Doc Frazier will take good care of you. And I promise I'll make it up to you. Somehow. Just please come back to us. Me and the guys need you. How else am I going to understand Daniel when he goes off on one of his never ending history lessons?" They finished their journey to the gate and after reassurances that Mughal and his people would not suffer any ill effects from their raid they departed for home with Daniel sending the medical emergency GDO code and Jack carrying Sam, cradling her close to his body as if trying to protect her.
"Simmons,"
"Yes General Hammond,"
"I'll be in my quarters if I am needed."
"Yes sir."
The General was just exiting the control room when the claxons began to sound.
"General it's SG-1 and they've sent the emergency code Sir."
"Dr. Frasier and med team to the gate room stat! SG-1 has an incoming medical emergency."
Frazier and her team skidded to a halt in the gate room with multiple gurney's and supplies at the ready. With SG-1 you never knew what to expect. The gate shimmered into existence and three concerned looking men came through. Frazier felt a moment's panic at seeing Sam in the Colonel's arms.
"What happened?" She asked Jack.
Softly so as to protect the Captain's privacy, he said, "The Captain was raped and beaten doctor." "Oh no! Sam." Dr. Frazier replied.
Jack gently laid Sam on the gurney and adjusted the blanket to keep her covered. He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb before allowing the doctor and her team to wheel her away. The three men stared after her for a minute before General Hammond got their attention.
"What happened out there gentlemen?"
"Sir, the society was reminiscent of the Mongols of Asia and they had a proprietary view of women. Sam was kidnapped and sold to a warlord. As soon as we knew we went after her. By the time we got there it was too late and the warlord was uh- taking advantage of the Captain." Daniel explained.
"She hasn't said a word since it happened." Jack put in.
"And how did you deal with this warlord?" The general asked.
"Teal'c and I taught him the finer points of respect for women." Jack said.
"All right, why don't you get yourselves cleaned up and then to the infirmary for your medicals. We will debrief in one hour. Dismissed."
"Yes sir."
The men went quietly to the locker room and silently showered and changed. Daniel closed his locker and turned around to see Jack sitting on the bench tying his shoes. He knew what Jack must have been thinking.
"It's not your fault Jack. And Sam would be the first to agree with me."
"I know, Daniel. But that doesn't change what happened."
"No it doesn't. But feeling guilty and punishing ourselves won't help Sam either. She needs our support now more than ever. We need to think of her not ourselves."
"You're right. Thanks Daniel. Are you ready to face Frazier's needles?"
"I'd rather face 100 needles than what Sam is facing," Daniel said quietly.
"Right." Jack replied soberly and then led the way out of the locker room.
After their physicals were complete the guys went to sit next to Sam. She lay almost as she had been when Jack placed her on the gurney. Her physical wounds had been bandaged and the dried blood washed away. She was asleep. Jack sat by her bed holding her hand. Teal'c stood guard at the foot of the bed and Daniel sat on the other side. Janet returned from the lab to see the men in their bedside vigil.
"Doc, how is she?" Jack asked.
"She appears to have been whipped on the back and as you can see there are various cuts and bruises on her face and hands. There were scratches and bruises on her neck and chest as well. Seems she put up a valiant fight."
"Was she uh-raped for sure?" Daniel asked.
"Yes. There were some vaginal tears and some semen present."
"Oh man." Jack said and he looked as if he might be sick.
"Jack are you ok?" Daniel asked.
"Yes. The thought of that ...with his hands on her...on second thought I think I am going to be sick." He said and made a dash for the sink behind the curtain in the infirmary.
"I ran some tests and the results should be back within 24 hours. I'll know more then. She is still in shock guys. She didn't say anything as we patched her up. Not even a whimper when we probed her wounds. I gave her a sedative and she should sleep through the night. And I want all of you to get some sleep too. She is going to need you when she wakes up and three zombies will be of no use to her."
"O'Neil, you and DanielJackson can sleep. I will stay and keep watch over CaptainCarter as I do not require sleep." Teal'c said.
Jack was reluctant to leave.
"Colonel, I promise I will let you know as soon as there is any change." Dr. Fraiser said.
He nodded and followed Jackson out of the infirmary. Several hours later Jack sat up in bed. There was no sound that startled him, no person waking him, just a strong feeling that Sam needed him. Quickly he pulled on his pants and laced his boots. He walked as fast as he could to the infirmary. He resisted the urge to run so as not to draw attention to himself if he was wrong. When he got to the infirmary he found Janet trying to calm Sam. Janet was trying to check the bandages and a wide-awake Sam was fighting against being touched.
"Let me try, Doc." Jack said going to Sam's bedside.
"Hey Sam, Doc's not going to hurt you. You are safe. Janet just wants to check your bandages," He said trying to soothe her. He tentatively reached out and brushed some stray hair from her face. To Janet's surprise Sam didn't bat his hand away. He nodded for the doctor to try again.
"Nothing is going to hurt you. We all care about you and want to see you well. You're ok. You are safe, Samantha." Jack continued talking to her soothingly and gently stroking her cheek. She looked at him, a world of hurt and fear in her eyes. As Janet tended to the wounds Sam's gaze never left Jack's face. He smiled at her. Her gaze clung to him like a lifeline.
Janet finished her ministrations and then injected a light sedative into Sam's IV. Jack watched as her eyes grew heavy and then closed. Only then did he leave her side. He followed Janet into her office.
"How did you do that?" Janet asked clearly surprised that the hardened Colonel could be so gentle.
"My son used to have nightmares and it worked with him every time." He shrugged off what he had done.
"So what happened, Doc? And where's Teal'c? "
"I sent Teal'c to his quarters an hour ago. Told him to Kel No Ream or else. Then I looked in on Sam and saw that she was awake. She seemed to be aware of her surroundings but still very afraid. I noticed that some of the bandages had soaked through and needed to be changed. When I went to touch her she pushed me away."
"Doesn't sound good."
"No, she has a long road ahead of her, Sir. What are you doing up anyway?"
"I was sleeping. I swear. Then I just woke up. I had this feeling she needed me. So I came here and I guess she did. Mind if I go sit with her Doc? I did get some sleep."
"Sure. I might need your gentle touch if she wakes again." She gently teased.
"Don't spread that around Doc. I have a reputation to protect."
"Consider it classified." She said and smiled.
A few hours later Jack woke to the sound of soft crying. He had fallen asleep in the chair. Then the crying registered in his sleep-fogged brain.
"Hey Sam. Do you hurt? Want me to get the Doc?"
She said nothing and began to cry again. Jack moved closer and took her hand in his. Then wanting to comfort her more he slid in beside her on the bed and took her into his arms and held her, rocking her back and forth. She clung to him and after a few minutes began to relax her hold. Dr. Frasier came in followed by Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond and Jacob Carter.
"I came as soon as George called. How are you feeling, Sammy?"
She did not respond.
Jack moved away letting Jacob take his place. Jack went to stand next to Hammond. He quietly asked what Jacob had been told as he did not have clearance for what they did.
"I told him she was attacked and raped on a mission. He wondered how that was possible. Where was the team? I explained that the nature of our work is highly classified and that you all were with a people that have different customs than we do."
"And he bought that?"
"I know he knows there's more to it but being a military man he understands he won't be told anymore."
"When can we take her home?" Jacob asked Dr. Frasier.
"Not for awhile yet, General Carter."
Just then a nurse came bustling in with a file folder in her hands. She handed it to Dr. Fraiser. The Doc scanned the file and let out a soft gasp as she read the results.
"Dr. Fraiser, what is it?" General Hammond asked.
"I ran some tests on Sam when she was brought in and these are the results."
"And?" Jack asked.
"Well, normally I would discuss this with the patient first, but in these circumstances, since she has been non-responsive, I will tell you. She is free from infection and any diseases. But...somehow she is pregnant."
"Are you sure? How? I mean with the birth control the military requires." Gen. Carter asked.
"Isn't it a little early to be able to tell?" Jack asked, "Not that I know anything about it. It's just that when Sarah...well I remember her telling me when we were trying for Charlie that it takes a few weeks before it registers on a test."
"Yes. Testing has advanced in recent years. We ran it three times to be sure. I guess nothing is 100% effective."
Jacob held tighter to his daughter. Sam seemed to pale more if possible at the doctor's revelation. Jacob felt her stiffen as well. Daniel had a pained look on his face. This woman who he thought of as a sister was hurting. Jack bit back a growl and resisted the urge to run to the Stargate and kill Turghan. The General and Teal'c stood there stunned and concerned.
"Doc," Jack said noticing Sam's reaction, "I think she just responded."
"Yes, I felt her stiffen." Jacob concurred.
Dr. Frasier then ushered everyone but Jacob out of the infirmary. In the hall she briefed the General on Sam's other injuries.
"What can we do to help her?" Daniel asked.
"Just be there for her. Let her know she's not alone. The rape is traumatizing enough but now this pregnancy complicates things."
"Could she terminate the pregnancy?" Jack asked.
"Yes, but that's a decision that is hers and hers alone, Colonel. And I don't know when she will be able to make such a decision."
Jacob came out of the infirmary wiping his eyes.
"How is she sir?" Jack asked.
"Not good. I tried to talk to her and get her to relax but she just seemed to be more upset and agitated. I have never seen such fear and pain in her eyes, not even when her mother died. She was like a mannequin."
Then a nurse stuck her head out of the infirmary.
"Dr. Fraiser, her vitals are dropping."
"Ok. Jack?"
Jack nodded and then went into the infirmary. He found Sam lying on her side, curled up into a ball and crying softly. Immediately he was at her side.
"Hey, Sam." He said once again taking her into his arms. "Its ok. Come on please stay with us." He began while the doctor administered medication into the IV line.
"Why is this happening, Doc?" Jack asked over the sound of the alarms on the various machines.
"I think she's reacting to the news by sinking further into whatever place she's already been hiding in. And her mental state is affecting her physical state. The mind is a powerful thing. I gave her some medication to stabilize her vitals. And I think if you don't mind staying with her that will help."
"Of course, Dr. Fraiser."
"Sam, you can go through with this pregnancy or not. Whatever you decide I will support you. I will be there through all of it. I'm not going anywhere. Right now just rest and concentrate on coming back to me." He said continuing to soothe her.
"You are safe Sam. I've got you now. Nothing can hurt you anymore. You're ok." He kept repeating as he slowly and gently rocked her.
He felt her relax a bit in his arms and released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
"Doc, she's starting to relax."
"Good. And she is stabilizing. You have the touch, Sir."
Jack smiled and then turned his attention back to Sam.
Janet checked the monitors again and satisfied went back to inform the others of what had happened.
"So why did you have Jack go back in?" Daniel asked after the Doctor's explanation.
"Sam seems to respond to him. He is able to calm her. He seems to be the only one."
"Oh. Well, good."
"Yeah. She still hasn't said a word since she was brought in, but I think the fact that she is responding to the Colonel is a good sign."
"Thank you doctor. Please keep me informed of any change in the Captain's condition." General Hammond said gravely, "Jacob, why don't you come with me to the commissary and I'll give you a more detailed explanation as to what happened."
"I'd like that George," he replied and they were off.
Daniel wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. Janet, seeing his indecision invited him into the infirmary.
"Why don't you come sit with Sam for a bit. She may respond to you as well and that way Jack can take a break every now and then. I don't want all of SG-1 sick in my infirmary."
Daniel chuckled and then followed the doctor into the infirmary. Teal'c chose to return to his quarters, as he had not been able to complete his Kel No Ream.
Janet found that Jack had gotten Sam to go back to sleep and was just laying her back down.
"How is she, Jack?" Daniel asked.
"Ok for now. I'm thinking we're going to have to call Dr. Mackenzie."
Daniel cringed. But he understood that this whole thing had a profound psychological effect on Sam.
"Colonel, Daniel can spell you for a bit. Why don't you go get something to eat and get some more sleep?" The doctor ordered.
"You'll holler if you need me?" Jack asked Daniel.
"Yes. Now go eat."
"You want anything?"
"Coffee please."
"You got it."
Sam's father left the next day after receiving a promise from the doctor that he would be regularly updated as to his daughter's condition. A week later Sam was deemed well enough to leave the infirmary. SG-1 had been put on downtime until further notice. Daniel spent his time cataloging and translating inscriptions on artifacts other SG teams brought back and sitting with Sam. Jack pretty much stayed with Sam. Teal'c decided that since there was nothing he could do to help he would go visit his family. When Sam was allowed to leave the mountain, Jack insisted on taking her to his place so he could look after her. She had begun talking again but mostly in one-word answers and simple requests for food or other necessities. She agreed to go with Jack. Jack pulled into his driveway and hurried around the other side to help Sam get out of the car. While she was able to walk, she was still weak and sore as her injuries were still healing. She walked slowly up the walkway clutching a small bag of her things they had stopped to pick up from her place along the way. Jack grabbed the suitcase with the rest of her things from the back seat and followed her in.
"Alright. Welcome to the O'Neil Mansion. It's not much but it is home. Give me just a minute and I'll give you the grand tour. Why don't you sit down while I get your bag put away and get dinner started?"
Sam nodded with a small smile and sat down. She leaned back into the plush sofa cushions and closed her eyes. She smiled as she heard Jack humming in the kitchen as he cooked.
Jack put some salmon filets on the grill pan and inhaled deeply of the smell as they sizzled. A sound from the other room caught his attention.
"No, get off me!! Help me! Some one Please!!" Sam screamed.
Jack ran into the other room to find Sam had fallen asleep on the couch and was dreaming. She must be relieving her attack. He thought.
Gently he touched her arm and called out her name.
"Sam, wake up honey. You're safe now."
She startled awake, tears in her eyes. Then she recognized Jack and where she was. Sam launched herself into his arms and sobbed. Finally, he thought as he held her more tightly. She needs to cry and get this out. The whole time she was in the infirmary she had been given sedatives at night to sleep and so had not suffered from nightmares. But once she moved to her quarters she had begun to relive her ordeal. She would be woken up by whoever happened to be nearby and then say she was ok. Never had she really cried. Till now.
"You're safe. He can't hurt you anymore. He will never hurt you again." Jack said trying to soothe her.
"Yes, he can. He will forever." Sam said through her tears.
"What do you mean? How?"
"The baby," she said touching her abdomen with her hand, "I will always remember."
"Sam, you don't have to have this baby. No one would think less of you."
"I know that. But, Jack I don't think I could kill it because of its father. It didn't ask to be conceived this way. I'm just afraid that I would resent him or her because of its father and that's not fair to the baby either."
"What if you had the baby and then gave him up for adoption?"
"What about the security issue?"
"Maybe we could find parents with clearance, like we did for Cassie."
"Who?"
"I'll make some inquiries at the SGC tomorrow. Maybe somebody knows somebody."
"Ok. Thank you, Jack. I'm sorry I got your shirt wet."
"That's ok. It needed to be washed anyway."
"Jack, is something burning?"
"Dinner!" he said and sprang to his feet, running to the kitchen. He flipped over the filets.
"Uh, Sam, the fish is a little overdone."
"That's ok. I prefer blackened fish anyway." She said and smiled the first real smile she smiled since the incident.
Later that night after a somewhat overdone dinner Sam went to bed. Jack stayed up a little bit later to watch the news and get the latest hockey scores. As he was heading to bed he stopped at the guest room to look in on Sam. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He left her door open a crack as well as his so he could hear her if she needed him. After tossing his clothes in the hamper Jack grabbed the pair of cut off sweat pants that he liked to sleep in and climbed into bed. A couple of hours later he was awakened by a loud scream. He sat up in bed.
"Sam!" he thought.
Jack bolted down the hall to the guest room. Sam was thrashing about in bed. She was having another nightmare. The way she's moving can't be good for her injuries, he thought. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook Sam.
"Sam, wake up. It's only a dream. You're safe. I won't let anything hurt you."
Sam stopped thrashing and opened her eyes. She was exhausted from the dream. Jack pushed her sweat soaked hair off of her face.
"You wanna talk about it?" Jack asked continuing to gently stroke her cheek.
"I-it seemed so real. I was back in the tent and Turghan was attacking me. I fought as hard as I could but he was stronger. I pleaded for those around me to help, but they didn't do anything, just like when it really happened. Except this time there was someone new there. It was a young blondish brown haired boy with blue eyes. He was laughing and encouraging Turghan. Jack, I think it was the baby," Sam said placing her hand to her abdomen.
"Could be, but it wasn't real. No child would want that for its mother. I remember with my son, Charlie. He was such a little man, always sticking up for his mother and trying to be the man of the house. He grew up faster than he should have because I was gone so much on missions. But he always seemed protective of Sarah. That's how I know that your baby wouldn't ever do that."
"Thank you, Sir."
"What happened to Jack?"
"Ok, Jack." Sam said sitting up.
A few hours later the sun peaked into the room waking Sam. She rolled over to hide from the sun and felt her hand hit something - no someone. She opened her eyes. Jack. It was Jack. They had talked for a little while. They talked about lots of things, his family, hers, work, the Goa'uld. Anything but the rape. Sam wasn't entirely ready to face that yet. That she had shared her dream was a big step in the right direction. She watched the Colonel sleep for a moment. Then got up to start the day. Jack had shown her where everything was kept, so she helped herself to a bowl of granola and milk. Sam noticed Jack's well-groomed back yard and porch and decided some fresh air would do her good. She slid the glass door closed behind her and sat down in a lounge to enjoy her breakfast. She watched as a little pudgy bird sat on a nearby tree branch chirping happily. She wished she could feel that free and happy. Before she might have been able to, but now she wasn't so sure she would ever feel that way again. Sam set her empty bowl on the table next to her and lay back in the lounge chair. She looked at her still flat stomach, gently placing a hand there and caressing the area slowly while letting her thoughts run wild.
Jack woke with a groan. He had fallen asleep with his back twisted uncomfortably. He stretched and then opened his eyes. This isn't my bed. Then it all came back to him. He was in the guest room. Sam had woken up. Sam! Panic welled inside him as he realized she wasn't in the room. She still wasn't herself yet and he feared something might happen to her. He bolted from the bed and ran into the other parts of the house. He checked his room and found it as he had left it. He began calling out for her.
"Sam! Sam!"
Next he checked the bathroom and finally the kitchen and living room. No sign of her. Jack leaned against the counter. He ran his hands through his short hair trying to think of where she might have gone. Maybe she went to the base. He went to the living room where he had left the cordless phone. He looked out the window absently while waiting for someone to answer the phone. He saw something move out of the corner of his eye and looked in the direction he'd seen it. Jack noticed the cereal bowl and spoon on the patio table. He hung up the phone and went to take a closer look. Nothing. Then he heard it. The splashing of water. He followed the sound around the corner and found Sam sitting by the Koi pond in his back yard. The splash had been a fish jumping up and back into the water. He looked at Sam as she sat watching the fish with fascination. She was wearing what she had slept in, sweats and a tank top that came to just above her naval. She seemed more relaxed then she had been since the attack. She dipped her finger into the water. He watched with his own brand of fascination, as the fish would come to the offered finger, nibbling at it thinking it was food. Sam smiled and Jack thought it the most beautiful sight he had seen in a long while. Quietly, so as not to startle her, he called her name.
"Hi Jack." She said leaning back from the pond to look at him.
"How long have you been out here?" he asked.
"About half an hour I think."
She looked at the older man. His hair sticking up in all different directions, his chest bare, as were his feet. An expression of concern was on his face.
"Oh no," she said realizing what had happened.
"What?" he said instantly on alert.
"I just realized...you were looking for me?"
"Yeah. I got a little concerned when you weren't in the house. I was dialing the base when I spotted the cereal bowl."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I just wanted some air. I didn't think...I"
"It's ok. Just don't do that again. My heart can't take it. Nearly had a coronary." He said with a smile and his usual sarcasm. Then realizing what he must look like, he excused himself to get dressed.
Jack turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. As his thoughts wondered back to Sam in her PJ's he wondered if he shouldn't take another shower, a cold shower. Stop it, Jack! He chastised himself. She was just raped and is pregnant, for crying out loud. The last thing she needs is a testosterone crazed CO! He calmed himself down, as he pulled on his battle dress uniform. He hoped Sam was dressed too. Jack came down the stairs and found Sam sitting on the bottom stair tying her bootlaces. She looked up as he passed her.
"How's the heart, Sir?" She asked smiling.
Jack smiled back. A little of the old Sam was peaking through. Definitely a good sign.
"Beating calmly, Carter. You ready to go?"
"Yes, but you didn't have any breakfast.
"No time. I'll grab something from the commissary."
They signed in at the gate.
"Good to see you, Ma'am," The young Lt. at the gate said to Sam as he took the clipboard back from her.
"Thank you, Lt." She replied.
Jack sighed inwardly. The young soldier, like many others at this base had a little crush on his Captain. His Captain? Where did that come from?
"I'll see you later, Sir," Sam said as she turned to head to the infirmary. Janet was expecting her for a follow-up check-up.
"Right, Later Carter." He watched her walk down the hall. She looked confident and strong, not at all the vulnerable woman he had carried back through the gate two weeks before. But he knew better. He'd seen it with men in combat. Soldiers are trained to put on a brave face. Sometimes they learn their lessons too well and end up suppressing emotions that come back later to haunt them. He hoped she was doing as well as she appeared to be, but something in his gut told him otherwise.
Sam lay on the exam table. She looked away while Janet did a pelvic exam to check on the baby. "Ok, Sam. Everything looks good." Janet said wiping her hands on a paper towel. When Sam made no response, Janet looked at her patient. A tear escaped from Sam's eye.
"Sam, honey, what's wrong? Other than the obvious, I mean." Janet asked placing a comforting hand on Sam's arm.
"Janet, I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"This pregnancy, my own feelings, and mostly whether I will ever be able to get close to another man."
"Have you made any decisions about the pregnancy?"
"Yes, I can't kill it. But I don't think I can handle keeping the baby. It wouldn't be fair to the baby to have a mother that resents its conception and father and eventually it. Jack suggested I give the baby up for adoption to someone with the proper clearance, of course."
"Sounds like a good plan. And you know we are all here to give you any emotional support you might need. And, Sam, after what you've been through it is natural to feel nervous about being with a man. But given time I think you will be able to have a natural and normal relationship with the right man."
"You don't understand." Sam said and began to cry.
Jack checked his watch as he left Hammond's office. Sam should be done with the Doc by now. He decided he'd go meet her there. Jack had been discussing the adoption option with the General and wanted to share what he'd learned with Sam. He stopped to greet SG-4 who were on their way to the gate room for a mission and then continued on his way.
As he neared the infirmary he heard crying. Sam needed him. He sped up and then skidded to a halt just outside the door. He could hear her and the doc talking.
"You don't understand," Sam said.
"I want to. Sam, please tell me what's troubling you?"
"T-Turghan was the f-first."
"The first?" Janet repeated and then everything clicked.
Sam was a virgin! Jack thought, anger filling him. That beast Turghan took everything away from her. Oh Sam!
He wanted to run in and gather her in his arms and shield her from all the hurt. As a military man his instinct was to protect any one under his command but he felt especially so toward Sam. He'd had women under his command before and his hackles hadn't risen as much as they were now. So, it wasn't her gender. But why he felt as he did he wasn't sure. "Oh Sam!" Janet was saying.
"That explains why you got pregnant. You weren't on birth control because you had no need to be, right?"
"Yes." Sam said softly.
"Sam, you seem to be comfortable enough with Jack touching you, holding you and comforting you, I mean. That says to me that you are not as afraid of men as you think you are."
The mention of his name shook Jack out of his thoughts. He listened and what he heard generated a whole other line of thoughts.
"Jack is different. He's my CO and I trust him. Somehow he is safe to me. Maybe its because regulations eliminate any possibility of us being together in that way, so its not an issue."
Janet was with her and she was ok for now. Jack could feel the rage building within him as he thought of what Sam had suffered at the hands of Turghan. And the questions in his mind at what Sam had said regarding him. Not to mention his feelings for her. He turned and went to the gym. He needed a workout--a heavy workout followed by a very, very cold shower.
"Makes sense. Sam, I think it would help you a great deal if you were to see a counselor. Till then, I would suggest that you keep the doors open to the Colonel's friendship. Don't cut that off too."
"I will. Is there a counselor with high enough clearance?"
"Yes. I'll set up an appointment. Now why don't you get dressed and then go get something to eat at the commissary."
"Will you join me? I hate to eat alone."
" I wish I could but I have an appointment. How about I call Daniel and see if he is available?" "Ok." Sam said and then disappeared behind the curtain to get dressed.
As soon as Daniel and Sam left for lunch, Janet went in search of Jack. She found him beating the crap out of the punching bag that hung in the corner. By the marks on the walls, he'd been at it for a while and was pushing hard.
"Jack!"
He turned between punches and said, "Hi Doc."
"We need to talk for a minute."
Jack stopped, took a large drink of water and wiped his face with a towel. Then he sat at the table where Janet had taken a seat.
"What's on your mind, doc?"
"I think maybe I should be asking you that." She said indicating the punching bag.
"Just getting in a good workout."
"Ok. I wanted to talk to you about Sam."
"She's ok isn't she?"
"Yes. I sent her to get some lunch with Daniel in the commissary."
Jack tensed at the mention of Daniel's name. The doctor noticed and it seemed to confirm her suspicions.
"After her check-up we had an interesting conversation. Jack, she is extremely vulnerable right now, especially when it comes to men. But she seems to trust you and feel safe with you. I'm telling you this because you need to be very careful not to do anything to break that trust."
"Yes Ma'am. Doc, I-I have a confession to make. I was coming to check on Sam in the infirmary and I was outside the door when you had that little conversation. I know why she is so vulnerable."
"That explains the workout." Janet said with a knowing smile.
"Uh-yeah, Doc, I'm worried about Sam. She's been doing really well at my place. Almost like her old self. But, I wonder if it's not just a faade. We're trained to put on a brave face, 'never say die' and all that."
"Yeah, I've noticed that too. She's beginning to face what happened, but it will take some time. I've set up an appointment with a counselor for Sam. I think it will go a long way in helping her recovery."
"What can I do to help?"
"What you've been doing. Just be supportive and sensitive."
"Ok."
Jack sat contemplating for a moment more. Then as he rose to leave the intercom buzzed.
"Incoming traveler...Dr. Frazier to the gate room."
They exchanged a look and then dashed to the gate room. SG-4 came running back through the gate firing at some invisible foe behind them. They were wounded, one critically. He was supported by a teammate as they came down the ramp. Janet and her team met them at the foot of the ramp and relieved the soldier of his burden. The injured soldier was placed on a gurney and whisked away to the infirmary. Seeing that all was well in hand, Jack decided he better take that shower and left.
Jack's thoughts went back to what Dr. Frazier had said as he walked to the locker room. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see the sign indicating gender on the door. He pushed the door open and walked in. The locker room seemed to be empty. Jack went to his locker and began pulling out what he would need for his shower. Then the sound of crying and sniffling caught his ears. It was coming from the direction of the showers. Jack followed the sound to its source. Not wanting to see more of whoever was behind the curtain than he should, Jack asked, "Are you ok in there?"
Sam froze. Of all people to find her like this it had to be Jack. Pulling herself together Sam said, "Sir, its still the women's locker room. Didn't you see the sign?"
"Uh, no I didn't. But you didn't answer my question, Carter."
"I'm ok. I just want to be alone."
"I don't think that's a good idea right now. I've got pretty big shoulders if you want one to cry on." Jack said trying to coax her out.
When she didn't answer, Jack got concerned. When the crying started again, he was really worried. Throwing caution to the wind, Jack slowly pulled the curtain aside. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Sam was still in BDUs. Then his concern rose when he realized she had no intention of showering, but had come to cry. He crouched down in front of her and took her into his arms and let her cry. He rubbed circles on her back and whispered soothing words to her. Finally the crying began to subside and Sam pulled back and leaned against the shower wall.
"Thank you," she said.
"Anytime. Do you want to talk about it?" Jack asked.
"I don't know if I can."
"Take all the time you need. There is no pressure here. I'm in no hurry."
"Not here."
"Right, too many ears. How about my place? I'll even provide dinner."
"Ok, sounds good, Sir. Uh- maybe you should take a shower first." Sam said with a smile. Jack looked down and remembered his intense workout as he saw the sweat stains covering his tank top and the way his shorts clung to his thighs.
"Right. How about we meet topside in say twenty minutes?" Jack suggested.
"Ok. I'll leave you to your shower sir." Jack stood and offered a hand to Sam helping her up. He watched her walk across the locker room and out the door. Her shoulders were squared. The soldier was back in command. They'd have to talk about that.
Jack exited the Cheyenne mountain complex and looked across the parking lot. He could see Sam and Daniel talking at the archeologist's car. Sam was smiling and talking quite animatedly. This seemed to be quite the change. Jack wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying. Suddenly Sam hugged Daniel. She pulled back, but their arms were still around each other. Jack felt a wave jealousy and then stopped himself. He had no claim to the Captain's affections. Besides she and Daniel were just friends. Danny boy was a married man, even if his wife was a snakehead on the other side of the galaxy. Jack willed his emotions under control and approached his teammates.
"Hey Carter, Daniel."
"Oh, Hi Jack." Daniel said turning to his friend, "I was just telling Sam about what happened to SG-4."
"I was there when they came stumbling back through the gate. What did happen?"
"They were ambushed by the locals. Apparently they aren't too fond of visitors. SG-4 barely got out the words, "We come in peace," when the locals opened fire. Janet says they should all make complete recoveries. Needless to say we won't be going back there anytime soon." Daniel explained.
"Got any plans tonight?" Jack asked.
"Yeah, Teal'c asked me about ballet. So I'm taking him to see the Denver Ballet Company perform Swan Lake."
Jack burst out laughing.
"The big guy likes ballet?"
"He asked about it. He's never seen it before. But it does make for a funny image," Daniel said laughing.
"Well, enjoy." Jack said and continued laughing all the way to his car. Sam bid goodbye to Daniel and followed Jack to his Jeep.
"It was good to see you laugh again." Jack said as they drove out of the base gate.
"It felt good. And with an image like Teal'c and ballet how could anyone not laugh?"
Sam wiped her mouth with a napkin and stood to clear the dishes from the tasty dinner they had had. Jack had gone all out, grilling steak and potatoes, with some veggies on the side. "Sam, I'll get the dishes. You're still healing." Jack said rising to his feet.
"I'm not an invalid, Jack!" she said raising her voice, then softer, "I need to do something. I'm not used to sitting around doing nothing all day." She pleaded with him.
"Ok, but only if I can dry."
"Deal."
Later Sam and Jack sat on the couch in Jack's living room. Sam tucked her legs under her and leaned back into the plush cushions. They were quiet. All that could be heard was the hum of the dishwasher in the kitchen. Finally Jack broke the silence.
"I talked with General Hammond about the adoption. He said he didn't know of anyone on base that could adopt the baby, but he suggested that we talk to some of our allies. Maybe Kasuf would know of someone on Abydos who would want a child."
"Ok. I'll ask Daniel to give Kasuf a 'call'. Thanks Jack."
"You're welcome."
They again fell into silence. Jack wanted to get Sam to open up but he was unsure of how to start. Luckily Sam spared him the agony.
"I'm sorry about earlier, in the locker room," Sam began.
"Sorry for what?"
"For falling apart like that. I'm a captain in the United States Air Force and you should expect better of me than to completely lose it. And you don't have to worry, Sir. That will never happen again, especially not a mission."
"Whoa!" Jack was making the time out sign with his hands, "There is nothing to apologize for. You're not a machine, Sam. You need to let what you're feeling out. It's human nature. In fact I am glad you finally started to let it all out. I was more worried when you were trying so hard to hold it together. And I don't care if you were a 4 star General, no one goes through what you are going through without breaking down. Sam, don't feel that you have to play the good little soldier for me. No one, especially me, expects that. In fact we have all been concerned that you were holding it together a little too well. You have nothing to prove to me or anyone else, ok?"
"Ok."
"So you wanna tell me what brought you to the shower in the locker room today?"
"Just a conversation I had with Janet."
"What was it about?" Jack said trying to get her to open up to him.
"It's not important."
"It is to those of us who care about you. Now, it obviously upset you. The only way to keep that from happening again is to get it out in the open and deal with it. That way it has no more power over you."
"Well, uh, we were just talking about what happened to me and any decisions I had made about the baby."
"Did the Doc say anything to upset you?"
"Oh, no, of course not."
"What then?"
"Jack, this is hard for me and I really don't want to talk about it." Time for the big guns. He didn't want to hurt her but until she faced this she would never get better.
"Sam, I have a confession. I was outside the infirmary door when you and the Doc were talking. It was purely accidental. I had come to tell you what Hammond had said and accidentally heard what you said. I know about Turghan and-and the rest. I didn't stay because I was afraid of what I would do if I did. You deserve so much better than what he did to you. You deserve a man who can be gentle with you, and love you, not the lust and violence you got from Turghan."
Sam started to get emotional. She felt violated all over again. She looked away from Jack.
"No man like that would want someone like me. Not after..." Sam said softly.
"Want that animal did to you is not your fault," he said grasping her arms to get her to look at him, " It does not make you any less than the beautiful woman you have always been. The right man would be lucky to have you in his life. I know I am."
Sam sat in silence, absorbing what he had said and what he had meant. Did he have feelings for her? Not him. He was supposed to be her safe place. He couldn't. She began to feel overwhelmed. Images from Turghan's attack were brought back to her mind, as were the emotions that went with them -- the loss of control, feeling utterly and completely helpless, fear. These were things that Captain Samantha Carter, USAF, never felt. She was always in control, a model of discipline and order.
"Jack-I, how, no. I can't - I-I gotta get out of here." Sam said fighting tears.
She rose and ran out the back door to the porch, sliding the door closed after her. Jack stood to follow her and she kept going. She had to get away. She had to go where she could be safe. She wanted to be alone. Sam didn't know where to go. Her car was still at the base and there was nowhere she could think to go to within walking distance. Then I won't go anywhere. I'll just go. Sam made her way around to the front of the house and began walking up the street. Jack lived in a fairly isolated area. There were few homes and so no one would bother her. She wandered aimlessly, her thoughts a jumble of everything that had happened in the last few weeks. At first she glanced behind her every few minutes to be sure Jack wasn't following her. He wasn't. Jack grabbed his jacket and went out after Sam. Good job, Jack. Way to go. Throw yourself at her why don't you. Jack continued his mental beating as he went after Sam. She had left the yard but beyond that he didn't know where she could have gone. Then he had an idea. He climbed to his roof and using his telescope scoured the neighborhood. He spotted Sam about a mile down the road. She seemed to be ok. Jack decided not to follow her. Maybe she just needed some space and time. Of course he would still keep an eye on her from his perch on the roof. A while later Jack startled awake when the first drops of rain began to fall. He reached for the telescope all the while scolding himself for dozing off. He scanned the area and found no site of Sam. Jack felt the panic rising in his chest. Where could she have gone? He swiveled the telescope in all directions and still nothing. He'd call the base. Janet would kill him, but it was the only thing he could think to do.
"Yes, I'm sorry Janet."
"You should be. Especially after I specifically told you...aaah, ok, Colonel, we'll keep a look out for her and if she comes back to your place please call and let me know."
"I will."
Daniel sat sprawled on his old sofa, remote in hand and coffee nearby. He laughed as he watched a program about ancient Egypt on the Discovery channel. If only they knew how wrong their theories were! Even though he had more accurate data than most of these National Geographic wanna-be's Daniel found it helpful to keep abreast of what others in his field were up to. He laughed loudly as the narrator explained how and why the great pyramids were built. A soft tapping sounded at his door. Daniel muted the TV and listened again to the knock. He opened the door and was surprised to see a slightly wet and bedraggled Sam Carter.
"Sam! What happened? Are you ok?" he finally managed to say.
"I didn't know where else to go." Was her reply.
"Uh-come on in." He said opening the door wide for her to pass. Daniel followed her back to his living room. Her movements were slow and suggested fatigue. Sam sat on the couch and stared blankly at the silent program on the screen. Daniel sat opposite her in his recliner. He studied her expression for a moment. She looked exhausted.
"Sam. What happened?"
She turned to face him and said nothing. He reached for the remote and turned off the TV.
"Talk to me Sam." He said gently.
"Ja-the Colonel and I, I really don't want to talk about it. Why does everyone want to talk about things all the time anyway." Sam said getting quite upset.
"We just care and-and want to help." Daniel said moving to her side and offering comfort.
"I know, I just-" Sam sneezed interrupting her thought.
"I've got some coffee, oh wait, not good for the baby. Uh- how about some Herbal tea? I have orange blossom." He said smiling, knowing it was her favorite.
"Ok. Thanks Daniel."
Daniel went into the kitchen and put a fresh kettle of water on to boil. When he returned a few minutes later, he found Sam had fallen asleep on the couch. Best to let her rest. Daniel grabbed a blanket from his bedroom and draped it over his sleeping friend. He gently shifted her into a more comfortable position and turned out the light. After turning off the stove, Daniel went to get ready for bed. As he was midway through brushing his teeth the phone rang. Cursing the caller's bad timing, he rinsed out his mouth and then made a mad dash for the phone hoping to keep the ring from waking his guest.
"Hello,"
"Daniel! Have you heard from Sam at all? She's missing." A frantic Jack O'Neill said on the other line. "She's here, Jack. She showed up at my place about an hour ago and promptly fell asleep on my couch. "
"Is she ok?"
"Other than being exhausted and upset, she seemed to be fine."
"Oh man. I'll be right over."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Jack. She didn't tell me much, but whatever upset her was without a doubt something involving you. She said she had nowhere else to go. "
"I didn't mean to upset her. I was trying to help."
"I know, Jack. Look it's late. Why don't we both get some sleep and then I'll meet you at the Caf on 9th for breakfast tomorrow and we can talk about what happened."
"Ok and thanks Daniel."
"Hey, I care about her too, you know."
Sam awoke the next morning and after remembering where she was stumbled into the kitchen to find something to eat. Typical Daniel. Sam thought as she opened the fridge and cupboards to find little more than coffee and milk. Then she heard keys rattle in the door. Daniel strode in, fresh eggs, pancakes and sausage in hand, courtesy of the local McDonald's.
"I realized last night that I had forgotten to make a grocery run, so I ran to my personal chef and had him whip up this divine feast for you." Daniel said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Divine feast? I didn't realize you and Ronald McDonald were that close."
"Oh yeah, we go way back. Listen Sam, I have a breakfast appointment, but I promise I'll be back soon and we can talk if you feel up to it."
"Ok."
"Oh and make yourself at home. Feel free to take a shower or whatever. You know where everything is."
" I will and thanks for everything Daniel. I really appreciate your friendship. I-it means a lot."
"You're welcome and right back at you. Now I gotta run or I'll be late." And with that Daniel was out the door.
After wolfing down the feast, Sam wondered around the small apartment. Everything seemed to scream Daniel. As she made her way to the bathroom for a shower she even caught the faint scent of his aftershave. Sam smiled as she noticed the pile of pill bottles on the sink. Probably for his allergies. Quickly she stripped and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt wonderful as it hit her tense body. She stayed under the spray and just let it relax her. Suddenly a sharp pain seemed to ripple across her abdomen. She gasped with the pain and doubled over. It came again, more broadly this time. Sam looked down and started to cry as she saw the blood washing down the drain.
"Oh no. The baby. Oh this hurts so bad!" she thought sinking to the shower floor. She managed to turn off the shower and then the pain increased in intensity and all she could do was lie there, clutching her midsection and crying.
Jack and Daniel sat in a booth at the caf each drinking their morning brew and not saying a whole lot. Finally Daniel spoke.
"So, what happened last night?"
Jack told Daniel of the talk he and Sam had, careful not to reveal what he'd overheard in the infirmary. He explained how Sam ran out.
"Daniel, I was just trying to get her to face what happened. She's hiding from it and trying to be the good little soldier. The sooner she faces things the sooner she'll heal."
"I understand that, but dealing with this kind of trauma is something that you can't force. Sam has to deal with it in her own time and in her own way. We just need to be there for her as friends, offering support. Sam will face things when she is ready."
"Yeah, I'm just worried about her."
"I know. We can all see that."
"What do you mean?" Jack said trying to deny what Daniel was insinuating.
"Come on Jack, its obvious, at least to me, that on some level you have feelings for Sam. I mean it sounds like you practically declared them to her yourself. And you probably feel responsible for what happened when you have no need to. She doesn't need to deal with your guilt right now."
"I didn't mean to do anything to hurt her or add to what she is already trying to handle. I just didn't want her feeling the way she was. I wish you could have heard her, Daniel. She talked like she thought she might as well be a prostitute. Like she was so much trash and not good enough for anyone anymore."
"Yeah, she was pretty harsh on herself, but from what I've read, her reactions and feelings are to be expected after this kind of trauma. I told her we'd talk when I got back. I'll see what I can do to help. Probably won't be much. I mean I'm not a therapist."
"I don't know. You've done pretty well helping me get my head on straight."
Daniel smiled and glanced at his watch.
"I gotta go. I told Sam I wouldn't be gone long."
"Do you think it would be ok if I came with you?"
"Only if you promise to back off."
"Ok."
They left a tip for the waitress and piled into Jack's jeep. Daniel had walked, as the Coffee shop was just a few blocks from his home.
The men were arguing about the merits of a particular hockey player as they came through the door. They stopped when they heard a cry of pain.
"Sam!" Daniel called back.
"Daniel? Please, Please help me."
Daniel ran in the direction of the crying with Jack close on his heels. He drew in a breath when he found Sam in the shower. Quickly he grabbed his bathrobe from the hook on the door and covered Sam with it as he picked her up. He knew what was happening.
"Jack, call Janet and tell her what's happening and that we are bringing Sam in." He said grabbing another towel to stem the flow of blood. Daniel carried Sam out to Jack's jeep and sat in the back seat with her while Jack drove and called the base on his cell phone. Sam began to fade in and out of consciousness.
"How's she doing?" Jack asked as he got off the phone.
"Not well. She's losing consciousness. Sam, stay with me. I need you to stay awake, honey. Jack hurry. I wish we could take her to a regular hospital."
"Can we?"
"No, not given the security concerns. Janet is our best bet. How close are we?"
"About 10 minutes away. Janet said she'd be waiting at the gate so we can bypass the usual sign in."
"Good. Sam?"
"I'm here." She said weakly, "It hurts, Daniel." She moaned, " Jack, make it stop. I can-" She lost consciousness again.
"Sam!" He said frantically feeling for a pulse.
"Jack, we need to be there now. We're losing her."
Jack grabbed his cell phone and called Janet again.
"We're about three minutes away now."
"We're waiting for you. Have Daniel elevate her legs above her heart if he can."
"Right. Daniel, doc wants you to elevate Sam's legs above her heart."
"Already doing that."
"Good."
The jeep screeched to a halt at the gate. Janet and her crew came and relieved Daniel of his burden. As the group rode down the elevator Janet asked about what had happened. Daniel said what little he knew. One of the nurses started an IV as the elevator stopped on the infirmary floor. Then Janet and the crew flew with the gurney down the hall and into an operating room. Jack and Daniel were left to wait in the hall. General Hammond came down the hall wanting an explanation.
"I'm afraid we don't have much of one, sir," Jack said.
"We came back to Daniel's place and found her miscarrying in the shower."
"Janet is with her now." Daniel added softly.
"Uh, Dr. Jackson you might want to go get cleaned up." The General said indicating Daniel's blood stained hands.
Daniel looked at his hands.
"Oh, right." He mumbled and then went in the direction of the locker room.
As the last of the blood went down the drain, Daniel flashed back to finding Sam in the shower. A lump rose in his throat as he contemplated the possibility of Sam dying. She was his friend, a good friend. She understood him as no one else could, not even Sha're. After drying his hands on a nearby towel, Daniel sat on a bench and pulled the battered piece of paper out of his pocket. It was a message from Kasuf brought back by one of the other SG teams. He reread its contents. These were the symbols that told the fate of his wife. She had been sited on several planets, always at Apophis' side. When she returned to Abydos a small team of warriors overpowered her. They had attempted to remove the symbiote but were not able. Before they could get her to earth, Sha're/Ammounet lashed out again at Kasuf forcing the warriors to kill her to save him. She was dead. Sha're was gone. She'd been gone for three months. None of the others knew yet, except Sam. She could read him like a book and had asked if he was all right when he'd been particularly down one day. He'd broken down that day and Sam had stayed with him, comforting him. She had kept his secret. He hadn't felt ready to deal with the other's reactions until now.
And now this wonderful friend might die. To say nothing of the additional hurt losing the baby would cause her. Daniel ran his hands through his hair while he tried to gather his wits. He shoved the paper back into his pocket and after adjusting his glasses and taking a deep breath, Daniel went in the direction of the infirmary.
Jack and the General were talking with Janet when Daniel returned.
"She's stable now." Janet was saying.
"What happened?" Jack asked.
"It's hard to be sure, but it looked like she started to miscarry and in the process some blood vessels ruptured. That's why she lost consciousness."
"And the baby?" Daniel asked.
"She lost the baby. There was nothing we could have done."
"How is she taking it?"
"She hasn't woken up yet, but that's to be expected with the medication I gave her. She should probably be awake in another hour or so."
"But she's going to be ok, right?" Jack asked.
"Physically, she should completely recover. She'll be sore and will need to stay in bed for at least a week. More would be better, but knowing Sam we'll be lucky if we keep her down that long."
"You said physically. What about the rest of her?" Daniel asked.
"I don't know. She's already been through so much I'm not sure if this latest loss will be helpful or make things worse. We'll just have to wait and see how she is when she wakes up."
Daniel nodded his understanding.
"Gentlemen, you look beat. Why don't you go get some rest in your quarters and we'll get you when Sam wakes up." The General suggested.
They nodded their consent and went down the hall. At first they walked in silence. Then Daniel spoke up.
"Jack, Can we talk for a minute. There is something I need to tell you."
Jack was surprised at the archeologist's tone.
"Uh, sure. Your place or mine?"
"My quarters are closer." Daniel replied.
After they sat down. Daniel shared the contents of the note he carried in his pocket. Jack reacted as predicted.
"Daniel, I am so sorry. How long have you known?"
"It was three months ago."
"Why didn't you say anything, man?"
"At first I wasn't ready to accept it and then when I did, I didn't think I could handle everyone's reactions."
"So you've been carrying this burden all alone all this time?"
"Not exactly. Sam knows."
"Sam?"
"Yeah, she reads people really well and she could tell I was upset. Then she called me on it and I lost it in front of her. Don't be upset with her, Jack. I asked her not to tell anyone."
Jack wondered what else went on around him without his knowing about it. Just when you think you know a guy, or a gal for that matter!
"What about the Doc and the General?"
"Nope. They don't know. Sgt. Siler from SG-7 was just instructed to give me the note. He didn't read it or anything."
"I wonder why Kasuf didn't come and tell you in person. I mean a snake killing your wife is not exactly something they make a Hallmark for." Jack said with his usual sarcasm.
"He was too badly injured to come at first and then there were safety considerations. Apophis has been back there and on nearby worlds, although no harm has come to anyone. Skarra/ Klorel is still out there. So, there is still hope."
"What prompted you to tell me this now?"
"I guess Sam's ordeal was part of it. I realized I needed to move on. A part of me will always love Sha're, but I think she'd want me to get on with my life. At least that's what Sam said." Daniel finished with a faraway contemplative look on his face.
"Do you plan to tell the others? I mean I think that the General, the Doc, and Teal'c should be told."
"Yeah. But let's deal with Sam's crisis first. I'm ok. I'm dealing with it."
Jack put his hand on Daniel's shoulder in a supportive gesture.
"Ok. And if you ever need to talk I'm hear for you, ok? Especially since Sam, well I know she's been your support system."
"Thanks Jack. We'd better get some sleep."
"I don't think I can right now."
"Me neither."
"Say, Danny, you seemed to know what you were doing when we found Sam. Care to tell me how?"
"Oh, uh- Sha're, she uh..." Daniel said softly.
"You lost a baby too? No wonder! That's why Sha're's been on your mind." Jack said with a pained tone in his voice. Daniel had lost so much. It didn't seem fair. But then who said life, or death for that matter, was fair.
"Yes. I think our physiologies were incompatible. We stopped trying to have a baby after that. We were just starting to talk about trying again when she was taken."
"Maybe that's what caused Sam to lose her baby. The not being compatible I mean."
"Could be. We should tell Janet." Daniel glanced down at his watch. "It's been an hour, Jack. I don't know about you, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep till I know Sam's ok."
"Yeah, let's go."
Someone was calling her name. The voice seemed familiar. She tried to open her eyes, but they were so heavy. She tried again and slowly opened her eyes. As her vision cleared she saw the faces of her teammates, with the exception of Teal'c, looking down at her. Daniel smiled and Jack looked a little concerned.
"How are you feeling, Sam?" Daniel asked.
"Groggy and weak." She replied, then as her head began to clear she remembered what had happened and became upset. She tried to sit up suddenly and the pain in her stomach forced her back down. She placed a hand on her stomach, as the guys gently pushed her back down.
"Janet, the baby? Is it..." she said sitting part way up.
"Sam, you had a miscarriage. There was nothing that could be done." The doctor said joining the men of SG-1 at her bedside.
"Oh no." Sam chocked out. She lay back down and turned away from her friends, rubbing her stomach absent-mindedly.
Then she looked back at Janet.
"How did this happen? What caused it?"
"We don't know. What happened when it all started?"
"I ate breakfast and then went to shower. I was in the shower enjoying the hot water. Then all of a sudden a sharp pain rippled across my abdomen. The pain got worse and worse really quickly and then I looked down and saw the blood. It hurt so bad."
"Sam, it was not your fault. Sometimes these things just happen." Janet explained.
"I know. It's just, I was just getting used to the idea of this baby. And now..."
"Sam," Daniel began taking her hand in his to get her attention, "Jack and I were talking earlier. Maybe you miscarried due to an incompatibility in your physiology with Turghan's."
"Could that be true?" Sam asked.
"What do you base that theory on Daniel?" The doctor asked.
"On personal experience. Sha're and I lost a baby and that's the only conclusion I could come up with."
Everything was quiet for a moment. Daniel was being a lot more open than normal.
Finally, Janet said, " That makes sense. I think we'd better let Sam rest for now. Sam, I want you to stay in bed for at least a week. You have a lot of healing to do. How's your abdomen? Still hurting?"
"A little."
The Doctor injected some medicine into her IV line and then Sam began to relax a bit.
"Alright gentlemen, time to go." Janet said literally pushing Jack out the door.
Daniel hesitated a moment and squeezed Sam's hand in a show of support.
"Thank you Daniel."
"Anytime. You just rest and get better. Oh, Jack knows about Sha're. I'll tell the others soon as well."
"Ok. Daniel, tell Jack it's not his fault. I don't blame him for anything that happened."
"I'll tell him."
Jack awoke several hours later in his darkened quarters. It had been a rough day and he'd decided to take a nap. After leaving the infirmary he had gone to a meeting with the other Team Commanders. When asked about Captain Carter he kept his expression neutral and said she was still recovering. Two hours of tactical training later Jack went to find Daniel in his lab. Daniel had been working on some translations and had fallen asleep slumped over in his desk. Jack gently shook him awake.
"Rise and shine, Space Monkey."
Daniel leaned back, stretching out his stiff muscles.
"How was the meeting?"
"Oh, you know the usual, How To Win Battles and Influence Go'ulds." Jack said sarcastically.
"That good, huh."
"What've you been working on?"
"Just some translations for SG-6. Nothing new or exciting. Just the typical histories of civilizations long gone, thanks to your friendly neighborhood system lord."
"Well, I'm beat. I thought I'd go crash in my quarters for awhile, then check on Sam later."
"Sounds like a plan. Ah- Jack, She asked me to tell you that what happened is not your fault. She doesn't blame you and neither should you."
"She said that? I'll have to have a little talk with her later about worrying about others when you need to focus on yourself."
"Hey, we're all guilty of that sometimes. Now, get out and let me go back to sleep. I was having the best dream."
"Yeah?"
"Let's just say it included the beach, the Baywatch women and there was definite frolicking involved." Daniel said smiling.
"Daniel, I am shocked. I thought I was the only one who had dreams like that." Jack said shaking his head as he left the archeologist's lab.
He'd gone to his quarters then and immediately gone to sleep. He hadn't intended to sleep for so long. Jack sat up and rubbed his eyes. He glanced at the clock by his bed. 3:30 a.m. it said. He stretched and was about to turn over and go back to sleep, when the claxons began to sound. Jack went immediately to the control room.
"What's going on, airman?" he asked the soldier on duty.
"Unauthorized gate activation."
"Any GDO code?"
"Yeah, it's Captain Carter's code."
"How is that possible? She's in the infirmary, isn't she?"
"Yes, we called down to the infirmary and Dr. Frasier confirmed she was there. Should we open the iris sir?"
Jack noted the soldiers armed and ready in the gate room.
"Open the iris. Everybody stay sharp," he said into the microphone.
They sat watching the glowing blue puddle and waiting. Finally a familiar figure emerged, familiar but unwelcome.
Jack restrained himself from running down to the gate and beating the living tar out of Turghan. He stood in all his arrogance and pomp at the top of the ramp.
"Where is Carter?" he demanded.
Daniel skidded to a halt in the control room.
"Oh crap." He said upon seeing Turghan.
"Daddy's here," Jack muttered.
"What do we tell him?" Daniel asked.
"We're not giving her to him. Daniel, get to the infirmary fast, stop by the crew quarters and get a couple of the guys to get weapons and guard the infirmary. I want you to stay with Sam. Keep her safe while I handle this."
"Jack, you're not going to kill him are you?"
"Not if I don't have to. Although it is taking considerable restraint not to go beat him raw."
"Right, I'll be in the infirmary."
With that Daniel left to carry out Jack's orders. Jack then turned back to the gate room where Turghan was now pacing in front of the gate. The soldiers kept their weapons trained on their visitor.
"Where is she?"
"Where you can't hurt her anymore," Jack finally replied.
"She is mine. I paid fairly for her."
"Captain Carter is no one's property. We treat women with respect here." Jack continued as he entered the gate room. The blast doors sealed shut with a bang behind him.
"So, you might as well turn right around and go home."
"She is with child, my child." The Warlord yelled.
"What makes you think that?"
"All my women bear me children right off."
Aren't we confident in our abilities! Jack thought.
"She no longer carry's your child."
"You are lying!"
"Why would I? I brought her here myself, bleeding as the child was lost." Jack replied.
Turghan pondered this latest development for a moment.
"Then we must try again. Bring her to me."
"Only two chances of that happening, slim and none!" Jack yelled back.
"She is mine!" the Warlord yelled furiously.
"What's it going to take for you to understand? She is nobody's property. Now, I'm asking you to please leave and never come back. If you don't I will order these men to fire. Sam's been hurt enough by what you did to her and no one should have to go through that. So, leave now or I will do to you what I have wanted to since I found you attacking her."
Daniel skidded to a halt at Sam's bedside. She was awake and sitting propped up on pillows. Janet was in her office on the phone with the General, apprising him of what was happening.
"Daniel, what's happening?"
"Offworld gate activation," he said trying to sound calm and casual.
"Who is it?"
"Not sure. Jack's handling it," Daniel said trying to deflect her question. If she knew what was really going on it would upset her.
"Daniel, you're acting as if its no big deal. If that's true why did you run in here and why are there guards outside the infirmary door?" Sam demanded.
"Sam, its nothing you need to worry about. I'm sure Jack has it all under control."
"Daniel. Tell me." She insisted. Daniel sighed and reluctantly began.
"Turghan must have found your GDO and came for a visit."
Sam paled at the mention of her attacker's name. Daniel could see the fear in her eyes.
"Sam, you are safe here. Jack has him secured in the gate room and he will die before he lets him get near you. Jack sent me here to keep an eye on you. Neither he nor I will let anything happen to you," Daniel said taking her hand in his and trying to soothe her.
Sam clung to his hand like a lifeline. Daniel could feel the tension in her body and knew this was not good for her. He gently sat on the bed next to her and took her into his arms. He held her and rubbed her arms to comfort her.
"Daniel, what if he overpowers Jack and comes here. He'll be so angry when he finds out about me losing the baby. He'll want to punish me - he'll beat me again. I can't take that again - I..." Sam went on hysterically.
"Sam, you are safe. Calm down. I've got you. And Major Ferretti and Colonel Kingsley are right outside the door with big guns. Kingsley is almost as big as Teal'c, so we're covered. They have orders to shoot Turghan if he gets to the door."
"Ok." She was beginning to calm down a little. Janet came darting out of her office at the sound of the alarms on the machines monitoring Sam's vitals.
"What's going on? Are you ok, Sam?" she asked.
Sam said nothing, just stared at the door in fear. She seemed to curl up, like someone wanting to protect themselves.
"She demanded to know what was going on. I told her about our visitor and she reacted as you can see her now. She's ok for now." Daniel explained quietly.
Janet checked the machines and the IV bag. After injecting some more mediation into the IV line and changing the bag, the doctor sat in a chair across from Sam's bed to wait. Sam's whimpering a few minutes later grabbed the doctor and Daniel's attention.
"Janet, she's shaking." Daniel said with concern.
"Sam, listen to me. You're ok. He can't ever hurt you again. Come on. Talk to me, Sam." Daniel began.
Sam continued to stare and shake. She showed no signs of having heard Daniel.
"I'm not getting through, Janet."
"I already gave her a light sedative. I'm hesitant to give her anymore. But we need to get her calmed down. Daniel, come and sit facing her and try talking to her again. We need to get her attention."
Daniel did as instructed. He sat on the bed facing her and grabbed her arms.
"Sam! Please, look at me. You're safe. Sam-honey, Jack's protecting you out there and I'm here to keep you safe."
He kept repeating that she was safe until she started to cry. She stopped shaking and seemed to be back with them. She leaned forward into Daniel's arms. He held her and rocked her back and forth while she cried. She clung to him almost desperately. Janet added a little more of the light sedative to the IV. A few minutes later Sam relaxed a bit and then fell asleep, still holding onto Daniel. Footsteps sounded outside the infirmary and Daniel and Janet turned to see who was coming. It was Jack. He dismissed the two men on guard duty and then entered the infirmary. He wasn't sure what to make of his 2IC in Daniel's arms.
"How is she?" he asked quietly.
"Ok for now. It was a little touch and go there for a minute." Janet said.
"What happened?" Daniel whispered.
"Turghan wanted her back. He uh-wanted the child."
"How'd he know?"
"Apparently he's got great reproductive prowess. I told him what had happened. He didn't believe me at first and demanded her back to try again."
Daniel was shocked at the nerve of the Warlord.
"What did you do?"
"I tried things your way for a change, tried to be diplomatic. He wasn't getting it. I ended up having the men tackle and subdue him. I got the GDO back and then we dialed up his planet and threw him back through the gate. If he ever comes back, the standing order is to shoot him on site." Jack finished.
"Good. I don't think Sam could take another visit from Turghan." Daniel said.
"What happened here?" Jack asked.
"Sam wanted to know what was going on. I tried to avoid answering the question, but you know Sam - too smart for her own good. She persisted and finally I told her who was here. She panicked and kind of went into a shock type state. I finally got her attention and she came back to us. Janet gave her a bit more sedative and she's asleep."
"I should have killed that guy." Jack said with disgust at the trauma Sam had to endure.
"Frankly I'm surprised you didn't." Daniel replied.
"Hey, I can exercise control when it is needed!"
"Good to know. Uh, Janet can you help me lay her down. I'm losing feeling in my arms." Daniel asked.
"Sure." Janet and Daniel gently laid Sam back on the bed, disengaging her hands from Daniel's shirt.
Jack noticed the wrinkles where Sam had gripped Daniel's T-shirt. When Daniel turned Jack could see the tear stains on the front of the shirt. He felt his stomach clench and a lump rise in his throat at seeing the signs of how troubled Sam had been. "Have you guys eaten anything?"
"No, I'm starving," Daniel said stretching.
"Why don't you two go get a bite in the commissary." Janet suggested.
"I don't want to leave Sam alone. I told her I'd be here." Daniel said.
"Daniel, I'm not hungry. I'll stay with her and you and the Doc can grab some breakfast." Jack said.
"Ok. We won't be long." Daniel replied and escorted the Doc out of the infirmary.
Jack sat in the chair at Sam's bedside. He looked at her and could see the signs of trauma and upset. Her hair was wet with sweat and her body was still somewhat tense. Her sleep was fitful, as she twitched every so often. Jack tried to imagine his strong, independent 2IC in shock as Daniel had described. He felt her pain as if it was his own. He wanted to hold her, shield her from all the evil in the world, or from any other world. Before he could stop himself, he had reached out and brushed the hair from her face. The hand nearest him had fallen to her side. Jack held it in his and just watched her sleep. He thought about when they had first met. As he was reliving her arm wrestling challenge, the sound of the claxons startled him out of his reverie. Reluctantly he let go of Sam's hand and went to the phone. Hammond was off base, so he was the senior officer in charge. He called the control room.
"What's going on?" He asked.
"Teal'c 's back."
"Good."
Sam sat up suddenly as the sound of the claxons penetrated her drug induced sleep. Jack was stunned by the look of fear and terror on her face. He immediately dropped the phone and went to her side.
"Sam, you're safe. Its just Teal'c returning from visiting his family."
Sam nodded and took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. She was still tense. Jack went back to the dangling phone.
"Lt., Can you shut off those blasted alarms?"
"Yes sir."
Immediately, the noise ceased and Sam visibly relaxed. Jack hung up the phone and returned to her side. He took her in his arms and gently rubbed her back. He spoke soothing words to her. She leaned into his strong muscular frame, drawing strength from him. Sam closed her eyes and the tears came again.
"Shh. You're ok. You're safe." Jack continued to whisper. He brushed the hair from her face again and kissed the top of her head. Daniel and Janet came crashing through the door just in time to witness the kiss.
"What happened?" Janet asked, immediately checking the machines monitoring Sam's condition.
"The gate claxons scared her," he said softly.
Daniel's expression changed to one of deep concern for his friend. She was more traumatized then they had thought at first. Satisfied that Sam was calming back down, Janet turned away from the machines.
"Janet, I'm no psychiatrist, but I think she will do better away from the base for awhile anyway." Jack said still holding Sam who had fallen back asleep.
"I agree. But she'll have to come back eventually and face things at the SGC if she is ever going to resume working here." Janet said.
"We need to get her away from here and from things that remind her of all this at least till she's emotionally and psychologically stronger." Daniel agreed.
"What about my cabin in Minnesota?" Jack suggested.
"Its peaceful and relaxing. It's perfect," Daniel agreed.
Janet gave her consent, but only after Sam woke up, was examined and given the choice to go.
A couple hours later, Sam awoke to find Daniel by her bed. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and tried to sit up. Daniel stood and helped her up.
"Where's Jack?" She asked.
"He had to conduct a debriefing. Gen. Hammond's off duty today, so Jack's the head guy."
"Oh."
"How are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Glad to hear it. We were really concerned about you. Jack wouldn't leave until Gen. Hammond called and ordered him to conduct SG-3's debriefing."
Sam smiled.
"Sorry I scared you all. I don't know what happened. I just couldn't..."
"It's ok Sam. No need to apologize. After what you've been through I wouldn't have expected you to react in any other way. Now, is there anything I can get you?" Daniel asked.
"I'm hungry."
"Ok, Let me get Janet and if she gives the ok I'll go see what I can get you from the commissary."
Sam nodded her consent and Daniel went to find the doctor.
"Ok, Sam. You can lie back down. The wounds on your back are healing nicely. And your other wounds are almost completely better."
"Good."
"Now, I know this won't be pleasant, but I need to do a gynecological exam and see how things are healing from the miscarriage."
Sam tensed a bit. Then nodded for the doctor to continue. Sam looked away as the doctor performed the exam.
"Everything looks really good. Sam, " She said getting her attention, "I wanted to ask you about something. Colonel O'Neil and Daniel think that it might be easier for you to recover if you had some time away from the SGC. Jack suggested his cabin in Minnesota as a place you could go. He'd go with you and Daniel and I would pop in for visits every now and then. I agree with them, but I want this to be your decision. And I told the guys the same thing."
"I don't need to go away. I'm fine, really." Sam protested. Then the claxons sounded along with the usual "Incoming Wormhole" announcement. Janet watched as Sam tensed up, fear in her eyes. She stayed that way till the claxons stopped, indicating that a scheduled team had returned.
"Sam, you are not fine. Look at what just happened. You tense up and go into a near panic state every time the gate opens. Forget the psychological side for a minute. Physically all this tensing and fear is causing great stress on your system. Your blood pressure goes up each time and your breathing becomes shallow. It's not good for anyone to be in that state for long and here you'll be constantly exposed to it. We're not taking you off the duty roster permanently, just for a short while till you are stronger. At some point you will have to return and either come to terms with what happened and with the gate or you may decide its best to leave the SGC. That is up to you. Ok?"
"Ok." She agreed quietly.
Janet could see that Sam was still upset.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
"I just hate feeling this way. You know scared and insecure all the time. It's not me. I feel like some weakling damsel in distress and I hate it. But I can't stop it. The gate activates and the claxons sound and I turn into this shaking little girl. Just thinking about it is enough. I'm afraid, Janet."
"Afraid of what?" the doctor asked.
"Of everything. That I'm losing my mind. That I'll never be normal or whole again. That I'll always feel this way. And I'm angry. Angry at..." Sam replied.
Jack walked quickly down the hall. He hadn't wanted to leave Sam, but duty sometimes calls. The debriefing had seemed to last for hours, when it had only actually been 30 minutes. Then there was a small pile of paperwork that required his attention and signature. He wondered how General Hammond stood it all. He was anxious to return to Sam's side and nearly collided with two Sergeants and a Lieutenant on his way to the infirmary. He reached the infirmary doors and walked right in.
"And I'm angry." He heard Sam say. Oh, please don't let her be angry at me. I wish that I could've stopped what happened to her, that I could've prevented it.
"Angry at Turghan for doing this to me and at Mughal's son for getting me into the situation in the first place and at old fashioned, male dominated, misogynistic societies in general!" Sam spat out.
"Is it safe?" Jack tried to lighten the mood with his usual charm.
"Come on in Colonel," Sam said rearranging the bed linens to be sure she was covered.
Jack feigned being scared as he entered the room.
"How's SG-3? Dr. Warner doing the physicals?" Janet asked.
"They are fine. Just the usual meet-and-greet mission. And Dr. Warner took care of the medicals. How's the patient here?" Jack replied.
"Just venting some steam." Janet said.
"Yeah. I'm ok."
"Good. Keep talking about it. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up inside." Janet replied patting Sam on the leg, "I'm going to go check on my other patients."
"Other patients?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, apparently Lt. Stephens and Sgt. Jones suffered some minor injuries when a fast moving Colonel ran into them." Janet teased Jack. Then seeing his look of surprise she clarified," the nurse let me know."
"Oh."
Sam laughed. Her friends turned to look at her as it was the first time she'd done so since the miscarriage. Janet left the room. Jack stood at the bedside.
"Janet told me of your little plan." Sam began.
"Plan?"
"You know 'Operation: Minnesota.'"
"Oh! That plan. So what do you think?"
"Sounds ok to me. When can we leave?"
"Uh- I'm on duty till Hammond gets back which should be..."
"Now. How are you doing Captain?" The round General asked entering the room.
"Better. Thank you sir."
"Glad to hear it. Colonel, why don't you come to my office and brief me on what happened while I was gone and then you can go on down time."
"Sir?" Jack's mind was still jumping for joy that Sam had agreed to come to the cabin that he couldn't think of what the General was referring to.
"Reports from the teams that have returned, any unusual visitors, etc."
At the mention of visitors, Sam visibly tensed and paled for a moment and then quickly regained control. She's not about to fall apart in front of the General. Jack thought.
"Oh, right Sir. I'll be right up."
The General nodded at his officers and left.
"Sam, why don't you get dressed and ready to go, assuming the doc has okayed it. It shouldn't take more than half an hour, 45 minutes tops to brief the general. Then I'll be ready to go."
"Ok. I'll meet you topside in 45 minutes." Sam agreed smiling.
"Good." Jack turned on his heel and was out the door.
Janet returned and okayed Sam's release on the condition that she take it easy and report any further problems. She agreed and left to go to the locker room for a shower and change of clothes. Twenty minutes later Sam emerged from the locker room feeling fresh and clean. She still had some time before she was scheduled to meet the Colonel and she was hungry. On her way to the commissary, Sam stopped by Daniel's lab to see if he would join her. He agreed.
They sat at a corner table, she with a full plate of the day's special and he with his favorite coffee and a plate special of his own. They talked about the work Daniel was doing, careful to steer clear of anything connected with Sam's trauma.
"Janet told me about your and Jack's little plan to get me away from here."
"And what did you think?"
"I resisted it at first and then when the gate opened and I panicked again. Janet used my reaction as exhibit A. Daniel, I don't know what to do to get better." Sam said starting to cry.
Daniel reached across the table and brushed a tear away with his thumb.
"Hey," he said, "It's ok to be upset. If it had been me I'd be crying like a baby."
"Right, Mr. I'm-not -gonna-tell-anyone-my-wife-died."
"Ok. So you've got me there, but you told me that I needed to let my feelings out."
"Touch. I know. It's just that I hate feeling like this, you know so helpless and weak and scared all the time. Do you know what it's like to not feel safe no matter where you go or what you do?"
"So, Janet agreed that it would be good to take Sa-Captain Carter away from base for a little while." Jack finished.
"What did Captain Carter think of all this?"
"She wasn't thrilled at first. You know how she always feels she has to prove herself and be tough. But she agreed to go."
"And we're sure Turghan won't be back?"
"Pretty sure, sir. I left a standing order that if he comes back he's to be shot on site."
"A bit much, Colonel?"
"No sir. If you had seen Sam's reaction to his visit you'd know that my order is generous. I talked to Daniel and Dr. Frasier and what they described made me wish that I had beaten him to death."
Hammond noticed the slip Jack made calling Sam by her first name, but he said nothing.
"I'll talk to them soon. All right, well Jack enjoy your leave and take care of Sam. Oh and uh keep in touch. I want to know how she's doing."
"Will do, Sir."
Jack went topside, but he didn't see her name on the sign out list.
"Airman, has Capt. Carter been by here?"
"No sir. I'd remember if she'd been by." The young soldier said with a dreamy look on his face.
"Remember your place, soldier. She outranks you and should be respected."
"Yes sir. I meant no disrespect, sir."
"Good. As you were." And with that Jack returned back into the base.
He thought about where she might be. Her lab? No. She knew better than to work now. Locker room? Maybe. He went to the locker room to find a couple of guys from SG-7 toweling off.
"Gentlemen, have you seen Captain Carter in here?" Jack asked.
"Nope, but I'd like to." One of the guys teased.
"Watch it Lt." Jack growled. He never realized what a bunch of hormone-crazed dogs he worked with.
"I think I saw her heading toward the commissary with Dr. Jackson." Another airman said. "Thank you. As you were." Jack said and left. But not before he overhead the guys say, "See I told you he likes her. Did you see how he defended her and what about the way his jaw tensed when you told him she was with Dr. Jackson?"
Great. Why don't I just wear a t-shirt that says "I'm in love with my 2IC!"
Daniel drank the last of his coffee and was heading for a refill when Jack spotted him.
"Where's Sam? I was told she was with you." Jack asked.
"Yeah. She just left. Said something about being late to meet you topside."
"Oh. Better run then. Thanks."
Jack came out of the elevator and found Sam talking with the young airman. It bothered him. But he tried to keep it under control. It's an innocent conversation. If he couldn't control his emotions now it was going to be torture at his cabin.
"Captain Carter, sorry I kept you waiting." He tried to sound relaxed and not put too much emphasis on her rank for the airman's benefit.
"No problem, sir."
After a short stop at Sam's to collect her belongings they were off. Jack put a new age CD into the car CD player.
"I didn't know you listened to Jim Brickman, sir?" Sam said recognizing the music.
"First of all, the name is Jack. No Sir for the duration of this trip, ok? And secondly, yeah I find his music relaxing. After what we deal with everyday I find it nice to listen to something a little more soothing on the way home. But, Sam don't tell anyone else. I have to maintain my tough guy image."
"Ok, Jack. Is this his "Destiny" CD?"
"Yeah."
"I love this album." Sam replied and closed her eyes as she listened.
Pretty soon she had fallen asleep. Jack took advantage of this by stealing glances at her. She seemed calmer already. Then as the next song began to play Jack really looked at Sam.
? I am amazed
when I look at you
I see you smiling back at me
It's like all my dreams come true.
I am afraid
If I lost you girl
I'd fall through the cracks
And lose my track in this crazy lonely world
Sometimes it's so hard to believe
When the nights can be so long
And faith gave me the strength
And kept me holding on
(Chorus)
You are the love of my life
And I'm so glad you found me
You are the love of my life
Baby put your arms around me
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally find something real
My angel in the night
You are my love
The love of my life.
Now here you are
With midnight closing in
You take my hand as our shadows dance
With moonlight on your skin
I look in your eyes
I'm lost inside your kiss
I think if I'd never met you
About all the things I'd missed
Sometimes it's so hard to believe
When a love can be so strong
And faith gave me the strength
And kept me holding on
(repeat chorus) ?
The words seemed so appropriate to his feelings for and about Sam. He glanced at her again. He knew if he ever lost her he would lose his place in the world. He wouldn't want to exist without her. He acknowledged to himself that he did indeed love her. Jack considered everything that had happened, the mission, her attack, the resulting pregnancy and miscarriage and Turghan's visit. He wondered how Sam could bear it all as well as she had. As he continued down the highway, Jack resolved to be as supportive of her as he could and under no circumstances would he push his feelings on her. He would hold back, until she was ready.
It had been a couple of weeks since they first arrived at the cabin. Sam seemed to be flourishing there. They talked a lot of everything and nothing. Once a week Sam's therapist would call. Sam would sit alone in the library/study for her weekly counseling sessions. Jack would walk by and hear her crying and would have to stop himself from going in to comfort her. She needed to do this. Her wounds had mostly healed and she was back to being active again. Sam would walk around the lake each morning before breakfast. And though it was at times difficult, Jack managed to keep his feelings under control. Meanwhile Sam seemed to relax more around Jack. He thought she seemed to be drawing nearer him, but wasn't sure. As promised Janet and Daniel came for a visit. On Sunday afternoon Janet and Sam sat at the water's edge dangling their feet in the cool liquid. Jack and Daniel sat further back on the porch.
"Sam seems to be doing very well." Daniel began.
"Yeah. I think the counselor is doing wonders for her. And of course we can't forget the fresh mountain air, clear water and greenery."
"Of course."
"How are things back at the base?" Jack asked.
"Same old. Same old. Teal'c and I have gone on a few missions with some of the other teams. Ferretti sends his love." Daniel said with a smile.
"I'll bet."
"Hammond wants you to come back for a week. He has a mission or two he'd like you to go on. SG-6's commander was wounded and is on sick leave for at least a week. He wants you there tomorrow. I'll stay behind with Sam if you like."
Jack frowned at having to leave. He trusted Daniel, its just he didn't want to leave Sam.
"That would be great. Thanks Daniel. I'd better go flip the steaks." Jack said and rose to go to the grill.
A short while later they all sat around the table enjoying Jack's "Steak O'Neill". Finally Jack broached the subject of his leaving.
"General wants me there tomorrow. But Daniel will stay with you while I'm gone. Are you going to be ok with that, Sam?" Jack asked with concern.
"Yeah. I'll be fine, Jack." Then she turned to Janet, "Is Sgt. Buckhorn going to be ok?"
"Yes. He just needs to rest and heal. SG-6 was very lucky. They got out before the worst of the storm hit."
Daniel noted that Sam seemed to be at ease talking about work. It was definitely a good sign. He leaned back and smiled. Things were going to be ok.
Later that night after everyone had gone to sleep, Jack wandered into the living room. He couldn't sleep. He was surprised to find Sam standing by the window in the dark. She looked out and he wondered what she was seeing. Jack went and stood behind her careful to make enough noise to let her know he was there.
"What do you see?" He asked quietly.
"Just looking at the moon."
Jack was surprised when she leaned back against his chest. Reflexively he put his arms around her and held her to him. He loved this. He loved the feel of her in his arms. He loved that she trusted him.
"I'll be ok, Jack. Really I will. I'll miss you though."
"Me too, Sam. Me too."
"Jack, promise me one thing."
"What?"
"That you'll be careful out there."
"I promise. Besides, even Janet needs a break. Can't have all of SG-1 sick or hurt. Ferretti would never let me hear the end of it." Jack said sarcastically as he tried to get around the tension and the feelings that had arisen between them.
"He already doesn't, Jack." She teased.
Jack chuckled softly and then leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head.
"Well, I probably should head back to bed." He murmured, pulling away slightly.
"Not yet, Jack. Could you just hold me a little longer? Please."
He answered by hugging her tightly, both of them enjoying the sensation of warmth and of being together.
The next morning came far too early, as Monday mornings tend to do. Jack was up before the sun, as he had to report to the General at 0900. After packing what he would need, Jack went to the kitchen to make breakfast. As he cooked he thought of the previous evening. It had felt so good to hold Sam. They stayed that way for another half hour before going to bed - separate beds, although Jack wished it were otherwise.
Sam lay in her bed. She'd been awake since she heard Jack start the shower. She forced the images the shower generated out of her mind. Totally inappropriate, she chastised herself. She sighed and she remembered the previous evening standing in front of the window. She breathed deeply and she recalled the scent of him, his aftershave mixed with his essence. She could still smell traces of it on her t-shirt. Stop it! She chastised herself again. The smell of frying eggs and bacon finally coaxed her out of bed. Sam glanced in the mirror and after running her hands through her hair she left.
She found him standing at the stove scraping the scrambled eggs onto a platter along with the bacon.
"Smells delicious." She said.
He turned and smiled at her.
"Thanks. I try."
"Can I help?" Sam asked.
"It's just about ready. Uh- you could pour juice into the glasses." Jack said glancing at the table.
A few minutes later a sleepy Daniel stumbled into the kitchen, his hair sticking up a little and his eyes half open.
"Coffee." He muttered as he fell into a chair at the table.
Sam laughed and turned to make the archeologist his favorite brew. Janet soon followed and they all sat down to eat. Two cups of coffee later Daniel began to eat. Shortly after the dishes were done Jack and Janet climbed into the rental car and headed to the airport for the flight back to Cheyenne Mountain. Sam stood for a few minutes with Daniel at her side, watching them go and finally turned and went back inside the cabin.
Daniel followed her in a little concerned at how Jack's departure might affect Sam. He found her clearing the dish drainer of its contents.
"Sam, why don't you get in the shower? I'll finish this."
"Are you sure you don't want to go first, Daniel? There might not be any hot water left afterwards."
"Yeah. I'm still not quite awake yet. It would be dangerous for me to shower first. I could drown." Daniel joked.
"Ok." She said and laughed.
An hour later Daniel emerged from the shower to find Sam sitting in the living room engrossed in one of her astrophysics books. He smiled relieved. Everything was going to be ok.
The week passed slowly for both Sam and Jack. He called her between missions and Daniel marveled at the way she would light up while talking to Jack. Jack asked to talk to Daniel and Sam passed him the phone.
"How has it been going, Daniel?"
"Fine. She seems to be 100% better than she was back at Cheyenne."
"Yeah. How'd her counseling session go?"
"Really well from what I could tell. I didn't hear her cry at all." Daniel reported.
"Good. Sam thinks I'm coming back on Saturday, but I'm actually coming in Friday night to surprise her. Don't tell her."
"Ok. What's up with you two, anyway?"
"Nothing. We've just gotten to know each other better, become good friends. That's all."
Yeah, right. Daniel thought. And I'm a four star general!!
"Good. See you soon, Jack."
Friday night Daniel put another log on the fire he had been building and then sat back with Sam to admire it. They munched on popcorn and discussed a translation Daniel had been working on.
"I don't think so, Daniel. I mean I know that I am not as well versed on early Babylonian society as you are but I doubt they had that type of ritual back then." Sam was saying as she rose to get more lemonade to drink. A couple hours later Daniel rose to wash the dishes they had used. Sam had fallen asleep on the sheepskin rug in front of the fire. Daniel looked up when he heard the keys rattle in the door. He glanced quickly back at Sam and was relieved to see she was still asleep. Slowly and quietly Jack opened the door, setting his bag just inside it. He tiptoed in and indicated that Daniel should stay quiet. Jack went over and knelt down next to Sam. He brushed the hair from her face and then softly stroked her cheek with his thumb. Sam began to stir.
"Daniel, stop it. Let me sleep." She said trying to brush the offending hand away. Then feeling the calloused fingers, she suddenly opened her eyes.
"Jack?" she said and flung herself into his waiting arms, "You're back early."
"Yeah. We finished sooner than expected and I wanted to surprise you." He said with a smile.
"Well you did. Daniel, did you know about this?"
"Yeah, but Jack swore me to secrecy."
"Ah." She replied.
Daniel left the next morning with promises to return in a couple of weeks. Jack decided to accompany Sam on her morning walk around the lake. At first they were silent, enjoying Mother Nature's bounty. Jack was surprised to feel Sam take his hand in hers. It seemed like such a paradox to him. This was a time when she should be closed off to men and yet she was continually surprising him with her openness toward him. He also knew that he had to tread lightly. Any hint of pushing too far could send Sam's progress back weeks. But, Jack was finding it increasingly hard to hold back his feelings. He loved her more than he had anyone else, except maybe his son. He had loved Sarah but that was so long ago. Things between them had begun unraveling long before Charlie's death. Being apart as much as they were didn't lend itself to building a solid relationship. And after Charlie there seemed nothing left, no reason to go on.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Sam said shaking him out of his thoughts.
"Oh, uh just thinking about how beautiful it is out here." He lied, "I missed it and -and you."
Sam was astonished at his admission. She thought he might have some feelings for her but was never sure. She was sure however, of her feelings for him. She had come to depend on him a great deal. She had been attracted to him from the moment they met, but because of the regulations she had pushed all thoughts of anything more aside. Sam had never let herself become so dependent on anyone else especially on a man, and it didn't sit entirely well with her. But she knew that without his support she would never have recovered as much as she had. "Sam?" Jack said getting her attention.
" Oh, I missed you too. Jack, I've been thinking. At some point I need to make a decision about my future with the SGC."
"If my vote counts, I vote for you to come back."
"Your opinion matters a great deal to me Jack. But I'm just not sure if I can handle everything. I mean I don't want you to have to worry that I'll fall apart and put the team in danger."
"Sam, I trust you with my life. I'm in no way concerned that when push comes to shove you'd be there and do your duty. I am however concerned about you. I want you to do what's best for you. More than I want you back with SG-1 I want you to be happy. And if that's not with SG-1 I can accept that."
"Thanks, Jack. That means a lot. I think that I need to face my fear and then take it from there. Janet mentioned that she wanted to do a follow-up exam just to be sure everything had healed properly. I think I'll call her and see if I might come to see her at the mountain this weekend. Just see how I feel there, you know test the waters."
"Ok. I think there's a flight we can catch at 7pm Friday night."
"Jack, I have loved having your support and you with me, but I think this is something I need to do myself."
"Are you sure?" he asked concerned. He really wanted to see her through this.
"Yes. But we still have this week together." She said with a smile.
t was a good week. Janet agreed to Sam's little plan. Daniel was flying out to keep Jack company while Sam was gone. Sam and Jack had many talks during the week. Jack had begun to feel that if he didn't tell Sam soon how he felt he would explode. He did however decide that it would be better to tell her after her visit to the SGC. Finally Friday came. Sam packed a small bag with what she would need for the weekend and loaded it into the car. Jack insisted on at least driving her to the airport.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" Jack asked for the 10th time.
"No, I'm not sure. But if I don't do this my way I'll never get my confidence back. I don't want to do this alone, but I think I need to." She said firmly.
Jack nodded and then they were on their way. At the airport he crushed her to him in a fierce hug goodbye. Sam was surprised to see tears in his eyes when she pulled back. She reassured him that she would be ok and that she would call when she got there. With that she left. Jack watched till she was on the plane and then left to meet Daniel's flight. The two men drove home with Daniel chattering the whole way about some new project he was working on. Jack was quiet the whole ride back to the cabin.
"Jack, she'll be fine. Janet will take good care of her." Daniel said noticing Jack's silent demeanor.
"I know. I keep telling myself that. She's come a long way since she left the SGC. I just - I worry about her, Daniel."
"You love her, don't you Jack?"
Jack was a little stunned at Daniel's statement. But in a defeated tone he answered, "Yes, I do."
"Does she know?"
"Not yet. I thought it best to wait till after she gets back from the SGC."
"Do you know how she feels about you?" Daniel asked.
"Not sure. Sometimes I think she feels the same way. I know she trusts me."
"Jack, she loves you. I'm almost sure of it."
Jack nodded.
"What are you going to do about your feelings?" Daniel asked.
Jack wished Daniel would leave it alone instead of forcing him to face problems he didn't want to yet.
"Not sure. It kind of depends on what Sam decides about her future at the SGC. I know that I don't want to lose her. I'm not sure of her feelings yet and I sure as heck don't want to jeopardize her career."
"I'm sure the two of you will work it out."
Sam signed in at the front gate and was greeted warmly by the airman on duty.
"It's good to have you back, mam."
"Thank you, Airman. Good to be back." She said with more confidence than she felt.
Steeling herself for what was to come Sam went down the elevator and to the infirmary. Janet was there ready and waiting. She was amazed at the change in Sam. She could see that Sam was still a little shaky, but she seemed to have some of her old confidence back. After a quick check-up to see that all had healed properly, Janet escorted Sam to the commissary for a bite to eat.
"So, how are you feeling about things?" Janet asked.
"I feel pretty good being here. I admit I was a little nervous, but now that I'm here everything seems fine." Sam replied.
"I can see that. You seem to be doing very well. Have you made any decisions about coming back?"
"Not yet. That's why I wanted to come today, to see if I could handle it and how I would feel. So far so good."
"Glad to hear it. Now, on to the good stuff. Daniel tells me that you and the Colonel have been getting along really well."
"We have become very good friends."
"Just friends?"
"Well, for now."
"Do you love him?"
"I think I do. I've tried not to what with regulations and now this whole mess I've been through. It seemed like the last thing I should want to do. But I fell in love anyway."
"What about Jack? Does he feel the same way?"
"I don't know. I thought he might, but he hasn't said anything."
"He might just be holding back to let you heal."
"Maybe."
After lunch, Sam met with General Hammond. They talked about how everything was going and what her options were. She agreed to give it some serious thought and give him her answer by the end of the following week.
"It's good to see you again, Sam. Have you called your father yet?"
"No sir."
"You might want to. He's been calling weekly for updates on your condition. I told him you were improving. But he still seemed quite concerned. It's a parent thing."
"Ok. Will do, Sir."
And with that she left the general's office. Sam walked around the base. It felt good to be back in her lab. She grabbed a couple of books she'd left behind and continued on her way. Sam stopped in the control room. Several of the guys on duty welcomed her back. She thanked them and asked about what had been going on during her absence.
"Are any teams scheduled to return soon?" she asked.
"Uh, I think SG-7 and 8 are scheduled to return within the hour. They were on a joint mission to P3X734. Just the standard meet and greet." Lt. Simmons replied.
"Good."
Sam went down to the gate room and walked around. She stood at the base of the ramp and stared up at the stone ring. General Hammond watched her from the control room. Suddenly the gate sprang to life. It startled Sam a little but didn't seem to scare her. Lt. Simmons indicated that the proper GDO codes had been received. The iris was opened and Sam moved to the back of the room to allow the usual guards to come in. Minutes later the two SG teams walked calmly down the ramp. The guards relaxed the holds on their weapons. They all greeted Sam as they left the room for their medicals and showers. She'd faced the gate and it had been ok. She could come back and do this. She would be ok. But what of her feelings for Jack? They couldn't work together and be involved. It was against the rules. Sam decided it was time to have a talk with her CO. Calmly, she left the gate room and after a quick call to reassure her father, she left the base. Sam drove to her house and found it as she had left it. She picked up a couple of things she would need, including a favorite dress, a red satin gown that reached to mid-calf. Then anxious to get back to Jack she called the airlines and got an earlier flight out. Two can play at the surprise arrival game she thought.
Meanwhile, back at the cabin, Jack was growing more anxious and had begun pacing. It was driving Daniel crazy. Sam hadn't called when she arrived and this left one Colonel scared with worry. Janet finally did call to let the guys know that the physical had gone well and Sam seemed fine. When he asked why Sam didn't call herself, Janet explained that Sam was meeting with the General. This aggravated Jack as well. He just wouldn't feel at peace until Sam was back in his sights. Over the course of the month they'd spent at the cabin, Jack had become very protective of her and his feelings had only deepened. When she returned they would have to have a talk. Meanwhile, he had to get himself under control and calm down before Daniel shot him with a tranquilizer dart.
Sam checked her watch as she walked off the plane. It was late - 2:00 a.m. But she didn't care. She felt better than she had in months. She had conquered her fear and was back in control. The only thing she still felt uneasy about was intimacy. She hadn't faced that fear yet. But maybe she would have that opportunity soon. She took a cab out to the cabin and after paying the man, grabbed her suitcase and garment bag and crept quietly into the cabin. She left her bags by the door as Jack had done, pausing only to lay the garment bag over the back of a nearby chair. Sam found Daniel asleep in a chair in the library; a book lay opened in his lap. Typical Daniel. She thought. Jack had managed to crawl into his bed before falling asleep. Deciding to be daring, Sam lifted the covers on the vacant side of the bed and crawled in, cuddling close to Jack. She promptly fell asleep.
The next morning Jack awoke early and was surprised to feel an arm on his chest. For a fraction of a second he wondered if Daniel had taken to sleepwalking, until he turned over to see the woman who shared his bed. Sam. His heart leapt at the thought. But what was she doing here? She wasn't due back for another day. He gently shook her awake.
"Sam. Sam. Wake up honey."
Sam stirred and smiled as she opened her eyes to Jack's handsome face.
"Hi."
"You're back early."
"Just paying you back for sneaking in early before." She teased.
" Oh! And this whole sleeping in my bed thing?" Jack teased back.
"I missed you." She replied seriously.
Jack looked into her eyes and thought he saw desire there. Before he could stop himself, he leaned in and kissed her. He pulled back afraid of her reaction. She just smiled and then at the same time they said, "We need to talk."
They laughed. Then Jack suggested they might want to get out of bed before Danny wandered in and found them in a compromising position. Sam agreed and threw off the covers. Jack was surprised to see she hadn't bothered to change into PJ's. They agreed to have that talk after Danny left the next day. Sam was having quite a bit of fun with surprising the guys. She made some coffee and went into the library to wake Daniel. When he caught the scent of his favorite coffee he said without opening his eyes, 'Thanks Jack."
'Welcome, Daniel."
His eyes flew open at the sound of Sam's voice.
"Sam! What? How?"
"I came back early. Got in last night. And don't worry I am fine."
"Good."
"Now drink your coffee and then join us for breakfast."
Daniel left the next day. He was pleased to see Sam so happy. Things had gone incredibly well at the SGC. He felt that SG-1 would be off on missions again very soon.
Sam and Jack sat in the living room. There was a little tension in the air, as both knew there were major issues to discuss. Not sure how to start, Jack decided to do the gentlemanly thing and let Sam go first. He indicated she should start and after taking a deep breath she began.
"Jack, I spoke with General Hammond about my options and after touring the SGC and the whole gate experience I feel really good about returning to active duty, except for one thing. Since my attack and coming here I have grown to care for you a great deal. I have come to depend on your strength and support. The bottom line is that I have fallen in love with you and I am not sure I want to leave what I have found here behind."
Jack breathed a sigh of relief. His biggest fear was that she wouldn't return his feelings.
"I know what you mean. I love you too, Sam, so much. It hurts to be without you. I was going crazy worrying about what you were facing back at the base. I am so proud of you and of how you have conquered your fears. I don't want to end what we have found here either." Jack said.
"So what do we do?"
"Let's lay out the options. 1. We go back to the SGC and resume our duties like we did before. 2. One or both of us resign and we stay together."
"Or 3. We do both. We just don't tell anyone we're together." Sam suggested.
Jack was a little surprised at this idea. Not that it hadn't occurred to him as well. He just didn't think it would be something she'd go for and he didn't want to risk her career. He wasn't concerned about his own.
"Sam, are you sure about option 3? I mean it's so risky."
"It is that, but I think it's worth the risk. Of course I wouldn't want to hurt your career."
"I don't care about my career. I've retired before and I can do it again. I'm more concerned about your career."
"That leads to option #4."
"Which is?" Jack asked.
"I return to the SGC but not SG-1. I work in the labs and would no longer be under your command, so we'd be free to pursue a relationship."
"But you love being in the field." Jack protested.
"I love you more, Jack. Besides it's not like I wouldn't still be involved with things and I enjoy working in the labs just as much as being in the field."
Jack sat in silence. Stunned by the admission of the strength of her feelings for him. Then he considered this option. He'd hate not having her by his side in the field, but he could come home to her every night.
"Which option do you like best?" Jack finally asked.
"One is not an option. It would be too hard to go back to "normal". Two is a possibility, but do you think that either one of us could really be happy away from the action? Three would be difficult as well, but not impossible. Four seems to be the best option. I also think Daniel and Teal'c deserve to know and maybe have a say as anything we do will affect the team."
"So you're saying you like four? I agree with what you said, but I intend to be with you regardless of what the others say, if you'll have me."
"Of course I'll have you. Are you...?" Sam asked as what he was saying sunk in.
"Yes, I'm asking you to marry me. I love you Sam and I want to share the rest of my life with you. So," he said slipping to kneel in front of her. He took her hands in his and asked, "Samantha, will you marry me?"
"Yes, Jack. Yes I will marry you." She threw her arms around him and they held each other for a moment. Then Jack kissed her with all the passion he'd been holding back. Sam responded in kind. Finally they came up for air. Then realizing they still needed to talk, Jack sat back in his chair.
"I don't have a ring yet, but we can go shopping for one tomorrow in town." Jack said grinning.
"Ok." She grinned back, "But what about work?" Sam was serious again.
"Why don't we go with option 3 until we get a chance to talk to the guys?" Jack suggested.
"But if we are found out it could mean the end of both our careers."
"Well, my guess is Hammond won't put you on field duty right away. He'll probably start you back in the labs. That ought to give us enough time to talk things over with the guys. "
"Alright. When should we get married?" Sam asked.
"As far as I'm concerned I want to do it as soon as possible, but I have been married before and this is your first time. I don't want to deprive you of the whole big wedding thing if that is what you want."
"Jack, in light of keeping things secret, I think we should just have a small wedding for now. And we can do it at the end of this week, say Friday?" Sam said matter-of-factly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Friday it is. I know a retired Air Force chaplain that lives near by. I'll call him and set it up. Anyone you want to invite?"
"Better not. The less who know the better." Sam said.
"Right."
They were silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. Jack looked at Sam, trying to read the emotions on her face. He moved to sit next to her on the couch and took her hand in his.
"Sam-honey, what are you thinking about?" he asked softly.
"Just letting it all sink in. I can't believe this is actually happening. I've wanted..." Sam stopped suddenly mid thought. Jack's eyes flew to her face. She was scared.
"What is it? You look scared to death. Am I rushing you into this?"
"Jack, no. I just realized that-that with getting married comes th-the honeymoon and I don't know if I can-after Turghan-I..." She was getting agitated. Sam was truly scared but not so terrified as she had been in the beginning.
"Sam, I promise you we'll take things at your pace, ok? I'll be gentle. I want you to feel the love that you deserve to feel. I will not push you faster than you are ready to go, ok?' He said looking her in the eye.
"Ok. Thank you. I love you Jack. I'm glad it will be you. There is no one I trust more. If it were anyone else I don't know if I'd have the courage to..." She said.
Jack wiped a tear from her eye and then pulled her into his embrace. He just held her.
"From the moment you were hurt I wanted to make it all better. Now I'll be able to at least help." He whispered.
"You've done more than help. I couldn't have recovered without you." Sam replied.
She pulled back a little, enough to look him in the eye and then leaned in and kissed him in a way that left him breathless.
"Frankly Sam, I don't think you'll have any problems with the honeymoon." Jack said with a smile.
Sam blushed and then stood up.
"Where are you going?" He asked afraid he might have upset her.
"To fix lunch. I don't know about you, but serious talks always make me hungry." She said.
"Oh. Ok." Jack rose a few minutes later and went to join her in the kitchen. Sam was standing at the stove stirring tomato sauce as it cooked. Jack was overwhelmed with the sight of her. He stood behind her and slipped his arms around her waist.
"I missed you." He said playfully.
She laughed and tilted her head up for his kiss. Then returned to preparing lunch.
Back at the SGC...
"I swear Janet, the sparks between them were so intense they were lighting the room." Daniel said as he sat in the doctor's office, for once not for medical services.
"Still, that doesn't mean anything is up. I agree with you that there is definitely something between them, but they are both professionals and would not do anything inappropriate."
"Yeah, but the circumstances of late have been anything but ordinary and professional." Daniel suggested.
That night Sam stood in front of the mirror fastening on her necklace. Jack had wanted to take her out for a nice dinner, insisting that they should have at least one real date before getting married. Sam was glad she had brought her red dress. She really wanted to wow her husband-to-be. After slipping on her earrings, Sam stepped back to appraise herself in the mirror. She felt confident and light. Sam went out into the living room. She laughed when she saw Jack fiddling with his tie in front of the entryway mirror. He didn't often dress so formally, and despite his discomfort he looked good. He caught a flash of red in the mirror and turned to see Sam. At first he couldn't say a word.
"You are beautiful," he finally managed to stammer.
Sam took in his blue-gray dress shirt and matching silk tie. He wore black dress pants and a matching jacket hung over a nearby chair. She too was awed. Jack regained his composure first and offered her his arm. Grabbing his jacket with the other they walked out the door. Throughout the dinner, Jack did not take his eyes off of Sam. He always knew she was a beautiful woman, but he rarely saw her out of fatigues, much less in a dress. Sam smiled at him and he realized she'd caught him staring. He looked down at his food and began to concentrate on eating.
After leaving the restaurant Jack took Sam for a walk on the bridge of a nearby lake. She stood at the railing looking up at the stars. The moonlight caught her in its glow and Jack thought he'd never seen a more beautiful sight. He wondered at his good fortune, to have found this woman and soon to get to make her his. He stood back just watching her. She seemed to be searching for something in the sky. Sam rubbed her bare arms as the cold evening air came off the lake.
"Cold?" he said instantly behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.
"Not any more." She said.
Jack kissed her neck and made his way to her waiting mouth. Sam closed her eyes and moaned in delight. Then she turned to face him and they continued to kiss. A few other couples walked passed smiling at the amorous pair. They broke apart and Sam turned back to look at the water shimmering below them. She breathed deeply surrounded by the scent of Jack's cologne mixed with his own scent. Never had she felt so safe, so at peace.
The next day they went back to town. While Jack made arrangements with the chaplain Sam shopped for a dress. She opted for something simple in a flowing white fabric with a white floral print. The skirt went to her feet. The dress was sleeveless. Her hair had grown some during her recovery, but was still on the short side. Sam decided to purchase a lacy hooded cape that went to the floor to wear in lieu of a veil. The hood tied very loosely with a white ribbon that was threaded through the fabric. After purchasing the clothing she met Jack at the local courthouse with the garment bag in hand. The bag was solid black so that Jack could not see its contents. Half an hour later they were walking down the courthouse steps with their newly purchased marriage license.
Next on the agenda was rings, but first they stopped at the car so that Sam could drop off her dress. At the jewelry store Sam fell in love with a unique looking ring. It was a platinum Claddaugh Ring with a small diamond on the center of the crown. Jack was pleased, as it was Irish in origin as was his family. Sam found a Celtic knot band to go with it, for Jack. They had decided that they would wear the rings on their dog tag chains instead of their hands until their marriage was public knowledge. And Sam liked the idea of having the symbol of Jack's love and commitment to her close to her heart.
Friday morning Sam woke with the sun. She had already called the General to let him know she was intending to return to duty at the SGC when she was cleared by her therapist and Doctor Frasier. Their appointment with the chaplain wasn't until 2 p.m. Sam rose and decided she would luxuriate in a long hot bath. Jack lay awake in his bed. He'd been awake since before the sun rose. He lay there thinking about what was to come that day and that night. He determined that no matter how much he wanted Sam, if she wasn't ready he would not push her into sleeping with him. He wanted her real first time to be enjoyable for her, so he would wait. That decision made Jack turned over to try and get a little more sleep. Then he heard the tub water running and all hope of sleeping was gone.
Dr. Janet Frasier stood in the medical lab processing Sam's lab work. She had taken some blood and other samples to check for any infections or other complications of healing. She prepared a slide of the blood and slid it under the microscope. Janet alternated looking at the sample, writing notes on Sam's chart, and slightly moving the slide. As she turned away to jot down a note, Janet thought she saw an anomaly. Quickly she looked back into the microscope. She wasn't sure what she was looking at, but Janet knew that whatever it was shouldn't be there. She needed to get Sam back for further tests right away.
Sam and Jack stood before the chaplain in his living room. His wife and brother stood as witnesses. As they exchanged their vows and then rings, Jack was never more sure of anything. Sam was dazzling in her simple, yet elegant gown and he loved the way the lacey hood laid on her hair. She looked like an angel. The chaplain pronounced them Husband and Wife. Jack leaned in and kissed his bride. It was a tender kiss, a promise of what was to come.
Back at the cabin the phone rang until the machine picked up.
"This is Jack. I've gone fishing. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when the fish stop biting. Beep."
"Jack, this is Janet. I need Sam to come back to the SGC right away. Please call me as soon as you get this message. It's important."
Jack and Sam had decided to stay the night at a cute little inn in town so as to avoid interruptions. Sam stood by the bed and removed her hooded cape, laying it on the bed. She turned to get a hanger to hang it on. Jack stood a little nervously watching her hang the lacy garment.
"Sam, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to or..."
"It's ok Jack. I'm not scared. I feel absolutely safe with you. Nothing can hurt me, least of all you. I love you, Jack." She said shedding her gown and adding it to the hanger.
She stood before him clad only in her slip and under clothing, all of which was white and lacey.
"Are you sure?" Jack asked while willing his body to remain in control.
"Yes. But if you don't want to..." she said suddenly feeling insecure.
"Oh, no Sam. Believe me I do want you. I just don't want to rush you."
"Good. 'Cause for a minute there I thought...I thought you didn't want me that way." She said a tear escaping her eye.
Jack moved to her side and gently wiped the tear away with his thumb, cupping her face with his hand.
"Samantha, don't ever think that. Desire is not an issue. You are the most beautiful, sexy and desirable woman. I want nothing more than to prove that to you, but more than that I want this to be an enjoyable experience for you. I want you to be happy."
"Oh Jack! I am so happy. And I love you so much. I want to show you too."
That was all the convincing he needed. They began to kiss and make their way towards the bed, dropping clothing as they went.
A few hours later, they lay in bed, content in each other's arms. Jack looked at his wife. He thought he saw a tear in her eye.
"Sam-honey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Nothing's wrong. I am just so happy. I never thought it could be like this. After Turghan I didn't think I could feel like this."
"When I heard you tell Janet what he had really taken from you my heart broke for you. I wanted you to experience what you are feeling now, as it should be."
"Thank you, Jack."
A little later they were hungry and dressed to get dinner.
The next day they returned to the cabin. They didn't want to arouse suspicions by staying away too long. Jack carried a laughing Sam over the threshold. After putting her on her feet he went back outside to get their bags. Sam went to check the messages, hoping nobody had missed them.
"Jack, this is Janet. I need Sam to come back to the SGC right away. Please call me as soon as you get this message. It's important."
Jack walked in, bags in hand and found his bride sitting in a chair near the answering machine with a shocked look on her face.
"Honey, what's the matter?" he asked crouching in front of her.
"Janet called- something's wrong." She mumbled pointing to the machine.
Jack played back the message.
"Did you call her yet?" He asked his own concern escalating.
"No."
Jack reached for the phone.
"Dr. Frasier, please. Col. Jack O'Neill."
He tried to smile reassuringly while the call was transferred.
"Dr. Frasier, " Janet said in a crisp voice.
"Doc, it's Jack. Sam's here with me. What's going on?"
"Jack! Where have you been?"
"We were in town. What's wrong? Turghan's not back is he?"
He saw Sam stiffen at that remark and then relax when he indicated he wasn't.
"No, nothing like that. I was running some tests and I found something. I want to run further tests."
"What is it?"
"I don't know. That's why I need you two back here. Sam for testing, you for support."
"Ok, we'll be on the next flight."
"Good. Has Sam been feeling all right? Any symptoms?"
"No. She's been fine."
"That's a good sign. I'll see you here in a couple of hours."
"Right, bye Janet."
Jack hung up the phone and turned to face Sam. He leaned against the counter, bracing himself with his hands.
"Sam, Janet said that she was running tests on samples she took from you and she found something."
"What?" Sam asked fearfully.
"She doesn't know what it is. She wants us on the next flight back to the mountain so she can run some more tests on you." Jack replied trying to remain calm.
"Oh no. Somehow I knew this was too good to last."
"What is too good?"
"Us. Our happiness. Everything. All of it."
"Sam, it may be nothing. She just wants to be sure. Let's not jump to any conclusions. Let's not think the worst until we have a reason to, ok?" Jack said crouching in front of her, taking her hands in his.
"Ok. Maybe we should go."
"Yeah. We'll just take what we took overnight with us. Oh, and how do we want to handle the married thing?" He asked looking at the silver band that now adorned his left hand.
"First we put the rings on the chains and second we don't say anything about it unless it becomes absolutely necessary. Be careful what we say. Call me Carter like you did before and I'll address you as Sir. Just pretend we aren't married."
"Sounds like a plan. Hey we can talk to Danny and Teal'c about the team," Jack suggested trying to lighten the mood a bit as they went back into the car.
The whole flight there Sam kept quiet. Jack got concerned that she was bottling up her emotions again, but let her alone. As the cab pulled up to the front of the Cheyenne Mountain Complex, Jack squeezed Sam's hand in a gesture of support. Then they got out of the car and he let go of her hand. They signed in at the gate and went to the elevator.
Sam entered the infirmary first with Jack right behind. Janet turned around at the sound of the door.
"Sam! Thank goodness you're here." The doctor said.
"Is it that bad?" Sam asked.
"I don't know."
"What did you find exactly?" Jack asked
"Near as I can tell it's a kind of organism, a bacteria or virus, but its nothing I have ever seen before. I'm betting you picked it up on Turghan's planet."
"But I've had no symptoms of any kind. In fact I feel better than I have in a long while." Sam protested.
"Like I said, I don't know for sure what we are dealing with. It may be nothing. I want to draw some more blood and possibly do an ultrasound or an MRI. But lets start with an exam and the blood work. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c are working on something in the lab they wanted your input on."
Jack turned to Sam. Janet left to get the tools for the exam.
"Should I go ahead and talk to the guys about the team?" Jack asked.
"Sure. Now go on. I'll be ok." She reassured him. Jack smiled at her and left as Janet was returning.
Jack found the boys in Sam's lab working on a translation. He just watched them for a minute, like a proud father watching his sons play. Then he cleared his throat to announce his presence.
"Whatcha playing with kids?" he asked in his usual sarcastic way.
"Jack! O'Neill" They said.
"Hi guys."
"How's Sam?" Daniel asked.
"She's fine. She's with the Doc. Hopefully this thing will turn out to be nothing."
"Yeah."
"Doc said you wanted to see me?" Jack asked changing the subject to distract himself from what might be happening in the infirmary.
"Yeah, truth is she just wanted us to provide an excuse to get you out of the infirmary."
"Oh. Well, there is something I want to talk to you both about," Jack began sitting on a nearby stool.
"Ok," Daniel said taking a seat.
"What I'm about to tell you will greatly affect SG-1. There have been some changes and I want your opinion on how to proceed." Jack said.
Both men nodded for him to go on. Jack took a deep breath.
"The past couple of months have been difficult. But I can't say I entirely regret them because they have given me a gift. Carter-Sam and I love each other as you have suspected, Daniel. We decided to do something about it. We got married yesterday."
"That's wonderful. Congratulations!" Daniel said patting Jack on the back.
"I extend my congratulations as well, O'Neill," Teak's said.
"But what about regulations?" Daniel asked.
"That's where your opinion comes in. We decided we were going to be together no matter what. As far as Sam's duty status goes, she is able to return to the team and fieldwork. She is also willing to stick with lab work if it means she and I can be together. The choice is do we go public with our relationship and have Sam leave the team or do we stay a team and keep our marriage secret. She wanted to give you guys the chance to have your say as what we do affects the team and you."
"I'm not sure what is best. I hate to lose Sam, from the team, I mean. But I can't help but think of the level of difficulty in maintaining such a big secret as a marriage. I know you two are disciplined and skilled officers, but you're bound to slip up and address each other informally or do some other thing that will tell the tale." Daniel said.
"Will this marriage compromise our functionality as a team?" Teal'c asked.
" I don't think so, at least in terms of us being able to do our duty."
"But what if one of you were to be captured?" Teal'c continued.
"You make a good point, Teal'c." Jack said.
"What do you and Sam want to do?" Daniel asked.
"I think we'd both prefer to have our relationship be above board. But there is more than us to consider." Jack said with a sigh.
"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?" A female voice said from the doorway.
"Sam! What did the doc say?" Jack asked.
"Nothing yet. She's still running the tests."
Jack put his arm around her.
"They know?" She asked.
"We sure do. I'm so happy for you," Daniel said.
"Thank you. So what's the verdict?" Sam asked.
"I think the consensus is that we want you with us, but it would best to have your relationship out in the open." Daniel said.
"So when do we talk to the General?" Sam asked accepting the guys' feelings.
"Why don't we go see if he's available now? I wanna get this over with." Jack said rising and taking his wife by the hand.
A quick call revealed that the general could see them. Nervously they walked down the hall toward the command center of the base. Jack grabbed Sam's hand in a show of support.
"We're in this together, Sam. I love you." He whispered just before they dropped hands and entered Hammond's office.
"Love you too." She replied.
General Hammond sat behind his desk talking on his red bat phone, as Jack liked to call it. It was a direct line to the President. He motioned them in and they took their seats.
"Yes Sir. Thank you Sir. I look forward to it too. Good bye, Mr. President."
He turned to his two officers and thought he detected a little bit of anxiety coming from them. But then he had an idea of what was coming. That was why he had made the call to the President.
"Col. O'Neill, Captain Carter. It's good to see you. How are things going, Sam?" He asked.
"I'm fine. Janet is still running tests. She said she let me know as soon as the results were in."
"Good. So what brings you two to my door today?"
They looked at each other and then Jack began.
"Sir, There have been some developments that we wanted to talk to you about. First of all, Captain Carter feels that she can return to full active duty. But the fact is well, Sir we ..."
"We love each other, Sir," Sam said when Jack hesitated.
"I see," the general said carefully not to reveal his feelings, "And what do you intend to do about it?"
"We want to be together Sir." Jack continued, "And we are."
"You are?"
"Sam and I were married yesterday. After all that has happened, we didn't want to waste another minute. We know we've violated regulations and you could court marshal us both."
"Yes I can."
"Are you going to, Sir?" Sam asked.
"That depends on what you intend to do about your duty status."
"We'd both like to continue working at the SGC. Whether it's as teammates on SG-1 or as civilians. We've talked about it and I am prepared to leave the team and work in the labs." Sam said.
"And if that is not possible then I will retire, " Jack put in.
The General was quiet for a moment.
"What does the rest of SG-1 think?" he asked.
"We've informed them of the change between Sam and myself. They were very supportive of what ever we chose to do. Of course we'd like to keep the team together." Jack replied.
"While what you have done is against regulations, it is not wholly unexpected. And in anticipation of this I have called the President. You two are too valuable to the SGC to lose. So, there will be no court marshal. However, there will be some changes. For right now we will keep the team status quo. But should your new relationship interfere in any way with your duty I will be forced to transfer Sam to the labs. That said, let me extend my congratulations and warmest wishes for your life together."
"Thank you sir," Sam and Jack said stunned at the general's reaction to their news.
"I would assume that you didn't have a reception yet?"
"Yes. We thought it best to keep things small and private." Sam said.
"I know for a fact that when your marriage becomes public knowledge there are a lot of people that will be disappointed that they missed the grand event."
At Jack's surprised expression the General continued, "There are people who care about you two and have been looking forward to the day when you finally got together. I'd like to put together a little reception with your permission,"
"Sir that would be wonderful. Thank you." Sam said.
"Great, we'll do it here on base, in non-restricted areas so Sam's father might attend."
"Thank you sir. We appreciate your support." Jack said squeezing Sam's hand.
"When do you think it will be?' Sam asked.
"I'll have Dr. Frasier coordinate the details."
"What details?" Janet said from the doorway. She held a folder in her hands.
"Dr. Frasier, come in."
"Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter were married yesterday and I'd like to have a little reception here for them. Would you coordinate the details?" The General explained.
"Sam, why didn't you tell me?" Janet asked stunned.
"We wanted to keep things secret till we worked things out with the General."
"Oh, well congratulations, Colonel and Captain O'Neill."
Sam liked the sound of her new name. She had never felt so happy. She would get to have her cake and eat it too. Then she saw the folder in Janet's hand.
"Janet, do you have the test results?"
"Yes, I do. That's why I'm here."
"And?" Jack asked.
"Sam is fine. I think the first sample was tainted somehow. But there are no traces of anything out of the ordinary in her blood."
Both Sam and Jack breathed a sigh of relief. Now they felt free to enjoy their newfound happiness.
"Thank you, Janet."
"Glad to be able to give you good news. Ah, Sam when you are finished here, will you report to my office. I have some things I want to discuss with you."
"Of course."
Jack had a sudden flash of inspiration.
"Janet, General, I feel like celebrating. Will you two join us and SG-1 for a celebratory dinner on me at O'Malley's tonight? 7pm?" He said.
"Love to," Janet replied.
"I need to check my schedule, but if I can I will be there." Hammond replied with a Fatherly smile.
Sam sat in Janet's office waiting for the doctor to finish patching up the latest team to fall through the gate. A few minutes later the doctor breezed in and sat down behind her desk.
"How's SG-2?"
"Fine. Just a few cuts and bruises. So, I want details. What happened?"
"There's not much to tell, Janet. After I returned to the cabin we both knew that we needed to have a talk. Once Daniel had left we sat down and admitted our feelings for each other. At one point he knelt in front of me, took my hands in his and proposed. We didn't want to wait too long and wanted it to be secret till things panned out here with work. So we were married yesterday afternoon by a retired Air Force Chaplain that lives near the cabin."
"Oh it sounds so romantic. But what about afterwards?"
"I admit I was a little nervous. But with Jack, I don't know. I love him so much and I am not afraid of him. I've never felt so safe and so loved. It was wonderful."
"I am so happy for you. You deserve some happiness Sam."
"That reminds me. Janet, I need to get a prescription for birth control. General Hammond got permission for us to remain on the team together, so I want to take precautions." Sam said thoughtfully.
"Sure. What about last night? Did you..."
"We were careful."
"Ok, then. I'll have it ready for you when you get back."
"Back?"
"Oh, I guess you don't know yet. The General called down here to make sure I thought you were fit to return to duty. Apparently he has a mission for SG-1. I think it's just a short recon mission."
"Ok."
"Now, about this reception..." Janet said proceeding to plan the celebratory event.
Jack found Sam with the doctor half an hour later. He leaned against the doorframe smiling at his wife. Finally she noticed her husband.
"Jack!" she said smiling at him.
"Are you through with my wife? We have a briefing to go to."
How it thrilled Sam to hear him address her as his wife.
"Sure. Now Sam, no heroics. Take it easy on this mission. That's an order." Janet said.
"I'll see to it she follows that order, Doc." Jack said and them escorted Sam out of the office.
SG-1 stood at the foot of the ramp waiting for the chevrons to lock and the wormhole to open. It felt good to be together and active again. Jack had slipped his ring back on, while Sam opted to keep hers on the chain during missions. Teal'c was first to go, followed closely by Daniel. Sam and Jack exchanged a look and then walked through together. The mission was scheduled to last for about three hours. It was a planet thought uninhabited. They were to collect the usual samples and verify the absence of a population and then return.
Upon exiting the worm hole Jack found Daniel already pouring over some glyphs on some nearby ruins. Teal'c stood guard. Sam walked a little ways away to begin collecting samples. Jack surveyed his team with pride. They were back and better than ever. He glanced Sam's way. She was doing fine.
"What have you got Daniel?" he asked wandering over to where the archeologist stood scribbling in his notebook.
"Just some writings that I'll have to translate later. I don't think its anything of significance. Kind of like one of us writing 'Jack was here' on a wall."
"Teal'c any sign of trouble?"
"No. This planet appears to be truly uninhabited." The jaffa said stoically.
"Good."
Jack walked over to where Sam sat cataloging the samples she had taken.
"What have you got, Carter?" he asked. They had decided she would use her maiden name at work to avoid confusion.
"Nothing exciting, Sir. Just the usual."
"Then we should be ready to leave on schedule."
"Probably way ahead, Sir. There's just not much here."
They returned an hour and half ahead of schedule, reporting an uneventful mission. After debriefing and medicals the gang met in the commissary for a quick bite. The reception was scheduled for two weeks from then to allow Sam and Jack to have a proper honeymoon and to get settled in Jack's home, as well as to accommodate Sam's father's schedule. Sam and Jack decided to drive Jack's jeep back to the cabin and spend a few more days there and then pack up and return to move Sam into Jack's place.
The two weeks passed quickly, but enjoyably for Sam and Jack. The morning they were to return to the SGC they both lay in Jack's bed not wanting to get going. Finally Sam reluctantly rose and went to take a shower. A few minutes later Jack joined her. A little while later Sam sat drinking some orange juice and eating breakfast. Jack hollered from the bedroom.
"What time is the party tonight?"
Sam looked at the calendar, which hung on the fridge.
"7:30."
Then she noticed the date. It had been awhile since she'd had a cycle. Maybe it was a result of the miscarriage. She made a mental note to ask Janet about it when they got on base. They arrived at the base 20 minutes later and after changing into fatigues went to their respective duty stations. Sam had some work to catch up on in the lab and Jack had a monstrous mountain of paperwork to catch up on. They put in a full day of work and Sam never had a chance to talk to Janet. They met up in the locker room that night to change into their wedding clothes. Jack's breath caught as he once again saw his bride in her wedding gown. He fumbled with his tie until Sam laughed and helped him straighten it. They shared a kiss and then, hands intertwined they left for the reception. It was being held on top of the mountain in the spot that everyone went to when they needed a break from the classified military life.
Everyone was there and they all cheered when Jack and Sam made their entrance. Janet went up and hugged Sam.
"You look beautiful, Sam." She said.
"Thank You."
Jacob Carter watched his daughter on the arm of her husband. Never had he seen her so happy. He smiled at her and then approached for a hug and a kiss. He shook Jack's hand.
"Welcome to the family, Jack. You take good care of my little girl."
"Aye, Sir." Jack said saluting.
They talked with more of the guests and nibbled on the food Janet had managed to pull together. Soft music played and some couples were dancing. Daniel surprised them all by asking Janet to dance. Ferretti approached and asked for a dance with the bride. Soon everyone wanted a dance with the bride. Finally Jack stepped in and rescued Sam. They danced to Jim Brickman's "You Are The Love of My Life". After the song ended Sam wanted to sit down. Jack noticed she looked tired and seemed to have a headache.
"You ok?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah. Just exhausted." She said as they made their way to some nearby chairs. Just as they were about to sit Jacob came to request a dance with his daughter. Sam smiled and though Jack protested she went and danced with her father. Thankfully it was a short song. Jacob returned Sam to her husband. He turned to look back at the crowd and looked back at Sam in time to see her collapse. Jack caught her and then yelled for Janet.
"Let's get her to the infirmary," Janet said as Jack scooped her into his arms and carried her down the mountain. The guests parted to give them room and an astonished gasp seemed to pass through the crowd as the groom rushed his bride away from the party. By the time they made it to the infirmary Sam was starting to come around. Jack laid her on the bed anyway.
"Sam, how do you feel?" Janet asked shining her pen light into Sam's eyes.
"What happened?" Sam asked.
"I think you just fainted." Janet said checking Sam's other vitals.
"I'm just tired."
"Well you scared me to death." Jack said holding her hand.
"Sorry," she said and smiled sheepishly.
"It's ok. Just don't do it again." Jack said.
"What's the verdict, Doc?" Jack asked.
"Not sure why it happened but Sam fainted. Have you been eating enough?"
"Yes. And I've tried not to over do it."
"Let me draw some blood, just as a precaution. Then if you feel up to it you can return to the party."
Sam nodded. After the blood was drawn. Sam drank some water and when she felt steady on her feet, walked back to the party on Jack's arm. He stayed close to her the rest of the evening. He kept an eye on her and made sure she didn't do too much. Finally, the festivities wound down and people began to leave. Janet shooed the couple out promising to see to the clean up and to let them know when the test results came back.
They returned home and Sam went immediately to the bedroom to change. Jack followed, loosening his tie as he went.
"That was sure nice of them to throw that reception for us." Sam said as she hung her dress.
"Yeah. Did you see the way Daniel and Janet were getting cozy?" Jack asked.
"Who could miss it? You think we'll have another wedding soon?" Sam said.
"Don't know. Danny boy just lost his wife not too long ago. He may take his time before committing to someone else."
Sam pulled her silk nightgown over her head and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she crawled into bed Jack was brushing his teeth. By the time Jack got into bed Sam was fast asleep. He kissed her and then crawled under the covers.
A couple of days later Sam and Jack were back at the base and everything was as it always had been. The team met with General Hammond to discuss the upcoming missions for the next two weeks. There was a meet and greet and a couple of follow up visits to planets they had signed treaties with. The phone rang before the general could dismiss them. Daniel turned to Sam and began discussing some anthropological discoveries he hoped to make on the new planet they would visit later that week.
"Yes, Doctor. We're just about finished here. I'll send them up." Hammond said.
After hanging up the phone, he turned to his flag team. "Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter, Dr. Frasier would like to see you. And you are all dismissed."
They stood and left. Jack and Sam joined hands as they walked toward the infirmary. They tried to keep the affection to a minimum while on duty, but this was a time they needed support.
"It's going to be ok." Jack reassured his wife.
"Thanks, Jack. But we don't know that."
"We don't know that it will be a bad thing."
They entered the infirmary and found Janet in her office writing in Sam's chart.
"Hi Janet, General said you wanted to see us?" Sam said as they took seats in front of her desk.
"Yes. I have your test results back and we did find a little something."
Jack felt Sam tense beside him and squeezed her hand in a show of support.
"You did?"
"Sam," she said breaking into a huge smile, "You're going to have a baby."
Sam sat there for a minute while the news sank in. Jack was ecstatic.
"Are you sure, Doc?" Jack asked grinning from ear to ear.
" Yes. Positive."
Sam was still quiet.
"Sam, are you ok?" Janet asked concerned at her friend's reaction.
"Yes. Just a little surprised. I thought we were careful."
"Well, nothing is 100% effective."
"Sam-honey, what's wrong? Are you not happy about this?" Jack asked crouching in front of her.
"Oh, it's not that. I just wasn't expecting it. I do want to have children. I just wasn't planning on doing it so soon. I just need a little time to get over the shock." Sam said rising from her chair. "I need to get some air." She mumbled and walked out of the office.
Jack sat there a little unsure of what to do. He was sad that Sam was not more excited about the baby. He was thrilled. For him it was a second chance. This time he was going to be around more. This time he was going to do everything right. But first he wanted to do right by his wife.
"Jack, just give her some time. I think Sam will come around."
"Yeah. Thanks Janet." He said and rose to go find his wife.
It took some searching but Jack finally found Sam on top of the mountain. She sat staring at the horizon, blinking back tears. Jack quietly walked up and sat down next to her. For a while he said nothing. Just sat there lending his silent support. He put his arm around her and after a moment she snuggled in close to him, laying her head on his chest.
"Jack, I'm sorry I ran out like that."
"Hey, its ok. You've been through a lot lately."
"It's not that. I think I was just so overwhelmed with the responsibility this baby will be. But I want you to know I am happy about the baby. I am especially happy that it's your baby. We're going to be a family. I love you Jack."
"I love you Sam. Thank you for giving me another chance to be a dad."
They hugged and shared a kiss.
"I guess we'd better get back inside. We'll need to talk to Hammond and I should discuss whether gate travel is an option in my condition with Janet." Sam said sitting up.
"Sam, I don't think it's a good idea to risk the dangers we tend to run into on other worlds while you're pregnant."
"Good point. Let me talk to Janet and then we can tell Hammond and proceed from there. If we are really that concerned, I'll transfer to the labs till Junior is born."
"Oh man!" Jack said suddenly.
"What?"
"I just realized that means I'll have to break in a new team member."
"I heard Makepeace is available while his team recovers from their injuries," Sam teased.
"Not funny, Samantha O'Neill. Not funny at all."
The End
Will Turghan come back and claim Sam's baby for his own? Want a sequel? Give me feedback.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to eadelon
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