When Tomorrow Comes - Part 2
When Tomorrow Comes
by DustDevil
'Then I wake up in your room
Share one piece of your life
When tomorrow comes
We may not be here at all'
Whispers and Moans - Neil Finn
I can't work this thing out.
I'm usually pretty good with maps and layouts and structure plans. I mean I have to be, I am an archaeologist. But I'm not good with schematics and blueprints, and this is what this map appears to be. I glance furtively over my shoulder and I suddenly realise that I really should stop doing that. I never was much good at sneaking and spying and al that stuff. Jack says I look suspicious at the best of times. Just cause he's had years of training in how not to look conspicuous. Hmm...its not much of a map at all. All the important layout stuff if covered with what looks like layers of other information. I don't know what all the different colours and symbols mean but its probably power lines or something, I mean this place has electric lights so it must be powered somehow. I really need Sam to look at this.
There's blue lines that lead in one direction, and red lines that go in other directions. At some points they meet up and in one room in particular there are lots of coloured lines. I bet that's a room Sam would like to see.
I set down the map with a sigh and reach instead for the book it came from. I ready my stylus warily as earlier on I got a slap for reading and not copying. Okay, time to garner some more knowledge. I flip forward to the part of the book I know and start the next chapter. I wish these records weren't so formal, it's almost as if most of this was written under duress. I flip aimlessly for a while past all the breeding parts, trying not to think what Sam and Jack are up to right now, and as I go I open the next two pages and I find a small yellowed pamphlet. Looks like this book is definitely the one to find, I don't know what I'd of done if this had gone into the furnace. I cradle the large book in my lap and hold the small pamphlet open inside so no-one else can see and start to read.
'This planet was quiet and peaceful until the bastard goa'uld arrived to enslave and kill us. Those who were not subservient enough to be slave and those who weren't brave enough to get themselves killed were given a living hell in their thrall. They became hosts. They were no longer one of us'
The text is written hurriedly with weak ink and a scratchy slanted hand. It looks as though it was comprised from notes that the people must have kept when they were being invaded.
'They came here to use us as a commodity. They used our world and decimated it until there was only one city left, this city of Lahore. We thought there were Gods, we thought they were the Gods who brought us to our world, our beautiful world, and we welcomed them with open arms back into our lives and instead they took our lives and our world away from us as the Gods once gave them. They are not Gods. They are creatures, they are evil, and they will not beat us. We will never give in'
I can't imagine what it must have been like or these people. Well, if Abydos and what Kasuf have told me is true then I have a fair idea, but according to this these people were simple farmers and they would have had no defence against the goa'uld. I wonder if Lahore was the name of their world or their planet?
'And so they used us as was their wont, but we did not sit idly by, we watched, we learned and we planned for many years, until we were ready'
My God, according to this these people over many, many years insinuated themselves into the goa'uld, into every facet of their society and made themselves indispensable. Here it details how their people were into everything, and how over the years they made themselves learn about the goa'uld, the technology, the way of life everything.
'And then we began to destroy them from the inside out'
And they did. And oh God they did.
Over the period of about thirty years in a single minded and systematic fashion these people gave their entire lives, in fact several generations to, as they so eloquently put it, 'ridding themselves of the bastard Goa'uld' And they did it. They succeeded, they won. They drove the Goa'ulds from power and took back their world. And what have they done with it?
What have they done?
The notes from here on in are more sketchy and erratic, and written by many different hands. After they freed themselves they had nothing left. They were left destitute and couldn't survive on their own, they no longer had the resources or the know how to survive by themselves, all farming knowledge gone, a planet scarred and ruined. Their lives had been given in service to freeing their people and I guess they never ever thought beyond that. And when suddenly they found themselves there, in that void, with no idea of how to go back to what they were, I guess they did they only thing left to them, and it looks like there must be some truth in that saying about prisoners sympathising with their captors views.
They filled that void left by the Goa'uld in the only way they knew how.
They became them.
Another awkward start to what's probably going to be another awkward day.
The gate opened a few minutes ago and then breakfast was served. Two steaming hot trays were delivered and I went to see what was on offer. This was sure a welcome break to sitting peeling plaster off the walls. My boots are now covered in little white flecks so it looks like I have dandruff for God's sake. So I took my tray from the guard and sat down scrutinising what was on offer. God...looks like bacon! I take a piece of albeit strangely shaped bacon and dangle one end into my mouth. It is...I'd swear it was bacon. I had turned then to see if Sam was 'awake' and she was crawling through the gate towards me. I took my tray and gave her a sweeping bow to let her pass. She wasn't impressed. Half an hour ago we woke both lying next to the barrier on our respective sides, our fingertips touching where they lay between two heavy rusted metal bars. Our knees touched where they lay drawn up and some of her hair was tickling my nose where it escaped through to my side of the cell, her breath tickling my skin. Both our mattresses lay abandoned behind us and though her jacket lay discarded at her feet mine was clutched in her hands against her chest, one limp sleeve curling over her graceful outstretched neck. I had woken slowly and opened my eyes to find hers looking back at me. Still caught in that fuzzy half-conscious state that follows too long a sleep we just stared for a moment, blue blurring into brown. Needless to say the moment lasted only a brief second before we moved apart and hurried to our feet. Moment? What am I talking about? It wasn't a *moment*, not that kinda moment. I shake my head again like I did when I scrambled to my feet and went to take care of my morning ablutions.
So, again we find ourselves sitting apart eating our food and feeling awkward. And again she's picking at hers. Me? Oh I'm stuffing it into my mouth. Yeah so I can practically see the hormones on this thing but damn it tastes like home.
"Nothing like a fried breakfast huh Carter?" I try the first words of the day.
She grimaces and looks up with a smile
"Not a fried breakfast person I'm afraid sir. Toast and coffee for me"
"Really? No bacon and sausages dripping with fat? No tomatoes and mushrooms burnt on one side? No fried bread? No hash browns?"
She looks up again and drops a piece of 'bacon' back onto her plate, settling instead for what could be this planet's equivalent of toast.
"Definitely not."
"Damn Carter" I say thumping my hand on the plate in feigned anger "I try and maintain my girlish figure, I really do...but all that fried food...and burgers...and pizza...I'm weak!"
I let the last word trail off in a squeak and she smiles. Okay, awkwardness over. She wipes her mouth on her sleeve and brings her plate over. I move to stop her but she tips her remains onto my plate and sits down beside me. I'm annoyed that she isn't eating right but glad she thinks I'm safe enough to sit next to. I am...I just have to stay in control. Thankfully that's a lot easier to manage when I've just woken up. Night time, now that's another matter, and it's another matter that we thankfully won't have to deal with for a while.
"Do you think we'll have to stay here all the time sir?"
I try and talk around my mouthful of her bacon.
"I dunno...I mean...will they check that you're...uh...you know"
"They use some sort of scanner thing...and some other things"
I drop the food halfway to my mouth and turn to face her.
"They've examined you already? Why didn't you tell me? What did they do?"
She grimaces as my voice rises and too late I realise that it's probably not the best subject to shout at her over.
"Nothing I can't handle sir"
"Yeah well you shouldn't have to damn well handle it! Carter, if they so much as touch you I'll..."
"It's okay sir, I can handle it"
She looks at me firmly with her jaw set and her eyes bright, and I can only nod and turn back to eating. Yeah I guess she can. I mean, I know she can handle whatever is flung at her, but this, this kinda thing is different. I've known strong women in the past have to deal with this kind of...sexual assault I guess, and it's nothing you can prepare for, nothing at all. Sometimes I thank the powers above that I'm a man, there are certain womanly things that I'm real glad I don't have to put up with. Speaking of which, I know all the female SGC personnel are on the pill, so although her periods should be lighter she'll still be getting them, and we have been here for over a month. I should ask how she is.
Sometimes I hate working with women.
I drink some of the surprisingly pleasant water they have here and try and work out where these cells are in relation to the rest of this place. We must be near the cold storage rooms or somewhere close as we can hear them, and if I remember rightly our old cells and the halls are about a fifteen minute walk from there. If only we could find some sort of external wall and get outside from there. I've never seen any windows of any kind, does that mean we could be on a ship? No, we can't be, we'd have heard the engines or something, and the atmosphere in here doesn't appear to be pumped in, there are no air conditioning systems as such, merely small tunnels that allow air to pass through. Plus most of the structures here appear made of stone, and that's not the best material for building ships. These cell areas are different though, they are a completely different style to anything else I've seen here so far. Okay, so first we need to locate Daniel and locate the gate, then we need to escape ourselves and Daniel and get there are gate out. Huh, just a few things we have to do.
"Uh Carter...since we're kinda on the subject...uh...how are you doing generally?"
I turn and face him and he's abandoned his breakfast and is regarding me warily. What does he mean how am I doing? On the subject? What subject?
"Fine sir, why?"
"Well, it's just that, we've been here over a month now, and I guess I just wanted to know if you were, okay...and stuff"
"Sir?"
What on earth is he going on about? This man is confusing at the best of times, but when he's trying to be nice and concerned I feel like my brain hurts trying to work out what he means from what he says. It's like everything he says to me is encrypted, and I have no idea if I'm using the right cyphers or not. Even worse, there may be no encryption, and maybe he really doesn't care at all, maybe he does take me for granted and believe that he has no need to thank me for the miracles I have to perform almost every week at the drop of a hat. But he can't, can he?
"Uh...I mean...uh...you know..." He waggles a hand in my direction and his eyes flick down my body then back to my eyes. Not so much down to my body, but to my stomach. Oh...the subject was talking about being pregnant, and he said more than a month...oh I get it. He's scrubbing at his tousled hair with one hand, and his jaw works silently as he tries to work out what to say next. He must be so embarrassed asking me this, but it's so sweet he did. Typical man, getting all embarrassed when talking about 'woman's things'.
"Uh...it's okay sir, they gave us...uh...stuff"
"Ah" He says in his usual fashion, nodding, as if one of the secrets of the universe had just been revealed to him. He smiles briefly and turns away again. I smile and look down, but he obviously feels that there is more to say on the subject.
"It's just sometimes...sometimes I forget about that kinda thing...uh...y'know...sometimes I forget that you're...well...y'know..."
A woman?
He forgets I'm a woman? Well thanks. Thanks for making me feel just like another dumb unknown soldier sir. I can't believe he said that, I can't believe he thinks it! I mean, yes I've spent many years trying to prove I'm every bit as good as any man, but I'd still like to think that he knows I'm a woman!
"I....ah hell...as long as everything is okay huh?"
"Yes sir"
He goes back to his breakfast and I slump in my seat. So he can't see me as a woman but he sees Hayes as one does he? Fine. I mean I know I'm not a dark haired beauty like she is but I'm pretty sure I look like a women even when I'm all trussed up in my fatigues. Men on other planets have no trouble seeing I'm a woman, so how come Earth men are so stupid! Martouf knows I'm a woman, Nareem knows I'm a woman, and even the Shavadi knew I was a woman! Okay so that didn't turn out so good but it's not the point.
The Colonel doesn't know I'm a woman. Oh he knows but he just doesn't *know*. Not that I care, I don't, I just thought that...I mean...I don't know it's just that a few times, for a second or two, that...
Forget it, let's just get out of here. Face facts Sam, he's not attracted to me, which is all well and good because I don't want him to be.
He's not attracted to me.
Oh God I'm attracted to her.
I mean...what I mean is, the hormones are really starting to get on my nerves. If I was in this cell with Reebo I would have torn his head of by now, as it is I'm having enough trouble controlling myself. I keep reminding myself that I'm a Colonel in the United States Air Force, and that my cell mate is Major Samantha Carter, my second in command and my friend. And I am not going to jump her. Huh...that's ironic or something. While we were kept separately I spent a good deal of my time working out what I was gonna do if any of the guards tried to rape or so much as touch Carter, and now the biggest threat of that is from me. I can't help the way I feel, I'm so drugged up to the eyeballs I think I'm pissing pure damn testosterone now. I risk a glance at Sam but she's ignoring me for the moment. God I can't believe the things I just said to her, I'm such an idiot when talking to her sometimes.
*It's just sometimes...sometimes I forget about that kinda thing...uh...y'know...sometimes I forget that you're...well...y'know...*
Yeah, real suave Jack, real good. I couldn't even finish that sentence because it was such a damn blatant lie my mouth refused to say the words. I have never not been aware that she's a woman, and I have never forgotten it. Not that I think about it all the time or anything just that, I mean I don't stand side by side wish her facing Apophis and think....'damn she's a woman' of course I don't. It's funny though, you'd think that all the military gear and the lumpy unflattering fatigues would affect the way she looks, but it doesn't. In fact, I think her fatigues make her look more like a woman, because all the little feminine things she does, the way she stands, the way she runs her fingers through her hair, the way her hands move, all those little things are flung into sharp relief against the dull macho background of military trappings. So oh yes Carter, I'm very well aware that you're a woman, but I'll sure as hell never tell you that. I mean, I know it's just the hormones.
Just the hormones eh? Funny how you've noticed these things months ago huh Jack? Shut up. Just shut up. It's the hormones, and nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that she took my breath away that first day she walked into the briefing room, and she's been doing it on a regular basis ever since. No...no she hasn't. And even if she had it doesn't matter. She's my friend and I love her. As a friend of course, just a friend.
I do not have any inappropriate feelings about her...and I will not act on them.
'It's easy when you don't try
Going on first impressions
Man in a cage has made his confession
You've seen me at my worst
And it won't be the last time I'm down there'
It's Only Natural - Neil Finn
"Okay, so how the hell do we find Daniel?"
"Well, we know he's at the library, did he tell you where it was when he used to work there before we got split up?"
"Uh...he gave me some directions but you know Danny, he got lost when he fell asleep in that lab that time"
"Well, he had never been in that lab before, and a lot of the corridors do look alike sir"
"Carter, there are directional stripes on the floor for crying out loud, hey, do you think we should paint some just for Danny? Ones for his lab, his quarters, the toilet, stuff like that?"
I smile. I feel though I have to. Usually I want to, and can't help it, but let's just say I'm not quite feeling myself. Ever since he told me he didn't see me as a woman I've just lost my enthusiasm. This isn't fair, how come he can ruin my day with a word? I shouldn't be feeling like this, I feel like I'm in high school or something.
"Okay, so we get out of here, find Daniel, find the gate, and get home. Simple huh?"
I look up at him and he's doing his twisted smile thing.
"No problem sir"
He thinks for a second them moves to sit next to me, and as he sits down his arm comes around my shoulders. He pulls me against his side and I feel my eyebrows leap up as I look at him. He opens his mouth no doubt to reassure me that we're gonna get out of here when the door opens and a guard strides in. We both stand but stay close and the guard looks from me to the Colonel, then indicates we should leave. What's this? It can't be over already can it? We follow his lead and he leads us down one of the corridors we've never seen before, and the Colonel clutches at my hand, squeezing my fingers tightly. What now? We walk meekly in front of the guard and then we meet up with four more guards outside a large double door. We stand there for a moment as the guards chat off to one side, and I gulp down a little fear as the first points to us and laughs. The Colonel yanks me closer and glares up at the guards. I squeeze his hand a little and his other hand comes around my shoulders. The guards finish their little chat and push open the heavy wooden doors and gestures for us to go inside. We step forward and I can feel the tension in the Colonel's arms as we cross the threshold.
"Sam!"
I drop the Colonel's hand and rush forward.
"Alith! Rosay! Reebin!"
I run into the room to greet my friends and the Colonel follows close behind. It's a smaller hall than before and a low wooden bench runs around the pale sink-like walls, and there are about five other couples in here, and most of them sit huddled in separate corners, hanging onto each other for dear life. Or at least one of each couple is holding on. There are a few whimpers but no terror for the most part. Rosay and the others rise from their corner and come to meet us smiling. Rosay looks fine and her 'mate' cringes by her side and watches her with wary eyes. It looks as though she wears the pants in that relationship. Alith comes up followed closely by Reebin and the pair of them are smiling and seem fairly relaxed.
"Why have they let us out? It can't be over can it?"
Reebin shakes his head and comes to my side with a mere glance for the Colonel. Alith follows him closely, shadowing his side.
"I don't believe so. I think they just wanted to let us out for some exercise in small groups, perhaps they let us be together as they knew there would be no trouble."
It's so good to see everyone again, and Reebin comes close and squeezes my hand while the Colonel greets the others and asks if I'm okay.
"I'm fine Reebin, have you been looking after Alith?"
"Yes, we have been fine...has Jack been looking after you?" He asks softly, his dark green eyes staring right into mine as he holds my hand firmly. His meaning is very clear. I'm flattered that he cares but I was never really worried that the Colonel would try anything. Yes so his eyes have strayed a lot lately, but never his hands, he really has been very good. Well, he's very good during the day, but at night he gets ever so restless. Even while we were still in the hall sometimes I would wake to find him with his knees drawn up to his chin and his dark eyes glittering at me from under lowered brows. Reebin takes a half step closer and I open my mouth to speak when I feel an arm come around my back and a warm firm chest pressed lightly against my back.
"I'm looking after her just fine Reebo...how you doing?"
He smiles pleasantly at Reebin but the 'threat' for lack of a better word is there. Reebin stares at the Colonel for a moment, and then drops my hand and moves back. Good, we don't need a repeat of what happened before. I don't like this jealousy between the two of them, but I'll put up with the Colonel's sudden protectiveness if it keeps things civil. Greetings over we all move to sit in the corner and the Colonel steers me over there with his warm hand still on my shoulder. Oh he's not attracted to me but his extra hormones obviously demand that he keep his 'mate' under control.
We sit and chat for a while about how things have been going. Rosay is fine and regales us with stories about her 'mate' Dalkin who sits meekly by her side, and Alith and Reebin announce that they have been telling each other stories from their worlds and talking about their families. Our turn comes and the Colonel presses closer where he sits to my left, leaning slightly against me. We look at each other for a brief second, searching each others faces and willing the other to speak, and finally he spins some tale that we've been spending all our time planning a way out of here. Well we have been, but most of the time we've spent stalking the cage avoiding each other or getting ourselves into uh...situations, and we've only been in that cell for a few days! They look and nod at our explanations but I notice Reebin watching me, yeah he doesn't believe a word of it. How come they all seem so calm and I flinch every time I feel the Colonel's warm skin against mine? They've been chatting and we've been going through hell! The moment passes then, and the Colonel takes charge of the sudden silence.
"Okay people, well I for one sure as hell don't like this situation so how about we make a plan to get out hmm?"
Rosay nods and leans forward eagerly, and Reebin just settles against the wall and watches me. I smile at him pleasantly and he smiles back warmly before glaring at the Colonel. I thought we had got past all this. It's not going to start again is it? What is it about the Colonel and every man I meet? The Colonel turns to look at me and I give him a reassuring smile, and seemingly in reply he leans against me, and his fingers brush my thigh, and settle there, giving me a constant reminder of his presence. Does he think I'm going to run off with Reebin? Is that it?
"And go where?" Says Reebin, and I feel the Colonel stiffen suddenly beside me, and the toe of one of his boots tucks behind the heel of one of mine, and applies a gentle pressure. I turn to face him but he's glaring at Reebin, and hasn't even noticed my movements. Much though I'm enjoying the sudden increase in physical contact, I'm not sure I like the reasons. He leans forward then, and grits his teeth.
"If you'd rather stay here Reebo, I'm sure we can arrange that"
It's going to be a long day.
I really want to take my boots off. Okay, so doing so would probably gas us both to death, but they itch like mad. I've pretty much managed to clean the rest of me in my little bathroom thingy, and I even washed out my T-shirt but I'm almost afraid to see my socks. I fear they may have become part of my feet. From this day onwards I may have to go to bed with my boots on. Maybe when we get back they can burn them off. Whatever. Maybe first I should figure out a way for us to get out of here. I scratch at my itchy jaw and sink down onto the floor. I could use another shave too. Luckily they actually used to let us shave when us guys lived together, albeit with a strange blunt sorta stone thing. It's been a couple of days and my grey stubble is starting to come through. C'mon Carter, how long does it take? Yeah right, she's a woman remember? Oh yeah Jack, my drug addled brain forgot that one piece of information huh? No chance. The sound of running water comes from the other part of the cell as Carter tries her best to freshen up. Better keep my eyes on the wall, her bathroom ain't so much a room as an alcove, and it's better to play safe here, I don't look at my best with drool running down my chin. And neither does Reebo.
That guy really bugs me. His eyes were practically eating Carter all up when we walked into that hall today. And she dropped my hand and was after him like a shot. We spent almost four hours in there today and his eyes never left her for more than five seconds at a time, and only then to glare at me. I tell you I'm gonna...Ah hell, let the little shrimp think he's gonna get lucky, cause as long as she's with me there's not a chance in hell. Of course, according to him the whole being with me thing could be threatened. The guy sure knows a lot about we're to expect as 'breeding stock' and I can't help but be suspicious as to where he got it. We spent most of the time walking around the hall for our 'exercise' and the inevitable subject of 'what happens if we don't get pregnant?' was brought up by Alith. She spent the whole day hanging onto Reebin's arm. It makes a change from hanging onto Sam but though they both said they spent all that time together 'chatting', for all we know he's been raping her constantly. Yeah so he really doesn't seem the type and he's never been anything but pleasant to everyone but me, but with all those hormones in his body, and hell he could easily get Alith not to talk.
"If you do not, the choosing will happen again" Said Reebin, his eyes straying to Sam.
That sure as hell stopped us all in our tracks. Sam turned to face him and her face paled. I hauled my hands through my hair and sighed.
"You mean we have to go through all that again? Carter, much though I enjoyed fighting for you, I could do without ten huge guys jumping on me again" Reebin's expression had changed at that, and his eyes flicked to Carter as she screwed up her face in confusion. He was holding out on something, I could tell. And I could also tell I wasn't gonna like it. Not one little bit.
"If a couple do not produce a child, or do not mate, they will not be permitted to pick each other again" He said all of this without even looking in my direction.
I look at Sam and her open-mouthed expression matches mine. Not good. Not good at all. Needless to say that put a little bit of a damper on things, and the rest of 'exercise' time went quietly. I spent most of it sulking in a corner while Sam chatted with Alith and Rosay. At least I *thought* she was speaking to them, but when I looked up next they were talking to each other and she was locked in a whispered discussion with Reebo the wonder boy. Great. We get split up again and they will pick each other. And something tells me that 'mating' would probably be on the agenda for those two. No way. I will not have my second in command forced into that kind of situation with anyone, and especially not laughing boy here. A little voice in my head whispers that 'forced' would probably not come into it, and I choose to ignore it. It's not going to happen. Okay then, so I have two choices. 1. We somehow get the hell out of here, or 2. Carter and I...well...'mate' And I can guess how she'd feel about that. I look back over at her and she's shaking her head urgently at Reebin, who looks darkly at me. He thinks I've been trying it on doesn't he? I get to my feet to go put the guy right and with perfect timing the guards take us back to our cells. Apparently we'll get more exercise in a day or two. Oh I can't wait.
I sigh and lean my head against the wall as I start to pick again at the plaster. It's addictive, and so satisfying to watch it peel away. Funny this bit seems thicker, and it's damn stubborn. I apply myself to my task and really get my fingernail under a white chunky edge. I pull one leg under me for leverage as I actually get the pad of one pinky under the lip and with a grating click it flies off the wall. No...no it didn't. It opened. That lip was the edge of a panel of some kind, obviously long plastered and painted over, until now. The small foot square door swings lazily on its hinges and I peer at what is revealed. A tangle of wires and strange transparent strips full of stuff trail down one side, and the other is filled with some sort of circuit board thingy with little blinking lights and what look like tiny sockets or something. I dunno, I'm no good with this stuff, but it just so happens I'm bunking with an expert.
"Carter!"
"I'll just be a minute sir!"
"Uh...I really think you ought to see this Carter"
The water stops and I stretch my neck over my shoulder to see her as she steps out from her alcove towelling her damp hair. Woah. She steps up to the bars and observes me curiously, and the curiosity quickly turns to annoyance as all I do is stare.
She's wearing the skirt.
Her hands go to her hips and her posture becomes defensive as she watches my eyes trail over her body. Her fatigue pants and her socks are clutched in one hand and she's wearing the long pale skirt of before. It falls loosely from her slim waist and highlights some of the firm sweeping curves of her thighs and calves. Y'know, I could count the times on one hand that I've seen her in a skirt, and this one beats 'em all. She's wearing the matching tanktop but she's got her jacket on top and is still carrying the cardigan thing.
"Sir?"
"Uh..."
I try and form the words, try and tell her about the thing I've found, but the one thought in my mind, the only thing I can think about is...is she wearing those little cotton panties?
She isn't carrying whatever underwear she normally favours with her but something tells me she wouldn't exactly flaunt them. Knowing women they're probably tucked in the folds of her fatigue pants. I drag my eyes back to her face and she looks so not impressed.
"I uh...I found something Carter"
"So you said sir, what is it?"
I scramble to my feet and point with both hands to my discovery while I deliver her a wicked grin.
"Carter, I found you a doohickie"
Teal'c in the briefing room.
The gateroom is quiet and the lights are dim.
Siler is dozing at his seat and he doesn't even notice me. I have stood here for the past six hours and he's finally begun to accept that I'm not going to leave. Even the General has given up on that. He threatened to get MP's to move me, but I just stood silently observing the gate, and finally after Doctor Frasier had finally given me the all clear he let me be.
He has officially called off the search.
SG1 are now officially MIA.
Things have started to move on.
General Hammond asked if I wished to be reassigned to another SG team and I asked for some time to think about it. I do not know if I wish to go on fighting without my friends. I know that I fight for a greater cause, that I fight to free the tau'ri and my own people from the threat and slavery of the goa'uld, but I never imagined doing it without them, with out O'Neill, Daniel Jackson and Major Carter. I never imagined being the one left on my own.
I am on my own.
The door opens suddenly and the General comes in again. He doesn't look at me but merely takes up a place on the other side of Siler and watches the gate as I do. No I am not alone, not alone in waiting and hoping and not alone in the fight. Never alone. I look at the General and his face is set, though his eyes show the faintest glimmer of hope that I myself will never allow to fade. I know they are out there. I know they are. He sighs once then walks back out again and up the stairs to his office. General Hammond must feel this way all the time. Every day he watches team, men and women under his command walk out of here and not all of them come back. And he wishes they would.
I turn then and the movement catches Siler's eye and he smiles at me.
"I'll keep watch, don't you worry Teal'c"
I nod at him and leave. I have need of Kel'no'reem.
I have need of solace.
We should never have come to this damn planet.
There I've said it, I admit it, are you happy now? It was a mistake, fuelled by greed pure and simple, and the lust for power. Greed...greed is our one driving force and it is also usually our downfall. We're never satisfied you see, never, and once we get what we want we just find something else to crave, to covet and to take. To make it ours. And if we can't get it we make sure no-one else can either. I don't want to be one of us anymore, I never asked to be. I wish creation could take me back and make me something, someone else, or failing that just unmake me.
Oh you should be proud my fathers, you should be proud. Even though we failed to rule here and make this planet ours, even in failure we have remade them in our image. Look at them, look at them as they crawl all over this wasted planet, clinging to this God forsaken world and trying to pretend they got what they wanted. Oh they got rid of their captors, they did that alright, but they were left with nothing, nothing at all. I hate them. I hate them just as much as they surely hate me. Well don't worry, if by some strange miracle I ever get out of here I'll be gone before you can open your mouth to call me a bastard.
I don't need this and I don't need you or your insignificant planet.
All I need is me, and I have that already.
Oh okay so I could do with a fresh replacement for my buddy here.
Nighttime again. I settle on my mattress and yawn, pulling my jacket under my head for a pillow. Carter thrashes on the other side and I smile to myself. The sight of that panel was enough to dispel any horror at my behaviour, and she was pressed up against the bars in a shot. The gate was down as it was evening and within a minute I was down on the ground with my head in the panel trying to explain what I saw.
"So there's some sort of control panel?"
"Uh...I guess so. It has little sockety things...holes to put stuff I guess...and wires and things"
"Where do the wires go? Are they connected to the panel?"
"Uh...some of them are, some of them go up and out of sight, and then there's these strip thingies"
"Strips? What do they look like?"
"Uh...kinda see through, with liquid kinda stuff in them, it's sort of moving...all different colours"
I'd only been looking at it for a couple of minutes and my brain hurt like hell already. Then the lights dimmed and I was even more useless trynna describe this stuff in the dark. But still she asked and I did my best to answer her. The conversation went that way for a little while until I got sick of it and she got exasperated with me. And I thought that her explaining things to me were hard, well the other way around is nigh impossible. Eventually I slammed the little door shut and pulled my aching body into a more natural position. She protested for a while but eventually I ordered her to go to bed and only that and a promise that tomorrow she could look at it for as long as she liked were enough to peel her away from the bars.
So finally she's settled down for the night and I manage to force myself to face away from her as she thrashes some more in her nice new clothes. Typical. All this time she's probably been pumped with as much hormones as me and the only thing that bothers her sleep at night is the thought of a new doohickie awaiting her attentions in the morning. Are they giving her the right things? I mean she's got a gorgeous guy right here, and me sleeping next to her every night doesn't do a thing for her? I guess that any thoughts of her fancying me are now well and truly out of the window. I mean, I never believed it personally, but people have hinted things to me, and a couple of times she's looked at me...well...funny, and then there were all the other Carter's and...ah hell...face it Jack, you don't stand a chance. Not that I want to mind, just that every guy would like to think he could get every woman. Well, I'm afraid Carter prefers her machines to me.
The gate slides open and she's over here like a shot, practically elbowing me out of the way to get to the panel in the wall. There's my Carter, all bright eyes and wide smiles. There's the tech mad scientist I've come to know....Well anyway, she hauls her jacket off and gets down on the floor and carefully prises the panel open with her fingernails. I just stand and watch her for a few moments, then not wanting to be completely overshadowed by some hunks of metal and little blinking lights I get down there beside her and push her over a little so I can at least watch. Something tells me she's gonna be down here all day so I might as well make my presence known.
Carter turns onto one side and fishes into her jacket until she finds whatever it is she's looking for. She pulls out a tiny black box and removes the cover to reveal a tiny meter of some kind. I have no idea how she snuck that one past the guards, and I sure ain't gonna ask. She spends the next few minutes getting some readings and I push up closer to try and see what she's finding out.
"Anything?"
"Umm...yessir...this seems to be a power line of sorts. It's probably what powers the door and the gate sir. It seems to be linked into a parallel network that probably covers this whole area of cells"
"Think you can figure out how to work it?"
"Probably sir"
"Good...then we have our way out of here"
"A way out's not much good without somewhere to go sir, and if we can't find Daniel..."
"I know I know. But the others said that Daniel wasn't staying in the old cells because they would have seen him at some point yes? So where is he staying?"
"He could be staying in this area sir, is that what you're getting at?"
"Yeah"
"But even so there are dozens of cells here and we can't just open them all as we go looking for him, we'll get caught"
"Right. Any way at all we could get in contact with him?"
I sit and think for a moment, and his brown eyes are searching my face waiting for me to pull some kind of miracle answer out of the hat. It's amazing how quickly the soldier and scientist routine kick in and how quickly the adrenaline starts to stream. We have hope now, and all we need is a little luck. I stare at the panel in the wall for a few moments, biting my lip, then look down at my meter. The Colonel is waiting and when I look up at him and smile he simply raises one eyebrow.
"I have an idea sir"
"So we're doing what again?" I ask as I lie flat on my back on the floor by her side, my arms folded and my hands tucked under my head. Oh and a piece of wire in my mouth. Well there wasn't any grass available. Oh and 'we' I say. Well that particular 'we' really means she's been working for the last hour, and I've been giving her moral support.
She looks up from her meter and smiles one of her delightful animated smiles. I know that smile very well. That smile means she's about to indulge her dumb commanding officer with as much of a basic explanation as she can manage about her latest genius discovery or invention. I love that expression. That expression normally means that we're gonna be okay. That we're gonna get out or get home or save the base or save the world. That expression is my second most favourite expression in the world.
"Look up into that corner sir" she says, indicating the opposite corner of the roof with her probe and then sticking her head and both hands back into that hole in the wall. I shift slightly on the mattress and lean back again, letting my eyes glaze over as I stare at the bright roof. It's a flat square of a roof, and seems to be lit from behind some sort of transparent material. As I watch the patch of light in the very corner starts to flicker a bit, then it blinks on and off in a strange pattern.
"Well, that's great if we want to give everyone epileptic fits Carter"
She snorts a little but stays where she is, and I continue to watch as the pattern of blinking changes. Oh...oh wait a minute. I concentrate on the patterns, and as I watch the pattern slowly repeats itself, and once I've seen it a few times I sound out the code in my head.
H...E...L...L...O......C...O...L...O...N...E...L......
Damn! It's Morse code! I sit upright abruptly and when I turn to face her she's smiling softly, her eyebrows raised, waiting on my opinion. I look from the light to her again, then smile.
"Is this so you can send me subliminal messages to me Major? 'You will give all your breakfast to meeeeee'" I waggle my fingers at her as I talk and her face breaks into the most beautific smile, and she tucks her head into her shoulder then glances back up at me, eyes bright and full of life, still beaming. A special Grade A Carter smile just for me. And *that* is my very favourite expression in the whole wide world. I get these smiles from time to time, that clear, candid gaze just for me. No-one else gets 'em, I've checked. They're all for me. I sit up and move over beside her, and pressing my hip up against her I peer at her handywork. No fancy setups, in fact nothing has changed as far as I can tell.
"Okay, so tell me how this is gonna help us again?"
She sighs and shakes her head, and gives me a mini Grade A Carter special. Hey so there's a few versions okay? And yeah I keep tabs. I know I've upset Carter a lot over the last few months, and I didn't get one of these smiles for a whole thirty five days when I got back from Adorra. And the least said about that the better I think. So I drag my attention back to her and she inserts the now detached metal meter probe and taps it against one of the partially dissected sockety things. I glance up at the light and it flickers in tandem with her movements.
"This board here is some sort of control panel and step-up transformer for the lights, and I was able to isolate one light in particular. I can make it flash just by interrupting the current with something metal, and then communicate via Morse code"
"I presume you won't be spelling everything out like that, not very efficient Carter"
"Well normally Sir yes I'd use military abbreviations and some Phillips code and Z-signals, but considering the receiver I think I'll keep it basic, don't you?"
"Ah...Daniel..."
"You did teach him Morse code didn't you Sir?" She asks a little worriedly.
"Oh yeah" I reply, nodding my head vigorously.
Oh hell yeah. It's one of those military things that never really comes up until you need it, and then and only then do you realise that the average civilian does not know these potentially very, very important skills. Picture this. SG1 stuck on a hostile industrial planet and having been split up, Carter, Teal'c and I find ourselves on the top of a large building, with Daniel on the top of the next one, with a whole bunch of guards below really looking forward to beating seven shades of crap out of us. We spotted each other and I proceeded to tap out some Morse code instructions to Daniel with some makeshift material that would go largely unnoticed to the hostiles over the clanking machinery surrounding us, to which he stood up on the edge of the building and yelled at me to speak up. Imagine a dozen angry guards suddenly looking right at you. From that very second onward I swore to teach him Morse code, and that I did. Only the basics mind you, but enough.
"Okay, now I'm afraid the rest of it depends on a hell of a lot of luck, and on Daniel working out what we're trying to do"
She bites on her probe thingy again, and I reach out and swipe it from her mouth, and her teeth snap shut in its wake. She looks at me in surprise and I lean forward and tap her on the nose with my stolen item.
"Okay. I see the light, and I understand the Morse code thing. But how the hell is Daniel gonna see it?"
She takes the meter back and leans into the panel pointing at a large wired up boxy thing that the light panel thingy she showed me earlier is attached to.
"It just so happens that this is a control box for this entire area Sir. This seems to control all the lights in this corridor at least, and judging by the number of circuits here, probably this whole cell block. At a quick count I'd say about fifty or sixty cells"
I take the meter back from her lean back against the wall, letting my head flop back as I feel my brain begin to hurt ever so slightly. She takes in my position and expression with a glance and leans forward. I may be thick when it comes to all this kind of thing, but is she seriously suggesting what I think she's suggesting?
"Okay, so you're suggesting that we what, try and send a Morse code message to every single one of those cells? In turn?"
She shrugs her shoulders and slumps from her kneeling position to sit against the wall.
"Sir, we really don't have any other choice"
I pull away and scramble to my feet, and Carter relaxes against the wall, her wrists balanced on her knees as she watches me start to pace.
"Okay...okay. So, assuming Daniel is in this block, and assuming he's in his cell when we're trynna signal him, and assuming he sees the signal, and assuming he understands, how the hell is he gonna signal back?" I spin to face her and she looks up at me, her hands coming out in front of her to sketch and help her explain. Oh It'll take more than that Major.
"Like I said Sir, these lights are connected in parallel, now whoever built this place was paranoid about a small power failure affecting the rest of the block, so Daniel should have exactly the same panel here in his room, and if it's laid out the same, he should simply be able to signal us back by interrupting the current with some metal"
God she makes all this sound so simple, and judging by the way she's looking at me it probably is. I get back down on the floor beside her and cradle her meter in my lap. I hold out my hand to her for the probe and sigh.
"Okay, show me what to do"
Dinner over I place my tray back on the food shelf and settle in a corner with a musty old blanket. It's cold tonight and so I shiver and huddle my fatigue jacket closer while trying not to crease the paper inside. I was so sure I was going to be caught tonight, but for some reason Jarnas is not in a bad mood for once. I'm so glad I wasn't searched because if I had been I would have had a hell of a lot of explaining to do. Today I stole the pamphlet. I don't know why I did it and I don't know what good it's going to do, but if we're ever going to get out of here it will be rather useful if I have some information on this place. Let's just say my eyes have been opened somewhat. Okay, potted history. The Goa'uld invade and take over, the people here, I don't know what they called themselves, they rather wisely decided that this would be a bad thing and wanted them out. After a period of well, I'm not entirely sure but it was certainly more than a couple of generations, they achieved this, and retook their world. As far as I can make out they drove away a few Goa'uld, and killed or 'dealt with' the rest of them. And then they probably had a big party. And then the next day they got up and looked around, and saw their own world. Their own world that they had systematically destroyed. They had wanted rid of anything and everything that had been touched by the Goa'uld, and in doing so rid themselves of everything that had sustained them. Okay so they lacked foresight but they were determined and passionate, and brave. And now?
It's almost funny in a tragic sort of way. Even long after the Goa'uld left their legacy lives on. These people had no identity, so means of survival, and all they knew was the way of life they hated. I imagine they resisted for a while, tried to scrape out some kind of meagre living from the soil, but then people started dying, becoming sick, and they were desperate. They still had the 'master plan' of the Goa'uld that had lived on their planet, and included in it was a list of nearby planets that were 'ripe for the picking'. This area of the galaxy is very far from the centre of Goa'uld territory, so I can only assume that an offshoot of Goa'uld moved here or escaped to here, and set about starting to build an army, and a new power base. So our emancipated survivors saw this plan, and saw the list of addresses of primitive defenceless worlds for the taking, and eventually their wills weakened. Oh I imagine people rebelled at first, and I imagine when the new 'Jaffa' first set foot on a new world and met the friendly curious natives that they had doubts, but one look at the weatherbeaten, hopeless, weary and hungry faces of their own people was enough to make them do what they thought they had to.
They thought they had no choice.
I don't know, maybe they are right, maybe in the same position we would do the same. It's easy to say you wouldn't when you live in a relatively safe country and come home each day to a warm safe house and a fridge full of food. Oh we'd never do it would we? We'd never lower ourselves to the domination of others. Well I'm sorry, but Earth's history is full of that sort of thing. And when left with the choice of die or kill, take or be taken, which of us can truly say that we'd lie down and die so others wouldn't have to? As an individual yes, but could you watch your families, your husbands and wives and brothers and sisters and children do the same? Could you ask them to? So no, it's not straight forward, it never is. But they could have tried, surely they could have tried. They could have visited these planets in peace and asked for help, or moved to a new world, but when you fight for so long to get your own world back, then it's not so easy to let go. When you've spent all that time fighting for something, striving for it, only to find it's not there, or its taken from you, it's a hard thing to face. I should know. When Share' died I felt empty. I'd spent the last few years of my life trying to get her back, only to be thwarted in the end. I felt lost, I felt adrift, but with the help of my friends I got myself back on track, because I know that there is more at stake here than my personal happiness. But these people never had 'friends' did they? They were all in the same boat, there was no external point of view, no advice, no-one to tell them it'd all be okay, that tomorrow was a new day. Huh, they didn't have a Jack a Sam and a Teal'c to rely on. I miss them.
I hope Teal'c is safe. I can only hope the people here didn't kill him, but I get the impression that they would probably just leave him, and for some reason I'm sure he's safe. If only I could remember how we got here. All I remember is walking about on that planet, and then we met someone, and then I fell. And then I woke up here, with Jack slapping me in the face. Considering I was having a dream about Share' it wasn't the most pleasant way to be woken up, and he was not the happiest Colonel I've ever seen. Let's just hope he's a little happier now. Considering knowing him he's probably in a small cell with Sam, then happy is probably not the right word. I only hope the two of them are working on getting us out of here. I know you can do it guys, when those two work together they can accomplish anything. Ah well, I better get some sleep. Sam and Jack will be working on a plan right now, I just know it.
God, and I wish that light in the corner would stop flashing, it's beginning to bug me.
"This is gonna work you know"
I glance over at him and he grins as he lies on his back again on the mattress. Oh so now he's assuring me it's going to work? I settle my shoulders into a more comfortable position and move to the next socket along and start to tap out the phrases we decided on. I feel a poking sensation in my leg and once I've finished the last word I turn to find him jabbing his finger systematically into my calf muscle, watching the repeated movements of his hand with avid attention.
"Sir?"
"Just bored Carter, you don't mind do you?"
I hope it's not the drugs. Mind you if this is his idea of foreplay I don't think I want to go any further. Ever since just before we met up with the others he's been touching me a lot. Nothing overt, just hands on my shoulder, around my shoulder, holding my hand, little things like that. I take it to mean that he's comforting me, just letting me know he's there. I do appreciate it, it's just, not really him. Silence follows for a while and then his hand stops, and settles instead on my shoulder as he moves alongside me.
"Carter...this is gonna work, but if it doesn't..."
"It'll work sir, it has to..." I answer swiftly, not even wanting to go there.
"Yeah well if it doesn't, I don't want us to be split up"
I pause mid letter, and quickly restart, keeping my attention focused on my job. His hand tightens on my shoulder and he gently but firmly turns me to face him. His face is deadpan and his jaw set.
"I don't want us to be split up"
I just stare at him. What exactly is he suggesting? He surely can't be suggesting that we 'mate'? Either that or maybe he wants me to let us out of the door and just make a run for it, take our chances so to speak. I stop what I'm doing and turn to face him. He sits against the wall and puts his hand on my knee, patting it softly before letting his long fingers curl around my kneecap.
"Now I know we could let ourselves out of here and make a run for it, but even if by some miracle we didn't get caught we'd never get out. We have no plan, and we don't know where the gate is, and without Daniel we wouldn't be able to find Reebo and get him to lead us to the gate"
His hand tightens reflexively on my knee when he mentions Reebin and then relaxes. He looks deep into my eyes as I nod in agreement, then he takes his hand away and folds them in his lap.
"And that leaves us only one alternative Major" His eyes stay on mine and he raises his chin as he calls me by my formal rank. I do a double take and drop the probe. He wants us to...? He can't be suggesting we...? I mean I know that maybe he thinks he wants to, but he wouldn't try and make me would he? I...I just...
"Uh sir...I...the alternative...uh...are you suggesting we..."
He lays his hands on both of my shoulders and leaning forward he shakes his head vigorously.
"No Sam, I'm not suggesting that we actually *do* what they want us to, but we may have to ah...do a little play acting if you know what I mean"
"You mean pretend that we're ah..."
"Exactly. Now to your knowledge do you think there are any cameras or microphones or anything in here? Anyway they're keeping tabs on us and what we're doing? I mean, they don't seem to have bothered about us taking off the panel here, but surely if they're satisfied that we're uh...together...then they'd give you a little leeway to get pregnant huh? I mean it *can* take a while"
I'd already thought of that before. I had a good look around this cell when we were brought here, and there is nothing I've seen that would represent a camera, especially not with this mismatch of Goa'uld and almost steam age technology. Then how do they?...Oh...I think I know.
"I haven't seen any kind of monitoring devices sir, but I think I know how they're keeping tabs on us"
"How?"
"Well a guard comes in several times a day sir. They come in to open the gate in the morning, then they come in at every meal to make sure we take our own trays. They come back to take our trays away and then they come to close the gate at night. We've also heard the guards walking past on regular patrols, and when they do they stop outside the door and I'm sure they're listening. And when they come in they always spend a few minutes observing us. In their own way they're according us some sort of privacy and respect, but still observing our behaviour"
He thinks on that for a moment, then nods, his fingers scraping at his stubbled chin.
"Yeah I guess that make sense, I did wonder why they were staring at us like that. And then yesterday the guards were talking about us. They must be watching us. Okay then, so we only need to pretend when the guards come in? We can do that"
Yeah the guard did stare at us when he came in yesterday, probably because we were sitting on the floor and the Colonel had his arm around me. Well if that's all we need to do then I can put up with it. A little hug with the Colonel? I can cope with that. I can cope with being enfolded in those strong arms, I can cope with being held close to him, smelling him, wrapping my own arms around him, feeling his warmth and his heart beating against mine. Just a little hug, for appearances sake. No need to get all hot and bothered about it Sam, it's no big deal. Not that hugging him would make me all hot and bothered of course...I feel a nudge and I turn to find the Colonel watching me curiously, oh God I hope I didn't go red or have a big goofy expression on my face or anything.
"You okay with this? There's no way they're splitting us up Sam, I won't have you put with anyone else"
His voice lowers to a growl, and I can't help but think he's talking about Reebin. Jealous are you sir? Good...now you know how it feels.
"Fine sir. We just have to fool the guards"
He nods, and then draws himself up and puffing out his chest he jabs at it with his index finger.
"Of course, you're missing out on the real thing here. I'll have you know I've got 'Lovemaking Level 3 Advanced' Carter"
He waggles his eyebrows at 'advanced', and I can't help but laugh. Yeah I bet he does, oh I just bet he does. He grins widely then winks conspiratorially at me, and I actually blush. This only serves to amuse him further.
"Aw hey, sorry if I'm offending your gentle and delicate sensibilities here *Samantha*, but where I come from I'm known as quite a catch" He lies back and stretches out his firm, lean body, and raises both eyebrows, clearly inviting comment. What the hell can I say to that? Yes you are? Yes I'd very much like to catch you? Well much though I would, I certainly don't want him to know that, and he looks so smug right now that he could do with being taken down a peg or two.
"Must be a small town sir" I say, biting my lip and turning my face away. I caught the start of a look from shock from him and I wonder if I made a mistake in trying to share a joke with him.
"Why you little..." Hands grab my shoulders and spin me around, and suddenly I'm pinned to the ground by 200 pounds of male ferocity. My whole body goes tense and when I open my eyes he's grinning down at me with laughter in his eyes and waggling his fingers over me in a threatening manner. Uh oh...I remember him telling me once about the tickling fights he used to have with Charlie, and I guess for now I'm being Charlie's replacement. I am glad it's laughter I see in his eyes, and no I'm not disappointed in the slightest...I'm glad okay? His eyes find mine and then his hands descend to my ribs and start to tickle.
"Colonel!" I squeal, and this just makes him laugh even more. God he looks so good when he laughs, so happy. He pins my legs down to stop me thrashing and leans closer to tickle me more. I squirm ferociously in his grip and try and pry his hands away from my sides, but debilitated with laughter that I am my strength has simply sapped away.
"Sir...please...stop..."
"Oh no...for a comment like that you must pay Carter!"
He leans over me and holds me down while his other arm gets me right under my arms. Oh God I'm very, very ticklish there. Tears stream down my face and I wriggle so furiously that I almost throw him off and any complaints I was trying to make come out as a wheezing squeak and he starts to laugh.
"Well, well Major, I think I'll remember that particular spot for future reference"
He eases down on the tickling and I push myself upright, unfortunately he chooses that same moment to lean forward and we bump noses, then quickly draw back.
"Ow" We both say in tandem, and then laugh. I slip back down and he leans forward to help me up and we bang noses again. This time we stay where we are, and I find his dark brown eyes very, very close. As I watch them they change colour subtly, darkening, and within a few seconds the irises match his widening black pupils. His smile fades away to be left with a strange almost confused expression as he looks at me. I'm suddenly very aware of the heat of his body as he's sitting on me, and then I become rather aware of something else, a subtle pressure that wasn't there before. Embarrassing though this situation undoubtedly is for him, I'm still somewhat pleased that I can turn him on. Okay so he's probably a hundred times more likely to get like this in these particular circumstances, but that's not really the point. We hang there a few inches apart and then he shakes his head and attempts to untangle himself from me. Poor man looks rather ashamed. He places his hands on the floor and tries to lift himself when the door swings open and we look up into the faceplate of a guard. We both freeze as the guard watches us, then automatically smile. The guard observes us for a few seconds then backs out of the room leaving the door open, obviously giving us some time to finish uh...whatever he thinks we were doing. The Colonel jerks to his feet and extends his hand to me and pulls me upright. He pulls his jacket shut over his front and zips it up and when he turns to face me his eyes are brown once more and he tries a shaky smile.
"Ahem...well...our 'play-acting' plan seems to be working huh? Let's uh...keep it up"
He winces a little at his own comment, then takes my hand and pulls me out of the room and along the corridor to the hall in front of an undoubtedly amused guard. Play acting...sure...whatever you say Colonel. But he's right, it does seem to be working. Let's just hope that the guard reports our...behaviour...to his superiors and that that lets me and the Colonel stay together. But I definitely think that tickling is unsafe territory, unless we want to move beyond make believe. Which we don't, which I don't. Nope...the memory of the Colonel's firm chest pressed against me is having no effect on me whatsoever. Yeah Sam...just like that kiss we shared after the choosing had no effect. And somehow I don't think we're going to have a problem 'keeping it up' are we Colonel?
Oh God Sam, mind out of the gutter. I am not attracted to my CO, I am not attracted to my CO, I am not attracted to my CO...
Umm...
I'm a big fat liar, I'm a big fat liar, I'm a big fat liar...
"So how do we know he's heard us? Will our light start flashing?"
"No sir, this LED here should flash"
I peer into the panel and sure enough there's a row of little LED's next to the sockets, and her finger points to one halfway up.
"Yeah but we won't see that when the panel is closed Carter, and we'll have to keep looking at it all the time"
"Well sir, I've also managed to engage what seems to be some sort of warning system that was probably installed before these rooms became cells, so hopefully we should hear beeping. As long as we remember to unhook the little speaker when there are guards near"
"Oh...okay. Good job Carter"
She looks at me for a second as if I've just grown another head, then she nods, smiles and looks away. Just a little praise Carter, just the first step on my little ladder to get closer to her, to be a better friend. And to show her that I care for her as a person, and that I'm not spending my every waking moment drooling over her. Not that I am, just that I want to make sure she understands that. God and I doubt she believes me after that little incident the other day with that whole tickling business. I mean, what the hell was I thinking about in the first place? Have I gone completely nuts? I guess it is possible, but since then I've been the perfect CO, all calm and collected and business like. Well, today I have been, but yesterday in the hall I wasn't the nicest guy I could have been. Well what the hell do you expect? Carter and I have a situation like that and I'm all riled up and turned on and my brain is swimming in hormones and she practically rushed into Reebo's arms?
I hate him.
As soon as we got into that hall she pulled her hand free from mine and shot over there. Oh she pretended she was happy to see Rosay and Alith again but her smile was all for Reebo. And the look he gave me. It was as if he could tell that something had been going on. Well, he obviously suspected there had been. Anyway, Carter and Rosay went for a jog and I found myself next to Reebo. We'd been discussing our plans and got a less than enthusiastic welcome from our buddies here. I sat and watched Carter jog around the hall while Reebo whined next to me.
"And if your friend does manage to contact you, what then? What is your plan?"
I turned to look at him and I felt my teeth clench as I saw his eyes also following Carter.
"Well that's where you come in Reebo, then you get us to the gate, and we all go home. Simple huh?"
"And all this depends on your friend understanding what's going on and leading you to the old cells?"
He'd never met Daniel but I could tell by his voice that he didn't have a particularly high opinion of him. Well I don't have a particularly high opinion of you either buddy. Carter and Rosay finish jogging then and head for our corner. I shift sideways to create a space and she sits by my left side, away from Reebo as I planned. She rests her head on the wall and smiles at me and I smile in return and pat her knee.
I pat her knee???
Where the hell did that come from? Come to think of it I've been doing a lot of that lately haven't I? Patting her knee, putting my arm around her, holding her hand, tickling her for crying out loud! Oh...I remember an old buddy of mine telling me once that this was what I did when I started seeing a woman. Apparently I'd be like this for weeks when we first started going out, and he said I obviously did it unconsciously to let everyone around know that we were seeing each other and she was mine. Well Carter's not mine and she never will be. Uh...and I don't want her to be either...yeah...that's right...
I have to stop touching her. I think would be a very, very good idea.
I drag my attention back to Sam and she's still talking and pointing at various technological points of interest with the point of her probe and I move and rest my folded arm across her back for support as I lean closer to see what she's talking about. I sit this way nodding and 'umming' and 'ahhing' for at least two minutes before I realise that my arm has uncurled and is now draped casually across her shoulders. I sigh and roll my eyes. Not a great start on the old 'no touching' rule, but I really can't take my arm away or I'll fall. Oh well. Carter seems not to notice and I force my eyes away from the soft sweep of her hair and onto the meter, however as soon as she sees what I'm looking at she pulls it over in front of her and points out something else. I can't do anything right can I? I got in trouble last night when she woke to beeping and saw me sitting up playing with the meter. Well it does things...if you put the probe in your mouth it gives you readings and little numbers and lights and beeps and things. Needless to say she wasn't impressed and I think I'm banned. Banned from touching it, well the only thing I should be banned from touching around here is her.
I know it always bugs her when I play with all her fascinating little toys but I could really do with the distraction, anything, just anything to keep my eyes from slowly trailing down her body, especially when she wears that damn skirt like she is now. Not to mention the fact that she's only in her tank top because it's hot, but let's not dwell of that right now...please...At least so far I've always managed to persuade her to change into her fatigues before exercise time, just in case we get the chance to run. Of course, what I really mean is I sure don't want Reebo seeing her like that, but I think she believes my excuse. I think. Well it's getting late now, so thankfully soon the guard will come in and chase her into her side of the cell and I can maybe relax. I'm just having this thought when there is a loud 'clang' and we both turn to look behind us.
The gate is closed.
Why is the gate closed?
Carter slams the panel shut and I get to my feet and then the food hatch on the side wall opens and a guard looks through at the two of us staring back at him. He looks from one of us to the other, then leaves. If he weren't wearing that helmet I'd swear he was grinning from ear to ear. Well...looks like they've just upped the pressure. The lights dim suddenly and Sam is by my side, and she looks worriedly up at me with her arms wrapped around herself for warmth. I knew things were too good to be true.
I look down at my mattress that's just barely big enough for two people lying shoulder to shoulder and gulp. This isn't fair...
I was gonna be good!
Three months.
It's been three months.
Three months and I finally gave the order to have all of their codes locked out of the computer. I think it's been a reasonable amount of time. I think if they were going to escape and make it back then they would have done so by now. They know the procedure, they knew the risks and the consequences. And they also know me. If they are still out there, if they're still alive and still struggling to get home, then there is one last code they could try. If my superiors knew I'd done this they would be less than happy, but I know they'd understand. This is my command and they are my people, and I will give them every chance that I think they deserve, and they deserve more.
It would be easier if I was convinced that they were dead, but I'm not. If they had been captured by the Goa'uld or another one of our enemies then I'd of expected something to happen by now. If they were being used, if they were to be a pawn in some sort of blackmail, but no. Nothing. We have heard nothing of them. We have contacted all of our friends and none of them have heard, not the Tok'ra, the Tollans or the Asgard. Not a sign, not a peep.
And yet...
I stand from my desk and look out of the window to see Teal'c staring at the stargate. He believes they are still alive. I would put it down to his determination not to give up on his friends, but after this much I would have thought that even he would have moved on, let them go. But he refuses. He still believes, and some of that belief sparks a little hope that I would not otherwise feel. Perhaps I shouldn't feel it at all. I stand silently and watch as Doctor Frasier and Captain Hayes enter the briefing room and take their place by Teal'c's side. It appears his belief really is catching.
Finally I drag my gaze away from them and sit at my desk and shuffle the many papers and reports awaiting my perusal and signature. For now I'll let it go. How can I forbid their hope if I feel it too?
But there will come a point when we have to let go.
We just haven't quite reached it...yet
But I fear we will.
This is fun.
This is a lot of fun.
Not.
I shift on the lumpy mattress and I receive a grunt from my bunkmate as I accidentally elbow him in the ribs. Oops. I freeze and hold my breath but he doesn't wake. Not that I'm actually convinced he's asleep but that just doesn't bear thinking about. Oh come on Sam if you can't sleep do you think he can? Probably not.
I can't believe they did this to us.
Well I guess it could have been worse. They could have flung us into a tiny room naked and refused to feed us until we 'mated' Uh...okay Sam, let's not even go there, as far as I know that could be the next stage. When the gate went down I just got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that we were not going to have the easiest of lives from now on, and I was right. I just looked at the Colonel and he looked back. And then we leaped into action. I set up the panel to beep in case Daniel ever got through to us, and the Colonel tried to grab a hold of my stuff from through the bars. After I was sure it was ready and I closed the panel and smoothed the edges of broken plaster over it and turned to find the Colonel stood facing me clutching the little cardigan. He held it firmly in one fist and was gazing steadily at it until I walked up to him. His head jerked up when he caught me in his peripheral vision and he stiffly thrust his hand out with the garment swinging in his grasp.
"Uh...it's all I could reach...sorry"
I thanked him and took the cardigan, which I'm now wearing and shivering in. I move again in a desperate attempt to warm myself and the Colonel sighs. I knew he wasn't asleep, but I can't help it, I'm cold. When we finally had to 'go to bed' we steadfastly ignored each other and settled down on our sides facing away. Well that was two hours ago and I haven't had a wink, and I doubt he has either. I shift again and he sighs and I feel the muscles in his back work against mine as he lifts a hand to scrub at his face.
"You cold?" He asks, sounding tired and like he'd rather not ask me at all.
"Freezing"
I guess I know now why they keep swinging the temperature from extreme to extreme here. Sometimes hot enough to make you strip down and at other times too cold for one person if you know what I mean. The Colonel sighs again and turns over. He moves against me and I close my eyes waiting for an arm to come around me and pull me close, only for them to snap open when something flaps down onto my chest. I open my eyes and he's facing away again now clad only in his T-shirt and his jacket now lies haphazardly across me. I just lie there, mouth open. I thought he'd...I mean...wouldn't it be better if...I...I can't believe he...he can't give me his jacket he'll be cold! Yeah that's it, he can't do that!
"Sir, you'll be cold if you give me your jacket"
Nothing, no answer. I wait patiently for a few minutes but still he says nothing, only tries desperately to snuggle down into the practically useless mattress. I can't take his jacket. Nice though the gesture is I didn't tell him I was cold so he'd take pity on me! I mean he asked, so I told him, nothing wrong with that is there? What's wrong with him, why is he being so stubborn? I'm sorry we have to sleep in the same room Colonel, are you annoyed that I'm stealing half of your mattress? Not that you use it much, you're always awake when I wake in the night.
"Sir?"
Nothing. I wait a few minutes and then ask again. I shift slightly and I'm just about to turn and shake him when a strangled annoyed voice finally answers me.
"What?"
"Sir, you'll be cold..." I trail off not knowing what to say and he snaps at me again, and I sense a growing anger in his voice.
"Can't you just go to sleep Carter?"
"I don't want you to be cold sir I..."
He jerks upright and peers at me over his shoulder, his dark eyes smouldering.
"Please!...Please...can you just be quiet and go to sleep...I'll be fine" His voice was so pleading, and he's breathing so harshly and I just don't understand what's wrong with him. Why is he so angry?
"Sir?"
He curls into a ball and wraps his arms around his head and I can feel my own anger start to rise. What the hell is the matter with him? I fling his jacket to the ground and he flinches. Sitting up and suddenly feeling that I must be answered I take a hold of one of his wrists and pull on it. He jerks it from my grip and rolls away. That's it...I've had enough. He doesn't let me act like this so why should I let him? I reach over again and haul him to face me, and I can't explain the sudden anger and roil of emotions that course through me, that demand his attention! Pay attention to me dammit! He struggles to get away and I reach out with my other arm.
"Carter...Carter! stop it"
He fends my hands off and tries to get away, his voice becoming more faint and I lunge for his collar. I'm getting panicky and I can tell by the way he's thrashing that he is too. Suddenly he spins around and grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me.
"Stop it! Please...you don't know what you're doing!"
I stop and look into his eyes, and in there I see desire and want and need such as I have never seen. He gasps as he looks at me and suddenly I realise that what I was feeling wasn't anger at all, I was seeking his attention yes, but a particular kind. Oh God how can I have let myself forget the...uh...unbalanced state of our body chemicals? We sit there panting, his hands on my shoulders and mine on his elbows as the moment is fraught between us. How do we get out of this? We can't...I won't...I don't want...but...I...What? The Colonel's eyes slide away from mine and he cocks his head and looks confused, almost as if something is drawing him away.
"Listen!" He says, whispering.
"What?" I ask, following his gaze to the far corner.
Beeping...it's beeping. We both hear it then and our eyes meet for a long drawn out moment before we scramble to our feet and rush for the panel. We collide as we get there but the Colonel shifts across and opens the panel for me as I gather my meter, turn off the beeping so no guard will hear and lean close to watch the LED.
"Is it him?" The Colonel asks with a hushed breath and I shush him and pay attention. A minute passes as I watch and the only sounds are own gradually slowly breathing. A wave of calmness descends upon me as my military training comes to the fore. Thank God. I've caught the message mid-phrase but soon a few words jump out at me and I dictate for the Colonel.
"...so long...didn't realise...Daniel"
The Colonel leans forward grinning and grips me by the shoulders and shakes me before pulling me into a rough hug. He pins me against his chest for a moment then holds me at arms length and grins as the flashing resumes. All shouting and arguing and awkwardness suddenly dismissed. I panicked for a second when he grabbed me but with his eyes brown and smiling he couldn't look further from the man of one minute ago.
"You did it Sam!" He grins and I blush and look away. Actually it all depended on Daniel figuring this out, I did the easy part, but the Colonel seems determined to praise me. I'm not accustomed to open praise from him, and I can't meet his eyes. Strong fingers lift my chin and I find myself staring up into the breathless face and deep, dark eyes of the Colonel. He smiles gently then slowly pulls his fingers away leaving trails of warmth on my skin. He looks about to say something when more flashing catches my eye and I lean in to the panel again.
"You there Jack Sam?"
"Tell him we're here!" The Colonel orders, that military efficiency fluidly entering his voice as he hovers nervously by my side, his fingers tugging at my sleeve like a restless excitable child. Which he is. I apply the probe and tap out an affirmative and Daniel quickly replies. The letters come quicker and quicker as he gains confidence, and it looks like he's been practising. Thank God.
"Sorry late. Got message yesterday, had to wait. Both okay?"
I see Jack nodding vigorously out of the corner of my eye and I reply and tell him we're fine, and ask him how he is.
"Fine. Sure both okay?"
I meet Jack's eyes and he looks confused, then the brown orbs dart away. Maybe Daniel knows something, knowing him he's probably learned the entire history of this place by now. Oh well, we are okay...mostly, apart from the fact that we were just almost at each others throats...or...well.... I assure Daniel of this and am amazed at how he can seem chirpy and full of enthusiasm through Morse code.
"Good. Me learned things. You have plan?"
I turn to Jack with my eyebrows raised and he rubs his hands together and I find his spreading grin infectious despite myself as he speaks.
"Oh yes" He says in that way that only he can, and I hand him the probe.
If we are meant to be Gods, then who made us?
I mean, I know we are not Gods, but to finally admit that actually causes me some actual physical pain. The memories of my many ancestors swim and twist in my mind, and I would almost swear I could taste their displeasure. I imagine they would be turning in their graves at the thought of my...my...change of heart. Well...wriggle in their graves then. Notice how I swiftly diverted the attention away from the change of heart thing. I can admit it to myself but I really don't like to dwell on it, or even think about it. Okay so I'm not one hundred percent on admitting it either, but I'm getting there aren't I?
Anyway, things are happening.
Don't ask me how I know but I just know. I can sense a subtle shift in things, and I know something, something is going to happen. The chemicals that wash daily over my body have not changed in a while, and that means they are too busy doing something else to bother experimenting with me. In a way that upsets me, I mean I hate the fact that the only reason they keep me alive is because they want to find out how to control me as a parasite, but being ignored like this affects my pride. Not that I have much being a powerless God in a brain dead host.
Well, if there's something going down, if there's the slightest, slimmest chance that I can take some sort of advantage out of this, then I'm going to take it. It's time I readied myself for the possibility of taking a new host.
Well you never know do you?
I wind the tiny screw back into my glasses and make for the door when the guard gestures at me. I push the glasses up on my nose and for once I feel thankful my eyesight requires them. Thank God I couldn't sleep that other night or I would still have been none the wiser. I was lying on my back thinking about being back home, well all of a sudden my attention was drawn to that annoying flickering light. I actually half drifted off to sleep as I watched it, and a sleepy part of my brain suddenly pulled a few letters out of nowhere. I took mild interest at the fact that some of the flashes corresponded to Morse code letters that I'd just been learning, then as a word formed I suddenly snapped into full consciousness and sat up.
"Jack"...I'm sure that just spelled Jack. I watch again and the light stops flickering. I remember waiting and hoping and staring and then within a few seconds it started up again and I managed to piece it together.
It said 'Daniel it's Jack Sam. Open panel east wall tap 3 left socket with metal'
And that's what I did. I managed to find the panel fairly easily as it'd been picked at, obviously by someone bored, but I did have to push a sleeping man out of the way first. When I opened it I panicked for a moment at all the lights and sockets and everything, and then I had to smile imagining Jack's face when he first looked in here. I eventually found the one that Sam was meaning, huh, notice how I just talk about Sam in relation to this, and then I suddenly realised I had no metal. I had nothing in my pockets and they took my belt. My watch was gone as well and after a futile few minutes trying to prise an eyelet from my boot I gave up. Well judging by how long the flashing has been going on they must have been trying for about a week, so I figured I had a little leeway. Of course I was at work the next day when I realised that the little screws in my glasses were metal. So I waited until we were herded back to our cells and then I spent a clumsy twenty minutes in the dark unscrewing the leg of my glasses, dropping the screw twice, and almost losing it completely. But eventually I had it, and I waited a few hours until the lights were out and I knew the guards were gone, then I creaked open the little panel and hesitantly typed out my message. And lo and behold within a few minutes they answered me! I have never felt so relieved. Whoever was signalling me told me they were both okay, and then Jack outlined his plan to escape. Quite simple when described, but when after half an hour of crouching by the wall I had all the details I sat back and blew out a long breath and thought there was no way we were ever gonna pull this off. No way.
We have the means yes, and certainly the will and the determination, but we're also going to need a healthy dose of luck. They then asked me where I was and after another half an hour and a lot of frustration on both our sides, we realised that we must both be in the same general area. Sam took over then, and I was a little relieved to be spared Jack's questioning for a few minutes. Eventually we managed to work out that we were probably at opposite ends of the main corridor and around the corner from each other.
So, they wait till the guards pass them, then me, as it seems they move in circular patrols around the cells (so Jack says anyway) then they let themselves out, come let me out, I take them to the old cells, we find their other friends and they lead us to the gate and home. Simple huh? Yeah...no problem. Don't get me wrong, I have complete faith in Jack's plan, it's just....ah hell...
Don't wait up Teal'c...
Mind you, al least Sam and Jack will get out of there. They assured me that they were okay but I'll believe that when I see them. God knows how those two have managed to survive been stuck together all day in a small cell for breeding. I mean I know Sam, and I know Jack, and if a little extra hormone load rushing around their bodies hasn't finally pushed them over the edge and made them leap on each other then I don't know what will! Excuse my crudeness but you really would have to be blind not to see that sparks flow between those two. It's not all the time and I know it's not allowed and I know there have been other people for both of them but there is an undeniable chemistry there. I was never fully aware of it until I saw my first alternate reality. Then somehow I was seeing it every where, and all the time. I saw the jealousy over Martouf, Sam's pain when Jack was missing, Jack's protectiveness, the way everything that came out of his mouth elicited a laugh from Sam. And I wondered how I'd never noticed before.
I've never said anything to either of them, because it's against regulations so I understand from the hundred times Jack's cited that as his only excuse, and besides, people can have chemistry and not fall in love.
Yeah people can, but not these two people.
I really better keep my pet theories to myself or Jack will hit me. Okay, tonight we're 'busting out of here'.
Oh I've always wanted to say that...
Today I went out with SG5.
They had a lot of ground to cover and a lot of equipment to carry and so they required an extra member. General Hammond came and asked me if I wanted to accompany them, and I think he was surprised when I readily agreed. Many people have been recommending to me that I go out with a team, try and get on with my quest to help the tau'ri defeat the Goau'd, and I must admit that it was good to further my goal even in this small way. When I came back the General and Doctor Frasier smiled warmly at me and I nodded at them. Yes I will resume my duties here in the SGC, but I will never give up the quest for my friends. They are not dead, they are out there somewhere...they are...captured.
Every night in Kel'no'reem I feel that I am getting slowly closer to some answer that may help me, help us, help them, but I know it will take time.
Please fight on my friends. I will come find you.
"Look, do you understand or don't you, it's not that hard Reebin..."
Oh they can argue all they won't, I don't care. I'm sick of the Colonel's pathetic posturing and I'm sick of Reebin's 'Holier than thou' act. They can kill each other if they want and I just don't care. Maybe that would be altogether easier. Maybe Daniel and I would stand a better chance if it was just the two of us. I mean, it's getting ridiculous! After last night, the Colonel spent the night sleeping in the far corner, and I huddled on the mattress by the bars. And neither of us slept. We were able to forget about our little uh...argument while we conversed with Daniel, but when we finally pulled our aching bodies away from the panel to get some sleep the awkwardness came down like a wall. We talked a little about our plans for escape, but then I made the mistake of bringing up the fact that we'd get to discuss it with Reebin and the others the next day, and he just snapped and yelled at me. And I yelled back. After a few minutes of this we stomped apart and pretended to sleep. I just screwed my eyes tightly shut and pulled myself into a foetal position while he sat upright and muttered to himself in the corner. At one point I'm pretty sure he said 'Damn...damndamndamndamn...' and then he finally fell silent. Today we got a long exercise period and as soon as we were fed and the guards arrived, the Colonel was all over me like a rash again. His hand grabbing mine and an arm around my shoulder, constantly touching and looking at me. He's so confusing. I know it's probably all for show, just to let the others know that I'm all his. The annoying thing is I would love to be.
Oh Sam, the moment for a sudden emotional revelation is not in the middle of an argument of two aggressive men, but I just can't help myself. I look at the Colonel as he jabs a finger at Reebin, and my eyes trail to his other hand which is clamped on my thigh, out of sight from everyone else. The fingers tighten and release as his voice rises, and you know, I don't think he's even aware he's touching me right now, it seems to be a subconscious thing, the actions of a caring Colonel who's just trying to make sure I'm alright. I wish it was more, and hell I even wish it was simply that, but it's not is it? It's something much more base than that. Every time he reaches for me or takes my hand or steers me with an arm over my shoulders I get a little shiver. A tiny thrill shoots up my spine at his closeness, the tingle of his skin on mine, but he doesn't even notice. Give it up Sam, he's not interested. Not that I am, no no no it's just...ah forget it. I am interested. Very interested. Fingertips relax on my thigh and as the argument is over for the moment as Rosay starts to argue with Reebin about which way we should go once we get out.
The Colonel sighs dramatically and leans back into his seat and his hand slides further up my leg away from my knee and I can't help but shudder. The hand stops and I look up to see the Colonel looking at me quizzically. He must have felt my reaction, and now he looks down to see his hand. He quickly lifts the hand from my leg and it hovers there, close enough so that I can still feel the warmth and the ghost of his touch. I look up at him and he's watching me steadily, and a worried expression crosses his face. He must be wondering what I think of him for touching me in this way, and also why I didn't remove his hand. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I liked your hand there Colonel, that's why I didn't move it? Oh yeah that will sound good. His eyes hold mine and I refuse to let my gaze drop away. Slowly, almost fearfully, he lowers his hand by painfully slow degrees over my knee, watching my face all the while for any change in my reaction. I force a timid but true smile, and in response to whatever signal he was waiting for he drapes those long, sensual fingers over my knee, curling those digits to fit the curves of the joint. His mouth lifts in a gentle, private smile, but the shouting drags our attention from each other.
"One of the other prisoners told me about that corridor" Reebin says in a very petulant voice that doesn't suit him at all.
"Which prisoner? And how did they hear about it?" Counters Rosay, suspiciously.
The Colonel and I sigh in tandem and he gently squeezes my leg. I smile as I lean against the wall and resist the urge to lean against his shoulder. Instead I place my hand on his for a brief moment, but as I go to draw it away he pulls his hand out from underneath, then clutches mine and moves it onto his own knee, where he places it, pats it twice, then covers it with his hand, his fingers lying in between mine. He flashes me a quick smile then Reebin draws him into the argument once more.
"And when we find this stargate Jack, where will we go?"
"Earth, our planet. From there we can send you back to your own planet, or to wherever in the galaxy you want to go Reebin"
Rosay snorts and sits back, and for once Reebin treats Jack's caustic comments with good grace, and relaxes. The plans are made, we know what we're going to do, but we feel like we have to go over each and every little detail again and again. If even one little thing goes wrong, that's it, it's over, but what choice do we have? We have a plan, a good plan, and we will get home. Home...back to the way things were. I squeeze the Colonel's leg and as he talks his fingers entwine further with mine. I better savour this sensation all I can, because when we get back his hand will be in someone else's.
So tonight we go back to our cells, and we wait for the all clear signal from Daniel. And then we make our move. I can only hope that when tomorrow comes I'll get what I want...and what I wish for.
And what I want is...to go home.
But what I wish for is him. And he doesn't wish for me.
"As I turn to go
You looked at me for half a second
With an open invitation
For me to go...
Into temptation, knowing full well the earth will rebel
Into temptation, safe in the wide open arms of hell..."
(Into Temptation - Neil Finn & Crowded House)
I hate waiting.
I mean, it's one of the worst things that we ever have to go through. Waiting to find out if you got the job, if you didn't, if you did right, if you did wrong, if you passed the test, if that train is coming...If they managed to save your sons life...like I say, it's not something I'm very good at and I don't think I ever will be. People say it's because I've got no patience but that's just not true. As a matter of fact I consider myself to have tons of patience. Like how I've waited for the last year for one little sign from...Anyway, it's not patience, it's that horrible feeling of being in limbo, I've just never liked it. I like to know what's going on at all times, who's where, what's what...everything. Okay so maybe I'm a bit of a control freak but that's what the military makes you into. So we sit and wait patiently for Daniel to call, so we can go home. It could be anything from a minute to several hours, but we have no choice. We wait, then we move, then we get home.
Simple. I wish all things were as simple as that.
When we get outta here I'm gonna make an effort with Sam. I know that recently I've not been the best CO much less the best friend to her, and I owe her one hell of a lot for what she's done for me over the years. I've never really said thank you for being there, and I wish I could because she deserves it so much. I just can't say the words most of the time, even when the others thank her right in front of me all I can do is waggle my eyebrows at her. She gets it though doesn't she? Doesn't she? Even when I've thanked her over the last few weeks she seems surprised, even a little embarrassed. Just cause I don't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it Sam, and lately I've been maybe beginning to realise that just because I don't admit things to myself it doesn't necessarily mean they're not true. So when we get back I'm gonna spend more time with her. I'm gonna make a point to take her out, go places with her, visit her in the lab and spend hours trynna understand that damn naquada reactor. Not because I feel obligated, but because I want to, I'm been meaning to spend more time with her a while now, I enjoy her company tremendously, and in many ways we're very alike. And then she'll laugh at all my jokes and use big words deliberately just so she can make me get what Danny calls my 'confused face' She just deserves so much more from me, so much more of my time and attention. We'll be back to normal, none of this hormone stuff, no more awkward situations where I want her so bad it's a very physical pain. We'll be back to normal and I'll try and regain the closeness we used to have.
Nothing wrong with that is there? It doesn't mean anything, I just want to spend more time with her and make her laugh and make her happy, that's all. Huh...shit. You remember what happened to that other blonde woman you wanted to spend more time with and make laugh and make happy? Do ya Jack? Do ya remember what happened to her? Yeah...yeah that's right Jack, that's right...you married her.
You married her.
I turn and face Carter and she's lying staring intently at the panel so I slide over and lie by her side, watching her out of the corner of my eye. Her chin sits in her hand and her other hand twists and turns the little probe from the meter as we wait. For all we know it could take ages for the guards to complete their rounds, it could be hours. She places the shaft of the probe into her mouth and holds it between her teeth as she turns it in place with her fingers. I watch mesmerised as her soft lips move over the hard black plastic, and suddenly the lights dim for bed time and we turn naturally to look at each other. She smiles a little nervously and I smile back and shift on the floor, suddenly aware of being rather uncomfortable at lying on my front. At least it means she won't notice. Please Daniel get in touch soon as I don't want a replay of that other night. Well, I don't want the awkwardness anyway...
"Something wrong sir?" She asks, obviously seeing my face screw up as I move.
"Well, apart from being stuck on a prison planet light years from home with as yet no sure-fire way back, no...not really" She smiles and shakes her head and twirls the probe in her hand once more.
"Anything right sir?" She asks in a cheeky voice and turns to face me as I answer.
"Only one thing. I may be stuck on a prison planet light years from home with as yet no way back, but I am here with you" Her eyebrows jump for a second, then she gives me a shove, obviously interpreting my smile as a smirk. I did so try to give her an honest smile but I'm a bit out of practise.
"Oh thanks sir, I'm glad the fact that I'm suffering as well makes you feel better"
She shakes her head again ruefully and I reach out and take that damn distracting meter from her hands. I put it down and entwine my fingers with hers. She looks up, confused.
"That's not what I meant. I meant I'm glad you're with me"
I give her hand a squeeze and she squeezes back, and we both turn our attention back to the panel, still holding hands. We sit this way for another half an hour or so, and I'm woken from a daydream by the sudden realisation that she's shivering. It is cold tonight and even though she has her fatigues on again the cold is still managing to permeate. I grunt as I lift myself on my elbows and move closer to her, looping an arm over her back. She stiffens a little at first then she gives a little sigh and relaxes, leaning into me. Maybe she still thinks I'm gonna try and force something. No, I'm not Sam, I want to, but I'm not. Damn these hormones. Y'know, if we weren't being all drugged up like this and forced into this situation, then I think that we might even have already progressed beyond hand holding naturally by now. I just think that there might be some chemistry between us. I don't know exactly what it is and I'm not entirely sure if she feels it, but it's there, and it's always been there, from day one. The fact that I've been trying my damnedest to ignore it for the past three years should tell you just how strong it is.
I wish it wasn't there, I wish I didn't always have to go around being aware of this thing hanging over us, threatening us at every turn, but it is. God, listen to me I make it sound like such a bad thing, but in so many ways it would be bad, and wrong. Very wrong. Wrong to love Sam Carter. Those words just don't sound right do they? How can it ever be wrong to love her? Well it is and I don't and I won't and I've tried ever so hard to move on and leave her alone...but I just can't. She's always there, always smiling at me and being with me, and sharing with me, and she just draws me right in. Just like she's drawn in most of the men on the base and I bet she has no idea. My arm tightens reflexively around her at the mention of other men, and I breathe deep and slow to regain some control. I will not let these hormones take over and ruin my relationship with her. I will not let them jeopardise everything that's never going to happen.
Never going to happen.
I let my eyes drop to the floor and a sigh escape my lips as I try and let go of her in my mind, try and stop my once hidden misplaced feelings from spilling out and drowning me.
Let her go Jack, let her go...oh God I've been trying, I've been trying so hard...
I close my eyes and bite my lip when all of a sudden I feel soft, warm fingers on my chin and I look up into her questioning eyes. Her other hand twined with mine squeezes, and I squeeze back. It's just like earlier in the hall today. I had my hands all over her before I even realised what the hell I was doing, and when I finally realised I saw she had made no move to remove my wandering fingers or tell me off, and I didn't know what to do or say. She just looked at me, and I searched her face as my hand hovered there, almost secretly asking an unspoken question. And then she smiled. She smiled the most beautiful shy smile I'd ever seen, and I was so sure it wasn't a 2IC comforting her commanding officer smile, I was so sure. So I put my hand back on her knee, feeling the warmth of her through the material, and she covered my hand with hers, still smiling. I thought...I thought it was an agreement, I thought she was telling me yes, that she feels like...that...oh I don't know. So I took her hand and put it on my knee and held it tight, trying to show her in my own dumb way how much I care, how much more I...how much more I want. And I thought she was saying the same thing, I thought she felt the same...But...but within a few minutes she had been dragged off by Reebin and the two of them were having a cosy conversation in the corner, his arm resting on her shoulder. And she never did a thing about that either. God I feel confused. For once anger and jealousy didn't come, just an overwhelming sadness and disappointment. The rational part of my brain tells me I should be glad, that I should be glad she feels nothing for me. Then I can get on with things and leave her the hell alone, like I've been trying so very hard to do.
I look deep into her eyes and she smiles that smile at me again, and I feel the pain of hope in my chest. She looks so sad and yet hopeful, and I know she's worried about getting home. I want to tell her it'll be okay, I want to tell her we'll get out of here, and I want to tell her that I'll never bother her about this and I'll leave her alone. She's young and smart and beautiful and she sure as hell wouldn't want me. And I don't want her, I don't, I'm gonna leave her alone and let her live the life she deserves, and maybe find one for myself, and then I'm gonna...kiss her?
I'm kissing her...
My mind was off solving my problems and when it wasn't looking we both just sort of leaned in and all I was really aware of was her blue eyes blurring out of focus and then suddenly the soft, soft caress of her lips on mine lit up my nervous system like Christmas lights and I took her in my arms. Her arms slide tentatively up my back and I gently roll her, my hands supporting her head on the cold floor as I lean over her. She doesn't pull away. She responds to the kiss and my mind is marvelling at the feel of her against me, under me. She's kissing me, and she's not stopping. It's not a passionate kiss, not really, not yet. It's just soft, exploratory, new. I try and concentrate on what I'm doing, but I can't get rid of the thought that this is exactly what our captors want us to do, that we're playing right into their hands. Is she just doing this because of the hormones? Am I? No...no we're both strong, and I feel very calm, like this is so right...but...Damn, our very first real kiss and I'm gonna ruin it. I don't count that kiss we had after the choosing, yeah so the want and need was there, but not the choice. And we both chose this, seemingly at the same time. I push all of these thoughts to the back of my mind and press my chest against hers, feeling hers rise and fall swiftly in response. She's a little tentative at first, but eventually she warms and eases into it and kisses me back, her fingers meeting the skin of my neck and sliding into my hair, making me moan softly. She pulls me tighter and I tangle my legs with hers, feeling her warmth along my body. One of her hands slides down my back and tucks under my jacket and smoothes up my spine, the hot, welcome contact through my T-shirt sending my already hyper sensitive nervous system into a frenzy. I slide one of my arms under her shoulders and lift her slightly, tightening the contact between our lips as I move over her and settle most of my weight onto her. She welcomes my shift and pulls me closer, and I screw up my eyes and let myself flow into the kiss. It deepens then and her hot breath washes over me as I free my tongue into her mouth and it meets hers for a sensual wrestle.
Her fingers take a handful of my hair and one of her legs rises to wrap around mine. The kiss becomes deep, slow and rhythmical, and our bodies writhe in a corresponding accompaniment, each inch of clothed skin demanding contact. This is one hell of a kiss. This is the outcome of years of sexual tension, and a nightmarish couple of months of unsurpassed need and desire. My entire body comes alive with her closeness, but funnily enough the kiss retains its pace and slow exploration, and I feel no need to push beyond, not yet. I may be feeling like a raging sex mad teenager but this is no first grope at a party aged sixteen, this is Sam. She's my team-mate and my friend and the woman that's slowly been pulling me out of my emotionless shell since I met her. And she's more, so much more, and I want her to be more, despite all I just said and agreed in my head about moving on. It's funny how you get these moments of clarity in the most inappropriate situations. Hormones be damned but I so want to just kiss her, experience her in a way I never have, and she seems to feel the same way. For once I'm not lost wondering what she's thinking, what she's feeling, for it's all laid out for me now. If she didn't want to kiss me, touch me like this and be touched the same in return she would stop. So she wants me to kiss her, wants me to touch her, and I'm certainly not going to disappoint.
I sigh and relax on top of her, and the tension that I wasn't aware she was feeling slips away as well and I feel her muscles relax and her fingers in my hair start a slow massage of my scalp. I've never had a kiss like this before, and to be honest I can't believe I'm tricking my body to go along with it. My brain is obviously assuring my body that this is merely the first step, but I don't think it is. Right now I haven't even begun to think beyond this first, perfect step. To be perfectly honest if we keep going like this we may both just slip into heavenly happy unconsciousness.
I'm being kissed to death, and I don't mind one little bit.
I move my hand from her head and cup her jaw, my thumb gently smoothing her soft perfect skin, and her other hand slides down my back and tucks into my waistband, and pleasant ripples of sensation wash up my spinal cord and break over my brain, making me drowsy. This is the most erotic, sensual thing I've ever shared with a woman, and judging by the way she's writhing lazily underneath me, and tangling my tongue with hers, then she doesn't find it too objectionable either. I feel like I could just melt into her, and a part of me that's throbbing down below thinks that that would be a very nice thing. Oh yeah...very nice...
My God I think I'm falling in love with her.
Except that falling suggests that it's happening currently, and it really should be past tense if I'm going to be completely honest with myself here. Oh for crying out loud, one kiss and I'm admitting some very bad things. Things I thought I'd pushed very far away, things I thought I'd decided to leave very well alone, but I'm kissing her for God's sake! She stretches out underneath me and presses every gorgeous inch of her form up against me and suddenly her hand on my back finds bare skin and starts to explore every dip and ridge of my now exposed spine. Oh my...I guess I asked for that when I ran my hand down her throat and traced the delicate outline of her exposed collarbone, running my fingers around the cruel border of her T-shirt. She gasps against my mouth and I press down on top of her, holding her tightly against me, and her fingers dig into my bare back. Simultaneously we clutch at each other, our hands on each others heads holding tight, the kiss turning heated, hungry.
Her hand sweeps down over my rear and up my exposed back as I skirt her side and breast with a questing hand, and all of a sudden the rest of my body wakes up from it's strange dormancy and demands more. She arches beneath me and I growl into the kiss, making her grab at me, pulling me closer still.
Oh God I ache for her...
I push her jacket slowly from her shoulders and she does the same to me. We wriggle closer once again and as her hands move to my hips I take a handful of the side of her T-shirt and haul it from her waistband, and then we freeze. We both hang there, breaths held, faces inches apart as soft, intruding beeps fill the air, and when we're sure they are forming distinct patterns we reluctantly scramble apart and crouch by the open panel. Sam leans her ear in close and calls out the letters as she hears them in a breathless husky voice as I haul my trembling carcass off the floor and slouch against the wall, arms around myself as I know what this must mean, and that our one chance at 'us' is over.
"Hi...Guys...Daniel here, miss me?"
No...not really Daniel...Not really...
Kel'no'reem is welcoming and calming, but it does not eradicate the pervading sense of loss, and pain. It refreshes my body but time and again it does not ease my mind. Again there is that indefinable something that will not allow me to rest fully, and I do not know what that something is. It flits through my mind on the swift wings of a bird, and though I try I cannot capture it nor lure it to me.
Why can't I remember? Did they take it from me? Our captors? Did they steal this knowledge away from me? It must have been important. The room seems suddenly cold and I wrap my arms around myself as I remember. We walked into the woods, and we walked there and we met someone...we met...someone...and this person...this person...they...they...and it's cold...cold...there was cold...
Oh...
I leap to my feet and push my door open, candles flying as I kick them our of the way and jog out into the corridor on my bare feet. An airman in the corridor flattens himself against the wall as I jog past and head for the control room. I pound in and Siler turns to watch as I climb the stairs and run across the briefing room, and finally find myself in front of General Hammond door. I knock quickly and when he acknowledges me I enter. He rises to his feet when he see my face, and his eyebrows pull down over his eyes in his puzzlement.
"Teal'c? What's the matter son?"
I stand open mouthed and stare at the General as my scattered thoughts and memories career around in my confused brain. I'm not even entirely sure of what I have just discovered, only that I had to tell the General right away.
"Teal'c?" Asks the General again, and this time he is by my side, his concerned face looking up into mine. I break from my revere and look down at him.
"I remember...I remember. We met a person when we passed into the woods, and they befriended us, and then we headed back to the gate..."
"Yes Teal'c, you told us this already..."
"But there is something new General Hammond. I remember being on a table, a table in a cold room, and they had removed my goa'uld. And there were people talking, our captors were talking"
"Okay...is that all?"
"No...The captors spoke of needing the tau'ri captives to perform tasks for them And they spoke of keeping them, of housing them with other prisoners they had taken"
"Then...then they could still be alive?"
"I am sure of it"
"Then it's still possible that they are still together? That they could escape?"
"I believe so General Hammond, but there is something else"
He puts his hands on his hips and waits for me to continue.
"The person we met on the planet, I...I cannot remember anything about them, but I do remember one thing as they spoke over my table. They outlined their plan. That person will befriend SG1, and then betray them"
SQRWWWWWWWRK!
FSSSSSHHHHHH
I tap the radio angrily and finally find the correct frequency. Curse these inferior technologies, our attention should be focused more on repairing and learning more about the abandoned machinery on our world, and not wasting time with these...these people...not that all of them are a waste, but some of them I could happily be without.
But back to the task at hand...
"Do you read me? Control do you read me?"
"we...ead...ou...go ahead..."
"I have found out more, but I don't have much time...I can't let my cell mate hear me..."
"The...au'ri?...at...ave...ou...ound...out?"
"You're breaking up control...can't you up the power?"
"No...can't spare...ower...ave they...ated?"
"Uh...no control I don't think so, but I think I may have a better idea"
"...etter? Do ...ell...can ...ou...find where they...ome from?"
"I may be able to do better than that. They intend to escape, and I intend to go with them"
"eep...us posted...out"
I flick the switch on my small radio and settle down into the corner of my cell. My weak and easily influenced cell mate is asleep in the far corner, and I huddle on my mattress and pull the corners of my rough blanket up to my chin.
"This one? Are you sure?"
"I think so yes Sir...this is definitely the one"
I shift from foot to foot as Carter flips open the little door panel on the outside and fiddles with the buttons inside. As soon as we got Daniel's message we collected out stuff and left, quietly creeping along the corridor to find his room. I wasn't sad to leave our cell, but the timing could have been a little better, but enough of that now Jack, we have a 'go' here. I glance up and down the dark corridor as Carter crouches by the wall, and after what seems like a painful eternity the door slides open and I stick my head into the gloom. In the corner I can see sleeping bodies, and I'm just about to crane my neck in further when a dishevelled figure lurches out at me from behind the wall in my blind spot.
"Woah" I say and take a step back, wishing I had a gun to raise.
"Jack! Sam! It's me!"
The figure sloughs off a dirty blanket and steps out into the light, pushing his glasses up his nose and sweeping grimy hair from his eyes.
"Daniel!" squeals Carter and launches herself into his arms. Oh thank God he's okay. They chuckle and laugh quietly for a moment in a tight embrace and after clenching my teeth for a while I reach out and haul Sam backwards by her collar, and pull her against my side. Reunion over guys, you can hug later. Well actually, no you can't, it kinda freaks me out in actual fact. Carter stumbles back surprised and I grin at Danny as best I can, and clasp his shoulders in my hands giving him a quick look over before indicating the corridor behind us.
"Daniel, great to see you and all, but we really don't have time for reunions here and now, let's get moving. Can you get us to the old cells?"
He looks from a confused Carter to me and back, and then nods to himself as if he knows exactly what's going on. Knowing him he probably does but even if not I don't plan to give him a brief synopsis explaining my actions, not now or ever. 'Sorry about my abruptness Danny, but you see I'm a raging Neanderthal with designs on Sam and why can't all you other guys just keep your damn grubby hands off of her? Oh and yeah if you ever interrupt us like that again I'll...' Nah...I really can't see myself saying that.
"Okay uh...hi Jack, nice to see you. The old cells are this way"
Daniel starts off in one direction, and Carter and I rush after him, only to slam into his back when he stops suddenly and swings around to face another smaller corridor that curves away to the right. I growl under my breath as my chest connects with his back, and Carter squeezes my fingers. Daniel doesn't even notice my behaviour and he simply pauses for a moment then starts down that corridor instead. Carter and I look at each other, then we both shrug and follow him.
I can't help it, I'm all on edge. It's not fair! I almost had her, we almost...
"Daniel, are you sure you know where you're going here?"
He pauses and shoves his glasses back up his nose, then shifts the paper item from under one arm to another as he looks up and down. Carter comes up to my side and I resist the urge to put my arm around her and pull her close.
"Umm...well...I think it's this way Jack..."
"Well why don't you consult your little map there Daniel, wouldn't that help?"
He plucks the folded item from under his arm and looks at it confused, before shaking his head and turning to me. Carter takes a step forward and her hands go to her hips. Yeah she has the same feeling I have. Her expression is one of 'here's where Daniel tells us the catch', much the same as mine. We really do think alike. Not only do we read each others mind in battle and think alike in most situations like this, we even go to kiss each other at the same time. That's teamwork and knowing your team-mates huh?
"Uh...this is the history of this world and these people Jack...I left the map at the library..."
Oh Daniel, wrong answer...
"Let me get this straight Daniel, you left the map but you stole the book?"
"Uh...well I thought I should take the opportunity to study the people more, maybe understand what's going on here...and..."
I stop and slap my hands against my face, and I hear Sam's incredulous voice.
"But you said the map was an entire layout of this building Daniel, we might need it. We may have to go outside and we need the map to find the gateroom if we get lost"
"Uh, for one there is no outside Sam, this is it. The world outside is ruined, destroyed, this is the one city. But, we could get the map if you want..."
Sensing questions in the air I drag my hands from my face and turn to face them, and sure enough the two of them are looking right at me. Here's another situation I'm very familiar with. Daniel and Carter look at me in the way that means they both want to do something that I think is either dangerous, or a waste of time. Well this time it may well be both.
"Look, if Daniel can get us to the old cells we don't need the map!"
"But sir, Daniel said that the map had layouts and blueprints superimposed on it, it may be useful"
Great. Two pairs of big blue eyes looking at me in that way. Well, there's a certain pair of blue eyes that I just can't resist right at the moment, and as she cocks her head to entreat me my insides just turn to mush. Well, considering what we were doing not ten minutes ago they're pretty mushy already. Daniel glances from me to Sam, and I bet he's wondering just what is passing between us right now. I sigh and lower my head, and Sam reaches out to touch Daniel on the shoulder. Oh she knows she's won. Damn. She knows just how to get around me doesn't she? I wonder how long she's been doing that...
"Okay, how far is the library, and are we gonna have any problems getting in Daniel?"
"Uh, it's just down there behind us, and I don't think they lock the doors at night"
"You don't think?...well that's just...ah hell...let's go"
I sweep my arm and Daniel jogs ahead of me and around the corner, and as Sam goes to follow him I grab her upper arm and pull her against my chest. She lands against me with her hands flat against my shoulders and looks up into my eyes. I don't know why I just did that and I don't know what I'm going to do now. Reminding myself that this is neither the time nor the place to finish what we started or even talk about it, I simply smile, pat her shoulder and let her go. She steps back and looks at me curiously, then she turns on her heel and jogs down the darkened corridor after Daniel.
Way to handle that Jack. I'm sure if I had some branding equipment on me I'd have done that by now. Or maybe a leash and collar? Forget it. She's not yours and she won't ever be remember? Let's get out of here, I can apologise for kissing her when we get home...
I give the side of my head a thump with my hand and jog after my friends.
Okay...this way...no, no...this way! I take a sharp left and come out into a larger corridor. The sound of footsteps ring out on the bare stone floor, and suddenly I'm hauled backwards into the shadows. Jack and Sam are hunched together in the shadow of a pale curved pillar. All I can see are their shining eyes and hear their breath as the pair of guards pass, trying their best to imitate the loud, arrogant strides of Jaffa. They make not a bad job of it, but you can tell their hearts aren't really in it. I suppose it must be hard for them, playing the parts of those they hate. A finger jabs into my back then, and as the guards pass an icy voice whispers in my ear.
"You never told us that the library was in guard central Danny boy"
"Well, the library, the uh, depository of a societies knowledge always tends to be in the centre of a city, or more specifically the bureaucratic area of a city, so as such..."
"You mean this is where all the head honcho's are? You brought us right into the lion's den so to speak?"
Jack's voice has risen a few notches, and even in the dim light I can see Sam's hand tighten on his shoulder in an effort to calm him. Jack's been snipping at me since we met up, but it's already clear to see that Sam is the one keeping him in control. Note for future reference while we're still on this planet, any requests I want to make of Jack I'll go through Sam first, get her on my side and he's sure to follow. He relaxes with her hand squeezing his shoulder, and I can't help but wonder what exactly has, if anything, happened between them. Later, I'll ask later, right now we have things to do.
"So, is that it over there?"
"Uh yes, those double doors, the one on the left should be open. The map is in a book on my table"
"Okay, let's move, but keep it quiet"
We move across the hall and thankfully the door is open. We push the heavy wood inwards and I creep quietly across the room and past the vast bookcases to my seat and small desk underneath the old window. I open the dusty tome and carefully extract the map and hand it to Sam. She tucks it in her jacket and stops to crane her neck up and have a good look around, her eyes taking in the vaulted gold roof and the panelled wood. Jack merely fidgets and looks eager to be gone.
"Wow...this is some library Daniel" She says, her eyes coming back to rest on me.
"I know, who knows what kind of information about the Goa'uld is kept here? I mean the people here were obviously forced to keep journals and books on the Goa'uld way of life, and these texts could give us valuable information that could help us to..."
A tapping on my shoulder stops me and I turn to face a very impatient looking Jack.
"Okay, I'll say this now and I'll say this once. I don't care what kind of 'valuable information' you could get here. We're prisoners, and we're currently in the process of trying to escape, we just don't have time for this Daniel. If this place is the...the bureaucratic centre of this city or whatever, then it's probably going to be swarming with guards and official type people, so we do not want to hang about in here, okay?"
"Uh, well actually Jack, I don't think we're likely to be discovered"
Jack just straightens and screws up his face, scratching at his stubbled jaw, but Sam takes a step closer and looks at me curiously.
"Daniel, what are you not telling us? You know something don't you?"
"Well I've been reading about the history of this planet for the last month" I take a second to glare at a sighing Jack, and when Sam does the same he flings his arms up, then makes some impatient hand signals for me to continue.
"This place by rights should be teeming with people, but besides the guards, I've only seen a small group of other people, and they were fairly old. Jack, to be honest I don't think there are a great deal of people here, guards yes, but beyond that I have no idea where the population is. Maybe they live off-world or in another city, but..."
"Okay okay...so we don't need to panic too much, good. Daniel, do you know where we 're going?"
Jack glares at me with his hands on his hips, and Sam gravitates closer to him. The closer she gets the more she seems to relax, and I feel a little like an outsider seeing this new...bond...or whatever it is between them. I guess I should be happy that he's letting me even talk to Sam if he's all pumped up on hormones, and to be honest I really don't intend to push things where that is concerned. I remember another time with another jealous Jack, and I still wince sometimes where he gets angry with me. He taps his foot impatiently and I take a last look around the library at all the knowledge undoubtedly headed for the incinerator. Letting a long sigh escape I move over to the others and step up to the door, Jack hot on my heels. I slip out into the corridor and head left.
"This way"
"Uh...fourth door? is that right?"
"Yes sir...that one there...just do what I showed you"
I turn back to the panel in front of me and grit my teeth. The click of the door opening down the hall reaches me, and I hear Sam whispering as she leans into the now open doorway, and a sleepy Rosay finally emerges. I lean down to activate the sequence Sam taught me, and once again I find myself hesitating. Inside this room Alith and Reebo are waiting for us to come let them out, and I just don't want to. Maybe I could let Alith out then accidentally shut the door in Reebin's face, but I don't think Sam would approve. And quite frankly I really don't want to do anything else to upset her right now. I press my little piece of metal against the sockets in the right order and the door slides open. I peer in through the gloom and a figure walks out, shielding his face from the light.
"Sam? Is that you?"
I stick my head right in his face and give him a huge grin.
"'Fraid not Reebo, just me. Now I know I ain't half as pretty as Carter, but I get just as impatient when people are late, so let's get moving huh?"
He glares at me for a second then walks out into the corridor, and Alith timidly follows him. I smile to reassure her, and she rushes over to Carter's side. Carter who is currently in the arms of Reebo...why that little...
"Uh...Jack?"
"What?" I whisper harshly, and Daniel's eyebrows jump at my vehement reaction. He pats my shoulder and smiles a little, though staying out of reach.
"Just take it easy huh? And let's get out of here"
Looks like he's well aware of what's going on here. He always did tease me about my protectiveness of Carter. The others move back along the corridor and I join them and fall into step by elbowing my way between Carter and Reebo. We walk to the edge of the corridor that marks the border of my knowledge of the layout here, and I turn expectantly to Reebo who stands eyeing me darkly. Here's where you earn your keep Reebo, and I hope you know that this is only damn reason I'm keeping you around. I wish it was Sam's only reason for wanting him to come with us.
"So, after you Reebo..."
God I hate him...
I think all my brothers are dead.
I have been here for many years, and for much of it I was vaguely aware of the presence of my bothers through a drugged haze. But I think they are gone. It has been a long time since I have been aware of them, and I always thought that maybe they had finally found the right drugs to subdue me and control me, but I'm afraid it's more likely that my brothers were given the wrong drugs, and they paid.
I think they are dead.
I feel no emotion with this realisation, and in truth all I really feel is a measure of relief. Relief that I will never again have to be part of that which I was, and relief that none of them have survived to hear me speak thus. Let's just say that they would not be best pleased. But do not fear my brothers, my selfishness is most definitely intact! The first remotely appealing body that comes my way will be my new host, and we shall leave this awful place, and go somewhere else, somewhere better. Someplace quiet where I can have a simple life, and some peace. Huh...a simple life. I'm not even sure what that is. My life so far has been anything but simple. Maybe in some small way I can make up for what I've done, what my ancestors have done. I can still feel them, still feel their memories in me, but with each new day they fade a little more, and a small part of me absently wonders if the people of this planet have indeed achieved what they set out to do in me.
Have they indeed created a tame Goa'uld? Is that what I am? Is this not my choice, not the final product of years of torment and thought on my part? Maybe not, maybe they finally got their little chemicals right, maybe they stripped me of all the things that made me what I was. They weren't content just to kill us you see, or to send us away, oh no, they wanted more. They wanted revenge and they wanted power, and ultimately they wanted control. Control of their lives and their planet, and what would be a more ironic thing to do your captors, than make them captives? They only killed those of us they could not subdue, and the rest of us they kept. They admired us in a way I suppose, admired our powers and what we could do, and I dare say as they sat on the ruined spoils of their triumphant war that one of them had the smart idea to keep us around. But there was only one way to do that wasn't there? And for the most part it failed, at a very great cost. A very great cost. Still, they saved my life, such as it is, but I am still here.
Well...well then remind me to thank them if I ever meet one face to face again. A live one that is...
"Shh! Get down!"
"For God's sake Reebin will you get your big head out of the light!"
I flinch at the Colonel's words and watch as Reebin pulls himself back into the shadows. The Colonel continues grumbling under his breath and I nudge him in the ribs to shut him up and give Reebin a comforting pat on the back. When I turn back to the Colonel he's looking at me with hurt eyes and I just sigh and move over to Daniel. So I stop the Colonel from being unnecessarily nasty to Reebin and he treats me like I'm the villain for taking his side. Great. The sooner we get out of here the better.
Reebin led us down a corridor flanked by pillars, and it seems to skirt around the outside of the area containing our cells. We finally moved after having a long argument about whether or not to release the other prisoners. We finally decided that we would have a better chance if we got out of here with a small group, then we could make plans to come back and free the others if necessary. These corridors look very Goa'uldish, and when I look at the map I can see the area that Daniel showed me, the area marked out by a roughly square shape. There are small outlying diagrams showing several floors above this, and though they are placed haphazardly on the map with lines and arrows showing where they belong, something about them is triggering some memories. Each layer above here is a rough square, and as the floors go up the size decreases. Decreasing sizes of squares, set on top of one another...oh...
"Sir?"
I feel the Colonel's warmth settle against me as he moves in the darkness, and a small shiver travels the length of my body, settling in my knees and making them go weak. Concentrate Sam, all that is over remember? He has no effect on me, he has no effect on me, he has no effect...
"What?" He whispers, the warm breath wisping around my ear. Daniel leans over too and the others listen, but the Colonel effectively blocks Reebin getting any closer by leaning against the pillar with an outstretched arm. I open the map enough for him to see, and indicate the area of cells we know so well.
"See this area sir, and then the floors above it, see how they are all square shaped and the squares get smaller? The area we are in now is clearly different from the area of the old cells, and most of the rest of this complex has only one floor.
"I see that Carter, what does that tell us?"
He leans in closer as I point out some details on the complicated and almost indecipherable map and his other hand rests on my hip to balance him as he leans over my shoulder.
"Well, what do these corridors remind you of sir? Wouldn't you say they were very Goa'uldish, and not like the other areas?"
He peers over my shoulder, and I have to bite my lip at the burning pressure on my hip from his casual hand. He lurches forward suddenly, and removes his other hand from the pillar, and snakes it under my arm to trace an outline on the map.
"Squares on top of each other...wait a minute...is this a pyramid? A Goua'uld mothership?"
He looks at me over my shoulder, and he's wearing an expression I've never seen before. He's just figured something out for himself, and instead of looking smug, or casually confident which he normally does, his eyes plead for conformation, for...for praise. I smile as I face him, and he looks so happy to be right. He doesn't think that I believe for a minute he's as dumb as he sometimes pretends to be does he? We all know he's just pretending, and to tell a little truth I actually find it adorable. But...I really must stop thinking about this sort of thing...
"Exactly sir...this must be the ship that the Goa'uld arrived here on. The fact that they built a city around it might mean it crashed, or that it was too damaged to take off again"
"So...are you saying that maybe they didn't even mean to come here? That they had to land here?"
"It's possible sir, they may have been forced to land. Maybe they were being attacked or chased and had no other choice"
Daniel pushes his way over then, and the Colonel bristles a little behind me, but does nothing as Daniel leans into my other side and looks at the map.
"So, if they came here by accident or necessity, why didn't they leave again? The gate was obviously the gate on their ship, and they could have gone anywhere they wanted"
"Well, I guess they thought they had things pretty good here don't ya think Danny? They crash landed on a planet with a ready made work force, I guess they thought this was as good a place as any"
"You're probably right Jack. The fact that they only took slaves from quiet planets close by suggests that they were on the run from some other Goa'ulds"
"Well they got what they deserved Daniel..."
"And look what that did to the people, they've become as bad as them or even worse..."
"Sam! There are guards!"
Rosay nudges me with an annoyed expression, and we all huddle in the darkness and stay quiet as four guards walk past, lost in their own conversations. Once things fall quiet the Colonel looks around him, then sighs and settles back against my side. I flinch away from him a little when he gets too close, and he just keeps pressing against me. Please stop it sir...please...I elbow him in the ribs and he turns to me, startled, and at first he clearly has no idea why I'm annoyed. Then he looks into my eyes and he sees it. We shouldn't have kissed. It was...it was just one of those things that happen, under certain circumstances, and now he seems to think that I'm his personal property. Oh I excused his behaviour before, but we're almost home sir, please can you just give me a little space? Please? I close my eyes and bite my lip as he removes his heat from me, and walks away to examine the wall, and I can almost taste and feel his annoyance and disappointment with me. The pain he feels at my apparent rejection. It...it was just one of those things, and I will not allow the memory of his touch, his mouth, his smell, to stop me focusing on my job. And I cannot do that when he never leaves my side. Every slight touch of his, the warmth of his breath, even his gentle voice is driving me crazy. It seems I am not the professional soldier I should be under the circumstances. It's wrong, it's wrong to feel about him this way, it's so very wrong to...to love him. There...there I've said it. I've said it and admitted it to myself and I so wish I hadn't. Way to complicate the situation Sam, way to make things fifty times harder than they already are. I know he's not himself, I know he didn't mean to kiss me but now I have to show him it was wrong, and try and push him away, no matter how much it hurts me, or him...in the circumstances. I must say this is something I never, ever thought I'd have to do. I have to push him away when all I really want is to keep him close. No Sam, no. Even if he did want me it couldn't happen, and there are other men out there.
I spare a glance at Reebin who smiles at me warmly, and quickly turn away. I like Reebin , I really do, but...but...But what Sam? There is no 'but' remember? Reebin has never been anything other than nice to me, he respects me, and even though he has been as full of hormones as everyone else, he has remained curious and thoughtful, and has never once tried to even touch me. And the Colonel...well, he hasn't exactly been a saint...not that I can lay the blame for earlier squarely on his shoulders, I freely admit that I was equally...uh...to blame.
"I think we should move, it's not safe here" Says Rosay. Her auburn hair is tucked behind her ears, and her face looks set and rather unhappy. She's been anxious ever since we got out, and I can't say I blame her. Alith has been quiet, but her time with Reebin seems to have calmed her, and though her eyes are fearful, her chin is high and firm. Reebin is the only one of us who seems calm, and personally I feel much like Rosay. We're just not safe here. The sooner we get to the gateroom and get out of here the better.
"Yeah Rosay, I think you're right. Reebo?" Says Jack from where he's leaning against the wall.
"There should be a hatchway around the corner. There are large ventilation tunnels that we can probably use to get out of these main corridors for a while"
We all turn to face the Colonel who's regarding Reebin while he scratches at his chin. He looks at each of us in turn, but only meets my eyes for a fraction of a second. Now he thinks I'm blaming him for the kiss. That's all I need, some resentment between us.
"Sir?" I ask, forcing him to look at me, and he sighs and waves his hand at Reebin.
"Let's go Reebo"
We run along another corridor staying to the shadows, and we eventually locate one of the hatches Reebin spoke of. They're very small. Very, very small. Reebin and Daniel pull the hatch from the wall revealing a two foot square gap, with some sharp looking edges,
"You expect us to fit in there Reebo?" The Colonel asks incredulously.
I kneel in front of it, and after sticking my head through I decide we'll all probably it through with a little pushing and pulling.
"Sir, we should fit, it'll be a little tight but..."
"Oh alright Carter, since the two of you are so chummy, you two take watch. Daniel get through there!" He pushes me aside and drags Daniel with him and shoves him down, helping him through with his boot. I just bite my lip and step out into the corridor with Reebin. I'm not going to do anything to annoy him further. I hate it when he's angry at me, I hate it.
It takes a while but eventually they all manage to squeeze through the gap. The Colonel with his big frame proved the tightest fit, but eventually with pushing and pulling he went through. For once I'm glad Teal'c isn't here, he would never have fit. The Colonel sticks his head out and signals us over, but suddenly the air is filled with the sounds of marching guards, many marching guards. All of a sudden the guards seem on top of us, and I'm caught out in the light. They're coming from both directions, and there is no way we have enough time to squeeze through that gap, it's right out in the open and we'll get caught! The Colonel is holding his hand out for me as Reebin and I stand startled in the light with the sound of footsteps advancing.
"Sam! Take my hand! Come on Sam we can make it!"
I don't have time, I'll never make it through without the guards seeing me. I glance at Reebin and he's looking along the corridor at right angles to this one, and it appears to have several other corridors branching of it.
"Sam..." Reebin says, and I know I only have one choice. I take the map from my jacket and throw it at the Colonel, then with Reebin hauling on my sleeve I whisper at the Colonel before we turn and make a run for it.
"We'll meet you at the gateroom, go sir!"
I backpedal down the other corridor as Reebin pulls me with him, and as I finally turn to run, I'm left with an image in my mind. The Colonel with the map clutched to his chest with one hand, and the other hand outstretched towards me. Daniel reached forward and pulled him into hiding at the last minute, but all I can see in my mind are the Colonel's eyes. They looked so fearful, so sad, and in a way betrayed. Reebin darts left and I follow him, and as we run for seemingly ages the light levels get lower and lower as we head off into little used areas, and finally the footsteps behind us cease. We made it. We pause and lean against the wall to catch our breath, and when Reebin touches me on the shoulder and I turn to face him.
"Are you okay Sam?"
"Yes Reebin, I'm fine..."
Damn damn damn! It's all going wrong!
This should never have happened, we should never have been split up like this! Never! I should have made Sam go through first, and I would have if I hadn't been so angry at her. Angry with no reason. I kissed her, it's my fault, and when she gives me a little wakeup call and reminds me of the boundaries I go and sulk and take it out on her. Way to be a good friend and CO Jack, nicely done, and now she's out there somewhere...with him...
"Jack...come on Jack, they're right behind us!"
I feel a hand clutching at my shoulder but all I want is to go after Sam. We crawled along the ventilation shaft for a bit until we arrived at what looks like the main corridor in this place. It's very wide and flanked with handy pillars and baffles, and it's the one piece of Goa'uld architecture I appreciate. So now we're in this corridor, and trying our best to stay out of sight while Daniel consults the map and tries to get us to the room Reebin identified as the gateroom. I'm standing fretting at the panel waiting for them to follow us, and after another fifteen minutes I'm beginning to seriously worry.
"Dammit Daniel we can't leave her!"
"Jack, Sam has a clear route to the gate, with any luck she'll be there by the time we lose these guards, but if we don't move now we won't get anywhere!"
I turn at Daniel's angry words, and he stares me down, eyes boring into me, and I have to grudgingly admit that he's right. Besides, they're gonna be running too, so I doubt that Reebin will have any time to salivate all over Sam.
"Alright...but if he so much as..."
"Jack...it'll be okay...let's go..."
He pats my shoulder, and pulls me gently upright. He tries to give me a smile but I push past him and stomp down the hallway, not caring how many guards hear me. Let them come, let them come and I'll tear them all apart. I hear Daniel come after me and I increase my pace to keep him behind.
The sooner we get home the sooner I'll get Sam away from Reebin
"So, do we back track to the route you know, or do we head in the same direction from here? I got a good look at the map but I'm not sure which corridor to take if we go that way"
I indicate back over my shoulder, and after a moments silence I look up to find Reebin watching me very closely. I blush a little and look away, and his fingers find mine as we stand at a dim intersection, trying to get our bearings. I feel my heart speed a little, and I stop the smile on my lips from forming as soon as I realise what I'm doing. I just pushed the Colonel away and now I've gone all girly and am blushing at Reebin? Some soldier I am...
"Sam...I like you very much"
Oh gosh, what does a girl say to that. I can feel my cheeks go red, and when I look back at Reebin his green eyes are wide open, and I find myself fascinated by the brown flecks within.
"Reebin...we really should be going..."
"This way, but Sam...can I ask you something?"
I'd really rather say no, but something makes me say yes.
"I'm glad you're away from Jack, I was worried about you being locked up with him..."
I shake my head and move away.
"Reebin...listen..."
"I didn't want you to be left alone with him Sam, I didn't trust him with you"
"Reebin, it's okay, it was fine, really..."
Dark green eyes bore into me, and he takes a hold of my head so I cannot look away.
"Did he touch you Sam?"
"Reebin! I...no...no he didn't"
I wrench my head from his and he lets me go. I feel a strange mix of anger and disappointment, and I don't know which feeling is for which situation. Yes we kissed, but I can't blame that on the Colonel, I just cannot, no matter how much I'd like to. I was as much to blame as he was if not more. I kissed him just as much as he kissed me, but I know, I know deep down that if I'd told him to stop he would have, he would have. So strictly yes, he did touch me, and if Daniel hadn't interrupted then I don't know what would have happened, but I know that one or both of us would have stopped it. We would never have let that happen between us. I...I don't want that...I...
"I can understand what he was feeling Sam, but I cannot ever forgive him if he tried to force you. Alith and I both consented in what we did, and I would certainly never have forced her..."
What? WHAT? Reebin and Alith...they slept together? He slept with her? All this time he's been frothing at the mouth over every unprofessional look Jack has given me and he's been sleeping with Alith? I...I can't believe...I can't believe he's just told me this...I stare incredulously at him as he continues, seemingly not noticing my change in expression.
"I have no feelings for Alith Sam, you must understand that it was merely circumstance that brought us together, and I just wanted to make sure Jack did not attempt to force you or..."
He stops speaking suddenly as I slap him. His head snaps around and his hand goes to his now reddened face. I'm as shocked as him, and though I'd like to think I slapped him for what he did with Alith, I think I did it because he slurred the Colonel.
"Well obviously the Colonel has more restraint than you, how dare you do that to Alith?"
All this time with his 'holier than thou' act, all that glaring at Jack when he couldn't stop touching me, and I thought it was because he cared about me, because he was afraid for me. Well, I see now that it was all out of jealousy, just like the Colonel. I can't believe I was holding Reebin up in my head as a shining example of how a man should behave, and all this time he was...with Alith...Well Reebin, you were all talk weren't you?
"Sam...please...it..." He begs as he rubs at his face...
"Reebin, if you hurt Alith I swear..."
"Sam you saw her, she is fine. I...I never meant to...and I certainly did not hurt her. It was a mutual choice Sam, but believe me that all those times meant nothing to us..."
All those times? Keep digging that hole Reebin...I just can't believe he did that. Colonel, I am so sorry if I thought for even one minute that your behaviour was unbefitting. I see now that the restraint you employed under the circumstances was admirable. I mean, it doesn't matter why he didn't try anything, just that he didn't. I know he was affected, strong he may be but there was no denying that the hormones were certainly having an effect, but he didn't give in to them. That one time we kissed was down to both of us, and though he may have been giving in then, I know that was not the reason I kissed him. No, I kissed him because I wanted to, because I've always wanted to. Right or wrong it's the truth and it's about time I really admitted it. I'd like to think that's why he kissed me, and although I know it could simply be down to the hormones, would he really have kissed me like that if it was? That was no kiss from a desperate drugged up man. I have never, ever been kissed like that in my life, and in any other situation I would have said that he wanted to kiss me for its own sake, and not for what might have come after. I shouldn't have given the Colonel a hard time, he really didn't deserve it. What if he's being close because he really does want to? What if he's trying to show me that he meant the kiss, and that he hopes for more as I do? Okay Sam, getting into the region of make believe now, but at least Reebin's admission has brought me back down to earth concerning him. He's not the perfect man I may have been deluding myself he was, he's just a man, like the Colonel. The only thing I have the right to be angry about with Reebin is if he forced or hurt Alith, and she told me herself that he was the perfect gentleman, and I also have no right to be angry with the Colonel.
So, now it appears they are on equal footing. For God's sake Sam, are you going to write up a pros and cons list? No, this is neither the time nor the place to think about my feelings or lack of feelings for either man. Now is simply the time to get home. When I finally stop arguing with myself and turn to Reebin he's watching me quietly, waiting for my reaction.
"I'm sorry I hit you Reebin, I had no right"
"No...you were...worried about Alith, but I promise you I never treated her badly and it never meant anything. I did not mean to upset you Sam. But...you do promise me that Jack did not..."
"Reebin, the Colonel behaved like a gentleman" I smile as I talk but I am totally unprepared for the dark look he gives me.
"I do not believe you..."
"Reebin, I'm telling you the truth..."
"I don't trust him Sam...and I don't know why you put up with him..." Why I put up with him? He's my CO and I don't have any choice, that's why. And hell even if I and the choice I wouldn't go anywhere, I love being in SG1, and I love being his 2IC"
"Sam...do you have feelings for him? Is that why you're defending him?" He asks, his hand gripping my arm tightly.
"Uh...Reebin...he's my commanding officer...and my friend..."
His hand tightens as he leans in and I have to pull it from his grasp as he leans in menacingly. I can't believe he just asked me that...I just can't believe it...
"And?..."
"And nothing Reebin, now let go!"
He drops my arm and steps back, then looks in horror down at his own fingers.
"Sam...I am so sorry Sam, forgive me...the chemicals in the food...I am sorry I cannot help my jealousy...please...forgive me?"
How can I not forgive those eyes?
"It's okay Reebin...I understand...now which way?"
He nods quickly, then starts off down the left corridor, signalling me to follow him. Nice though Reebin is he really almost scared me there. I'm beginning to wish I was alone with the Colonel again...just because I know him better...that's all...
"So you're sure that they're still alive somewhere"
"I am"
"Well, glad though I am Teal'c, it really doesn't help us find them, I don't know what you are expecting me to do"
"You must put their codes back into the computer, you must allow them to come home if they escape"
"Teal'c...you know I can't do that. Yes, they may still be alive and they may escape, but it's just as possible that whoever their captors are may extract those codes from SG1 and use them to launch an assault on us!"
"Would they not have done that already if that is what their captors intended General Hammond?"
"Well maybe Teal'c, but I can't rely on that. Briefing dismissed"
With that SG9 rise from their seats and leave, and Teal'c slowly rises from his to follow. I watch as they leave one by one, and as Teal'c approaches the door something in me softens and I call him back.
"Teal'c...a moment please..."
"General?"
"Look Teal'c, I want SG1 back as much as you do, but I'm sure wherever they are that they have not given up..."
"Like we have"
"No Teal'c, I haven't given up on them either, but there are rules and procedure to follow Teal'c, and the safety of this base must come first"
"I...understand"
"But...I will tell you this, and it will go no further than this room. There is one code left that they may try Teal'c, one code that I entrusted to Colonel O'Neill just recently in the event of SG1 becoming trapped for a long period of time. If they are still fighting out there and they do escape, then they still have a way home son"
Teal'c watches my face steadily, then nods once and leaves. I hope that offers him a small measure of relief, because it sure as hell does that for me. It at least reassures me that I haven't written them off...
...because I never will.
"Where are they?..."
"Take it easy Jack..."
"Will you quit saying that? She could be anywhere out there, we don't know what the hell's happening!"
Oh great...he's gone beyond fidgeting now, and his fingers are pulling paint from the pillar he's clutching, and I'm sure they'd much rather be around a certain someone's neck right now.
"Jack, I'm sure Reebin's making sure she's okay"
Oops.
I can feel the black stare before I turn my head, and when I do he advances on me, and one hand clamps on my shoulder like a vice. I take a step back and he follows me, eyes black, brows low. I glance to the side but the others are all huddled facing the other way.
"Jack..." I warn, but his eyes tell me he's already gone. I flinch and squirm as he pins me against the wall, and this situation has got way out of control way too fast. He leans in close, eyes narrowed, and I squeeze mine shut and lean away, my brain searching for something, anything to convince him things will be okay.
"Jack...look...I'm sure that she has no interest in..."
Suddenly there are the echoing sounds of running footsteps, and our small group squash ourselves against the wall, and I can almost hear Jack's heart thumping beside me. Please don't do anything stupid Jack, that won't get Sam back. The steps come towards us, and Jack tenses, but just as I'm about to pull him back he jerks more upright, and I realise these footsteps sound different, not loud and echoing like the Jaffa we've come to know. Jack hears the difference too, and he grips my shoulder tightly in one hand and leans as far out as he can to get a glimpse of these people. I try to caution him, but then two figures come racing around the corner, and Jack flies out and practically collides with the first figure.
"Sam!" He yells, and after she does a double take and realises he's not a guard, she continues running and practically flings herself into his arms with wild abandon. He wraps his arms around her for a brief second and her momentum makes him swing her around 360 degrees before placing her back on the ground and pulling her back into the shadows with the rest of us. I have to turn away to hide my grin at their reunion, and I turn my attention to the recently arrived Reebin when both Sam and Jack realise what their actions must have looked like, and clear their throats and move away from each other.
"Reebin, are you okay?" I whisper to the man who's hanging by my shoulder. He nods grimly then turns to glare at Sam and Jack who are briefing each other. Oh...bit of a dirty look from Reebin there, I almost get the feeling that Jack may be right. Great...some jealousy in our little party we do not need.
"Are you okay Sam?"
"I'm fine sir, is the gate in there?" She asks, pointing to the large double doors behind us, and Jack nods eagerly as he looks briefly around for Reebin, stopping only to give a short grimace as he spies him by my side.
"Uh, according to the map and Reebo's directions it should be the gateroom, but we thought we'd wait for the stragglers" He smiles warmly at her, and she grins. Well, this is it. We check the corridor for guards, and carefully push open the door.
"Uh...I don't see a gate anywhere Reebo...you sure ya know what we're talking about here?" I turn to smirk at him, and he takes a step towards me with a funny look in his eye before Carter steps in between us. The room is small and square, and blinking machinery and readouts line the walls and reflect off Carter's wide eyes as she takes in the room. There is also a rack of small cupboards, and Rosay eagerly searches them for anything interesting. She pulls something lumpy out and turns around, holding it up for us all to see.
"What is this thing?" She asks, and sitting extended and the right way up in her hand is a zat gun. Some firepower at last, now I feel so much better! Sam goes across and pushes the weapon down in case Rosay accidentally discharges it, and then she fishes around in the boxes and produces one for us all.
"They're zat guns, weapons. You operate it like this Rosay. One shot stuns, two kills, and the third disintegrates"
She hands me my weapon with a grin and I pop it open and shut then tuck it in my waist band. Reebin is holding his curiously in his hand, and as I watch he lifts his head to look at me through slitted lids. Don't get any ideas now, I'm only letting you have one so you don't feel left out. Untrusted yes, left out no. I take a glance at Sam who's sprawled over the control panels, and I hope he realises that she's the only reason I'm tolerating him and letting him stay in our little group. She seems to have forgotten her mood of earlier, and is also ignoring our mutual friend. Maybe this little jaunt apart has does us some good, and shown her who's the best around here. Work Jack, not play...yeah but you know what they say about Jack's and too much work...
"Carter? Is the gate through there?"
"Well, according to the map, most of the power lines converge here, so I'd say it was a good bet that the next room is someplace important"
"Can you get us through that door?"
"Yes sir, but there's a problem. As soon as we open this door this place is going to be hot. There's a million different alarms and warning systems on these panels, and. frankly I doubt we'd have the time to dial out before dozens of guards were on top of us. As soon as I start working on this they'll know"
Damn not good. I hate this 'so near yet so far' business. Oh yeah, note to self about that very same subject, give Danny some lessons on timing and privacy when we get back home. Well we need to get home first Jack, remember?
"Okay...anyway we can distract them somehow? Any ideas Carter?"
"Uh...oh...actually sir there is one thing. Apparently from here I can access the master control for all the cells"
"And what? Let all the prisoners out, is that what you're saying?"
"Yes sir, from what we've seen the guards have never directly killed anyone, they usually just knock them out or zat them, and it would give us the perfect cover"
"Do it"
She leans over and punches in the codes, and there's the loud sound of machinery doing something somewhere, and suddenly klaxons sound from near and far and the room is bathed in a red light. She turns to look at me and I nod my head at her to open the door. This is it, time to move.
I turn to find Reebo looking at me from where he stands by some storage barrels, and I smile and stuff my hands in my pockets as I give in to the urge to rib him one last time before we gate home.
"You sure the gate's in there Reebo? I'd hate to think we were wasting our time breaking into the toilets or something..."
His eyes blacken as he looks at me, and his chin lifts imperiously.
"I told you Jack...the gate is in there..."
He moves away then to study the wall, fingers fiddling with the zat gun at his belt and suddenly I feel a little shiver go up my spine. Wait a minute...how the hell does he know all this stuff in the first place? I mean this guy turns up in the hall when I'm unconscious, and makes friends with Carter and the others and just conveniently knows the way out of here? Something doesn't quite add up does it? For all we know this whole damn thing could be a set up, the damn guy could be a mole, and we've been set up to take him home.
I should have known...I should have known there was something more to my mistrust of Reebo than my jealousy of his closeness with Sam. I should have trusted my instincts. Well, it's time to correct my mistake. I pull myself upright and slowly turn towards the pillar. I have a sarcastic comment ready on my lips and a zat in my hand as I slowly move myself around.
"Carter, stop what you're doing, we're not going home"
"Sir?"
"I think we all need to have a little talk. I get the distinct feeling that one of us isn't quite the perfect little innocent friendly prisoner they've been making out they are"
Sam talks some steps closer to me, and I stare steadily at her and Daniel, making sure my eyes don't slip over to Reebo. I'm just about to open my mouth and make my suspicions known when I pause instead at the sound of Reebin's voice grating my name from behind clenched teeth to my left.
"Jack..."
I turn slowly intending to give him an innocent raised eyebrow, but when I complete my circle and see him he's leaning over a large storage barrel propped up on his elbows, his green eyes slitted with what I can only call hatred...
...and his zat gun is pointed right at my chest.
I pause and raise my free hand at Reebin in an attempt to stall him, but his zat points unwaveringly at me, and his eyes are hard, and my zat is tucked into the back of my pants, out of reach. No way I can get it without attracting a hell of a lot of unwanted attention.
Oh shit.
I knew it, I knew he was a little snake in the grass, and as far as we know he could well be an actual snake. I knew I should never have trusted him or put up with him. I'm just trying to form some words on my lips, trying desperately to think of anything that will persuade him to stop, or stall him, but I can't, and it's too late, and he's made up his mind.
The zat in his hand discharges once, twice, and both shots go wide over my shoulder as I leap out of the way, and suddenly I fall writhing to the ground as another blast hits me square in the back from behind. Energy whips through me, muddling my nervous system, and making all my pain neurones fire at once, my muscles spasming. Getting hit by a zat blast is not something I think I could ever get used to, and will certainly never enjoy. Sam is at my side in a flash, and she holds me down firmly, and when I am finally in control of myself I look up, and see that Sam and the others, including Reebin, are staring at something by the far wall. I struggle to sit up and Sam tucks her hands under my armpits and drags me upright. And that's when I see it, my attacker and would be killer...
Rosay.
"What the...?" I start, as my confused body and brain comes slowly and unwillingly back under my control. I fumble for my zat but Rosay's arm swings toward me, bringing her weapon to bare on me once more.
"Quiet Tau'ri, or I will give you a second shot here and now!"
For a second I expected her voice to come out deep and resonant, but no, no snake to blame this on, no glowing eyes or sneaky symbiote, just her. Rosay...I can't believe it, and judging by Sam's face neither can she. I flick my glance to Reebo, and his zat is extended and pointed straight at Rosay, and her arm swings back and forth between me and him. She suddenly screams at him to put the weapon down, and when he doesn't she zats him, once, and as he falls back against Daniel the zat drops from his hand and slides away on the floor. Both Daniel's and Sam's zats lie on the panel next to where Rosay is standing, and there's only one other...mine...I don't believe it...the little weasel just saved my life. If he hadn't fired at Rosay, albeit badly, then I would have been dead. As it was the shots going past my shoulder were for her, and though the aim was lousy, they distracted her enough so that she only got one shot off at me, and gave me enough warning to leap clear.
"Rosay? What is this all about? Look...I'm sure we can..." Asks Sam from behind me, and I crush her fingers in my hand in warning. Something tells me talking her out of it ain't gonna work...
"Be quiet Sam, I have no wish to shoot you, but if you do not be quiet and tell me the address of your planet then I will kill you"
The address of our planet? Rosay is a spy, she's a damn mole and all this time I never noticed a damn thing. I was always a little dubious about Alith cause she was so quiet, but Rosay was always so involved...well of course she was Jack you idiot. She played us all for fools and she almost had us right where she wanted us. I doubt she would have actually let us through he gate but she would have had enough time to see the address and get the code from me. And only my suspicions of Reebin brought out the mole...she...she obviously thought I was talking about her. Her zat swings across us all again, and I can tell by the sweat on her face that she wasn't quite ready for this eventuality at all. No doubt she would have called in the guards as soon as we got near to getting home...except...she must have some way to contact them...I hear another voice then, and I grit my teeth.
"Uh...listen...uh...Rosay...why are you doing this?"
Daniel takes a step forward, with his hands held together in front of him and wearing his best diplomatic face. Reebin having recovered decides to follow him, and he eyes his zat where it lies out of reach on the floor. Alith just stands there, and I can tell she's completely shocked. I'll say one thing Rosay, you're damn good,
"Quiet Daniel! And you Reebin, stay where you are!" Reebin glances again at the zat, then decides to confront Rosay.
"Why are you doing this Rosay? Why are you siding with our captors? What did they offer you?"
She stares blankly at Reebin, and I carefully ease to my feet standing in front of Sam, making sure I offer her a clear view of the zat showing from under my jacket. She squeezes my fingers to let me know she sees, and Daniel takes another step forward. That's right Danny, distract her, keep her talking...
"She's not siding with them Reebin, she is one of them, aren't you?"
What? One of them? Daniel...I hope you know where you're going with this. Rosay chooses to say nothing, but her eyes are fixed on Daniel., and she raises her chin as she speaks.
"I am an descendant of the original denizens of this planet. My Great, Great Grandfather was killed as a child when the bastard Goa'uld invaded our world"
"Uh yeah, I've already read your propaganda..."
"Daniel..." I warn, but he doesn't even acknowledge my words. Rosay's eyes turn dark, and her eyes no longer flick to Reebin as often. Well, okay Daniel, you keep at it, maybe all that reading is actually gonna serve us for once. I jut hope Reebin doesn't go all heroic on me and try and take Rosay down himself, we've already seen that he's a terrible shot, and I doubt he's much better at the hand to hand stuff. Meanwhile I press back against Sam, entwining her fingers with mine, and moving in front of her. I want it to look like I'm protecting her, which, if I'm entirely truthful I guess I am, but at the same time I feel the fingers of her other hand move ever so slowly against my back, and millimetre by millimetre move up under my jacket towards my zat. Once she gets it, and an opportunity presents itself, I'll signal her, duck and roll, and she can take Rosay down.
"It is not 'propaganda' as you call it, it is the truth, and my family lived it! The Goa'uld enslaved my people, and those they could not enslave they killed! And my ancestors gave their lives to get rid of them! You have no idea how hard they fought!"
"I think I have a fair idea, your people are not the only ones fighting this battle Rosay..."
Her zat flies back to me, and Daniel glares at me for opening my mouth. Well what's he gonna do? Listen to her? Let her give her side of the story? Okay, so maybe he's doing the old counter-terrorist strategy of sympathising with her, but I don't think it's gonna work. Sam squeezes my fingers tighter, and I give Danny an almost imperceptible nod for him to carry on. Rosay grits her teeth, her eyes shining, and starts to shout at Daniel again. I think she's finding it easier shouting at him because she doesn't know him, and whenever she talks to me or Sam her voice raises a few notches, and her arm starts to quiver. Okay, maybe I should leave this to Daniel, otherwise she might just snap and shot one of us. I'll give him two minutes, and if he makes no headway, she goes down. Well, at least Rosay certainly seems eager to talk.
"We defeated them! It is written in the annals of my ancestors after the final day of their victory! 'And we rose up against them, and they saw our rage and pain, and we broke them down with it!'"
Woah. She really believes that, when she spoke that line it felt line it really came down through history, each words weighted with blood and pain. I mean I understand, I do. Daniel told us a little about what he'd learned, and it sure wasn't pretty. I was so pissed at these people, and what they were doing, but when he really pushed me on it, I couldn't say for sure that I'd be certain that under those circumstances, the same wouldn't happen to us. How could I?
"And then you took their place, didn't you?" Daniel says quietly and firmly, his face set, his voice cutting across Rosay's tirade. Her other arm which had been pointing to the heavens drops by her side, and she just stares at him aghast. I think you just took a hell of a step past 'conversation' Daniel.
"They left us with nothing...they destroyed out world...we had nothing left!"
"You had a choice! There's always a choice!"
"No, they left us with only one thing..."
"Revenge?"
"No, they left us hope, and what is life without hope? And if you have hope you must be prepared to fight for what you hope for"
Huh. That actually makes me look at her. That's the first thing she's said that I actually agree with. Sometimes hope IS all we have, and if it's something you want, maybe something you can't live without then yeah, yeah ya gotta fight for it. If your not prepared to fight for it then it can't be worth having in the first place can it Daniel keeps talking to her, but for some reason her words about hope and fighting for it are going round and round in my head and I gulp, trying not to think about Carter standing behind me. Are wishes and hope the same thing? Are they?
"Rosay, you're people freed themselves from slavery by the Goa'uld, and that is truly commendable, we have only recently started to oppose them, but we do understand something of what you went through. You won Rosay, you won..."
"Yes, we won, and we will not let anyone else control us ever again!"
Okay, much though I'm trying to concentrate on Rosay's words and state of mind, and also look as inconspicuous as possible, it's rather difficult with Carter's finger's sliding ever-so-slowly across my bare back. Her fingertips are burning me where they meet my skin, and her other hand trembling in mine really isn't helping. She's trying to make it look like her hand is resting on my back in some sort of moral support, so she must go slowly, bringing her hand back towards her and up my jacket and T-shirt to reach the zat at the same time. I wish I had my T-shirt tucked in so she wouldn't have to touch my bare skin, and I wish I hadn't jammed the damn weapon so far down my pants for safety. She's gonna have to really get her fingers down there and around the handle to get it out and ready as quick as possible. Well, at least I can give thanks for one thing, at least it's not down the front of my pants. Mind you, maybe this time she'd believe my lie about my sidearm...
"But, but don't you see you're doing the same thing the Goa'uld did? Don't you see you're simply replacing them?"
"We are no longer slaves, hosts, and never again will we fall to the Goa'uld. We have made ourselves anew Daniel...we have made ourselves anew!"
"All you've done is remade yourself in their image"
"NO!...we are better than them, we have taken control of ourselves...we..."
"Rosay, in doing to others what they did to you, you are worse than them, you now stand for everything you profess to have hated about them, don't you see that it's..."
"And we rose up against them, and they saw our rage and pain, and we broke them down with it!"
"Rosay..."
"And we rose up against them, and they saw our rage and pain, and we broke them down with it!"
This is it, her arm is shaking now, and as she starts to recite this line over and over again at Daniel, ignoring his words, and her voice starts to crack and falter, the words repeated like some sort of desperate mantra. I squeeze Carter's fingers, and while Rosay's attention is elsewhere she digs down and firmly grasps the zat in her hand, then carefully eases it upwards. I have to suck in a breath as her actions pull my pants tight, and then finally with what I hope isn't an audible 'pop' it comes free. I take a fresh grip on Carter's hand, and ready myself. I feel her tense behind me, and Reebo's eyes then find mine. He obviuosly knows what we're up to, and I give him a quick glare which he thankfully seems to understand. He gives me an almost imperceptible nod then looks away.
"Rosay, you don't need to do this, your people don't nee to do this, we can help you, you can be free..."
"We ARE free!" She screams suddenly, eyes bulging and her whole body trembling. "We rose up against them, and they saw our rage and pain, and we broke them down with it!"
Daniel's face changes then, and he seems to realise that there's just no getting through to her. She's lost it, and if we don't take her down soon she'll kill us. Suddenly she swings her arm about, looking for someone to hit, and I give Carter's hand a quick double squeeze. I drop suddenly to my knees, wincing at the old familiar joint pain, but Rosay seems somehow ready for this move, and she neatly side-steps Carter's zat blast and fires. I move sideways and look over my shoulder in fear, and Sam has also leaped out of the way. Several more blasts follow and everyone leaps behind objects as the blasts continue. Sam presses my zat back into my hand and I lean out, but suddenly sparks fill the air as one of Rosay's blasts hits some wires or circuits or something and the place suddenly explodes with light, debris tumbling down. Blue lighting sparks through the walls, seemingly gaining energy, and everyone leaps away from it. The energy seems to culminate as it reaches a large drum shaped object in the wall, and a frenzied humming starts. I crane my head over a barrel to have a look but Sam pushes me down just in time as the large what-ever-it-was explodes, briefly deafening me. Everything seems to settle then, and I look out to find Rosay struggling under what was probably a large piece of roof. It seems to have hooked into her loose woollen jacket.
"Don't move!" I yell, but she simply glares and sends another zat blast my way. The acrid smoke starts to clear and people move out from behind their protection. I push out from behind my cover and go to bring her down. If I can just move fast enough I can knock her over and get that damn zat out of her hand before she can cause any more damage or hurt anyone. Carter follows me and when Rosay sees us she struggles and slips out of her jacket and bolts for the door. Sam fires another couple of shots but she quickly punches the door button and slips out it and is gone. I go after her, but when I look out she's no where to be seen. No doubt using her knowledge of this place to make herself scarce as soon as damn possible. Damn.
"She's gone, she's outta here!" I say, flinging my hands in the air as I stride back into the room.
"She left her...oh....hey Sam...look!"
I turn to face Daniel and he's pulling something black and squat from one of the pockets in Rosay's abandoned jacket. Sam rushes over and scoops the item from Daniel's hands, then carefully turns it over and probes it with an outstretched finger.
"Carter?"
"Uh...basically I think it's a radio sir...and...a transmitter" She looks up at me as she says her last words, eyebrows raised, and I get her meaning instantly.
"Well, for once something goes right. We have a transmitter, and that means we can go home. Plus Rosay can't call any buddies in on us, so hopefully we have a little time"
"But Jack, surely all our codes will be locked out by now, uh...the iris will be closed"
Reebin just watches, baffled by all our talk, and I feel smug at the teamwork, the old, familiar feeling of SG1 working together. I miss Teal'c though, damn but it'll be good to see him, and Hammond, and even the fresh and annoying face of Simmons peering down from the control room. No codes eh Danny? Well I have an ace up my sleeve.
"Well Danny, that's where you're wrong. There is one code left to use, and that's means we're going home."
"Sir?" Asks Carter, face crinkling as she looks at me. Ah I was gonna tell you Carter, I really was, as my 2IC you deserved to know, but we were imprisoned together and the situation just didn't warrant it.
"Yep, Hammond and I came up with a new set of emergency codes for cases like this, and uh...I kinda need your help for that Carter, we need some paper and a pen...and Daniel? Do you know what date it is?"
"Sam! Jack!"
We all turn then to look at Reebo, and he's cradling Alith's head in his hands. Oh shit. She's trembling and almost convulsing in his hands, and one half of her face and upper body is burned.
"Alith!"
Carter and Daniel rush over, and I carefully pick my way through the rubble to her side. Carter quickly assesses the situation and turns to give me an update.
"Sir...she's got bad burns and she's unconscious...she must have received the powered-up shock from the zat blast"
"Okay people, Daniel, can you help Reebo with Alith, Carter? I need you here"
Great, well things haven't exactly been turning out the way I planned.
We manage to sort out some materials and I sit with Carter and work out the code we need to send home. The General and I were working on something new, a code that depends on lots of things. The day we left, the members of our team, the planet we went to, all sorts of things, and all these numbers are then put in a certain order and subtracted down until we have the correct amount of numbers. It's complicated, well for me anyway, and I just hope I remember it right. That done, Carter gets back to the panel to get the door open. Finally this thing is starting to come together. She signals me that she's ready and Daniel and I take up positions by the door with our zats in case of any guards. I hear the beeps as Carter punches in some sort of code, and the door slides lazily into the wall. I tip my head around the corner, and there's the gate, and damn if it ain't the most beautiful...second most beautiful thing, I've seen so far on this planet. I give the all clear signal and Daniel rushes in, then I go back to help Reebin carry Alith. She seems to be fading fast.
"How is she?"
"Not good Jack, we must get help"
"Yeah well don't worry Reebo, we'll be home in a couple of minutes, no sweat"
I give Reebin a pat on the back, then together we gently manoeuvre Alith into the gateroom, and carefully place her with her back against the wall at a safe distance. Reebin squats down to tend to her, and I tuck my zat into my waistband and am about to turn to order Carter to dial home when she beats me to it and calls on me.
"Uh...Colonel?"
"What?" I ask as I spin to face her. Her face is set and serious, and I take a step towards her. She indicates the rest of the room with her head and I take a slow look.
"Sir...there's no DHD"
Well if that isn't all we need...
Oops.
I think things have taken a little turn for the worse around here.
Maybe I'm hallucinating, maybe they've started doing their experiments on me again, but I don't think so. I sense battle, and if there's one thing the Goa'uld are familiar with it's the sounds, sights, tastes and feelings of battle. Well, whatever way you look at it things have taken a little turn for the worse around here.
Whether it's worse for me or worse for them I don't know, and to be perfectly honest I don't care. Either way it looks like a change is coming, and I welcome that. Death or freedom, either would be the release I so crave for. I just wish there was something I could do, some action I could take, but there isn't. I'm trapped here, trapped in this cold watery prison, and no matter who wins the battle here, no one will come for me, no one will care.
No one.
"Well...this is something you could have mentioned Reebo"
The Colonel sighs and leans on a large ornate pillar as he berates Reebin, but there's no real venom in his voice. He just sounds weary, and I know how he feels. We're just not getting any break here.
"No-one mentioned a 'DHD' to me, you only asked if I knew where the gate was, and I have found it for you Jack"
"Yeah well, it's no good without power or a way to dial it up Reebo!"
"Well perhaps if you'd been less suspicious of me, you would have been spending more time thinking about important things like the existence of this 'DHD'!"
Gotcha there Colonel, gotcha there. The Colonel's mouth hangs open for a second, then it shuts with an audible snap. He pulls himself upright, then takes two slow steps over to Reebin, his eyes on the floor and his hands in his pockets as he swings from side to side and tries to look nonchalant. He opens his mouth to speak quietly to Reebin, but before he says anything he quickly looks at the rest of us, and we somehow find something else to do. Daniel goes back to checking Alith, and I pull the map from my pocket and start to study it. But I keep my ears open, because if this is where the Colonel apologises to Reebin then I'm not going to miss it for the world! I lean over the map and start to trace some of the coloured lines that lead from the gateroom, and listen.
"Look, Reebo..."
"It's REEBIN Jack, REEBIN..."
"Uh...yeah....sorry...Reebin. Look, personally I think I had every reason to suspect you, and to be perfectly honest I ain't willing to give up on disliking you just yet, but I guess I do have to thank you for saving my life"
I smile as I study the map at the Colonel's crude and grudging thanks, but a thanks none the less. I have to resist the urge to turn and watch them, but I imagine Reebin is wearing a smug smile, and sure enough when he speaks, his voice is laced with sarcasm.
"My pleasure Jacky"
A muffled squeak from the corner tells me Daniel has been listening as well, and I have to bite my finger to stop from joining him. A sudden silence falls, with only a few small noises which must be the sounds of the Colonel spinning about on his heel and checking to see if we were listening.
"Alright, alright...look, just tell me one thing. How the hell did ya know all this stuff anyway? Like where the gate is and how to get here? Ya gotta admit, you knew a little too much for the average prisoner Reebin"
"When I was brought to this world, I woke when we exited the gate. Whatever it was they gave me wore off, and I saw the gate as I was being carried over someone's shoulder. On my world we had just uncovered the gate, and we did not know what it was. I was working with the team who uncovered it, and one night while we slept they came for us. I was carried to a cell but all the time I was able to remember the route we took"
"Yeah well why didn't you tell us that in the first place Reebin?"
"You never asked Jack"
Another squeak from behind me, and this time the Colonel glares at Daniel over my shoulder.
"Aw come on Reebin, you kept quite a lot from us, if you'd just told us..."
"You were suspicious of me as soon as I arrived Jack, that was plainly obvious. Would you have believed me?"
The Colonel pauses and draws in a deep breath, then releases it as a long sigh.
"Yeah okay, you've made your point, now if we can get on with things, we still have a hell of a problem here..."
Or not. I focus my attention back on the map, and carefully follow one set of lines that radiate out from this room. I follow the routes to their destination, then check it twice, and then for a third time. It has to be, this has to be it, and those hasty equations scribbled by the side of the diagram of the room are very, very familiar.
"Sir, I think I've found the DHD"
"You found it? Well that's good news..."
He comes over to my side and leans over the panel, letting it take his weary weight as he puffs out a breath. He looks tired. I guess the two of us haven't really had much sleep lately, for various reasons. He smiles a little at me, then looks curiously at the map I'm pointing at, and I can tell he's not gonna be happy with what I have to tell him. He looks around the room then back at the map, and his brows crease as his brain works through the options. He swings around again, looking under the panel in an exaggerated gesture, then back at me with his hands out.
"Well, unless it's really, really small I don't see it Carter"
"Well, it's not here sir"
"You just said you found it!" He says, his voice rising a few notches as he leans into me.
"Yes but it's not 'here' sir, it's*here*"
I point at a small room on the map and he leans over.
"How d'ya get that?" He asks, confused, and I shift over to let him look as Daniel joins us.
"This room has lots of power lines leading to and from it, but the bulk of them, these blue ones, lead to this small room over here, and no-where else. This must be where the DHD is kept. They obviously decided to keep it separate from the gate for security reasons or whatever, but they've ran lines to power it"
"You sure?" He asks, propping his chin on his elbow as he follows the blue line on the map, finally bringing his finger next to mine on the small square room a few corridors away. I have to curse myself inwardly as that one, tiny touch makes me shiver, and Daniel glances up at me curiously. Shake if off Sam, work to do.
"It must be, these blue lines don't go anywhere else, so they must be for powering the gate"
"So...someone has to go work the DHD, is that what your saying?"
I nod, and the Colonel pulls himself to his full height and sucks in a breath as he thinks. Daniel looks curiously at the map and when the Colonel sees this he leans over and whumps Daniel's arm. Daniel pulls back surprised as I do, and the Colonel just shakes his head and grins.
"Ya see Danny? 'Oh I'll take the book, what on earth could we possibly use the map for?'" I can't help but snort, and Daniel jut cocks his head to one side and gives Jack that look. The look that tries to berate him for acting childish, but always goes unnoticed by the target. Suddenly all business again, the Colonel goes into 'orders' mode.
"Okay kids, here's what we'll do. You hole up here, and I'll go work the DHD. Then when the gate opens, go for it and don't wait for me, okay?"
"Jack, I don't think that..."
"Sir? With all due respect sir, you may need me"
Daniel stops his weak protest and the Colonel turns to face me, fingering with his zat as he looks into my eyes and purses his lips. His eyes meet mine and he offers me a little crooked smile.
"I guess it seems a bit unlikely that the DHD will just be sitting there out in the open ready to use huh?"
I just nod, and he looks around at the rest of us. Reebin looks up from tending Alith, and the Colonel takes a quick look at everyone, then nods to himself.
"Okay, Carter, you're with me. Daniel, you stay here with Reebin and Alith, and as soon as the gate opens, transmit that code I gave you and go home okay?"
Reebin half stands from the corner and starts to protest.
"Jack, I really don't think that..."
"Reebin, there's not even gonna be an argument here. Carter and I have the best chance at this, and no doubt her many skills will be called upon when we find the DHD. I need you to look after Alith and make sure she gets back for treatment, ya hear me?"
The Colonel's face is set and hard, and I know that look very well. That look means he's made up his damn mind and no-one and nothing is going to change it. Well Sam, looks like your not gonna get home just yet huh? Reebin stares at him, then back at me, then his eyes fall to Alith who's delirious with her fever now. He looks up again and nods once at the Colonel, and we start to get ready. Daniel bundles Alith up in his jacket, then they move her to the far side of the gate and just beside where it curves out of the stone ground. That they they'll have the best protection from any guards who get in, will avoid the gate outsplash, and still be in a good position to get through the wormhole before anyone has a chance to stop them. I carry one zat and take another to tuck in my pants, and go to have a look at the door command panel around the corner.
"Carter? Whatcha up to?" says a quiet voice by my side a few minutes later. I turn to see the Colonel, and he's sorting himself out. He always goes through this sort of ritual before we leave the changing room to go on a mission, and he's still doing it even though he isn't wearing most of the gear he should be, I watch as his hands travel over his body, checking, preparing, and then they move and tuck a spare zat back in his belt-line like before. He's peering interested over my shoulder to where I have a panel off the door by the wall and I'm carefully sifting through some of the wires.
"I think I can reengage the doors locking system so that it'll be very difficult to open from the other side sir. Luckily this hasn't been damaged by the firefight"
"Good idea. Uh, but too difficult? You are remembering that we have to come back through"
"Yes sir, I'm making it as complicated as I can, but knowing what I did should make it fairly easy for me to open"
"Good, well done Major"
I smile, and he gently closes his fingers around my shoulder and he leans in to give me a big smile.
"You okay with this?"
He's asking me if I mind risking my life. A commanding officer doesn't ask his subordinates if they want to do what he says, he gives orders, that's his job, but he's asking me. He's asking me and I really do appreciate the gesture.
"Yes sir"
Evidently that was the right answer, for his hand slides around my shoulders and settles there, and he gently tugs me towards him. My shoulder tucks under his arm, and having nowhere else to put my head I slowly let it drop wearily to his shoulder with a sigh. His other arm pulls me around and around my waist, and I tentatively bring my own arms around him, holding him lightly. He places his chin on my head for a brief second, then lets me go and holds me at arms length. He gives me a long look, and my heart starts to race in my chest. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can decide on what to say, Daniel's voice reaches us from the main part of the room.
"Uh guys, just one thing before you go...what's this?"
Daniel is standing fingering the gate, and the Colonel gives me a nod to go and look. I quickly cover the distance to the gate and I feel rather than hear the Colonel come up behind me, and he sighs as I lean in to where Daniel's pointing. I think he's getting a little sick of Daniel's uh...bad timing shall we say? Well, so far it's the only thing that's kept us out of trouble, and I really should thank him for it. Later, much later, when I can think more objectively about it. I study the gate where Daniel's pointing to, and when I see what he means I look up and around the circumference of the gate, leaning back on my heels to study the furthest reaches.
"What?" Asks the Colonel, straining to see. I point out the inside edge of the gate to him, and he sees what Daniel was so worried about.
"Is that an iris or something?" He asks, lip curled back as he strains his neck upwards.
"I think sir, that that is exactly what it is"
"And that means..."
"Jack that probably means we won't be able to come back through with more troops for you guys if you don't make it back"
"Daniel, we'll make it back, and anyway I'm sure Carter can disable that thing from the DHD room or whatever"
"I hope so sir, but what I'm most worried about is whether the gate will work at all because of the damage this room has sustained"
"Carter, I really did not want to hear that right now"
"Sir, I'm just being thorough. I don't think the power supply to the gate was damaged, but a lot of other systems her were, and we don't have the time for me to check everything"
"You're right we don't, any minute Rosay could bring some of her buddies back here, then no-one's going anywhere. Daniel, get through the gate as soon as we open it, and tell Hammond what's going on. If we're not back within 24hrs, I think you can safely say we ain't coming back"
"Okay, uh...we'll leave the radio here for..."
"Daniel, we can't do that"
"Why not Carter?" asks the Colonel as he swings to look at me. I take the radio from Daniel's hands and show the Colonel the readout.
"Sir, any code we input or transmit remains in the memory. The only way to remove it is the remove the memory, and without that we can't input our fourteen digit code as this thing only has a 5 digit on-screen memory. And we can't leave the radio here with the code in the memory..."
"Because Rosay and her buddies could use it to get to Earth..."
"Yes sir"
"So...Jack? Sam? How are you going to get back? If you have no way to send the code?"
"It's a one time code anyway Daniel, the computer's wouldn't accept it a second time. Look, tell Hammond we're coming, Carter and I will figure out some kind of signal that could only come from us, then hopefully you won't let us splat on the iris"
"Jack..."
"Daniel, we'll think of something. Now Carter's gonna lock the door so hopefully no-one can get in, but I want you and Reebin to be ready just in case. You got that?"
The Colonel glances at Reebin, then back to Daniel, and Daniel fights down whatever he was going to say and simply nods. The Colonel thumps him on the arm, nods at Reebin then turns on his heel.
"Okay, I'll have a look outside, be ready Carter"
"Yes sir"
With that the Colonel readies one of his zats and jogs out to the other room. I turn back to Daniel and he forces a smile, and I reply in kind, but we both know we don't mean it. He pushes his glasses back up his nose, then steps close and holds my shoulders in his hands.
"Okay, you guys follow me as soon as you can okay?"
"We will Daniel, now watch your back, and get these people out of here you got it?"
We hear a clatter from the other room and a curse as the Colonel obviously has some trouble moving the debris from the door, and Daniel grins and nudges me.
"You take care of him now, and if he gets out of line just bite him in the hand or something"
I can't help but smile at his recommendation, and he grins and looks down. If I was in any doubt about Daniel's knowledge of what the Colonel and I have...uh...been through, then I think this proves his research covered a lot of subjects.
"Yeah but I think he likes that" I reply cheekily, and Daniel goes red as we share a quiet laugh.
"Huh...good point. Get the two of you back soon Sam, we'll be waiting"
"Keep the light on Daniel"
"We will"
The Colonel whistles to me from the doorway, and I turn to go. Reebin is watching me from where he's crouching with Alith by the gate, and I'd be lying if his hands on her didn't stir a tiny piece of anger in me. Oh I know she's okay as far as Reebin is concerned. Believe me as soon as we joined up with the Colonel and the others I made sure she was okay, and she simply seemed pleased to see me and Reebin, but for her part she wasn't overly eager to see him, and I guess I do believe him. Still, it doesn't matter now, if the Colonel and I don't get the gate working then no-one's getting home and I won't have to think through anything. Reebin holds his hand up, palm open, and nods solemnly. I nod in return and another more desperate whistle comes from the door and I turn and leave.
"Coming sir!"
Part 3
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